Arson Murder And Jaywalking / Video Games

"Tell me, Bats, what are you really scared of? Failing to save this cesspool of a city? Not finding the commissioner in time? Me, in a thong?"

— The Joker, Batman: Arkham Asylum

Arson, Murder, and Jaywalking in Video Games.

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• The surreal and unexpectedly bizzaire 77p egg: Eggwife has this in its Content Warnings:
  77p egg: Eggwife contains blood and gore, intense violence, cannibalism, nudity, very strong language, drug use, cartoon depictions of consensual sex, cartoon depictions of death caused by sexual mishap, excessive excrement including vomit and semen, animal cruelty, presence of sex toys.
• In Agent Under Fire, R is listing off all the (impressive) combat improvements to the BMW at the end of the second level, and finishes with, "And of course... A refrigerated beverage holder."
• In Age of Empires Online, the port master tells a tale of how bandits ransacked his home, murdered his wife, set fire to his fishing nets, stole his harpoons, boiled his cat, drank his grog, and sat in his favorite chair. Oh, and they also kidnapped his children, which he wants you to rescue.
• In Alpha Protocol, when warned what can happen if he gets caught, Thorton replies, "I know. Execution; imprisonment; possibly another lecture from Westbridge ..."
• Batman: Arkham Asylum:
  The Joker: Tell me, Bats, what are you really scared of? Failing to save this cesspool of a city? Not finding the Commissioner in time? Me... IN A THONG!!??
• Batman: The Telltale Series: In Season 2, John Doe expresses to Bruce Wayne the reasons why he hates the Riddler thusly:
  John Doe: He's a thief and a killer and worst of all he's — he's rude.
• Ragna the Bloodedge, the Anti-Hero protagonist of BlazBlue, is an SS-rank criminal and outlaw who has single-handedly destroyed two government branches of the NOL, killing many people present. Thanks to Taokaka and Platinum, he also ends up adding dine-and-dashing to his rap sheet as well (and it's hilarious).
• Borderlands 2:
  • In-game posters state that Salvador is wanted for manslaughter, theft, arson, destruction of property, trespassing, cannibalism, public indecency, and… profanity.
  • According to her profile card, Gaige is wanted for "creation of unauthorized technology, murder, and excessive adorability".
• In the opening cinematic for Bully, Jimmy describes the alumni of Bullworth Academy as "nothing but arms dealers, mass murderers, and corporate lawyers." Of course, some people would argue lawyers are worse than the first two...
• The Conduit 2's Wikipedia page describes some stages you fight on, it reads:
  "The game is set to take place in a wide variety of areas. What has been shown so far is a Trust owned oil rig, Atlantis, the Lost City of Z, Washington D.C, Siberia, China and England. In the previous game, D.C was war torn, but it will have even more damage inflicted on it now. However, in an interview at E3 it was stated that Ford will be able to go to China."
  • SO D.C. is pretty much destroyed, and in this game, it will be destroyed even more, but Ford can go to China. Hoo-rah.
• The backstory of Coffee Crisis, where aliens invade earth to steal our our rock music, cat videos, and coffee.
• In Crusader Kings II DLC The Reaper's Due, new prisoner interactions include humiliation, torture, mutilation, cannibalism, and reading bad poetry to them.
• In Dark Seed II, Mike Dawson tells his mother that what he went through the previous year was "far worse than anything you could imagine." Her response? "I've lost a husband and a sister to cancer, your father left me no insurance money, and I have arthritis."
• In The Darkside Detective, the city library is plagued with the ghosts of dead authors. The ghost of Enid Blyton disapproves of the others, saying that they're all terrible people like occultists, horror writers, and DIY fanatics.
• In Darkstalkers, Baby Bonnie Hood's routine as an assassin is as follows (note the fifth one):
  1. Attending the conference Hunters Guild of the Northern European Alpine Branch to secure part of the silly profit, interchanging with the other Hunters is necessary. 2. Obtaining weapons and ammunition through illegal means. A first class job requires first class materials. 3. Maintaining portable weapons at home. To every Hunter, skipping this is suicidal. 4. Making gunpowder mixtures for mines. Continuously researching is the sign of a professional. 5. Going to town to buy food and clothing, and going to Grandmother's house to do errands. 6. Training for controlled shooting, such as shooting 50 targets while performing a 100 m (328 ft) dash. Basic training is the foundation for advanced skill. One must not forget to always return to the basics. 7. Using the satellite Catastrophe, a camouflaged military satellite, to retrieve information on Darkstalkers. Information gathering is the key to the current Hunter business. One must use any means possible to eliminate the target. 8. Enter the Dark Hunting Grand Prix held twice a year. A target is decided upon and they compete to see who can hunt it down first. This is a competition for the Hunters to test their own skills, but not all Hunters compete in this tournament.
• The second Destroy All Humans! has Crypto using a list of reasons to try and turn the Russian cosmonauts against the Blisk: they're trying to mind-control the cosmonauts, they're giant freakin' lobsters from outer freakin' space, and they're taking away all the vodka. That last one starts a riot.
• In Deus Ex: Human Revolution, on the second visit to Hengsha, Adam has to enter the Harvesters' base. If he does so, kills a lot of Harvesters to get to Tong, and made friends with Tong on his first visit, Tong will have this to say:
  "I am disappointed in you, Mr. Jensen. I thought we were friends. My hacker goes missing. You break into my place of business. Half my men end up dead. And you don't even knock when entering a room."
  • Also one of Pritchard's mails on security for employees: DON'T give your friends your access cards, DON'T meet your friends and family in your workplace, and most importantly, DON'T Play shareware games during lunch hour.
  • Not so unreasonable, considering how a company that makes electronic prosthetics for the military would be worried about spyware getting on the network.
• Deus Ex: Invisible War plays with this, with a request for an inventory of Servo nets, energy clips, rotator bearings, and coffee from the weapons department.
• Disco Elysium: Innocences are spiritual and temporal leaders, and a few of them were false:
  The most famous — and important — of these was Ernö Pasternak. He was into torture, despotism, hymns, cannons, and world conquest, but got defeated by Stepan the Despicable of Kedra.
• The Excuse Plot of DLC Quest is that an evil sorcerer kidnapped Princess Macguffin, murdered the protagonist's uncle, and peed in the town's water supply.
  Shopkeeper: That seems a bit less important now.
• The Grand Grimoire's entry on the devil in Dr. Ludwig and the Devil:
  Lucifer, also knowne as Satan, sits on the highe throwne of Hell, reigning o'er the nether worlde with his iron fiste. Once the highest of angels, he hath notte forgotten his nature.
  
  It is notte recommend'd to trye to summon him, for he is powerful & deceitful & a terrible house gueste.
• In Dragon Age: Origins – Awakening, this conversation between Nathaniel and Velanna. Though, it also gets a genuine reaction from her.
  Nathaniel: How do you feel about having killed all those people because you were too arrogant to check your facts?
  Velanna: Warm and fuzzy.
  Nathaniel: You are a terrible, terrible person. And your ears are clownish.
  • The core Dragon Age: Origins had a few, ranging from Zevran pointing out that you can kill with knives, magic, and small children launched at great speed, to the female City Elf Warden lamenting that at her wedding, there were rapists and they got the wrong cake.
• The Diddy Kong Racing promotional video starts out with one of these: "First on the scene! First with the news! Last in the journalist's invitational softball tournament! This is Hot Topic!"
• The first Disgaea gave us this little bit of gold, when describing the "ultimate Zombie":
  Aramis: "The fists of a Dark Karate master... The legs of the fastest demon in the Netherworld... The brain of Mahogany, a famous sorcerer... The iron body of Hercules... And a horse wiener!"
  • Naturally, Laharl's reaction to all of them is smug disdain, except for the last, which worries him. Even the flavor text of the item once you steal it reflects this.
• In Touhou Eiyashou ~ Imperishable Night, Marisa says a line like this to Reimu in the Magic Team's playthrough.
  Marisa: You're right. The endless night, stealing the full moon, hiding the human village, and putting hats on stone statues, it's all Alice's fault. Now bitch, get out of the way!
• In Drill Dozer, Jill gets arrested for theft, vandalism, avoiding the police, and skipping out on 17 checks.
• At the end of one of the last maps of Dungeon Keeper, your mentor mentions how vampires have sucked the life out of everyone in the land, poisoned the wells, and 'smeared dung all on all the door handles as a joke'.
• In EarthBound (1994), after defeating the gang plaguing the first town, the mayor thanks you and summarises your conquests thusly: "You beat up the town bullies! Punched them out big time, kicked their butts, bit their heads off, spit in their eyes, and made them wet their pants! Then you made them promise not to make anymore trouble in town!"
• The Elder Scrolls:
  • Mephala is a Daedric Prince whose sphere is "obscured to mortals", but is thought to include manipulation, lies, sex, and secrets. She is also associated with fashion trends.
  • In Morrowind, if you ask the old man at the beginning about the Law in Morrowind:
    Socucius Ergalla: Theft, Trespass, Assault, Foul Murder, and Contempt are serious crimes; criminals pay compensation or serve sentences of punitive labor.
  • In Oblivion, a wanted poster for the Grey Fox charges him with "theft, embezzlement, forgery, pickpocketing, counterfeiting, burglary, conspiracy to commit theft, grand larceny, tax evasion, slander, fraud, perfidy, and impertinence."
  • Skyrim:
    • When all those city guards warn you against lollygagging, they mean it, as you learn when you meet an Orc Bandit named Borkul the Beast in the Cidhna Mines prison:
      Player: So what are you in for?
      Borkul: Murder, Banditry, Assault, Theft... and lollygagging.
    • To quote Thonar Silver-Blood, the guy that runs Cidhna Mines, he uses the Boxed Crooks inside to get rid of competitors, agents, and idiots.
    • This Let's Play: "Y’know, Skryim (sic) is a great game, and I have a lot of fun playing it. But there’s no denying that it has problems. It’s buggier than a termite hive, full of goddamned wolves, and I can’t name my horse."
    • At the very beginning, the group of criminals being executed have committed such crimes as leading an open rebellion, horse theft... and being in the general area when the others were arrested. (That last one is you, by the way.)
    • Sheogorath cites a short list of the many things Emperor Pelagius feared and hated in life, including wild dogs, assassins, the undead, and pumpernickel.
• In Endless Frontier, Kaguya apologizes to Cardia on behalf of the party fighting through the starting dungeon (actually one of her force's ships) and "destroying a few machines... And robots... And I didn't make the bed when I left."
• The second cinematic in Epic Mickey shows Mickey strapped to an operating table, with the Mad Doctor controlling a device that has shears, a corkscrew/drill hybrid, a chainsaw, and a toilet plunger. Then it turns out it's supposed to remove Mickey's heart and suddenly gets scarier.
• In Fable and Fable II, after you commit crimes in a town, a guard will run up to you and charge you with a list of all of them, offering you options of how to respond to the charges (pay a fine, run away, etc). In many cases, you've just finished rampaging through a town destroying everything and everyone in your path, and then a guard charges you with 30+ counts of murder and one count of vandalism from that door you kicked down.
  • It's even worse in the first game during the tutorial; if you gave the teddy bear to the bully, you are damn sure going to hear about it from the guard.
• Bethesda really likes this one. In Fallout 3, if you ask Moira Brown what sort of work is involved in helping her with her Wasteland Survival Guide, she replies "Let's see... dealing with radiation, testing an experimental device, and I won't lie to you, it may involve some reading. That sort of stuff."
  • In-universe, however, it very well could be justified. This is a world where dealing with radiation, and pre-war technology is a common thing. Notably rare, however, if not completely absent outside of the Vaults, are English/reading classes.
  • In Fallout: New Vegas, when you enter the abandoned Sunset Sarsaparilla factory, you can talk to the animatronic of Festus, the company mascot, who reveals what is probably the reason the place was closed: a health advisory that played on the news when it was still running claimed that excessive consumption of their product could lead to kidney damage, nausea, digital numbness, anxiety, loss of visual acuity, dizziness, occasional nosebleeds, joint inflammation, tooth decay, sore throat, bronchitis, organ rupture, and halitosis.
  • In Fallout 76, the Protectrons in the Whitespring mall ask you to refrain from theft, looting, assault, murder, or trampling the flowers.
• Final Fantasy VIII Right before the Battle of the Gardens, the player is given the choice of various orders to have Squall give to Balamb Garden. The choices involve their battle strategy, but one involves what to do with the hot dogs. (You're called out if you go overboard with the orders, though.)
  • As well as in Final Fantasy VI, with Kefka. "Phooey! Emperor Gesthal's stupid orders! Edgar, you pinhead! Why do you have to live in the middle of a stinking desert?!? These recon jobs are the pits!" "...AHEM! There's SAND on my boots!"
• In the Stormblood expansion to Final Fantasy XIV, you are introduced to Hancock, who greets you by listing out your more particular feats: "Slayer of Gods...Rider of Dragons...Savior of Ishgard...Stealer of Pants!" That last one becomes 100% true if you completed Hildebrand's Heavensward missions before coming here.
• According to the Soviet propaganda in Freedom Fighters (2003), "Last three American presidents were corrupt, involved in assassination of foreign contries' leaders, and cheated on their wives."
• Inverted in the NES game Freedom Force (not to be confused with the Irrational Games title of the same name), the Elite Assassins have jaywalking, forging passports, and storming embassies on listed on their rap sheet in that order, all in the name of getting on TV news.
• In the opening of Freedom Wars, you new accessory lists off the restrictions your Sinner is under: "You are forbidden to leave your cell. You are forbidden to take your own life. You are forbidden to sleep lying down." Crosses over with All Crimes Are Equal, as they go on to list several other mundane things (like pacing) that you're not allowed to do, to hammer home a CODE-1 Sinner has no rights at all.
• The chat rules for The Godfather: Five Families are "No profanity, personal attacks, hate speech, spam or links"
• On the back of the PC cover for Grand Theft Auto.
  Murder, road rage, pimping, bank raids, hijackings, armed robbery, extortion, adultery, smuggling, petty thievery, drug busts, police bribes, unlawful carnal knowledge, and double parking!
• In Grand Theft Auto: Vice City, one of the guests on KCHAT is a man-hating Straw Feminist who criticizes men for drinking beer, smoking cigarettes, and wearing hats.
• In The Great Ace Attorney, Soseki Natsume tells Ryunosuke and Susato how he was being interrogated by the police during his arrest.
  Soseki Natsume: "You did it, didn't you?" "Confess!" "You're a killer!" "Why the moustache?"
• In Guild Wars, when the Asura golemancer Zinn is put on trial, the charges against him are given as "1. Mathematical turpitude. 2. Gross flummoxery in the first degree. 3. Reckless instigation of mayhem WITHOUT a permit. 4. An overdue library tome".
  • Winds of Change has a Stone Summit Dwarf who declares the players "killed our leader, slaughtered hundreds of my kin, disrupted our mining facility, and TRESPASSED ON OUR LAND!"
  • Sif Shadowhunter: "I am Sif, great hunter of the north, slayer of ten dozen wolves, threescore bear, and one vicious rabbit."
• Guild Wars 2 has a classic example in Guild Bounty target "Devious Teesa", who is apparently wanted for "theft, attempted assassination, and incorrect filling of Patent Form 12.21-D".
• There was a PC game in The '80s which provided a Backstory for, of all things, Hangman. According to the story, the Player Character's friend was arrested for murder, arson, manslaughter, grand theft auto, and a list of other felonies, and also "extreme ugliness."
  But the judge, being a benevolent sort, is willing to commute the sentence down to just extreme ugliness provided that the accused has one friend. GUESS WHO?
• House of the Dead OVERKILL, gives us this (slightly but intentionally Narm-ish) line at the end of the game as Agent G lists off what the Big Bad has accomplished.
  G: "You've broken a hundred laws, caused the deaths of countless thousands, endangered the safety of every man, woman, and child on this planet, and you put our friend's Brain in a Jar!"
• At the end of Hunt Down the Freeman, Mitchell confronts Adam, a traitor in his organization, and accuses him of, among other things, attacking Mitchell with a crowbar during the Black Mesa incident (something that Mitchell blamed Gordon Freeman for).
  Mitchell: You lied to me. You betrayed me. You used me. You fucked up my face.
• Hyperdimension Neptunia Victory: When Hyperdimension Rei starts attacking Ultradimension Planeptune, Neptune lists suggestions for what's happening.
  Neptune: Lightning? Earthquake? An oil spill lit on fire? A really strict father?
• In Injustice: Gods Among Us, The Joker's biography says that his crimes include, "Terrorism, murder, arson, larceny, robbery, racketeering, kidnapping, torture and jaywalking".
• In Katawa Shoujo, Jigoro, Shizune's father, calls Hisao "An amoral, directionless glue-huffer, with a complete lack of etiquette and absolutely no fashion sense".
• Kid Icarus: Uprising gives us Thanatos and his job bonuses.
  Hades: He is the god of death, after all. So he gets perks, like evil powers and health insurance. Oh, and free soda.
• Kingdom Hearts: 358/2 Days: Genie's attempts to get his worried thoughts about Aladdin out of his mind involved dynamite, sledgehammers, and tweezers.
• Kingdom of Loathing:
  • Azazel's Temple in the demon city of Pandemonium is described as "your basic evil hellish demon dwelling: the decorative motifs include blood, pulsating skin, flames, and the occasional throw rug to add some visual interest."
  • Quoth the first Kingdom of Loathing Choose Your Own Adventure parody Jick wrote for Comicon: "just as it looks like the poor kid is going to lose the race, his opponent suddenly catches on fire, turns into a frog, gets scurvy, then trips and falls."
  • According to the back story of the in-game holiday Labór Day, after union boss Manuel Labór successfully lobbied to cut vacation time and make both the workday and work-week longer, he was "dragged out into the streets and hung, drawn, painted, messily sketched, quartered, eighthed, fed to wolves, and given an atomic wedgie by outraged laborers."
  • The voodoo snuff dropped by the Hobopolis mini-boss Zombo is "made from the powdered left hand of a gravedigger, who was hung at a crossroads, at the stroke of midnight, for tax evasion."
• In King's Quest II+, Ma Pumpkin's description of Hagatha combines this with Bread, Eggs, Milk, Squick: "You know her type... green warts, pointed ears, cannibalistic, doesn't put her trash out."
• Inverted in Knights of the Old Republic II: The Sith Lords with HK-47's complaints about the HK-51, complaining they are cheap knock-offs that butcher his original design, when the player can point out that they look very similar to him. Something that he rages less about is the fact that a bunch of assassin droids running around looking like him will make it harder for him to work as an assassin since people will know what he looks like, a much more logical reason for hating them.
• Almost literal examples in L.A. Noire. When Cole arrests people, he lists off their crimes and doesn't always do so in ascending order of seriousness.
  Cole: You are under arrest for narcotics trafficking, attempted murder, reckless endangerment, and destruction of LAPD property!
  • Somewhat humorous considering the fact that he was dead serious while listing those charges. There's no messing around on this trope with him.
• On the reveal of League of Legends champion Jinx, her wanted poster listed her crimes as:
  "murder, unprovoked assault, disturbing the peace, public indecency, murder again, unauthorized property recoloration, unflattering impersonation of an officer, reckless hexplosive detonation, destruction of the peace, really petty larceny, exorbitant weapon size, some more murders, inciting mass hysteria, making fun of the peace, aggravated jaywalking and forging of official wanted posters."
• In LEGO DC Super-Villains, when the villains are discussing how the Justice Syndicate, who are actually the Crime Syndicate, don't seem very heroic, Reverse-Flash complains that they trashed his lair, the Riddler complains that they broke all his henchmen, and Captain Cold complains that they interrupted his evil monologue.
• Liberal Crime Squad often has rap sheets that read like this:
  The defendant, Akira Copeland, is charged with treason, 4 counts of aiding a prison escape, 427 counts of felony assault, 560 counts of murder, 2 counts of arson, 2 counts of credit card fraud, 67 counts of breaking and entering, 13 counts of vandalism, resisting arrest and disturbing the peace.
• Luigi's Mansion: Dark Moon has two examples:
  • Professor E. Gadd worries that the absence of the Dark Moon will make the ghosts go crazy, cause worldwide terror, and worst of all, ruin his research.
  • Gadd says in mission A-5's description, where you have to get rid of all the spider webs, "They're blocking our progress AND they ruin the furniture AND they're just plain gross!"
• One of Madame Bwastrella's tarot cards in Mario + Rabbids Kingdom Battle is described as being a bringer of "famine, death, poverty, sickness and no dessert after supper."
• Mass Effect 2:
  • After recruiting the criminal, Jack, there's a hilarious subversion as you ask her about the crimes she's committed. Part of her answer: "Murder, assault, kidnapping, drugs, stealing, arson. Done it all. And that was the boring shit. Piracy, theft of military craft, destruction of a space station, and vandalism. That was a good one." Turns out the vandalism was crashing that space station into a moon and making a crater out of a hanar holy site. The hanar really liked that moon.
  • If you rescue workers in Dantius Towers while looking for Thane, one of them will send you an email telling you how he felt inspiration as he saw Thane moving with grace and power like a dancer. He finishes by telling you he's also going to buy some nice clothes.
• Dr. Dabble from Math Blaster Mystery: The Great Brain Robbery is wanted for "grand larceny and non-payment of electric bill."
• The MO of the Space Pirates from Metroid: kill those who get in their way, conduct unethical biological experiments to make killer bio-weapons that may or may not obey them, take any interesting tech/stuff that isn't bolted down and use/reverse engineer it for their own benefit... even if it means stealing doorway technology.
• Monkey Island 2: LeChuck's Revenge:
  • A wanted list starts off by listing Guybrush Threepwood for murder and some various petty crimes. As you progress through the game, the list becomes more and more ridiculous, including cheating at a spitting contest, vandalizing a public library's lighthouse model, and stealing a pet rat.
  • When Guybrush applies for a library card, and is asked to list his vices, the player's options are "jaywalking", "nose-picking", and "murder, arson, thievery, that sort of thing."
• In My Little Investigations, when the Cutie Mark Crusaders tried to get their cutie marks in interpretive dance, they set a tiger loose, Rarity's mane was on fire, and Opalescence was stuck in a tree.
• Neverwinter Nights: Hordes of the Underdark, in one of the lines where Deekin is writing his book: "And the mighty hero crept into the mage's tower, ready for anything! Magic, demons, mazes, vicious bread puddings... well, okay, maybe not bread puddings..."
• In Octopath Traveler, Tressa is terrified of "ghosts, thunder, and debts".
• In Octopath Traveler II, the end of the Winterbloom route of Castti's second chapter features a travel banter where Throné complains about Greg. After all the trouble he caused during the chapter, Throné says that he's cheeky, selfish, whiny, and cowardly... and he has a pretentious haircut.
• In Oh...Sir!! The Insult Simulator, you can potentially start your insult with "Your sister is old and will die soon" and end it with "Your math teacher never watched Star Wars".
• Invoked by Overkill Software as part of their "FBI Files" update for PAYDAY 2, where — amongst other things — they added a subsection on their site where you can look up the FBI dossier your chosen character has. You'll see the expected crimes (e.g. first-degree murder, destruction of private property, arson, and grand theft auto)... but in addition to that, you might find entries such as littering, disturbing the peace, maritime irregularity, and, yes, jaywalking.
• In Persona 5 Royal, we have this bit from May 30:
  Kasumi: What were all the crimes I'd heard? Burglary, murder, and... elephant tusk trafficking, was it?
  Protagonist: [possible option] I drive without a license, too.^note This is technically true, given what Morgana can turn into.
  Kasumi: [giggle] Even I can tell you're joking.
• In Phoenix Wright: Ace Attorney: Justice for All, unlucky cop Maggey Byrde explains that her life has been a constant string of disasters, giving examples of falling from a nine-story building at six months old, constantly getting sick from various foods, being hit by all manner of vehicles, failing nearly every test she's ever attempted, and never winning or even tying at a game of Tic-Tac-Toe.
• Quoth PC Gamer's Must Not Buy list: "Plumbers Don't Wear Ties is a shallow, hateful waste of a game, and may very well be responsible for having killed the 3DO, interactive fiction, and the whale."
• In Pokémon Platinum, when the player encounters Team Galactic for the first time as they are confronting Rowan and his assistant:
  Professor Rowan: Quiet, you lot! Why must you be such a nuisance? Let me list some lessons you still need to learn. #1: Don't loiter about for no good reason. #2: Don't interrupt others while they are attempting to converse. #3: If you don't get your way, don't raise your voice to be intimidating. #4: Don't think you've grown strong just because you're in a group. #5: What is with those outlandish outfits you have on?
• Poptropica: Most of the prisoners on Pelican Rock are sentenced to years in prison because of more trivial things like copyright infringement. Some have robbed banks or are rather aggressive, but that's about it.
• Portal offers us this little quote...
  GLaDOS: I'm going to kill you. And all the cake is gone.
  • "You're not a scientist! You're not a doctor! You're not even a full-time employee!"
• Psychonauts: In "Black Velvetopia", Razputin eventually learns "Lampita" and "Dingo" are warped memories of Edgar Teglee's high school ex-girlfriend and the male cheerleader she dumped him for. Edgar, still mad at the pain they put him through, rants "They took my happiness! My life! The state semi-finals! ''Everything!"'"
• In Puzzle Clubhouse Episode 0, the ice cream flavors offered by Guardian of the Forbidden Maze of Welcoming are "Cyanide, Decapitation, or... Cookie Dough."
• Radio Shack once published a variant of Mastermind for the TRS-80 named Quick, Watson!. In this game, you have to determine which of 4 criminals committed each of 4 crimes: assault, felony theft, arson, and parking in front of a fire hydrant.
• Quest for Glory IV: When you restore the Rusalka's memory of how she had died, she says that her lover had treated her like his property, and drowned her when she disagreed. (At this point, though, she doesn't even remember his name, Janos.) After summoning and defeating Janos' ghost, you can tell the Rusalka about it; if so, she'll tell you that he also had bad breath.
• Ratchet & Clank:
  • In the intro of Ratchet & Clank: Going Commando, Fizzwidget claims that Ratchet's commando training will include being taught martial arts, heavy weaponry, survival skills, stealth, macrame, ballroom dance, and origami.
  • In Ratchet & Clank: Up Your Arsenal, one of the PA announcements in Nefarious's weapons factory on planet Daxx begins with "Are you looking for an exciting career in building security, execution, or VCR repair?"
  • A PA announcement at Zeldrin Starport says "Welcome to Zeldrin Starport. Due to increased security, thermonuclear warheads and nail clippers are no longer permitted as carry-on baggage." This is a spoof of a real life case where a woman had the file on her nail clippers broken off by overzealous airport security.
  • In Ratchet: Deadlocked, Vox News reporters list some of Ratchet's supposed crimes: "the destruction of civic property, illegal hoverbike gangs, inadequate dental hygiene".
  • In Ratchet & Clank Future: A Crack in Time, the items on Nefarious's to-do list for when he has the Great Clock under his control are to betray the remaining Valkyries and retire Lord Vorselon, reestablish his vendetta against organic lifeforms, and iron his socks.
  • When you fight Commander Argos on Morklon in the past, he rants that he's survived three galactic wars, withstood hours of Jargonian needle torture, and endured an entire season of Two and a Half Blargs.
• In Rayman 2: The Great Escape, the Grolgoth can "kill, crush, torture, destroy, pull ears..."
• Similarly in Rayman 3: Hoodlum Havoc, the Knaaren wanting to harm Rayman by various means:
  "Tear off his flesh! Skin him! Fresh brain! Crush his bones! Stick bamboo under his fingernails! ...Make him write bad cheques!"
• The reaper in RuneScape is known by three names: Death, Destroyer of Life, and Harold.
  • When Durial321 went on a player-killing rampage after a bug allowed him to kill players outside of PvP areas and minigames, he was equipped with Ahrim's, a fire cape, obsidian shield, abyssal whip, and a green partyhat.
  • Though for those outside of Rune Scape's loop, party hats, in green and other colors, are one of the rarest and most coveted items in the game, with their trade worth reaching past the 2,147 billion gold cap.
• Sam & Max: Freelance Police:
  • In Sam & Max Hit the Road, the sign read "Guns, Liquor, Baby Needs."
  • In Sam & Max Save the World, the front of Bosco's store mentions that he sells things such as "guns, meat, beer, and candy."
    • The intro to Abe Lincoln Must Die (Season 1, Episode 4). The hypnotized President is passing even more silly laws than usual, which Max doesn't seem to mind. Until.
      Sam: And he's introducing mandatory gun registration!!
      Max: *Revealing his gun* Get the keys.
• In Saints Row 2, the activity FUZZ lets you take the role of a police officer. To arrest (actually beating down) offenders of, lets just say, at the first level, purse snatcher, drunk, and a litterer.
  • Near the beginning of the game, Johnny Gat is in court for "387 counts of murder, and one count of attempted murder".
• And in Saints Row: The Third, the news report following the mission "Party Time" explains that said mission resulted in multiple deaths and a noise complaint filed by a neighbor.
  • In the DLC mission pack "Gangstas in Space", Jenny Jaros says this about crazed Jerkass director Andy Zhen before she snaps and kills him.
    Jenny: I'm tired of him trying to kill us, I'm tired of him being mean, and I'm tired of his stupid fucking scarf!
• In Saints Row IV, one of the unlockable homies is Veteran Child, Shaundi's ex from Saints Row 2. Shaundi won't be too happy if you take both him and her along with you.
  Veteran Child: C'mon, if we're gonna work together you have to get over...
  Shaundi: Get over what?! That you tried to kill my friends? That you used me as a human shield? Or that you threw my Feed Dogs limited edition vinyl into a fire?!
• In one of the levels in Scribblenauts, you must find a way to take to Heaven three people at the gates of Hell. The people in question are a prisoner, a bully, and a lawyer.
• In Sakura Wars: So Long, My Love "All right you! You're under arrest for bank robbery and blind stupidity."
• The Simpsons Hit & Run: In Level 3, a mission involves Lisa Simpson working with Chief Wiggum to spy on professional criminal Snake to witness his three violations in accordance with the new "Three Strikes Law"; the crimes they witness are, in order, counterfeit designer jeans ("The foulest of all crimes"), running over an old person without a license, "and strike three: littering."
• Slime Rancher 2: The Slimepedia says Yolky Slime's plorts are high in vitamin D, making them perfect diet supplements for people who spend a lot of time in the dark, such as cosmic pioneers, deepsea divers, and gamers.
• Sonic the Hedgehog:
  • Inverted in Sonic Colors, when Dr. Eggman gives his copyright notice, he provides these rules:
    Dr. Eggman: All unauthorized photography, video reproduction, or shutting down of generators is strictly prohibited. Thank you.
  • Played straight in Sonic Lost World, during the cutscene where the Deadly Six turn against Dr. Eggman:
    Dr. Eggman: "I hone your abilities, I equip you with the most powerful mechs I can create, I even give you a giant sandwich, and you still disappoint me!"
• SOON: Atlas describing the Bad Future to teen!Atlas.
  teen!Atlas: So...what's it like then?
  Atlas: [sad] Uh... Pretty terrible actually. Global warming did a lot of damage before it got stopped, there's been famine and war and evil robot overlords... [frown] And I never even got tenure!
  teen!Atlas: ...
• South Park: The Fractured but Whole: During the first night, Coon and Friends find out that there's a Nebulous Criminal Conspiracy in town and that it includes pulling all the crime families in town together: the Italians, the Russians, the Chinese, and the Sixth Graders.
• In SPY Fox 2: Some Assembly Required, the "evil nemesis" of SpyCorps is S.M.E.L.L.Y, the Society for Meaningless Evil, Larceny, Lying, and Yelling.
• Lord Grathan from Star Wars: The Old Republic is described by quest giver Captain Bryn as being a "Mad Scientist" type. Likes weapons. Cyborgs. Droids. Ergonomic chairs."
• In Strawberry Vinegar, when the takoyaki Rie and Licia get at the festival lacks octopus:
  Licia: He will rue the day that he decided to trick us! Murder and arson are in a category of their own, but when a mere human thinks they can meddle around with food for a bit of money, that's truly unforgivable!
• In Disney's stunt-pilot flight sim Stunt Island, if you crashed, you'd wake up in the hospital where the doctor would read off a random list of injuries, always ending with something trivial. Example: "You have a broken leg, a concussion, eight broken ribs, and bad breath. We'll have you patched up and flying again... tomorrow."
• In Suikoden II, Viktor delivers one as his last taunt for Neclord.
  Viktor: Heh, I'll make sure you never make that stupid grin again! I'll chop you up! Grind you up! Cut you into pieces! Dry you on the sun! Bury you to the ground! Piss on you! Then I'll dig you up! Pull you! Stretch you! Drag you around! And then... and then... in any case, I'll never forgive you!!
• Superliminal: In one of the hallways, there is a list of the days of the week, with "Murder" listed for Monday-Saturday, but Sunday says "Beans."
• In Super Mario Galaxy 2, when Bowser is defeated for the final time, he remarks "My powers...gone... My empire...shrinking.... My huge cake...never got a slice..."
• A commercial for Super Mario Kart, emphasizing the combat aspects of the racing game, features an irate traffic cop who has apparently pulled over one of the racers. The list of offenses runs thus: "Let's see... you were doing 140 in a 35 zone... sideswiped three cars... I believe this bumper belongs to you... destruction... carnage... oh, and you didn't use your turn signal, son. I'm gonna have to write you up for that last one." This was also used in a commercial for Stunt Racer FX (so called because it used the FX chip) for the SNES in the early '90s.
• In Tales of Vesperia, Karol asks Yuri why the knights are after him. "Murder? Arson? Kidnapping? Fraud?"(something like that) "Uhm, it's really just for jailbreak..."
• The Announcer from Team Fortress 2 is NOT pleased with your performance. "All you ever do is disappoint and betray me! Cheating! Stealing! Friend-making!"
  • On the information page for the Decoy map for Mann Vs. Machine mode the Soldier writes that the robots are smarter than them, stronger than them, and they can make toast. The last part is because, this being the Soldier, he stared at a toaster for three months.
  • On the page for the 2013 Halloween event in the section introducing the spellbook item, it lists that the books are bound in human skin, written in human blood, and covered in tiny human hairs.
• Teacher Feature:
  Welcome to the world of St. Borogrund's School — a world of intrigue, mystery, deceit, and excruciatingly bad dinners.
• Thief: Deadly Shadows: Garrett's rap sheet in Paveslock Prison. It's five times the length of anyone else's, includes "breaking and entering, burglary, trespassing, possession of stolen property, resisting arrest, assault of a City Watch officer, assault of another City Watch officer," and goes on like that for some time before concluding with "verbal assault of an officer".
• Level three of Viking Brothers:
  Villager: Savages destroyed our bridge, ate everything in sight, and made us tell them stories at spear-point before they went to sleep!
• The priest in Warcraft III says this warning about magic: "Side effects may include dry mouth, nausea, vomiting, water retention, painful rectal itch, hallucination, dementia, psychosis, coma, death, and halitosis. Magic is not for everyone. Consult your doctor before use."
• Wizard101: The Monstrology tome for the Hallowe'en Trickster states that "in everlasting undeath, he haunts towers and hands out mini raisin boxes on Hallowe'en."
• From the free doujin Fighting Game Wonderful World, we have Sabe's backstory:
  A high-ranking demon living in hell. His hobbies include going above ground to smash up villages every once in a while. Several years ago, a certain swordsman cut out both of his eyes. However, even without his eyes, he can somehow see. He is the one who taught Lunathia dirty words.
• In The World Ends with You, Reaper Sport 1 is Russian Roulette. Reaper Sport 2 is Hide-and-Seek, though number 1 comes from a guy who got the others wrong. Then again, Reaper Sport 3 is a Player Hunt, while Reaper Sport 4 is Tag. So he may not be far off.
• World of Warcraft:
  • In the Northern Barrens, an orc running a caravan trading post complains that plainstriders are stupid, they can't fight, and they break the axles of her wagons. But her greatest problem seems to be that they are gamey.
  • The list of crimes on Gorkak Skullcrusher's sinstone in Revendreth: Coward, Liar, Traitor, and Singer. Since singing was considered a crime just as heinous where he came from, though, this is actually a subversion.
• In Yet Another Damn Fantasy Adventure bodies are nailed to the walls of King Bloodheart's castle. If you examine them:
  You count 115 in total. They have words branded into their foreheads indicating their crimes: MURDERER, THIEF, ART CRITIC... and so on.
• Level 21 of Zombie Solitaire 2: Chapter One:
  The dark forest lies in front of you. Your heart's beating like mad. Who knows what dangers might await you in there? Zombie werewolves? Killer bunnies? Bloodthirsty boars? Blisters?
• A few meta examples:
  • In this review of the "Chintendo" KenSingTon Vii, Stuart Ashen makes some positive notes in its attractive packaging and that a few of the packaged games are actually worth playing. He detracts the substandard build quality, most of the games being unplayable and that it cost him a small fortune, but what pushed him to score it 0/10 is that they forgot to package a handstrap for the remote.
  • It happens backstage too. After a recent load test on the Openlife Virtual World the staff reported that the script engine had problems with facelights, shoes, and "horse parts." (While the first two are quite popular with many players, there is only one equine avatar on the grid.)

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