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Quotes / TV Tropes Will Ruin Your Life

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Addendum 4445-02: Recent data suggest a correlation between prolonged exposure to SCP-4445 and marked psychological changes in the subject. These include:

Mild to moderate dependence,
Diminished ability to enjoy popular fiction, mostly due to:
Limited clairvoyance (After exposure to SCP-4445, subjects can successfully predict the endings of media to which they have had no prior exposure.)
Tendency to lapse into impenetrable jargon,
Diminished ability to distinguish between fiction and reality.

These symptoms abate with psychological counseling and the cessation of exposure to SCP-4445. (Claims from the subjects that this SCP "will ruin your life" are presumed to be hyperbole.) Nevertheless, all personnel recruited via this channel are strongly encouraged to forgo further exposure.

I curse you for sending me into the timesink that is TV Tropes.
This forum post

I just want to say to you guys: Get out of my head! Thanks to the amount of time I've spent here, it's been months since I was able to sit down and watch a movie or TV show without knowing by the first commercial break, every major event that was going to happen in the plot.
Red Shoe

Abandon free time all ye who enter here.

"Do you know the end? Did Mom tell you that Fox is—"
"Oh, shit," Jeremy's father interrupts. "They killed Fox?"
That's the problem with being a writer, Jeremy knows. Even the biggest and most startling twists are rarely twists for you. You know how every story goes.
Magic for Beginners by Kelly Link

I need to consume more of your time than this comic alone can do. Here, have a link to TV Tropes. And another one. And another for good measure. Bwahahahahah!

Warning: this site is fascinating and will eat hours of your time.
Phil Foglio, Girl Genius, Extra Fun (providing a link in the process)

Fifteen minutes into a TV Tropes voyage I realized my peril and managed to claw free.
Shamus Young

Hmmm. Well, I have to say that both sides have a point but oooooh Small Name, Big Ego never seen that one before click click click click click AUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUGH.
judyhazeleyes of fandom_wank demonstrates the usual process


queenanthai on scans_daily

The TVtropes QC page is every single idiotic comment from my forums distilled into one HTML document.
Jeph Jacques

Somewhere on the TV Tropes Wiki is a theory that Bill and Ted are Time Lords, but I'm not going to provide a link because that would involve entering the TVTropes Wiki, and it might be months before I came out again.

Just tell her parents you weren't watching her because you were editing TVTropes. They'll understand.

TV Tropes must be the only wiki where I can start off looking at Doctor Who and end up with advice over what gun I should buy.

The main reason to avoid putting something incorrect or unrealistic-looking in a TV show or film is that it disrupts people's suspension of disbelief ... [but] the only people whose ability to suspend their disbelief might suffer are those who work in TV—and they will have lost that ability long ago. When they watch telly, all they can see is the work that's gone into it and the mistakes. It's like taking an Egyptian slave on a tour of the pyramids—he doesn't marvel, he just gets sympathy backache.
David Mitchell

If you read TV Tropes
So much that you're addicted
Don't be surprised if you lose your job
And then are soon evicted


The world is forever spawning Damned Things—things that are neither tree nor shrub, fish nor fowl, black nor white—and the categorical thinker can only regard the spiky and buzzing world of sensory fact as a profound insult to his card-index system of classifications. Worst of all are the facts which violate "common sense" that dreary bog of sullen prejudice and muddy inertia. The whole history of science is the odyssey of a pixilated card-indexer perpetually sailing between such Damned Things and desperately juggling his classifications to fit them in.
Hagberd Celiene of the Illuminatus! trilogy on TV Tropes

Go ahead, wreck your life,
That might be good,
Who can say what's wrong or right?
Nobody can.
They Might Be Giants, "Spiraling Shape"

N Tom 64: I think it's one "prophecy/seeing into the future-type of event" per person.
The Helldragon: Or some trope like that, I don't know, I don't know. We'll check TV Tropes after this and we'll find out.
N Tom 64: Don't go on there; you'll never leave.
The Helldragon: [Commentary for the movie] ...Yeah, TVTropes. You get on there; prepare to stay awhile.

A TV Tropes article links here. Kiss your free time goodbye.
A 1d4chan article on More Dakka

Last thing I remember, I was
Running for the door
I had to find the passage back
To the place I was before
"Relax," said the night man,
"We are programmed to receive.
You can check out any time you like,
But you can never leave!"
Eagles, "Hotel California"

TV Tropes is a veritable black hole of hyperlinks, each leading further into the center of oblivion. The entire site is made up of a community that spends its life collecting patterns and commonalities between fictional worlds. It applies names to every plot device, every story arc and every cinematic tool ever captured by a camera and then links them to one another. The result is like being in the mind of a paranoid schizophrenic deciphering hidden codes in newspapers. Clicking on one link will ensure that you click on another, and another until you have lost your way back home and forgotten who you are.
Cracked columnist Soren Bowie, "Charybdis"

There are two things about the book that make it purest evil: the first is that anyone can add to it, so it's always changing and growing larger. The second is that every entry contains several references to other cleverly-named tropes, and touching one of those names sends you to an explanation of that trope's name, complete with references to other tropes...and at some point you look up and see you're eight years older than when you started.
Kingdom of Loathing, "Tome Of Tropes" encounter

Oh dear, you've found TV Tropes. Expect to lose years of your life mindlessly clicking on links. Seriously, what's with that site?
jimj316 talking to this troper, Nifflas Support Forum

Quotidian Torture, Pharyngula

During Lost, after writing scripts and editing episodes all day, it was nearly impossible for me to come home and watch scripted television without my critical brain kicking in. Instead of being caught up in the narrative, I could see only what was underneath—the blueprints and building materials.

Death Note is (at least the first half) a truly excellent story, but when you put it as Tropey McTropeface finds a Droppytrope and TropeyAngel Tropes him into Troping a Trope Trope along with LoliTrope and NoNameTrope Trope the Trope, well.. it kind of loses something in the translation, you know?

You might check out TV Tropes and think "Hey, this isn't a single-serving site, this is an amazing resource that I'll come back to again and again!"
Well it's not. The diabolic thing about TV Tropes is that any actual utility is an illusion—your life will never be enriched because you know what a Woobie is, or who the members of a Five-Man Band are. It's an elaborately designed trap, meant to capture all your free time.
Therefore, go once, waste a day, and then never look back. You'll thank us later.
Alex Castle, Maximum PC's "100 Websites To See Before You Die (Part 1)"note 

Linking to TV Tropes?
Why not just throw the readers into a bottomless pit?
Caution: Entering TVTropes should be attempted only if you have the proper gear. I suggest tying a strong guide rope to a tree near the entrance and attaching the other end to your waist—bring along a blind man with instructions to remind you after thirty minutes to quit reading and get back to work. Said blind man should be armed with a cudgel to help persuade you to return.
Board Admin of Often Inspired commenting on someone linking to TVTropes during NaNoWriMo

Is the snake an example of the "Insurmountable Waist-Height Fence"? *sigh* I've been to Tv Tropes too many times.
—Comment by YouTube user BigGator5 on a Let's Play video of King's Quest V: Absence Makes the Heart Go Yonder! here.note 

NB: If you follow the link to TV Tropes, I am not responsible for the approximate 4.5 hours of productive time you will lose. K?

Aurini: ...Heh, this might be worth a top level post except tvtropes has covered it all already.
Eliezer_Yudkowsky: The most rationalist-relevant TV Tropes would easily be worth a top post or three.
JulianMorrison: You'd lose your whole crop of rationalists. They would never come back out.

Don't click. Click and you're dead. It is vast. Vaster than you can imagine. Don't scroll down, don't move your mouse, and DON'T CLICK.
The Doctor

The internet was out for ten minutes, so I spent some time with my family. They seem like nice people.
Internet posting

Oh, a link to TV TROPS!
Dragirby, comment on this Know Your Meme post.

Anonymous: "How come my class period ended? Oh yeah, I was on TV Tropes."
Teacher: "You realize school's been over for an hour, right?
Anonymous: "FUCK."
— Anonymous story

"Hey Dad, could you - oh, you're on TV Tropes. Never mind."
—Real quote from Pittsburghmuggle's teenage daughter, coming into the room to ask him something, 2013. Became his Troper Page's page quote.

why don't I visit TV tropes, she said I need it for a column, she said It won't take more than a minute, she said

reynard61: It’s a fairy tale. You should really just relax… (link to MST3K Mantra)
Francisco: Links to TV Tropes need warnings. (winking emoticon)
redhairsword: The fact that it’s a link to TV Tropes is the only warning you’re going to get, I’m afraid. (frowning emoticon) The first time I found TV Tropes, I stayed up all night long and into the next day with no sleep. That’s not normal, but on TV Tropes it is. TV Tropes: Not even once.
Comments for a Erstwhile comic (spelling and punctuation corrected).

From a XKCD forum thread discussing the "Tab Explosion" comic:
The Girl Who Stole The Hat Guy's Hat: Screw it, I'm going on there. I will update later to say if I have become addicted yet. Edit: GODDAMN YOU!!!!!!!!! Not even 15 minutes later, and I already have six tabs open!!!!!!!!!!! Edit: an hour and a half later, I'm out. I closed all the tabs I had open and now I'm never going back there again.
Dragon Hawk: You can't get away that easily. TV Tropes is calling your name. You can hear it. It has you now. Moowhohahahahahah!!!

TV Tropes may ruin your life, but at least they're honest about it.

Mechwarrior: (Posts a link to Hollywood Homely)
Fae Rei: Well, there goes the rest of my afternoon.
Ronald M Bisnett: Just your afternoon?

"Those are some cow tools. Don't ask me to explain what cow tools are, I'll give you a link to TV Tropes, and you'll be gone for a week."

"Make it fast. I've got a full day of quoting from TV Tropes instead of forming my own opinions."