Quotes / Rock Bottom

"Where do we go?
Where do we go?
Where do we go-o-o from here?"

— UFO, "Rock Bottom"

Mario: Take it easy, Luigi. Things could be worse.
Luigi: We're trapped in a dungeon about to be executed! How could things be any worse?!
Mario: Well, for one thing, the ceiling could lower, until it flattens us like a pizza.
[cue Descending Ceiling]
Toad: Very uncool, dudes. The ceiling is lowering!
Mario: (calmly) Or the room could fill with water until we all drown like rats.
[Water starts flooding in]
Princess Toadstool: We gotta get outta here!
Mario: Hey, I can think of another way things could be worse!
Luigi: (covering Mario's mouth) Mario, please! Don't say another word!

—The Super Mario Bros. Super Show!, "King Mario of Cramalot"

"That's one of the remarkable things about life. It's never so bad that it can't get worse."

— Calvin

Eli Wallace: Well, this couldn't get much worse.
Nicholas Rush: I'm afraid that's a failure of imagination.

— Stargate Universe

Zexion: Huh? Namine? Sho is a werepire and is attacking you? And Axel doesn't care that you're all gonna get ripped to shreds and eaten. Well at least it can't get any worse.
[Cut to two werepires appearing in front of Namine.]
Namine: Oh, you dickhead!

— Ansem Retort

"Things can't possibly get any worse! (runs into Butch and Woim wearing just underwear) Oh, then the clouds opened up and God said, "I hate you, Alfalfa!"

— Alfalfa, The Little Rascals

Once you hit rock bottom, grab a shovel and dig.

— Anon

Deborah: Then how about if you come up with something that does make sense? And, like, right now? Because I don't see how this could get much worse.
Dexter (in his head): If life teaches us anything, it is to flinch away and role under the furniture whenever anyone is foolish enough to utter those fell words. And sure enough, the dreadful syllables were merely out of Deborah's mouth when the phone on her desk buzzed for her attention, and some small and rather nasty voice whispered in my ear that this would be a great time to wedge myself under the desk in the foetal position.

— Dexter By Design

"What to do if you find yourself stuck in a crack in the ground underneath a giant boulder you can't move, with no hope of rescue. Consider how lucky you are that life has been good to you so far. Alternatively, if life hasn't been good to you so far, which given your current circumstances seems more likely, consider how lucky you are that it won't be troubling you much longer."

— The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy (1978)

"We currently have the longest playoff drought in the league. We were horrible for 90% of our existence. The greatest player in team history is a sociopathic murderer who will likely spend the rest of his life in prison. An 80s rock star is actively trying to relocate the team to Fucking Toronto."

—"Why Your Team Sucks 2014: Buffalo Bills"

Kate doesn’t have a TV show anymore, so people can’t scream:

CANCEL THAT BITCH’S SHOW!!!!!!!!

Kate doesn’t have a job at Coupon Cabin anymore, so people can’t scream:

FIRE HER!!!!

And Kate’s team of nannies probably take care of her kids most of the time, so people can’t really scream:

TAKE HER POOR CHILDREN AWAY!!!

So what are we supposed to say? "PUSH HER OFF THE PLANET"?! Yeah, I like that one the best.

—Michael K.

"OK, so here we are at Day One, with everyone trying to figure out how to make this dead inside former pop diva come to life on a stage in a town that has gifted the world with 300,000 performances of Wayne Newton doing 'Danke Schoen.' Holy crap. These guys would have better luck getting Fiona Apple to duet onstage in a song about abortion rights with Sarah Palin in front of a room filled with Baptist preachers."

—Jezebel, "Britney Spears' Delusional 'Documentary' is a Hot, Glittery Mess"

Vorenus: This isn't the army, brother. We here — we're pimps, knifemen, thieves. You sure you're sunk so low?
Mascius: I walked here from Capua. I slept in ditches. And when I get here, they say a black-hearted villain has taken over the Aventine college. He's in league with the gods below, they say. And his name is Lucius Vorenus. Well I thought to myself, "Mascius, old boy, your luck has changed.".

— Rome

"And I thought it couldn't get any worse than having to pick up Misato's dry cleaning for her. Honestly, could this day possibly get any worse?"

—Makoto, Superwomen of Eva 2: Lone Heir of Krypton

No matter how bad your day gets, one should never ponder if things could get any worse. Because fate simply loves a challenge, and fate never fails to deliver.

—Dead Winter, Page 22

Sokka: Things couldn't get much worse.
(giant serpent pops out of the sea)
Sokka: The universe just loves proving me wrong, doesn't it?
Toph: You make it too easy!

— Avatar: The Last Airbender

I just watched my best friend die in agony. My day can't get any worse.

— The Doctor Doctor Who, "Heaven Sent"^note Unfortunately for him, it can.

You've just queued for three and a half hours to shit out your £8 botulism burger plus most of your innards, having navigated your way through a herd of tripping hippies, and now you are standing, at great personal financial expense, in the pissing rain, approximately four miles from a stage on which there is Rod fucking Stewart. You're living the fucking dream all right, but at least it can't get any worse. But then, here it comes, carried by the chilly breeze, precisely the sort of fucking cunt you came here to get away from, the braying cry of the acid toff: "Tim! Tim!"

—Is It Just Me Or Is Everything Shit?

It had not been a good night for Arthur Septimus Polegrave, who would have been known to his friends, if he had any friends, as "Septic." He knew he was dying. He just knew it. He must be. There couldn't be a single thing in this jungle that hadn't tried to bite, peck or sting him during the last dark soupy hour. There were spiders - giant horrible things, waiting at nose-height on every path - there were the insects, every one armed, by the feel of it with red-hot needles. Things had bitten his ears and climbed up his trousers. Things had trodden on him. In the middle of the night, something horrible had flopped down onto his head, which it had tried to unscrew. As soon as he could see clearly, he would take his chances and make a run for the boat and a getaway. All in all, he thought, as he pulled something with far too many legs out of his ear, things were about as bad as they could get.

There was a rustling in the tree above him, and he looked up just as a well-fed grandfather bird threw up in time for breakfast, and found that he was wrong.

—Nation

Marco: Dad, it's about to get weird.
Marco's Dad: Please. It can't get any weirder.
Marco: Dad, just a suggestion, but when you're dealing with the Animorphs, never say it can't get any weirder. It always does.

—Animorphs #45: The Revelation

"In every film, there's a moment when the hero hits rock bottom. In Cool Runnings, it was when John Candy's prized bobsled broke. In The Human Centipede, it was when those people signed on to be in that movie. But in this film, well, you're looking at it. Rock, meet bottom."

—Wade Wilson, Deadpool 2

The Grand Canal Dragon: You wish to be the hero, but you do not know what a hero is. You think a hero is one who wins. But a hero must be prepared to lose, Quentin. Are you? Are you prepared to lose everything?
Quentin Coldwater: I've already lost everything.
The Grand Canal Dragon: Oh, no. You have so much more left to lose.

—The Magician King

Liam: Could be worse...
Ryder: How? Habitat 7's a bust, we might've started a war with the first aliens we met, and our Pathfinder's dead. This better be rock bottom.

— Mass Effect: Andromeda

Rook: At least things can't get any worse.
Ben: A-are you crazy?! Never say that out loud!

—Ben 10: Omniverse, "Outbreak"