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Funny / Aladdin and the King of Thieves

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"Don't make me use the other end!"

  • After the "There's A Party Here In Agrabah" number ends, Genie still can't stop dancing and partying and shaking his booty for about half a minute, with the crowd staring at him.
    Genie: The party's goin' on now! Gotta party! Gotta party! Help me! I can't stop myself! Somebody rub the lamp! Somebody rub the lamp! Ah, you know I feel it! [sees the crowd staring at him]...Ah...that's enough. (grins sheepishly and strides off)
  • When Cassim introduces himself as the King of Thieves, Genie's Code Red scene is hilariously over-the-top throughout, but the Funny Moment is at the end of the scene, when dozens of Genie clones have surrounded Cassim and are all pointing guns at him:
    Genie: Do not attempt to move, or we'll be shooting ourselves!
    • This masterful Brick Joke:
      Genie: [to Aladdin after he mentions his father] Your father? You never said a word about your father! OH, I HAVE TO LET THE CATERER KNOW! [turns into a waiter] Chicken or sea bass?

      [After Aladdin tells him that Cassim is his father]
      Genie: If you're Al's dad... and the King of Thieves, I just wanna know one thing...
      Cassim: [menacingly] Yeah!?
      Genie: [turns into a waiter] Will you be having the chicken or the sea bass?
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    • During the Code Red, Aladdin rubs his temple while his face shows an expression of utter chagrin and boredom. Clearly at some point he's learned to "just go with it" when Genie goes off on one of these extended bouts of randomness. Iago's feeling the same way, in contrast to Cassim, who's staring on in confusion.
    • The Genies jumping out of the plane.
  • Genie's bit where he tries to cheer up Jasmine. All of it. It starts off with a Mrs. Doubtfire shout-out, and goes on from there. Also doubles as a Heartwarming Moment. Even better? This scene was improvised by Robin Williams, in much the same way he improvised much of Genie's dialogue in the first film.
    Genie: [as Chico Marx] Hey, that's-a no good! What this wedding needs is a theme!
    Genie: [as Groucho Marx] Needs a groom too, but let's work with what we have!
    Jasmine: Genie!
    Genie: It's a joke! [deadpan] I do that.
  • When the 40 thieves are leaving the pavilion, the walls around Genie crash.
    Genie: Ooh! [looks around nervously] This is not my fault! [while everything else collapses behind him] This was not built to code!
    Iago: [to the Sultan] Good luck gettin' back the catering deposit.
    • Then when Genie offers to help rebuild the pavilion:
    [Jasmine and Sultan look at the wreckage]
    Sultan: Oh, my...
    Genie: Fear not, O Father of the Bride, we can rebuild! [turns into a construction worker with a muscular chest, which then "falls" and becomes a flabby belly instead]
    Sultan: Oh, please, do! We can't have a wedding without a pavilion!
    Genie: [writing on a clipboard] Alright, a wedding pavilion it is, my man! [turns Iago, Abu and Carpet into construction workers. Iago is eating a donut, Abu is drinking coffee, and Carpet reading a newspaper.] Hey, I wanna see some resumés on these guys. And don't let the one with the beak near any power tools. [drill sounds]
    Sultan: Yes, yes, Genie. Whatever it takes. I am sorry about all this, Jasmine. (Jasmine's gone) Daughter?
  • You know what? Any scene with Genie is going to have a funny moment. Robin Williams really steals the show in this movie! Behold: this and this!
  • This exchange after Aladdin returns to Agrabah with Cassim.
    Aladdin: Looks like Genie has everything ready.
    Cassim: “Genie”? You have a genie? Have you used all three wishes yet?!
    Iago: Oh please, don’t go into it. It’s just too painful...
  • "You have violated the perimeter of the Aladdin and Jasmine Wedding. Prepare to be vaporized. Thank you!"
  • This gem as Aladdin decides to disguise himself as the King of Thieves to break his father out, ignoring Genie's protests.
    Aladdin: The Oracle was right. My dad was trapped in the world of the Forty Thieves. Trapped by his own greed. I was so stupid to think I could change him!
    Genie: Trying to show your dad a better life wasn't stupid, Al! Leaving him alone with the parrot, that was stupid.
    Aladdin: Everything was perfect before he came into my life. I just want things the way they were. Genie, I need my father's clothes.
    Genie: A-A-Al, what, did you wrap the turban too tight? Come on, why would you wanna dress in the 'King of Thieves' ensemble? (poofs up Cassim's blue cloak; Aladdin takes it) Might I suggest something that doesn't actually say (wearing black and white prisoner uniform) "ARREST ME!"
    Aladdin: (wearing Cassim's outfit) It fits. Good.
    Genie: (as Oracle) I'm seeing... I'm seeing... NOTHING for your future if you dress like this!
    Aladdin: I'm breaking my father out of the dungeon. The guards'll never know I was there. Tonight, the King of Thieves will make his most miraculous escape ever...out of my life! (leaves)
    Genie: ...It's the cape talking, isn't it?
  • Iago and Abu's usual interactions.
    Cassim: We never harm the innocent.
    Iago: Uh, for future reference, I'm as innocent as the day I was hatched!
    Abu: [clearly trying to say "Oh, brother!"]
  • Genie trying to throw a bachelor party for Aladdin.
    Aladdin: There's still one thing I need.
    Genie: I gotcha! [turns into a stripper popping out of a cake] It's a BACHELOR PARTY, big boy! [snatches a mug of what's clearly supposed to be beer out of the Carpet's tassel] None for you! You're the designated flyer!
  • Genie Trying Not to Cry at the wedding… and failing miserably.
    Genie: It’s all… so magical. I’m not gonna cry, I’m not… (promptly bursts into tears, then uses Carpet as a tissue. He quickly realizes what he’s doing, and pulls away) Oh! Sorry.
    • This then leads to a Brick Joke at the end; When Aladdin and Jasmine finally get hitched after everything they’ve gone through, Genie is of course tearing up again. He reaches and grabs Carpet, and right before he blows his nose again on him, Carpet grabs a handkerchief and holds it out to Genie.
  • How utterly reluctant Iago is to be a part of embarking on Aladdin's adventure
    Iago: I should've stayed with the Genie! Manual labor beats danger any day!
    Aladdin: We've got 'em trapped!
    Iago: We?! They are forty thieves! We are you, a rug, a monkey, and me! Wait, don't count me.
    • Then when the gang is inside the Lair, Iago and Abu back into each other, and they roll down and fall into a puddle.
    Iago: You wanna not hold up traffic? I wanna get in, get out, and go home! Actually, I wouldn't mind skipping right to the "go home"...
  • During the Thieves' raid starting with the chubby thief trying to shove an elephant. Sa'luk pushes the guy aside and takes it from there.
    Sa'Luk: Let me be the point man! (jabs the elephant in the butt)
    (Cut to the wedding pavilion, shaking violently)
    • During the chaos, Genie saves Abu from getting smashed by the elephants.
    Genie: Come here, monkey boy! You were almost Dumbo toe jam! (Another elephant walks over Carpet) Oh, they trampled the Carpet! That's a little redundant. So, this isn't really a bad day for you, is it?
    • Then Genie confronting the Thieves during the chaos also counts as a Moment of Awesome. First, he multiplies himself into a an army of Ninja-Genies, sending many thieves whining for their mommies.
    • Then he picks up an elephant and uses him as gun (the elephant's face is priceless).
    Genie: FREEZE, SANDBAGS! (cocks elephant's trunk like a gun) Don't make me use the other end!
    (Wind comes out of the trunk, blowing several thieves away. The elephant's trunk deflates and Genie puts the elephant down)
    • Then Genie uses his powers against more thieves zapping them in the butt
    Sa'luk: Cassim said nothing about facing the powers of a Genie! Get the others out of here! We'll leave the King to his plans!
  • Instead of fleeing when the forty thieves break up the wedding, Iago actively defends the gifts from Cassim, wielding a vase like a bat. Greed was probably his main motive. Also counts as a Moment of Awesome.
    Iago: Meet your match, Zorro!
    Cassim: Good birdie... Polly want a—
    Iago: [interrupting] Say "cracker" and I'll let you have it on principle!
    (Iago swings three times at Cassim, who simply grabs the parrot)
    Cassim: You have a lot of spirit. (stuffs Iago into a nearby vase)
    Iago: Ow! Hey! Hey! Let me out!
    Cassim: And a lot of mouth.
    • Later while Al wrestles with Cassim over the Oracle staff, he kicks the vase with Iago in it to a wall, shattering it, leaving Iago in a very dizzy, staggering, and moaning state.
  • When the Oracle is introduced and Iago wonders why the Thieves wanted the staff, and it answers. It says she can only answer "one" question. Iago's arguing with her when she mentions the "ultimate treasure" is priceless!
    Jasmine: What were they after, the gifts?
    Aladdin: Not all the gifts. This is what the King of Thieves wanted. (Holds up the mysterious staff he wrestled from the King of Thieves during the chaos)
    Iago: With all the other great stuff in here, why go for this thing?
    (Suddenly, a blinding light emerges from the staff and it floats out of Al's hand. A voice rings out as a visage of a woman appears in the air)
    Oracle: Your question is mine to answer! The King of Thieves sought my sight to find the Ultimate Treasure.
    Iago: Did someone say "treasure?"
    Aladdin: Genie?
    Genie: Hmm...Looks like an Oracle.
    Oracle: I see all that has been, and all that will be.
    Genie: Uh-oh, uh-oh, definitely an Oracle, tells the future, uh-oh. Girlfriend, where were you registered?
    Iago: Okay, you know all, so tell all. Where is the treasure? You know, the ultimate one?
    Oracle: I am bound by the rule of one. One question, one answer.
    Iago: I only want one answer! WHERE IS THE ULTIMATE TREASURE?!
    Oracle: You have already asked your question.
    Iago: You mean before? Oh, uh, that wasn't a question! That was uh...thinking out loud!
    Genie: (grabbing Iago) VERY loud!
  • Iago gets his tail feathers stuck in the Thieves' cave opening.
    Iago: How bad is it? (Iago has his tail feathers stuck in the door)
    Abu: Hmm... (spits on paws then pulls Iago free, but leaves the parrot's tail feather still in the door)
    Iago: YEOW! (looks at his bald tail) Oh, this is attractive!
    (Iago walks back to the cave entrance, pulls his tail feather out, and puts them back on his tail.)
    • In the Swedish dub, Iago basically says something along the lines of "Oh, so Vapor Wear's in fashion."
  • Razoul and his Guards approach the Thieves' hideout. Razoul tries to remember the password and the cave doesn't open. Just as he's about to leave in a fury, one of the guards unwittingly says the correct password.
    Fazal: But, sir, there's nothing here.
    Razoul: Not yet. Open... Caraway!
    (Nothing happens)
    Hakim: There's still nothing here.
    Razoul: (seething with anger) When I get ahold of that no good...
    Fazal: But I thought you said it was... "Open Sesame."
    (the ground suddenly rumbles as the entrance to the 40 Theives' hideout opens; Razoul smirks)
  • When Sa'Luk proclaiming regardless of the fact that Aladdin is Cassim's son he is still an intruder.
    Sa'Luk: Blood or mud, the boy is an intruder and we have rules about intruders. He has found our secret lair. He has seen too much. He must die. (turns to Abu and Iago) They must ALL die!
    Iago: DIE?! He's your son! I'm his friend! CAST A VOTE FOR MERCY HERE!
    Sa'Luk: Yes, Cassim, mercy would be so like you. Soft...and weak!
  • When Sa'luk discovers that Cassim is not in the dungeon with the other thieves..
    (Several thieves are behind bars. A peephole in a wooden door allows them to yell at their betrayer)
    Thieves: You'll pay for this! You sold us out!! (Sa'luk slams the peephole door shut) Ow! My nose!
    Sa'luk: He's not in there! (storms into the next room) You didn't capture the King of Thieves?!
    Razoul: Because he was not at the hideout!
    Sa'luk: He had to be there! Where else would he be?
    Guard: [entering cautiously] Apologies, Captain Razoul.
    Razoul & Sa'luk: WHAT?!
    Guard: Well, the Sultan said that he won't be able to sentence your prisoners until tomorrow.
    Razoul: What's more important than sentencing my prisoners?!
    Guard: Why, the wedding! Princess Jasmine and Aladdin are finally getting married!
    Sa'luk: (grabs the young guard by the shirt) ALADDIN?! You didn't capture Aladdin with the others?!
    Razoul: Why would he be with the Forty Thieves?
    Sa'luk: Because his father is the King of Thieves!
    (Hearing this, Razoul smirks)
  • After Aladdin's fight with Saluk we get one of the best Bait-and-Switch moments in the franchise:
    Cassim: (As fire illuminates them and the rest of the Forty Thieves stare daggers at Aladdin) You killed Saluk... The Code of the Forty Thieves is very clear on this point: You're in.

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