Fanfic / The Lawyers Are Coming! The Lawyers Are Coming!

The Lawyers Are Coming! The Lawyers Are Coming! is an SMG4 fanfiction originally written by CVGW James. It’s his own retelling of the Lawsuit Arc with all sorts of changes and expansions. Join SMG4, Mario, Luigi, and Meggy once again as they fight for their right to make funny meme videos and try to get Nintendo and their copyright policies off their backs.

The first chapter was posted on October 21th, 2022, before finishing on April 7th, 2023 with a total of 40 chapters. It's also the first of the author's SMG4 retellings that he completed, though not the first he started (Mysteries of the Universe holds that honor).

You can read the story on FanFiction.Net here, or on DeviantArt here.

The Lawyers Are Coming! The Lawyers Are Coming! contains examples of:

• Adaptational Explanation:
  • Whereas Meggy only mentioned going to law school "partially" in "SMG4 Gets Sued", she states in Chapter 5 that it was in college when she was an Inkling, which you would remember if you watched "Mario University". And if that was what the original was referring to, then it’s now made clearer.
  • Why is Big Man imprisoning SMG4 and opposing Mario and Meggy during the events of "If Mario Was In... Splatoon 3"? Apparently because someone threatened him to go along with it lest anything bad happened to the rest of Deep Cut.
  • Did you ever wonder why Waluigi wasn't canonized by Lawyer Kong's firewall during "Breaking Luigi" (if he was, he likely wouldn't have set up his taco stand, which does not exist as a Nintendo property)? According to this fic, his rejection powers protect him from the firewall's effects.
  • The reason why SMG2 came back with a coconut in "Goodbye, SMG4" was because he and SMG1 were in the world of Ultra Jump Mania. Apparently, the Super DMCA sends some of its victims to another dimension.
• Adaptational Location Change: Bob was found at (what is presumed to be) Gerudo Valley in "Breaking Luigi". This was changed to Ikana Canyon from The Legend of Zelda: Majora's Mask, since that's the game where Garos originated from.
• Adaptational Mundanity:
  • A lot of Lawyer Kong’s contracts lack the magical powers they had in the original for the desire to make Nintendo’s law firm more realistic. This doesn't apply to the Super DMCA, however.
  • Instead of Luigi magically becoming Walter White during "Breaking Luigi", here he takes off his hat normally, shaves off his mustache and hair, and puts on a fake beard to make him resemble the character. This also means that his hat, hair, and mustache don't reappear when Lawyer Kong takes away his confidence, at least not yet. Again, the author decided this was more realistic.
  • When taking down Frankie's fan project in "Goodbye, SMG4", instead of appearing through his computer, Lawyer Kong calls a team of Nintendo Ninjas to do his dirty work.
• Adaptational Nice Guy: Surprisingly, Lawyer Kong. While he's still the Big Bad of the Lawsuit Arc, this retelling of it gives him a lot of sympathetic qualities that he thoroughly lacked in the original. For starters, while he still blames SMG4 for making their Nintendo characters stupid, he also holds SMG4 accountable for indirectly causing the apocalyptic incidents that happened during the events of the Cosmology Saga, which even almost destroyed Nintendo HQ. Between this reasoning and his brief alliance with the SMG4 crew against Mr. Grizz during the events of "If Mario Was In... Splatoon 3", it's clear that he knows what to do when a world-destroying threat arises. Then, come the events of "[NINTENDO HAS CLAIMED THIS VIDEO]", he's slightly-but-noticeably more intrigued by the game ideas Mario and Luigi propose than he was in the original. He doesn't even slap the parody law contract out of Meggy's hands here.
• Adaptation Deviation:
  • During the events of "If Mario Was In... Splatoon 3", all of Meggy and SMG4's attempts to jog Mario's memory end up fruitless, with showing him memes (unwittingly, mind you) being the only thing that works. This time, however, their attempts at least lead Mario to better recall past adventures with them; all the memes did was finalize the deal.
  • During the montage of Mario defying Nintendo in "Goodbye, SMG4", he no longer tries to commit suicide trying to get away from them. The author justified this decision by saying how it would contradict the lore of the Cosmology Saga.
  • Kirby uses the Star Rod to transport everyone to the challenges for War of the Fat Italians 2022. In the original, they were just... there.
  • On the subject of WOTFI's challenges, they tend to play out differently here than in the source material, usually to prevent deaths. For instance, Wario runs away as Bob tells his life story instead of dying from cringe, and Mario knocks himself out with a bat instead of snapping his own neck in the "respecting peoples' opinions on Twitter" challenge.
  • SMG3 receives his redesign more akin to the one he received in 2023, rather than 2022 like in the original.
• Adaptation Expansion:
  • During the scene that adapts "Mario Can't Play With You Anymore..." where Mario’s gun turns into a Fire Flower, Bowser notes that the only gun he’s familiar with is the Nintendo Zapper. No such thing was mentioned in the original.
  • As Luigi explains to Mario the first signs of Lawyer Kong’s firewall, the former mentions Goombas and Whomps attacking him, as well as Klepto stealing his hat, none of which the original had time for.
  • Lawyer Kong’s Motive Rant from "Mario Can't Play With You Anymore..." is given more context in Chapter 8. He still blames SMG4 and his Guardian Pods for Nintendo characters getting stupid... but he also blames them for inadvertently bringing Zero, a being who tried to destroy their universe in the Genesis Arc, into their midst. Additionally, the meteor shower brought upon by him (actually the God Box... long story) in Revelations almost destroyed Nintendo’s headquarters.
  • We get to see more of Fishy Boopkins' and Bob's behavior as canonized enemies in Super Mario Bros. and The Legend of Zelda, respectively, as well as their reactions when the memes Luigi cooks up reverses said canonization, neither of which "Breaking Luigi" had time for.
  • Mario and Luigi propose more games to Nintendo than they did in "[NINTENDO HAS CLAIMED THIS VIDEO]". For that matter, more SMG4 characters get to participate in them; Tari, Belle, and SMG1 and 2 in particular.
  • The author created new challenges for this fic's depiction of War of the Fat Italians 2022, seemingly for the sake of involving characters that had no contribution to the Lawsuit Arc. These characters include Mr. Monitor, JubJub, and the four aforementioned characters that didn't partake in the proposed Nintendo games.
• Adapted Out:
  • During Mario and Meggy's rescue of SMG4 in "If Mario Was In... Splatoon 3", gone is the pingas launcher. The author removed it because it was "unrealistic".
  • Saul Goodman has been removed from the author's version of "Breaking Luigi", and Luigi instead says "we're done when I say we're done" to Mario.
  • The fic's take on "Goodbye, SMG4" provides three exclusions:
    • Real-life Luke deleting his channel in "Goodbye, SMG4" hasn't been written into the story.
    • Mario doesn't tear through Queen Bee at any point. For that matter, the character doesn't make an appearance.
    • Steve isn't there to try and stop Mario when he tries to get the parody contract to a judge. The author doubted Steve would be interested in working with Nintendo on account of his Call to Agriculture.
  • Not all the challenges from War of the Fat Italians 2022 were included in the fic's depiction of them. There's no rap battle at the end either.
• All There in the Manual:
  • According to the DeviantArt description in Chapter 30, Steve is working on the farm during the events of "Goodbye, SMG4". This leaves one less obstacle for Mario as he tries to get the parody contract to a judge.
  • Implications aside, the full story of why Meggy showed up to court later than everyone else did and why SMG2 came back with a coconut, at least in this version, is given on Chapter 31's DeviantArt description.
• And This Is for...: During SMG1 and 2's platforming challenge in War of the Fat Italians 2022, they start off with this exchange.
  SMG1: Best of luck to us. Remember who we’re fighting for...
  SMG2: For number Four and for Spudnick!
• Boss Subtitles:
  • Chapter 8 gives Lawyer Kong the title of "Funky Monkey Nintendo Attorney" when he catches up to the heroes. Later in Chapter 30, he just gets "Funky Monkey Attorney".
  • Before the SMG4 crew's fight with Mr. Grizz in Chapter 16, he receives the title of "Ursine Alien Anomaly".
• Call-Back: During Meggy's Squee moment upon meeting Phoenix Wright, she says that he's to lawyering what Oneshot Wren is to Splatfests.
• Canon Welding: Some of the author's previous SMG4 fanfics are incorporated into this story, such as "Escape From Inkopolis", which took place between "If Mario Was In... Splatoon 3" and "Breaking Luigi".
• Chekhov's Skill: During the game proposal montage in "[NINTENDO HAS CLAIMED THIS VIDEO]", SMG1 and 2 had the honor of participating in a platforming challenge. They would do so again come War of the Fat Italians 2022.
• Continuity Cavalcade:
  • While navigating the desert SMG4 and Meggy were exiled to in "Mario Can't Play With You Anymore...", they come across familiar faces that remind them of past SMG4 videos, with the narration going into great detail what role the characters had in them, even ones that weren’t seen at the desert in the original^note yet. Crowd shots in later arc episodes would show that more people were affected by the firewall. Interestingly, the cavalcade also makes room for references to two short stories the author wrote that involved Depresso and Kaizo, respectively.
  • In another scene adapted from "Mario Can't Play With You Anymore...", after Meggy tells SMG4 "every one of your arcs are depressing", she specifically describes how so; everything from Waluigi's T-Pose Apocalypse to the apocalypse brought upon by the God Box. SMG4 then counters how everything got better after all those incidents.
  • While at the rooftop at Moray Towers during "If Mario Was In... Splatoon 3", Meggy tries to help Mario remember who he is by not only telling him about the events of "If Mario Was In... Splatoon" that happened at this very rooftop, but also "Meggy's Bootcamp". The cavalcade continues when Mario vaguely recalls even more events from past videos as his memory slowly returns, including Meggy's Destiny and the Genesis Arc. Once again, an SMG4 fanfic that the author wrote gets involved into the fray, this one involving Mario stealing DJ Octavio's technology for the Meme Games. Finally, when Mario's memories fully return, he recalls events that had nothing to do with Splatoon or his origins.
  • Returning from "Goodbye, SMG4" is SMG4 reflecting on his past adventures as he says goodbye to Mario. However, one more is added to the list: the events of the Waluigi Arc.
  • After the wipeout of all the SMG4 characters, Mario thinks back to every major character in the series' past arcs prior to the Lawsuit Arc who died.
• Dies Differently in Adaptation: In "Breaking Luigi", Jacob died from the PINGAS meme Luigi threw at him. Here, however, the effects of the meme led to Jacob shooting himself. In addition, we no longer see his ghost ascending to heaven.
• "Double, Double" Title:
  • Apparently, the title alerting that the lawyers were coming only once just doesn't cut it.
  • Chapter 31 is titled "They're Finally Back, They're Finally Back".
• Enemy Mine: One new addition to this adaptation of the Lawsuit Arc is Lawyer Kong forming a brief alliance with the SMG4 crew to stop Mr. Grizz's conquest. SMG4 himself at one point recites the phrase "the enemy of the enemy is my friend".
• The Ghost:
  • Unlike the original, Miyamoto does not make a physical appearance, only appearing in voice-only phone calls. Other times, a producer character appears in his stead for scenes that require a physical appearance. The reason for this is because FanFiction has a policy against writers including real people in their fanfics unless there’s a clever workaround. And no, this isn’t a pun on a certain Miyamoto ghost meme.
  • Some Nintendo characters are mentioned to have some role in the plot, but don't make a physical appearance, like Rosalina and DJ Octovio.
• Gratuitous Japanese: Lawyer Kong says "Sayonara" ("goodbye" in Japanese) to Miyamoto in Chapter 24.
• Hypocrite: Nintendo is strict about not allowing firearms in their games... yet they use those same firearms to stop Mario from leaving in Chapter 29.
  Mario: With all their talk about no guns in family-friendly games, those mamaf***ers can be hypocritical in instances like these.
• Mook–Face Turn: An offscreen example, which is All There in the Manual. Meggy manages to get a Nintendo Ninja on her side during a time she was thought to be "dead", like the rest of the SMG4 characters.
• Motive Rant: Mr. Grizz gives one before his fight with the SMG4 crew in Chapter 16, which also doubles as a New Era Speech.
  Mr. Grizz: For too long, humanity has reigned over this world, sharing it with the likes of living fungus and other species, and the simple-minded mammals have suffered under this reign. Even the squids and octopi have thrived for too long, it is time for a new order, one where mammals reign and walk free. You, humans and Inklings, turtles and fish life, are all a liability. Enjoy the final remaining minutes the world has, the new era begins today and it was all made possible by the Inklings who went out of their way to salvage the Salmon Eggs from the Salmonids. And now, the final operation begins. The world shall prosper in freedom from the human plague. And there is nothing the managers of Nintendo can do to hold me back with their Splatoon franchise...
• Mythology Gag: Given how the author feels about Splatoon 3, it's no surprise that his version of "If Mario Was In... Splatoon 3" would include more references to the game that the SMG4 video didn't have time for, from a deeper look at Deep Cut to the encounter with Mr. Grizz.
• Named by the Adaptation: The Western town that was briefly shown in "If Mario Was In... Splatoon 3" has here been given the name Splatdune Village.
• Not Me This Time: SMG3’s cameo in "Mario Can't Play With You Anymore..." is here elaborated with him denying any involvement he had with everyone isolated from the Mushroom Kingdom.
  SMG3: Don’t mind me! I just came up for a visit, I had nothing to do with our predicament!
  SMG4: Never said you were...
• Pop-Culture Pun Episode Title:
  • Chapter 5 is titled "This Kong Has a C&D and a DMCA", and Chapter 8 is titled "He’s Finally Back... and He’s Booting You Out". Both of these titles are references to the the DK Rap, which isn’t surprising, considering that’s where SMG4 got Lawyer Kong’s voice. Chapter 28, meanwhile, gets its title ("And There’s SMG4, He’s Dead...") from a fanmade parody of the DK Rap by Brentalfloss. For even more references to fans' takes on the DK Rap, Chapter 31 is titled "They're Finally Back, They're Finally Back...", which is similar to the chanting when Chunky Kong is brought back to life in "SMG4 🅴🆇🅿🅰🅽🅳🆂 His Brain".
  • Chapter 14 is titled "Plumbers and Memes: Sunken Memories", a reference to the Sunken Scrolls and Hidden Memories from the first two Splatoon games, with the memories being in the latter.
  • Chapter 18 is titled "Escape from the City", a nod to City Escape from Sonic Adventure 2.
• Plot-Irrelevant Villain: Mr. Grizz opposes SMG4 like Nintendo, but Nintendo is not who he's affiliated with, nor does he fit into the lawsuit theme.
• Punny Name: The "Splatdune" in Splatdune Village combines "splat" with "dune". When you say it out loud, it almost sounds like another way of saying Splatoon.
• Shout-Out: Mario screaming "I WON’T DO IT; I WON’T DO IT! YOU. CAN’T. MAKE. ME!" in Chapter 3 is a reference to an episode of Moon Knight (2022), where Marc Spector said the same thing while refusing to let Steven Grant know the truth about how he came about while in the Duat.
• Spared by the Adaptation:
  • Due to her former Inkling status (and the temporary IP contract she signed not too long ago), Meggy does not succumb to the effects of the Super DMCA. All it did was knock her out, and long story short, she laid low until the SMG4 crew neededs a lawyer. This was inspired by a theory the author had as to why she didn't come back immediately in the original.
  • The author implied that this version of the Super DMCA sends some of its victims to another dimension, as opposed to straight-up killing them (albeit temporarily). This would explain why SMG1 and 2 came back from the world of Ultra Jump Mania.
• Suspiciously Specific Denial: A meta example. The author mentions in Chapter 12's DeviantArt description that Mr. Grizz will absolutely not be making an appearance in the story. Guess what happens in Chapter 15.
• Tournament Arc: Starting with Chapter 33, the rest of the story is the SMG4 cast competing against the recently-brainwashed Nintendo characters in a set of challenges in War of the Fat Italians 2022.
• Truer to the Text: The "say my name" scene from "Breaking Luigi" is here done more faithfully to the source material. Notably, Lawyer Kong (i.e. the person Luigi was talking to) says his name after Mario does.
• Written-In Absence: As in canon, only Big Man appears in "If Mario Was In... Splatoon 3", with the other two Deep Cut members, Shiver and Frye, nowhere to be seen. According to this fic, they had a tight schedule and couldn't make it to Big Man's Birthday Bash.

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