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Epic Movie Characters
Peter
"And finally... our last orphan, Peter. He made his home among the undesirables of society, the mutants. But even there he was an outcast."
- Played By: Adam Campbell
- Age Lift: This parody of Peter is aged up quite a bit, being 23 years old compared to his original Narnia counterpart's age of 13. Justified as him being 13 would make certain scenes, especially the one where he has sex with the flabby grandma Mystique, even more disturbing if he was his original age.
- Bait-and-Switch: Considering his day dream scene of Mystique had her as her normal, sexy figure, while dancing seductively for him, it could've been assumed he was mainly into conventionally attractive slender gals with large assets, and when he gets the chance to have sex with her, it could be assumed he'd simply want her as she is, or just with some larger breasts and a bigger ass... but it's then revealed he has some disturbing likings, such as unibrows, and fat flabby grandmas which he demands she shapeshifts into before they start having sex. Quite different from how one may have expected a sex session between the two would go down considering what we saw beforehand...
- Celebrity Crush: Seemingly one on Britney Spears, as he asks Mystique to transform into a form looking somewhat like her, albeit, much fatter and flabbier.
- Chubby Chaser: He's shown to like rather conventionally attractive woman throughout most of the film, especially those with a larger breast and ass size. This especially shows during his sex scene with Mystique, where he requests a larger ass and tits before they get it on... but it's then followed by his demanding she get extremely flabby arms, and become a "Fat Blue Britney Spears"... and considered he's more turned on by this transformation than any other girl in the film, seemingly extremely excited as they start getting it on, it's pretty obvious he falls under this trope.
- Covert Pervert: It's not a secret that Peter does like woman who are rather well endowed in the breast and ass department, but he mainly always seems shy about it and that seems to be as far as it goes... then comes the sex scene with Mystique. After still seeming rather shy and sheepish just asking for bigger breasts and an ass... he reveals he's into some weird stuff. He first asks for a monobrow, insisting she form one. And then... he asks for her to get extremely fat and flabby, and turn into a fat blue granny version of Britney Spears... it's pretty clear that Peter is into a lot weirder stuff sex wise than previously thought.
- Fetish: During his sex scene with Mystique, Mystique reminds him that she's a shapeshifter and that she's open to changing into whatever he likes... which leads to some revelations regarding his taste in women.
- His first request seems rather normal, large breasts, which leads to a nice sequence of breast expansion.
- His second request as well is pretty common, wanting a larger ass, leading to a nice sequence of ass expansion, followed by a request of a badonkadonk...
- However, this is then followed up by a unibrow, which he seems to be extremely excited over...
- And his final request is for her to get extremely fat and flabby, having extremely flabby arms, and a complete change in body type, which seemingly excites him more than other other request, being his breaking point before he pulls her down and they start to... make love...
- Hot Guy, Ugly Wife: Initially not the case, as both Peter and Mystique, especially the latter, are both rather attractive people, and Mystique has the advantage of being able to transform into any attractive woman he wants... yet he demands she turn herself into a fat and flabby unibrowed grandma before they start having passionate sex with one another. While Mystique isn't techincally his wife, she's still in a relationship with him and due to the transformation, a lot less attractive than him, even if Peter doesn't see it that way.
- Likes Older Women: REALLY older women. While Mystique is quite possibly already older than Peter if we compare the actor's ages (Adam being 27 at the time and Carmen being 35, nearly 10 years older), the sex scene completely confirms this trope, as he requests Mystique to morph into a flabby grandma body right before they start having passionate sex.
- Manchild: He shows signs of this. During the sex scene with Mystique, he seems mainly shy throughout the whole scene, until about halfway through when he starts getting into it... and he requests a monobrow. When she asks him to repeat himself, he starts clapping his hands and angrily demanding it, even saying "King wants a monobrow", almost like how a child would demand something from a parent... this doesn't stop here, as soon after, he asks for "Big Flabby Grandma Arms", and when she's seems disgusted, he continues to scream and demand it, calling them "Bingo Wings like a Fat Blue Britney Spears"... once again acting like a needy child, even demanding she "come here" so they can start getting it on.
- Official Couple: Near the end of the film, him and Mystique finally get together and also have sex with each other (even if it was... in a very disgusting manner) and get together as a pair.
- Sex as Rite-of-Passage: Throughout the entire film, Peter is portrayed as a loser and chicken (his actual chicken wings not helping). However, during the sex scene with Mystique, that's almost completely dropped as he starts demanding her to transform into his requests. And the next day, after having sex with Mystique, despite him initially about to chicken out, he now has the courage to rip off his chicken wings and stand beside his siblings to fight against the White Bitch. It's very possible that he suddenly starting acting a lot more brave due to him having sex the previous night. He scored with an absolute hottie, Carmen Electra in blue scales and bodypaint... granted, he had transformed her into a fat granny with flabby arms and a unibrow, but he requested it and seemed to view her like that as even hotter than before, so having sex with her may very well have given him the confidence to fight the White Bitch alongside his siblings.
- Wasteful Wishing: Mystique gives Peter the opportunity to shapeshift into any attractive woman he could possibly want or gain any extremely sexy attributes... and chooses for her to look like a fat flabby unibrowed grandma.
- Wish-Fulfillment: Parodied. He's a loser character who eventulally becomes king, and gets into a sexual relationship with Mystique, a sexy blue shapeshifter, who on top of being played by the gorgeous Carmen Electra, can shapeshift into whatever sexy woman he wants, which seems like total wish fulfillment to a tee... but then he requests her to shapeshift a unibrow and become a big fat flabby grandma before they have sex... and most would probably wish to be out of such a situation.
Lucy
"Meet our first orphan, Lucy. She had been raised by a kindly old museum curator."
- Played By: Jayma Mays
- Literal-Minded: She's shown to be this a couple times.Lucy: Willy told me he wanted his knob polished. "Literally polishes his door knob."
Edward
"Then there was our next orphan, Edward. He was living in a Mexican monastery with all the other children."
- Played By: Kal Penn
- Visual Innuendo: When he reveals to the White Bitch he's never had a girlfriend before, she decides to... suck on his finger... and afterwards, it's pulsing.
Susan
"Our next orphan, Susan... was on her way to Namibia to meet her new adoptive parents."
- Played By: Faune A. Chambers
- Informed Flaw: She's supposed stuck up and uptight, as Edward and Lucy tell her to "loosen up" at the party and have a few drinks. She never really showed this in early scenes and it kind of comes out of nowhere.
- Nice Job Breaking It, Hero: She agrees to a bit of drinking due to her siblings insistence, and ends up drinking an entire keg... leading to her puking gallons of puke on 4 random people, and then puking direction into the leader archer's mouth. None of the army show up the next day, and Edward blames Susan for it due to this incident.
Mystique
"You know I've got special powers, right? I'm a shape changer...I can change my form into anything...what do you like?"
Click to see her in her morphed form
- Played By: Carmen Electra, Lichelle D. Ebner (Morphed)
- Abhorrent Admirer: Subverted. When Peter gets in bed with her, he actually makes her a grotesque, fat, unibrowed woman because he prefers her that way. To drive home the subversion, Mystique is played by the absolutely stunning Carmen Electra, who could shapeshift into any attractive woman he wants.
- Big Ol' Unibrow: Gains one as per Peter's requests. Made especially gross as it doesn't just look like two eyebrows which are loosely collected, but is extremely hairy in the middle, almost forming one large eyebrow over her forehead. And of course,
Peter loves it. - Breast Expansion: Peter's first shapeshifting request is just this, "Big Hooters with Silver Dollar Nipples". And we see her push her breasts out and they expand to inhumanly large proportions. His request of "A Ghetto Booty, like... like a lot of junk in the trunk" also gave us a nice view of her ass expanding outwards to absolutely mouthwatering proportions... too bad both of these were ruined later on...
- Buxom Beauty Standard: Mystique already had a fantastic rack, but of course the first thing Peter requests before they get it on was to make her breasts even bigger. Somewhat subverted near the end after she's morphed into a flabby fat granny as her breasts are noticeably smaller, yet he's even more turned on by her.
- Conveniently Common Kink: Played straight and then subverted. While Mystique is totally into shapeshifting her body to please Peter, and seems really into the idea of growing bigger tits and a bigger ass, she is utterly repulsed by his requests for a monobrow and for her to turn into a fat flabby woman with big flabby grandma arms, though she still goes through with the transformation and the sex.
- Dub Personality Change: Somewhat the case for the Spanish Latin dub. In the English dub, Mystique was mostly silent and seemingly annoyed with the flabby grandma/fat blue Britney Spears transformation, and moaned mostly quietly when she actually started to get it on with Peter. In the Spanish Latin dub, however, she starts moaning extremely loudly immediately as she starts shapeshifting the flabbier body and flapping her bingo wings, getting more turned on, and seemed extremely excited as she wiggled her tongue and started to passionately make love with Peter, implying Mystique is even more sex craved than in the original English version.
- Fat Slob: As stated, Peter makes her turn into an absolutely repulsive, cross eyed, unibrowed fat woman before they have sex.
- Gasshole: With the "Breaking Wind" audio track on, Mystique completely becomes this trope. She's constantly farting and burping as she seductively dances for Peter in the opening... and the sex scene... goodness. She burps right after her long passionate kiss with Peter, and does so much more. She also lets out an absolutely disgustingly long fart as her ass expands, and once more as he spanks her. And finally, after she transforms into a fat, unibrowed, crosseyed granny, she lets out an extremely long manly burp as she starts to make out with Peter, who's mouth was wide open... at least Peter seemed to be enjoying it...
- I Do Not Like Green Eggs and Ham: She's clearly initially disgusted by the idea of having sex with Peter while transformed into a fat flabby granny body, as he requests, yet as they start getting it on, she is clearly really enjoying it, moaning quite loudly in pleasure.
- Karmic Transformation: Mystique is shown in the beginning to not care for Peter, since he's considered a loser and his chicken wings makes him look undesirable. However, later on, she starts to be attracted to him when he becomes king of Gnarnia and decides to have sex with him, even allowing him to request how she should shapeshift... and while it initially seems to go how she expects, with him making her gain larger honkers and booty cheeks, she then is demanded to transform into a fat flabby grandma with a unibrow, making her look undesirable and like an ugly loser, even if not to Peter.
- Leitmotif: In the two scenes heavily focused on her, "Promiscuous" by Nelly Furtado and Timbaland accompanies her appearances. The first being the scene where Peter imagines her sexily dancing for him, while the other is when she gains larger breasts, a huge butt, a unibrow, and becomes incredibly fat and flabby for Peter right before they start having sex.
- Ms. Fanservice: Oh, Mystique is this trope in spades. The literal first scene she's in has her seductively dance for the camera, showing off her lovely ass, breasts, and overall body. Being played by the absolutely stunning Carmen Electra certainly helps. The sex scene has her even more seductive and sexy, sexily talking to Peter, and having her already large ass and boobs get even bigger...
- Beauty Inversion: ...however, she then grows a monobrow, detracting from the sexiness quite a bit... and the Ms. Fanservice aspect is completely shattered when Peter demands she have "Bingo wings, like a fat blue Britney Spears"... suddenly the absolutely stunning Carmen Electra is replaced with a completely different, much fatter and uglier actress... with a wart and pretty noticeable crossed eyes... after which they start to make love. Quite the inversion indeed...
- Nausea Fuel: In-universe. The visual of Peter having passionate sex while making out with Mystique, in her Carmen Electra body, with a much larger ass and pair of breasts? Absolutely hot and heavenly to think about. The visual of Peter having passionate sex while making out with Mystique after she's shapeshifted into a cross eyed and fat flabby grandma with a unibrow? Who also was sloppily wiggling her tongue and presumably rode him while being hundreds of pounds overweight? Absolutely disgusting and sickening to think about for any man.
- The "Breaking Wind" version doubles down on this, as she burps constantly at him, and farts disgustingly during the sexy times. Especially disturbing when she transforms into the flabby grandma as she lets out a manly burp and she continues to burp as they make out.
- Official Couple: Near the end of the film, him and Mystique finally get together and also have sex with each other (even if it was... in a very disgusting manner) and get together as a pair.
- Organic Bra: Aside from some shoes, which come off one she gets in bed with Peter, Mystique is completely nude. Much like the character she's parodying however, her naughty bits are covered by scales.
- Shapeshifter Default Form: Carmen Electra's lovely sexy body covered in blue bodypaint and scales is Mystique's default form in the film. Though, she's up for using her shapeshifting to satisfy her lover in bed... no matter how weird she turns out.
- Shapeshifting Squick: In bed, Mystique is fully open to Peter requesting things for her to shapeshift before they get it on... however, despite some initially normal requests, he then asks for a unibrow, and for her to have "Bingo wings, like a fat blue Britney Spears"... and we soon get a close up shot of her, and... just look at the "morphed Mystique" for yourself... she's rather disgusting and scary, and seeing them start to make out and get it on does not help.
- Shapeshifting Seducer: Mystique uses her shapeshifting powers quite effectively on Peter, allowing him to request any sexy feature he wants her to have before they get it on, leading to her gaining much more impressive breasts and a mouthwateringly big ass... followed by a monobrow and her turning into a fat grandma with extremely flabby arms. Not that Peter minded as they started to get in on though...
- Silver Fox: Parodied. Mystique transforming into a fat flabby grandma with a unibrow and crossed eyes, which is clearly intended to look absolutely disgusting in every possible way. However, Peter finds her absolutely stunning, even 'drooling' at the sight of her, clearly viewing her as absolutely sexy.
- Voluntary Shapeshifting: At one point in the film, Mystique uses her shapeshifting powers to please Peter's fetishes in bed... a larger bust and ass size, a monobrow, and to have incredibly flabby arms, and to look like a fat granny, right before they start sloppily making out and getting it on...
- What Happened to the Mouse?: She completely vanishes after her sex scene with Peter, and doesn't even reappear at the crowning of the orphans at the end. While she presumably is in the crowd, as she did hook up with Peter, we never fully see her again.
The White Bitch
"I hate those fucking kids..."
- Played By: Jennifer Coolidge
- Book Dumb: She is shown to not be able to read that well, especially when looking over her messages..."The... keeds... have... esca-puh-duh."
- I Have Boobs, You Must Obey!: When Edward initially refuses to tell her where his siblings are... she flashes him and he instantly reveals their location.
