"It was in that moment that I realized something. A dull, blurred feeling that I'd had since this whole mess began, all of a sudden crystal clear. It had been a long, long time since I hated anyone the way I hated them."
— The Punisher, The Slavers
I'll warn you about one more thing. If you do something like that in front of Koon, your fingers will be gone by tomorrow.
"I gave you a warning...I told you that if you ever hurt Momo I'd kill you myself!"
"Hey! I know you're upset, but if you EVER mention my mother's loins, OR their frothiness to me again...I don't know what I'll do, but it will be bad!"
— Sterling Archer, Archer
"Now why would you go and do something like that? Didn't you see the sign that said do not push this button!"
— Mimiron, World of Warcraft
"You know, I'm really easy to get along with most of the time. But I don't like bullies, and I don't like threats. And I don't like you."
— Captain Janeway, Star Trek: Voyager
"I am Colonel-Commissar Ibram Gaunt. I am known as a fair man, unless I am pushed. You have just pushed me."
— Ibram Gaunt, Gaunt's Ghosts
"Gentlemen! If any harm should come to Mrs Jackman, I will kill all of you one by one... and I will take... my... tiiimme!"
— Hyde, Jekyll
"I'm gonna lose it on you!"
— Rembrandt, The Warriors
"They destroyed my beautiful creation. Now I'm beginning to get really angry!"''
— Ivan Ooze, Mighty Morphin' Power Rangers: The Movie
"The price you pay for bringing up either my Chinese or my American heritage as a negative is: I collect your fucking head. Just like this fucker here. Now if any of you sons of bitches got anything else to say, NOW'S THE FUCKING TIME! ...I didn't think so."
— O-Ren Ishii, Kill Bill
"Inside the psyche of every individual, there exists a spot. A spot that must never be disturbed. It exists inside even the most coolheaded humans. Where it sits. And waits. And if you think you are immune...if you think nothing you hear could ever offend you...think again."
— Introduction to "Mulberry: Offended"
"It is not the expert thrust of Athos nor the cold skill of Aramis nor the iron wrist of Porthos that we have to fear - it is the Gascon's fury — the wild and unacademic attack of the troubadour - the sword of D'Artagnan."
— O. Henry, The Last of the Troubadours
"Disgusting! Disgusting! Disgusting! Disgusting! Disgusting! Disgusting!"
"You made me swallow my gum! It's going to be in my digestive tract for seven years!"
"Do not touch me in that fashion. We may sometimes look like you, but we are not you. Never forget that."
— Lennier, Babylon 5
"Everyone is a reactionary about subjects he understands."
Korax: We like the Enterprise! We... we really do! That sagging old rust bucket is designed like a garbage scow! Half the quadrant knows it, that's why they're learning to speak Klingonese!
Chekov: Mr. Scott!
Korax: (mocking Scotty's accent) Yer right. I should. (Normal voice) I didn't mean to say that the Enterprise should be hauling garbage. I meant to say that it should be hauled away as garbage!
— Star Trek: The Original Series, "The Trouble With Tribbles", about five seconds before Scotty punches Korax in the face''
"Beaver? Did you say... did YOU SAY... BEAVER?!!!!!"
—The Cactus King, The Elm Chanted Forest
Nostalgia Critic: [This movie has] mediocre special effects that you're more likely to see in one of Linkara's videos!
NC: *still cool, mocking* Get over it, you comic geek, your special effects sucks!
Linkara: Bat-Credit Card.
NC: *apeshit* the Bat-Credit Card? (starts shooting in random and rage)
—The Nostalgia Critic, Superman IV review
Amy: (to Eggman for destroying her good-luck bracelet) RAAAGH! Now you're gonna PAY!!!
Amy: Don't mess with me! (starts repeatedly pounding Serpenter into submission)
Eggman: Oh my...!
Amy: (still pounding on Serpenter)
Eggman: Oh no. Perhaps it's time for me to go!
"NO WIRE HANGERS! EVER!!!"
—Joan Crawford, Mommie Dearest
"Did I mention how much I hate bugs?"
—Raphael, Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles (2003 cartoon) Episode 47
"Don't call me pretty. The last guy who called me pretty ended up looking a lot less pretty."
—Duncan, Total Drama Action, "Riot on Set"
"Why don't you take a sh*t in Fiorello LaGuardia's hat and feed it to Joe DiMaggio's crying ghost on Liberty Island, you son of a bitch?"
"OH NO! NOT STEVE! NO! NOTHING SHALL BE NAMED STEVE!"
"There are three surefire ways to get punched: in Italy, claiming the women are not beautiful, in England, claiming the English are not free, and in Germany, that sauerkraut is not food fit for the gods."
—Alexandre Dumas, The Great Dictionary of Cuisine
Pronyma: (dying) "Lord Yggdrasill... Mithos, please..."
Yggdrasill: "Only my former companions may call me by that name, get out of my sight!" (Kills her)
"So I said to him, I said, 'If you pop that gum one more time...' And he did. So I took the shotgun off the wall and fired two warning shots. Into. His. Head."
—Chicago, "The Cell Block Tango"
"How dare you? How DARE YOU! Listen here, mister. Just because you're big doesn't mean you get to be a bully. You may have huge teeth, and sharp scales, and snore smoke, and breathe fire. But you do not— I repeat— You do not! Hurt! My! Friends! You got that?"
"DON'T CALL ME SMALL! I'LL TEAR YOUR LEGS OFF AND STICK 'EM ON YOUR HEAD!"
"AHHH! Not my hair!!! My flowing hair is my trademark! Now I'm REALLY mad!! YOU'VE MADE A VERY BIG MISTAKE, SEVIPER!!!" (Jessie then beats the crap out of Seviper with her bare hands)
—Jessie, after Seviper bites her hair off, Pokémon
"I don't want to bore you with the details as they would just... bore you. Oh, but there is one thing I want to tell you. If, for whatever reason, Noel Vermillion is harmed in any way, I will hunt down that person and make them pay... dearly."
Yosuke: Has anything strange happened to you lately?
Kanji: What's this "strange" stuff, huh!? Are you saying that I'm strange!?
Yosuke: Huh? N-No, I didn't mean—!
Kanji: You shitheads better get the hell out of my face, or I'm taking you down!
Yosuke: Wha—!? Wait, why!?
Kanji: I look like I'm joking!?
Kanji: YOU SAYIN' I LIKE DUDES!? TAKING YOU PUNKS DOWN! RAAAAA!!!!
Persona 4, conveying the same thing, canon or webcomic version
"Call me an asshole one more time."
—John Hancock, Hancock, whenever someone calls him an asshole - and regrets it
"Never insult Albus Dumbledore in front of me." note
Rubeus Hagrid, from Harry Potter. He gives Dudley a pig's tail.
"APPLEJACK! YOU PINKIE PROMISED!'''"
—Pinkie Pie, My Little Pony: Friendship Is Magic
Spongebob: "Who do they think they are? I gave the best years of my life to this place and they think they can just fire like that? Like trash? I don't think so."
Patrick: "SpongeBob? Is that you?"
SpongeBob: "I've been waiting for you, Patrick!" (growls like an animal)
Patrick: SpongeBob, you're scaring me, stop it. Ahh!
"Call me Dottie, and you die."
—Dot Warner, Animaniacs
Mr. Cheeky: Well I was asking her to shut up, so I can hear what He's sayin', Big Nose!
Mrs. Bignose: Don't you call my husband Big Nose!
Mr. Cheeky: Well, he has got a big nose.
Hearer 1: Could you be quiet, please? What was that?
Mr. Cheeky: I dunno. I was busy talking to Big Nose.
Mr. Cheeky: See, if you would shut up, I would've heard that, Big Nose!
Mr. Bignose: Hey! Say that once more, and I'll smash your bloody face in!
Mr. Cheeky: Oh, better keep listening. Might be about "Blessed are the big noses"!
Brian: Oh, lay off him!
Mr. Cheeky: Well, you're not so bad yourself, conk-face. Where are you two from, 'Nose City'?
Mr. Bignose: One more time, mate... and I'll take you to fucking cleaners!
Mrs. Bignose: Language! And don't pick your nose!
Mr. Bignose: I wasn't gonna pick my nose, I'm gonna thump him!
Mrs. Bignose: You're not gonna thump anybody!
Mr. Bignose: I'll thump him if he calls me 'Big Nose' again!
Mr. Cheeky: Aw, shut up, Big Nose!
Mr. Bignose: Oh, right. I warned you. I really will slug you!
Mr. Cheeky: Listen, I'm only telling the truth, you have got a very big nose!
Mr. Bignose: 'Ey... Your nose is going to be three foot wide across your face when I'm through with you!
Mr. Cheeky: Well, who did yours, then? Goliath's big brother?
Mr. Bignose: Ooh, right, that's your last warning.
Hearer 1's wife: Will you pipe down— (is punched by Mr. Bignose) Ooh!
Mr. Bignose: Silly bitch!
Thor: I've come here to put and end to Loki's schemes!
Captain America: Then prove it! Put the hammer down.
Iron Man: Um, yeah, no! Bad call! He loves his hamme-
[Thor knocks down Iron Man with his hammer Mjolnir]
Thor: [to Cap] You want me to put the hammer down!?
NOBODY rapes Christmas
Goku, Team Four Star
"Sorry Core, she [Trina] dissed the band! Nobody disses the band."
Laney Penn, Grojband, "Queen Bee"
"I was stuck in an elevator and I had to listen to forty-one and a half minutes OF ELEVATOR MUSIC!!!!!!!!!!!!"
Corey Riffin, "Love in a Nethervator"
"Did you just call me 'Blue Squirt'!?note EXPLOSION OF ANGER!! SAMURAIMAN HAS ARRIVED!!!"
Ninjaman, Ninja Sentai Kakuranger
Celes: -smiling- I only drink royal milk tea, in which milk is used to draw out the flavor of the black tea.
Yamada: Well, you shouldn't be so—
Celes: SHUT UP AND BRING ME THE GODDAMN TEA, YOU PIG!!!!
Yamada: T-this pig shall bring the tea now!
"Compare me to Family Guy again and so help me, I will kill you where you stand!"
—Eric Cartman, South Park
Anyhow, commander kid goes down, and this girl sees it. Freaks the fuck out. Runs over and starts casting Cure and shit on him, and he just lays there like a log. Pretty sad, actually. Poor things.
Now, the story probably should've ended right there. Battle goes on, more people die, others get arrested, we come in and clean up the mess. But no. That's when it got bad. 'Cause see, apparently this girl wasn't what we'd call normal, and the commander kid had had a very good reason for not wanting her to come. This was a riot that was half over the sorceresses, and apparently, this bitch was a sorceress. She just wasn't acting like it. Not until they took out her boyfriend.
I'll spare you the fine details of what happened next, since they're pretty fucking gruesome. Let's just say that she went a little crazy. Actually, fucking ballistic is more like it. She just blasts through the shield—kills a bunch of fucking See Ds on her way, too—and just goes to town on the other guys. Just blast after blast of magic, completely decimates these guys. She hit a couple of the buildings, too, which means she was to blame for at least a couple dozen civilian casualties on that street.
Chewie: And there's a whole game where you have to press the same button over and over. Like Dynasty Warriors
Josh: Say what!?
Chewie: *While The Autarch is making signs to tell Chewie to stop* Dynasty Warriors is a Button Masher.
Josh: *Beat* I... am... going to kill you, YOU SUNUVA—!!!! *starts choking Chewie*
*cue static interrupt and a breather music, another static and cue Chewie recovering from choke, Josh nowhere in sight, Autarch sitting calmly*
Autarch: Sorry 'bout that! Let's move on...
Josh: (sobbing) It's not a Button-Masher! It's not—