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Anime & Manga
Revy: ANY IDIOT WHO SHOWS UP AND STARTS SHOOTING AT US...!
Eda: ...HAD BETTER DAMN WELL BE PREPARED TO GO TO WAR!
Eda: ...HAD BETTER DAMN WELL BE PREPARED TO GO TO WAR!
— Black Lagoon, when a group of gangsters damage Eda's church's door and break Revy's shot glass
"You think I'm Vicious? YOU DON'T KNOW WHAT VICIOUS IS!"
— Spike Spiegel after being mistaken for his archnemesis, Cowboy Bebop, "Jupiter Jazz (Part 1)"
Lind L. Tailor: Kira, I've got a pretty good idea what your motivation might be and I can guess what you hope to achieve. However, what you're doing right now is evil.
Light Yagami: You think... I'm evil? ...I am justice! I protect the innocent and those who fear evil! I'm the one who will become the god of a new world that everyone desires! All those who oppose that god... they are the ones who are truly evil!
Light Yagami: You think... I'm evil? ...I am justice! I protect the innocent and those who fear evil! I'm the one who will become the god of a new world that everyone desires! All those who oppose that god... they are the ones who are truly evil!
— Death Note, just before Light kills Lind L. Tailor.
"DON'T CALL ME SMALL! I'LL BREAK OFF YOUR FEET AND STICK 'EM ON YOUR HEAD!"
"There is a topic — serving almost like a trigger — which, when brought to discussion, makes Shiki mad but unable to retort back properly."
— The Garden of Sinners, Chapter 3
"Half-breed or full-breed, to me it doesn't matter. But when you insult my mother, that's when I get angry!"
— Inuyasha, Inuyasha
"Talk shit about my hair and you'll see a different side of me. A side that'll make you feel pain like never before. So what was that about my hair looking like a motley toupee!? [...] I KNOW WHAT I HEARD DAMMIT!"
— Josuke Higashikata, JoJo's Bizarre Adventure: Diamond is Unbreakable
"Nothing ticks me off more than someone trying to steal my food."
— Ash Ketchum numerous times throught the series, Pokémon: The Series
"THE NAME IS BUTCH!"
"AHHH! Not my hair! My flowing hair is my trademark! Now I'm really mad! YOU'VE MADE A VERY BIG MISTAKE, SEVIPER!"
— Jessie, before beating the crap out of a Seviper with her bare hands, Pokémon the Series: Ruby and Sapphire
"I see you wasting food like that again, I will kill you."
— Kyoko Sakura, Puella Magi Madoka Magica
Foreigner: Thank you.
Suzu: Yeah.
Foreigner: Little girl.
Suzu: GAH!! [Foreigner leaves peacefully] F*CK YOU!! MOTHERF*CKER!! F*** ***!!!
Suzu: Yeah.
Foreigner: Little girl.
Suzu: GAH!! [Foreigner leaves peacefully] F*CK YOU!! MOTHERF*CKER!! F*** ***!!!
[Eggman has destroyed Amy's good-luck bracelet]
Amy: RAAAGH! Now you're gonna pay!
Sonic: Oh!
Eggman: Huh?!
Amy: Don't mess with me! [starts repeatedly pounding Serpenter into submission]
Sonic: ...Whoa.
Eggman: Oh my...!
Amy: [still pounding on Serpenter]
Eggman: Oh, no. Perhaps it's time for me to go!
Amy: RAAAGH! Now you're gonna pay!
Sonic: Oh!
Eggman: Huh?!
Amy: Don't mess with me! [starts repeatedly pounding Serpenter into submission]
Sonic: ...Whoa.
Eggman: Oh my...!
Amy: [still pounding on Serpenter]
Eggman: Oh, no. Perhaps it's time for me to go!
"Disgusting! Disgusting! Disgusting! Disgusting! Disgusting! Disgusting!"
— Death The Kid while shooting a mummy that's asymmetrical, Soul Eater
"YOU WANNA KNOW IF I HAVE A PROBLEM?! YOU TOOK THE ABSOLUTE HEIGHT OF THE HUMAN SPIRIT, THE VERY ESSENCE OF THE MALE SOUL, AND YOU STOMPED IT INTO THE DIRT, SMACKED IT AROUND AND SMASHED IT! I'LL FOLLOW YOU BASTARDS THROUGH THE FIERY PITS OF HELL AND KILL YOU A MILLION TIMES OVER!"
— Kamina, upon being denied fanservice, Tengen Toppa Gurren Lagann, Episode 6 (uncut)
Comedy
"Don't count! Only a fucking old woman counts."
— Uncle Donnie, Adam Sandler
"And Sammy, you keep your fucking trap shut!"
— Mr. Decesare, Adam Sandler
Comic Books
Pedestrian: Hey, it's called a sidewalk, not a sidestand. What are you supposed to be, anyway? Some kinda mime? Crazy bitch.
[Beat Panel]
The Masked Mute: I come from soulless things that worm through a man's mind
Like maggots through a leprous spine
No broken synapse clicks and spits in my brain
And to prove this, I will show you my special face.
A face for your offense and your spiteful transgression
A face you helped make... so here beginneth the lesson.
[transition to the Masked Mute walking away from the pedestrian's blood-splattered car]
The Masked Mute: I am not crazy.
[Beat Panel]
The Masked Mute: I come from soulless things that worm through a man's mind
Like maggots through a leprous spine
No broken synapse clicks and spits in my brain
And to prove this, I will show you my special face.
A face for your offense and your spiteful transgression
A face you helped make... so here beginneth the lesson.
[transition to the Masked Mute walking away from the pedestrian's blood-splattered car]
The Masked Mute: I am not crazy.
— Fall of Cthulhu: The Gathering
Captain Haddock: I've had enough, do you understand? You want to go to the moon? Well go! But without me! I'm going home to Marlinspike! And you can go on acting the goat here for as long as you like!
Calculus: Oh, I'm acting the goat? I'm acting the goat, am I? I... This is too much! I, acting the goat! I demand an apology, an apology, you hear? You have no right to say such a thing! Acting the goat! To dare say such a thing to me! You! You!... You follow me... I'll show you just how I act the goat! Come along!
Calculus: Oh, I'm acting the goat? I'm acting the goat, am I? I... This is too much! I, acting the goat! I demand an apology, an apology, you hear? You have no right to say such a thing! Acting the goat! To dare say such a thing to me! You! You!... You follow me... I'll show you just how I act the goat! Come along!
Le-Roy the Bartender: It's Le-Roy, by the way... not "Leroy."
Wormwood: Ahem... so Leroy... as I was saying, you've become Patient Zero. The Spore Father. With the urge to spread your seed more and more as your body's slowly consumed from—
Le-Roy: I told you, it's Le-Roy, not "Leroy!"
[Beat Panel]
Wormwood: Oh... That's nice... You know, a tell-tale sign something is wrong with you might be those tentacles coming out of your back there. Might want to do something about that, Leroy.
Le-Roy: I told you, it's Le-Roy, Le-Roy, damn you! Le-roy Le-roy Le-roy Le-roy Le-roy Le-roy Le-roy Le-roy!!! LEEEEEE-ROOOOOOYYYY...
Wormwood: Ahem... so Leroy... as I was saying, you've become Patient Zero. The Spore Father. With the urge to spread your seed more and more as your body's slowly consumed from—
Le-Roy: I told you, it's Le-Roy, not "Leroy!"
[Beat Panel]
Wormwood: Oh... That's nice... You know, a tell-tale sign something is wrong with you might be those tentacles coming out of your back there. Might want to do something about that, Leroy.
Le-Roy: I told you, it's Le-Roy, Le-Roy, damn you! Le-roy Le-roy Le-roy Le-roy Le-roy Le-roy Le-roy Le-roy!!! LEEEEEE-ROOOOOOYYYY...
Fan Fiction
"Visser Seventeen!"
I froze when the sharp voice spoke behind me. Had someone seriously just...?
Very, very slowly, I pivoted on the spot to look at the young woman behind me. She was about my age, with thick blond hair that had been arranged artfully so that it almost entirely hid the burn scars across the right side of her face.
"I'm sorry," I said through my teeth. "Essa four-one-two is not available right now. You'll have to leave a message and I'm sure he'll get back to you when he can."
The young woman's expression hardened into defensive lines. "It's not like I know your name. What was I supposed to call you?"
"'Hey, you,' would work just as well," I said coldly. "Better, in fact."
I froze when the sharp voice spoke behind me. Had someone seriously just...?
Very, very slowly, I pivoted on the spot to look at the young woman behind me. She was about my age, with thick blond hair that had been arranged artfully so that it almost entirely hid the burn scars across the right side of her face.
"I'm sorry," I said through my teeth. "Essa four-one-two is not available right now. You'll have to leave a message and I'm sure he'll get back to you when he can."
The young woman's expression hardened into defensive lines. "It's not like I know your name. What was I supposed to call you?"
"'Hey, you,' would work just as well," I said coldly. "Better, in fact."
— Eleutherophobia: Ghost in the Shell
Stella: Why were you planting trees instead of…well, playing dodgeball?
Girl Jordan: We are not in school and I have secondary interests too; in this case about planting a tree.
Girl Jordan: We are not in school and I have secondary interests too; in this case about planting a tree.
"Fitting, indeed," said the assistant. "To have taken the Supergirl clone from her imprisonment, Boom Tubed her to a point one year in her future, kept her comatose until her child's delivery, then sent her back to confront the Supergirl... a stroke of genius."
The assistant grinned. "Why, you might even say, Dread Lord, that the Satan Girl was Supergirl's dark—"
The master whirled and swiftly pierced the other's gut with the spear he was holding. The Spear of Destiny.
Desaad clutched at the shaft transfixing his midsection in agony. His master shot forth beams from his eyes which reduced him to his primal atoms. Later, he would reassemble them, and trust that Desaad would learn by that not to make jokes using his name.
The assistant grinned. "Why, you might even say, Dread Lord, that the Satan Girl was Supergirl's dark—"
The master whirled and swiftly pierced the other's gut with the spear he was holding. The Spear of Destiny.
Desaad clutched at the shaft transfixing his midsection in agony. His master shot forth beams from his eyes which reduced him to his primal atoms. Later, he would reassemble them, and trust that Desaad would learn by that not to make jokes using his name.
Warren: So, care to explain what Joe did that you hate him so much for? Really, don't you think almost spilling acid on him is overreacting just a bit?
Hank: He insulted both biochemistry and Twinkies. He had to be punished.
Scott: [mockingly] Both Twinkies and biochemistry? The godless heretic should be chased from the earth.
Hank: See. Scott agrees with me. I did not overreact.
Hank: He insulted both biochemistry and Twinkies. He had to be punished.
Scott: [mockingly] Both Twinkies and biochemistry? The godless heretic should be chased from the earth.
Hank: See. Scott agrees with me. I did not overreact.
Film — Animation
"Don't you dare laugh at me!"
— The Joker, Batman Beyond: Return of the Joker
"Beaver? Did you say... did YOU SAY... BEAVER?!"
— The Cactus King, The Elm-Chanted Forest
Kristoff: Now back up... while I deal with this crook here.
[Oaken stands up]
Oaken: What did you call me?
[cut to outside, as Oaken literally throws Kristoff out of his shop]
[Oaken stands up]
Oaken: What did you call me?
[cut to outside, as Oaken literally throws Kristoff out of his shop]
Bartholomew: [singing] To Ratigan, the world's greatest rat! (Hic!)
[Ratigan spews his drink while the other thugs gasp]
Ratigan: What was THAT?! What did you call me?!
Thug 1: Oh, oh, he didn't mean it, Professor.
Lizard Thug: It was just a slip of the tongue.
Ratigan: I AM NOT A RAT!
Thug 2: Course you're not. You're a mouse!
Thug 1: Yeah, that's right, a mouse!
Lizard Thug: Yeah, a BIG mouse!
Ratigan: Silence! [Ratigan throws Bartholomew out] Oh, my dear Bartholomew, I'm afraid that you've gone and upset me. You know what happens when someone upsets me...
[Ratigan spews his drink while the other thugs gasp]
Ratigan: What was THAT?! What did you call me?!
Thug 1: Oh, oh, he didn't mean it, Professor.
Lizard Thug: It was just a slip of the tongue.
Ratigan: I AM NOT A RAT!
Thug 2: Course you're not. You're a mouse!
Thug 1: Yeah, that's right, a mouse!
Lizard Thug: Yeah, a BIG mouse!
Ratigan: Silence! [Ratigan throws Bartholomew out] Oh, my dear Bartholomew, I'm afraid that you've gone and upset me. You know what happens when someone upsets me...
Phil Willie: Maybe they just didn't like your singin'.
Alameda Slim: My singin'? Songbirds sing. Saloon gals sing. Little bitty snot-nosed children sing! I YODEL! AND YODELIN' IS AN ART!
Bill Willie: Well, maybe they just didn't like your yodelin'!
[Slim starts swinging at his nephews with a branding iron]
Gil Willie: He didn't mean it, Uncle Slim. Everybody likes yodelin'. Why, it's one o' the funniest, cornball, goofy, silly sounds in the whole west!
[Gil gets the same treatment]
Alameda Slim: My singin'? Songbirds sing. Saloon gals sing. Little bitty snot-nosed children sing! I YODEL! AND YODELIN' IS AN ART!
Bill Willie: Well, maybe they just didn't like your yodelin'!
[Slim starts swinging at his nephews with a branding iron]
Gil Willie: He didn't mean it, Uncle Slim. Everybody likes yodelin'. Why, it's one o' the funniest, cornball, goofy, silly sounds in the whole west!
[Gil gets the same treatment]
Zazu: Oh, I never would have to this to Mufasa.
Scar: What?! What did you say?
Zazu: Oh, nothing!
Scar: You know the law: never mention that name in my presence. I am the king!
Scar: What?! What did you say?
Zazu: Oh, nothing!
Scar: You know the law: never mention that name in my presence. I am the king!
Banzai: And I thought things were bad under Mufasa.
Scar: What did you say?!
Banzai: I said Mu... [Shenzi elbows him] I said, uh... ¿qué pasa?
Scar: Good. Now get out.
Banzai: Yeah, but we're still hungry.
Scar: OUT!
Scar: What did you say?!
Banzai: I said Mu... [Shenzi elbows him] I said, uh... ¿qué pasa?
Scar: Good. Now get out.
Banzai: Yeah, but we're still hungry.
Scar: OUT!
Banzai: Hey, who's the pig?
Pumbaa: Are you talking to me?
Timon: Uh oh, they called him a pig.
Pumbaa: Are you talking to me?
Timon: You shouldn't have done that.
Pumbaa: Are you talking to me!?
Timon: Now they're in for it!
Pumbaa: They call me MISTER pig! ARRRGGHHHHH!
Pumbaa: Are you talking to me?
Timon: Uh oh, they called him a pig.
Pumbaa: Are you talking to me?
Timon: You shouldn't have done that.
Pumbaa: Are you talking to me!?
Timon: Now they're in for it!
Pumbaa: They call me MISTER pig! ARRRGGHHHHH!
Scar: I'm the king, I can do whatever I want!
Sarabi: If you were half the king Mufasa was, you'd never—!
Scar: [strikes her] I'm ten times the king Mufasa was!
Sarabi: If you were half the king Mufasa was, you'd never—!
Scar: [strikes her] I'm ten times the king Mufasa was!
Sebastian: I tried to stop her, sir! She wouldn't listen! I told her to stay away from humans! They are bad, they are trouble, they—!
King Triton: Humans?! WHAT ABOUT HUMANS?!
Sebastian: ...Humans? [nervous chuckle] Who said anything about humans?
King Triton: Humans?! WHAT ABOUT HUMANS?!
Sebastian: ...Humans? [nervous chuckle] Who said anything about humans?
Admiral: Great news, Your Majesty! The French are defeated at last. Also, the Russians, the Portuguese, the Chinese, and the Welsh.
Victoria: Then our navy rules the ocean.
Admiral: Almost entirely, Your Majesty.
Victoria: "Almost"?
Admiral: Unfortunately, just here, we're still having a little trouble with... [Loud Gulp] ...P-p-pirates.
Victoria: What does it say on my royal crest, Admiral?
Admiral: "I hate pirates," ma'am.
Victoria: Exactly. Hate them. With their idiotic shanties! And their ridiculous hats! And their endless, blasted roaring! I want them sunk, Admiral! Scuppered, smashed, fed to the sharks. Do you hear me? I HATE PIRATES!
Victoria: Then our navy rules the ocean.
Admiral: Almost entirely, Your Majesty.
Victoria: "Almost"?
Admiral: Unfortunately, just here, we're still having a little trouble with... [Loud Gulp] ...P-p-pirates.
Victoria: What does it say on my royal crest, Admiral?
Admiral: "I hate pirates," ma'am.
Victoria: Exactly. Hate them. With their idiotic shanties! And their ridiculous hats! And their endless, blasted roaring! I want them sunk, Admiral! Scuppered, smashed, fed to the sharks. Do you hear me? I HATE PIRATES!
Scorpion: What are you, some kind of silly cartoon?
Spider-Ham: You got a problem with cartoons?
[cue Curb-Stomp Battle]
Spider-Ham: Aww, did that feel like a cartoon?!
Spider-Ham: You got a problem with cartoons?
[cue Curb-Stomp Battle]
Spider-Ham: Aww, did that feel like a cartoon?!
Obelix: I'll go first and finish him off at once, and then we go on to the next task.
[...]
Cilindric: So, ze fat gentleman first, ja?
Obelix: I AM NOT FAT!
[...]
Cilindric: So, ze fat gentleman first, ja?
Obelix: I AM NOT FAT!
Film — Live-Action
"He wasn't a dog lover. I hate that!"
— McTeague, Alita: Battle Angel, after making short work of Grewishka, who had killed a dog
"That makes me angry, and when Dr. Evil gets angry, Mr. Bigglesworth gets upset. And when Mr. Bigglesworth gets upset... people DIE!"
— Dr. Evil, Austin Powers
Thor: I've come here to put an end to Loki's schemes!
Captain America: Then prove it! Put that hammer down.
Iron Man: Um, yeah, no! Bad call! He loves his hamme— [hit with Mjölnir]
Thor: YOU WANT ME TO PUT THE HAMMER DOWN?!
Captain America: Then prove it! Put that hammer down.
Iron Man: Um, yeah, no! Bad call! He loves his hamme— [hit with Mjölnir]
Thor: YOU WANT ME TO PUT THE HAMMER DOWN?!
Billy Batts: Hey, Tommy, if I was gonna break your balls, I'd tell you to go home and get your shinebox. [to his friends] Now, this kid, this kid was great: they used to call him Spitshine Tommy. I swear to God, he'd make your shoes look like fuckin' mirrors — excuse my language. He was terrific, he was the best. Made a lot of money, too. Salud, Tommy!
Tommy DeVito: No more shines, Billy.
Batts: What?
Tommy: I said, no more shines. Maybe you didn't hear about it, you've been away a long time, they didn't go up there and tell you: I don't shine shoes anymore.
Batts: Relax, will ya? For cryin' out loud, what's got into you? I'm breaking your balls a little bit, that's all. I'm only kidding with ya...
Tommy: Sometimes you don't sound like you're kidding, you know, there's a lotta people around...
Batts: I'm only kidding with you, we're having a party, I just came home, and I haven't seen you in a long time, and I'm breaking your balls, and you're getting fucking fresh. I'm sorry, I didn't mean to offend you.
Tommy: I'm sorry too. It's okay. No problem.
Batts: Okay, salud.
[a Beat, as all finish their drinks]
Batts: Now go home and get your fuckin' shinebox.
Tommy: MotherFUCKIN' mutt! YOU... YOU FUCKIN' PIECE OF SHIT!
Tommy DeVito: No more shines, Billy.
Batts: What?
Tommy: I said, no more shines. Maybe you didn't hear about it, you've been away a long time, they didn't go up there and tell you: I don't shine shoes anymore.
Batts: Relax, will ya? For cryin' out loud, what's got into you? I'm breaking your balls a little bit, that's all. I'm only kidding with ya...
Tommy: Sometimes you don't sound like you're kidding, you know, there's a lotta people around...
Batts: I'm only kidding with you, we're having a party, I just came home, and I haven't seen you in a long time, and I'm breaking your balls, and you're getting fucking fresh. I'm sorry, I didn't mean to offend you.
Tommy: I'm sorry too. It's okay. No problem.
Batts: Okay, salud.
[a Beat, as all finish their drinks]
Batts: Now go home and get your fuckin' shinebox.
Tommy: MotherFUCKIN' mutt! YOU... YOU FUCKIN' PIECE OF SHIT!
"Call me an asshole one more time."
— John Hancock, Hancock
"The price you pay for bringing up either my Chinese or my American heritage as a negative is: I collect your fucking head. Just like this fucker here. Now, if any of you sons of bitches got ANYTHING ELSE TO SAY, NOW'S THE FUCKING TIME! [Stunned Silence] I didn't think so."
— O-Ren Ishii, Kill Bill
Lord Zedd: Do you recall the name... Zordon of Eltar?
Ivan Ooze: [screams in rage and fires lightning bolts into the sky]
Mordant: I think he's heard of him.
Ivan Ooze: [screams in rage and fires lightning bolts into the sky]
Mordant: I think he's heard of him.
"They destroyed my beautiful creation. Now I'm beginning to get really angry!"
— Ivan Ooze, Mighty Morphin Power Rangers: The Movie
"You made me swallow my gum! It's going to be in my digestive tract for seven years!"
— Gideon Graves, Age: 27, Asshole, Scott Pilgrim vs. The World
Teddy: You call my dad a looney again, I'll kill you.
Milo: Looney, looney, looney!
Teddy: I'm gonna rip your head off and shit down your neck!
Milo: Looney, looney, looney!
Teddy: I'm gonna rip your head off and shit down your neck!
Kirk: What is it with you, Spock? Hm? Your planet was just destroyed, your mother murdered, and... you're not even upset.
Spock: If you are presuming these experiences impede in any way my ability to command this ship, you are mistaken.
Kirk: And yet you were the one who said fear was necessary for command. D-D-Did you see his ship? Did you see what he did?
Spock: ...Yes, of course I did.
Kirk: So, are you afraid, or aren't you?
Spock: I will not allow you to lecture me on the merits of emotions.
Kirk: Then, why don't you stop me?
Spock: Step away from me...
Kirk': What is it like not to feel anger... heartbreak... or the need to stop at nothing to avenge the death of the woman who gave birth to you?
Spock: [voice wavering] Back away from me...
Kirk: YOU FEEL NOTHING! It must not even compute for you! You NEVER loved her!
Spock: MAAAAAAAAAUGH!
Spock: If you are presuming these experiences impede in any way my ability to command this ship, you are mistaken.
Kirk: And yet you were the one who said fear was necessary for command. D-D-Did you see his ship? Did you see what he did?
Spock: ...Yes, of course I did.
Kirk: So, are you afraid, or aren't you?
Spock: I will not allow you to lecture me on the merits of emotions.
Kirk: Then, why don't you stop me?
Spock: Step away from me...
Kirk': What is it like not to feel anger... heartbreak... or the need to stop at nothing to avenge the death of the woman who gave birth to you?
Spock: [voice wavering] Back away from me...
Kirk: YOU FEEL NOTHING! It must not even compute for you! You NEVER loved her!
Spock: MAAAAAAAAAUGH!
"I am warning you... if you touch my drums, I will stab you in the neck with a knife! If you even go in the room, I will go apeshit!"
— Dale Doback, Step Brothers
Eddie: GET OUT OF THAT CHAIR! [a terrified Roger slowly gets up] That's my brother's chair.
Roger: Say, where is your brother, anyway? It looks like a sensitive and sober fellow.
Eddie: [Beat] That's it, I'm callin' the cops.
Roger: Say, where is your brother, anyway? It looks like a sensitive and sober fellow.
Eddie: [Beat] That's it, I'm callin' the cops.
"Logan, my tolerance for your smoking in the mansion notwithstanding, continue smoking that in here, and you'll spend the rest of your days under the belief that you're a six-year-old girl."
— Professor Xavier, X2: X-Men United
Literature
If your opponent is of choleric temper, seek to irritate him.
"You dare. In my house!"
Midnite slammed his hand hard into Constantine's chest, staggering him against the wall, power flickering between his fingers, power enough to pin Constantine against the wall or to reach inside him and stop his heart cold between one beat and the next.
Midnite was a man of power — and that power was about face and self-belief and respect, a mana that built up according to his psychological dominance of his territory. And Constantine had threatened that. Constantine had broken in, and worse, had drawn a weapon on him. This pale magician was making demands of him on his own power-ground!
Dissing Midnite had consequences — supernatural and physical.
Midnite slammed his hand hard into Constantine's chest, staggering him against the wall, power flickering between his fingers, power enough to pin Constantine against the wall or to reach inside him and stop his heart cold between one beat and the next.
Midnite was a man of power — and that power was about face and self-belief and respect, a mana that built up according to his psychological dominance of his territory. And Constantine had threatened that. Constantine had broken in, and worse, had drawn a weapon on him. This pale magician was making demands of him on his own power-ground!
Dissing Midnite had consequences — supernatural and physical.
— Constantine: The Novelization
"Never insult Albus Dumbledore in front of me."
"NO WIRE HANGERS! EVER!"
— Joan Crawford, Mommie Dearest
"Even in the cubicles of the hierarchy, where fear was generated, seldom suffered, he was called the Ticktockman. But no one called him that to his mask.
You don't call a man a hated name, not when that man, behind his mask, is capable of revoking the minutes, the hours, the days and nights, the years of your life. He was called the Master Timekeeper to his mask. It was safer that way."
You don't call a man a hated name, not when that man, behind his mask, is capable of revoking the minutes, the hours, the days and nights, the years of your life. He was called the Master Timekeeper to his mask. It was safer that way."
Donald and Douglas had deep-toned whistles.
"They sound like buses!", said Gordon.
"Or ships!", snickered Henry.
"Tugboat Annie!", laughed Gordon, "Hahaha!"
Donald and Douglas cruised quietly up. One on each side.
"Ye wadnae be makkin' fun o’ uz, wad ye noo?", asked Donald.
Gordon and Henry jumped. They glanced side to side.
"Uh, no.", said Gordon.
"No, no. Certainly not." said Henry.
"That's fine," said Douglas, "Noo juist mind the baith o’ ye, and keep it that wey."
That was the way Gordon and Henry kept it!
"They sound like buses!", said Gordon.
"Or ships!", snickered Henry.
"Tugboat Annie!", laughed Gordon, "Hahaha!"
Donald and Douglas cruised quietly up. One on each side.
"Ye wadnae be makkin' fun o’ uz, wad ye noo?", asked Donald.
Gordon and Henry jumped. They glanced side to side.
"Uh, no.", said Gordon.
"No, no. Certainly not." said Henry.
"That's fine," said Douglas, "Noo juist mind the baith o’ ye, and keep it that wey."
That was the way Gordon and Henry kept it!
"'Snow,' my wife called me before she ate her fingers, but I say Bolton."
— Ramsay Bolton,note A Song of Ice and Fire
The Parshendi left their dead. Not because they were uncaring, but because they found it a terrible offense to move them. Merely touching the dead seemed a sin. If that was the case, a man desecrating corpses and wearing them into battle would be far, far worse.
As Kaladin drew closer, a different song started among the Parshendi archers. A quick, violent song, more chant than melody. Those who had lowered their bows raised them.
And they tried with everything they had to kill him.
As Kaladin drew closer, a different song started among the Parshendi archers. A quick, violent song, more chant than melody. Those who had lowered their bows raised them.
And they tried with everything they had to kill him.
Live-Action TV
"Do not touch me in that fashion. We may sometimes look like you, but we are not you. Never forget that."
— Lennier, Babylon 5
"My tolerance for an owner hitting an employee: Zero."
— Jon Taffer, Bar Rescue
Philip: It's not like we're college professors calling ourselves "doctors".
Holt: Not the same thing, my friend.
Philip: Well, sure it is. When someone has a heart attack on a plane, do they yell out, "Yo, does anybody here have an Art History PhD?"
Holt: A PhD is a doctorate. It's literally describing a doctor.
Jake: Maybe let's refocus.
Holt: [increasingly livid] No! The problem here is that medical practitioners have co-opted the word "doctor".
Jake: Okay, Captain—
Holt: I know we live in a world where aaaaaanyything can mean anything, AND NOBODY EVEN CARES ABOUT ETYMOLO—
[Smash Cut to Holt and Jake back in the break room]
Holt: Apparently that's a trigger for me.
Holt: Not the same thing, my friend.
Philip: Well, sure it is. When someone has a heart attack on a plane, do they yell out, "Yo, does anybody here have an Art History PhD?"
Holt: A PhD is a doctorate. It's literally describing a doctor.
Jake: Maybe let's refocus.
Holt: [increasingly livid] No! The problem here is that medical practitioners have co-opted the word "doctor".
Jake: Okay, Captain—
Holt: I know we live in a world where aaaaaanyything can mean anything, AND NOBODY EVEN CARES ABOUT ETYMOLO—
[Smash Cut to Holt and Jake back in the break room]
Holt: Apparently that's a trigger for me.
"Why don't you take a shit in Fiorello LaGuardia's hat and feed it to Joe DiMaggio's crying ghost on Liberty Island, you son of a bitch?"
Dalek in Ian Chesterton's old classroom: Small human female sighted on level three!
Ace: Who are you calling "small"!? [smashes the Dalek apart with a baseball bat upgraded to an energy mace]
Ace: Who are you calling "small"!? [smashes the Dalek apart with a baseball bat upgraded to an energy mace]
"Did you just call me 'Blue Squirt?!'note EXPLOSION OF ANGER! SAMURAIMAN HAS ARRIVED!"
— Ninjaman, Ninja Sentai Kakuranger
Guard interrupting an argument between Vernon Schillinger and Tobias Beecher: Alright, Schillin-jer—
Schillinger: SCHILLING-ER! GODDAMN IT! SCHILLING-ER! BEEN HERE NINE FUCKIN' YEARS, YOU'D THINK YOU'D LEARN HOW TO SAY MY GODDAMN NAME!
Schillinger: SCHILLING-ER! GODDAMN IT! SCHILLING-ER! BEEN HERE NINE FUCKIN' YEARS, YOU'D THINK YOU'D LEARN HOW TO SAY MY GODDAMN NAME!
— Oz
'''GYPSY CRUSHES JOEL!!
— Gypsy ramming Joel for taking advantage of Tom and Crow in rock-paper-scissors., Mystery Science Theater 3000,The Beatniks"
Dillon: Right, because nothing says covert like bright red, blue and yellow spandex.
Doctor K: THAT IS NOT SPANDEX!
Doctor K: THAT IS NOT SPANDEX!
Boy: Would you please tell me: where do you get your spandex?
Rangers: [gasp]
Doctor K: THAT IS NOT SPANDEX! The material is a self-assembling nano— [restrained by the others]
[...]
Girl: Ranger Yellow, as the sole female representative of the Power Rangers, I have a question for you: Which one of the guys looks cutest in the span—
Doctor K: [stopped by Summer before she can charge]
Girl: I mean, in the tights?
Rangers: [gasp]
Doctor K: THAT IS NOT SPANDEX! The material is a self-assembling nano— [restrained by the others]
[...]
Girl: Ranger Yellow, as the sole female representative of the Power Rangers, I have a question for you: Which one of the guys looks cutest in the span—
Doctor K: [stopped by Summer before she can charge]
Girl: I mean, in the tights?
"Here comes Cyranose de Bergerac. A pushover! He gets angry if you just say the word 'nose'!"
— Oscar the Grouch while trying to make someone angry, Sesame Street
Korax: We like the Enterprise! We... we really do! That sagging old rust bucket is designed like a garbage scow! Half the quadrant knows it, that's why they're learning to speak Klingonese!
Chekov: Mr. Scott!
Scotty: Laddie... don't you think you should... rephrase that?
Korax: [mocking Scotty's accent] Yer right. I should. [normal voice] I didn't mean to say that the Enterprise should be hauling garbage. I meant to say that it should be hauled away as garbage!
[Scotty punches him
]
Chekov: Mr. Scott!
Scotty: Laddie... don't you think you should... rephrase that?
Korax: [mocking Scotty's accent] Yer right. I should. [normal voice] I didn't mean to say that the Enterprise should be hauling garbage. I meant to say that it should be hauled away as garbage!
[Scotty punches him
]"You lied to me."
— Cameron, while choking multiple people to death, Terminator: The Sarah Connor Chronicles
Music
Well, you can knock me down, step in my face
Slander my name all over the place
Do anything that you want to do
But uh-uh honey, lay off of my shoes
Don't you step on my blue suede shoes
You can do anything but lay off of my blue suede shoes
Slander my name all over the place
Do anything that you want to do
But uh-uh honey, lay off of my shoes
Don't you step on my blue suede shoes
You can do anything but lay off of my blue suede shoes
— Elvis Presley, "Blue Suede Shoes"
Tabletop Games
Very little causes Nurgle's smile to dip, but Tzeentch seems to be able to provoke that reaction at will. When the universe dies and then rises again, it is one of greatest hopes of the Lord of All that like the Corpse God of Man, Tzeentch will not be reborn with it.
— Black Crusade: The Tome of Decay
Just as Harpies crave authority, they loathe defiance. Saying no insults — even failing to show sufficient adoration. These things simply can't be ignored, she must have revenge. Through her ability to inflict vengeance and her immunity to the consequences, a Harpy reasserts her dominance.
— Hunter: The Vigil: Slasher (fan-made content)
) Theater
"So I said to him, I said, 'If you pop that gum one more time...' And he did. So, I took the shotgun off the wall and fired two warning shots. Into. His. Head."
— Chicago, "The Cell Block Tango"
"CALL ME SON ONE MORE TIME!"
— Hamilton, "Meet Me Inside"
Video Games
Gunvolt: A little kid...? Were you kidnapped and brought here?
Gibril: Kid?! I'll show you who the kid is around here!
Gibril: Kid?! I'll show you who the kid is around here!
Deadlift: Get bent, Zarp! I ain't takin orders from the chick who threw me in prison!
Zarpedon: They said your jump pads are stupid.
Deadlift: I WILL ANNIHILATE THEM!
Zarpedon: They said your jump pads are stupid.
Deadlift: I WILL ANNIHILATE THEM!
Morrigan: You... do not truly think I look as my mother does, do you?
Alistair: Have you really been thinking about that all this time?
Morrigan: I am simply curious.
Alistair: And not insecure in the slightest, I'm sure.
Morrigan: I think I look nothing like her.
Alistair: I don't know. Give it a few hundred years and it'll be a spot-on match.
Morrigan: [menacingly] I said that I look nothing like her!
Alistair: All right. Got it. Totally different. I see that now.
Alistair: Have you really been thinking about that all this time?
Morrigan: I am simply curious.
Alistair: And not insecure in the slightest, I'm sure.
Morrigan: I think I look nothing like her.
Alistair: I don't know. Give it a few hundred years and it'll be a spot-on match.
Morrigan: [menacingly] I said that I look nothing like her!
Alistair: All right. Got it. Totally different. I see that now.
What's the problem with the Second City?
Never mention the Second City to the Masters of the Bazaar. Mr. Wines will look at you narrowly and give you its worst vintage. Mr. Cups will fly into a rage. Mr. Veils will harangue you for your discourtesy. Mr. Iron will say nothing, only write down your name with its left hand.
Never mention the Second City to the Masters of the Bazaar. Mr. Wines will look at you narrowly and give you its worst vintage. Mr. Cups will fly into a rage. Mr. Veils will harangue you for your discourtesy. Mr. Iron will say nothing, only write down your name with its left hand.
— A tooltip, Fallen London
Bambi "Buck" Hughes: I need you to find this for me. [presents Jason with a picture of an ancient Chinese knife] You do that, and you and I are even-Steven. And Keith leaves with you.
Jason Brody: [hearing Citra discussing said knife in his mind] I've... I've seen this knife before.
Buck: Knife? Knife?! [grabs the picture back from Jason] It's not just a fucking knife! It's art! There's more history in this than you and Keith's four arses squeezed together! That's my fucking fee, right?
Jason Brody: [hearing Citra discussing said knife in his mind] I've... I've seen this knife before.
Buck: Knife? Knife?! [grabs the picture back from Jason] It's not just a fucking knife! It's art! There's more history in this than you and Keith's four arses squeezed together! That's my fucking fee, right?
"Not long ago a man in my same class died of mysterious causes. He supposedly witnessed Blutwurst's unmasked face and was laughing about his Felineko heritage behind his back..."
— Fuga: Melodies of Steel, "Rumor of a Berman Soldier"
Bowser: Those guys make me so MAD! Gah! It does NOT end like this! I'm going back to that castle and kidnapping Peach for real!
Kamek: Unless... Mario's there, in which case he'll once again kick—
[Bowser breathes fire in fury]
Bowser: DON'T SAY THAT NAME! Just thinking about it makes me RAGE!
Kamek: Unless... Mario's there, in which case he'll once again kick—
[Bowser breathes fire in fury]
Bowser: DON'T SAY THAT NAME! Just thinking about it makes me RAGE!
Yosuke: Has anything strange happened to you lately?
Kanji: Strange? What's this "strange" stuff, huh?! Are you saying that I'm strange?!
Yosuke: Huh? N-No, I didn't mean—!
Kanji: You shitheads better get the hell out of my face, or I'm taking you down!
Yosuke: Wha—!? Wait, why?!
Kanji: I LOOK LIKE I'M JOKING?!
Kanji: Strange? What's this "strange" stuff, huh?! Are you saying that I'm strange?!
Yosuke: Huh? N-No, I didn't mean—!
Kanji: You shitheads better get the hell out of my face, or I'm taking you down!
Yosuke: Wha—!? Wait, why?!
Kanji: I LOOK LIKE I'M JOKING?!
"So, you're finally here. I was wondering when you'd show up. My name is Brock, and I don't appreciate being skipped. Hmm? Are you surprised? I'm not. I'm not surprised, no, I expected a loser like you to skip the first Gym Leader. Now, prepare for a rock-hard battle you won't forget, faggot!"
— Brock if you choose to intentionally skip the first gym, Pokémon Clover
GLaDOS: You're not just a regular moron... You were designed to be a moron.
Wheatley: I AM NOT A MORON!
GLaDOS: YES, YOU ARE! YOU'RE THE MORON THEY BUILT TO MAKE ME AN IDIOT!
Wheatley: WELL, HOW ABOUT NOW?! NOW WHO'S A MORON?! COULD A MORON PUNCH! YOU! INTO! THIS! PIT?! HUH?! COULD A MORON DO THAT?!
Wheatley: I AM NOT A MORON!
GLaDOS: YES, YOU ARE! YOU'RE THE MORON THEY BUILT TO MAKE ME AN IDIOT!
Wheatley: WELL, HOW ABOUT NOW?! NOW WHO'S A MORON?! COULD A MORON PUNCH! YOU! INTO! THIS! PIT?! HUH?! COULD A MORON DO THAT?!
— Portal 2
Lilli: Tia, she's not listening to a word you say! What do you call people like these again? Idjits?
Zorne: What!? Who are you calling an idiot!? Damn it! I won't let you get away with that!
Zorne: What!? Who are you calling an idiot!? Damn it! I won't let you get away with that!
"Verbal queries are a sloppy redundancy. Thoughts are quicker. We can skip the questions and go straight to the... You were staring at my head! I know what you're thinking about my head. You shouldn't have such thoughts. Stop. Thinking. About. My. Head!"
"There are only two things that truly anger me. One is going hatless. The other.... is being stolen from!"
— Mr. Hat, Shovel Knight Showdown
"Stay out of this! I am a princess, and she has thrown mud at my dignity! You two leave me be! Understood?!"
— Princess Peach, Super Paper Mario
Pronyma: [dying] Lord Yggdrasill... Mithos, please...
Yggdrasill: Only my former companions may call me by that name, get out of my sight! [kills her]
Yggdrasill: Only my former companions may call me by that name, get out of my sight! [kills her]
"Hey! Could you give a girl some peace and quiet? Back off!"
— Angela if the main character who's talking to her while she's sleeping at Jadd Stronghold's inn is male in Trials of Mana
Spitz: That's it, buckos.
Dribble: Hm?
Spitz: First we get stiffed, and now THIS?!? Dribble! The Octoblazooka!
Dribble: I'm on it. [summons Octoblazooka] But Spitz, ain't we supposed to stay cool and all that?
Spitz: I'm not gonna sit there and let these punks knock us around! They want a fight. They got one!
Dribble: Stay cool, Spitz! Stay cool! SPIIIIIIIITZ!
Dribble: Hm?
Spitz: First we get stiffed, and now THIS?!? Dribble! The Octoblazooka!
Dribble: I'm on it. [summons Octoblazooka] But Spitz, ain't we supposed to stay cool and all that?
Spitz: I'm not gonna sit there and let these punks knock us around! They want a fight. They got one!
Dribble: Stay cool, Spitz! Stay cool! SPIIIIIIIITZ!
"Now why would you go and do something like that? Didn't you see the sign that said do not push this button!"
— Mimiron, World of Warcraft
Visual Novels
"You... YOU TOUCHED MY FOX?"
— Strade if you attack Ren with the knife, Boyfriend To Death
Web Animation
Zinedine Zidane: I'm just... trying to do my job.
Jurgen Klopp: Really? Because it seems like you're trying to provoke me, but I can provoke you too. Marco... Mate...razzi.
[Zidane's face reddens and he headbutts Klopp to the ground, then screams in anger]
Klopp: Uh-oh...
[Zidane screams again and proceeds to headbutt Thomas Tuchel, then Antonio Conte, then a referee dummy, before head butting a whiteboard in two, all while Jose Mourinho tries unsuccessfully to restore order]
Jose Mourinho: Stop it! You will respect me! You will respect the classroom!
[Zidane runs through three successive walls into the distance, all while yelling and laughing maniacally, leaving a group of shocked players and managers to stare in disbelief behind him]
Klopp: ...Yikes! [grins, while Mourinho glares at him angrily]
Jurgen Klopp: Really? Because it seems like you're trying to provoke me, but I can provoke you too. Marco... Mate...razzi
.[Zidane's face reddens and he headbutts Klopp to the ground, then screams in anger]
Klopp: Uh-oh...
[Zidane screams again and proceeds to headbutt Thomas Tuchel, then Antonio Conte, then a referee dummy, before head butting a whiteboard in two, all while Jose Mourinho tries unsuccessfully to restore order]
Jose Mourinho: Stop it! You will respect me! You will respect the classroom!
[Zidane runs through three successive walls into the distance, all while yelling and laughing maniacally, leaving a group of shocked players and managers to stare in disbelief behind him]
Klopp: ...Yikes! [grins, while Mourinho glares at him angrily]
— The Champions (2018)note
"'I was sad I was drifting in and out of sleep for the first half, but there were some delicious naps!' No, you can't sneak up on me with that fuckin' 'delicious sleep' shit! Anyone uses the word 'delicious' for anything besides food, I am going to strangle you; you are #1 on the list of people I am going to kill when I get off hiatus! Naps are not delicious! They aren't! They can never be; they're not FOODS! Not... FOODS!
"SPACE WOLVES!?"
— Magnus the Red, If the Emperor Had a Text-to-Speech Device
Webcomics
"Never say 'direct order' around Doctor Bowman. Do not even joke about a direct order. He will take revenge [...] I am glad you're not as twitchy as Doctor Bowman. The least he would have let me off with is a towel snap, and trust me, a towel snap by a fully grown chimp is something you never forget."
— Henri Mer, Freefall
Yosuke: Has anything strange happened to you lately?
Kanji: Strange? YOU SAYIN' I LIKE DUDES!? TAKING YOU PUNKS DOWN! RAAAAA!!!!
Kanji: Strange? YOU SAYIN' I LIKE DUDES!? TAKING YOU PUNKS DOWN! RAAAAA!!!!
Meme Man: where is my foond
Waiter: here is your steank with NO VEGETAL as you ordered sir
Meme Man: cool and good
Vegetable: did someone say NO VEGETALS? [slips into Meme Man's mouth as he's eating]
Meme Man: i taste a VEGETAL. ANGERY
Waiter: here is your steank with NO VEGETAL as you ordered sir
Meme Man: cool and good
Vegetable: did someone say NO VEGETALS? [slips into Meme Man's mouth as he's eating]
Meme Man: i taste a VEGETAL. ANGERY
— Meme Man, "No Vegetal" comic
Inside the psyche of every individual, there exists a spot. A spot that must never be disturbed. It exists inside even the most coolheaded humans. Where it sits. And waits. And if you think you are immune...if you think nothing you hear could ever offend you... think again.
— Introduction to Mulberry: Offended
"I'll warn you about one more thing. If you do something like that in front of Khun, your fingers will be gone by tomorrow."
Web Videos
Medamatcha: Oh, I don't give a sh*t what Christmas is, now! I just know I'm going to kill it, and then my little Matchas are going to rape it!
Goku: Nobody rakes Christmas.
Goku: Nobody rakes Christmas.
Trunks: I wish you'd understand! There's no way we can fight [the Androids] without Goku!
Vegeta: And I wish you'd understand who you're talking to! I am Vegeta! Why would I ever need that gibbering fool's help?
Trunks: Because you're not as strong as—
[Vegeta slugs him in the stomach and flies off]
Krillin: You pushed the Goku Button. You shouldn't 'a did that.
Vegeta: And I wish you'd understand who you're talking to! I am Vegeta! Why would I ever need that gibbering fool's help?
Trunks: Because you're not as strong as—
[Vegeta slugs him in the stomach and flies off]
Krillin: You pushed the Goku Button. You shouldn't 'a did that.
Cell: Listen, Vegeta, I'm in the middle of something more important than whatever... this is. So if you just want to run along and bring back someone substantial, say, I dunno, Goku — [Vegeta's cocky smirk vanishes] That'd be great.
Vegeta: [takes a deep breath, then begins powering up]
Cell: Oh, what's wrong, prince? Did I touch a nerve?
Trunks: You pressed the Goku Button.
Cell: Excuse me, the wha— [Vegeta buries his fist into Cell's gut]
Vegeta: Ya shouldn't 'a did that.
Vegeta: [takes a deep breath, then begins powering up]
Cell: Oh, what's wrong, prince? Did I touch a nerve?
Trunks: You pressed the Goku Button.
Cell: Excuse me, the wha— [Vegeta buries his fist into Cell's gut]
Vegeta: Ya shouldn't 'a did that.
Cooler: How?! It literally doesn't make any sense! It took everything you had to defeat a single "me", yet you have enough power to overload the Big Gete Star?! HOW?! How did you do this?!
Goku: It looks like... you underestimated our power... just like—
Cooler: Don't you dare-
Goku: —you did on Earth.
Cooler: Oh. Fair enou—
Vegeta: And just like Freeza.
Cooler: [Completely loses his shit, summons a gigantic robot body and starts choking Goku] Did Freeza ever do THIS?!
Goku: Beginning to feel like you have something against your brother.
Goku: It looks like... you underestimated our power... just like—
Cooler: Don't you dare-
Goku: —you did on Earth.
Cooler: Oh. Fair enou—
Vegeta: And just like Freeza.
Cooler: [Completely loses his shit, summons a gigantic robot body and starts choking Goku] Did Freeza ever do THIS?!
Goku: Beginning to feel like you have something against your brother.
— Dragon Ball Z Abridged, "Cooler 2: The Return of Cooler's Revenge: The Reckoning"
"First of all... how dare you hate best pony? Best pony does everything best. That's why they're best pony. Second, HOW DARE YOU MAKE BEST PONY CRY?!"
— Joshscorcher, "Fame and Misfortune" review
"I don't get offended by video games. If it's edgy for the sake of being edgy, that doesn't cut me. If it has derogatory stereotypes, that's just an artistic choice. Seriously, if I download a game from Steam, and the intro text says, 'This isn't even a game, this is just a recruitment video for the Ku Klux Klan', I'd be like, 'Eh, if the soundtrack's good'.
But when I see a POTATO in a medieval video game it makes my fucking blood boil."
But when I see a POTATO in a medieval video game it makes my fucking blood boil."
— Kilian Experience', "Potatoes in Video Games offend me"
Malgosia: Don't forget about pure happiness!
Agatha: Oh God, I know! Get out, you retard!
Malgosia: YOU ARE A RETARD! But I love you anyway.
Agatha: Oh God, I know! Get out, you retard!
Malgosia: YOU ARE A RETARD! But I love you anyway.
— Kraina Grzybow
Nostalgia Critic: [This movie has] mediocre special effects that you're more likely to see in one of Linkara's videos!
Linkara: HEY!
NC: Get over it, comic geek, your special effects suck.
Linkara: Bat-Credit Card.
NC: THE BAT-CREDIT CARD?! [Angrish]
Linkara: HEY!
NC: Get over it, comic geek, your special effects suck.
Linkara: Bat-Credit Card.
NC: THE BAT-CREDIT CARD?! [Angrish]
— The Nostalgia Critic, review of Superman IV: The Quest for Peace
Dr. Eggman: MUDKIP_CAPTAIN asks, "To Shadow: How's..." Oh no...Ohhhhh no. I'm not asking this one.
Sonic: Oh, come on, it can't be that bad! Let me see that... "To Shadow: How's Maria..." Oh...oh yikes...
Shadow: MUDKIP_CAPTAIN, was it? Now you've angered me. Welcome to the list. It's a very special list of very special people. I look forward to crossing your name off it someday.
Sonic: RUN WHILE YOU CAN!
"HAVE YOU BEEN TALKING ABOUT MY FUCKING DICK AGAIN!? OH MY GOD! WHEN I SEE YOU, IT'S ON SIGHT! IT IS ON. SI—"''
— Dr. Eggman, Real-Time Fandub: Sonic Adventure 2
Téa: Listen, you creepy old man... penguin... thing, I'm not going to duel you and that's final!
Crump: Friendship suuuuucks.
Téa: Oh, it is on in a manner similar to that of Donkey Kong!
Crump: Friendship suuuuucks.
Téa: Oh, it is on in a manner similar to that of Donkey Kong!
Weevil: Master Dartz was kind enough to give me the card containing Yugi's soul. I'd thought you'd appreciate being reunited with him before I destroy you!
Yami: The only reunion that's about to happen is my size ten with your buttocks!
Téa: Pharaoh, don't antagonize him!
Yami: Come on, Téa; it's Weevil! What's the worst he could—
[Weevil rips up the card]
Yami: Okay, yeah. That's the worst he could do.
Weevil: Hahahahaha! Don't worry, Pharaoh; it was just a prank! I don't know where Yugi's soul really is! But I know where yours is going to be once Poison Butterfly drains the last of your Life Points!
Yami: You know, it really is a shame. If Yugi were here, he might have been able to prevent me.
Weevil: Prevent you from what?
Yami: From doing this! I activate Berserker Soul! Now, I must keep drawing cards! And for every monster card I draw, Breaker attacks! But what are the odds that I'll draw a monster card?
Weevil: Heheh, this sucks...
Yami: DURO! MONSUTA KAADO! [proceeds to go to town on Weevil]
Yami: The only reunion that's about to happen is my size ten with your buttocks!
Téa: Pharaoh, don't antagonize him!
Yami: Come on, Téa; it's Weevil! What's the worst he could—
[Weevil rips up the card]
Yami: Okay, yeah. That's the worst he could do.
Weevil: Hahahahaha! Don't worry, Pharaoh; it was just a prank! I don't know where Yugi's soul really is! But I know where yours is going to be once Poison Butterfly drains the last of your Life Points!
Yami: You know, it really is a shame. If Yugi were here, he might have been able to prevent me.
Weevil: Prevent you from what?
Yami: From doing this! I activate Berserker Soul! Now, I must keep drawing cards! And for every monster card I draw, Breaker attacks! But what are the odds that I'll draw a monster card?
Weevil: Heheh, this sucks...
Yami: DURO! MONSUTA KAADO! [proceeds to go to town on Weevil]
Western Animation
"Call me Dottie, and you die."
— Dot Warner, Animaniacs
"Hey! I know you're upset, but if you ever mention my mother's loins or their frothiness to me again... I don't know what I'll do, but it will be bad!"
— Sterling Archer, Archer
Jim Gordon: What in the name of heaven did you think you were doing?!
Harvey Dent: I don't know. I guess he just pushed the right button.
Gordon: That's one heck of a button.
Harvey Dent: I don't know. I guess he just pushed the right button.
Gordon: That's one heck of a button.
"Donald's anger issues stem from a fear that the world is out to get him and that no one understands him, quite literally. His tendency to lash out was wildly unfocused, until you kids came along. He came to me wanting to be the best parent he could, so he channelled that anger into protective instincts. Every outburst is Donald wanting to protect his family. He loves you so much the thought of anything bad happening to you infuriates him."
— Jones on the subject of Donald Duck, DuckTales (2017)
Dipper: Just gotta splash this sucker with some anointed water, and he should be out of your... probably fake blonde hair.
Pacifica: What was that about my hair?
Pacifica: What was that about my hair?
"Sorry, Core, [Trina] dissed the band! Nobody disses the band."
— Laney Penn, Grojband, "Queen Bee"
"I was stuck in an elevator and I had to listen to forty-one and a half minutes OF ELEVATOR MUSIC!"
— Corey Riffin, Grojband, "Love in a Nethervator"
Audrey: Girl stuff’s not lame.
Melvin: Sure it is. Take glitter. Infinitely lame. You’ll probably get glitter all up in this.
Lotta: Glitter is magic and YOU KNOW IT!!! *roars angrily and tosses the Bloogey Boys off the couch they’re fighting over*
Yumi: Why are you so upset over those dumb little toys?
Ami: They're not dumb! They're Huggle Buddies, AND I WANT THEM!
Ami: They're not dumb! They're Huggle Buddies, AND I WANT THEM!
"Nobody... nobody spikes my system!"
— Wade, Kim Possible
Grog: ...Wait! No! Oh, gods, no! WHAT IS THIS HELL?!
Keeper Yennen: Thanks to the Briarwoods, all of our resources are dwindling... including ale.
Grog: I WILL FUCKING MURDER EVERYONE!
Keeper Yennen: Thanks to the Briarwoods, all of our resources are dwindling... including ale.
Grog: I WILL FUCKING MURDER EVERYONE!
"APPLEJACK! YOU PINKIE PROMISED!"
— Pinkie Pie, My Little Pony: Friendship Is Magic
"You do not believe friendship is in your nature? That is NOT acceptable!"
— Tree of Harmony (as Twilight Sparkle), My Little Pony: Friendship Is Magic
"I do not believe this! I wasted all this time in a class without grades? Aohhhhh! If only there were some other kind of outlet for me to express these feelings to my like-minded peer group! ...Pardon me! I want to try something!"
— Baljeet, Phineas and Ferb, "The Baljeatles"
The Master of the Hunt: Destroy the men and throw the fat female in the pot.
The Scotsman's Wife: Fat!? FAT!?! I'M NOT FAT! I'M STOUT!
The Scotsman's Wife: Fat!? FAT!?! I'M NOT FAT! I'M STOUT!
Ashi: By Aku's will, you will die in here! There is no hope for you, foolish samurai! Aku is the Master of Masters and will end you! Your death is certain! Aku desires it! Aku has made a world of wonders and you have soiled it! Whatever you have planned for me, I will never buckle, never waver! Aku is the father of all fathers! His greatness cannot be measured! You are a parasite, Samurai, feeding off Aku's generosity! Aku, my master, this fool knows not of your greatness, your kindness, your understanding!
Jack: ENOUGH! Every thing, every word, every thought that you know is wrong! Aku — Aku is the one who has laid waste to the beauty of this land! He has destroyed mother nature! Where do you think we are?! Aku has summoned these monstrosities into our world, and they feed off of his carnage!
Jack: ENOUGH! Every thing, every word, every thought that you know is wrong! Aku — Aku is the one who has laid waste to the beauty of this land! He has destroyed mother nature! Where do you think we are?! Aku has summoned these monstrosities into our world, and they feed off of his carnage!
"Compare me to Family Guy again and so help me, I will kill you where you stand!"
— Eric Cartman, South Park
SpongeBob: You're going down, tubby!
Patrick: Tubby...? (growls while SpongeBob looks scared) NOBODY CALLS ME TUBBY! (punches SpongeBob)
SpongeBob: Wait, Patrick! You're supposed to let me win, remember?
Patrick: Oh yeah.
Patrick: Tubby...? (growls while SpongeBob looks scared) NOBODY CALLS ME TUBBY! (punches SpongeBob)
SpongeBob: Wait, Patrick! You're supposed to let me win, remember?
Patrick: Oh yeah.
"Did I mention how much I hate bugs?"
— Raphael, Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles (2003), Episode 47
"Don't call me pretty. The last guy who called me pretty ended up looking a lot less pretty."
— Duncan, Total Drama Action, "Riot on Set"
"You painted my paint job! Prepare for surgery!"
— Knock Out, Transformers: Prime
Real Life
"Everyone is a reactionary about subjects he understands."
— Professor Robert Conquest
"There are three surefire ways to get punched: in Italy, claiming the women are not beautiful, in England, claiming the English are not free, and in Germany, that sauerkraut is not food fit for the gods."
— Alexandre Dumas, The Great Dictionary of Cuisine
"It is not the expert thrust of Athos nor the cold skill of Aramis nor the iron wrist of Porthos that we have to fear — it is the Gascon's fury — the wild and unacademic attack of the troubadour — the sword of D'Artagnan."
— O. Henry, The Last of the Troubadours
"Above all else, the devil can not stand to be mocked.”
