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Funny / Proton Jon Fortune Cookie 2018

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Return to the main Fortune Cookie page here.
  • Fortune Cookie: First Cookie of 2018, Last Stream Before MAGfest Edition
    • Jon manages to start 2018 on a high note before the stream even begins. To put a long story short, in the time between the last stream and the start of this one, Jon went out to a hockey game with Joscelyn and some of his other friends and decided to buy hot dogs at one point. Apparently Jon looked so silly holding the hot dogs that his friends had him recreate it so that Joscelyn could take a photo of it; Jon, knowing what they were planning, burst into laughter, leaving us with this result. Discord went insane over it, spending the next three days posting photoshops of it, all of which Jon highlighted during an intermission. It reached meme status so quickly that it even got its own fanart.
  • High Risk Fortune Cookie: Lady Luck's Revenge Edition note 
    • Pre-stream: Stan rallies chat to start posting pictures of people and objects in cardboard boxes with the #ProtonSoapBoxDerby, in celebration of the announcement of Nintendo Labo. Jon reacts accordingly.
      Jon: [completely deadpan] "Also, I would like to ask, what the fuck happened on my Twitter feed? What the hell is the '#ProtonSoapBoxDerby'?"
    • Jon got Adventures of Dino Riki, and it was as terrible as he remembered. In particular, he struggles with the game's awful platforming sections, dying over and over on the first world - and then Ryan looks up info on the game and finds out that it apparently gets much more difficult on world 4.
      Ryan: "World 4 is four stages with no checkpoints."
      Jon: "W-WHAT!? That is SO STUPID!"
      Stan: "This is a good game."
    • The cookie selecting Super Troll Islands, and one of the first search results a co-comm found when looking for info was the Nightmare Fuel page for Game Grumps.
      • Jon is actually shocked that there was a dearth of information about the game, like how many levels there are and strategy guides. He ends up asking the chat to look for info about the game.
    • Jon rolls the next game; Ryan is hoping for a good game, but Stan and Jon tell him to never expect something good from the cookie. What does Jon roll?
      Jon: [cracks up] "Final Fantasy VIII!"
      Stan: "Oh my God..."
      Ryan: "Oh, okay. Cool! This is gonna be fun!"
      Jon: [continues laughing] "We're doin' it! We're doin' it! RPGs are allowed, boys and girls!"
      • Jon proceeds to spend the entire time playing Triple Triad in an attempt to bankrupt himself.
    • Jon got a scare when his Twitter account was locked due to a tweet violating Twitter's Terms of Service. The tweet in question was from 2011.
  • Fortune Cookie: STAMOS!!! Edition
  • Fortune Cookie: Stopped Playing DBZ Fighterz for Some Reason Edition
    • During Ninja Gaiden 3 Jon tells a story of when he cosplayed a character from Baiten Kaitos and won an award. One of the Co-coms says "pics or it didn't happen" and one of the people watching the stream manages to find the old pics of Jon's cosplays and a pic of Jon back when he graduated college. This briefly results in "22-Year-Old Jon" overtaking "18-Year-Old Jon" as a meme.
    • Related to the above, the Pleather Gundam.
    • Jon plays Rocket Power: Beach Bandits.
      • There was another person also streaming the game called Mintbearycrunch.
    • There are multiple donations from Woahken Crash Bandicoot making fun of Matt Hardy's character while merging it with the Crash Bandicoot "woah" meme.
    • Jon plays Harvest Moon 64 and names his character "❤farmo", his farm "⭐Dudeo", and his dog "🐾🐾🐾~🐾&".
      • Before the game starts, TallManStan mentions grabbing a blanket and pillow, seemingly joking at the fact that they are playing a farming sim, which are typically boring to watch. Partway through the game, Jon and Myo realize that Stan has stopped responding, leading them to believe that he actually fell asleep.
    • Jon plays Neopets: The Darkest Faerie and marvels at the fact that the game actually seems pretty decent. Also, his and the chat's reactions to coming across NPCs voiced by Fred Tatasciore and Steve Blum.
  • High Risk Fortune Cookie: Democracy in Riot Edition
    • The stream is raided five times during the first game alone, with the last two being mini-raids that happen simultaneously.
    • The upper gif in the center of the intermission gif wall is of Rafiki throwing baby Simba off Pride Rock. A donation later that night noted that it occasionally syncs up with its neighbor Jem getting smacked with a snowball hard enough to floor her, painting a lovely image of Rafiki throwing Simba at Jem.
    • The cookie pulls up Garfield: Caught in the Act only for Jon and chat to reroll it because he beat it on stream last year. The next game that comes up? The much better choice of Dokapon Journey for the Nintendo DS.
      • The game shows off The Computer Is a Cheating Bastard, big time. Even on "easy" difficulty. Even with only one AI.
      • The game proves to be quite the gong show for the human-controlled characters as well, with everyone, including the AI, dying at least once. Dan's character in particular manages to stay dead for the majority of the round.
      • At one point, Ryan fights and kills Jon's character and decides to steal his name, which lets him pick a replacement name for Jon. What name does he decide to give him? "Medz."
    • One of the gifs on the intermission wall is of Sailor Jupiter with Waluigi's face. Shortly after Dokapon and at the end of a Twitter showcase, one chat user decides to point out how a tiny bit of Jupiter's butt is visible under her skirt.
    • The final pull of the night is ClayFighter: Tournament Edition. At the request of chat via a Strawpoll, Jon picks Blue Suede Goo and ends up actually doing pretty well as him, with the character's constant shouting of "hey, watch the hair man!" quickly striking a chord in chat, to the point where it becomes the raid message for the night. However, as anyone familiar with Jon knows, No Good Deed Goes Unpunished, and the night very quickly turns into one of the best worst train wrecks in ages.
      • Partway through the game, Jon comes up against Tiny, who very quickly hands Jon's ass to him six ways to Sunday thanks to the game's obscene damage scaling mechanics. It takes a startling amount of tries for Jon to overcome him, only for the following opponents to be just as bad, if not worse... and one of those later opponents is a rematch with Tiny. Because of this, Ryan decides to pull up the tier list for the game, and promptly learns that Blue Suede Goo happens to be the lowest-ranked fighter on it. Jon appropriately decides to switch to the higher-ranked Blob at one point, but after some matches ends up going back to Blue Suede Goo anyways thanks to him being the only fighter Jon knows how to handle.
      • Once Jon reaches the final boss of the game, the appropriately-named N. Boss, he immediately knows what kind of gong show to anticipate thanks to chat informing him that he's somehow worse than Tiny, only for N. Boss to blindside him anyways and destroy him within seconds. Jon eventually manages to defeat N. Boss, at which point he learns that the guy has an insta-kill attack.
      • After conquering that steaming train of nonstop bullshit, Jon decides to detox with some Dragon Ball Fighter Z, only for his copy of the Steam version to take a suspiciously long amount of time to load. He thinks nothing of it once the game boots up, until it suddenly locks up on the next loading screen. So he decides to try the Xbox One version instead... and it outright crashes on him, also during a loading screen. What's more, when Jon tries to show off the error message signifying the crash, his capture card decides to stop working. Jon, understandably quite pissed, quickly decides to go to intermission to vent about it, at which point the stream itself goes down for apparently no reason. And just to put the constipated poop pellet cherry on the shit sundae, once Jon manages to get stream back up, sorts everything out, and finally starts up the Xbox One version of FighterZ, the Xbox One itself craps out on him. Jon sums up the night quite succinctly on Twitter:
      Jon: "Let's not speak of tonight."
  • Fortune Cookie: ...And Now, Videogames Edition
    • The starting game of the night was Donkey Kong 3... that took all of 6 minutes to beat because of how short it is. And it was put into #8 of the 64, to boot, due to him beating Donkey Kong, and Donkey Kong Jr..
      • Jon also admitted that for the longest time, he thought the game was a bootleg due to scarcity, the protagonist being named Stanley, and the game in general.
      • Jon briefly pulls a Let Us Never Speak of This Again regarding the previous stream. He says that he's over it, but then notes his voice betrayed his words.
      • Naturally, TallManStan asks in chat if he's the protagonist.
      • In stage 4, Jon gets killed as soon as he picked up the powerup.
    • After that, Jon gets a Cookie with Apocalypse: Starring Bruce Willis, and Hatsune Miku: Project DIVA F (or as Jon likes to call it, "Project D-Vaff"). Needless to say, the two games locked horns with great intensity, leading to some rather fun crossover fanart, up to and including Rosie's drawing of Miku with a bazooka.
      • After going to Intermission, Jon lampshapes at it being the fastest he had to pull up the Intermission wall that isn't the result of something crashing.
      • Jon had an unusually hard time getting available co-coms due to them either tied up with work, doing their own streams, or watching Dragon Ball Super, with Solar joking that they were on strike. Jon joked he could have just done the stream by himself, then realized he should have done it as a way to avoid mod choices.
      • Solar then tells chat that he has a new cat. Named Loki. Everyone but Stan began saying it was a bad idea naming a cat after the Norse God of Mischief.
      • The first donation of the night read that he beat Battletoads and was looking for another game to kick his ass with, and picked Ninja Gaiden due to Jon, and gives him all the vitriol. Cue an incredulous Jon remarking the apparent double think.
    • Jon plays Pac-Man 2: The New Adventures, and wastes no time showing off how gigantic of an asshole Pac-Man can be when he's in a certain mood. This quickly turns sour in the best worst way possible when Jon accidentally gives Pac-Man manic depression and nearly softlocks himself.
    • Virtual-ON Oratorio Tangram appears on the cookie again.
    • An egg video is played based on a commercial the Muppets put out for crumpets. Highlights include Chuggaaconroy's face being pasted onto Fozzie when he makes a pun, the facetious "translator's notes" ("TL Note: 'Crumpet' means 'egg' in British") and at the end when, after Statler and Waldorf make their standard riff, the video turns monochrome and zooms in on Kermit's face, while a slowed down version of The Rainbow Connection plays and the infamous "God is dead" quote from Nietzsche's "The Madman" flashes on screen.
    • A user named Stay_Hydrated_Bot comes to chat pointing out how much water Jon should've drank by then, and Jon isn't sure if it is a real bot or not. It is. You can ACTUALLY send it to remind streamers to stay hydrated. One of the viewers checked and decided that it shouldn't be banned because it is an AWESOME bot and not like the normal bots on the channel. Though it was and the same viewer found out what stay_hydrated_bot was based off of: memes of speedruns of Baiten Kaitos, specifically the 100% runs
      • Later, a deluge of less-awesome bots showed up at once and started spamming intentionally inflammatory anti-Donald Trump messages in chat (something which Jon expresses confusion at, considering he's Canadian and still living in Calgary), prompting one of the mods to lock chat to sub-only mode to filter out the spam. Somebody quickly gifted Stay_Hydrated_Bot a sub to make sure it could still post in chat and remind Jon to stay hydrated.
    • The stream goes down temporarily, which causes the bottom left Spider-Man gif on the Intermission wall and only that gif to freeze. Almost poetically, it depicts Spider-Man standing in a room on fire.
    • Jon plays Golf With Your Friends and one of the devs donates.
      • This after GWYF caused the aforementioned stream downtime, ate up most of Jon's CPU due to poor optimization on his graphics card, cranked-to-max default settings, and several bizarre glitches that only Jon could find. Little wonder why he opens up the donation apologizing.
  • Fortune Cookie: Thrown To The Hounds Edition
    • The first game of the night ends up being a car mechanic simulation game on Steam; Jon promptly enters full Jeremy Clarkson mode, ripping damn near everything off of the car, dicking around with the various functions in the computer, overfilling the car with oil, and calling it a day. And then someone in chat sends Jon the most recent version of the game, in which it's possible to game over by doing exactly that.
    • One of the GIFS on the wall is Emile's Hiker Dance
    • Apparently Jon still has yet to find his missing Taiko Drumstick.
    • During the next cookie, a licensed Wii game based on Casper's Scare School pops up on the cookie; while it loses to a game that the co-comms agree is in very poor taste, it manages to win the next cookie out of sympathy alone... and it turns out to be just as piss-poor as Jon anticipated. Some particular highlights includes the disturbingly stiff character models, one of the minigames involving egg balancing of all things, and Jon's frustration at the fact that the minigame with the most amusing-sounding name is unlocked last.
    • One of the games is Dragon Ball Fighter Z, already notorious for its constant connection issues. Things start off on a particular high note with a match between Jon and Jewker, in which Jewker gets disconnected in the middle of the match, allowing Jon to wail on his party nonstop. The best part? The game counted that as a win, prize Zeni and all!
      • Later, Jon's controller suddenly goes haywire on him when in the lobby, and eventually manages to glitch the game so badly that Jon can't even close out of it for a bit. Come the next game, Jon learns that his USB hub itself crapped out on him because of that glitch.
    • The final game of the night is a Genesis game based on Mighty Morphin Power Rangers: The Movie; Jon manages to get quite a number of laughs out of it because of the fact that a startlingly high amount of levels are just flashbacks to the TV show, with hardly any of it actually being taken from the movie (while simultaneously being more faithful to the film than the SNES game).
      • Throughout the stream, Jon manages to get attacked three times by hordes of bots spamming "fake Americans" and other nationalistically-charged troll statements, with chat temporarily going into sub-only mode each time. The third time this happens is during the Power Rangers game, and once sub only mode gets switched off, Elliot promptly expresses disappointment that nobody in chat recited Rita Repulsa's "after 10,000 years I'm free!" line.
      • Rewinding back, Jon was suffering from a string of rerolls because he kept getting strategy games, getting annoyed quite quickly... only to roll up Superman 64.
      • Crossing over with Moment of Awesome, the very fact that the game managed to be on the exact same cookie as Superman 64 of all games... AND WON! It started in second place, then gained steady steam, as if chat wanted to keep the game played only within an LP, then manages to overtake it and push for a 2% difference, preventing Superman 64 from getting the 1% Pity Cookie slot next Cookie!
    • After all was said and done, Jon then realized he didn't have a game for Game Clearing the following Monday, forcing him to go for Mod Choice Game Clearing. And guess what happened on Monday...ORBS!
  • High Risk Fortune Cookie: Friday Edition
    • After the... experience... that was the last stream, this stream starts off with Ms. Pac-Man: Maze Madness for the Nintendo 64. While the game turns out to be mostly uneventful, the unusually sultry "yeah" voice clip that occurs whenever Ms. Pac-Main gains an extra life manages to catch on with chat.
    • Dan manages to return as a co-com even after taking so much shit over Orbs-3D; he doesn't stay on for very long.
    • Bahamut Lagoon, oh boy. Despite being an RPG, the game manages to become a group favorite quite quickly due to a variety of odd quirks with the fan translation. Among other tidbits, there's Jon's sheer joy at the fact that "Salmando" is the default name of the fire dragon, the unusually quippy text options in scenes, and the fact that one of the items in the game is A PORN MAGAZINE. And this was from a translation that Tomato* of all people worked on. Needless to say, fanartists grabbed this ball and ran with it like no tomorrow.
      • Even better is when Jon decides to feed one of his dragons the porno mag and learns that, when used in-battle, it casts sleep magic of all things.
      • Jon has fun changing the dragons' names (except Salmando). An NPC tells him a number of popular choices for dragon names, ending with 'the name of a girl you like'. When Jon finds the default name for the white dragon is "Molten", he promptly changes it to "Moltres", only for Jewker to ask "Is that the name of a girl you like?"
    • One of the games pulled up on the cookie is Resident Evil 4: Wii Edition. While the game mostly treads old ground at this point, it manages to stand out due to it bearing the typical Wii motion control jank, leading to the rather interesting sights of Leon constantly making swimming motions and stabbing everything in plain sight.
      • Then there's the scene right after the prologue, featuring Leon reciting the So Bad, It's Good line "Where's everyone going? Bingo?" after seeing a horde of malevolent villagers hobble into a church. Jon prepares himself to laugh once again at the sheer stupidity of the line, only for Khead to talk over it (in part due to the delay between what Jon sees in front of him and what co-coms see on-stream). Jon understandably gets quite pissed at this and is sent an audio recording of the line as compensation... only for MasterTimeThief to interrupt that. It doesn't take long for chat to compare it to the Cranky Kong incident in Donkey Kong Country Returns.
  • Fortune Cookie: Dangerous As Always Edition
    • The first game pulled on cookie is Kids on Site, an FMV game for the Sega CD by Digital Pictures (of Night Trap fame). The game instantly catches Jon and chat's attention once he hears the description of it, and it manages to far surpass anyone's expectations by being as unashamedly over-the top as possible. Among other things, everyone manages to take a liking to the amount of mayhem one can inflict on Nuts, to the point where half of chat actively begins calling for his blood.
      • Afterwards, they look up Nuts' actor on IMDb and find out his only other acting credit is in a cheap 80's sex comedy called Stewardess School, which also starred Rob Paulsen, something that Jon sadly overlooked.
    • The next game is Flying Nightmares, a flight simulator for the 3DO. While a good chunk of chat is initially salty about it beating out Super Mario Sunshine, they manage to get on-board very quickly from how janky it is; the fact that Jon starts the game off by driving off the runway and into the ocean is pretty telling.
    • The game right after Flying Nightmares is Pilotwings 64; the game isn't as eventful as one would expect, but it still manages to feature a few highlights. In particular, there's the unusually suggestive-sounding "oh yeeeeah" Robin makes when picked, and the end result of Jon attempting to land the bird suit.
    • The last game of the night is Spongebob Squarepants Battle For Bikini Bottom, which, while mostly plain by Fortune Cookie standards, still manages to offer some entertainment in the form of Jon's constant snarking about the game's set design and poorly-aged graphics, the game's already good writing, and the game's very unconvincing substitute for Clancy Brown as Mr. Krabs.
  • Fortune Cookie: How Weird Can We Go Edition
    • The 3DS port of Metal Gear Solid 3 wins a Cookie, only for the game's infamously long cutscenes to ensure that Jon is 20 minutes into his 30 minute play window before he even gets to play at all... briefly... and then a round of codecs intervenes. When he finally finishes those, his 30 minutes are up so his first real play action is to kill Snake.
    • However, he then decides to play on when he finds that he can use the 3DS camera to make his own camouflage for Snake (with Raiden's head), and uses a photo he took of his stream showing his logo endlessly repeating into 'The Void'.
    • During Super Monkey Ball Deluxe, Jon tells the story of when he fell asleep while playing one of the Gundam games, and somehow ended up beating several levels in his sleep.
  • Fortune Cookie: In Defense of Eggs Edition
    • While Jon himself was pretty on edge at the start due to unfortunate timing of the Splatfest and a particular blowup due to his Berserk Button getting pressed, fans knew immediately how to cheer him up; by spamming him with his new $25 alert which is an edited version of the Thunderbirds intro countdown, which each ship having the number 5 instead of the classic "5, 4, 3, 2, 1!" countdown. He got so many of that donation that it actually broke the notification for a while! Jon and his co-coms found this hilarious.
      Jewker: "Why do all of you have such a disposable income!?"
    • All of the games played during this stream were Nintendo games, and two of them were Mario games. A rather monumental coincidence already, but what makes this even funnier is that this stream took place on March 10th, which Nintendo had dubbed MAR10 Day.
    • Jon plays the Game Boy Advance NES Classics port of the original Super Mario Bros, which at first seems like nothing memorable. However, while playing stage 1-2 he suddenly realizes that the much smaller screen size of the GBA compared to the NES's internal resolution results in noticeably compressed, Off-Model sprites. The biggest offender happens to be Small Mario's sprite, in which his head is crushed into his torso, giving the appearance of him not having a neck. Fans promptly sent in tons of fanart of no-neck Mario and other characters, with the results ranging from gonky to outright Nightmare Fuel.
    • At the urging of a chat member who recently had a bad experience with this person, Jon tells the story of AbdallahSmash, a Youtube Let's Player with a substantial case of Small Name, Big Ego, who years ago was a contestant on Thrown Controllers. Upon stepping up to the mic, he introduced himself by plugging his Youtube channel and then handing a business card for said channel to Emile. When Jon tried to signal him to get a move on with the game, Abdallah then assumed that Jon also wanted a business card. Laser-Guided Karma then hit this guy in quite a few ways, most of which Jon admits were intentionally invoked by him. First off, after the panel, Jon showed the business card he was given to the guys behind Retsupurae, making him a prime target for them. Second, during the panel, Abdallah rolled a video game challenge where he had to get the first Chaos Emerald in Sonic 1. They meant to have the contestant start in the Special Stage, but accidentally forgot to create a save state for it. Instead of letting Abdallah roll a different challenge, Jon decided to give him the extra stipulation of having to clear Green Hill Zone Act 1 with 50 rings, which he failed at due to screwing around too much.
  • Fortune Cookie: Small Steps To Big Things Edition
    • The stream starts off with a rather amusing instance of Mood Whiplash when Jon gets both a 5 Alert and a raid in quick succession, right when he's attempting to discuss the issues that led him to take the week off; Jon and chat alike can't help but laugh at the Contrived Coincidence.
    • During Splatoon 2 Jon and the co-comms have a discussion on how the Switch supports the Wii U adapter that allows the use of nonstandard controllers, with Jon joking that someone will try to play Dark Souls with the Donkey Konga bongo controller. Later the chat informs him that someone played Overwatch with a microwave oven.
    • At one point, the commentators got into a discussion about how many channels on Twitch have emotes of Chuggaaconroy. They came up with 4. (Jon, Lucahjin, Marilland and NintendoCapriSun)
    • During Wonder Boy III: The Dragon's Trap, the topic of the Roseanne revival comes up. Jon promptly expresses his bewilderment at the fact, given the series's rather infamous final season, in which the whole series gets Denser and Wackier after Roseanne wins the lottery, except she never did and just made that all up to cope with Dan's death from a heart attack. Jon then mentions how the revival plans to handle this: Roseanne wakes up in bed, turns to Dan, who's alive and well, and tells him she thought he was dead, prompting Dan to complain that people keep thinking he's dead, which sends Tom and MTT into utter hysterics.
      Jon: "Yo, what I'm saying is The '90s were fucking weird, dude."
    • Jon accidentally sets off the Fibbage music when he has problems with switching his camera views to show a video, and refers to it as the 'fixing music'. This keeps popping up again and again as a Running Gag throughout the stream, with him playing it (accidentally or on purpose) every time a camera change goes wrong.
  • Fortune Cookie: Happy Easter Edition
    • This stream marks the debut of a glorious new joke alert: Captain Falcon failing the standard slot machine and shouting one of his Star-KO groans from Super Smash Bros. before the animation goes monochrome and zooms in to the tune of "The Lonely Man". Chat wastes no time in spamming the fuck out of it for the duration of the stream.
    • Considering this stream took place on the eve of April Fools, it makes sense that this stream was filled to the brim with tech issues, miscellaneous mess-ups, and even Twitch itself dying for a moment. Fittingly, Jon seemed to be the only one not surprised by this.
      Jon: "The real April Fools would be when everything goes right for once."
    • Jon gets raided five times over the course of the first game and intermission. After the final set of countermeasures, Jon forgets to turn his mic back on, leaving the commentary is muted through the entire first intermission— including the introduction of the co-commentators and the reading of donations. After realizing that they were muted the whole time, Jon sheepishly moves on to the next game.
    • The second game of the night is Grand Theft Auto Advance. Everyone's astonishment that a game like Grand Theft Auto could even be playable on the system is amusing enough, but what particularly highlights the round is Jon accidentally driving into the ocean because he was too busy looking at a raid.
      • During the round, Jon comes to the discovery of the Game Boy Color port of the original game and decides to play it right after GTA Advance. Turns out, where the GBA port of GTA kicks ass, the GBC port sucks ass. Case in point, the game uses tank controls to move your character.
    • Jon reading through the computer opponent names for Virtual Pool 64. Every. Single. One. Is a pun, verging into "The Many Nicknames of Dave Ryder" territory, as chat was apt to compare it to. Particular mention goes to how Jon, the co-comms and the chat all simultaneously did a 180 on their opinion of the game purely because of all the opponent names.
    • Midway through the stream, Jon's Discord mods decided that it would be a brilliant idea to change their names and icons to various joke-misnomers, much to Jon's consternation. Then most of the normal users start changing their names and icons to Medz's.
    • The chat somehow managed to get both Crazy Taxi 2 and Digimon All-Stars Arena at a perfect vote-by-vote tie on the Strawpoll. Logically, Jon came to the conclusion that the only reasonable course of action was to play both games at the same time. This goes about as well as you'd expect.
    • For the final game of the night, after the madness that occurred with two games, Jon pulls out the big reveal: April Fools! It's Misfortune Cookie time!
      • Insult to injury for the chat? Multiple. He announces this after Resident Evil 5 already hit about 30% of the votes, that he had been planning this for months, and that RE5 even showed up at all to bait it was an utter fluke.
      • And the punchline? The cookie gets a three-way 11% tie, leaving Jon utterly flabbergasted. Darkwatch ended up winning.
  • Fortune Cookie: Of Course Everything Broke While I Was Away Edition
    • Jon hits the ground running by showing off Pizza Titan Ultra about a week or two early due to winning a copy at PAX and just loves how corny and absurd the concept is, which can quickly be summed up as "Crazy Taxi meets pizza delivery and mechs".
    • This piano rendition of the raid countermeasures video, complete with Sad Falcon at the end.
    • While it'd need to be trimmed down a bit for Jon to actually use it, the Thundermeasures are WAH raid countermeasures video.
    • The stream title ended up being prophetic, as his Retron 5 ends up dying when he goes to start playing Base Wars.
      • A quick note on the concept behind Base Wars itself: it's baseball, but with cyborg players that can and will destroy each other if a force-out or put-out happens.
  • Fortune Cookie: Merry Frogmas Everyone! Edition
    • Jon gets raided EIGHT TIMES IN 1.5 HOURS. One chat user even started a timer between raids.
      SerenaYvonneGabena: Three minutes =D
      • That being said, about half of them were mini raids, to the point Jon put his foot down when there was difficulties authenticating several of them and demanded they do the Raid command to prevent potential fake raids getting the video.
    • Worms Armageddon pops up on the cookie and wins by a vast majority. Hilarity Ensues.
      • Particularly funny was when the mods try to set up a Kermit's Sandwich-themed map. It took two attempts, both hilarious in their own right.
      • On that note, both maps feature an Easter Egg of 18-Year-Old Jon hidden in the corner.
    • Dalton's Magnum Opus.
    • The Countermeasures got the dud.
  • High Risk Fortune Cookie: "What'll It Be Tonight?" Edition
    • When Jon gets to the cookie for the second game of the night, he mentions how there are games that will be autovetoed: games that are rhythm-based and games that will mute the VOD. The cookie pulls Guitar Hero 5 after the explanation, to Jon's chagrin, forcing him to veto it.
    • After Jon tells Tom that he can do mod choices for Jon's game clearing streams, he starts going through Jon's backloggery to figure out what to choose. Some games that Tom notes are marked as unbeaten prompt confusion from Jon, in particular Turtles in Time. Then Tom realizes he's actually been looking at his own backloggery the entire time.
    • The final game of the night is a Jeopardy!/Wheel of Fortune combo pack for the PS4; while the game turns out to be relatively tame (at least by Jon-playing-Wheel-of-Fortune standards), it does manage to garner a good amount of laughs when a trivia point on the first loading screen displays its coding address instead of the actual trivia. The phrase "#Trivia_Title_52" quickly becomes the raid message for the night.
  • Fortune Cookie: Last Cookie Before TRG Colosseum Charity Marathon Edition
    • The Game Sharks challenge is the first played. Let's just say it isn't the BEST game...
    • Ninja Gaiden 2 has a character who looks eerily similar to Duke Nukem. Cue the next game being picked being the ORIGINAL Duke Nukem game.
    • Jon dying to the same Slime in Zelda 2 three times, prompting a fake stream ending.
    • The final game of the night is Quarterback Attack, an Interactive Movie football game that ends depicting the sport in a very interesting way.
  • Fortune Cookie: Home For an ENTIRE WEEK! Edition
    • In a somewhat milder variant of the "State of..." and "ONE MOTHERFUCKING DOLLAR" incidents from streams past, this stream sees Jon constantly hounded by $100+ donations under an increasingly ridiculous cavalcade of donor names.
    • While playing a round of Pikmin, Jon decides to rattle off a bunch of stories from the previous weekend's TRG charity marathon, ranging from the flippant to the downright terrifying. One memorable story consists of him describing how the whole affair with the lamp during days two and three had been a worked show from the start, with a whole whodunit subplot being planned out; however, things apparently went off the rails pretty quickly thanks to Tom's "Lord Donator" character being made up by him on the spot, and solely because he happened to come downstairs in his robe to check out what was going on in the living room.
      • Related to the above story is Jon's admission that the only reason why Josh was blamed for the lamp's disappearance on day 2 was because he slept in too late.
    • The final game of the night is The Hurricane of the Varstray -Collateral hazard-, a Japanese Shoot 'Em Up game on Steam that quickly strikes a chord with chat thanks to its So Bad, It's Good Translation Train Wreck. Jon particularly falls in love with the exaggerated rivalry between the pilot he picked (Miho) and the Russian pilot Tatiana, which includes such gems as Miho shouting "you bitch!" after the much larger-breasted Tatiana asks her what her cup size is out of the blue, and Miho frequently calling Tatiana a "dickweed". The game's eccentric writing ends up being so funny to Jon that he devotes the entire second half of the stream to completing Miho's story mode.
      • On the character selection screen, Jon and co-comms joke about Tatiana's facial expression making her look slightly drunk. They were absolutely right: her main character trait is being a Vodka Drunkenski. Jon even refers to her as such on one occasion.
      • One person in chat points out that the pilot Wilma Thoreau◊ looks like Rule 63 Jon. This leads another user to make their best attempt at actual Rule 63 art of Jon, which they outright admit is just a "lame-ass knockoff" of Mai Minakami.
  • Fortune Cookie: "Only Desynched By 9 Minutes" Edition
  • Fortune Cookie: Burning Down Everything Edition
    • After Jon spent the last week fixing tech issues on his new computer, a Windows 10 update messed everything up again. So how does Jon open the stream?
      Jon: [HUGE sigh] "God dammit. Fuck."
    • When co-comms join for the second game, Jon introduces himself as though he's a co-comm.
    • The amazing game known as Fox Hunt returns, and the good news is that it didn't crash where it did last time! The bad news is that the level right after, the Hospital, is a maze from hell with multiple floors, no real sense of where you have to go, and cutscenes that honestly should have been rated beforehand. It takes Jon nearly 20 MINUTES to get out of!
    • The Running Gag of the co-comms explaining away every bit of weirdness in Fox Hunt with "Hey, it's California, y'know?"
    • The final game of the night is Hey You, Pikachu!; while being mostly mundane on its own due to its nature as a sim game, Jon manages to get a lot of fun out of playing up Pikachu as a massive jackass for all it's worth and then some.
  • Fortune Cookie: No Travel For A Month Edition
    • Continuing the trend from last episode, there were a lot of remixes of The Muppets Party Cruse, including one that used The Lonely Man and one that ran the lyrics through various text-to-speech voices.
    • When Jon goes to the third cookie of the night, what's the first game that pops up? Action 52 for the Sega Genesis.
      Jon: "Good night, everybody!" [Fake stream ending]
      • The kicker? After Pokken Tournament DX pulls a surprise win, Jon admits he would've preferred Action 52 because he's terrible at Pokken Tournament, as he proceeds to show off.
  • Fortune Cookie: Bad At Sports Edition
    • Jon starts off with Mario Tennis Aces, quickly showing off the start of story mode, which is a good thing, since not only does it give a crash course on the game's new mechanics, but it also features the start of a downright insane Excuse Plot with an odd number of similarities to Avengers: Infinity War.
      • During one match, Jon attempts to show off what he describes as "Waluigi's most powerful skill", only to completely miss the ball altogether. Jon immediately plays the "end of stream" clip without a second thought.
    • While Mega Man 2 proves to be rather passe on its own, Jon still manages to have fun looking through the extras included in the Legacy Collection (via which he is playing the game), with the concept art for some of the scrapped Robot Masters eliciting a sensible chuckle or two. At one point, Jon declares these extras to be better than the actual game.
    • Jon plays 3-player Wheel of Fortune with the co-comms and does his occasional Running Gag of misinterpreting the special prize cutscenes, in this case for a trip to Las Vegas:
      Jon: "What's our prize? IT'S A BUNCH OF LIGHTS!" (Photo of a casino) "It's A BUILDING!" ("$4,450" appears over the photo) "You too can walk inside a building for four thousand four hundred and fifty dollars!"
    • Jon gets salty over the course of the game due to co-comm Taki's habit of randomly picking rare English letters, yet still doing better than Jon himself. This culminates in that player winning, after the random letters he picked for the final puzzle turn out to make the answer obvious. Jon then, of course, interprets the final prize cutscene literally:
      Jon: "You won... PARIS!"
      Dan: "You can go visit Camille!"
      Jon: "You bungee jump off a bridge to your death! ...twice, apparently? I guess it's a flashback!"
      Dan (impersonating Will Smith): "I ain't no bungee expert, but I don't think you're meant to bounce off them rocks like that."
    • One can find quite a bit of amusement in the sheer fact that Jon had to veto Tabletop Simulator for being too boring.
    • Xilehnoc submits a video of Wesker pitching Tier 2 subs for Jon's channel. At one point in the video, the Lonely Man theme plays, but the real kicker is that as Jon's playing it, someone sets off the Sad Falcon donation alert with near perfect timing, causing Xilehnoc to go ballistic in the chat because no one could tell he'd already had that idea.
  • Subscriber's Fortune Cookie: More Control of Fate Than Usual Edition
    • The first cookie of the night's winner is The Game Of Life - Spongebob Squarepants Edition for the PC by a landslide, only for Jon to realize that the game's install media is a CD and his new computer does not have an optical drive. Later, he mentions a discussion in the mod room where they were lamenting on telling Jon not to have the drive installed because "how often do you use the CD drive?" The answer to that question? Three times in the span of a decade! It gets replaced by Shovel Knight: Specter of Torment, which won just as hard.
    • Jon mentions that his nephews have taken an interest in Power Rangers (specifically the Ninja Steel series). When one of the chat members mentions that the Ninja Series "is awful", Jon feels the need to clarify that they're only four. This leads into a rant about how kids that young don't really care about the quality of the show and takes on a nasally voice to show how he WOULD sound if he talked like that to them.
      Commenter: "So you're showing your sister these, right?"
      Jon: "Fuck no."
    • Jon keeps having problems with XSplit (software he uses to stream) freezing up when he changes cameras. At one point he starts yelling at XSplit, only for his Xbox to hear him and turn on, frustrating Jon even more.
      • On the subject of XSplit, it freezes again at the end of the stream, leaving Jon dejected that he isn't able to end the stream showing the raid target or using the End Stream clip. When he attempts to forcibly close XSplit, the End Stream clip suddenly plays, much to his chagrin.
      Jon: "Robocop, I hate you so much right now."
    • On the second cookie, one of the co-comms suggested number 2. The user assigned to that number? Jon himself. He allows it.
      • Jon's choice (from years ago, when he just entered a game to test the spreadsheet, which won from the hilarity of it) was Ninja Gaiden Black. He uses past save files, over a decade old from when his younger self was extremely good at the game, to show off various parts of the game, such as the insane hardest difficulty. Later, he shows off the Alma boss fight, gets damaged, and opens his inventory...to find he has no healing items.
      Jon: "Past Jon, what the fuck?!"
    • Jon manages to accidentally (temporarily) break his chair when the lever slips, tipping him forward onto his desk—as he's trying to explain this to chat, Lucahjin pops up behind him and unintentionally gives him a Jump Scare.
    • The final game of the night is Tony Hawk's Underground, which means the glorious return of Dr Smack Daddy Smurf. Highlights include him jumping over a helicopter while doing a sick trick, and Jon putting him into story mode cutscenes where he gets betrayed by an asshole named Eric—which prompts all the Erics in chat to get offended by association and deny his kinship with them.
  • Fortune Cookie: Internal Screaming Edition
    • Jon starts the night off with Zone of the Enders, a mecha game that Jon cannot stop comparing to Neon Genesis Evangelion simply because of Leo's striking similarities to Shinji in how they act to the point where Leo doesn't want to pilot the mech for similar reasons to Shinji. The donations write themselves, honestly.
      Jon: "Shinji donates and it just says [Screams]."
    • A quick Call-Back from the last cookie stream happens when Jon shows off his desktop background; which is a character from a Power Ranger-styled book he's currently writing.
      MasterTimeThief: "So, what would you say is the draw over this story over something like, say Breaking Bad?"
      Jon: [Immediately breaks out laughing] "Fuck you."
    • Someone sends in a Japanese ad for a beer commercial that mimics the Thunderbirds countdown with 9 repeating, similar to Jon's 5. Jon notes that they didn't do the bit right, as there were only 4 nines.
    • Somehow, Sesame Street 123 for the NES manages to stay in the Cookie three times thanks to it repeatedly falling under the 1% rule. It eventually goes up to eleven when Jon realizes that he's nearing the end of the stream, meaning the game will be on the next Fortune Cookie.
    • While playing Resident Evil 4, Jon asks for his co-coms to be quiet, so he'll be able to hear a line from Leon. He jokes that he's expecting someone to donate during it. And just as the line happens, someone donates and perfectly covers up the line.
      Jon: "Son of a bitch! I called it!"
    • The final game of the night is an old NES version of Wheel of Fortune with particularly goofy avatars. Hilarity Ensues when Jon is reminded that one of the co-comms, MegaGWolf, is British and the show hasn't aired in Britain since 2001, meaning he has no idea what's going on.
  • High Risk Fortune Cookie: "Wait, I Own That?" Edition
    • The first game of the night is Mad Dash Racing. It's... not good.
      DanTheEnigma: "So how was Bad Rats the runner?"
    • Krazy Kreatures is worth noting just from the boxart◊ alone. Everyone was freaked out by it at first and expected the game to be a weird NES horror game, but it turns out to just be a simple puzzle game.
    • Tetris Ultimate shows up on the cookie. Gex asks this question.
      Gex: "Would Tetris be considered a puzzle game?"
      Jon: "...Did-Did you actually just ask that question? Did you actually just ask 'Is Tetris considered a puzzle game?' Tetris."
      Gex: "I dunno..."
      Jon: "The game that basically launched the goddamn genre."
      Dan: "Hmmmmmmm!"
      Gex: "Hey, some people don't consider it a—(unintelligible)"
      Jon: "Tetris."
      Dan: "Well, they're wrong, Gex!"
      Gex: "It's an interesting argument..."
      Jon: "TETRIS."
      Dan: "No, it... What argument is there?!"
      (Gex doesn't respond)
      Dan: "EXACTLY!"
      Jon: "Sorry, Gex, there's literally no argument. Tetris is a puzzle game."
      Gex: "Like I said, I've heard some people argue—"
      Dan: "WELL, THEY'RE WRONG!"
      Jon: "Who the fuck argues that Tetris isn't a puzzle game? Why are they arguing it?"
      • Jon asks what the person's actual argument was. Gex's answer?
        Gex: "Because technically, um... there's really no thought process into it or something?"
        Jon: "WHAT?? No thought process in TETRIS??"
      • Gex admits the person who made that argument was probably high at the time.
      • Once again seeing an opportunity to meme, Jon's fans didn't waste the chance.
    • A viewer sends in an egg based on the Action Man (2000) theme song, after Jon mentioned it (and showed a clip from it) in the previous stream. Jon is impressed and amused, and continues to play it multiple times through the night.
    • For the last game of the night, Jon rolls Beyond: Two Souls on the cookie. Chat immediately calls for him to veto it due to it being considered one of the worst games created by David Cage, an already controversial game developer. Jon briefly ponders if people are aware of the usual content of his streams, but decides to put it up to a Strawpoll vote, and two-thirds of the votes are for him to veto the game. As he prepares to reroll the cookie, a co-comm mentions that it'd be hilarious if Jon rolls Heavy Rain or a game that's even worse. What game does Jon roll and end up actually playing? Bayonetta 2!
  • Fortune Cookie: Burning Bad Luck Edition
    • The stream starts off strong when a viewer sends an edited version of the Party Cruise theme that skips every other beat. While the resulting cacaphony is amusing on its own, Jon listens to the version that skip every other other beat, and breaks into laughter and latches onto the clapping section when Kermit says "—good. —like it" in a surprisingly deadpan manner thanks to the respective lines' emphasis being on the words that were cut out. He finds this so amusing it becomes the raid message for the night and eggs for it are made within a handful of minutes.
    • Sesame Street 123, the 1% holdover several times over from the previous stream, wins the first cookie of the night. The first half of it (Grover's Astro Counters) starts as you expect, but what really takes the cake is Ernie's Matching Magic, in which you match shapes. At one point, Jon decides to pick the mode that the game describes as the "HARDEST MODE OF ALL", and finds that it's literally just a disgustingly drawn-out version of the shape-matching game where the player completes pictures by matching the appropriate shapes. That's not the funny part. The funny part is when Jon receives a tweet claiming that he was "boring [him] to death", and then prolonging the round out of spite.
    • Co-comm Taki then suggests another edutainment game, Pajama Sam 2, just to troll the chat. Jon rolls the cookie for the first random game...and it's another edutainment game. Jon points out to the chat that at least this means the joke vote will be split. Of course, despite all the people complaining about the last game, the chat proceeds to vote in Pajama Sam 2 over Professor Layton and the other edutainment game comes a strong third in the poll.
    • During one intermission, Jon shows off an animation loop that Ryan's been working on for his own pre-stream screen: Poppi α resignedly swigging down an entire glass of Jack Daniel's in one gulp.
    • During a round of the original Super Smash Bros., Jon decides to check out the various character bios and promptly gets caught off-guard at the reminder that there was only one Pokémon game at the time of Smash 64's release.
  • Fortune Cookie: Happy Birthday Waluigi Edition
  • Fortune Cookie: Onwards to ConBravo Edition
    • A Running Gag somehow starts that Jewker is actually a Gamecube - which the chat runs with, and adds to an existing joke from a previous stream that the other co-comm, Myo, is an ant. Specifically an Ant Cop.
    • A user who submitted an egg sound the previous stream complained that Jon stopped before the best part, so for the first intermission, Jon decides to play it. Cue the Party Cruise rap, with a Stream Over fakeout soon after.
  • Fortune Cookie: TurboGrafx Powered Edition
    • During a playthrough of FTL: Faster Than Light, Jon misreads the map. This ends up with his ship stranded on a jump point with no way to get past the advancing rebel fleet. He has to jump into the advancing rebel fleet in the hopes of escaping. He had to endure at least three bombardments to be home free. He dies after his second jump.
    • The final game of the night is The Stanley Parable. His first ending he does is the compliant ending. He and his mods act like he's beaten the entire game. The second is the confusion ending.
      • The last ending he shows off for the evening is the Game ending. Which leads to Jon audibly bracing himself as he undertakes one of the necessary steps to reaching it: traversing a series of rooms where one door's red and the other's blue.
  • Misfortune Cookie: Everything Goes Wrong On Purpose Edition
    • The stream starts with The Joylancer: Legendary Motor Knight. One setting has the player input a sound file. Jon puts in an old egg sound. Cue "YOU WILL GIVE ME AN <Blarrg noise>" repeating on occasion.
    • The first game picked is Rogue Squadron II: Rogue Leader. Noteworthy is Jon's incredulous response every time his wingmen ask for orders when Imperial TIE fighters/walkers/etc. are attacking them.
      Wedge: "Orders, sir?"
      Jon: "...SHOOT PEOPLE!!"
    • For the next Cookie, Jon announces the theme is that they will all be movie tie-in games. The Genre Savvy chat suspects, accurately, that there must be more to it - they all turn out to be Home Alone games. This also results in a derailment when Jon accidentally discovers a bizarre similarly-titled Steam scam game with thousands of zero-effort achievements while typing in the title.
    • Then while playing the game, Jon sets traps in a futuristic-themed house and a household robot randomly appears and electrocutes Kevin. Then, later, as Jon as Kevin tries to fight the Wet Bandits, the robot intervenes and ends up electrocuting both him and the villains repeatedly, doing more damage to the villains than Jon did.
    • Another unexpected character in Home Alone is a ghost that also zaps Kevin. Jon attempts to reference the Jacob Marley scene from A Christmas Carol, only to slip and say he was attacked by "the ghost of Bob Marley".
    • One game played is Spyro: Enter the Dragonfly, which is notorious for being very buggy. Jon makes use of one bug that lets him go straight to the final boss, and counts it as a cleared game once he beats Ripto.
    • The final game of the night is The Adventures of Batman and Robin, a racing/driving combat game for the Sega CD where the cutscenes between each level are entirely comprised of footage from an unaired episode of Batman: The Animated Series. Around the halfway point of the game, Jon eventually gets fed up with the choppy framerate and unfair difficulty and uses a level skip code to skip past the Riddler's level just to see the cutscene after it. In the cutscene, the Riddler naturally accuses Batman of cheating, but given the circumstances, chat interprets this accusation as being directed more towards Jon than Batman.
  • Fortune Cookie: Week before PAX edition.
    • At one point, Luchajin lets out a very loud noise and comes into Jon's room, turns out she had just finished her Danganronpa: Trigger Happy Havoc playthrough and was still riding the wave of emotion from the last trial. While it's both funny (and cute) with how he comforts her, she eventually walks off saying she's going to get a drink. Jon playfully asks if he's gonna come up and find 3 empty wine bottles and she says that's exactly what's going to happen.
  • Subscriber's Fortune Cookie: Your Choice, My Scrambling To Get Them Working Edition
    • The entirety of setup done to get freaking Clue of all things up and going. The version that was originally picked was Murder at Boddy Mansion on CD-ROM (thankfully, he got a disc drive since the last time this happened)...only for Jon to have no idea where the disc is, since where he thought it was was just full of burned DVD's of random anime episodes. So instead, Jon was gonna boot up the version on the SNES...when suddenly Dan sent him a version released on Steam with not only online multiplayer, but with a ton of really cool costumes and designs for the classic characters (that left everyone impressed) and multiple maps, albeit locked by DLC. The game itself was just as crazy.
    • When Fighter Maker 2 comes up, Jon notes that he was only just able to reach the game disc without standing up, adding sarcastically 'Who wants to stand?' The co-comms (ACFan120 and TallManStan) mishear this as 'Who would want Stan?' and this single mishearing spawns a scenario where singleton Stan has to find love with a member of the chat, while Jon plays on the "Captain Falcon School dot com" running gag, pretending to be Captain Falcon as a dating advice guru. After a long rambling Disorganised Outline Speech about Captain Falcon's dating advice, ACFan120 gives a timid reply to Captain Falcon, "I only came here to learn how to parallel park!"
      • This comes with the meta-humour, as later noted, that ACFan120 actually did meet his girlfriend through Jon's chat (or at least through the TRG fandom).
    • When they actually do come to play Fighter Maker 2, Jon (as usual) makes a terrifying monstrosity of a character, this time naming it 'Abomination' from the start. For a variation this time, he makes a female fighter in a ninja mask with violent orange hair and Simpsons-yellow skin, who wears two skirts at once and travels everywhere by cartwheeling forwards through the air in a frantic blur.
  • Fortune Cookie: Last Week Being Engaged Edition
    • The winner of the stream's first cookie is Mario Kart DS, a game that Jon admits to not having played since it first came out... in 2005. Rather tellingly, Jon sees that his friends list is filled entirely with people from the Something Awful days, with such fitting emblems as pixel art Sonic, the "it is a mystery" ghost, a crudely drawn penis, and... a Swastika.
      • After beating Grand Prix with Waluigi, Jon takes note of the fact that the credits play over footage of Waluigi driving through the sunset a-la Lupin III: Part 1. Not only does Dan compare the scene to the opening of Pokémon Ruby and Sapphire, which generates a surprising amount of fanart on its own, but someone in chat also jokes that it looks like Waluigi's mowing his lawn. Later, Camille sends Jon an edited version of the Ruby and Sapphire intro based around Dan's joke, which manages to catch Jon off-guard when it ends with a voice clip he legitimately had never heard before: Wesker shouting "nice scream, I love it!" (Actually a voice clip from Soul Calibur IV, which Wesker's voice actor D.C. Douglas provided a custom male voice track for.)
      • While trying out Mission Mode for the first time in thirteen years, Jon decides to take on the Chief Chilly fight. Partway through the fight, Chief Chilly jumps over Jon right as he's attempting to ram into him, causing Jon to drive into the water. Jon's reaction is, predictably yet amusingly, resigned consternation.
    • During one intermission, Jon gets sent an egg combining the Thunderbirds intro, the typical egg sound, and the Power Rangers in Space intro. After letting it play, Jon reveals that he's gotten so many similarly-edited audio eggs that he can now tell what audio clips are playing where just from looking at the waveform.
    • Later during the stream, Pac-Man Party wins the cookie, and manages to keep everyone captivated by its sheer peculiarity. Highlights of its... bizarre... nature include a very unorthodox text scrolling sound, the severe penalties inflicted on players simply for landing on a bad space, the fact that you can drive your opponent into debt, and the fact that one of the first board's cinematics involves a kazoo-toting kraken flooding the area, which none of the characters in-game address.
    • The last game of the night is the Game Boy Advance port of Doom. While the game itself isn't that amusing on its own, considering the fact that it's, well, Doom, things escalate rather rapidly when a number of users decide to start mass-gifting subs to various members of chat, culminating in one user gifting out twenty subs at once, much to everyone else's shock.
      • At one point, Jon makes note of the GBA's less-than-stellar rendition of the game's soundtrack, and how the first level of the game swaps out "At Doom's Gate" for a track from one of the later levels. At the end of the round, Jon decides to look up exactly what the GBA port's version of "At Doom's Gate" sounds like, and finds out that it sounds awful, with thin, tinny guitars and off-tempo percussion (among other issues). Out of sheer curiosity, Jon then decides to check out the version of "At Doom's Gate" from the Sega 32X port of Doom, and finds it to be even worse, with everyone comparing it with fart noises. Jon then decides to start overlaying the GBA and PC versions of "At Doom's Gate" on top of the 32X one, creating a cacophonous mess that must be heard to be believed. He does it again at the very end of the stream, with even more versions of "At Doom's Gate" thrown in for good measure.
      • While Jon and company are busy riffing on the farty-sounding 32X version of "At Doom's Gate", Bagel comes in and starts chewing on his third grade diploma.
    • While searching for a target to raid, Jon finds a streamer broadcasting off of their PS4, using the Eyetoy camera to film their CRT TV while playing Faxanadu. He finds it so impressive that he decides to raid the guy, who turns out to have the most kickass gaming collection ever, crossing over with Awesome Moments.
  • Fortune Cookie: Last Stream Before Wedding/Honeymoon Edition
    • Throughout the stream, Jon's chat ends up receiving an OBSCENE amount of gift subs, with most of them coming from a user known as BlazeCyndaquil. Just to give a perspective of just how much subs Jon's chat kept getting, Blaze's first two "sub bombs" each consisted of one hundred gift subscriptions, which ended up unlocking a new emote all on their own. Things just escalated from there, with constant gift subs coming in from Blaze and a number of other Twitch users, causing Jon to break down from both laughter and emotion, eventually lying down on the floor because he was that overwhelmed by it all. Not only that, but the sheer amount of notifications coming in from the deluge of gift subs broke Bit Boss and caused Jon's alerts to get backed up by up to two hours. By the end of the stream, not only were over one thousand subscriptions given out in chat, but Jon also ended up unlocking six new emote slots from it all.
      • Adding on to the craziness of the sub bombs was the sheer amount of Tempting Fate at the hands of both Jon and Jewker, with Jon responding with a Rapid-Fire "No!" each and every time. It eventually reaches a point where Jon ends up having to restrict himself from saying the exact number of subs needed for a new emote slot, due to it being the biggest prompter for more sub bombs.
      • The chaos of the night reached the point that Jon actually appreciated getting interrupted by a raid just for the moment of respite. Predictably, with the alert system getting so horribly backed up, the raid notifications always came in late.
      • One of these late notifications (for Highwang's raid) finally shows up at the exact same time as another raid happens.
    • During a round of F-Zero, Jon decides to play for Camille the basement theme from Resident Evil: Director's Cut. Camille, understandably, is left quite dumbstruck. Jon plays it again at the very end of the stream.
    • While playing Star Wars Chess, Jon and company end up getting a big kick out of the game's over-the-top capture animations, which range from the flippantly silly to the jarringly violent. Particular highlights among these animations include an AT-ST Goomba-stomping Yoda, Chewbacca blowing up Boba Fett, and R2-D2 gassing Darth Sidious to death.
    • Yakuza 0 is the last game of the night. Predictably for Yakuza, the appearance of Mr. Libido ends up baffling Camille the whole way through.
  • Fortune Cookie: Back to Normal Edition
    • Jon and the co-comms get to discussing the reveal that a Piranha Plant will be playable in the new Smash Bros game and debating what Kirby will transform into when he steals its power. For some reason, this really captures the imagination of Jon's audience, who drown his Twitter in artist's impressions of the different suggestions.
    • Jon raids Stephen and Mal's Extra Life charity stream (Gamecube-themed) at the end of his own, and suggests his fans donate towards a game for them to play. The game in question (suggested by a chat comment)? The Game Boy Player disc, and nothing else, just the disc.
    • And then, as the GBP disc approaches first place... the stream crashes. And when it comes back up, Stephen explains that something exploded in his computer, describing it as sounding like there was a sparkler (a type of low-power firework) inside. Oh, and he's explaining this through a glitched audio feed, because though the backup computer is working fine on their end, somehow the audio feed to Twitch is getting corrupted, and nothing they do can fix it. Naturally, everyone in chat immediately blames Jon for the problems.
      Jon (in chat): I DIDN'T CAUSE THIS!
  • Fortune Cookie: Too Many Videogames Edition
    • The skill of ProtonJon's mods rears its head again with Fortune Survivor, a full parody of "True Survivor" from Kung Fury. Jon's left in hysterics during most of it, and the co-comms end up losing it too when the Universal logo appears with "VOD MUTED" at the end of the song.
  • Fortune Cookie: Video Games are Here Edition
    • Jon doesn't expect to find many people playing the just-released Robo Puzzle Smash, but gives the online matchmaking a shot anyway. Cue the dev PXLPLZ appearing as his opponent, much to Jon's dismay.
    • Jon also gives the 48-hour beta for Override: Mech City Brawl a shot. At one point, after executing Setesh's Super, he goes completely invisible... but only for Jon. As his opponent HJTenchi confirms that he can still see him just fine.
    • After playing a round as Contessa, Tenchi recommends that Jon test her out himself, along with some advice on how to wield her Super. During the following match, Tenchi's slightly confused about how to execute Mya's Super before Jon points out how he needs to have low health first. Cue Tenchi rushing in to use it on Jon... only to knock his health down low enough for Jon to use Contessa's Super. The one he gave Jon advice on how to wield earlier.
      Tenchi: "Thanks for the tip, Jon."
      Jon: [a few seconds later] "Thanks for the tip on the Super by the way, Tenshi."
      Tenchi: [being blown away] "No prob, brah—!"
    • During Wheel of Fortune, Tenchi lands on a Bankrupt space. Then, after a significant pause, the wheel abruptly inches over a few spaces, before going into a full spin.
  • High Risk Fortune Cookie: No Mercy RNG Edition
    • After Jon's viewers voted for the night to be a High Risk Fortune Cookie, the first game it pulls is a Barbie game, very much setting the tone for the night.
    • Jon gets distracted from playing by the fact that Soulja Boy has brought out a console (actually a terrible, massively overpriced Chinese knockoff compilation) and then belatedly realises he has to persuade his chat not to buy him one.
  • Fortune Cookie: Christmas Sweater Season Edition
    • This session starts out with Jon trying out Rain World on the request of Dan from Adult Swim Games. Jon sardonically notes that he suspects Dan wanted to see him suffer more. In the middle of the session, Dan abruptly declares his real motivation: "That's what you get for dodging me in Smash!" Jon is less than amused and tells him to Bring It.
    • Jon tests out Rain World's competitive survival mode and finds that it's only local. So his opponent is completely helpless, a sitting duck for Jon and the predators to take out at their leisure. Jon promptly blows himself and his opponent up with the same grenade.
  • Fortune Cookie: Free Form Salt Edition
    • Jon cracks up at Blues and Bullets' remarkably brief Title Theme Tune, which is literally just the title sung once, drawn out in incredibly hammy fashion.
    • One game, Nights of Azure 2: Bride of the New Moon, ends up bugging out and displaying an empty speech box. Cue demands for it to be the raid message—despite that message being nothing at all.
    • He also has difficulty getting over the sight of Capone in a bowling jacket.
  • Fortune Cookie: Last Stream of 2018 & Before MAGfest Edition
    • Jon mentions before starting up Batman Forever: The Arcade Game that he'd heard it was full of Sensory Abuse. That turns out to be an accurate description.
    • How Jon ends the final stream of 2018: with one last teeny malfunction.
      Jon: "Bye everybody. Don't know why I actually did a hand salute; my camera's not on. Whatever! Going to bed; goodbye!" [switching to black screen] "Oh, Robocop's already gone already, Robocop went to bed already. J-just didn't even tell me. Didn't send me a note, nothing. Just — I'm getting him up. Get the fuck up."

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