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Funny / Proton Jon Fortune Cookie 2017

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Return to the main Fortune Cookie page here.
  • Fortune Cookie: More Video Games Edition
    • Jon plays Death Road to Canada and every time there's a siege, it ends right as one (or all) of Jon's characters die.
      • On his second playthrough, one of the first places he goes to is an umbrella store. One of the co-comms mentions that maybe there will be flavor text saying that an umbrella protects them from rain once they lose their car. There is.
      • This moment, now animated:
      Jon: It's just another day on the Death Road 'till someone FARTS IN THE CAR! Drama and mystery consume the team, pick someone to blame. Tom Fawkes tells everyone to cool it... or Mal, Lucah, or Chugga. Do we blame one of those three or does Tom just yell at everyone?
      Ryan: I think Tom did it.
      Tom: Well here's the thing, apparantly i can't be blamed for this.
      Jon: It's true, you're not a blame option. You just tell everyone to calm it.
      Tom: YES!
      Jon: Calm down or cool it.
      Mitch: I agree, calm down.
      Ryan: Honestly it's just a fart.
      Jon: Tom tells everyone to cool it. Beads of nervous sweat roll down Tom Fawkes's face, yet nothing can be proven.
      Tom: YEAH!! I GOT AWAY WITH IT!
      Jon: Emile's morale somehow fell to shit, Lucah's went down; man everyone went down a lot. Jesus, that was some rancid ass fart, holy shit Tom.
      • The animation, sharing the in-game event title "Mystery of the Ghost Fart", depicts Jon, Emile, and an already-dead Tim (who fell in an earlier siege) as their respective Mario mains of Waluigi, Donkey Kong, and Yoshi respectively. The rest of the in-car crew are depicted as Eggman with long red hair (Lucah, herself a redhead), Kirby (Mal), and Roy (Tom, whose glasses and goatee carried over), while Jon's fellow co-comms (sans the aforementioned Tom, who as he says in the following event is already in the in-game group) appear as Link (Mitch) and Shantae with a Luigi hat (Ryan, who has the same hat in real life).
  • Fortune Cookie: "Videogames" Edition
    • Jon plays Panzermadels: Tank Dating Simulator, leading to many interesting quotes like "Have you ever been inside a tank?"
    • After getting yelled at by chat for his pronunciations, Jon yells "Fuck off" at chat and the stream proceeds to crash almost immediately.
    • While playing Ultimate Chicken Horse online, Jon somehow manages to glitch the game by reaching the goal before the other players even place their pieces. The game eventually gives him the prompt to hold B to kill himself, which doesn't work because he's already reached the goal.
    • Bomberman Act Zero features again for the first time in a while, and although they don't get eight people in a room for once, all the old running gags return with a vengeance as BAZ beats Halo 5 in Twitch views and Dan chokes as always.
    • Jon plays a Dragon Ball Z fighting game and is on his A-game when it comes to snarking over the cutscenes, including describing Goku's goal as "to fight space" and deliberately misunderstanding the positioning of the speech bubbles to suggest that Goku's shoulders or another body part are speaking.
  • From "Fortune Cookie: Severe Lack of Football Games Edition":
    • After Bagel repeatedly tried to sabotage Jon's previous stream by chewing at cables, in this one five seconds into the stream he turns up, jumps on Jon's keyboard, and starts iTunes. Chat jokes ensue about Bagel's musical tastes.
    • Appropriately enough, the first game Jon plays is Wayne's World, in which he fights musical instruments, leading to the rare sentences "Damn offscreen bagpipes!" and "These kamikaze kazoos are causing problems!"
  • Fortune Cookie: Not Playing Games in Moderation Edition
    • Jon plays Sonic Riders and, of course, ends up with glitches which make the announcer voice stutter and echo constantly throughout his playthrough.
    Jon: SON! SON! SON! SON! IC! IC! IC! IC!
  • Fortune Cookie: Prelude to a Second Cat Edition:
    • The first game Jon plays (at the start of the stream) is a Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles Game Boy game. After 45 minutes of gameplay, he starts up the first Fortune Cookie of the night - and the second game it offers is another Ninja Turtles game.
    • Jon usually limits games on the Cookie and those from co-comms to either cartridges or games from his Backloggery, so as to prevent ROM hacks. There are exceptions, such as for charity streams or the A Link to the Past: Randomizer, but they're few and far in between. That being said, some of the co-comms frequently buy games for Jon with the intent being they want him to play those games. One of those games happened to be a reproduction copy of Kaizo Mario Bros. 3. Guess what got suggested, then immediately voted on by chat?
    • The fact that throughout a good portion of the stream, two users in chat are completely ignoring all the chaos going on just so one can teach the other how to download an emulator frontend on his computer.
  • Fortune Cookie: Last Cookie Before PAX East Edition
    • Jon made a poll before the stream began, asking viewers if it should be a Fortune Cookie stream or a Game Clearing one note . It ended up being two votes that decided Fortune Cookie to be the victor, and because they were so close together he invoked the 0% rule he normally uses in his polls... and ended the stream early.
    • The virtual audio cable messed up at the start of Berenstain Bears' Camping Adventure, turning everyone into robots.
    • Jon plays Sonic and Sega All-Stars Racing and is delighted that he gets to both unlock Big the Cat as a character and a Jet Set Radio-themed stage, then comments on how surreal it feels to be playing as Big while "The Concept of Love" plays in the background. For some reason, the game also plays the Game Over music from that game when he wins the race, which confuses everyone because it's also the music Jon plays over the Stream End card (so obligingly the first time he completes the race he pretends to be ending the stream...again).
    • Yet another masterful egg sound. note 
  • Fortune Cookie: Mellow Midweek Midnight Edition
  • Fortune Cookie: *shrug* Edition
    • The final game of the night, at the suggestion of co-comm TieTuesday, is a tie-in video game based off Beastly. The game is so mystifyingly terrible in most every regard that Jon, the co-comms, and the chat are left in varying degrees of horror, bafflement, or delight. Jon keeps playing the game out of sheer morbid curiosity and ends up beating the entire game on stream as a result.
  • Fortune Cookie: The Future of Past Entertainment Edition
    • Upon starting the stream, Jon forgets to unmute his mic, and loads up the 3DO Demolition Man FMV game, only to realize this about 40 seconds in. He then promptly ends the stream, and restarts it, complete with repeated outro and intro.
      • The game itself is no slouch either, with the demo for the driving stage glitching out when Spartan's CPU-controlled car crashes into and gets stuck in one of the other cars. And then when Jon beats the actual stage, he starts breaking down at the sight of Spartan and Phoenix dueling Mortal Kombat-style on top of their still-moving cars in the next stage.
    • While Jon's playing Power Stone, Bagel jumps up onto his keyboard and lays on a key that causes Jon's webcam to take a picture. For a good 30 seconds, the chat overlay in the stream is covered by repeated pictures of Jon's hand taken by his webcam.
    • After Glover wins a Cookie, a very noticeable Vocal Minority in the chat is very displeased with the result, calling for impeachment the entire time it's played. Jon ignores them and plays the game as normal for most of its runtime, but when he's about to change games he decides he's had enough and keeps playing the game, purely out of spite for those users.
    • During one of the intermissions, the subject of the infamous 2-week-long 100% Baten Kaitos speedrun comes up. A few of the co-comms laugh at the absurdity of the run, which causes TieTuesday to drop in the call, talk breathlessly about how admirable the run is, and leave again, all in the space of maybe 20 seconds. It all happens so quickly the co-comms are left in confused hysterics.
  • Misfortune Cookie: It Makes Sense Today Edition
    • The stream is subject to one of the fastest fake stream endings Jon's done, when he accidentally quits 8-Bit Bayonetta while trying to pause it at the very beginning of the stream.
    • The first variety of Misfortune Cookie involves Jon rolling a die and playing the game whose ranking in the poll corresponding to the die's result. After the die rolls a 1 three times in a row, he gives up and just decides to roll with it, making it a plain old Fortune Cookie this round. When he decides to put it away after declaring the Cookie to be normal fare, the die finally decides to show another number, a 6.
    • During a round of Pulseman, Jon and chat are caught off-guard by the ridiculous premise of the game, in which a scientist falls in love with a human-like AI, uploads himself into her network, and conceives a half-human, half-AI baby with her that becomes Pulseman. Cue the inevitable jokes about finally marrying one's waifu.
      • When Jon reaches the boss of Stage 1, he's amazed by the insane appearance of the guy and immediately asks "What is this hackerman?!"
    • One of the submitted egg sounds from MasterTimeThief, who's known to generally make more elaborate egg sounds (such as the Big Bill Hell's parody mentioned under General/Misc. Streams), is titled to lead Jon to believe it's a riff on "Bohemian Rhapsody". It crashes three seconds after Jon clicks "play".
    • Jon plays Tony Hawk's Underground, and as per usual with games with lots of customization goes wild.
      • His custom skater is a giant blue man with eraser hair and freakish proportions dubbed Dr. Smack Daddy Smurf note , and he creates a trick that goes through five different trick animations in the space of a second, causing the model to absolutely freak out before a seal bark plays. Jon considers naming the trick "Kung-Fu Fighting", at which point Jewker starts Waxing Lyrical from the song "Kung-Fu Fighting" and suggests the names "Fast as Lightning" and "Little Bit Frightening". Jon decides to officially name the trick "Little Bit Frightening", or rather, "LittleBitFrightening" due to character limit.
      • When Jon unlocks an in-game KISS concert, he runs up to the stage... and promptly starts tripping over the band's members.
      • Later, Jon decides to play as Iron Man for a bit, and realizes that he can make him use LittleBitFrightening. Hilarity ensues.
    • For the final Cookie, Jon asks for a poll to decide which type of Misfortune Cookie it will be. Jewker spoils a potential game in one of the options, and Jon jokingly tells him to get out of the call for swaying the vote. Jewker takes him seriously and leaves, and it takes Jon until after an intermission to realize Jewker left. Making it better is that when Jon stepped away during intermission, Jewker rejoined the call just to yell "April Fool's!" before leaving again.
    • The final game of the night turns out to be, of all things, Barbie Super Sports for the PlayStation! The sheer fact that a Barbie game managed to get picked (despite Barbie games usually being banned after one Fortune Cookie stream consisted almost entirely of them) is funny enough, to the point where Jon hears Lucahjin laughing upstairs at one point, but what really gets chat going is when Jon starts cycling through the menu options. At one point, a cat meow randomly plays, causing chat to think that Bagel was getting in on the action. note 
    • Someone submits an egg sound called "Eggy Potter 7", and when Jon goes to play it he realizes it's actually a video that's over 2 hours long. He skims through the video to realize it's actually just the entirety of Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows, Part 2, and he notes that he'll have to actually watch it in full later, just to see if the submitter actually changed anything about it. Then the submitter also submits Part 1, much to Jon's exasperation.
    • Jon makes a mistake typing in his name for the file, then decides to commit to it. Welcome, Prouton!
    • This prophetic comment posted in chat at the end of the stream:
      game4brains123: TV Tropes is gonna have a field day with this one.
  • Misfortune Cookie: So Nice, We're Doing it Twice Edition
    • While Jon is playing Tetris for the Game Boy, Tom quietly enters the call without telling anyone. He doesn't say anything until the subject of Overwatch comes up during an intermission, at which point he sheepishly speaks up about playing it. The other co-comms express surprise at him finally speaking up and say they noticed him entering the call. He admits he was just waiting for someone to point out that he joined, at which point he'd say "Yahaha, you found me!", but he got sick of waiting.
    • Another egg video from MasterTimeThief, this one another parody of some of the Dr. Weird sketches from Aqua Teen Hunger Force.
    • Jon tells a story from when he still worked at EB Games, when a kid came in with games like Chrono Trigger, EarthBound, and Super Castlevania IV intending to trade them in. Considering the absurd secondhand prices of some of the games and how the store would only give the kid a dollar or so per game, Jon and his coworkers decided to just give the kid $5 per game. Then they argued extensively about who got to keep which games for their collection.
    • One of the games Jon plays is a video game based off V.I.P., and the call and chat have a good time just riffing on the game. The highlight of the game comes in the form of the character Quick Williams, when Jon refers to him as Fast Bill at one point due to forgetting his actual name. This snowballs into coming up with other absurd nicknames for him for most of the rest of the game, with the co-comms breaking down more and more in hysterics with each successive nickname.
  • Fortune Cookie: Rescheduled Randomness edition
    • Jon starts the stream by playing a fighting game based off Xena: Warrior Princess. He eventually starts concocting stupid match-ups for the AI to fight out, all set in Joxer's stage due to how goofy and out-of-place its music is. This culminates in him setting up a match between four Joxers with infinite health, which he keeps going even after he cuts away from the game. The match quickly gets dubbed JoxerMania, and for the rest of the stream Jon randomly cuts back to the match instead of the normal intermission screen.
      • Earlier on, Jon sets up a match between a team of three Joxers and Despair. The Joxers continuously throw projectiles at Despair, who just stands in place and takes the hits until he dies. In a later round, Despair does start attacking, but not before side-eyeing a Joxer who hit him with another projectile at the start.
      • Jon very rapidly discovers that most fights can be won easily by spamming Autolycus' throwing dagger attack, which he refers to as "toothpick spam!" Dan informs him that, of course, this Game-Breaker trick won't work on the final boss. It does.
    • During the first pre-Cookie trip to the Void, one chat user jokes about sticking his dick in there and immediately regretting it. That's not the funny part, though. What is the funny part is how Jon sounds legitimately concerned when he responds to what basically amounts to a simple dick joke. And then another chat user claims that the Void added a few inches to said dick.
    • MasterTimeThief is at it again with another egg video. It also crashes immediately after Jon plays it.
      • Once the video manages to play, it begins with a flowery meadow and serene music... only for Dr. Weird to barge in shouting "Bullshit!" followed by more modified Dr. Weird sketches.
      • Later during the stream, MasterTimeThief sends several Chroma Key-ed versions of Dr. Weird's "Bullshit!" clip, each based on one of Jon's emotes. Jon wastes no time messing around with them.
    • Jeopardy!, Wheel of Fortune, and You Don't Know Jack are all played one after another with co-comms Dan, SolarKnight, and Medz as contestants, turning most of the stream into an impromptu game show night, to the co-comms' varying levels of enthusiasm.
      • In Jeopardy!, the Final Jeopardy question asks for the name of the Greek mathematician who devised methods for setting enemy ships on fire by reflecting sunlight with a network of mirrors. Medz is left at a complete loss, and he just opts to answer with "Greek Man". Correct Response 
      • The best part of this is that Solar, the one who wasn't participating in Final Jeopardy due to a negative score in the main game, was the only one who actually knew the answer.
      • Jon mistaking Washington Irving for Lloyd Irving.
      • The same chat user who made the "dick in the Void" joke earlier quips how Dan's character in Wheel of Fortune resembles "a humanized Cheeto." Jon then retorts that it better resembles Arnold from The Magic School Bus. This is then followed by several members in chat making comparisons between Emile and Carlos.
      • At one point in Wheel of Fortune, Dan gets the puzzle "S????S??R" and immediately tries to solve it. He initially tries to input "SUPERSTAR", only to find that R is disabled. With that being his only guess, he throws in the towel and hastily answers "SXXXXSXXR". Cue chat comparing Dan's performance to Emile's.
      • The very fact that nearly every full-power spin ends up landing on Bankrupt or Lose A Turn.
      • Partway through You Don't Know Jack, the game softlocks. Jon cuts away to JoxerMania so he can reset the game and get a new round started up offscreen, only to discover that JoxerMania has also frozen. He then decides there'd be no better way to end the stream and calls it there. Solar promptly tells TV Tropes to have fun. And we certainly did.
  • Fortune Cookie: Something Something Easter Something Something Something Egg Edition
    • To reflect the amount of times Bagel-related shenanigans occur, a user named TheSmashToons submitted this video, which is a Bagel alarm, minus sound.
    • At the end of the stream, Jon decides to raid a Ninja Gaiden speedrunner. He realizes too late that it's a rebroadcast of their personal best time. He ends up raiding someone else after with #OurLastRaidSucked.
  • Fortune Cookie: No More Turtles Edition
    • The stream opens up with a fan-submitted edit of the infamous phone-order delivery scene from Samurai Jack, with a black and red Wesker Egg superimposed over Aku's face. Chat immediately starts shouting "EXTRA THICC" in glee.
      • Of special note is how the egg starts; it started out the same as the many Dr. Weird egg videos that had been shown on the past few streams, before presenting a fake crash screen that gets pushed offscreen by two attack kittens.
    • Early on in the stream, Snake's Revenge ends up being an option. Jon decides to take the opportunity to discuss the fact that the game's antagonist is literally named "Higharolla Kockamamie". Then he shows chat a picture of the guy from the game's instruction manual.
    • During a round of Jeopardy! on the PlayStation, one category asks to name famous film directors based on the names of the movies they worked on. Cue "James Cameron" being the answer to all but one of the questions. From that point on, chat starts joking about James Cameron being the answer to everything.
    • ProtonJon's Fortune Cookie 3000.
    • The entirety of Spy Muppets: License to Croak for the Game Boy Advance. Jon primarily spends his time gawking at the Narm-ridden animations and cutscenes, Kermit being a particular point of focus.
      • Throughout the game, Bunsen and Beaker act very suspicious about the various gadgets Kermit returns to them, leading Jon and chat to predict that the two will betray Kermit in the game's final act. Come the final level, and it turns out that they're actually Statler and Waldorf in disguise! Jon, his co-com, and chat promptly spend a good amount of time both marveling at and breaking down in hysterics at this plot twist, due to the fact that absolutely none of them saw it coming.
      • An early (and much-repeated) cutscene image shows a shocked/exasperated Kermit, but Jon and the co-comms decide it looks more like he's about to bite into an invisible sandwich. Chat members (of course) photoshop a sub sandwich in there and "Kermit's Sandwich" becomes a minor Running Gag in future streams.
    • Right after starting gameplay in a round of Wario World, Jon crashes the game while demonstrating Wario's inhale move. The fact that Jon referred to the move as the "best button" shortly before didn't help matters.
  • Fortune Cookie: Let's Just See What Happens Edition
  • Fortune Cookie: "Okay, So Here Me Out [sic]... Video Games" edition
    • During Mickey Mania, the first game, after a $1 donation by someone with the name One_Dollar that just reads "ONE MOTHERFUCKING DOLLAR," the chat goes crazy with the donations. Messages include but are not limited to a Running Gag of other donators having dollar-themed names and a Shout-Out to This Very Wiki.
      Dropbox: This donation cannot be previewed.
    • Later, Jon is sent a very shady way to get a warp in Mickey Mania.
    • Jon gets a donation from someone with the name "Xbox_On" and barely catches himself before saying it.
    • ROCKETSROCKETSROCKETS comes up on the cookie and everyone in the chat mentions SO MANY ROCKETS in the chat.
    • When Jon plays Link's Awakening DX, due to his used copy of the game having multiple save files named Chris, decides to name his own save file "CHRRS," to try and emulate Wesker screaming Chris's name within the strict character limit. Nothing much comes of it until during the next intermission, when someone tweets at Jon to show him that they hacked the game's memory to remove the character limit on names, just so they could make the Chris name as long as possible.
      • Before that Tweet, Jon reads a line of text saying that Link's sword has his name engraved on it, which leads Jewker to believe that the five-character limit refers to the amount of engraveable space on the sword, which then leads to a joke that the guy who engraved the name simply couldn't fit "CHRIIIIIIIIIII~S" on it and decided to just write down "CHRRS" and call it a day, hoping Link wouldn't notice.
    • The final game of the night is a video game version of Game of Life, and everybody is left creasing at how horrifying the 3D avatars are.
      • It's eventually pointed out that the avatar Jewker ends up picking looks uncannily like Barack Obama. When Jewker jumps out to a huge lead early on, it becomes a running joke that of course the president (well, former president more accurately as of 2017) would be the most successful.
      • The game celebrates the birth of Jewker's in-game daughter with a really gross and cringeworthy gag that leaves all of them mortified.
      • Everyone's mind is blown when it turns out the 'get $100,000' sound effect in one mini-game is actually where Jon got the 'jackpot' sound effect he uses for stream donations (which has been going off all night).
      • All the players pick male avatars. The little clips that play in response to landing on a space don't change to feature the avatar of the player in question (which confuses the players at first) which, combined with Buffy Speak, leads to this gem from Jon when Gex lands on the 'get a part-time job' space:
    Jon: "Er, Gex apparently got a job as...a woman...working at a drive-in, so you've earned $5000."
  • Fortune Cookie: Time to Press Buttons Edition
    • The very first cookie of the night is a game called Drunken Robot Pornography. The game's Non-Indicative Title quickly catches everyone off-guard and leads to more than a few wondering if the game can even be streamed. It can.
    • During one intermission, Jon gets a video submission from Jewker. It starts off as another edit of the "EXTRA THICC" scene from Samurai Jack, but then quickly shifts directions to Jewker pestering Jon to make the snickerdoodles. And then backmasked audio of Jewker starts playing, which Jon almost immediately recognizes as him just reciting the snickerdoodles recipe from the Radical Rescue walkthrough.
    • During another intermission, Jon gets sent a video of Resident Evil 5 cutscenes edited to match up with the audio of the first Game Grumps tee shirt commercial. Despite the audio featuring former Not-So-Grump JonTron, who had become a somewhat divisive figure, everyone still manages to get a kick out of it because of how well the cutscenes match up with the audio.
    • While Spiderman: Web of Shadows proves to be an uneventful game for the most part, Jon does still get some mileage out of it when he gets Spiderman stuck on a ledge in his jumping animation.
    • During yet another intermission, Jon gets another submission from MasterTimeThief. This time, it's a remake of the Raid Countermeasures video that not only uses the full five-minute Rambo parody from UHF, but also incorporates many in-jokes from other streamers as well as replacing the Kappa in the helicopter with Dr. Weird. The sheer amount of dedication put into the video combined with an already-hilarious scene ends up leaving chat in hysterics; Myo and a few others in chat go so far as to start pointing out how much fun TV Tropes will have with it.
    • Dudes with Attitude manages to garner a few laughs for all the wrong reasons, starting off with the game's lovely box art◊ and title screen.◊ Jon spends some time trying to determine who's the dude, who's the attitude, and who's the with.
      • Near the end of the round, Jon discovers that the game has a level editor. After some initial confusion, he makes a level with no jewels where the spawn point and exit are right on top of each other, named "HELP ME". Because Jon didn't put any jewels in the level, the exit opens up as soon as the level begins, which lead to this happening. Cue the Speedrunning jokes!
  • Serious Sam - 16 Player Open Lobby Co-op Chaosnote :
    • Partway through the stream, Jon gets linked to another Dr. Weird video on YouTube, this time by Simply-Vincenzo, about his own origins. It must be seen to be believed.
    • During the escape sequence at the beginning of Metroid Prime, Jon takes his time and goes through the path relatively nonchalantly, only to realize at the end that he's on a time limit. Which everyone but him noticed.note 
    • During an intermission, Jon takes the time to show off the Lara Croft memory card for the PlayStation. Chat immediately asks if her tits light up; Rosie promptly takes this ball and runs with it.
    • This monstrosity from Inspector Gadget: Gadget's Crazy Maze.
  • Fortune Cookie: ACTUALLY The Last Stream Before TRG Trip/Momocon Edition
    • The opening round of Razor Freestyle Scooter is sure to elicit constant amusement from viewers, be it through chat's constant referencing of Vinny's "Scoot the Burbs" song, Jon repeatedly making his player clap in mid-air, and the game's shoddy collision damage physics. However, all of this pales in comparison to the agony Jon experiences on Sky Fortress, repeatedly falling off the stage, which happens to be suspended 50 feet in the air, just to rescue some kid named Daryl. When Jon finally does complete the stage, all he gets is a clear screen with what is quite clearly composed of stock imagery from around the internet and the ability to play as Daryl. Chat proceeds to start blaming everything bad throughout the rest of the stream on Daryl.
      • Right before ending the round, Jon decides to relieve some stress by repeatedly scooting off Sky Fortress as Daryl.
    • During the first intermission of the night, Jon presents a 1-minute variation of the updated Raid Countermeasures video... which starts with the Superman 64 menu opening and resizing the screen to 20%. And then Jon presents a second version for false raids.
    • Wheel of Fortune on the Game Boy manages to be somewhat amusing for all the wrong reasons, be it the incredibly painful title music, the creepy pixel art Vanna White, or Jewker managing to do surprisingly well on a bonus board with just a random assortment of consonants and a vowel, much to Jon's exasperation. Even funnier, Jewker isn't able to figure out what said bonus board is supposed to be, only for Jon to reveal that it reads "A BITTERSWEET VICTORY."
    • Jewker's rationalization for why Jon should delete the 80-year-old file in Mischief Makers.
      • Shortly afterwards, Jon notices Hans the Arms Dealer in the chat and explains why he went after Darkling Tim. A couple minutes later, someone says the guys should stop messing around in the game and just finish it already, triggering a rant about how he wishes people would shut up, that the people saying that clearly haven't played the game, and that if they're sick of it they should just stop watching.
      • Then he mentions that when they finally do finish the game, his resultant tweet will be 'fucking finally'.
  • Fortune Cookie: Back To Normal Edition
    • Jon plays Tony Hawk's Downhill Jam, once again abusing the custom character creation to create an absurd monstrosity, this time a giant neon pink character with ridiculous proportions, an orange Fu Manchu (which is barely visible on the pink skin), red star-shaped sunglasses with gold frames, and neon green liberty spikes. The default name, "Guy" is changed to "Guy 2©®".
      • During the tutorial, Jon cracks up at this bizarre image which pops up every time he completes an objective.
      • Tony beats Jon in a race by a narrow 0.02 seconds, despite the fact that Jon clearly crosses the finish line first. The Computer Is a Cheating Bastard, indeed.
      • Later, somebody gives Jon a list of cheat codes and he goes through activating a bunch of them. First his skater is transformed into a giant warped cow that looks like something out of a John Carpenter movie, then after turning a few off his skater is now several times bigger than all the other skaters. As he summarises it shortly afterwards:
        Jon: "We raced downhill as a Picasso Cow shooting fish at Scotsmen playing bagpipes. What more could you ask for at this point?!"
    • Jon picks JoshJepson as his raid target for the night since it was his birthday, only to find Josh streaming completely hammered.
  • Fortune Cookie: "Nobody Messes With Adam We" Edition
    • Originally, this stream had been cancelled due to Jon's family visiting that night. At the start of the stream, he explains that the reason his family was in town was because his sister and her husband had entered a demolition derby, but it got rained out, so they all just went out for dinner instead and then went home, so he was able to stream after all. The sheer absurdity of the circumstances leaves a good portion of the chat baffled or amused.
    • Due to Adam West's passing, Jon says he would play a game that Adam West voices in as a tribute, but discovers that he doesn't own any, so instead he starts the stream with a game based off Batman: The Brave and the Bold. Then, not five minutes later, someone gifts him Lego Batman 3, much to his mixed exasperation and appreciation.
      • The Brave and the Bold game itself is a fun time in general, due to capturing a lot of the show's campy charm. However, the standout moment is Robin being turned into a cat, due in large part to Jon's utter glee. Even better is how in-game Robin asks if he was cute after the whole ordeal.
    • One cookie is a close race between Lego Batman 3 and Virtual Hydlide, but Virtual Hydlide ultimately takes it. When the people in the Lego Batman camp express their displeasure at the result, Jon enters LEGOBATMAN as the code for the game's random world generation, to try and appease both camps. This goes bad very quickly.
      • Even funnier, both this game and the one before it (Snowboard Kids 2 for the Nintendo 64) were published by, of all people, Atlus, leading Jewker to dub the stream "Atlus Night" (even though those were the only two Atlus games of the stream). MasterTimeThief promptly asks if Jon can stream Persona 5 now.
    • Once Lego Batman 3 finally manages to win a cookie, things go downhill very fast when Jon starts running into technical issues that force him to fiddle around with the screen, accidentally squishing it to 4:3 for a while before stretching it back to 16:9. Once he does get the aspect ratio fixed for the viewers, he decides to show exactly what his end looks like at the moment: the game itself is fullscreen, the picture isn't, and only takes up a portion of the middle of the screen while the rest of the screen is just black. Even more baffling; when Jon had the game accidentally set to 4:3, on his end it looked fine and filled the screen properly.
  • Fortune Cookie: Predictable Predictions Edition
    • A game based on Samurai Champloo quickly wins a cookie when it comes to light that Suda51 was involved in its development. The chat is lukewarm on the game at the start, due in large part to an abundance of cut scenes, but they start to warm up to it when gameplay starts proper. Then, the instant what can only be described as a murder rave bonus game comes up, opinion instantly turns, and the chat starts asking en masse for Jon to play the entire game on stream.
    • Jewker asks Jon to put Mario Party Island Tour on the cookie just for a single minigame that involves imitating the characters' voices. Jon's inevitable failed attempts at the game are funny enough, but what happens after he finally wins is even better: he decides to try exclusively going "WAAAAAAA" in a Waluigi voice just to see how well he does. He wins, with almost as many points as he got on his first win.
    • After Jon chews out the chat for excessive backseat gaming during an Ed, Edd n Eddy game, he angrily declared that there will be no raid and the stream is over, then the stream abruptly ends without even playing the End of Stream animation. A couple minutes later, the stream comes back on, and Jon sheepishly admits that he meant to do a fake stream ending but accidentally hit the wrong button, and that there will be a raid after all.
  • Fortune Cookie: Pre-Otafest Stream Edition
    • Before the stream even began, in a discussion about name differences between Final Fantasy games, BigDre87 accidentally spelt the acronym as "FFVV", which set off a string of posts consisting of game titles, song lyrics, and regular sentences vith vvery vord vtarting vith V. This went on for over an hour, and even kept going for a short bit when the stream actually started.
    • At Ryan's suggestion, You Have to Win the Game is put on cookie and wins it. Ryan tells Jon that the game has no music, so Jon tries to get the Fibbage lobby music playing over the game. However, he's first unable to find the music online at all. After a while of searching, he tries to run Jackbox and You Have to Win the Game simultaneously on Steam so he can idle Jackbox in a Fibbage lobby. It works at first, before Jon discovers that all of his inputs in You Have to Win the Game are also registered by Jackbox, meaning he just ends up clicking through its menus while playing. At that point, he gives up and decides to play different music entirely.
    • Another round of randomized The Legend of Zelda: A Link to the Past wins a later cookie, but the experience starts to get soured by excessive backseat gaming from the chat. This leads to an extended discussion of how backseat gaming has ruined Jon's enjoyment of certain games. In turn, this leads him to joke that he should institute a "punishment" for backseating where, instead of playing the game himself, he just plays a speedrun video of that game while still giving commentary as if it's him playing. Then he takes it a step further and says he should record a generic commentary track that he could play over any game and see how well it would match up to those videos.
  • Fortune Cookie: Sometimes Live Edition
    • The first game of the night is Gotcha Force, and Jon has a blast making fun of the ridiculous voice acting. Mana has it the worst, so naturally Jon picks her as his partner in almost every fight.
      • When given the option to name the PC, Jon is quick to give him the title of the antagonists: the Death Force.
    • WWE All Stars has a custom character feature, which Jon expectedly and enthusiastically abuses. His new creation is "Filler,"note  a massive man with tiny hands and feet, a football helmet clipping through his deformed, Nigel Thornberry-esque head, socks with sandals, a magically floating bow tie, the nickname "The Mastodon", and the agile, high-flying moveset of Rey Mysterio Jr., with a Knockout Punch as his finisher.
      • Jon is absolutely giddy when he sees Paul Bearer cutting a classic style promo at the start of the Undertaker's Path of Champions route.
      • Jon was unimpressed with Shawn's introduction… until Shawn breaks the fourth wall and pulls out a copy of the game, stating that he's in it.
  • Fortune Cookie: Overheating Edition
    • Jon starts the stream by playing the minigolf DLC for Dead Rising 4, playing online against someone from chat later on. After Jon finishes one of the holes, he cuts to countermeasures due to Josh raiding. When he cuts back, the person he's playing against has somehow gone from doing fine on the hole to being 4 above par.
    • For the first cookie, Ryan initially suggests Death Road to Canada, but decides against it after being reminded of a recent controversy surrounding the composer filing DMCA takedowns for all games she's worked on. One of the other games she's worked on that's mentioned is River City Ransom: Underground, and right as it's mentioned, River City Ransom appears on the cookie.
    • When a game based on The X-Files wins a cookie, Jon has to restart some of his streaming set-up due to the game's audio not coming through. Inexplicably, this causes all the gifs on his intermission wall to freeze, except one of Robocop drinking coffee from Family Guy. Chat is quick to make many jokes along the lines of "Can't stop Robocop."
      • The game itself is hilarious in how terrible it is, not helped by the game being for Playstation 1 and Jon's PS2 having issues emulating it. In particular, Jon has to restart the game early on, due to an extremely bizarre glitch happening upon picking a particular dialogue option which caused the game to freeze... and also play every line of dialogue in the entire game in succession. Dan jokes that this is a speedrunning technique and that Jon's on world record pace.
      • The game over Jon gets also warrants mention, both because of how abrupt it is and because of Jon's reaction to it.
    • Later, Jon plays a fighting game based off Advanced Dungeons & Dragons, which elicits a ton of laughs due to its terribleness. In particular, characters recoil off walls every time they come anywhere near the walls, and the hammy announcer declares "COMBINATION!" any time either character gets any sort of combo.
    • The final game of the night is Skullgirls, which Jon plays against Dan, Ryan, and Stan. All throughout Jon's matches, Bagel is being particularly mischievous, meaning Jon has to contend with pacifying Bagel while also fighting his opponent.
      • After becoming embarrassed at how badly he did in his appearances on the race streams, Stan wins a few matches during the roundabout, but because the viewers can only see what Jon sees and none of his wins were where Jon and the audience could see them, he laments that the one time he actually wins something on Jon's stream it happens off camera.
  • Fortune Cookie: Possibly Last Cookie Before ConBravo Edition
    • The first cookie of the night featured Samurai Jack and the Amulet of Time as one of the choices, which won easily. After it was played, the first game to come up on the second cookie was Samurai Jack and the Amulet of Time.
    • For the second cookie, Jon plays Disney's Goofy's Fun House. After playing for a while, he discovers the game straight-up contains Goofy cartoons he can watch. This causes him to send the game to the void and go to cookie almost immediately after starting one up. What makes it is later on, someone submits an egg video of Jon sending the game to the void, to which they added Goofy's signature yell.
      • Earlier than that, Jon goes into Max's room and witnesses the beauty that is one of his posters.
    • The fact that the night's run of Digimon Battle Spirit ends with the Game Boy Player crashing. Again.
    • One of the later games is a Madden game for the Nintendo 64. Chat spends a good chunk of that round constantly referencing this Moonbase Alpha video. At one point, chat discusses the possibility of the Madden All-Stars team literally consisting of eleven John Maddens.
    • Jon attempts to hear Cranky Kong's "WEEEHEEEEEEEE" voice clip in Donkey Kong Country Returns 3D, only for Ryan and/or Dan to keep accidentally talking over it every single time.
    • The last game of the night is Dragon Ball Z: Budokai 3, which understandably summons an assload of Dragon Ball Z Abridged references from chat.
      • Continuing on from his last playthrough of that game, Jon makes it through the Namek saga and is caught off-guard by how bad the direction for some of the voice acting and writing, particularly Goku greeting his dying son in the most inappropriately enthusiastic way possible and Krillin's screams of agony being transcribed as "awwwwwwks."
  • Fortune Cookie: Countdown to Bagel Alert Edition
  • Subscriber's Fortune Cookie: Your Choice, My "Experience" Edition
    • Freedom Planet:
      • The co-comms state that Jade Creek is where the bosses start ramping up in difficulty, only for Jon to narrowly win against Neera Li and Serpentine in one go. The co-comms are baffled.
    • Future Jon donated to remind Jon that he needs to play game number 54 because it was a good one. Jon checked, and was baffled to find it was true. Chat went wild. At the end of the stream, Jon reveals that the game was Worms Armageddon.
  • Fortune Cookie: Busy Week Ahead Edition
    • A new egg song with vocals by Stan, this time a parody of this vocal version of the Tetris theme.
    • Jon plays Chocobo Racing, and the game's surprisingly funny writing, complete with plenty of Breaking the Fourth Wall, pushes him to beat the game on stream.
      • At one point in the game, Jon learns about the Magicite shards that serve as the games' MacGuffins to the tune of the Final Fantasy prelude theme... as sung by a So Bad, It's Good MIDI of children singing. Which appears again during the game's ending.
      • When a Fat Chocobo that's swallowed a MacGuffin ponders eating the other characters, Stan wonders if the characters could retrieve the Macguffin from inside his body. This leads him and Jewker to have an extended conversation about the logistics of it, until Jon shuts it down, saying he doesn't want conversations about vore on his streams.
      • Due to the game's cutesy art style, Jon is consistently caught off guard by normally threatening Final Fantasy monsters being adorable. In particular, he and Stan note that the game's rendition of Behemoth just looks like a buffed up Spyro. One chat user dubs him "Spyroid".
    • The final game of the night is Mario Strikers Charged, and while playing through the game's introductory cup, he consistently curb stomps his opponents, with the highlight being one match where he wins 12-0 against Yoshi. Then he tries to play matches on the hardest difficulty (including one against Daisy), and the exact opposite happens.
      • Throughout the entirety of a match against Donkey Kong, Stan and Jewker do nothing but make constant references to the Donkey Kong Country cartoon, much to Jon's consternation.
      • Jon takes such a liking to Waluigi's bluegrass Leitmotif that he ends up playing it for the rest of the stream, even during the raid and end of stream video.
      • In a brutal AI match against Daisy, the ball bounces around before going into the goal. Jon and his co-comms are baffled.
  • Game Sharks Challenge & Fortune Cookie: Change of Plans Edition
  • Fortune Cookie: The Future, Yesterday! Edition
    • For the first cookie, Jon plays Game of Life on Steam with Medz, Solar, and Stan. They choose a fast game so they can actually finish it on stream, and are surprised by how fast it actually is, with none of them realizing Stan won until after he reaches the goal. This causes Stan to rejoice that he's finally won a game on stream, while Medz gets legitimately upset since he got one space from the goal without realizing it.
      • Earlier in the run, Stan pulls a card that asks everyone to name what their superhero cosplay would be. Jon picks "nothing," which leads chat to joke about him dressing up as Naked Lad, and Solar picks Ant-Man, which leads Jon to joke about Solar dressing as "Ants Man," a man covered head-to-toe with live ants.
      • Related to the quick ending, right before starting the game Jon played a video describing the "true story" of how he and Lucah met starting a conversation in the call about Jon's wedding plans. The way to end a fast mode game is to hit a random milestone in the game. Which one does the game choose? Get to the wedding chapel.
    • A Strawpoll pits Tembo the Badass Elephant against Sonic Mania. Towards the end of the poll, Tom decides to raid Jon. Hilarity Ensues as nobody is able to vote for their game and, in the confusion, Jon cannot figure out what game won the poll. The result? Both games win the poll! The sheer absurdity of the situation leads to it being posted on this exact page within minutes.
      • When Jon gets to Tembo, he manages to break it instantly. Everyone is so amused by the glitch that Jon keeps playing the game in that state and even manages to beat a couple stages. It gets to the point that when Jon accidentally fixes the game, he goes back to cookie almost immediately after. Watch the beautiful glitchfest here.
    • The last game of the night is a licensed Hot Wheels game for the Nintendo 64, which ends up being a gigantic comedy of errors thanks to a combination of bad controls, oddly-tiered cars, and a horrendously unintuitive damage mechanic (thanks to the cars not having visible health indicators).
  • Super Mario 64 Multiplayer with Friends, Then ???note :
    • The very first game of the night is Super Mario 64 Online, a Game Mod of Super Mario 64 that turns it into an MMO. Dan and Jewker manage to set the tone for the round by killing Jon on accident.
      • Jon decides to show off just how insane/silly the multiplayer interactions can get through this work of magic, taking advantage of how pausing simply freezes you in midair.
      • The gang attempts to race The Princess's Secret Slide. The gang accidentally clips Jon through The Princess's Secret Slide twice. Later, Jon attempts to make Dan and Jewker do this to him a third time on purpose, only for it to not work. Because only Jon could glitch a game to a horrific degree on accident and only on accident.
      • After that insanity, Jon and co. decide to race The Princess's Secret Slide for real, only for Jon to accidentally bump his head at the start thanks to Waluigi's unconventional physics, costing him a good amount of time. Jon tries to gain back some distance by diving forward on the slide, which predictably makes Waluigi go down on his stomach. However, because his hitbox is so large, he floats while sliding, leading chat to dub him Superwah.
      • Jon's amusement at the odd walking animations for a good chunk of the characters (thanks to them being rigged to Mario's skeleton), most of which end up humping the air. Jon particularly mention's Peach's "crab hands."
      • At one point, Jon mentions how during a practice run of the game, Bagel hopped on his keyboard and accidentally hit the hotkey combo to switch the visuals to free dot mode. The horror that resulted must be seen to be believed.
      • Midway through the round, Jon decides to beat the game early via glitching his way to Bowser in the Sky. Once he defeats Bowser, he demonstrates how you can switch characters midway through the ending cutscene by causing Peach's kiss to transform Waluigi into his true form, PEACH!
      • Earlier, right after beating Bowser, Jon has Waluigi stand still while waiting for Dan & Jewker to reach a good stopping point before grabbing the Big Star (as beating the game forces everyone to view the ending), only for Waluigi to start walking in place. Chat immediately starts comparing it to a moonwalk. This becomes somewhat Hilarious in Hindsight when Dan later suggests Michael Jackson's Moonwalker for a cookie.
      • At the end of the round, the gang decides to come together and beat Bowser for real. Because they all get the Big Star within quick succession of each other as Peach, the ending ends up appearing as if playable peach is leaving behind several afterimages.
    • During one intermission, Jon receives another egg based on the Sonic Sez PSA's, including one that condemns stealing. During this particular one, chat happens to be playing a game of Bank Heist with Gatherbot, which leads to the sight of the !bankheist command being heavily spammed throughout the PSA.
    • During another intermission, Jon receives two videos specifically designed for one-man raids, both still based on the Rambo parody in UHF and both of them are a barrel of laughs. The first video, by MasterTimeThief, is the "mooks on the hill" portion, edited to only feature a single Kappa (with other soldiers clipping into the shot thanks to the somewhat rough editing). The second one, by ACfan120, is the exploding arrow portion with ACFan dubbing over the single old soldier with a high-pitched "pew pew pew", ending with the message "on man raid" written in Comic Sans.
    • Hotel Mario comes up on Cookie. The results are inevitable.
    • During the Cookie after Hotel Mario, Dan's suggestion of Michael Jackson's Moonwalker is significantly overtaken by The Simpsons: Road Rage and one other game. One chat user then states that Dan might want to keep his suggestion for the next cookie, since for this round it's ended up "deader than Michael Jackson." Then another chat user responds with "that was pretty dark, unlike Michael Jackson."
  • Fortune Cookie - 1 Year of Bagel Alerts Edition
    • In celebration of the one-year anniversary of Bagel's adoption, Jon opens the stream with a Visual Novel called "Cat President." The results were... Interesting, to say the least; Complete with Jon Strawpolling key decisions, Only to ignore the vote and have Lucahjin make the key decisions.
    • The cat that Lucahjin picked being a caricature of Donald Trump. Chat had a field day with this.
    • Jon decides to play the Pokerpocalypse video. Captain Falcon chimes in at the best possible moment
    • During the first half, Jon occasionally lets out a "HMMMM..." in an increasingly goofy tone.
    • Jon getting roasted by Co-com
      • Shortly after, a chat user tells Jon that he should shave. He is less than amused.
    • After being completely useless for the entire fight, Luigi gets the kill shot in Kingdom Battle.
  • Fortune Cookie: Whoops, Guess We Need a Subtitle Edition
  • Fortune Cookie: Usual Descent Into Madness Edition
    • While Jon was playing Wii Bowling, Tenmar joked about calling Nintendo because of how Jon was playing. He then asked what Nintendo's number was, to which Jon responded with what he thought was a random 1-800 number, only to find out that not only did he manage to list off the actual number for Nintendo Support that he remembered all the way back as a kid, but it's also still in operation.
    • "Why is Mexican Ghost Rider trying to hump Juan?"
    • The last game of the night, Trapt, manages to garner a good amount of amusement before it even starts thanks to Jon pointing out the protagonist's odd choice of outfit◊, which leaves her right tit exposed (though she does have a bra on). It doesn't take long before this loose mammary gets dubbed the "party boob."
      • The game itself doesn't disappoint either, thanks to the central mechanic of using increasingly over-the-top traps to kill enemies. Two particular highlights include a killer clock and a boulder that can be rolled down slopes and then sent back up with a spring trap.
  • Fortune Cookie: One Week to TwitchCon Edition
    • While playing Mario's Early Years: Fun with Numbers, the game started to fade and flicker, and eventually the screen went black! Jon and co-comms are completely befuddled.
    • A donation message was simply the very old joke, "I just flew in from Chicago, and boy are my arms tired!" On its own? Not funny. Donated by someone with the name "I Masturbate On Planes]]"? Hilarious.
  • Fortune Cookie: Back & Everything Broke Already Edition
    • The stream is even more glitchier than usual, with Firefox crashing at almost the two-hour mark and causing Jon to have to restart the stream. At one point, even Discord goes down.
    • The first game played (Tower 57) has Abraham Lincoln as one of the playable characters. The second game, Win, Lose Or Draw starts off with the Attract Mode drawing Abe. This makes Jon wonder if that will be this stream's running theme.
      • During the actual game, Jon and chat spend a lot of time giggling over the odd Totally Radical cheers the in-game teams give whenever they get a correct answer. "Very Special!" manages to strike a particular cord with Jon.
      • At one point, the game gives Jon an incredibly Off-Model drawing of King Kong; Jon promptly ends up laughing his ass off at the fact that the game took the time to include his gorilla tits, nipples and all.
    • Braden sent in a movie detailing Jon's issues with chat when he was playing Final Fantasy V. To the tune of Funiculi Funicula. With the "Please no Spoilers" Ditty as the chorus. Cue the Spider-Man 2 and Vinesauce jokes!
    • At one point, Jon, Ryan, and Medz start discussing the GBA Video cartridges that had hyper-compressed cartoons stored on them. After some digging around, he finds one in his house that includes "Pizza Delivery", which he obviously plays (after some initial trouble getting around its incompatibility with the Game Boy Player). Everyone then spends a good chunk of time laughing at both how awful the footage looks because of all the compression and how much hot water this'll put them in with Twitch and YouTube's copyright systems. This ultimately culminates in TrojanHorse711 sending Jon a copy of the old raid video, compressed and fitted onto a fully functioning GBA ROM.
    • During a round of Bugs Bunny: Lost in Time, Jon gets caught by a pterodactyl enemy in the Stone Age level and dragged back a bit; chat takes quite a liking to Bugs' resultant "WOO" sound clip.
      • Later, Jon learns that he can kick down a tree to open a path. Then this happens.
    • The last game of the night is Muppets Party Cruise for the Nintendo GameCube. The sheer mention of it alone sets chat ablaze, but the game itself (unlike some other Muppets games) fully lives up to the hype:
      • One of the first things Jon does is mess around with the in-game menu options, leading to the rather impressive sight of Kermit's "Ahoy There!" voice clip going off like a machine gun. Ryan and Medz immediately mention how much fodder this'll grant Dalton.
      • At one point, Jon decides to check out the game's credits, and discovers that it features Kermit rapping. Everyone is left bewildered by this, with one chat user outright comparing it to "Amish Paradise" the second time it comes up.
      • Once again, Myo expresses immense regret at his association with the Kermit joke, constantly spamming the FailFish emote, cheering after an FMV where Miss Piggy accidentally knocks out Kermit, and eventually devolving into a constant string of "fuck"s.
  • Fortune Cookie: Powered By Salt Edition
    • While playing Mystical Ninja Goemon, Jon decides to visit Plasma's fortune telling center and is ecstatic to discover the fact that he shouts his own name with a thick Japanese accent every time he's spoken to. This eventually leads to "#PURAZUMAAAAAAAAAAAAA" becoming the raid message for the night.
      • Later on in the game, Jon encounters Baron for the first time, and is just as ecstatic when he comes across this line.
    • During one intermission, Myo sends in a detailed, three-page long novelization of the Raid Countermeasures video, of all things. As Jon reads it out, pretty much everyone ends up hysterical at how completely absurd it is. And then, just as a cherry on top, Myo edits it to add a line describing the stray white pixel on Donkey Kong Jr's sprite.
  • High Risk Fortune Cookie: No Votes, One Pull per Round
    • Before the stream even starts, both chat and the mods manage to have one collective This Is Gonna Suck reaction upon hearing the premise of the stream (which in this case is Exactly What It Says on the Tin).
    • Jon begins with Time Splitters 2 and discovers to his delight there is a level editor, which he proceeds to break as badly as he does character creators in other games. He makes a battle room that's almost entirely pink ("Light red!") except for one random corner, with epileptic flashing lights, and then fills it with two teams, red and blue, armed with flamethrowers and fire extinguishers and consisting almost entirely of monkeys. Jon himself promptly decides to be on team green. Utter chaos ensues as the room immediately fills with monkeys on fire.
      Jon: "Alright, who are we putting in in the bot slots? Ah, let's put in..." (scrolls through entire list of characters) "...a monkey..." (scrolls through entire list of characters) "...a monkey..." (scrolls) "...a monkey..." (Edobean corpses) "...how about...er...a monkey, Harry Tipper, a monkey," (scrolls) "let's put in a ghost..." (scrolls) "...a monkey...R-109, and probably a monkey."
    • MasterTimeThief makes an 8-bit intro style version of the raid video similar to the intro to Ninja Gaiden, including dialogue of Robertcop yelling 'AHHHHHHH!' over still images of explosions. At one point the text reaches the side and wraps to the top of the screen, à la what happened in the Samurai Pizza Cats stream.
    • During a round of Starblade, Edo decides to read out the game's story; cue Jon's surprised laughter at the mention of having to destroy a space-octopus in the planet Red Eye.
    • Jon's park in Sim Theme Park: Drink Island, where the drink lines are long and the bathroom lines are longer! The very premise of the park alone strikes quite a chord with the chat; then one of the rides ends up catching fire.
    • While playing Tempest 2000, Jon randomly blurts out the line "behold, the UTERUS!" in reference to this◊ rather unforunately-shaped level. Much later into the stream, someone sends Jon fanart of that line of all things.
    • During one intermission, Jon and his co-coms discuss the recent Dead Rising 4 DLC themed around various Capcom characters. Jon decides to Google it to get some clarification on what it is, though he specifically avoids referring to it by name because of his discomfort at the potential results of searching up "Frank's Massive Package." Later, he does manage to pull it up, and discusses his horror at the sight of Frank's unnecessarily-detailed ass in the Cammy costume.
    • During a round of Extreme-G 2, Jon manages to get his racer stuck in a corner of the track, unable to move, while all the other racers seem to zoom by him. All of a sudden, the screen fades to black... and the game declares Jon the winner... BECAUSE EVERYONE ELSE DIED Everyone and their mother practically bursts their guts laughing at this.
    • The final game of the night is XCOM: Enemy Unknown, and Jon ends up being thrown for a loop when the very first mission after the tutorial turns out to be set in Calgary, where he and Lucah just so happen to live. This then leads to Jon and his co-coms joking about the various differences between life in Canada and life in America, with Edo being the token American of the group.
  • Fortune Cookie: Wait, This Isn't Saturday Edition
    • The Atari Jaguar version of NBA Jam wins a Cookie, so Jon stuns the younger co-comms with a picture of the console's infamously huge controller. He then finds a cheat code called 'STORY' which just plays a very slow text crawl of one of the port developers telling a story about his colleagues getting sick from eating 'old meat' instead of jerky.
    • Jon plays Legend of Mana and gives his character an unpronounceable emoticon-based name, then reads off his interpretation of the little icons showing player abilities:
      Jon: "We've got 5s in punching, lots of punching, bouncing things off of our chin, hitting some stars with a cane, flexing our muscles, getting a headache, having two hearts, and being discovered in Metal Gear Solid."
  • Fortune Cookie: A Cookie For All Edition
    • Jon discusses the Superman 64 situation after the Game Sharks challenge at the start of the stream and Superman 64 will come up on the Cookie at some point as a result. He was nearly right: near the end of the stream, the licensed tie-in game for Superman Returns is played (albeit due to a co-comm suggestion), much to Jon's displeasure. After spending a good amount of time making fun of how stilted the game's execution is, he decides to take said stiltedness to its logical extreme by unleashing utter havoc on Metropolis during the open world missions. One Discord user outright calls it a video game adaptation of Superdickery.
      "Superman away!"
      • Earlier, another Discord user attempts to make a joke about Jor-El giving birth to Superman (as unintentionally implied by the game's awkward writing), only to accidentally type "Kal-El" instead. This leads another user to start discussing the logistics of Superman giving birth to himself.
    • The second game of the night is One, which wins the cookie purely because everyone is so curious about what it might be (even Jon, who calls it "One...just...One."). Edobean, the only person who actually knows the game, shows up to describe it in a vague but gleeful way that leads to other co-comms accusing her of being in 'the Cult of One'.
    • The last game of the night is The Incredible Hulk game for the original Xbox; within minutes it manages to leave an impression on Jon with this glory.
      • Eventually, after much dicking around as the Hulk, Jon manages to crash the game, producing an incredibly loud, cacophonous buzz. Jon then goes to intermission... and promptly switched back to the game audio several times.
  • Action 52 & High Risk Fortune Cookie Note 
    • At one point during Action 52, Jon comes across a Prince of Persia pastiche based around an Indiana Jones expy named "Billy Bob". This leads everyone in the #general room in Discord to create a deluge of fake movie and video game titles based around the Billy Bob character, with the gag lasting for over an hour.
      • Once Jon starts up the "Non Human" game, virtually everyone ends up getting caught off-guard by the multitude of bizarre, screaming faces at the bottom of the level. Additionally, there's Jon's bewildered amusement at the manual's description of the game reading "you are a demon" at one point.
      • Jon discovers the unnecessarily violent attacking animation for Johnny Jawbreaker in "Lollipops".
      • After playing the infamous Cheetahman game, Jon becomes enthralled by a speedrun that was submitted earlier the same day and positively explodes with glee when he figures out the glitch used by the speedrunner to skip to the final boss.
    • "Reach for the Propane Egg," a song that Jon wrote in Tomodachi Life for Wesker and Hank Hill to sing together.
      "Hank's got the ProPAIN!
      Wesker's criminally insane!
      Eggs will change your life!!!!!!      "
      • Before Jon even starts the game, G at one point mentions the phrase "all star," which chat gleefully points out. This leads to Jon reciting the lyrics to the song in Waxing Lyrical fashion, his voice filled with nothing but sheer disappointment in chat.
  • Fortune Cookie: Christmas Cookie Edition
    • Throughout the stream, Xilehnoc gifts an absurd amount of subscriptions to a multitude of users. According to Jon, by the second round of the night, Xilehnoc had gifted ninety-three subscriptions, with Xilehnoc himself later attesting that his credit card, PayPal, and Amazon accounts all froze because of the absurd amount of money he spent on those subs.
    • Once again, various community members created a Christmas album filled with in-jokes and references for Jon to listen to; he plays several over the course of the multiple intermissions, and nearly all of them end up leaving everyone in stitches.
  • Fortune Cookie: Last Stream of 2017 Edition
    • The final stream of the year manages to start on one hell of a high note when Jon decides to complete Barbie for the NES, simply because two other streamers beat it on-camera earlier that day and he still hadn't.
    • Taiko Drum Master manages to be a highlight in and of itself from the very start, with Jon and co. utterly baffled by the songs available in the game. Among others, the game features "Rock the Dragon", the Jimmy Neutron theme, "Believer", "Killer Queen", "Toxic", and "Katamari on the Rocks". Then there's the fact that Jon was missing one of the drumsticks required to play the game; since the drum controller's too thick to play with one's bare hands, Jon is forced to use a bizarre variety of off-the-shelf substitutes. In order, he manages to make do with a water bottle, a screwdriver, a Wii Remote Wheel, a standalone Wii Remote, and a microphone, the latter of which actually ends up breaking.
      • Oh, and to top it all off, there's the sheer lengths he had to go to just to be able to play the game. First he attempts to play with the drum placed on his crotch (leading to a deluge of inevitable jokes at Jon's expense), and after a while, is forced to play the game sitting on the floor.
      • Brutalmoose shows up in chat and repeatedly offers such advice as "use a shoe jon" and "has anyone suggested the shoe strat" through the entire game.
      • Jon sums up the experience shortly after the game was over:
        Jon: "I just spent half an hour plus fuckin' playing Taiko Drum Master sittin' on the floor with a goddamn screwdriver, a Wii Steering Wheel, a Wiimote, and then a fuckin' microphone which I broke halfway through the goddamn song of Britney Spear’s 'Toxic'. I don’t give a fuck anymore."
    • The Wacky World of Miniature Golf with Eugene Levy for the CDi also manages to elicit a number of reactions from Jon and co. due to the bizarre nature of the game itself. In short, it's an FMV mini-golf game (a-la Dragon's Lair) where one's performance is based solely on how well they can time their hits in relation to specific on-screen cues. Jon basically says "fuck it" and cheats at the game using a guide, only to be caught off-guard at how oddly specific all of the hole-in-one requirements are. The So Bad, It's Good witty narration by Eugene Levy only manages to make things better/worse.
      Jon reading the guide: "Shoot to the left; when the head of the biker is under the window of the house on the left."
      • Some amusement can also be found in the fact that Jon picked his specific character to play as based only on his resemblance to Danny Sexbang.
      • At the end of one hole, the game hypnotizes the player into not believing Atlantis exists. Of course, the entire chat acts like it worked on them, leading to "#AtlantisDoesNotExist" becoming the raid message at the end of the stream.
    • The final game of the night is Legendary, a terrible, terrible game for the PS3 that Jon bought when he went into a game store and specifically asked the employee for a bad game. Jon manages to cap off 2017 in perhaps the most fitting way possible via a slow descent into madness throughout the entire playthrough.

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