Funny: Once Upon a Time
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Episode 1 - Pilot
- Emma has a panic attack when she hears that Henry is the son she gave up. Here's this collected woman we just saw stop traffic during her job, and now a little boy's reduced her to taking a minute away from him.
- Also, how Henry immediately makes himself at home.
- Henry, in the middle of a trip to take his mother back home so she can save the residents from The Dark Curse, asks whether they can stop for food. Middle of a rescue mission and the kid's first thought is "I'm hungry."
- Rumpelstiltskin sees through the ruse to have Snow White and Charming in disguise right away. And giggles about it all the way.
- Leroy "puts on a smile" before leaving jail for an unknown reason with a frown right back on his face. All the more hilarious since we know he's really Grumpy (the mood and the dwarf).
- Granny's reaction to finally having a customer who wants a room!
- When the bail-jumper Emma is after flips the table at her, a little wine spills on her dress. The look on her face is a lot less "Really? He's running away?" and more "Damn it, this was a brand new dress!"
- The Blue Fairy brings in the Enchanted Tree and says it's their only hope. Cue Grumpy's rather understandable response:
- Graham's Adorkable attempts to flirt with Emma.
Graham: Ah, so you've decided to stay.
Emma: Observant. Important for a cop.
Graham: It's good news for our tourist business, bad for our local signage.
Graham: ...It's a joke...because you ran over our sign?
- And then later in the episode, he shows up at her hotel room.
Emma: Oh, hey there. If you're concerned about the Do-Not-Disturb signs, don't worry, I've left them alone.
- "I'm afraid, Miss Swan, you're under arrest. Again."
- When Emma denies having argued with Archie, Graham sends some of her characteristic snark back at her:
Graham: I was shocked too, given your shy, delicate sensibilities.
- And then later in the episode, he shows up at her hotel room.
- Rumplestitskin, in order to give Regina the reason why the curse failed the first time, asks in demand to be well off in the new world, AND that she'll do whatever he says if he ever says, "Please." It's just how he's so jovial about it that makes it so funny for what's a pretty childish request.
- Particularly the little giggle in his voice when he says "Please."
- Henry's knee jerk reaction to seeing Emma got an Apple from his mom. "Don't eat that!"
- Emma goes picking apples. With a Chainsaw.
- Snow White and "Prince Charming" get properly introduced for the first time. Well, Excuse Me, Princess! is being thrown around all willy nilly. For both parties. Especially when charming cuts her down.
- Charming catching Snow in the net:
Snow: What is that supposed to mean? Are you insulting me?
Charming: Quite right, my apologies. How dare I cast aspersions at the person who robbed me!
- Mary Margaret informs Emma that "John Doe" woke up. Emma gives her best Flat "What." in response.
- Emma trying to tell Henry to go home:
Emma: [about Regina] She's gonna kill me! Then you. Then me again.
- Snow's opinion of Abigail:
Snow: The nag with the bad attitude? That's what this is about?
Charming: She's my fiancee.
Snow: [amused] Good luck with that. You must be getting something impressive to have agreed to that union.
- Talking about how Emma got started on her job finding people, Mary Margaret asks if she ever found her parents.
Emma: Depends who you ask...
- When Graham offers her a job...
Emma: Thank you, but I have a job.
Graham: As a bail bondsperson? There's not much of that going on around here.
Emma: I don't see a lot of sheriffing going on here either.
Graham: Well, here's your chance to see it up close. ...There's dental.
- "What's with the siren?" "It's so hard to get your attention."
- Cinderella's Fairy Godmother shows up and promises her that she will be able to go to the ball...and then is blown up in a shower of glitter by Rumplestiltskin.
- Something about Rumplestiltskin bending over to allow Cinderella to use his back as a flat surface to sign her contract. It's the visual oddity of the thing.
- Henry plays the classic "I just wanted to spend time with you" card on Emma.
Emma: Oh, that is just not fair.
- Henry's reaction to encountering Mr. Gold at Ms. Blanchard's place.
Mr. Gold: [jovially] Ah, Henry, how are you?
Henry: [deer-in-the-headlights look] ...oooookay.
- Especially funny because Mary Margaret had a similar reaction. Like Grandmother, Like Grandson.
- Henry hiding in Emma's car's backseat and jumping out when she is going to find Ashley. Doubly hilarious when it turns out Emma met Henry's father when she stole the yellow bug and it turned out Neal was hiding in the car's backseat.
- Henry and Emma's conversation after Mr. Gold leaves.
Henry: Do you know who that is?Emma: Of course I do.Henry Really? Who? Cause I still haven't figured it out.
- Emma and Graham's dynamic doesn't alter much after she accepts the job either.
Emma: A tie? You know you don't need to dress a woman as a man to give her authority.
Graham: So you think you can get people do what you want in that red coat?
Emma: I'm getting you to do what I want right now. [crumples and tosses the uniform shirt]
- The Blue Fairy greeting Jiminy:
Blue Fairy: I hear your wish. [beat] You do not have to wish it so loudly.
- Jiminy going along with his parents scheme, speaking in a bored tone of voice. Although the situation quickly turns dark, Jiminy sounds...pretty much like someone who's recited the same lines a hundred thousand times would sound.
Jiminy: [dully] Oh my God, you're going to die, you need elf tonic.
Jiminy: There is no extra.
- When Mary Margaret is weighing the pros and cons of running away with David, she mentions that Regina won't like it. Emma then matter of factly says that that's all the more reason to do so.
- Henry (to Graham): "You kissed my MOM?!?"
- The irony is he's kissed both moms.
- A feverish Graham is surprised by Mr. Gold who has been doing some "gardening" (actually digging/burying something, while still clad in his suit and equipped with his cane) in the forest, and stammers that he thought he (Gold) was a wolf.
Mr. Gold: Ah, did I forget to shave today?
- Snow White escapes the Huntsman the first time.
The Huntsman: You have good instincts.
Snow: And you have too much armor. (bitchslaps him)
- Regina, while wearing a stunning black gown, stating that she knows the time for mourning is over—she's just found that black suits her.
- Emma reacts poorly to being fired from the sheriff's office. Somehow Mary Margaret stumbles upon a scene that involved loud music, alcohol and a broken toaster.
- Mary Margaret's reaction to Mr. Gold showing up at her apartment.
Mary Margaret: [deer-in-the-headlights look] I'll let you two talk. [scampers out]
- Mr. Gold is a veritable goldmine of these.
Emma: [entering Mr. Gold's antique shop] Gold? You in here?
Mr. Gold: [sotto voice] Well, it is my shop.
- This exchange is my favourite:
Regina: Are you really planning on running against me?!
Gold: No, not directly.
- This exchange is my favourite:
- After Emma rescues Regina from the fire, Sidney comes running up with a camera and takes their photo for the next day's paper. The annoyance on Regina's face is priceless.
- The Hansel and Gretel episode has the Evil Queen spying on Snow White and the dwarves for a second. She mutters "She's cavorting with dwarves now? When did that happen?" It's the voice that sells it; it's like she's watching a reality show and missed an episode.
- In the same episode, this verbal exchange between Emma and Regina, when Emma gets called to the drugstore and sees Henry.
Emma: Hey Henry, what are you up to?
Regina: Ms. Swan, he's not your son, how many times do I have to tell you biological bonds mean nothing.
Emma: ....Actually, I was here in my capacity as [sheriff].
Regina: Oh. Carry on.
- What sells it is Regina reciting the entire thing like she's reading an instruction manual.
- Mary Margret's "We're building a volcano" as if it's the most important thing in the world.
- Emma and Regina discussing August.
Regina: There's something about him. Something familiar.
Emma: Must be one of the untold millions you cursed.
- Mary Margaret insisting that she is most definitely not a stalker.
- We find out both Snow White and her daughter met Grumpy the same way: neighboring jail cells.
- There is something darkly funny about the fate of Stealthy, the Eighth Dwarf. Oh, so that's why we've never heard of him...
- Snow asks Rumpel what he needs with her hair. His response? "What do you need of it now it's been plucked from your head?"
- Emma and August talking in the coffee shop:
Emma: You're suspicious.
August: Sitting here, out in the open, drinking coffee. *beat* I can only imagine the hell you would have raised if I'd ordered a doughnut.
- How completely blasé the Genie is when he is summoned from the lamp.
- And the Adorkable awkward laugh that the King gives when he can't think of a first wish.
- Emma yet again is bad for Storybrooke's signage.
- Rumplestiltskin is giving Belle a list of chores to do and she's agreeing to all of them pretty much automatically. Then he lists skinning the pelts off of the children he hunts, which causes her to drop the teacup she was polishing in shock. He then tells her he was just kidding. Doubles as Not Listening to Me, Are You?
- Later that episode, Gaston shows up and Rumple promptly turns him into a rose and hands it to an unaware Belle, who trims it a bit and sets it in a vase.
- And this line:
Belle: Why do you spin so much?
Rumplestiltskin: I like the wheel. It helps me forget.
Belle: Forget what?
Rumplestiltskin: I guess it worked! *giggles*
- And this, with the curtains.
Belle: What did you do!?! Nail them down!?!
- Rumple's adorkableness after he catches Belle: Hmm, sunlight for first time in months, oh wait oh wait holding Belle holding Belle put down now oh god this is awkward she felt nice no stoppit!!!
- The florist business named "Game of Thorns."
- Rumplestiltskin's over-the-top offended face when Belle's father calls him a beast.
- Also, the strange, excited "nyah!" noise he makes when Belle agrees to go with him.
- Rumplestiltskin's smirk as he delivers his terms to Belle's father;
Rumplestiltskin: I'm not looking for love. I'm looking for a caretaker, for my rather large... estate.
- Retroactively funny, Mr. Gold casually runs into David Nolan in the checkout line at the convenience store and they discuss his love life. What's he buying? Duct tape and rope to abduct Moe with. Just how casual he is about the situation.
- Gold's reaction to being left alone in jail with the Evil Queen while Emma and Henry go out for ice cream: "Bring me back a cone?"
- It's his expression that really sells it.
- When Belle chips the cup, she's immediately apologetic about it. Rumpelstiltskin responds "Well it's just a cup" in his best "Why are you fretting? I have like ten thousand of the things just lying around" voice.
- Regina planting the idea of having Belle kiss Rumpel to remove his powers.
- This conversation between Emma and Mary Margaret
Emma: I'm not your mom.
Mary Margaret: Well, according to Henry, I'm yours.
- August invites Emma to go for a drive on his motorcycle. Granny, watching the exchange remarks, "If you don't, I will."
- Later on, when they arrive at the magic well, August talks about the magic properties of the well, and says that he knows all this for one simple reason.
August: I read the plaque.
- Later on, when they arrive at the magic well, August talks about the magic properties of the well, and says that he knows all this for one simple reason.
- After the town finds out about Mary Margaret's affair with David, someone spray-paints "Tramp!" on her car and she is exasperated, wondering who would do such a thing. Towards the end of the episode, we casually see a used can of red spray paint in Regina's desk drawer.
- Regina's face when Katheryn says her marriage was like an illusion.
- When Nova is surprised that Dreamy's only a year old: "I know, I look young for my age."
- Nova tells Dreamy how beautiful the fireflies are, strongly hinting that she wants him to come with her. His response? "Have a good time!"
- After building up to what looks like Leroy killing himself by jumping off a building above a crowd of people, he laughs the idea off: "You know how much damage I could do? I'm solidly built!"
- "You're gonna trust a dwarf who got his medical degree from a pickaxe?"
- Leroy and MM's faces when Leroy lies about the candles and Sister Asterid hugs him.
- Mary Margaret and Leroy discussing Leroy's love for Sister Astrid:
Mary Margaret: She is a nun, Leroy! Could you possibly pick anyone less available?!
Leroy: Says the girl who had an affair with a married man.
- Mary Margaret and Leroy getting doors slammed on their faces. The face she makes at the last was priceless.
- When Mary Margaret is explaining Miner's Day to Emma:
Emma: Coal? In Maine? If they were mining for lobster, I'd get it...
- When Mr. Gold explains why he won't overlook the convent's debt:
Leroy: (stunned) You don't like nuns? Who doesn't like nuns?
- Henry trying to convince Ruby to get a job involving a basket.
- It's partially the way he keeps tacking on "...in a basket" to every job description and (since we see the screen he's looking at) completely skipping over any job that doesn't involve one. You can almost see him trying to mentally tell Ruby that she's Red Riding Hood.
- Granny snarking that Ruby dresses like a drag queen during Fleet Week.
- Snow (looking like her old Tastes Like Diabetes self) is cleaning and humming happily to herself ("With a Smile and a Song") and it looks like she's made friends with a bluebird... then she starts swinging her broom at it.
- It's a Gilligan Cut from the previous scene where Mary Margaret says "I couldn't hurt anyone".
- "I will always find you." ...Punch.
- Oddly enough, this moment:
Snow: You'd be willing to die for me?
Charming: [with an arrow in his shoulder] Does it look like I'm making this up?
- The following exchange:
James: Name your price.
Rumple: How about your cloak?
James: My cloak? Why would you want my cloak?
Rumple: It's drafty in here. [sniffs it]
- Snow White's intervention had many moments.
- In response to Sneezy's allegation of her bringing flowers despite his allergies: "You are allergic to everything!" Her facial expression and gesture is what really sells it.
- Happy driven to the breaking point by Snow White's bitchiness. "Look what you're doing to Happy!"
- Hell, just the fact that Snow White, of all people, had an intervention.
- After Emma hits Jefferson with a telescope.
Emma: Crazy son of a bitch.
- The look of dull annoyance on Jefferson's face when he and the Queen exit the Looking Glass. Especially when the Caterpillar starts blowing smoke in their faces.
Jefferson: I hate Wonderland.
- More a funny visual than anything, but the Queen's old woman disguise looks like Rumplestiltskin in drag.
- "Henry, I left the code book at home!" "...She's getting in the shower and the keys are under the mat."
- The pink, heart covered, glitter saturated card bearing the immortal words: 'We're so glad you didn't kill Mrs. Nolan.' Courtesy of Mary Margaret's class of ten-year-olds.
- "Mr. Gold? Are you here for the rent?" "Why does everyone always ask that?"
- Emma describes August as "a typewriter wrapped in an enigma wrapped in stubble."
- Much of Gold's conversation with Archie when he thinks August is his son.
Archie: A son! I didn't know you had a son. Ah, how old is he?
Gold: Let's start with something easier.
Gold: I think he might still be very angry.
Archie: Well, anger between a parent and child is the most natural thing in the world.
Gold: I think he might be here to try to kill me.
Archie: .......That's...ah. That's...not.
- The exchange with Bae and Rumplestiltskin when it's revealed Rumplestiltskin murdered the maid was darkly hysterical. It's the expressions that really sell it.
Rumplestiltskin: What's to be afraid of?
Bae: Dad. There's a stain on your boot.
Rumplestiltskin: [hastily tries to conceal the obvious blood stain] Ah... yes... [beat] We need to find a new maid.
Bae: Oh, gods no!
Rumplestiltskin: She heard us talking about the knife! she could have told somebody!
Bae: She was mute!
- Henry tells Emma what he has to say has to be kept very secret. She asks why he's telling her at Granny's. "I'm hungry."
- Regina's nightmare about the townspeople getting their revenge on her. Her silent meal with Henry at the start is just full of awkwardness, and Regina is just shooting a sort of glare at Henry as he eats, followed by a strange smile. Then it gets weirder as she's apprehended and tied up outside by the people of Storybrooke, all of whom are acting in an over-the-top manner, screaming about vengeance. You can see MM / Snow sporting a really sinister look behind Emma, it's quite jarring coming from a character we're used to seeing as so friendly.
- Grumpy to Red: "You have a little someone on your chin."
- The various interactions between Gold and Regina:
Regina: My tree is dying. Why?
Gold:: Perhaps it's your fertilizer.
- Henry dramatically bites the cursed apple turnover. For a moment, nothing happens and Emma says "You want some ice cream to go with that?" Sure, things got much much worse, but for a moment it was pretty funny.
- Regina trolling Snow after she storms the castle to rescue Charming only to find a magic mirror instead of him.
Regina: I have to stop you right there. I am not in the mood to clean tongue marks off my mirror.
- Chances are, someone's first thoughts when thinking of "modernized Snow White" would be 'The Evil Queen makes an apple turnover'. This episode confirms those thoughts in a rather funny and quirky matter.
- "I was saving it... for a rainy day." "Well, it's storming like a bitch. Where is it?!"
- The fleeting Oh Crap! look on Emma's face when Regina reveals that the person she owes a favor to is Rumplestiltskin.
- The look of sheer pants-shitting terror when Emma first sees a dragon.
- There's something funny about the fact that Emma literally fought a dragon trying to save Henry, and it turned out all she had to do was kiss him.
- Henry calling David/Charming 'Gramps' is both hilarious and adorable, what with the apparent age difference.
- Charming tells his wife "don't push it" in talking to their daughter. Cue Snow coming out saying "We need to talk", and Charming lowering his head in exasperation.
- Snow realizing that she treated her daughter like a best friend.
Snow: [to Emma] We talked about a lot of things...including some we shouldn't have. One-night stands and the like.
Charming: One-night stands?
Snow: With Doctor Whale.
Snow: We were cursed! And that is neither here or there!
- Particularly since her tone of voice is the same casual tone one would use when talking about being drunk or youthful. In this case, it fits since the FTW people are also used to talking about true love in the same way.
- Dr. Whale is Dr Frankenstein. Talk about a Crack Pairing.
- Made funnier in that Charming still hasn't let it go by "The Doctor", where he greets Whale by punching him in the face.
- Charming gets a repeat performace with Hook. It's under not quite so funny circumstances but Hook saves it with his almost exasperated 'I kinda do deserve that now can we get to the important stuff' look he gets.
- When a frantic Jiminy runs up and tells the Charmings and the dwarves that Dr. Whale is stirring up an angry mob to go kill Regina:
Grumpy: Great, let's watch.
- Also funny that it's Whale leading the angry mob of villagers when in a later episode we find out he's Dr. Frankenstein.
- Regina gets into Evil Queen mode and makes a Magical Gesture. The mob cowers in fear right before they realize that her powers still don't work. Regina has an Oh Crap! moment before the mob resumes the attack.
- Emma trying to explain to Snow White and Charming that whenever she imagined meeting her parents, she NEVER expected them to be around her own age or that they're the Snow White and Prince Charming.
- Also her plan of dealing with this news:
- This exchange:
Gold: I made a promise to someone that I won't kill you.
Regina: Who could illicit that from you?
Regina: She's alive?
Gold: You are a dreadful liar.
- Gold's reaction to Emma, Charming, and Snow's accusations against him:
Gold: Well, that is quite a litany of grievances, now isn't it?
- His brief snarking at Belle, even if it results in her being more pissed off than she already was:
Belle: I thought you'd changed.
Gold: What? In the hour you'd known me?
- While trying to calm down a town meeting, Red realizes that her grandmother is carrying a crossbow.
Red: Granny, do you really need that?
Granny: We've got a lawless town, Ruby, damn right I need it.
- Jiminy/Archie approaches Regina at her home to try to talk to her. Regina stares at him for a moment as if she's not quite sure what he's doing, before saying, "Oh, right, the conscience thing." It's particularly funny because, with her tone of voice, it's impossible to tell if she meant A) that 'listening to your conscience' is Jiminy's thing B) that she just remembered what a conscience was C) that Jiminy himself is 'the conscience thing.'
- At the makeshift Storybrooke crisis center, everyone comes to Charming with legitimate concerns, like where Mr. Gold is and if Regina has her powers back. Dr. Whale, however, asks: "Are the nuns still nuns or can they y'know...date?" He also adds: "Don't say it's me asking!"
- Henry tries to assure Charming that in the book "Things always look worse right before there's good news." Cue Grumpy running in yelling "Terrible news!"
Archie: Coming back doesn't fix it?Grumpy: If it did, would I have run in yelling TERRIBLE NEWS?!
- Teenage Regina's first attempt at pronouncing Rumplestiltskin was kind of hilarious.
- And Rumplestiltskin trying to determine why she summoned him.
Rumple: You want power? Destroy your enemies? [beat] Destroy your friends?
Regina: I don't want to hurt anyone!
Rumple: Hard to believe you're from the same family...
- His appearance in the mirror behind Cora, and his 'just shove her in' gesture, were also pretty funny.
- Also, Rumple mentioning how he'd held her when she was a baby. Making rocking motions with his arms while telling her she was "smaller" and "more portable".
- And Rumplestiltskin trying to determine why she summoned him.
- Snow White actually kneeing Sleeping Beauty in the gut so that she and Emma can escape, and Mulan taking Snow down with a bolo. Who knew Disney Princesses could become so violent?
- Charming bursts into Gold's shop, not long after Regina did the same thing. Gold: "It appears when I bought that 'closed' sign I was just throwing my money away."
Rumple: So simple, even David Nolan could do it.
- Given how many times people entered Rumple's shop since the curse had been broken, this was a well-timed line:
"It appears when I bought that "closed" sign, I was just throwing my money away."
- When talking about the hat as a possible way to get to Emma and Snow, Jefferson's reaction to David asking if he could "get it to work."
Jefferson: If you only knew...
- Regina's comment to Charming: "I'm not going to take parental advice from someone who put his daughter in a box and sent her to Maine". Even better, the way she says it makes it sound like it being Maine was the worst part.
- The look Red gives Charming at the beginning of "Lady of the Lake".
Charming: We said we were going to take the kingdom back, and we can't do that with our tails between our legs.
Red: [Death Glare]
Charming: ...No offense.
- Emma gives Aurora her jacket, since Aurora is even less prepared for the forest than Emma. Aurora has never seen a leather jacket before.
Aurora: ...what kind of corset is this?
- This is part heartwarming and part a hilarious instance of Getting Crap Past the Radar. On their wedding day, Snow finds out she's not cursed and that she is capable of having children.
Snow: We're going to have a child!
Snow: We're going to have a child!
Charming: Is there something I need to know?
- From "The Lady of the Lake".
Snow: Just how close is this army? [cue arrow hitting the table]
Charming: I'd say pretty close.
- While Snow and Lancelot are discussing the events of the curse and their lives since then, Emma is seen making faces at the amount of food at the table, sampling them and decides that she likes what's offered.
- Emma's reaction to hearing that they're eating Chimera, which is part lion, part serpent, and part goat.
Emma: Like Turducken...?
- Mulan says "Have you ever seen an ogre?" Emma replies "Pretty sure I've dated a few."
- Snow rolling her eyes at Mulan's description of an ogre.
- Belle goes missing. Gold gets Charming to help find her.
Rumple: Can I ask you a question about you and Mary Margaret? How... How does that work?
Charming: Are you asking for dating advice!?!
Rumple: [beat] Course not. No.
- There's also something funny regarding how he seems to have harmed literally everyone in town in the past.
- And when Ruby offers to help find Belle:
Gold: You can smell her?
Ruby: [Death Glare]
- "Sparkly dirt. Wonderful."
- Dr. Whale turns up at Rumple's with his arm in an icebox.
Rumple: When they say I charge an arm and a leg, it's a figure of speech.
- Rumple's big price for healing the arm? Getting Whale to admit that he needs magic. What are you, six years old?
- Even Whale seems to realize this given the positively massive eyeroll he does.
- Rumple's big price for healing the arm? Getting Whale to admit that he needs magic. What are you, six years old?
- It seriously stops being funny by the end of the episode where Regina comes to Archie in tears because she used magic to Mercy Kill Daniel but, at the time, Regina's "I haven't used magic in two days" comment to Archie induced a few giggles because of the delivery of the line and the hilarity of Jiminy Cricket acting as the Evil Queen's shrink.
- Rumplestiltskin dealing with Jefferson, after the latter gets him some mysterious crystal ball instead of what he actually wanted.
Jefferson: Do you still want it?
Rumple: Nnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn... yes.
- Part of it comes from the typical overly dramatic/hammy gestures and posturing he does while making the "nnn" sound.
- Listen closely, and you can hear Rumple demanding Dorothy's ruby slippers and whining when Jefferson says that she left before he could get them.
- Jefferson asks Regina for a royal passport, allowing him to move about her kingdom freely. When Regina asks how she could do that, Jefferson says "Well, you're the Queen aren't you?" Apparently Regina forgot about that country that she ruled.
- While Regina is lost in thought, Jefferson sneaks up behind her and starts talking just to make her jump. He's clearly having a good time Trolling this insecure young queen, and Regina's startled yelp is priceless.
- Henry talking to the horse.
Henry: Is there anything you want to tell me?
Horse: [shakes head]
- Charming punching Dr Whale in the face for having a one night stand with Mary Margaret last season, and the exchange that follows;
- Rumplestiltskin going "dead is dead" it's just the way he said it.
- Frankenstein says "His condition is ideal, apart from being dead."
- The Narm Charm of a bad tempered, scary giant with the face of sweet, cuddly Jorge Garcia. Though less so when we see his Hidden Depths.
- Emma's attempt to explain the different versions of "Jack and the Beanstalk" that have been created over the years. "And there was a golden goose. Or a harp."
- "I stole a stolen car?!"
- Only one of them (Aurora, Snow, Mulan and Emma) can go with Hook up the beanstalk.
- Hilarious in Hindsight: Hook describes the last remaining giant as the strongest and most fearsome one of all. We find out in "Tiny" that he's an Adorkable Ariel-Expy who was often made fun of by his brothers for being so small.
- Neal: "I might be a pervert, but you're definitely a car thief."
- "I may have left Belle chained up in the library..."
- David, Ruby and Granny, while Granny is casually welding the freezer into a cage and David is trying to demand they tell him what's going on:
Ruby: Know anyone who might want 38 frozen lasagnas?
Granny: I know! Nobody would believe you if you told them my lasagnas are frozen.
- A delightful instance of Getting Crap Past the Radar.
Belle: You have wolf hearing too?
Granny: It's not all it's cracked up to be. Especially when you run a hotel.
- While the circumstances are far from funny, Snow's delivery of "You're under a sleeping curse" to Charming. Rather than the horror she has soon after, she just sounds annoyed that he could be so stupid.
- Cora sending Emma, Snow and Mulan a message by crow. The crow lands on Snow's shoulder and she is able to translate just five caws into "Give Cora the compass by sundown or she'll kill Aurora." No one questions Snow's ability to understand birds although Emma's does have a "WTF?" reaction.
- Emma and Mulan fighting like children when the latter wants to take the compass to exchange it for Aurora:
Emma: Hey! I climbed a beanstalk for this! You go get your own!
- Snow flying-tackles Mulan. Again.
- Even though you know they're talking about putting Charming under a sleeping curse , Rumplestiltskin's line to Regina as he hands her the cursed spindle is brilliant:
Rumplestiltskin/Mr Gold: Your Majesty? You did his wife. I'm sure you'd like the honors.
- Gold, Belle, and Granny at the dinner.
- First, Granny takes a pot shot at Gold with the most annoyed voice and pissed off stance you can imagine.
Granny: And it's made without dark magic. Oh, and I charge extra for the pickles.
Gold: Of course you do.
- Note that when Granny says that line, Mr. Gold is staring into space with an expression that screams "here we go again".
- Then Gold mentions what he thinks the most powerful magic in our world is, in his opinion: condiments (specifically in this case, ketchup). Whether or not he's joking, it's hard to tell but Belle of course seems suitably impressed.
- Also Granny's reaction to having Gold and Regina in the same room. Time to shut down the restaurant for public safety!
- First, Granny takes a pot shot at Gold with the most annoyed voice and pissed off stance you can imagine.
- Regina and Hook's conversation.
Regina: You remember Claude.
Hook: Can't say that I do.
Regina: You killed him in the cell block.
Hook: Ah, yes. I didn't recognize him without my hook in his neck.
- Emma's reaction to being able to No Sell having her heart ripped out.
Emma: [in a small voice] ...what just happened?
Snow: That is an excellent question...for once we get home.
- Also Cora with her hand stuck in Emma's chest, trying to get her heart out. Cora's WTF? expression is hilarious.
- Emma's reaction to Snow's revelation (slash poor choice of words) that the thing about Cora's spellbook was that the spells were in the book. It went roughly to the tune of "DUH."
- The scene where Hook and Emma are fighting for the compass makes him say this line:
Hook: I'd like to do other, more enjoyable things with a woman on her back.
- Regina and Emma's conversation was delightfully awkward.
Emma: Your mom... she's... a piece of work, you know?
Regina: Indeed I do.
- Regina insulting Ruby. "Go take yourself for a walk."
- She gets Doctor Hopper first. "Need I remind you, you got your PhD from a curse."
- Emma and Henry come home and walk in on Snow and Charming having some afternoon delight. Henry is oblivious, Emma very much isn't. Her voice goes up an octave, she starts stammering and the look on her face is priceless.
Emma: I'm...gonna go make some tacos! [turns around quickly]
Charming: It's impressive that we can still provide her with a few traumatic childhood memories at this stage of the game.
- Cora and Hook's conversation when we find out she didn't kill Archie.
Hook: Well, if that's him, then who did you kill?
Cora: How do I know? It's my first day in town.
- Rumplestiltskin's response to Snow White asking why he was in her kingdom:
Rumplestilstskin: Do you have to ask? I came to witness the Queen's execution. Even had my heart set on a wee souvenir. It's all very disappointing.
- This exchange between Gold and Emma:
Gold: Miss Swan, you have your mother's chin.
Emma: We know that you killed him.
Gold: And your father's tact.
- Ruby immediately knows something's wrong when Pongo runs up at the cafe.
Ruby: Emma! Something's wrong!
Emma: How do you know that? Never mind, wolf thing.
- This bit from the welcome back party:
Emma: I cannot tell you the relief of cooking something I didn't have to kill first.
Granny: Don't I know it. Meat loaf back home? What a bitch.
- Emma: "There's only one name on that list who would resort to killing to get what they want." Cut to Gold opening a picnic basket from Belle.
- A dark example: At Archie's funeral, Geppetto says "He's in a better place." Gilligan Cut to Archie tied up in the hold of Hook's ship.
- Discussing Snow and Charming getting their own place.
Emma: But I thought this was what we always wanted! After twenty-eight years, living together under the same roof!
Snow: It is! I just thought it'd be a...bigger roof. With turrets.
- "Right, Claude?"
- While the context isn't funny, the way Gold says "He has to die," when Hook mocks him was oddly hilarious.
- Part of it comes from the fact that he's saying it less as a threat or warning and more of a See-even-he-agrees-with-me casual sort of way.
- This troper feels horrible at laughing at it but Hook randomly getting ran over by a car.
- This exchange between Belle and Hook:
Belle: How did you...
Hook: I know this ship like the back of my... [looks at hook] Well, you know.
- Regina referring to the Charming family as "Emma, Henry and the two idiots".
- What really makes this hilarious is that she's not talking to them, she's talking to Cora, alone. So she's not being her usual Jerkass self by insulting them to their faces; it's just how she genuinely thinks of them.
- Emma gleefully trolls Hook, taunting him about what Rumplestiltskin will do to him and at one point, pretending to punch his fractured ribs to find out where Cora was.
Emma: Hang on, your ribs are broken.Hook: That must be why it hurts when I laugh.
- Also Hook's constant innuendo about the fun that can be had with handcuffs.
- And earlier, this exchange:
Emma: You're awfully chipper for a guy who just failed to kill his enemy, then got hit by a car.Hook: Well my ribs may be broken, but everything else is still…intact. (gives her a suggestive look as she rolls her eyes)
- Their entire banter in the hospital, actually.
- A Meta Example, Greg Mendell's cell phone playing the "Star Wars" Theme, in light of the Disney acquisition.
- Also, just how long they let it play, as if rubbing our faces in the fact that they don't have to pay for any of it.
- Emma telling Henry that the identity of Whale is "weird" in retrospect, much to Mary Margaret's insistence of the opposite.
- That entire scene was hilarious, particularly Charming's noise of irritation when trying to hand an excited Henry a spoon, and Emma just resting her head against the table in exhaustion when Henry refuses to let well enough alone.
- Poor Emma. Discovering the existence of magic, other worlds and her family and closest friends are fairy-tale characters was already insane, but what kind of twisted universe conspired to have Dr. Frankenstein end up in bed with Snow White? And if trying to erase that mental image is bad enough, then she remembers that the only therapist in town is Jiminy Cricket!
- "Rumplestiltskin and Captain Hook had a fight and someone got hurt." "We didn't know if Dr. Frankenstein could fix him but he did." Only on OUaT could that be said with a straight face.
- Plus, Snow's explanation of what happened was such a glossed over, sugar-coated understatement that it was hilarious.
- "Thank goodness!" "Or me."
- As tragic as the memory actually is for Ruby, the way she says: "I'm the werewolf. I ate my boyfriend" and the look Whale gives her when she says it.
- When Whale goes missing.
Mary Margaret: Maybe Doc could do it!
Leroy: Perform surgery? [bursts out laughing, until he realizes she's serious] No!
- When Rumplestiltskin gives Frankenstein a whole big heap of gold:
Frankenstein: Are you a philanthropist?
Rumplestiltskin: Well, I've been called worse. (It's left up in the air as to whether he actually knows what it means.)
Frankenstein: You're a foreigner.Rumpelstiltskin: What gave it away, my rosy complexion?
- Just prior to this, when Frankenstein sees Rumple, the only colored being in TLWC.
- Emma is heading to the hospital to question Greg Mendell with Snow and Charming wanting to tag along. It's a combination of funny and heartwarming as she finally calls them her parents.
Emma: We're not talking to him as a group. We're not a group sheriff.
Snow: But we've been doing this together.
Emma: We're trying to convince this guy that this place is normal. In a normal town, the sheriff goes in and asks him a few questions. She doesn't bring her parents in with her.
- ... And then the way she questions Greg Mendell screams Most Definitely Not a Villain. Basically, her behavior in that scene was how an evil sheriff from a Town with a Dark Secret would act.
- Which is even ironic, when you remember Regina and Graham's attempts to get her gone during the first series. Remind us Emma, wasn't pulling this sort of crap the same thing you told Regina that only made you want to stay more?!
- The way Whale casually suggests letting the stranger die and then later on, tells Charming that unconscious patients are a great source of watches, "Just joking ... as far as you know."
- This exchange when everyone's at the hospital and they're trying to hack in the Greg Medell's phone:
Mary Margaret: You can't just guess, there are millions of combinations-
Ruby: Ten thousand.
David: Leroy, can't you, I don't know, hack it?
Leroy: You do know computer hacking and pickaxe hacking are different, right?
- Charming and Leroy are completely blase about Dr. Whale, while Snow and Emma are confused.
Charming: He's been in a rough place since he brought Regina's fiance back to life.
Emma: Brought back to life?
Charming: Had his arm ripped off and put back on.
- Gold being quick to spot the benefits of Belle's amnesia:
Charming: [trying to drag him off Hook] She wouldn't want you to kill him!
Gold: I'm a stranger to her now.
Emma: [also trying to hold him back] Murder makes a bad first impression!
- The Death Glare Red gives Leroy when he offhandedly mentions what outsiders would do to a werewolf was hysterical, as was her muttering about Whale's labcoat smelling like booze.
- At the end, when Mr. Gold marches in, demands Emma to come with him and then says if anything happens to Belle, he will kill everyone. The way he says it makes it hilarious.
- A bit of Black Comedy, but Belle waking up and screaming as she noticed someone had just kissed her while she was sleeping is probably what some people (Maybe even Emma when a similar idea was suggested with David) had in mind with True Love's Kiss working in the real world.
- The tone of Mary Margaret's voice when she has to tell Anton that Emma, the one human he trusts, happens to be out of town.
- And how she says that Emma is "kind of out of town." I know she was trying to skirt the issue, but since when are there degrees of being out of town?
- Anton getting caught in powerlines.
- Gold's reaction to Emma calling him her father is just priceless.
- Which is really a case of Hilarious in Hindsight considering the reveal of the next episode....
- Gold's reaction to the "taking off shoes" thing at the security at the airport
Mr. Gold: How terribly uncivilized.
- As well as Gold's dialogue with a random passenger who manages to piss him off.
Passenger: It's something pretty simple, mate. Have you ever been on a plane before?
Mr.Gold: Have you ever been impaled upon a cane before? [Gold waves his cane before Emma stops him]
- As well as Gold's dialogue with a random passenger who manages to piss him off.
- Seeing the normally unflappable Mr. Gold being freaked out while getting on a plane for the first time.
- To say nothing of when the plane is taking off, and poor Rumple's face set in the position of a deadpan "I'm gonna die." Cut to credits.
- Sometimes George's assholishness can be amusing.
Prince James: [happily] Father! This is—
King George: [in the driest tone possible] I don't care.
- Anton meets Prince James and Jack. "My name's Anton. I'm a giant."
- This exchange, especially Regina's tone of voice:
Regina: You lost a giant?
Hook: Well, a shrunken giant.
- When Regina meets Anton, who is human size and defenseless, he shouts "Stay back or I'll kill you!" The way he says that threat is just so weak and empty that Regina's response is to burst into laughter.
- Anton's older brother says that humans are evil, which is why the giants no longer trade beans with them. Anton then asks "Why do we keep growing them if nobody ever uses them?" Awkward silence ensues.
- This conversation:
Charming: If anything happens to them...
Mr. Gold: Then you'll what? Cross the town line? And David Nolan will hunt me down in his animal rescue van?
- This conversation, especially considering it's going on while they're being chased by a giant:
Grumpy: So let me get this straight. You got a twin brother?Charming: Yeah.Grumpy: His name is James?Charming: Right.Grumpy: Well, your name is James.Charming: No, actually, it's not.Grumpy: It's Charming then?Snow: No, that's the nickname I gave him.Grumpy: Wait, hold on, what the hell is your name?Charming: David.Grumpy: Your curse name?Charming: No, my real name!Grumpy: So you're David, James, and Charming, but David's like a middle name?Charming: No, it's my name name!Grumpy: You know what? I'm gonna call you whatever I damn well please. That okay?!Charming: Sure, Leroy.
- Emma's frustrated flail in response to Baelfire insisting that they continue the argument in a bar.
- David's utter shock at learning Gold's familial connection to Henry leads to this:
David: Gold is Henry's grandfather?
David: But I'm his grandfather.
Snow: [in hilariously deadpan manner] You can have more than one.
David: It's a good thing we don't have Thanksgiving in our world 'cause that dinner would suck.
- After that part, Snow attempts to parse together their twisted family tree, which leads to this comment:
- Funny Background Event: When Henry walks into the room, Gold can be seen in the background realizing that Neal/Bae is Henry's father, subsequently making Henry his grandson. It's pretty much the only funny thing in the scene.
- "You left me and let me go to prison BECAUSE PINOCCHIO TOLD YOU TO!?!"
- After the Seer epically expires, having warned Rumplestiltskin of a boy that will both lead him to his son and will be his undoing - which happens to be Henry, his grandson Rumple's matter of fact statement is darkly funny:
Rumplestiltskin: Well, then I'll just have to kill him.
- This exchange between Emma and Henry (when they're trying to find Baelfire):
Emma: [pressing the button for Neal's apartment] UPS package for 407.
Henry: Maybe you should have said FedEx?
- Though it's mostly a serious scene, Neal mocking Rumplestiltskin's mannerisms is pretty funny.
- The fact that Baelfire, who is now Neal, has grown so chubby over the years.
- Henry's response over the revelations is to jump out a window. Don't worry, he got onto the fire escape, but his abrupt leaving could make some people laugh. Especially if you think that what's going through his mind is the exact same thing his grandparents thought, Thanksgiving and all.
- For some reason, Snow White acting all morose and angry about her birthday with Charming was kinda funny.
- Cora's disdain for the Blue Fairy's outfit.
- Cora calling Regina's phone tap an enchanted box. With an utterly serious expression.
- Not to mention the disdainful swat she gives it to knock it on the floor. As if it were something like a crystal ball or potion bottle that would break versus something made of plastic.
- Emma casually revealing to Baelfire that Belle is "your dad's girlfriend."
- Cora states "All brides should be snow white," much to the amusement of Rumplestiltskin, who's peeked into her future.
Rumplestiltskin: When you see the future, there is irony everywhere.
- There's something amusing about how easily Henry recognizes that, since everything is getting serious, he's going to be foisted off to Red's caretaking. Especially since Red herself also seems completely used to it.
- Cora actually got the Dark One to stutter.
Rumpelstiltskin: That's what you want, eh? You want them to kneel—Cora: No.Rumpelstiltskin: I—no—What?
- And afterwards, he looks at Cora with the biggest WTF face ever.
- "I can't cast a spell. I can spell 'spell'."
- Rumplestiltskin on Cora's name: "Not a very pretty name. Sounds like something breaking."
- Somewhat of Black Comedy since over the course of the episode, she does break and does break something.
- Emma and Neal prepare to fight off Cora when she gets through the barrier... and then she casually magics them to the woods, where they look around in momentary confusion.
- "You are not allowed to have opinions about surprises, Mr. Son-of-Rumplestiltskin!"
- Having just arrived in our world in 1983, Regina can only give a blank stare when Kurt tells her he's from "New Jersey, home of the Boss." And then she asks later "Is your wife back in New Jersey, with the Boss?"
- The very first interaction between real world Granny and Ruby: "When I put over easy on the menu, I was talking about eggs!"
- Emma's indignation that Baelfire fell for the old "going to the bathroom" trick, from his own son.
Emma: He's YOUR son!
- Baelfire's face when he realizes that Henry pulled a fast one on him.
- Regina's Evil Grin as she watches Mary Margaret look after David without knowing who he is.
- Regina has created a town where she has won, and everyone is completely cowed by her, and so little changes that it's almost a "Groundhog Day" Loop. It takes her three days to get bored.
Archie: Beautiful day, isn't it?
- Compare her two meetings with Doctor Hopper.
Regina: [smirk] Yes, it is.
Archie: Beautiful day—
Regina: [scowl] Save it.
- And then she goes to Gold for help, and he gets some lovely Deadpan Snarker moments even without his memories.
Regina: I'm not happy.
Gold: I believe Dr. Hopper's office is down the street.
Regina: Everyone in this town does exactly what I want them to.
Gold: And that's a problem?
- Regina's genuine disappointment when she realizes that Gold has no idea what she's talking about.
- Regina: Now get off my porch!
- Regina's explanation to Greg for why she hasn't aged. "Monthly juice cleanse."
- Regina's recommendation to Snow at Granny's diner (the "blackened sole"), while VERY dark humor, was still hilarious. Evil Is Petty at its funniest.
- So how does Snow get over getting Regina to kill Cora? Why rock a bow and arrow while jamming to Bad Reputation on her iPod. She's pretty good at it too.
- Even funnier when you remember that both iPods and Joan Jett came from our world, not Snow's world. In other words, those are artifacts from her cursed persona, not her original self. Mary Margaret, of all people, is a Joan Jett fan. Go figure.
- Rumple explains why he's torturing Robin Hood.
Rumple: He tried to steal from me, the Dark One! If you do that you get skinned alive. Everyone knows that!
Belle: Actually, no they don't.
Rumple: [beat] Well, they will after they discover the body!
- Regina tells Gold that True Love's Kiss won't cure Lacey because Lacey doesn't love him.
Gold: Then I'll make her!
Regina: Now there's the charm that should woo a lovely young lady.
- Gold: "I'm not here for the overpraised lasagna." Cue Death Glare from Granny.
- Charming gives Gold more dating advice. "Show Belle the man she fell in love with." Gilligan Cut to Rumple preparing to torture Robin Hood.
- When Gold gets his date with Lacey, Charming praises him and compares him to Don Juan. Gold smugly says "Don Juan was nothing before he made a deal with me."
- Gold's Adorkableness during his date with "Lacey."
- Rumple telling Belle that the pillow isn't to help her sleep, it's to muffle her sobs so he can't hear them. Hilarious Jerkassery at its finest.
- Emma remarking that she would have told Regina about Neal sooner, but she was busy trying to stop her and Cora from killing everyone. Even funnier is that Regina doesn't seem to have a response to that.
- Before that was Regina's expression when Gold told her, and Gold's remark that "fate has a sense of humour".
- Crosses over into Heartwarming. The Sheriff of Nottingham offers Robin Hood's whereabouts to Rumple. His price? A night with Belle. Rumple gives the Sheriff a chance to politely change that price. When the Sheriff refuses and insists, Rumple takes the Sheriff's tongue and starts waving it around like it was a ticket stub.
- Another heartwarming yet funny moment is when Rumple spares Robin Hood and Maid Marian, then trying to say how he missed and continued to dismiss Belle in a way similar to a tsundere.
- Neal prefers August/Pinocchio as a kid. Emma thinks it's going to take some getting used to.
- Emma breaks into Tamara's hotel room and tells Henry, acting as lookout, to kick the door as a signal if anyone's coming. Henry does it as Neal approaches. Neal's reaction? "Aw, hell no! I taught her that. Emma!"
- Emma talking to Mary Margaret about her suspicions towards Tamara, saying that they should avoid telling Henry. Then Henry pops out of nowhere. "I heard everything!"
- The look on Emma's face once Tamara says that she can trust her. It's made funnier when you consider that the one major flaw to Emma's character just happens to be trust issues.
- This exchange:
The Evil Queen: When Snow White is dead, then they will see my kindness.
Rumpelstiltskin: Through the charred remains of their homes. Yes, I'm sure that will be perfectly clear.
- Regina barges into Rumpel's castle and demands to know why he didn't come when she called. His reaction?
Rumpelstiltskin: Do I know you, dearie? [beat] I already have a maid. Promising girl, actually.
- Right at the end, Regina inquires what Owen's master plan is in all this.
Owen: I'm not gonna tell you!
- Rumpel and Belle are on a date when Charming and Snow interrupt, Charming remarks that it looks like they're having quite a party. (Or words to that effect). Rumpel's response: "Well, I certainly don't remember inviting you."
- Hook has a change of heart and comes back, ready to save the day by stopping Storybrooke from being destroyed....only for Emma to immediately tell him that's old news since Storybrooke's been saved already, they now need him for an entirely different situation. Particularly funny is the casual way she said it.
- David punches Hook. Hook's reaction is priceless.
Hook: Bloody hell...
"I'd say threatening to kill me is about a bit redundant seeing as we're all about to die anyway"
- His response to Charming threatening to kill him
- The dwarves are trying to find Sneezy's beer stein in Gold's shop, because Mother Superior needs it for a spell to recover his memories. Gold points out that he'll get his memories back only to die shortly after. Sneezy was not aware of that detail, but Grumpy insists he needs to spend time with his family.
Sneezy: If I don't have a family, do I still have to die?
- Added to the scene is Gold and the dwarves keep pointing out/counter pointing out why he should or should not get his memories. Both sides are clearly fed up with the other. Meanwhile Sneezy is protesting and confused and no one's listening to them (unless it serves their side in the argument).
- Granny guarding Henry with a huge crossbow was pretty funny. Just imagine your own grandma doing that?
- After the Lost Boys (who the pirates talk about as a significant threat) bully Hook into letting them search his ship for Baelfire and fail to find him, their leader asks Hook if he knows what the dreaded "He" does to people who lie to him. Since Hook doesn't, the Lost Boy decides to enlightens him in a dramatic tone of voice: "He rips your shadow right from your body. *beat* Riiiiiiiiiip." Immediate cut to Hook trying not to outright smirk and to maintain the facade that he's taking the warning seriously.
- Belle asks Mr. Gold, "How will you get back to me?" Cut to the whole scene, with Charming standing two feet away. Mr. Gold sends him a look and he runs off.
Episode 1 - The Heart of the Truest Believer
- Gold changes into his Dark One clothes. Hook says "Oh, that's a great use of our time. A wardrobe change."
- Charming punches Hook for calling his wife a "slag."
- Gold greets Felix with a halfhearted, almost sarcastic, version of his trademark gesture.
- And the mocking tone with which Felix says "Dark One" at the end of the conversation.
- Felix's greeting to Greg and Tamara:
Greg: Who are you?
Felix: ["Duh" tone of voice] We're the Home Office!
- Neal tells Mulan that she's in a movie. She has no idea what he's talking about.
Neal: Yeah, they actually made a movie about you; it's pretty good.
Mulan: What's a movie?
- And when she tries to ask a serious question later, he assumes she's still hung up on it.
- In general, her reaction to being told that people in our world think of Enchanted Forest residents as characters in stories:
Mulan: I'm in a story?
- At the end of the episode, Emma gives a dramatic, team-building speech to the group about how they need to put aside their differences and believe in one another. In response to Regina's protests, she admits that there is a lot of "history and hate" between them, prompting Hook to interject:
Hook: I actually quite fancy you from time to time when you're not yelling at me.
- Some of Regina's comments are hilarious.
Regina: [gesturing to the mermaid] Now can I resume killing her?
Snow: Undo your spell! Bring back the mermaid!
Regina: And what? You'll win her over with your rainbow kisses and unicorn stickers?
- Young Henry showing his family snark by continuing to poke holes in Greg and Tamara's plans and overall Genre Blindness with their unconditional trust of the "Home Office."
- "Fillet the bitch!" Oh, Regina...
- While the circumstances are far from funny, Charming's "I will not be capsized by fish!" is hilarious. You don't hear a sentence like that every day.
- Robin Hood unconditionally accepts that Baelfire is Rumpelstiltskin's son:
Baelfire: You don't wanna see ID?
Robin Hood: Who would claim to be that if they weren't?
Baelfire: Yeah, good point.
- The smug look Hook shoots Regina at the end of the episode. Basically "I've been on the team for less then a day, and I'm higher up in the pecking order than you."
- Hook asks Emma what he's like in the story of Peter Pan. He muses that he must be handsome.
Emma: Yeah, if waxed mustaches and perms are your thing.
Hook: I take it from your tone that perms are bad.
- The Magic Mirror gets one in a flashback:
Mirror: Careful, if you drop me, I'll make sure you get fourteen years of bad luck.
- Regina gets one in the same flashback:
- "That election was a sham!"
- Even funnier because it really was a sham.
- "The S word". Savior.
- When the map leads the group to where they might find Henry:
Regina: Peter Pan's here. I can feel his smugness.
- Grumpy and the dwarves accusing Charming of being a Gold Digger.
- It turns out that Hook killed Rufio in this universe too.
- "Is rum your solution to everything?"
- Rumpelstiltskin thought that he'd seen that last of Charming when he helped him wake Snow from the Sleeping Curse. When Charming arrives in Rumpel's palace, Rumpel reacts with a mix of shock and annoyance.
- The opening title card has Tinker Bell fly in, the same way she does in the Disney Vanity Plate.
- In a flashback, Rumpelstiltskin's delight at Regina's choice of meal:
Rumpelstiltskin: Roast swan. [giggle] That's amusing. [beat] You'll get that later.
- Emma notices Regina's reluctance to meet Tinker Bell and asks what she did to her. Regina says "Why do you assume I did something to her?", and Emma responds with a look that says "Um, because you're you?"
- Even better is that Regina's immediate response is basically "...Yeah, you're right."
- Even after everything so far, Emma is still having problems adjusting to being allied with Tinker Bell.
Tinker Bell: You can call me Tink.
Emma: I'm not really sure that's better.
- Tink's growing exasperation with the rescue team's lack of an escape plan - especially when Charming goes on about "When it comes to family, we always find a way."
- The smirk on Regina's face when Tinkerbell reveals that Greg and Tamara are Deader Than Dead.
- Everyone's confused about a certain item in Bae's old home.
Mary Margaret: Maybe it's a colander.
Regina: Right, because preteen Neal probably made a lot of pasta.
- And then when Emma figures it out: "I'm supposed to be impressed that he made a nightlight?"
- Regina and Emma's equally appalled reactions to Charming and Snow's Big Damn Kiss.
Emma: Okay. I'm... complaining.
Regina: What I wouldn't give for another sleeping curse...
- Hook's reaction to Charming telling him about his twin:
Hook: There were two of you? I can barely stomach one.
- Emma, Snow, and Regina are trying to convince the lost boy to help. Regina's idea? She offers him candy. The fact that it doesn't work makes it even funnier.
- After drinking from Hook's rum bottle, Charming gives it to Snow, who in turn offers it to Regina.
Regina: I don't do rum.
- The lead-up to Hook and Emma's kiss.
Emma: Please, you couldn't handle it.
- The opening flashback of the episode, which features Snow cornered by two of Regina's soldiers:
- Gold reveals that he has an item in his shop that could potentially defeat Pan without costing him his life. Regina says that rescuing Henry is as simple as going to his shop and getting it. His response:
- Regina's response to Ariel's accusation of tricking her:
Regina: You went to a long dead octopus for help and you're blaming me for your problems?
- Regina picks up the magic shell that summons ocean creatures. This exchange ensues:
Gold: If you're planning to summon a giant squid, I've already tried that.
Regina: Well, you have had fun, haven't you?
- Shortly after that:
Regina: I have no intention of ordering calamari.
- Shortly after that:
- Gold says that mermaids can't be trusted. Regina responds that Ariel can and explains that the two of them have history, prompting this response:
Gold: Well, that explains the distasteful look in her eyes.
- Ariel's Adorkableness in the human world, like calling a fork a "mini trident" and falling on her face as she walks toward Eric.
- Ariel asks Snow to keep that she's a mermaid secret. But the way she phrases it makes it awkward:
Ariel: Can you keep a secret?
Ariel: I'm a mermaid.
Snow: Yeah, I got that.
- Hook tells Charming and Snow that Neal is alive but tells them to keep it a secret from Emma.
Emma: Where are you guys going?
Charming: [at the same time] Firewood.
Snow: Neal's alive.
- Happy notes how it's not so bad having all the main characters out of Storybrooke due to all the weirdness they attract, and Grumpy insists things will continue to be quiet when they get back. Then Ariel arrives.
- Granny objects to Ariel's attire.
Granny: Maybe you didn't notice the sign. No shirt, no shoes, no service.
Grumpy: Now you got a dress code? I seem to recall some Ruby outfits that are seared into my brain.
- Neal and Hook's dick-swinging contest over using a lighter.
- Ariel being a hilarious Damsel in Distress.
Ariel: I don't understand. Why are we doing what they tell us?
Belle: Because he has a gun!
Ariel: What's a gun?
Ariel: I'm not afraid of you or your gun, and not just because I don't know what it is!
- Ariel is just an incurable optimist.
Ariel: Don't worry, I'll be fine. Even after the magic in this bracelet wears off and I lose my legs, I'll still have a chance to be with Eric! As long as he lives near the beach.
- Regina's comment to Ariel after Ariel comes back with Pandora's Box and Regina rewards her.
Regina: Now you can have legs whenever you want. Or fins. Whatever Prince Eric is into these days.
- The conversation that follows when Rumple takes Hook's sword because Neal has forbidden him from using magic.
Rumple: You mind if I borrow this? You said no magic. I agreed. But I'm not walking in there with nothing but my good looks.
Hook: Now I, on the other hand...
Charming: Here. [hands Hook his dagger] In case your good looks fail you.
- Regina's Death Glare after Rumple asks her if she remembers how to cast a sleeping spell. After all these years he still thinks of her as his teenage apprentice.
- After learning Henry is Emma's son, Regina confronts Gold about it. And since she thinks he's under the curse, he screws with her by letting her go on what she thinks is an impotent rage against someone who can't understand it. Also, "I'm sure you'll be...a mother of some sort."
- It was an impotent rage against someone who couldn't understand it. According to Word of God, Mr. Gold didn't regain his memories until he heard Emma's name in the Bed and Breakfast. He really has no idea what Regina is going on about, which in some ways makes the whole thing funnier.
Regina: I want a child, Gold, and I need your help.
Gold: Well, I'm flattered, but uninterested.
Regina: Not like that!
- John and Michael posing as a gay couple, for which they remain their completely serious selves.
- After 17 years in Storybrooke, Regina still almost slips up and yells that she's the queen.
- Regina's expression of utter disbelief after she realises that Mary Margaret has managed to get Henry to stop crying. Immediately followed by Mary Margaret's comically terrified reaction to Regina asking how she did it.
- Emma asking if her father has an ulterior motive for pushing her towards Neal.
David: Like what?
Emma: Like keeping me away from Hook.
David: You think I'm interested in Hook? I'm a married man!
- Hook calling himself "devilishly handsome" when telling Neal he's giving him and Emma a chance. Leading to:
Hook: I'm going to let the boy's parents have a chance without a... devilishly handsome pirate standing in the way.
Hook: Yes. I am devilishly handsome.
- Hook and Tinkerbell's reactions to Emma asking if there was something "going on" with them.
- Also, Tink's response after being denied her wings back by the Blue Fairy.
Tink: ....I need a drink.
- After the discovery of the bodyswap...
Henry: When we find Pan, remember that he's in my body. So, if you have to throw a fireball or something, at least avoid the face.
Rumplestiltskin: [beat] I'll do my best.
- Ariel being reintroduced to Eric while he's aggressively chopping up fish. The look on Belle's face is utterly hilarious.
Ariel: Wow, he must really hate me.
- Ariel going down to the docks to meet Eric again in Storybrooke...in ridiculously high platform heels. The girl who didn't have legs yesterday is trying to pull those off without killing herself.
- Almost a blink and you'll miss it moment: Hook stopping Sneezy from sneezing by holding his hook under his nose.
- Regina's assessment of stone Charming?
Regina: I can barely tell the difference.
- When Charming mentions that Snow can go to the summer palace with "her new husband," a bit of Real Life due to Ginnifer Goodwin and Josh Dallas getting married.
- Maybe it's because Hook is one of the few that hasn't suffered the effects of the curse before, but all he can say as the curse approaches is...
Hook: Can you stop it? Or will we all have to start preparing our souls? Because mine's gonna take some time.
- Hook tries to kiss Emma in an attempt to bring back her memories after the erasure of Storybrooke from time, and she responds accordingly.
Hook: Long shot. I was hoping you felt as I did.
- Snow White's blatantly obvious, gleeful shipping of Regina and Robin Hood and Regina's response.
Snow: He's kinda cute, huh?
Regina: He smells like forest.
- Regina again keeps the show from getting too sugary as everyone starts cooing over Aurora's pregnancy: "She's pregnant, but I'm the one who feels sick."
- Her first line to Little John: "Show some respect. And some restraint at the buffet table."
- Hook after Emma bails him out of jail in NYC:
Hook: I've been in my share of brigs but nothing as barbaric as these. They force fed me something called baloney.
- Emma's Disposable Love Interest turning out to be a flying monkey. And Emma's reaction.
- A quick, subtle moment, but when Hook crashed her date and sat down at the restaurant table, Emma grabs a butter knife and trains it on him.
- Henry meeting Hook for the "first" time:
Henry: Why are you dressed like that?
Hook: Why are you dressed like that?
- Emma and Regina come up with a plan to smoke out the person who cast the second Curse. They need some information to be spread as fast as possible...
Regina: I know just who to tell.
(cut to Grumpy bursting into the diner)
Grumpy: BIG NEWS, EVERYBODY!!!
- Hook mentions "the monster" that Emma was going to marry. This ensues:
David: You were going to marry someone?
Hook: Did you miss the part where I said "monster?"
- Emma still hasn't caught on that every fictional character is real somewhere, with her sarcastically suggesting the Wicked Witch is behind everything. The look on Regina's face is hysterical.
Emma: What, she's real too?
Hook: Says the daughter of Snow White and Prince Charming.
- To be fair, it's less not believing, and more exasperation over yet another book's villain readying herself to make her life miserable again.
- Upon Regina saying they're dealing with "the Wicked Witch," Grumpy asks her to specify about East or West. Then argues that it's a pretty pertinent point, given they'll need either a bucket of water, or a house dropping from the sky.
- Regina's glorious line, when Snow White protests heading into the Wicked Witch's castle because she has flying monkeys:
Regina: I don't care if the lollipop guild is protecting her.
- Regina finds the perfect reason to keep on living: "I have someone to destroy!" Particularly the way her face lights up with glee is somehow both creepy and hilarious.
- Snow and Emma's Stereo Fibbing when Henry asks how they know each other; they manage to get around to them being cell mates, leading to this line:
Henry: What were you in for?
- Then when Henry asks if they know his father, David practically yells across the diner that they're ready to order to change the subject.
- David's comment after Regina says she's never met the Wicked Witch.
David: This isn't a personal vendetta? Shocking.
- After Little John turns into a flying monkey:
Charming: What the hell was that thing?
Whale: Don't look at me. I'm a doctor, not a vet.
- When asked "he turned into a flying monkey!?", Hook's response is this:
- Emma finds Regina in her office after Regina fakes a Face-Heel Turn and Emma fakes blaming her for the new curse.
Emma: An earthquake!?!Regina: I had to make a statement.
- Regina and Zelena/the Wicked Witch's first meeting is hilarious. For starters, Zelena has stolen a dress of Regina's in her absence, which is pretty darn funny itself, and then this exchange happens:
Regina: That's my dress!Zelena: I had to take it in a little bit at the hips, but it looks better on me, don’t you think?
- And then there's Regina's reaction to Zelena revealing that they're sisters.
Regina: That's not possible. You're green.
- And then there's Regina's reaction to Zelena revealing that they're sisters.
- Snow trying to ship Regina with Robin Hood.
Snow: He's kinda cute, isn't he?Regina: He smells like forest.
- Hook suggests they find the Wicked Witch by looking for someone with green skin, only for Regina to point out that thanks to the curse she'll look like everyone else.
- Regina's response when Emma suggests checking her office for clues to where the Wicked Witch went, and persists that there could be physical evidence when Regina says she already checked magically.
Regina: If you want to waste your time playing Nancy Drew, be my guest.
- Hook, three times in Regina's office.
David: You guys see anything?Hook: Other than an austere sense of design, nothing.
Hook: Were you some sort of botanist in this life, mate?
- A bit later, when David identifies the red stain on the floor as holly berries.
Hook: A bit demanding, isn't she? (Emma shoots him a dirty look) I meant the midwife.
- And when David receives a text from Mary Margaret about meeting Zelena.
- And Hook again when Emma says she'll have Regina drop Henry off at the cafe.
Emma: I'd love to see those flying monstrosities get past Granny's crossbow.Hook: And her lunch special.
- Hook offers to stay and protect Belle. Belle understandably objects.
Belle: You do know he tried to kill me.
Killian: Oh, there were...extenuating circumstances.
- Including that hilarious face Killian puts on when he says "This will be my way of making it up to you."
- Hook offering Neal green Jell-O which he claims "must have great medicinal properties". Gets even funnier when you find out this is a reference to a second season Deleted Scene where after ending up in the hospital thanks to being hit by Greg's car, he first encountered the dessert.
- When Neal and Emma are talking together in the woods, and she reveals yet again that she had been in love with another man who turned out to be a Winged Monkey. Neal tries very hard not to laugh, just calling it "intense" until she tells him it's okay to laugh. But then he points out that in the previous season he'd been about to marry one of Pan's secret agents so he has no room to talk.
- A lovely exchange between Zelena and Rumpelstiltskin:
Zelena: You're Insane!
Rumpelstiltskin: Besides the point.
- A number of their exchanges are hilarious, actually; when he notices the green on her skin is spreading, Rumple snarks that she "might want to get that looked at" and when he reveals that she can't cast the Dark Curse because the thing she loves most is him, he spends a few moments talking about how women can't resist him so it's understandable.
- Hook shows Henry how to navigate.
Henry: What's this?
Hook: That, my boy, is a sextant. It's a tool used by sailors to navigate.
Henry: Like a GPS?
Hook: [Beat] Aye.
- When Zelena comes for her confrontation with Regina, Sneezy accidentally is in her path.
Zelena: Out of my way, Munchkin.Sneezy: I'm a dwarf.Zelena: That's even worse.
- When Ariel shows up, she's not up on current events in Storybrooke:
Snow: Where have you been? We thought you'd been turned into a monkey!
Ariel: A monkey? No, I'm a girl that turns into a fish!
- It's not shown, so one can only imagine Ariel and Eric's confused reactions to Eric's cloak randomly coming out of the sea to find him.
- David trying to be "cool" and taking Henry to learn to drive . . . on a busy street. Followed by the mayhem and Henry taking out a mailbox. Later, Regina's response to this is priceless too.
- David and Emma attempt to put a crib together for Snow's baby...and fail.
Snow: Why don't we just call Marco? He's good at this kind of thing...
David: We're fine!
- Smee being turned into a rat becoming an in-universe Never Live It Down.
- Emma sheepishly telling Snow and David that Henry thinks they're boring.
- Emma and Regina talking about leaving Henry with Hook. Regina asks if she honestly thinks everyone thinks they're just friends with the doe eyes and yearning looks.
Emma: I don't yearn.Regina: Maybe not, but he does.
- And then Emma looking at the book of magic:
Emma: What is this, Spanish?Regina: We're not making tapas, we're making magic. It's Elvish...Half-Elvish.
- When Regina asks for a candle, Belle hands her Lumiere's candelabra. "Not that, Liberace!"
- Emma using her magic to prank Hook, complete with giggling like a child as she does so.
- That whole scene. "I could open a franchise."
- Snow and Charming arguing over naming their child after one of Snow's parents.
Snow: [Leopold] was my father's name.
Charming: People will make fun of him.
Snow: My father was a king!
Charming: Which is why nobody made fun of him.
- Including the hilarious expression Hook makes that expresses his exasperation.
- Emma's Wrong Genre Savvy returns. After Snow White reveals that her mother's past wasn't as clean as she would've liked to believe, Emma says, "But I thought we were the good guys." Snow gives her daughter a look that practically screams, "Have you been paying attention the last few years?"
- The look on Henry's face when Regina reveals that the name of her new love interest is Robin Hood.
- The look on Regina's face when Henry brings up said love interest.
- As Snow realizes she's in the same situation of an evil magic user after her baby:
Regina: In fairness, I was actually after you.Grumpy: Remind me why we forgave her again?
- Glinda's title if you think about it. She's the Good Witch of the South who resides north of the Dark Forest.
- When going through Snow's closet, Charming asks in exasperation why there are so many boxes with shoes on them. Snow responds in a matter-of-fact, 'duh' voice:
Snow: After true love, footwear is the most powerful magic of all! It must be protected!
- Regina failing to enter a portal because she is not pure of heart.
- Regina being ungrateful to Robin after he just saved her from a booby trap.
Robin: Where I'm from, we call that gratitude.Regina: Where you're from people bathe in the river and use pinecones for money.
- Regina, more radiant than a nuclear power plant after snogging with Robin, is a bit off her comeback game:
Snow: Regina! If I didn't know any better, I'd say you look smitten!Regina: [flustered] Well, if I didn't know any better I'd say Häagen-Dazs is smitten with your stomach.
- The whole bit with re-telling how Charming and Snow met is quite funny (especially how the two of them keep turning it into a bit of one-upmanship on who saved whom), but at the end when Emma runs off there's this.
David: She's just stubborn like her moth— (Mary Margaret gives him a Death Glare) —all our family.
- When Emma is trying on Enchanted Forest garb for the first time.
Emma: The only lasting impression I'm concerned about right now is what this corset is making on my spleen.Hook: Your discomfort is a cross I'm willing to bear.
- Rumplestiltskin wondering why he hasn't killed Hook in the future.
Hook: Long story, but let's just say we buried the hatchet.
Rumple: Yes, but why not in your skull?
- Hook's growing jealousy of Emma seducing his past self in order to distract him for present-day Hook to strike a deal with Snow White to get the ring. It culminates in him punching his past self in the face.
Emma: Are you kidding me? How is that not going to have consequences?
- The exchange after Hook punches his past self in the face.
Hook: (calmly) He was asking for it, and like I said, he'll blame it on the rum.
- This bit when Past!Hook is taking Emma to his ship.
Hook: Welcome to the Rolly Joger!
- The part where Past!Hook has a bit of a Jaw Drop upon seeing Emma for the first time.
- Hook and Emma entering Midas's ball, only to have the aforementioned ask them their names. What does Emma come up with? Prince Charles and Princess Leia.
- Rumpel dismissing the idea that he'd fall in love with Belle.
Rumpel: (Laughs) W-w-what?! First, you tell me I let the pirate live, and now you're telling me I fall for the help.
- Made even funnier when you recall that they get married in the next episode.
- Listen closely to Emma's comment beforehand. Rumpel's doing one of those exaggerated "What? No!" laughs one does when they're trying to laugh something off but failing.
- Emma seeing Evil Queen Regina.
Emma: She's nastier without her sensible pantsuits.
- This piece of gold from Rumpel:
Rumpel: There's a powerful wand, which uh...Icametoposess, anyway...
- Rumple after taking a memory potion. "What the hell am I doing in here?" (Poof)
- Hook trying to have a serious conversation while a ladybug won't leave him alone.
- The scene where Hook, Charming, and Red go to free Emma from the Evil Queen's dungeon leads to this exchange:
Hook: What the hell are you doing? You're depriving me of a dashing rescue.
Emma: Sorry. The only one who saves me is me.
- When trying to convince Marian to return with them to the present.
Marian:...Unless you intend to kidnap me. I'm going to go find my family.
(Emma knocks her out with a log.)
Emma: Well then, I guess we're kidnapping you.
Hook: (laughs) I always knew there was a little pirate in you, Swan.
- Emma ends up in the storybook...as Leia. (And Henry teases her about it!) Crosses over into Heartwarming territory as well, because in the previous episode she had commented on how the book was just fairy tales to her because she wasn't in it—and now she is.
Episode 1 - A Tale of Two Sisters
- Charming on the confrontation between Regina and Marian: "No one's incinerated yet. That's a good sign."
- Also his comment on baby Neal's name: "Maybe we should've gone with Baelfire."
- Hook rolling his eyes at Grumpy racing in with bad news yet again. And later on, "Evil snowman, run!"
- He came in with bad news right after Emma pointed out there was always a crisis.
- Kristoff tries to stall from telling Elsa that Anna is on her way to Misthaven, and his story gets increasingly ridiculous as he speaks:
Elsa: Kristoff? Where's Anna? [She finds Sven] Don't be coy. Answer me. [Sven grunts a bit. Kristoff appears and feeds Sven some carrots]Kristoff: Easy, Sven, she can't help being bossy.Elsa: I'm not bossy. I'm the queen.Kristoff: Isn't that the queen's job? Bossing people around?Elsa: Don't change the subject, Kristoff. Where's Anna?Kristoff: Isn't she in the palace?Elsa: If she were, why would I be here?Kristoff: [hesitates] Uh, she had some errands to run. Um, we need more.....frosting. For the cake. [Elsa's giving him her best "Did Anna tell you to tell me this?" face] Yeah, she was concerned we weren't going to have enough. I tried to tell her we'd be fine, but what can I do? Brides. Perfectionists.Elsa: Frosting? There is no frosting!Kristoff: Exactly! She's taking care of that!Elsa: No, I mean "that's a lie". [Kristoff realizes he's been caught] Talk, reindeer man! What is going on here?!Kristoff: Wedding details! I'm just making sure-Elsa: That she wasn't followed. [sighs] You're trying to delay me. [Kristoff looks like he wants to change the subject]Kristoff: Do you want to see the floral arrangements?Elsa: Where did she go, Kristoff?! Misthaven? [Kristoff caves and admits that much is true]Kristoff: OK, yes. But she's doing it for you.Elsa: When?Kristoff: She booked passage on a ship that's set to leave, well, any moment now.
- Sven was going to be the best man (or, in this case, best reindeer) at Anna and Kristoff's wedding. Properly attired, of course. And Elsa was going to be walking him down the aisle.
- Regina needs Sidney to show her who Marian even was. "Can you blame me? She's awfully vanilla!"
Sidney: I knew there was a reason you'd kept me locked up all these years! I knew you hadn't forgotten me.
Regina: ... Of course.
- After Marshmallow is beaten, Emma suggests that she and Hook "Go home and see what's on Netflix." Hook's response:
Hook: I don't know what that is, but sure.
- Hook: "I have all the time in the world...unless another monster appears and kills me."
- Hook listing what they have at their disposal against Marshmallow, and Emma looking more freaked out when he lists something.
Hook: A pistol, a sword, a hook, my cunning wit; I don't think we have what it takes.
- Little Bo Peep is shown as a villainous warlord. Just the thought of this is hilarious, let alone the wonderfully Campy portrayal.
- There's some Black Humor in Bo Peep's Storybrooke persona being a butcher. Or for that matter, the Snow Queen running an ice cream parlor.
- Anna loves sandwiches. Enough for her and her true love to finish each other's, maybe.
- Grumpy pointing out how Gepetto and Dr. Whale are Not That Kind of Doctor. Really, Snow walked right into that one.
- Snow's rant at Granny, Happy and Grumpy. "STOP SAYING LETTERS!"
- Henry helps Snow put baby Neal to bed. When he asks what babies dream about, David and Emma give conflicting answers.
Henry: I wonder what babies dream about.
Emma: Laser tag.
- Regina's opinion on Mary Margaret putting a bird painting in the mayor's office.
Mary Margaret: I just thought it would be nice to try and put a personal touch to the office.Regina: And you've succeeded... hideously.
- David tries to insist Hook ask him for permission to date Emma. Hook replies that even he knows that's old fashioned, "And I still pay for things with doubloons."
- Hook introduces Elsa to cell phones. "I don't know, it's a talking device. I just press the Emma button and she answers, usually."
- Followed by Hook complaining that it's useless to carry if Emma doesn't answer.
- Kristoff's comment after the urn is revealed to contain The Snow Queen.
Kristoff: No one thought to check if it was empty?
- Kristoff in general, really. He's almost as adorkable as Anna.
- Elsa is worried out of her mind about Anna's safety. Apparently she's been asking Kristoff more often than she should if anyone's heard from her:
Elsa: So no one has heard from Anna? There's been no sighting from any of the scouts?Kristoff: Since you asked me ten seconds ago? Nope.
- Kristoff gets several great one-liners during the confrontation with Hans.
Kristoff: (after Hans says he'll make Anna a widow if Elsa doesn't comply) You know, technically, she wouldn't be a widow. We're not married yet...
** And:Hans: This is the man she's to marry?Kristoff: In fairness, I didn't try to kill her.
- Emma calling the Snow Queen "Dairy Queen."
- Speaking of the Snow Queen, there's something hilarious about the look she gives Hans's brothers that makes them back off. She just froze Hans right in front of them, and apparently they can't even take a hint that they should be running away in pants-pissing terror; that one look just screams, "How stupid do you have to be to go all Deer in the Headlights on me after this? You should be running five seconds ago!"
- Snow and David insisting on acting like the doting parents of a teenage girl on her first date when Emma goes out with Hook, taking a picture on her way out and then waiting up for a full report (while David insists he could be spared a few details).
- And Elsa asks where the rest of Emma's dress is.
- The whole thing drives Emma to constantly mutter to herself that it's time for her to find her own place to live.
- Emma asking Hook out is this.
Hook: Like I said, luv, you don't have to worry about me. (turns back to the dartboard)Emma: Good, because I'm here to ask you out.(Hook fumbles the dart and misses the board completely)
Emma: I know how to plan a date!Hook: You know how to kill a monster. I know how to plan an evening out.
- "Shouldn't I be the one asking you out?"
- Emma teasing him about his age and being old-fashioned.
- Hook says he gets to plan the evening.
- When Emma finds out Hook had his hand regenerated: "What do I call you now? Captain Hand?"
- The grin and eyebrow waggle Hook gives David as he and Emma leave, apparently for no reason other than to Troll him.
- The town radio station Emma listens to right before her encounter with the Snow Queen reports that temperatures are "70 in mid-town dropping to low 30's out by the ice wall" before answering a request "from Mr. Rip Van Winkle, looking for something classic to wake up to."
- Anna's complete befuddlement when Rumple listens to her and doesn't try to attack her.
Anna: Wait. You're not coming any closer just because I told you not to?
- And she calls it a "wavy knife."
- Also her commentary on Rumple's "skin condition".
- Anna describing her feelings on Rumple's information about her parents. While she does have legitimate reasons to be upset, the way she describes it sounds more like an overreacting teenager in a "crisis".
Kristoff: That is-Anna: Horrible? Terrible? The worst news you've ever heard and the world might as well end right now?Kristoff: I was gonna say...bad. But yeah, wha-what you said.
- Regina would like to find The Snow Queen "before it's actually winter."
- David assured his wife that Belle would be able to reach them even if they fell through a portal to Asgard. Especially funny considered Josh Dallas' previous film.
- Even funnier when you realize that, considering the other lands we've seen (Oz, Arendelle, Neverland, Wonderland), a portal to Asgard is not out of the realm of possibility. After all, the writers have said that any storybook elements are theoretically fair game and Asgard did originate in Norse Mythology (i.e. ancient stories).
- The entire conversation between Mary Margaret and Will. More funnier, at the end, the fact that Mary has come to the wrong conclusions assuming that her husband had released Will.
- Oaken is just as on point as he was for his one scene in Frozen, meaning every second he's onscreen is one. Plus his offscreen "Ja!" when Anna says he means well.
- Regina adds another nickname when she calls Hook "Captain Guyliner."
- Anna and Kristoff's conversation, some highlight:
Anna: She(Ingrid) 's up to something ... because I'm a good judge of character!Kristoff: Yeah, says the girl who agreed to marry Hans ten minutes after you started talking to him.Anna: I was young and naive!Kristoff: You met me the next day.Anna" Young-ER!
- Remember Anna's pathetic attempt in Frozen to rock-climb without a rope or axe? Well, she hasn't gotten any better at climbing.
- Hook lampshades that Everyone Is Related in Storybrooke.
- Rumplestilskin's secret potion that can transform something old into something new? Furniture polish.
- Henry responds that "[he's] getting married" when Regina asks why he's all dressed up. Her reaction is priceless.
- Aurora's Fish Out of Temporal Water moment when she calls the CD player a "devil box".
- Hook noting that he looks even better than usual in the Snow Queen's (fake) mirror.
- The revelation that people have been deliberately mispronouncing the Duke of Weselton's own country's name as "Weaseltown" ever since he was a young man. As in, a full 25+ years before the main events of Frozen happened. The dialogue where it's revealed is very similar to the Duke's last scene in Frozen:
Helga: We shall see to it that your diplomatic mission is over. And we shall send you back to Weaseltown.Duke of Weselton: It's pronounced "Wesel-ton"!
- Anna discussing how she'll surprise Ingrid with the urn. It's the delivery of the second line that sells it.
Not like party surprise, something more dour to match the occasion...surprise.
- Elsa preparing a Chocolate party for Anna, as both sisters love chocolate.
- Anna saying that she believed every word of Elsa's speech and that she was absolutely crushed. Never has someone said those words so happily.
- Kristoff may have slept in a barn, but he'd like you to know that it was a spotless barn.
- Kristoff also noting how the inability to confront their family relationship issues runs through Anna and Elsa's family.
- Anna being startled at the discovery of Frozen Hans in a dresser, while Elsa quickly notes that a lot happened while Anna was away and that was probably the only good thing Ingrid has done since being freed.
- Anna talking to Elsa about her distrust of Ingrid:
Anna: Oh, speaking of which, I'm really worried about Ingrid right now. She's scary and powerful and smart and scary.Elsa: You already said scary.
- Robin and Will in the library:
Robin: Why would a cat want a hat?Will: I've seen stranger.
- Snow White tried to keep a straight face while telling Regina to button her shirt. Double as a Crowning Moment of Heartwarming as she was clearly happy for her stepmother.
- Regina on Snow and Charming allowing Emma to get rid of her magic: "This is the worst idea you've ever had, and you hired the Wicked Witch as your nanny!"
- Regina lampshades Snow's tendency to talk about hope, saying she must be getting money from "the hope foundation."
- Will surreptitiously pouring his entire flask of booze into his coffee.
- Will trying to pick an unlocked door.
- Hook gives Emma a Big Damn Kiss right in front of Elsa, who just smiles and looks away.
Emma: Easy, tiger. We've got company.
- After Hans manages to take over Arendelle from Anna and Kristoff and rubs it in their faces, Anna dejectedly calls him out, and reminds him that she even sang "Love Is an Open Door" with him. Cue confusion from Kristoff and chuckles from Hans's brothers.
- Anna tried to make a deal with Blackbeard, something about over 200 pounds of gold.
- Kristoff's options included "evil dark wizard" or "pirate". He still couldn't make up his mind in the end.
- Regina declaring that the needs of the town outweigh Elsa's need to find Anna, and Snow agreeing with her. Emma and Regina are stunned to silence.
Snow: Well not right now seeing as Elsa's blind faith just screwed us over!
- Later, when they realize that Elsa has abandoned them to find Anna, taking the only possible preventative measure against the curse with her, Regina asks if Snow has another speech about hope and faith.
Regina: Coming from you that's terrifying.
- Regina also snarks that she should never trust Blondes.
- Anna and Elsa, Kristoff and David, and David and Anna all trying to have cute and touching reunions while Emma continuously reminds everybody that there is a curse coming, hurry up and get ready.
- Anna's Blunt Metaphors Trauma over Hans and his brothers "rolling around" in gold.
Hans: Because my brothers and I spent Wednesday rolling around on the money in the royal treasury.Anna: You rolled around in gold bars? Weird. And ouch.Hans: Figure of speech. We reveled in it.
- A blink-and-you'll-miss moment: Thanks to Elizabeth Lail's performance, Anna's comment "What a funny looking world!" comes off sounding exactly like Olaf's line "Who's the funny looking donkey over there?" and just as hilarious.
- And Elsa agrees!
- While Hans taking over Arendelle is dark, the way he does it is rather funny: he bribes Arendelle's military to his side by...using stolen money from Arendelle's royal vault. In other words, Hans just bought himself a kingdom using its own money, without spending a single shilling from his own pocket. It's almost as ingenious as one of Rumpelstiltkin's innumerable con games.
- Regina's aghast "What am I wearing?" after turning back into the Evil Queen and then repeats the line at the end of the episode when she snapped out of it.
- The latter coupled with Snow's look of "Yeah what are you wearing?"
- Regina saying Charming deserves to die just for his whining, to which Charming gives a quite offended look.
- Henry's worst self turns out to be setting up Home Alone style traps.
- Dopey catching snowflakes on his tongue after the curse is lifted. If you're reminded of Sven doing the same thing in Frozen, it's funnier.
- And earlier, when everyone was still under the Shattered Sight curse, Doc was shaking him angrily and telling him to say something.
- Mary Margaret's response to Regina's angry accusation of not being able to keep secrets. It's part defensive and part battle cry.
- Mary Margaret: I was teeeeeen!
- There's what happens after; she charges at Regina, there's the clang of metal and something smashing offscreen that sounds rather like glass. Whatever Mary Margaret hit, it definitely was NOT Regina.
- Anna's attempt to knock a cursed Kristoff out with a bottle. She first tells him to close his eyes. And she continues to talk to him afterwards, even while acknowledging that he's knocked out.
- Ingrid's arrival into our world. After passing a couple punks to remind us she wouldn't stand out that much in '80s Boston, she comes across a phony psychic and discovers her powers don't work upon finding her out, forcing her to flee from a baseball bat.
- Regina hitting what any parent will tell you is an instant Berserk Button: "DON'T WAKE MY BABY!"
- The return of the same excuse Snow used in regards to going out with Dr. Whale, this time in regards to their recent horrible behavior: "We were cursed."
- The fact that Charming brought up that particular event while under the Shattered Sight spell is kind of amusing
- When Emma and Elsa are leaving, Snow and Charming are still fighting about her one-night-stand in the background. Listen closely and you'll hear Snow shouting "At least he knows which part is which!"
- The fact that Charming brought up that particular event while under the Shattered Sight spell is kind of amusing
- Some solid banter between S.Sight!Charming and S.Sight!Kristoff, "You're from Arendelle what are you doing selling ice, the whole place is FROZEN!"
- When Elsa and Anna are discussing the plan to stop Ingrid, in the background David and Mary Margaret are arguing and annoying Kristoff so much that he reaches for the closest thing to him, which are sheets of paper, and throws them at David while exclaiming, "God!"
- The sheer pant wetting laughs from Regina, Snow and Charming after the curse breaks and they discover what Regina is wearing.
- Anna tries to reason with S.Sight!Mary Margaret. Problem is she's so pissy and showing what a bitch she can be even Anna goes Screw This, I'm Outta Here!.
- Belle's discomfort at Henry calling her "Grandma."
- Hans being denied the dignity of being defeated onscreen. Though Anna apparently gave him a black eye with a hit hard enough to damage her knuckles.
- Emma taking the "rip off the band-aid" approach to putting Hook's heart back in.
- Rumpel's description of Cruella's smell: "desperation and gin."
- Her quip to him is funny as well. "Do you want me to get you a stool so you can look me in the eyes when you threaten me?"
- Belle says that she thinks Rumpelstiltskin gathers power because he has a hole in his heart. He responds that the only thing he needs is clean clothes and magics her outside so she can do the laundry. This is her response:
Belle: You're just mad because you know I'm right *beat* and no, I'm not talking to myself because I know you can and do listen to me.
- The constant fish jokes at Ursula's expense, especially Maleficent wondering if she's up to some hentai action.
- Rumpelstiltskin, Ursula, and Cruella crammed into the latter's Rolls Royce, at a fast food drive-in. Cruella and Ursula seem right at home, casually ordering from the Cluck Bucket - Rumpel abstains, not wanting to die before they even get to Storybrooke.
- Ursula and Cruella standing outside the barrier looking bored as hell as the heroes deal with the Chernabog and all the shit that is happening and then debate whether to let them in.
- Everyone in Storybrooke having reached the point where they barely react to the latest disaster and have their jobs down cold.
- During the opening montage of everyone in Storybrooke, we get a brief scene of Regina casually setting fire to a portrait of some birds that Snow had left in her office whilst smiling happily as she does so.
- Happily? It's more of a "Thank god; hideous painting is gone... and this room works again!"
- When discussing how to deal with Chernabog:
Hook: Surely the Savior and the Evil Queen together can destroy it?Regina: Drop the E-word already.
- Emma and Regina discussing whether the Chernabog is after Regina.
Emma: Regina. We're not sure it's after you.Regina: Of course it's after me. Ursula says that it devours the heart with the darkest potential, and now that Gold's gone...Well, who else could that be? I mean, is there a dwarf named Evilly?Regina: (whispering and gesturing towards herself) It's me.
- Cruella. Waving at Regina. While driving away in her Rolls Royce. Also, the tease in that scene; the camera lingers, just for a moment, on the boot - making you think Rumple is inside. He's not... but the imagery is a LOL in itself.
- Regina's nicknames for the new Big Bads: Fishsticks and Pound Puppy.
- Snow's irritation at the dwarves selecting Sleepy for guard duty.
- Better, her tone of voice suggests this is not the first time it's happened.
- Granny passive-aggressively refusing to take Cruella and Ursula's orders.
- Even better when Will (the guy who stole the keys to her diner) comes in for his usual, and he gets it on the spot.
- This exchange:
Regina: Bring up my former sins in front of my son again, and you'll be across the town line faster than you can say "costume jewelry".
- Ursula and Cruella continue to provide wonderful background snark, such as their comments during Maleficent's To the Pain speech:
Ursula: I've forgotten how much I missed her.Cruella: It's going to be entertaining.
- When Maleficent brings Regina to Marco's house in pursuit of a magical item, Regina comments that the only such item to be found there is duct tape.
- When Regina goes undercover with the Queens of Darkness, she tells the Charmings they're going to have to keep their meetings covert. So, naturally, the next time they meet, they come to the library with Emma and Hook. Regina's reaction? "I said covert and you bring the entire Charming softball team and their pirate mascot?!"
- Rumpelstiltskin on Maleficent's dragon form: "Bit showy, if you ask me."
- When Regina first tries to get Maleficent to seek revenge again: "Would you like some advice? Find another hobby."
- Also, the way she dismisses the spellbook Regina brought along is rather the way one would disparage a coloring book.
- Despite the circumstances (about to be captured, finding herself once again failing to regain her great power), the look on Maleficent's face when she can't turn into the dragon is priceless.
- There was something very funny about Hook pulling his hook out to open his secret chest.
- The explanation behind Ariel's re-appearance? Elsa shrunk the Jolly Roger (with Ariel nearby) to punish Blackbeard for his attempts to plunder the royal family of Arendelle.
- Ariel slaps Hook for what he did in "The Jolly Roger", with the main reasoning being she's angry that she actually had to save Blackbeard's life as a result.
- A dramatic fight between Emma and Cruella being cut short by Mary Margaret knocking the latter out from behind with a frying pan.
- Gold's incredulous expression and body language when Cruella suddenly pulls up in front of him, Regina and Maleficent in her car...having driven there in her usual way.
- Killian getting jealous over Emma spending time with August, and pointing out that she does have a penchant for "men in leather jackets".
- When Regina returns to Rumple and the Queens of Darkness, Cruella snarks that she feels like she's aged ten years waiting for her. Regina gives her a disdainful look and retorts "well, you certainly look it."
- Ursula shouting "cradle robbers!" before she and Cruella get sucked into a portal.
- "Hail Wicked Witch" - Robin's pitiful attempt at maintaining his masquerade.
- Crosses into Awesome. Robin Hood steals a horse and chases down a thief in BUSY traffic in the middle of NYC...all to get Marian's purse back.
- Marian (Zelena in disguise) showing up in Gold's hospital room to reveal she'd switched the Elixir of the Wounded Heart...with cough medicine. And proceeds to go through the usual list when explaining what it will do to him in lieu of healing his heart. Ending with that it's "non-drowsy."
- Zelena giddily knocking on his chest as if to say "Anybody in there?" while smirking as he goes into cardiac arrest is equal parts this and Nightmare Fuel.
- The Author calling Rumpel "the biggest pain in the ass I ever had to write."
- Cruella plays Angry Birds.
Cruella: Blasted birds. I'll show you what "angry" looks like.
- Bonus points for the fact that she's doing so in the middle of kidnapping Henry.
- Regina's reaction to the inside of a run-down tenement building:
Regina: Why did I go to the trouble of creating Storybrooke when I could have cursed everyone to live here?
- Rumple goes in to the pawn shop to talk to Will about getting Belle's heart back. Needless to say, Will is nervous, given Rumple's previous interactions with men who've dated his exes, but he stand up to him telling Rumple that he can put up a fight and that he's "scrappy." Rumple's response? "Alright, Scrappy."
- Charming and Snow apologising to Hook for killing him in the alternate reality and Charming stating that it was not his fault; he had no heart after all. Snow then gets annoyed that he's putting all the blame on her.
- Even with new memories of a happy, healthy life, Zelena can repress her evil side for a whole two minutes of screen time. When an injured woman puts blood on her wedding dress (because she's lying on the ground and the bride walked near her), she starts complaining about how IT WAS SUPPOSED TO BE HER DAY, starts turning green, and runs off dramatically. Leaving her new husband to care for the one who just tried a Heroic Sacrifice.
- The mere fact that this show can have scenarios such as "Rumplestiltskin is in love with Belle and killed Cinderella's fairy godmother" and have that be the staple of the show is pretty funny when you think about it.
- Little Red Riding Hood becoming a promiscuous Emo Teen. Doubles as a case of Fridge Brilliance when you realize the source material.
Granny: I'm sorry that my heart attack interfered with your plans to sleep your way down the Eastern seaboard.
- And as it turns out... while she's this in the real world (or implied to be), she's very much not this in the FTW. The red still applies, though, just in a different way...
- Anytime Rumplestiltskin gives his high-pitched little giggle and/or calls someone "dearie" - bonus points if it's a male character, who usually looks away uncomfortably.
- In 'Untold Stories', a Facebook App which rewards winning games on it with letters the characters write to each other, it turns out Gold left a letter for Belle who slept in late in 'We are Both'. Since Belle is completely unfamiliar with modern technology, Gold gives her specific (and hilarious) instructions on how to prepare breakfast for herself, tells her that he loves her, and ends with 'Please do remember to try to shut the refrigerator.'
- Crosses over into Heartwarming.
- As a part of its promotion during Comic-Con, ABC's Youtube channel released a Singlebrooke dating ad, featuring the cast describing their perfect dates in-character. Special mention goes to the captions describing each character.
- Regina, Makes a Mean Apple Turnover
- Pongo getting his own dating ad on there! He likes fire hydrantsnote .
- The caption for Graham at one point was "just look at him"
- David describing his perfect woman.
David: Dark hair, red lips, skin white as... I don't know...milk? She's... milk white. [beat] Is that racist?
- Henry's favourite girl should like gum. The dog got an add, so why shouldn't the ten year old boy!
- In one of the commentary tracks on the season 1 DVDs, Ginnifer Goodwin says that when they both had long dark hair, she and Jennifer Morrison were so often mistaken for each other that they both, completely independently of each other, began signing autographs and giving interviews as each other.
- An ad for DisneyWorld has Regina strolling through the park, laughing at the fairy tale heroes and plotting their downfalls. Then a little girl skips by, dressed as Snow White. Regina looks at her with an exasperated look.
Regina: Maybe your tale as old as time needs a little . . .twist.
- What she says about Belle is hilarious when you think about the show
- Then there's Disney World's version of Gaston
Gaston: There's almost enough attention on me.
- Storybrooke has its own morning talk show, Good Morning Storybrooke. Here are some of the highlights.
- Dr. Whale dishing out love advice. It's pretty useful stuff, like how if you're a girl and want to impress your boyfriend, you should go to Mr. Gold, have him rip out your heart and put it in a box, and present it to the man you love.
- Ruby doing a terrible commercial for Granny's. It's her standing in front of a green screen that's doing slides of the diner and speaking in a very stilted way that makes it seem like she's reading off a teleprompter.
- Gold narrating a commercial for his shop and all the creepy things inside. Best of all, he has free parking with validation! "Remember, if you don't buy my poisons and potions... Your neighbours might!"
- When a photo of the logo in the window appears in the commercial, you can barely see the reflection of Gold himself. That's right, Gold took a selfie!
- Belle is apparently part of Romeo and Juliet's Misaimed Fandom.
- The Ship Sinking of Grumpy x Nova.
- Snow White gives her classroom monologue on how wonderful and loyal birds are. Then Ginnifer Goodwin says "I'm pretty sure [the bird] pooped in my hand."
- Henry's evil laugh.
- Gold's evil laugh. Henry gets it from his grandfather, it would seem.
- Rumple signing Cinderella's contract.
Cinderella: I think it's more than fair.
Rumpelstiltskin: Oh yes, yes, yes, it is, yes... Apart from the fact that it's upside down, it's fine.
- Gold's wide-eyed nod after this dialogue is priceless.
Emma: So what does it say?
Gold: It says she's a big fat liar.
- It's Emma Swan, Archie, not Emma Stone.
- Sidney can't find his card. "If I had a card, I'd give you one!"
- The random scream from out of nowhere that makes Emma jump and curse.
- "They wanna put me on display like some evil panda? Uh-uh, I don't think so!"
- Which is either a quote from a movie, or a brilliant bit of random ad lib. Either way, it sparked a thousand Internet fan memes.
- Mary Margaret randomly coming up behind Mulan, waving at the camera with a huge grin on her face, before running off-camera.
- The entire cast just doing random things, including performing silly dances, making funny noises and pulling stupid faces.
- Something for any Gold/Hook shippers out there; the door opens...to reveal Gold and Hook hugging. When they realize, Gold swears before turning to hug Belle instead.
- David's gun randomly falling out of his belt in the middle of a tense scene.
- "Did you know?! Did you know the whole time?! Where I was? Who I'm from?! ...Who I'm from? Where I was from... God!" (cue hysterical laughter from Neal)
- It seems that Graham didn't know how to use a handbrake when he first arrived in Storybrooke.
- "I broke the shackles. I'm free!" (proceeds to pretend to punch and kick the guards)
- David running towards the camera but losing his balance and trying not to run into it. The actor's "Whoa-hey-yo!" sound is what makes it funny for those viewers not otherwise distracted by the extreme close-up of the guy's crotch.
- We find out what motivation is required for Hook to pick his handcuffs to escape his hospital bed. No, not his continuing quest for revenge. Not a wish to return to his ship. Not even his desire to flirt with any woman he meets or annoy Emma and company. He "escapes" because he's found a plate full of a jiggly, unnaturally-colored substance and wants someone to identify it for him. It's blue Jello. Or in Snow's (exasperated) words: "It's food. You eat it!" The cherry on top is in the midst of all this, Hook finds time to flirt with Ruby.
- Not only that, in 3x15 (Quiet Minds) he presents Neal with green jello, commenting that is apparently it has medicinal purposes.
- Rumpelstiltskin upon being shown the storybook: "'Once Upon a Time'...how ridiculous."
- Yet again, everyone making the most hilarious faces.
- Robin Hood can't get his arrow back in its quiver.
- Hook doesn't know how to pilot the Jolly Roger...or jump in a horse trough.
- Rumple can't get Snow's necklace out of her hair...so they start dancing together. "Oh no, it's caaaaaaaught..."
- Emma is very frustrated with her coconut candle. And wants to get rid of the camera.
- Zelena gets caught in Regina's office...and freaks out in the flashlight beam.
- Neal makes planes fly with his mind.
- Josh Dallas's hilarious imitation of Ginnifer Goodwin: "Sounds reasonable to me!"
- Regina's little dance in the green screen doorway, where she slaps her own ass. And also strikes a pose when the wind billows her hair in her face.
- The whole bit when Rumple chases down Rip Van Winkle and puts him to sleep is some great Black Comedy, from the fact the reason the fellow is in trouble with him is because he "overslept", to the faux amiability when Rumple says "You need time? Why didn't you just say so?" to the utter glee when he curses him with the hundred-year sleep.
- A deleted scene from "Shattered Sight" features a flashback encounter that took place prior to the breaking of the first curse, in which Regina visits Ingrid's Ice Cream shop and tries to figure out who she is:
Ingrid: (timid) Would you like to try some chunky monkey?Regina: Do you see this figure, do I look like I eat chunky monkey!?!
- Then Ingrid lies and says she doesn't like her job or the cold, and says that she must have done something wrong in a past life.
- The trailers for new episodes like to have fun with the show and all the character names. The worst one? A trailer teasing Hook's backstory shows a clip of Hook and Emma kissing and the voice-over calls it "A surprising Hook-up."
- Regina's Wicked Witch Watch.
- One of the trailers for Season 4 has Elsa receive a chilly reception with her waltzing into Storybrooke's main street. As she walks by with everyone else looking to put up a fight, Emma's only response is an exasperated "Really?"