Granny: I'm sorry that my heart attack interfered with your plans to sleep your way down the Eastern seaboard.
And as it turns out... while she's this in the real world (or implied to be), she's very much not this in the FTW. The red still applies, though, just in a different way...
Anytime Rumplestiltskin gives his high-pitched little giggle and/or calls someone "dearie" - bonus points if it's a male character, who usually looks away uncomfortably.
In 'Untold Stories', a Facebook App which rewards winning games on it with letters the characters write to each other, it turns out Gold left a letter for Belle who slept in late in 'We are Both'. Since Belle is completely unfamiliar with modern technology, Gold gives her specific (and hilarious) instructions on how to prepare breakfast for herself, tells her that he loves her, and ends with 'Please do remember to try to shut the refrigerator.'
Crosses over into Heartwarming.
As a part of its promotion during Comic-Con, ABC's Youtube channel released a Singlebrooke dating ad, featuring the cast describing their perfect dates in-character. Special mention goes to the captions describing each character.
David: Dark hair, red lips, skin white as... I don't know...milk? She's... milk white. *beat* Is that racist?
In one of the commentary tracks on the season 1 DVDs, Ginnifer Goodwin says that when they both had long dark hair, she and Jennifer Morrison were so often mistaken for each other that they both, completely independently of each other, began signing autographs and giving interviews as each other.
The mere fact that this show can have scenarios such as "Rumplestiltskin is in love with Belle and killed Cinderella's fairy godmother" and have that be the staple of the show is pretty funny when you think about it.
An ad for Disney World has Regina strolling through the park, laughing at the fairy tale heroes and plotting their downfalls. Then a little girl skips by, dressed as Snow White. Regina looks at her with an exasperated look.
Regina: Seriously?
Season 1
Episode 1 - Pilot
Granny's reaction to finally having a customer who wants a room!
Graham: Ah, so you've decided to stay. Emma: Observant. Important for a cop.
Graham: It's good news for our tourist business, bad for our local signage. Emma: ...
Graham: ...It's a joke...because you ran over our sign?
And then later in the episode, he shows up at her hotel room.
Emma: Oh, hey there. If you're concerned about the Do-Not-Disturb signs, don't worry, I've left them alone.
"I'm afraid, Miss Swan, you're under arrest. Again."
Rumplestitskin, in order to give Regina the reason why the curse failed the first time, asks in demand to be well off in the new world, AND that she'll do whatever he says if he ever says, "Please." It's just how he's so jovial about it that makes it so funny for what's a pretty childish request.
Particularly the little giggle in his voice when he says "Please."
Snow White and "Prince Charming" get properly introduced for the first time. Well, Excuse Me, Princess! is being thrown around all willy nilly. For both parties. Especially when charming cuts her down.
Charming catching Snow in the net:
Snow: What is that supposed to mean? Are you insulting me? Charming: Quite right, my apologies. How dare I cast aspersions at the person who robbed me!
Mary Margaret informs Emma that "John Doe" woke up. Emma gives her best Flat "What." in response.
Episode 4 - The Price of Gold
When Graham offers her a job...
Emma: Thank you, but I have a job.
Graham: As a bail bondsperson? There's not much of that going on around here.
Emma: I don't see a lot of sheriffing going on here either.
Graham: Well, here's your chance to see it up close. ...There's dental.
"What's with the siren?" "It's so hard to get your attention."
Cinderella's Fairy Godmother shows up and promises her that she will be able to go to the ball...and then is blown up in a shower of glitter by Rumplestiltskin.
Something about Rumplestiltskin bending over to allow Cinderella to use his back as a flat surface to sign her contract. It's the visual oddity of the thing.
Henry plays the classic "I just wanted to spend time with you" card on Emma.
Emma: Oh, that is just not fair.
Henry's reaction to encountering Mr. Gold at Ms. Blanchard's place.
Henry hiding in Emma's car's backseat and jumping out when she is going to find Ashley. Doubly hilarious when it turns out Emma met Henry's father when she stole the yellow bug and it turned out Neal was hiding in the car's backseat.
Emma: A tie? You know you don't need to dress a woman as a man to give her authority.
Graham: So you think you can get people do what you want in that red coat?
Emma: I'm getting you to do what I want right now. *crumples and tosses the uniform shirt*
The Blue Fairy greeting Jiminy:
Blue Fairy: I hear your wish. *beat* You do not have to wish it so loudly.
Episode 6 - The Shepherd Episode 7 - The Heart is a Lonely Hunter
Henry (to Graham): "You kissed my MOM?!?"
The irony is he's kissed both moms.
A feverish Graham is surprised by Mr. Gold who has been doing some "gardening" (actually digging/burying something, while still clad in his suit and equipped with his cane) in the forest, and stammers that he thought he (Gold) was a wolf.
Regina: Are you really planning on running against me?!
Gold: No, not directly.
After Emma rescues Regina from the fire, Sidney comes running up with a camera and takes their photo for the next day's paper. The annoyance on Regina's face is priceless.
Episode 9 - True North
The Hansel and Gretel episode has the Evil Queen spying on Snow White and the dwarves for a second. She mutters "She's cavorting with dwarves now? When did that happen?" It's the voice that sells it; it's like she's watching a reality show and missed an episode.
In the same episode, this verbal exchange between Emma and Regina, when Emma gets called to the drugstore and sees Henry.
Emma: Hey Henry, what are you up to?
Regina: Ms. Swan, he's not your son, how many times do I have to tell you biological bonds mean nothing.
Emma:....Actually, I was here in my capacity as [deputy].
Regina: Oh. Carry on.
What sells it is Regina reciting the entire thing like she's reading an instruction manual.
Episode 10 - 7:15 AM
Emma and Regina discussing August
Regina: There's something about him. Something familiar.
Emma: Must be one of the untold millions you cursed.
Mary Margaret insisting that she is most definitely not a stalker.
Episode 11 - Fruit of the Poisonous Tree
How completely blasé the Genie is when he is summoned from the lamp.
And the Adorkable awkward laugh that the King gives when he can't think of a first wish.
Episode 12 - Skin Deep
Rumplestiltskin is giving Belle a list of chores to do and she's agreeing to all of them pretty much automatically. Then he lists skinning the pelts off of the children he hunts, which causes her to drop the teacup she was polishing in shock. He then tells her he was just kidding. Doubles as Not Listening to Me, Are You?
Later that episode, Gaston shows up and Rumple promptly turns him into a rose and hands it to an unaware Belle, who trims it a bit and sets it in a vase.
And this line:
Belle: Why do you spin so much?
Rumplestiltskin: I like the wheel. It helps me forget.
Belle*about the curtains*: What did you do!?! Nail them down!?!
Rumplestiltskin: *beat* Yes.
Rumple's adorkableness after he catches Belle: Hmm, sunlight for first time in months, oh wait oh wait holding Belle holding Belle put down now oh god this is awkward she felt nice no stoppit!!!
Rumplestiltskin's over-the-top offended face when Belle's father calls him a beast.
Also, the strange, excited "nyah!" noise he makes when Belle agrees to go with him.
Rumplestiltskin's smirk as he delivers his terms to Belle's father;
Rumplestiltskin: I'm not looking for love. I'm looking for a caretaker, for my rather large... estate.
Retroactively funny, Mr. Gold casually runs into David Nolan in the checkout line at the convenience store and they discuss his love life. What's he buying? Duct tape and rope to abduct Moe with. Just how casual he is about the situation.
Gold's reaction to being left alone in jail with the Evil Queen while Emma and Henry go out for ice cream: "Bring me back a cone?"
It's his expression that really sells it.
Episode 13 - What Happened to Fredrick
This conversation between Emma and Mary Margaret
Emma: I'm not your mom.
Mary Margaret: Well, according to Henry, I'm yours.
Nova tells Dreamy how beautiful the fireflies are, strongly hinting that she wants him to come with her. His response? "Have a good time!"
After building up to what looks like Leroy killing himself by jumping off a building above a crowd of people, he laughs the idea off: "I could hurt someone. I'm solidly built!"
"You're gonna trust a doctor who got his medical degree from a pickaxe?"
After the town finds out about Mary Margaret's affair with David, someone spray-paints "Tramp!" on her car and she is exasperated, wondering who would do such a thing. Towards the end of the episode, we casually see a used can of red spray paint in Regina's desk drawer.
Episode 15 - Red-Handed
Henry trying to convince Ruby to get a job involving a basket.
It's partially the way he keeps tacking on "...in a basket" to every job description and (since we see the screen he's looking at) completely skipping over any job that doesn't involve one. You can almost see him trying to mentally tell Ruby that she's Red Riding Hood.
Granny snarking that Ruby dresses like a drag queen during Fleet Week.
"Well, you dress like Norman Bates when he dresses like Norman Bates' mother!"
Cut to August, trying his hardest not to laugh, showing the writers chose to Throw It In.
Episode 16 - Heart of Darkness
Happy driven to the breaking point by Snow White's bitchiness.
Charming: (with an arrow in his shoulder) Does it look like I'm making this up?
The following exchange:
James: Name your price.
Rumple: How about your cloak?
James: My cloak? Why would you want my cloak?
Rumple: It's drafty in here. (Sniffs it.)
Snow White's intervention had many moments.
In response to Sneezy's allegation of her bringing flowers despite his allergies: "You are allergic to everything!"
"Look what you're doing to Happy!"
Episode 17 - Hat Trick
After Emma hits Jefferson with a telescope
"Crazy son of a bitch."
Episode 18 - The Stable Boy
"Henry, I left the code book at home!" "...She's getting in the shower and the keys are under the mat."
The pink, heart covered, glitter saturated card bearing the immortal words: 'We're so glad you didn't kill Mrs. Nolan.' Courtesy of Mary Margaret's class of ten-year-olds.
Episode 19 - The Return
"Mr. Gold? Are you here for the rent?" "Why does everyone always ask that?"
Emma describes August as "a typewriter wrapped in an enigma wrapped in stubble."
Much of Gold's conversation with Archie when he thinks August is his son.
Archie: A son! I didn't know you had a son. Ah, how old is he?
Gold: Let's start with something easier.
And:
Gold: I think he might still be very angry.
Archie: Well, anger between a parent and child is the most natural thing in the world.
Gold: I think he might be here to try to kill me.
Archie: .......That's...ah. That's...not.
The exchange with Bae and Rumplestiltskin when it's revealed Rumplestiltskin murdered the maid was darkly hysterical. It's the expressions that really sell it.
Rumplestiltskin: What's to be afraid of?
Bae: Dad. There's a stain on your boot.
Rumplestiltskin: (hastily tries to conceal the obvious blood stain.) Ah... yes... (beat) We need to find a new maid.
Henry tells Emma what he has to say has to be kept very secret. She asks why he's telling her at Granny's. "I'm hungry."
Episode 21 - An Apple Red as Blood
Regina's nightmare about the townspeople getting their revenge on her. Her silent meal with Henry at the start is just full of awkwardness, and Regina is just shooting a sort of glare at Henry as he eats, followed by a strange smile. Then it gets weirder as she's apprehended and tied up outside by the people of Storybrooke, all of whom are acting in an over-the-top manner, screaming about vengeance. You can see MM / Snow sporting a really sinister look behind Emma, it's quite jarring coming from a character we're used to seeing as so friendly.
Henry dramatically bites the cursed apple turnover. For a moment, nothing happens and Emma says "You want some ice cream to go with that?" Sure, things got much much worse, but for a moment it was pretty funny.
Episode 22 - A Land Without Magic
"I was saving it... for a rainy day." "Well, it's storming like a bitch. Where is it?!"
The fleeting Oh Crap look on Emma's face when Regina reveals that the person she owes a favor to is Rumplestiltskin.
Season 2
Broken
Henry calling David/Charming 'Gramps' is both hilarious and adorable, what with the apparent age difference.
Snow realizing that she treated her daughter like a best friend.
Snow:(to Emma) We talked about a lot of things...including some we shouldn't have. One-night stands and the like.
Charming: One-night stands?
Snow: With Doctor Whale.
Charming:WHALE?!
Snow: We were cursed! And that is neither here or there!
Particularly since her tone of voice is the same casual tone one would use when talking about being drunk or youthful. In this case, it fits since the FTW people are also used to talking about true love in the same way.
Dr. Whale is Dr Frankenstein. Talk about a Crack Pairing.
Made funnier in that Charming still hasn't let it go by "The Doctor", where he greets Whale by punching him in the face.
Charming gets a repeat performace with Hook. It's under not quite so funny circumstances but Hook saves it with his almost exasperated 'I kinda do deserve that now can we get to the important stuff' look he gets.
When a frantic Jiminy runs up and tells the Charmings and the dwarves that Dr. Whale is stirring up an angry mob to go kill Regina:
Grumpy: Great, let's watch.
Also funny that it's Whale leading the angry mob of villagers when in a later episode we find out he's Dr. Frankenstein.
Regina gets into Evil Queen mode and makes a Magical Gesture. The mob cowers in fear right before they realize that her powers still don't work. Regina then scurries back into her house.
Emma trying to explain to Snow White and Charming that whenever she imagined meeting her parents, she NEVER expected them to be around her own age or that they're the Snow White and Prince Charming.
While trying to calm down a town meeting, Red realizes that her grandmother is carrying a crossbow.
Red: Granny, do you really need that?
Granny: We've got a lawless town, Ruby, damn right I need it.
Jiminy/Archie approaches Regina at her home to try to talk to her. Regina stares at him for a moment as if she's not quite sure what he's doing, before saying, "Oh, right, the conscience thing." It's particularly funny because, with her tone of voice, it's impossible to tell if she meant A) that 'listening to your conscience' is Jiminy's thing B) that she just remembered what a conscience was C) that Jiminy himself is 'the conscience thing.'
Henry tries to assure Charming that in the book "Things always look worse right before there's good news." Cue Grumpy running in yelling "Terrible news!"
Teenage Regina's first attempt at pronouncing Rumplestiltskin was kind of hilarious.
And Rumplestiltskin trying to determine why she summoned him.
Rumple: You want power? Destroy your enemies? *beat* Destroy your friends?
Regina: I don't want to hurt anyone!
Rumple: Hard to believe you're from the same family...
His appearance in the mirror behind Cora, and his 'just shove her in' gesture, were also pretty funny.
Also, Rumple mentioning how he'd held her when she was a baby. Making rocking motions with his arms while telling her she was "smaller" and "more portable".
Snow White actually kneeing Sleeping Beauty in the gut so that she and Emma can escape, and Mulan taking Snow down with a bolo. Who knew Disney Princesses could become so violent?
Charming bursts into Gold's shop, not long after Regina did the same thing. Gold: "It appears when I bought that 'closed' sign I was just throwing my money away."
Emma gives Aurora her jacket, since Aurora is even less prepared for the forest than Emma. Aurora has never seen a leather jacket before.
Aurora: ...what kind of corset is this?
This is part heartwarming and part a hilarious instance of Getting Crap Past the Radar. On their wedding day, Snow finds out she's not cursed and that she is capable of having children.
Snow: Just how close is this army? *cue arrow hitting the table*
Charming: I'd say pretty close.
While Snow and Lancelot are discussing the events of the curse and their lives since then, Emma is seen making faces at the amount of food at the table, sampling them and decides that she likes what's offered.
Emma's reaction to hearing that they're eating Chimera, which is part lion, part serpent, and part goat.
Dr. Whale turns up at Rumple's with his arm in an icebox.
Rumple: When they say I charge an arm and a leg, it's a figure of speech.
Rumple's big price for healing the arm? Getting Whale to admit that he needs magic. What are you, six years old?
Even Whale seems to realize this given the positively massive eyeroll he does.
It seriously stops being funny by the end of the episode where Regina comes to Archie in tears because she used magic to Mercy Kill Daniel but, at the time, Regina's "I haven't used magic in two days" comment to Archie induced a few giggles because of the delivery of the line and the hilarity of Jiminy Cricket acting as the Evil Queen's shrink.
Rumplestiltskin dealing with Jefferson.
Jefferson: *holding some mysterious crystal ball* Do you still want it?
Rumple: Nnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn... yes.
Part of it comes from the typical overly dramatic/hammy gestures and posturing he does while making the "nnn" sound.
Jefferson asks Regina for a royal passport, allowing him to move about her kingdom freely. When Regina asks how she could do that, Jefferson says "Well, you're the Queen aren't you?" Apparently Regina forgot about that country that she ruled.
Henry talking to the horse.
Henry: Is there anything you want to tell me?
Horse: *shakes head*
Charming punching Dr Whale in the face for having a one night stand with Mary Margaret last season, and the exchange that follows;
Rumplestiltskin going "dead is dead" it's just the way he said it.
Frankenstein says "His condition is ideal, apart from being dead."
Tallahassee
The Narm Charm of a bad tempered, scary giant with the face of sweet, cuddly Jorge Garcia. Though less so when we see his Hidden Depths.
Emma's attempt to explain the different versions of "Jack and the Beanstalk" that have been created over the years. "And there was a golden goose. Or a harp."
Granny: It's not all it's cracked up to be. Especially when you run a hotel.
Into the Deep
While the circumstances are far from funny, Snow's delivery of "You're under a sleeping curse" to Charming. Rather than the horror she has soon after, she just sounds annoyed that he could be so stupid.
Cora sending Emma, Snow and Mulan a message by crow. The crow lands on Snow's shoulder and she is able to translate just five caws into "Give Cora the compass by sundown or she'll kill Aurora." No one questions Snow's ability to understand birds although Emma's does have a "WTF?" reaction.
Emma and Mulan fighting like children when the latter wants to take the compass to exchange it for Aurora:
Emma: "Hey! I climbed a beanstalk for this! You go get your own!"
Even though you know they're talking about putting Charming under a sleeping curse , Rumplestiltskin's line to Regina as he hands her the cursed spindle is brilliant:
Rumplestiltskin/Mr Gold: Your Majesty? You did his wife. I'm sure you'd like the honors.
Gold, Belle, and Granny at the dinner.
First, Granny takes a pot shot at Gold with the most annoyed voice and pissed off stance you can imagine.
Granny: And it's made without dark magic. Oh, and I charge extra for the pickles.
Gold: Of course you do.
Then Gold mentions what he thinks the most powerful magic in our world is, in his opinion: condiments (specifically in this case, ketchup). Whether or not he's joking, it's hard to tell but Belle of course seems suitably impressed.
Also Granny's reaction to having Gold and Regina in the same room. Time to shut down the restaurant for public safety!
Queen of Hearts
Regina and Hook's conversation.
Regina: You remember Claude.
Hook: Can't say that I do.
Regina: You killed him in the cell block.
Hook: Ah, yes. I didn't recognize him without my hook in his neck.
Emma's reaction to being able to No Sell having her heart ripped out.
Emma:(in a small voice) ...what just happened?
Snow: That is an excellent question...for once we get home.
Also Cora with her hand stuck in Emma's chest, trying to get her heart out. Cora's WTF? expression is hilarious.
Emma's reaction to Snow's revelation (slash poor choice of words) that the thing about Cora's spellbook was that the spells were in the book. It went roughly to the tune of "DUH."
The scene where Hook and Emma are fighting for the compass makes him say this line:
Hook: I'd like to do other, more enjoyable things with a woman on her back.
Regina and Emma's conversation was delightfully awkward.
Regina insulting Ruby. "Go take yourself for a walk."
She gets Doctor Hopper first. "Need I remind you, you got your PhD from a curse."
Emma and Henry come home and walk in on Snow and Charming having some afternoon delight. Henry is oblivious, Emma very much isn't. Her voice goes up an octave, she starts stammering and the look on her face is priceless.
Emma: I'm...gonna go make some tacos! [turns around quickly]
Charming: It's impressive that we can still provide her with a few traumatic childhood memories at this stage of the game.
Cora and Hook's conversation when we find out she didn't kill Archie.
A dark example: At Archie's funeral, Geppetto says "He's in a better place." Gilligan Cut to Archie tied up in the hold of Hook's ship.
Discussing Snow and Charming getting their own place.
Emma: But I thought this was what we always wanted! After twenty-eight years, living together under the same roof! Snow: It is! I just thought it'd be a...bigger roof. With turrets.
While the context isn't funny, the way Gold says "He has to die," when Hook mocks him was oddly hilarious.
Part of it comes from the fact that he's saying it less as a threat or warning and more of a See-even-he-agrees-with-me casual sort of way.
This troper feels horrible at laughing at it but Hook randomly getting ran over by a car.
This exchange between Belle and Hook:
Belle: How did you...
Hook: I know this ship like the back of my [looks at hook] Well, you know.
In The Name Of The Brother
Regina referring to the Charming family as "Emma, Henry and those two idiots".
Emma gleefully trolls Hook, taunting him about what Rumplestiltskin will do to him and at one point, pretending to grab his fractured ribs to find out where Cora was.
Also Hook's constant innuendo about the fun that can be had with handcuffs.
A Meta Example, Greg Mendell's cell phone playing the "Star Wars" Theme, in light of the Disney acquisition.
Also, just how long they let it play, as if rubbing our faces in the fact that they don't have to pay for any of it.
Emma telling Henry that the identity of Whale is "weird" in retrospect, much to Mary Margaret's insistence of the opposite.
That entire scene was hilarious, particularly Charming's noise of irritation when trying to hand an excited Henry a spoon, and Emma just resting her head against the table in exhaustion when Henry refuses to let well enough alone.
Poor Emma. Discovering the existence of magic, other worlds and her family and closest friends are fairy-tale characters was already insane, but what kind of twisted universe conspired to have Dr. Frankenstein end up in bed with Snow White? And if trying to erase that mental image is bad enough, then she remembers that the only therapist in town is Jiminy Cricket!
"Rumplestiltskin and Captain Hook had a fight and someone got hurt." "We didn't know if Dr. Frankenstein could fix him but he did." Only on OUaT could that be said with a straight face.
"Thank goodness!" "Or me."
As tragic as the memory actually is for Ruby, the way she says: "I'm the werewolf. I ate my boyfriend" and the look Whale gives her when she says it.
When Whale goes missing.
Mary Margaret: Maybe Doc could do it!
Leroy: Perform surgery?(bursts out laughing, until he realizes she's serious)No!
When Rumplestiltskin gives Frankenstein a whole big heap of gold:
Frankenstein: Are you a philanthropist?
Rumplestiltskin: Well, I've been called worse. (It's left up in the air as to whether he actually knows what it means.)
Emma is heading to the hospital to question Greg Mendell with Snow and Charming wanting to tag along. It's a combination of funny and heartwarming as she finally calls them her parents.
Emma: We're not talking to him as a group. We're not a group sheriff.
Snow: But we've been doing this together.
Emma: We're trying to convince this guy that this place is normal. In a normal town, the sheriff goes in and asks him a few questions. She doesn't bring her parents in with her.
Which is even ironic, when you remember Regina and Graham's attempts to get her gone during the first series. Remind us Emma, wasn't pulling this sort of crap the same thing you told Regina that only made you want to stay more?!
The way Whale casually suggests letting the stranger die and then later on, tells Charming that unconscious patients are a great source of watches, "Just joking... you think."
This exchange when everyone's at the hospital and they're trying to hack in the Greg Medell's phone:
Mary Margaret: You can't just guess, there are millions of combinations—
Ruby: Ten thousand.
David: Leroy, can't you, I don't know, hack it?
Leroy: You do know computer hacking and pickaxe hacking are different, right?
Charming and Leroy are completely blase about Dr. Whale, while Snow and Emma are confused.
Charming: He's been in a rough place since he brought Regina's fiance back to life.
Snow: Daniel?
Emma: Brought back to life?
Charming: Had his arm ripped off and put back on.
Leroy: Cool.
Gold being quick to spot the benefits of Belle's amnesia:
Charming: (trying to drag him off Hook): "She wouldn't want you to kill him!"
Gold: "I'm a stranger to her now."
Emma: (also trying to hold him back): "Murder makes a bad first impression!"
The Death Glare Red gives Leroy when he offhandedly mentions what outsiders would do to a werewolf was hysterical, as was her muttering about Whale's labcoat smelling like booze.
Tiny
The tone of Mary Margaret's voice when she has to tell Anton that Emma, the one human he trusts, happens to be out of town.
Leroy struggling to sort out David/James/Charming's various names, all as they're running for their lives.
Gold's reaction to Emma calling him her father is just priceless.
Which is really a case of Hilarious in Hindsight considering the reveal of the next episode....
Gold's reaction to the "taking off shoes" thing at the security at the airport
Mr. Gold: "How terribly uncivilized."
As well as Gold's dialogue with a random passenger who manages to piss him off.
Passanger: It's something pretty simple, mate. Have you ever been on a plane before?
Mr.Gold: Have you ever been impaled upon a cane before? (Gold waves his cane before Emma stops him)
Seeing the normally unflappable Mr. Gold being freaked out while getting on a plane for the first time.
King George (in the driest tone possible): I don't care.
Anton meets Prince James and Jack. "My name's Anton. I'm a giant."
This exchange, especially Regina's tone of voice:
Regina: You lost a giant?
Hook: Well, a shrunken giant.
Anton's older brother says that humans are evil, which is why the giants no longer trade beans with them. Anton then asks "Why do we keep growing them if nobody ever uses them?" Awkward silence ensues.
Manhattan
Emma's frustrated flail in response to Baelfire insisting that they continue the argument in a bar.
David's utter shock at learning Gold's familial connection to Henry leads to this:
David:Gold is Henry's grandfather?
Snow: Yes
David: But I'm his grandfather.
Snow: (in hilariously deadpan manner) You can have more than one.
After that part, Snow attempts to parse together their twisted family tree, which leads to this comment:
David: It's a good thing we don't have Thanksgiving in our world 'cause that dinner would suck.
Funny Background Event: When Henry walks into the room, Gold can be seen in the background realizing that Neal/Bae is Henry's father, subsequently making Henry his grandson. It's pretty much the only funny thing in the scene.
"You left me and let me go to prison BECAUSE PINOCCHIO TOLD YOU TO!?!"
After the Seer epically expires, having warned Rumplestiltskin of a boy that will both lead him to his son and will be his undoing - which happens to be Henry, his grandson Rumple's matter of fact statement is darkly funny:
Well, then I'll just have to kill him.
This exchange between Emma and Henry (when they're trying to find Baelfire):
Emma: (pressing the button for Neal's apartment) UPS package for 407.
(line disconnects)
Henry: Maybe you should have said FedEx?
The Queen Is Dead
Cora's disdain for the Blue Fairy's outfit.
The Miller's Daughter
Cora calling Regina's phone tap an enchanted box. With an utterly serious expression.
Not to mention the disdainful swat she gives it to knock it on the floor. As if it were something like a crystal ball or potion bottle that would break versus something made of plastic.
Emma casually revealing to Baelfire that Belle is "your dad's girlfriend."
Cora states "All brides should be snow white," much to the amusement of Rumplestiltskin, who's peeked into her future.
Rumplestiltskin: When you see the future, there is irony everywhere.
There's something amusing about how easily Henry recognizes that, since everything is getting serious, he's going to be foisted off to Red's caretaking. Especially since Red herself also seems completely used to it.
"I can't cast a spell. I can spell 'spell'."
Rumplestiltskin on Cora's name: "Not a very pretty name. Sounds like something breaking."
Somewhat of Black Comedy since over the course of the episode, she does break and does break something.
Emma and Neal prepare to fight off Cora when she gets through the barrier... and then she casually magics them to the woods, where they look around in momentary confusion.
"You are not allowed to have opinions about surprises, Mr. Son-of-Rumplestiltskin!
Welcome To Storybrooke
Having just arrived in our world in 1983, Regina can only give a blank stare when Kurt tells her he's from "New Jersey, home of the Boss." And then she asks later "Is your wife back in New Jersey, with the Boss?"
The very first interaction between real world Granny and Ruby: "When I put over easy on the menu, I was talking about eggs!"
Emma's indignation that Baelfire fell for the old "going to the bathroom" trick, from his own son.
Baelfire's face when he realizes that Henry pulled a fast one on him.
Regina has created a town where she has won, and everyone is completely cowed by her, and so little changes that it's almost a Groundhog Day Loop. It takes her three days to get bored.
Compare her two meetings with Doctor Hopper.
Archie: Beautiful day, isn't it?
Regina: *smirk* Yes, it is.
Archie: Beautiful day-
Regina: *scowl* Save it.
And then she goes to Gold for help, and he gets some lovely Deadpan Snarker moments even without his memories.
Regina: I'm not happy.
Gold: I believe Dr. Hopper's office is down the street.
Regina: Everyone in this town does exactly what I want them to.
Gold: And that's a problem?
Regina's genuine disappointment when she realizes that Gold has no idea what she's talking about.
Regina's explanation to Greg for why she hasn't aged. "Monthly juice cleanse."
Regina's recommendation to Snow at Granny's diner (the "blackened sole"), while VERY dark humor, was still hilarious. Evil Is Petty at its funniest.
So how does Snow get over getting Regina to kill Cora? Why rock a bow and arrow while jamming to Bad Reputation on her iPod. She's pretty good at it too.
Lacey
Rumple explains why he's torturing Robin Hood.
Rumple: He tried to steal from me, the Dark One! If you do that you get skinned alive. Everyone knows that!
Belle: Actually, no they don't.
Rumple: (beat) Well, they will after they discover the body!
Regina tells Gold that True Love's Kiss won't cure Lacey because Lacey doesn't love him.
Gold: Then I'll make her!
Regina: Now there's the charm that should woo a lovely young lady.
Gold: "I'm not here for the overpraised lasagna." Cue Death Glare from Granny.
Charming gives Gold more dating advice. "Show Belle the man she fell in love with." Gilligan Cut to Rumple preparing to torture Robin Hood.
When Gold gets his date with Lacey, Charming praises him and compares him to Don Juan. Gold smugly says "Don Juan was nothing before he made a deal with me."
Rumple telling Belle that the pillow isn't to help her sleep, it's to muffle her sobs so he can't hear them. Hilarious Jerkassery at its finest.
Emma remarking that she would have told Regina about Neal sooner, but she was busy trying to stop her and Cora from killing everyone. Even funnier is that Regina doesn't seem to have a response to that.
Before that was Regina's expression when Gold told her, and Gold's remark that "fate has a sense of humour".
Crosses over into Heartwarming. The Sheriff of Nottingham offers Robin Hood's whereabouts to Rumple. His price? A night with Belle. Rumple gives the Sheriff a chance to politely change that price. When the Sheriff refuses and insists, Rumple takes the Sheriff's tongue and starts waving it around like it was a ticket stub.
Neal prefers August/Pinocchio as a kid. Emma thinks it's going to take some getting used to.
The Evil Queen
Emma breaks into Tamara's hotel room and tells Henry, acting as lookout, to kick the door as a signal if anyone's coming. Henry does it as Neal approaches. Neal's reaction? "Aw, hell no! I taught her that. Emma!"
Emma talking to Mary Margaret about her suspicions towards Tamara, saying that they should avoid telling Henry. Then Henry pops out of nowhere. "I heard everything!"
Second Star to the Right
Rumpel and Belle are on a date when Charming and Snow interrupt, Charming remarks that it looks like they're having quite a party. (Or words to that effect). Rumpel's response: "Well, I certainly don't remember inviting you."
And Straight On Til Morning
Hook has a change of heart and comes back, ready to save the day by stopping Storybrooke from being destroyed....only for Emma to immediately tell him that's old news since Storybrooke's been saved already, they now need him for an entirely different situation. Particularly funny is the casual way she said it.
David punches Hook. Hook's reaction is priceless.
Hook: Bloody hell...
The dwarves are trying to find Sneezy's beer stein in Gold's shop, because Mother Superior needs it for a spell to recover his memories. Gold points out that he'll get his memories back only to die shortly after. Sneezy was not aware of that detail, but Grumpy insists he needs to spend time with his family.
Sneezy: If I don't have a family, do I still have to die?
Added to the scene is Gold and the dwarves keep pointing out/counter pointing out why he should or should not get his memories. Both sides are clearly fed up with the other. Meanwhile Sneezy is protesting and confused and no one's listening to them (unless it serves their side in the argument).
Granny guarding Henry with a huge crossbow was pretty funny. Just imagine your own grandma doing that?
After the Lost Boys (who the pirates talk about as a significant threat) bully Hook into letting them search his ship for Baelfire and fail to find him, their leader asks Hook if he knows what the dreaded "He" does to people who lie to him. Since Hook doesn't, the Lost Boy decides to enlightens him in a dramatic tone of voice: "He rips your shadow right from your body. *beat* Riiiiiiiiiip." Immediate cut to Hook trying not to outright smirk and to maintain the facade that he's taking the warning seriously.
Outtakes
Snow White gives her classroom monologue on how wonderful and loyal birds are. Then Ginnifer Goodwin says "I'm pretty sure [the bird] pooped in my hand."
Henry's evil laugh.
Gold's evil laugh. Henry gets it from his grandfather, it would seem.
Rumple signing Cinderella's contract. "Apart from the fact that it's upside down."
Gold's wide-eyed nod after this dialogue is priceless.
Emma: So what does it say?
Gold: It says she's a big fat liar.
It's Emma Swan, Archie, not Emma Stone.
Sidney can't find his card. "If I had a card, I'd give you one!"
