Funny: Leverage

As noted on the main Leverage page, the show's producers try to go for at least a 1:1 ratio of CMoFs and CMoAs in every episode. Here's the funny.
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     Season 1 
  • From "The Nigerian Job":
    Dubenich: Higgins, you can't do that! You can't take my computer!
    Special Agent Higgins: This company has government defense contracts. There's very serious rules concerning contact with foreign nationals. The PATRIOT Act applies here, my friend! Sir, I can take your underpants.
    • Sophie's Bad Bad Acting, and the entire team's paralyzed reactions. Parker looks perplexed, Hardison shocked at what he's seeing. Nate manages to look unlike Timothy Hutton and Eliot just looks furious. Eliot tries to think of situations that he hated more, mentally calling up times that he was captured and tortured. He fails to find something he was less comfortable with.
    Hardison: She's very awful.
  • From "The Homecoming Job":
    Hardison: I just have to spoof the IP address and overlay a digital duplicate on the wi-fi—
    * Eliot throws a rock at the camera*
    Hardison: —Or that.
    Eliot: Let's go.
    Hardison: I'm sorry it was too far away for you to punch, I'm sure that really frustrates you.
    • Parker using Hardison as her rappelling guinea pig.
    • Before the Mood Whiplash hits, Corporal Perry's video is pretty funny.
    Perry: Hey, come say hello to Jenny!
    Soldier: He's cheatin' on you!
    Perry: Nice, man.
    Soldier: With a camel. A drunk, slutty camel.
    Perry: Okay, it was one time, and the camel's been texting me ever since, but it's over, I swear.
    • And also, of course:
    Hardison: Okay I see what this is. This is racial. This is about my ethniticity, ain't it? Uh-huh? It's 'cause I'm Jewish?
    • An extra subtle nudge towards the bait — the name patch on his shirt says "White".
    • Nate and Sophie's Hawaiian-Shirted Tourist disguise to distract the PMC guards.
    • And this:
    Parker: I bought a plant! ...what does it do?
    • The mark's safe has a voice sample lock, and Parker needs the sounds "f" "oo" and "k" to have a complete phoneme list for him; Elliot fakes him out by pretending the shrimp tray has escargo on it:
    Dufort: *spits it out* It's shrimp, you stupid fu--
    Parker: Got it!
  • "The Two-Horse Job", Parker explaining why she doesn't like horses.
    "I once saw a horse kill a clown." *Cut to a man dressed as a horse beating a clown who owes him money.*
  • Parker complimenting Sophie's performance as Willy Loman from Death of a Salesman in "The Miracle Job." Or so Parker thinks.
    "Yeah, it was like a horror movie. 'Attention must be PAID!'"
    • Then, there's the whole discussion when Hardison is trying to get the fake statues to bleed.
    Nate: Ok, Hardison, will you just make the statue cry without melting St. Nick's head?
    Parker: Don't melt Santa!
    Eliot/Hardison: It's not Santa!
    • Sophie's exasperation with Nate's miracles.
    Sophie: Have you learnt NOTHING, Nate?
    • Three words: stigmata paintball gun.
    • Hardison on his chemical reaction statue miracles: "Don't eat it...or breathe near it..." Eliot and Nate quickly back away.
    • Honestly, the whole reveal that lying, thieving, alcoholic mess Nate almost became a priest.
  • Hardison hamming it up while talking to local cops in "The Bank Shot Job:"
    Cop: I think we should go by the book on this one.
    Hardison: The book?! The book got a good man killed! (turns away, apparently overcome by emotion)
    Parker: (to cop) Ex-partner. Probably shouldn't mention the book again. (Beat) Or propellers.
    • Sophie introducing herself to one of the bank robbers.
    Clark: Why should I trust you? I don't even know who you are!
    Sophie: I'm a thief!
    Clark: Okay...(Beat) I'm not sure what to do with that.
    • Elliot's fight with the meth heads.
    Elliot: What smells like crank and screams like a girl?
    • Judge Roy's Humiliation Conga when the team frames him for robbing the bank by placing crystal meth into his briefcase prompting his explosive behavior, the bank co-workers turn on him and Hardison's doctored security footage.
      • Especially Hardison's looks at him when they reveal a few packs of crystal meths inside his bag.
    • Then comes this final breakdown line once he was dragged away by the cops:
      "Whoa! Hey Bill! Listen to me! These people, they're trying to set me up. They had this planned from the start! THEY'RE TRYING TO DESTROY ME!"
    • The kicker is when Sophie complimenting Hardison for the doctored video:
    Sophie: You're still a geek!
    Hardison: Geek power, baby. Stay strong!
    • The completely bemused reactions from the real FBI agents when they arrive on the scene to find the bank robbery has already been resolved and the local meth-heads have been arrested to boot. They have no idea what's going on and just roll with it like everything is going like it should.
  • Sophie's entrance dressed as Sister Magda in "The Stork Job."
    Hardison: (To Eliot) Tell me you didn't see this coming.
    • The best part is after Nate knows her role as Sister Magda, Nate couldn't tell her acting sucks and encourage her to go on with it while his crew at the background were shocked and disappointed about it.
    • Parker trying to speak Serbian.
    Parker: -I will make your tomato shiny.-.. Haagan Dazs?
    Parker: (After being caught) Oh shiny tomato.
    • At the end, after everything's worked out...Parker says that they have to stop at Haagen Dazs. And the kids shout "Haagan Dazs!".
    • At the initial recon meeting, Eliot is nursing a bruised cheek. How was he supposed to know it was a lesbian bar?
  • The scene near the beginning of "The Wedding Job," where Parker is teaching the kid how to pick locks. Simultaneously hilarious and heartwarming.
    • Both Sophie and Nate's horrible, horrible speeches to the bride and the entire wedding (respectively) Sophie tells the poor bride to "never put her faith in a man" and Nate (as a priest) waving off the groom's objection to his rambling "We're good, man." However, his speech swings around to heartwarming as he admits Sophie has made him a better man and he should just admit it.
    • Hardison's wonderful response to Sophie staying at the wedding:
    Hardison: Have you ever been to Kiev? The Cakemaker of Kiev could whoop all our asses! This is The Butcher.
    • Nate and Elliot on the Butcher of Kiev. Notably, Elliot can't quite pin down whether the Butcher will remember him out of resentment or respect:
    Nate: Think he'll recognize you?
    (cut to Elliot and the Butcher Knife Fighting in a burning building, with Russian Background Music)
    Butcher: (Slasher Smile) I... (deep breath) KILL YOU!
    Eliot: ...Yeah, I think he'd remember me.
    • Then, this little exchange following Eliot's encounter with the Butcher of Kiev:
    Nate: Did you just kill someone with an appetizer?!
    Eliot: I don't know, maybe....
    • Eliot's Skewed Priorities regarding his cooking. He takes the food preparation very seriously.
  • In "The Mile High Job:"
    • Pretty much every scene with Hardison infiltrating the Genegro office building.
    • Reason is that the team was suppose to take down the mark but Hardison bails out and there's a recurring gag that the team wants to kill him. But since he's the only person not on the plane, Hardison has to do it. The best part is Nate realize why he bails out the job :
      Nate: Hardison! You bailed on the job because you were up all night playing a game?
    • Getting Parker's disguise:
    Sophie: How did you both know there would be an extra uniform in the bag?
    Nate: Everyone knows flight attendants are required to carry extra uniforms, in case they get called to work unexpectedly.
    Eliot: Or if something happens to the one they're already wearing.
    Sophie: How does everyone know that?
    Nate / Eliot (simultaneously): Worked airport security. / Slept with a flight attendant.
  • "The Snow Job". In order to create a distraction, they shut down all the ski lifts. Parker hangs off one by one hand and looks around casually. After being prompted, she says in the most serious way possible, 'Help, help.' And then she looks up at the guy who was sitting next to her and nonchalantly asks 'How you doin'?"
    • Parker gets another one when posing as a patient with a brain tumour, and Dennis, their mark, says that you can tell she has a tumour in her brain. "Those dead eyes. Like there's no soul" and Parker, without changing her facial expression, somehow still manages to glare at him.
    • Before that, Parker was being given tips from Sophie on how to properly act to be convincing. Since she was to play a terminal patient, she should look sad, so Sophie tells Parker to visualize a sad moment in her life, and when she tells her to think of the day her father died, Parker nearly busts a gut laughing instead.
  • In "The 12 Step Job", after Eliot turns on the charm with the receptionist at the clinic, Hardison introduces himself to her by explaining "I'm *with* him". The hilarity of his performance and the receptionist's rapid turn-off is second only to Eliot's look of frozen horror.
    • The standoff where Hardison and Elliot are being threatened by both a group of Mexican and a group of Korean criminals (and Hardison is pretending to be a Jamaican criminal) who want Hurley dead. Eliot whips out the bomb that one of the two groups presumably planted, and without a beat both groups say that it was "the Chileans'" bomb.
    Hardison: (disbelieving) You mean there's more guys that want this dude dead?
  • In "The Juror #6 Job", when they need to teach Parker social skills, they practice by having her convince Eliot to eat an orange instead of an apple. Just as he takes a bite of the apple, she shouts "I PUT A RAZOR BLADE IN THAT APPLE!" and he does a Spit Take. Eliot asks if she was joking, and she says "maybe" innocently.
    Parker: But do you know what doesn’t have a razor blade in it? This orange.
    • After the team wins the trial with Hardison pretending to be an attorney:
    Nate: Do you realize what you just did? You won a jury trial without cheating.
    Hardison: Without cheating? I hacked a government no-fly list and used it to humiliate a witness.
    Nate: Excessively, cheating excessively is what I meant.
    • By complete accident, Sophie made Earnshaw spend millions of dollars unnecessarily buying out Mumbai International, a company she was pretending she worked for. We get a quick scene of the deal taking place, and the guys signing over Mumbai International have absolutely no clue what's going on and are just trying not to look a gift horse in the mouth.
    • Sophie sets up a videoconference call with a representative of Mumbai International, at his office. He certainly looks the part, both looking Indian and speaking with the proper accent. Once it's over, we see that the "representative" was an actor in the next room over, in front of a green screen. He's a friend of the team's and speaks with a pronounced Scottish brogue.
    • Hardison while trying to stall the trial long enough to get a settlement.
    Hardison: I literally can not make this slower or any more boring.
    Nate: I am sure there are reservoirs of boring you have yet to plumb.
    Next scene:
    Hardison: Slide one hundred and sixty two.
  • "The First David Job" when Hardison is trying to get on the plane. After screwing with the pilot, and making him think there's new regulations:
    Hardison: Just taxi me around the building.
    Pilot: Taxi? I thought- I thought you needed to get up in the air.
    Hardison: (writing on a paper) Uncomfortable with black authority.
    Pilot: Sir, please don't write that!
    Hardison: I will write a letter to your mama, if I feel like it.
    • When Parker is getting changed in the van with Hardison and the fake David statue, Hardison quickly looks away... then turns the statue away as well.
  • Halfway through "The Second David Job," just after Maggie joins up, the team has worked out a plan, but the recently crowned Sixth Ranger has some doubts.
    Maggie: Nate . . . you can't just make somebody do what you want them to do.
    (The rest of them look at her for a minute, then start laughing.)
    Hardison: That's . . . that's what we do.
    Parker: *pats on head* You're adorable.
    • There's also Eliot and Maggie's conversation in the coffee shop. Especially the team's reaction to Maggie mocking her and Nate's sex life, which actually doubles as a CMoA since Maggie noticed Eliot was wearing a button cam she gave Nate and was trying to provoke a response that would prove it.
    Eliot: He (Nate) must have some good qualities.
    Maggie: No, not even in bed.
    ('Oh, damn' look on all the team's faces)
    Parker: Ouuuh.....
    • When Sterling and his second-in-command are talking about scanning the faces of everyone who enters the museum, they begin talking about Eliot, his criminal record, and the huge bounty on his head, with Sterling saying that capturing Eliot will be the "icing on the cake." Meanwhile, Eliot walks past them in the background and even stops to give them a "Seriously?" glance. They then proceed to walk right past Parker and Sophie who are standing right out in the open. They miss Hardison because he's already inside the building's ductwork, rewiring things. Finally they spot Nate.... because he's literally walking through the front door.

    Season 2 
  • In "The Beantown Bailout Job," the team describing what they've done in the six months since they split up at the end of the first season. First, Parker says she stole the Hope Diamond and then put it back because she was bored. Then there's this:
    Hardison: I spent three days hacking the White House email. No buzz.
    Sophie: See?
    Hardison: But we are doing some pretty hinky stuff in Pakistan. Hinky.
    Sophie: Look, I'm miserable, they're miserable. (points to Eliot) Ok, what, what've you been doing in the last six months?
    Eliot: ...I was in Pakistan.
    • Fridge Brilliance: Recon on Osama?
      • 'The Queen's Gambit Job' (4x10) has Sterling mentioning that according to Eliot's file, he "crawled three miles through a sewer to kill the head of Al-Qaeda in Yemen". So him being hired to go after senior Al-Qaeda in Pakistan isn't even remotely a stretch.
      • Would explain the Fatwa...
    • Parker, at one point, pulls on an eighties jacket and proceeds to dance like a robot for the next few minutes or so.
    • After chasing the hitman out of Nate's condo, Sophie, thinking the hitman came back, brains Nate with a pan. When he wakes up, Parker's sitting over him, dressed as a nun and eating cereal.
      • What's funnier about this is that the baking sheet in question still has residue on it that shows Nate had baked cookies on it.
    • How bad is Sophie's acting in the Sound Of Music play? This review :
      "Never before has a production of 'The Sound Of Music' made me root for the Nazis."
    • There's also the entire scene after Nate wakes up in his apartment, and Eliot and Hardison's conversation about the detonators. Eliot's been putting small explosives on a building to scare a mark (later on in the episode) and asks Hardison how sensitive the detonator is. Hardison says that they're very sensitive and could go off due to crossed frequencies from a car alarm, while Eliot mentions that he's got several of the explosives still stowed in his pockets. On cue, a car alarm goes off and Eliot's reaction is absolutely priceless, including what is probably the best "Damnit Hardison!" of the entire series so far.
    Parker: What's the possibility that Eliot's crotch will actually explode?
    • Another:
    Nate: What, you thought she was dressed like a nun for no reason?
    Elliot: It's Parker.
    Nate: (Beat) Fair enough.
    • The beginning of Nate's plan.
    Nate: Now, if you'll excuse me, I am going to go call a professional killer who tried to murder me and arrange to meet him in an isolated location.
    • Hardison calls Eliot to tell him about the mob involvement while Eliot is snooping through boxes owned by the mob and three members of the same mob are approaching him.
      Eliot: *on the phone* What mob?
      Mobster: Hey! That's private property!
      Eliot: *disinterested* Oh. That mob. *proceeds to beat the crap out of the three mobsters, then apologises to one of them*
      • The one he apologised to and why deserves mention. It was the same guy brained with the baking tray earlier. Apparently it broke his nose and, during the fight, Eliot hit him in said broken nose. Twice.
    • Towards the very end, Parker brings in the portrait Hardison painted of "the founder of Leverage Consulting and Associates", which Nate protests, claiming he never wants to see it again.
      Parker: *in her best crotchety old man Nate impression, holding up the painting* "Argh, I'm Old Nate and I live here, too!"
      • The whole scene is hilarious. Nate comes home to discover Hardison setting up a wall of monitors in his living room. While in the middle of protesting, Parker comes in with the painting. Then he learns that Hardison bought the apartment building and is now Nate's landlord. Then we see and hear a chainsaw coming from the wall, and the wall falls down, revealing a grinning Elliot. Poor Nate...
  • In "The Tap-Out Job", Sophie expresses her doubts about UFC-style fighting, so Eliot teaches Parker how to put a choke hold using Hardison as the unfortunate target. Parker doesn't let up the hold even while Eliot and Sophie continue to debate, while Hardison's cries of distress and pain get weaker and weaker...
    • Parker goes out to buy some framing equipment, and at the end State Troopers open The Mark's car trunk to find dozens and dozens of a saxophone.
  • From "The Order 23 Job":
  • "The Fairy Godparents Job," when Sophie shushes an epic fight between Eliot and a hired assassin so they won't ruin her pupil's big moment in the school musical.
    • Hardison launches into a big Techno Babble explanation to Eliot about how his latest gadget works. When he gets annoyed at Eliot not paying attention...
    Hardison: Are you even listening?
    Eliot: Yeah.
    Hardison: What did I just say?
    Eliot: You were explaining how you were still a virgin?
  • "Three Days of the Hunter Job": The frequent Lampshading of the show's frequent tropes aside, we also have Nate's self-realisation.
    Sophie: She has to have corroboration from her own sources. She has to craft her own narrative. Monica Hunter has to be the author of her own personal nightmare. I sound this creepy when I—?
    Eliot: Hell. Yes.
    • And then this line from Hardison after he and Monica gets caught in an army base:
      Hardison: Damn the con. I'm a black man caught on an Army base with a video camera. I am going to jail for-e-ver.
    • Nate name-drops "Project Destiny" to Monica as the super-secret government project. When she goes to a Congressman to get information on it, he freaks out because "Destiny" is... a stripper he's in the middle of a sex scandal with. And his completely horrified reaction sells it.
  • Hardison and Parker and Chronos the Magician, along with Parker explaining how she got over her fear of the darknote , in "The Top Hat Job."
    "That's NOT the same thing. What's wrong with you?"
    • Parker dropping down the elevator shaft, using Hardison as an anchor.
    • Everybody but Nate vastly underestimating the food company's security and almost getting their asses kicked.
      • Of special note is the hobo on the park bench next to Parker suddenly revealing he's an undercover security guard, and their conversation shortly thereafter.
    Fake Hobo: Remember when I said you had pretty hair? I was lying.
    Parker: Well, I was lying when I said you didn't!
    Fake Hobo: What?
    Parker: (frowns) Wait...
    • The team later getting really into the office politics of the emails Hardison managed to hack.
    • Parker continually poking Elliot's injured arm, saying "Does that hurt?", and Elliot's teeth-clenched Death Glares. And then Nate pokes it.
  • The first time Hardison and 'Chaos' come face to face in "The Two Live Crew Job", and the dueling Parkers. Also the Imagine Spots when Eliot and his opposite number first meet up.
    Hardison: Hey, you're bumping into my baby monitor's frequency so what I need you to do is turn yours off, okay. Thanks!
    Chaos: Your baby is incredibly intelligent. He just attempted to launch a multiple variant computer worm at my baby monitor's firewall.
  • From "The Iceman Job", when the mark pulls a gun on Nate, posing as an insurance investigator.
    Nate: Mr. Kerrity, I am an insurance investigator. This is not the first time I have had a firearm pointed at me.
    Eliot: I had court-side seats, tell Hardison if he makes it out alive I'm going to snap him in half!
    Nate: Eliot says "Hi."
    • Before that when Hardison walks into his "workshop"
    Hardison: The Iceman cometh.
    Hardison: It's not that. You said that if thing went wrong, you weren't gonna help me. But you did. Come on man, let's hug it out.
    Elliot: No, no. I will break your frickin' arm-
    • The flashback to Parker's attempts to approach people in the grifter role. Like that time she broke a guy's finger and ran off with his briefcase... or that time she stabbed a guy with a fork and jumped out a window....
    • Parker's increasing agitation as Hardison claims credit for her diamond heists to sell his cover.
    • Parker and Eliot's completely over-the-top fake OSHA chemical team cover.
    Parker: WE'RE WITH OSHA.
    (a few seconds later)
  • The Lost Heir Job. Hardison's condescending speech (helped by Parker and Eliot) calling him out on going to see Sophie. They even play "Where's Waldo" calling Nate "Waldo Ford."
  • At the end of one of Tara's first episodes:
    Tara: Sophie was right. You're the best I've ever seen.
    Nate: I know. (walks away)
    Tara: But no one in the world is as good as you think you are!
  • From "The Runway Job", when the team is discussing whether to trust Tara.
    Eliot: She is hot.
    Hardison: Very hot.
    Parker: Hot. (Beat) Warm. Cold? Why are we staring?
    • Tara on Nate: "All right, fine. If he pulls this man-of-mystery crap again, I'm gonna kick his ass. And the whole I'm-sexy-because-I'm-broken thing only goes so far." Sophie's response: "I know, right? Wait, what?"
    • And, then there's Fashion Designer Elliot.
      • In the same vein, Nate's turn as an obvious mashup of Karl Lagerfeld and Jean-Paul Gaultier.
  • In "The Bottle Job":
    Doyle: This is Liam. This is Liam's brother.
    • Throughout the episode, everyone refers to the goon simply as 'Liam's brother', and nobody bothers asking him what his name is.
  • Sterling's entrance into McRory's in "The Zanzibar Marketplace Job."
    Nate: Eliot, I'm going to ask you not to do anything violent.
    Eliot: (with his back to Sterling) What are you talking about? I only use violence as an appropriate response.
    Sterling: Hello, Nate.
    (Eliot immediately gives the appropriate response : punching Sterling in the face)
    • This sequence also features Hardison handing a large bribe to the bartender to ignore whatever happens seemingly on pure instinct, and Parker leering at the beatdown with what appeared to be sadistic glee (she's essentially licking her chops.)
    • Nate and Sterling are discussing the crime, and Parker suddenly starts to explain how they did the crime in less than six minutes. Due to suddenly appearing out of nowhere, as per Parker's standard, the bemused Sterling asks Nate how long she'd been there. Nate chooses not to answer, since it's Parker. You can see Sterling looking around at the ceiling above her head while she's explaining, as if looking for a hatch to explain how Parker just appeared, then just staring at her.
    • Tara having Eliot break the fence who's supposed to buy the egg solely by having him do "that thing with the eyes that scares people."
  • In "The Three Strikes Job," the fake Japanese commercial that Hardison makes for Elliot's cover. Made even funnier by the fact that Elliot likes it enough to ask Hardison to play it again.
    • Elliot getting way into baseball after first expressing his dislike of the game.
      Tara: And the bad news?
      Nate: I think we lost Elliot until after the play-offs.
  • Nate stalling Sterling's elevator in "The Maltese Falcon Job."
    • Speaking of elevators, Nate and Maggie's "it's over" almost-kiss in the "Zanzibar Marketplace Job", before Parker drops in.
      • That was not an almost kiss, that was a full on makeout. With Maggie's boyfriend right next to them, also chained to the elevator rail.
    • Parker as usual displaying a total lack of tact as she consoles Tara about crawling through air ducts, finishing with a smile like a kid at Christmas: "Don't worry, no one's ever died going in through an air duct. In the worst case you slip and fall. Break your legs. Lay there for days... Scratching on the metal. It's like a long, metal coffin. With wind....Let's go!"

    Season 3 
  • In "The Jailhouse Job":
    Sophie: What kind of world would it be where everyone who committed some silly little crime went to prison? Complete madness!
  • From "The Reunion Job," Hardison and Eliot are pretending to be health inspectors to get into a Iranian secret police safehouse disguised as a restaurant. With each violation ("cockroach in the shisleek," "shwarma is only lukewarm"), they say with righteous indignation and in the exact same tone of voice each time "That's going to cost ya" and "I've gotta dock ya!" Later in the episode, one of the secret policemen breaks into a locked room and is confused to find 'health inspector' Eliot there. To which Eliot shrugs and says "I've gotta dock ya again!" And then beats him up.
    • Also in "The Reunion Job," after Parker expresses sympathy for a nerdy mark who was bullied in high school:
    Eliot: Don't feel bad for this guy! Getting bullied in high school is still no excuse for propping up dictators. Take Hardison, he got bullied his whole high school career, he's not a criminal.
    Parker: Uh, yeah he is.
    Eliot: A BAD criminal.
    Hardison: Uh, what makes you think I got bullied in high school?
    Eliot: A, you've got a Green Hornet doll!
    Hardison: First of all, it's a limited edition action figure. Second, it is Green Lantern! Educate yourself!
    • The ending. Nate and Sophie have been named king and queen of the reunion and are slow-dancing on the gym floor under a spotlight. Hardison and Parker are having a dance of their own in the rafters of the gym, with Parker floating in the air by her harness. Meanwhile, Eliot (who has spent the climax of the episode fighting Iranian secret policemen in a separate location and hasn't been seen in a while) grows tired of listening to the two couples coo over the comms:
    Eliot: Everyone having a good time at the dance? Anyone wonder if Eliot made it out? Hello? Anyone wonder if Eliot's alive? HELLO?
    • Yet another from "The Reunion Job": Eliot complaining that Sophie has brainwashed him... again.
  • "The Inside Job" where Hardison and Eliot gone to the wrong address and to see a bearded guy Cosplaying in a Sailor Moon outfit.
    • And then when Archie says he's Parker's father. You can actually pinpoint the moment where Elliot's brain broke in half.
  • The beginning of "The Double Blind Job." The soon-to-be-client is being chased by two henchmen and runs straight into Hardison. They claim to be FBI agents, leading to this exchange.
    Hardison: Aww...See, you made two mistakes, bro. First, you flash that fake-ass FBI badges at me.and second...You spilled his coffee. *points at Eliot*
    • The scene then cuts to Eliot with coffee all over his shirt. Pissed off, he tosses the empty cup away and charges off screen, leaving the client to cower in Hardison's arms while the sounds of violence are heard in the background.
    • Then near the the end of the episode Eliot, in character as an assistant to an executive, runs into the same two henchmen. He sarcastically asks them if he can get them some coffee. And then beats them up again.
    • When Parker is role-playing a pharmaceutical company rep making a pitch to a doctor:
    Parker: Dr Neeson, I'm Laurie. I've got great drugs. Do you want some?
  • In "The Studio Job," Hardison and Parker are in a sound studio, distracted, while in the background, Eliot is in a soundproof room we can see through a plexiglass window, fighting off various murderous thugs and furiously trying to get the attention of his oblivious teammates.
    • In the same episode, Parker dressed as an over-the-top Björk parody who speaks only in trilling noises. Here. Later she jumps onstage as a distraction, including imitating a duck, humming, and pretending to faint.
    • Eliot ambushing a thug he sees (the shadow of) lurking outside his door. He yanks the door open, pulls the lurker inside roughly, and growls "Who do you work for?!?" It turns out to be a harmless girl in search of an autograph.
    • Speaking of which, due to his amazing singing voice as Kenneth Crane, he can't shake off his fans.
    • Mitchell Kirkwood's horrifically cliched country music video, as well as Sophie's reaction to it.
    Sophie: I say we take him down for that alone.
  • In "The Gone-Fishin' Job":
    • The fishing scene at the end. Eliot is genuinely saddened that an electronic fishing game does not give the same experience as outdoor fishing.
    • This:
    Parker: Who knew a sedan could hit 140?
    Sophie: Parker, you are never to get behind the wheel of a car again, okay? Never.
    • Also from "The Gone-Fishin' Job":
  • "The Boost Job"
    Hardison: Wait, wait, hold up- you told her?
    Elliot: I should've known! You're a menace Parker!
    Parker:She deserved a chance, okay!
    Hardison: Oooooh, Nate's gonna kill youuuuu.
    Elliot: I'm gonna kill you!
    Parker: Oh, stop whining!
    Elliot: I got hit by a car!!
    Parker: *mimicking* I got hit by a car. Get over it!
    Elliot: I'm gonna kill her, man, I'm gonna kill her!
    Hardison: Hey, hey! Nobody is gonna kill anyone! *to Parker* Seriously though, Nate's gonna kill you.
    Shorty: Who are you people?!
    Parker: (yelling) We're the good guys!
    • Parker revealing that she worked as a getaway driver before she started stealing cars. To put this in perspective, she started stealing cars when she was twelve.
      • WITH flashback.
    • When a secondary character asks why the cops would respond to a car alarm so quickly, the scene cuts to the crew stealing cars from the members of the local police union.
    • The mark gets told that a mystery driver beat his record by fifteen seconds and says, "That's impossible!" Hardison just says, "It is? Whoops!" and promptly changes the time on his computer.
  • Eliot gets into a fight with a mook in "The Three Card Monte Job" and Parker tries to help him by tossing him a crowbar. Unfortunately, she only succeeds in hitting him in the back of the head with the crowbar.
    Eliot: You don't throw crowbars at people!
    • It's funnier. That crowbar was made of hard rubber. And it was adlibbed.
    • From the same episode, Nate's utterly deadpan response to the Russian mook who says he doesn't like him. "Gee, does that mean I can't come to your birthday party and ride the pony?"
    • And then there's this gem...
    Sophie: They're gonna kill Hardison!
    Hardison: They gonna kill who?!
  • In "The Underground Job," Sophie pumps Parker, who's been serving as Corrupt Politician Debra Pierce's aide, for any information they could use against her, only to find out that Parker has been paying attention to exactly the wrong quirks of the mark (she puts her black and blue pens in the same container! The fiend!). This, coupled with Parker's casual mention of the one useful piece of info - Pierce and Blackwell are having an affair - really makes a viewer wonder what Parker judges to be suspicious behavior...
    • Hardison's reaction to the audio file detailing the aforementioned spoiler.
    Hardison: No! No, no! Ew! Old people!
  • From "The Rashomon Job", Eliot, Hardison, and Parker all depict Sophie with a completely different accent.
    • "Completely different accent" doesn't come anywhere close to doing this justice.
      • Eliot remembers her as having a hilariously over-the-top Cockney accent (not to happy about it, Sophie edits her story to make Eliot into the uttermost cliche of a Southern hillbilly as revenge).
      • Hardison gives her a Scottish one (not for nothing; Gina Bellman seems to have fun playing Accent Jump, listen to her trill her Rs when she says "You're allergic to shrimp.")
      Sophie: Americans! Every accent sounds the same to you! I just...*gave up* Go on...I sound like one of the dwarves from Lord of the Rings!
      • Mentioning LOTR is especially funny since a quick game of Six Degrees Of Separation can link her to Bilbo Baggins.
      • And doubly so because in the gag reel, she accidentally says "Lord of the Flies".
      • Parker's Sophie speaks in unintelligible gibberish. Honestly, the implication that Parker can't understand Sophie at all, ever, is what kills you on this one. In case you're wondering what Sophie says in Parker's version:
      Sophie: Ah wai'er. I'd very wondering if you could yea un'd my Dingaling
      • Her response after hearing all of their 'versions' of her accent:
      Sophie: I hate you all.
      • It's even funnier during the outtakes. Gina Bellman has a very hard time saying the gibberish words in the gag reel, thus making both her and Beth Riesgraf can't help but laugh too hard on it.
      • Perhaps the best part is that each of them, when they had no idea that everyone else was there, perceived their future teammates as magnificent; Hardison's "Minister Robert Bioko" (played by Juan Canopii) was powerfully built and intimidating. Eliot's "Dr. Wes Abernathy" (played by Riley Smith) was soft-spoken and charming. And the socially-awkward Parker blended in so well that none of them save Nate even looked at her twice.
    • Eliot saying "TWO DEAD GUYS WHO CARES" when Hardison starts explaining the dagger's history.
    • The slasher-killer version of Eliot in Hardison's story.
      Eliot: I'm gonna go sharpen this knife. Maybe walk around the halls. In the dark. (looks at Hardison) Don't leave.
    • Speaking of the knife, similar to the accent getting more and more outrageous (except it stops after Nate), the knife for the emergency tracheotomy gets bigger and bigger with each retelling. Since Nate's (complete) version features the biggest knife, evidently this is the one detail that got more correct as time went on.
      • Word of God is that Nate's is mostly correct, but not entirely. The knife bit would probably be in that 80%, though.
    • Sophie finds out that Elliot was the guy who bumped into her on the night, and the one who stole the dagger from her mail. She's absolutely shocked.
    • Hardison arrives and explains what he's doing on his phone.
      Hardison: I'm telling the computer back at my nana's hou— My house. My house. My house.
      Nate: Yeah. Of course. Yeah.
    • Parker finding out that stealing mail is a crime.
    • Hell, most of Parker's story is a CMOF. When it's revealed that Parker was ALSO in the museum, everyone looks at her incredulously, to which she replies "What? I'm a thief!"
      • Parker's look of gleeful fascination as Eliot tries to cut open Hardison's throat to stop his "allergic reaction".
      • Parker's victory dance after getting the dagger.
    • John Billingsley as Coswell. Namely in Nate's story when everyone's gets his attitude wrong in their story leads to this reaction.
      Parker: Poor Coswell...
      • Not only that; he NEVER realizes that at least two of his guards were replaced. Hardison was doing a good job of faking being a security guard, only for the vault door to swing open just as the Coswell confronts him, and Coswell STILL doesn't get it.
    • The Anvilicious parody of BP CEO Tony Hayward at the end. Crosses the Line Twice indeed.
  • "The King George Job" gave us Parker as an auctioneer, auctioning off things she previously stole.
    • A quick mention of how Parker got the job of auctioneer; Parker pops up behind the current auctioneer in his office:
    Parker: Does this smell like chloroform to you?
    • Also, Hardison's slow evolution into "master forger".
    Hardison: (somewhat unsteadily) I hacked history, people!
  • "The Morning After Job":
    • Hardison creates fake police identities for himself and Eliot, so well that they get their own police car. Ok, fair enough. Then they're asked to escort a criminal from the courthouse back to prison because it's right next to "their" precinct, diverting them from the con. Eliot and Hardison bicker Like an Old Married Couple about this as the criminal complains in the backseat. Then they hear about a domestic dispute with a weapon over the radio, and Eliot forces Hardison to drive to it, because there "might be kids" in danger and they're the closest squad car.
  • The "Ho Ho Ho Job" was basically a Crowning Episode of Funny, what with Parker's over the top enthusiasm for Christmas, Eliot being a grumpy, cantankerous Santa, and the hilarious "true meaning of Christmas" final exchange between Chaos and Hardison. The following deserves special mention:
    Parker: Okay, bad enough it's Christmas and there's no snow on the ground, but this is Santa we're talking about, okay? We can't turn away Santa!
    Nate: You know that's not really Santa, right?
    Parker: Obviously. Santa lives at the North Pole. (makes "duh" face)
    • Parker decorating the Christmas tree with stolen jewelry deserves a special mention.
    • From later on in the episode, when the mall owner has reformed and saved Christmas:
    Santa: You are high on the holiday spirit!
    Duley: Yes I am! And pills mixed with morphine! I can't believe you let me drive here!
  • From "The Big Bang Job"
    Nate: Let's go steal the Department of Defense.
    Parker: Isn't that treason?
    Nate: We'll give it back.
    • And then the brilliant joke about Sophie learning how to drive as an Istanbul taxi driver. For anyone not in the know, Istanbul license plates are the single most terrifying thing Turkish drivers can think of.
  • The Bedmate Reveal in "The San Lorenzo Job".
    • Additionally, this exchange:
    Hardison: We got this. We- (Moreau walks in flanked by bodyguards) Ah hell, it's Moreau.
    Nate: Yeah, I caught that.
    • Eliot gets interviewed by a news crew and implies that the president of San Lorenzo hosts dog fights, which even young puppies fight in, at his house. Eliot then pulls out the cutest puppy and kisses it and rocks it in his arms. Damien Moreau, watching the interview, can't resist smiling a little, either because Eliot, his former Dragon, looks Out of Character with a puppy, or because he thinks puppies are cute, or both. Damien Moreau, people.
      Vittore: ...I think I hate you.
      Nate: Y'know, I'm OK with that.
    • Hardison's e-mail slandering of Ribera goes so far as to say he's against education and for child labor.
    Nate: Don't you think that's a little excessive? (Ribera walks in, passes by a mother and child. The child screams and points at him as he tries to get away, leaving Ribera baffled) I take it back.

    Season 4 
  • As the team reunites after a two-week break in "The Long Way Down Job," they find that Nate has set up a job that takes place on a mountain. We get a couple classics:
    Eliot: (weirded out) Let go.
    Hardison: I'm just—so damn cold—
    Eliot: I don't care, man.
    Hardison: Just please set me on fire, do something. I'm all shivering, and I think one of my nipples fell off--
    Eliot: You don't tell me stuff like that!

    Nate: Parker, have you ever climbed a mountain?
    Parker: I climb skyscrapers. I can WALK up a mountain.
    Eliot: It's not the same! Are there avalanches on a skyscraper?
    Parker: No. (Beat) That would be SO cool though.
    • Immediately followed by:
    Sophie: Nate, how dangerous is this gig you took without checking with us?
    Nate: (stammers)
    Hardison: (Gilligan Cut to a flashback in the office) Ridiculously dangerous! It's like a danger cupcake with murder icing!
    • Nate walking into the main tent after having rescued the client:
    Sophie: (runs up to him and kisses him, then whispers) I'm running a Moscow circus, you're the Ivan.
    Nate: Okay, I'm kind of dying of altitude sickness though...
    • This exchange from the end:
    Parker: You realize this isn't going to be normal.
    Hardison: My nana says that normal is whatever works for you. This, we all work.
    Parker: I should meet your nana.
    Hardison: Yeah... wait, what?
    • Also in "The Long Way Down Job," when the client, an experienced climber, wants to help.
    Nate: No, you're emotionally involved. Leads to bad decisions.
    Hardison: Did you just say that? With a straight face?
  • Parker implies in "The Ten Li'l Grifters Job" that her first job was robbing Imelda Marcosnote . Especially funny for Filipino viewers.
    • Hardison revealing in the same episode that he's hacked his way into the Oscars since he was 15 - and his flashback showing that he was sitting next to Halle Berry when she won.
      • His line where he tells her that he told her it was her night becomes even funnier when you remember that he could have hacked the vote just as easily. He got himself invited, seated himself next to Halle Berry, then made sure she won so she'd be in a good mood. Smooth, Hardison. Real smooth.
    • Eliot has to do the grifting for Nate to investigate the suspects to the murder mystery. His "grifting" involves approaching every suspect, knocking them out as inconspicuously as possible, and searching their clothes for clues.
    • "Yes, Parker, I'd tell you if I murdered the mark."
  • From "The 15 Minutes Job":
    Parker: I think I'm getting better at this... I didn't even stab him!
    Hardison: (weirded out) Yeah. We are so proud of you! No stabbing Wednesdays, new tradition!
    • Parker rolling back and forth on the rolling chair in the evidence room.
    • From the same episode:
    Nate: How would I destroy me?
    Parker: Yeah, and you can't say 'booze'.
    • The team (rather half-heartedly) tries to be 'victims' to force the mark into heroism.
      • Parker gets pursesnatched by Eliot. The mark doesn't notice, but a random middle-aged lady does and beats Eliot up with her umbrella. Eliot's face is priceless. Then Parker gives her a thumbs-up.
      • Sophie loses a baby carriage. The mark doesn't notice, so she lets the baby carriage run off the street and into traffic, where it is presumably hit by a car, when she's distracted by a SALE sign at a nearby store.
      • We don't even get to hear what Hardison did, though it seems to involve choking on a hotdog and getting a Heimlich maneuver by a rather large man.
  • From "The Van Gogh Job," Eliot playing with Hardison's face, and Nate telling him the computer interface isn't a toy.
    • Eliot pretending to be a gas inspector to access a house... only to be told that he'll have to talk to the mold inspector too. Turns out the "mold inspector" is another thug hunting for the Van Gogh as well, who Eliot's on a first name basis with, and they have a friendly chat while beating the crap out of each other.
    • "We've got an 84%LOL rating...."
  • The bra scene from "The Hot Potato Job".
    • Sophie punches Hardison in the face to sell the con.
    • And how could we forget the actual mole reveal?
    • Eliot's reaction when he realizes Sophie is doing his voice when pretending to be a security consultant.
    • And then later, the voice Eliot uses when he's pretending to be Sophie's assistant.
    • Nate telling Eliot to "look the part" when he poses as Sophie's assistant. Cut to some chap in a suit walking along, minding his own business, when Eliot flies at him from the bottom of the screen, tackles him into some bushes, and walks back out again wearing the man's suit. It's not anything unusual for Eliot, but the way it's filmed, seeming to come out of nowhere, is what makes it so funny.
  • "The Boiler Room Job"
    • Jungle Eliot. The most delicious Ham and Cheese.
    • Nobody ever remembering (actually funnier when some of them does it on purpose) the mark's nickname.
      • Marco?
      • It's probably Blowfish.
      • You gotta admit he IS good. Like how he managed to correctly point out that Nate was sleeping with Sophie. Hardison and Parker (listening to them on comlink) just snap their heads to Sophie with expressions screaming "What?" When Sophie tries to deny it, Parker points out that she said herself that the mark is a better reader than anyone she knows, and Hardison just looks at Sophie and says "Y'all nasty."
    • Parker after the chocolate festival, the first time, severe caffeine jitters.
      • Parker dealing with getting her pocket picked at the chocolate festival.
    • When interviewing a potential actor, Sophie is told that he was in a performance of Equus. Sophie asks him who he played... and it turns out that he played a horse. But just the front end.
  • Post-op Hardison in "The Cross My Heart Job." It Makes Sense in Context.
  • Sophie offering to wait to make her escape until Eliot has worked out his anger over being drugged by Sterling in "The Queen's Gambit Job" - mostly because working out his anger means beating the crap out of mooks.
    • The Callback to the pilot at the end of the episode. "Wait... don't I die in Plan M?" "Usually."
  • In "The Experimental Job", after Elliot knocks over a table, grabs Conrad by the neck, asks him where Hardison has been taken to, and he refuses to talk, this exchange takes place:
    Elliot: I have four minutes to prove your theory wrong.
    Conrad: What theory?
    Elliot: That torture doesn't work.
  • "The Office Job":
    Nate: No no no no, that, that right there, that's a lie. I love foreplay!
    • The blurred-out greeting card.
    • Nearly every moment Peter Stormare was on-screen.
    • How the boss is ... "embarrassing" and they are printing "cards".
    • All of Parker's ideas for alternative card concepts, and her attempts to evade pursuit from the cameras. And the director's increasing obsession with trying to film Parker.
    • Plus, y'know, it's an Affectionate Parody of The Office (US).
    • Every second of Sophie's, uh... "classes". Especially where Nate calls her "obviously brilliant".
    • Pretty much all of the awkwardness of the team having to deal with the fact that they're constantly being filmed, and that there's cameramen everywhere in the office building, even the women's bathroom.
    • At the end, the director destroys the entire film because.... it was so happy and uplifting.
  • The scene from "The Girls' Night Out Job" where Hardison gives Tara and Sophie a long explanation about how to defuse a bomb. With just over ten seconds on the clock, the two exchange glances... and throw it out the window.
  • "The Boys' Night Out Job"
    • Those Two Bad Guys, a pair of Irish mobsters, have a debate over whether or not a church basement counts as holy ground, and somehow the conversation turns to the Boy Scout oath.
      • Their boss's Cutting the Knot solution of dragging Hurly out of the church, so they don't need to worry about shooting somebody on holy ground.
    • When the mobster who objected to shooting someone in a church ends up pointing a gun at Lupe, and hears Hurly refer to her as Sister Lupe:
    Mobster: Sister Lupe? (lowers gun) I'm goin' to hell.
    • Nate is impersonating a priest:
    Irish guy: Why is there a nun's habit without a nun inside?
    Nate: Rapture!
    • Hardison's increasingly frustrated demands that Eliot let him shoot a man.
    • Everything the two Irish gangsters say. And everything Priest!Nate says.
    • Everyone debating and commenting on whether 'Sister Lupe' is a real nun or not.
    • Eliot flirting with the security guard, and sheepishly saying he has a "…thing for…women in…uniform…"
    • Hardison running away from the dogs.
    • The bromance between Captain Bonanno and Eliot's friend.
    • "If I told you I'd have to kill, really."
    • When Hardison is trying to pass himself off as a dirty cop to the cartel boss (shouting things like "Of course I'm racist, I'm a dirty cop!") Eliot is busy in the background, very, very quietly beating up all the cartel thugs in full view of the boss, while trying to keep Hardison from noticing.
  • "The Lonely Hearts Job." Nate tells Parker to start a fight with the grifter who is working on Hardison. He, of course, intends for her to start an argument. So of couse Parker walks over with a huge grin on her face and starts beating the shit out of the girl.
  • "The Gold Job" has Eliot's grudging acceptance of, and later full enthusiasm for, Hardison's Mr. Punchy animated representation of him.
  • "The Radio Job": After a sarcastic quip by Eliot about there being a time machine in a patent office they need to break into, Parker is fully convinced that it's real and wants to steal it. This later leads into a Doctor Who Shout-Out when she imagines Nate's dad using the time machine to go back to 1962note  while the show's theme tune plays in the background. This also leads to Hardison quoting the Eleventh Doctor's "Bowties Are Cool" Catch Phrase.
    • In order to keep the FBI and Homeland Security from storming the place, Eliot starts channeling John McClane.
    Elliot: (to the beat up thugs) Yippie-ki-yay, motherf-
    Jimmy Ford: Found it!
    • Relatedly, the fact that the actor playing the cop on the other end talking to Eliot played the role absolutely straight makes it even more hilarious.
    • Sophie, wearing a prenancy simulator being examined by a somewhat weirded out EMT. He describes the heartbeat as almost mechanical.
  • "The Last Dam Job"
    • The exchange when Hardison first hires Chaos.
    Chaos: I want my usual fee plus expenses, and Parker dresses up as Starbuck from Battlestar Galactica.
    Hardison: Hey, it's not happening.
    Chaos: I'll accept Sophie as Counselor Troi. We'll negotiate on the flight.
    Hardison: So wrong, on so many levels.
    • Hardison and Chaos in general:
    Hardison: Wow... this is what it's like for Eliot. You just want to punch somebody...all the time.
    • Hardison going full squee over the 'batcave'.
    Hardison: YOU GOT ME A BATCAVE?!
    Nate: No, I did not.
    Chaos: This is totally a bat cave.
    • At the end of the episode, Hardison wants to keep the batcave. Eventually, he manages to get Elliot to help him convince promising him his own batsignal.
    • The first time Archie meets Chaos (who not only called him 'super old' but flirted to 'yummy' Parker), he threatened Chaos with his one of his canes, one of which has a taser capable of several hundred volts, the other a six-inch stiletto spike. Chaos nervously asks which one the cane does and Archie remarks that he can't quite remember, being super old. He did this with the tip of his cane right underneath Chaos' chin. When he hears Chaos flirt with Parker again later on, he tases him into unconsciousness without warning.
      • "So it WAS the taser..."
    • Quinn's reaction to having to work with Chaos is pretty good too. Imagine Eliot and take the best buds part out of Vitriolic Best Buds.
    Quinn: Can I hit him?
    Eliot: Which one?
    Quinn: Either one.
    Eliot: (to Hardison) You see? It's not just me.
    • Eliot recruiting Quinn was pretty damn funny, especially when Quinn remarks that he is currently unhappy in his chosen work. While sitting in a chair, handcuffed, with multiple armed men pointing guns at him. In Kiev.
    • Sophie recruits Maggie for some grifting, with the side benefit of both of them messing with Nate's head.
      Sophie: Look at that, he looks like a...slapped mackerel.
      • It goes even further, after Nate tries telling Maggie nothing ever happened between him and Sophie while they were married.
      Maggie: Oh, Nate. If temptation counted as cheating no marriage would make it past the first year. Imagine what it was like for me, you bringing James around all those years.
      Nate: ...James? Sterling? (later) Seriously, Sterling?
      Maggie: Seriously.
    • Every time Hardison and Chaos interact, basically.
    Hardison: (cheerfully) I hate you with the white hot heat of a thousand suns.
    Chaos: I dream you die and I wake up laughing.
    Hardison: Sci-five?
    Hardison/Chaos: No.
    • Latimer tells Dubenich he has been drugged and deposited in the Cayman Islands. When Dubenich doesn't reply he starts to explain again.
    Latimer: The CAYMAN ISLANDS!?!
    Dubenich: I did not hear that.
    Latimer: I said, I'm in the Cayman Islands-
    Dubenich: No, I heard you. I just simply refuse to acknowledge that those words are coming out of your mouth.
    • Quinn and Chaos have to escape from Dubenich's goons after implementing part of the plan. Their only option is to jump off a dam. Chaos appears hesitant, so Quinn throws him off. Cue Chaos' incredibly high-pitched scream.

    Season 5 
  • In the first episode, Hardison is explaining why they can't go back to McRory's and pulls up cameras on the pub.
    Hardison: Oh, Nate's place. Yeah, about that. You see that? That's the street in front of Nate's apartment, that car right there is FBI, SUV is State Police, and that little pretzel cart is both delicious and Interpol.
    Sophie: Seriously? That's what you're upset about?
    Eliot: Aren't you?
    • The montage of what Hardison and Parker did on their vacation - jumping off various tall buildings around the world, Hadrison yelling every single time. Bonus points for implying that's literally all they did.
    • "I'm only gonna say this once, boys: give me the...teddy bear."
  • In "The Blue Line Job", Nate has a staring contest with a turtle. That's the context.
    • No, he wins a staring contest with a turtle. And Sophie thinks it's hot.
  • "The First Contact Job":
    • Eliot knows the Drake equation. Why? Because you never know when you might have to fight an alien.
    • Hardison has Eliot out in the field directed him to bounce a signal off a satellite. After getting the signal, cue Hardison decides to fool Eliot (lying to him that the signal's almost done) by giving him list of wacky commands that have nothing to do with the mission. The second Eliot figures out what's wrong he runs off screen, Hardison, who is tracking Eliot on his computer, notice his signal begins to move at an absurdly fast rate back towards the van, leading to an Oh, Crap reaction from Hardison. Seconds later you hear Eliot's signature grunt and the van being shaken from the outside.
      "Hey man! Lucille's a classic!"
      • They're not just any commands. Hardison is making Eliot do the Cha Cha Slide.
    • "Two good old boys. Behind the wheel. Chasing down bad guys in Lucille..." that scene alone is worth $1.99 on
    • "That is the last time that I lie about playing Peter Pan on Broadway."
    • While briefing on their new mark:
    Sophie: Braddock Aeronautics. It's top shelf.
    Eliot: That's military aircraft contractors. They used to stamp their logo on their choppers and we'd have to file them off before we — went fishin'.
    • Eliot's cover as.... "Willie Riker." Bonus points for the episode being directed by Johnathan Frakes.
    • Hardison and Parker showing up as Men In Black, playing every sinister stereotype possible.
  • "The French Connection Job":
    • Eliot is introducing himself to the culinary students only to stop momentarily when he notices Hardison wearing goggles and a big goofy smile.
      Hardison: I get to fire a laser.
      • This causes Eliot's lip to twitch in barely suppressed rage.
    • He's just as scary with the rest of his students.
    Annoying Interrupting Rich Girl: What's your name?
    Elliot: Chef.
  • "The Gimmie a K Street Job"
    • The team explaining to Parker that, for normal people, at least, a 20-foot fall is something extremely scary and harmful.
    • The team's recap of their severe underestimation of their grifting skills vs. politics. By the time the day's over, Nate's the only one who got anything done.
    • The moment Sophie manages to get an office in the Capitol Building, it's not long until she eventually ends up running the place like she's in charge. Her crowning achievement is getting an American military base named after her.
    • Nate manages to buy a Senator's vote by offering to buy him lunch.
    • Hardison going crazy over how archaic and inefficient the federal budget is, with literally millions of dollars sitting around unused partly due to laws that are over a century old.
      Okay, $5 million earmarked for... Vocational training for millers, blacksmiths, and haberdashers... by an 1884 statute.
      • And then when he uses those same archaic laws to keep the mark from accessing her funds. Doubles as a Moment Of Awesome.
      ...there’s a 1938 labor law requiring textile companies to keep cash on hand to pay overtime.
  • The hilarious 70's hair (both facial and... on top of his head) Reggie!Hardison sports. As well as his voice. The character of Reggie Wilson almost comes off as a Shout-Out to Samuel L. Jackson.
  • "The Real Fake Car Job": The Mob is after The Mark. Sophie and Eliot follow him around in a bright orange car, greet the FBI agent as clingy neighbors asking about their security systems, wave ominously to her from the same noticeable car, and let her follow them to a hardware store where they purchase tarp, shovels and axes.
    Sophie: Do you think we're being suspicious enough?
  • "The Broken Wing Job". Throughout the episode, we get to see parts of what the rest of the team is up to in Japan. All of them.
    • Second up, Parker attempts to stave off boredom. Eventually, she starts talking to a stuffed bear sitting next to her.
    Parker: You want to choose the channel? Fine. But no bears and no reality shows. Except Beauty And The Geek. I like that show.
  • In "The Rundown Job," when a villain from Eliot's past offers him a new job, he refuses, then starts to intimidate the guy. The guy asks Eliot why he got out, meanwhile trying frantically to push a panic button hidden under his desk... which yields no response. Eliot replies, "I started running with some different guys. Like a hacker..." (bad guy pushes the button again and again, nothing happens, then Hardison walks in, grinning at him. Bad guy grabs a gun, tries to shoot Eliot. It's not loaded.) "...and a thief." (Parker shows up out of nowhere behind him and holds up his clip.)
    • There's something funny about the fact that Eliot is friends with Jayne Cobb
  • "The Frame-Up job"
    • Sophie's immediate Spit Take at hearing Nate abruptly speak up at the party she's at. Even better is that there was no warning before, so she's probably mirroring the viewer.
    • To Nate's justifiable suspicion that Sophie has ulterior motives, Sophie insists she just wants to see the artwork there.
    Nate: That's all?
    Sophie: That's all!
    Lawyer Speaking To Party: Of course, that's not all...
    • Sterling explaining how he has the authority to take command of the investigation. Or trying to explain, anyway.
    Sterling: Art theft, As You Know, is an eight-billion-dollar a year business, used to fund racketeering and terrorism. My new department at Interpol, which I created-
    Sophie: Oh, congratulations!
    Nate: We should have sent a card.
    Sophie: We should have!
    • "Ex-art thief. Ex-art thief! Why does nobody take that seriously?"
    • "If you're going to use your sexy voice, you can take these." hands Nate handcuffs, and he smiles
    • Nate playing "Hot and Cold" with Sterling.
      • And earlier, where he flusters Sterling into searching for more evidence by insinuating he's missed something. With body language alone.
    • "I didn't think that would work!"
    Sterling: Arrest them both.
    Sophie: On what charge?
    Sterling: Theft.
    Nate: We brought back the painting.
    Sterling: Obstructing an investigation.
    Sophie: We're helping you with your investigation.
    Sterling: Being annoying and crazy.
    • Sterling's forced "someone shoot me" smile when Sophie sits on his lap, ruffles his hair, calls him Mike, and says she hopes they will be just as happy as the ex-wife was with the victim. Or most of Sophie and Sterling going around questioning people.
  • "The Low Low Price Job": Eliot mutters that the Value More chant reminds him of North Korea, then realizes Hardison is dancing to it.
  • In "The White Rabbit Job", while Eliot is holding off some security guards (and clearly toying with them), the gate guard (a rather rickety elderly gentleman) stands there the whole time with a handgun pointed at him. Eliot is more annoyed by the presence of the gun than anything else.
    Eliot: (finally takes the gun away) Give me that!
  • "The Corkscrew Job":
    Hardison: (in the same whisper voice) I mean you. You're my preciouss...
    • Parker getting a glimpse of the vineyard overseer, who they know lets his people literally be worked to death.
    Parker: Huh. He has very punchable face.
    Eliot: Yeah, I noticed that.
  • "The Toy Job": Hardison shutting down an argument by yelling that there's nothing wrong with "getting emotionally butt-nekkid."
    • When asking to tone down the Christmas gifts this year, Hardison getting Parker a motorcycle last year is used as an example.
    Eliot: I can't believe you spent a hundred thousand dollars on a motorcycle.
    Hardison: (smugly) Don't hate the gift, hate the elf.
    Eliot: (confused) I do hate the elf.
    • Parker is meant to get their mark's toy, a frisbee, and gets a creepy two faced doll. One side is happy, the other side is a scarred angry face. It's name? Baby Joyrage.
    • Eccentric!Nate, considering that's not one of his usual personas. While he's explaining to The Mark that he's created the doll for his (fake) son who's now in prison, you can't help but laugh at Nate playing a Cloudcuckoolander.
    Sophie: Mr. Grypal has often said that he wished that there had been a toy like Baby Feels-A-Lot during Nestor's developmental years.
    Nate: I wish there had been a toy like Baby Feels-A-Lot during Nestor's developmental years. (sighes) Ah. Different times.
    The Mark: (Aside Glance to Sophie)
    • At the end of the episode, Parker proceeds to explain she's set up thousands of Baby Ragejoy in a warehouse, one half happy, one half angry. It's like two opposing armies.
    Hardison: You don't want to be in that warehouse alone.
  • From "The Long Goodbye Job":
    Nate: I know these past few years, I've been—
    Hardison: Drunk.
    Parker: Lying.
    Eliot: You've been an ornery bastard!
    • And that's why you don't want the peanut gallery at your proposal.