This is the constantly increasing and changing list of characters from Einsteinian Roulette. More characters being thrown into the Paracelsus' Sword and the sheer lack of interaction by some people may mean innacuracies in the character count.This list is based mostly on the one in the main thread's character listing post.
Team Killer: The infamous title persists due to an accident during the first mission.
Faith Valentine (IronyOwl)
Red-haired cowardly cat burglar and medic.
Dirty Coward: Spends most of her on-mission time running away, hiding and generally not helping anyone.
Earn Your Title: Faith is known as 'Worst Medic' because she generally either ignores or exacerbates her teammates' injuries.
Feyri Nirel (Tiruin)
Female mercenary supposedly harboring feelings of affection towards Jim.
Arson, Murder, and Jaywalking: The sole reason she was sent to the HMRC. Strict law enforcement. Subverted somewhat later in the story when it is revealed that the reason stated was only a fabricated lie - it wasn't the primary cause on why she was sent to the HMRC, but an intentional fabrication made to cover up her mistakes. Arson and Murder fall under the primary causes but are not listed as her crime.
Earn Your Title: Feyri is known as 'The Powersliding Mercenary', due to her actions in the first noted mission against an alien sentinel. It was later tested that the Sentinel in question was a lot more powerful than realized.
Thou Shalt Not Kill: She was a mercenary for most of her pre-HMRC story, but even then she never took a life in combat.
Averted somewhat later in a talk with Jim; averted in a way that, while it is true that she never took a life 'intentionally', her reason of being in the HMRC was a fabricated lie. A life was taken from collateral damage due to a failed sabotage mission on her home colony which deeply affected her: beliefs and principles alike. Doubly averted in the fact that she has still not yet taken an organic life.
James Kelly/Subject 19-3 "Jim" (SeriousConcentrate)
Vat-grown human created as a military experiment. His number refers to his personal number (Clone 19) of his control group (the third generation of clones).
Artificial Human: He was created in a lab which was trying to develop genetically-engineered soldiers.
Butt Monkey: If Jim is on a mission, generally the first time something bad happens - such as death or mind rape - he's the victim.
Famous Ancestor: Jim is cloned from Jordan Kelly, a man who could make plants grow, shape the earth, communicate with animals, and heal wounds with the power of his mind... according to the propaganda Spectrum Corporation told Jim, anyway.
No Place for Me There: Jim's main source of angst. He feels that, as an artifically created being with no concept of real human society and no history of dealing with normal life (he's less than a year old, relatively speaking, and most of that time was spent being trained to be a soldier) that the only place for him is the HMRC, and that even if he succeeds in his current command he'll forever be an outsider.
Mr. Vice Guy: He is one of the few characters to ever drink and smoke, and is also one of those to show heroic tendencies.
Charro Hootzal (Yoink)
Plucky Comic Relief: After suffering moderate brain damage after an overdose on anaesthetic, his hobbies include designing impractical weapons based around fashionable headgear, filling VR simulations with owls and plowing fields of sand in alien anomalies with the faceplate of his helmet.
Prince Charming Wannabe: A product of his upbringing, he will often attempt to assist or defend a "helpless female", even when said female is vastly more competent than himself.
Spoiled Brat: Son of a planetary governor and spoiled since his birth.
Accidental Pervert: Due to her constantly failing dexterity rolls, she fell on top of the resident's pervert while trying to get him away from May. She only succeeded in accidentally getting his pants off and groping him.
Lukas Stark (Prosperus)
Nice Guy: Seems to be this, although his quips also manage to get him in trouble.
Artificial Limbs: On the surface, she appeared to have three when she came into the service. Received new ones after surviving a several hundred meter fall but busting her old leg prosthetics and upgraded her arm prosthetic shortly after. All for naught, however, as after having half of her body vaporized by Jim (it was an accident, he was aiming to kill an extremely unstable team member with one shot and hit her as well), she had her brain dumped into a full prosthetic body.
Cyborg: Started her "career" in the HMRC already one, though nobody but her (and presumably Steve) knew that most of her vital internal organs had been replaced as well as three limbs, and non-vitals omitted. Now, she's a Man in the Machine.
Man in the Machine: She's in a full prosthetic body, with the only organic part left being her brain.
No One Gets Left Behind: Part of her backstory, a lab building she was working in turned into an inferno while she was in the hot labs, and she went back in several times to make sure all of her freelance team made it out alive. Without noticing as the flesh on her legs and an arm started to char as her fire-resistant suit burnt away.
Unwilling Roboticisation: She didn't chose to be put into a full-body prosthetic (very few do), but it was forced on her when Jim accidentally vaporized half of her entire body. However, she has been so far receptive to the new body, which is unsurprising as she was already mostly a robot beforehand.
Deal with the Devil: Has a propensity for acquiring and using items of such nature. For instance, all-seeing goggles that eventually take away his sight. Along with his eyes. Or a suit that lets him walk through void-space, that attracts the attention of Timmy.
Auron (Unholy Pariah)
Zephyris Haizea (MutzelRX)
Vichislav (Vich) Freidberg (Thearpox)
Anton "Blackeye" Chernozorov (Sean Mirrsen)
Gadgeteer Genius: Very mildly during his service in the HMRC, as his inventions have fairly steep costs, and have so far mostly stayed in Tinker. His first and biggest created invention, however, was a supposed innovative power generator, that innovatively generated an induced microwave burst and melted a nearby apartment building, fitting the trope quite nicely.
The Atoner: In a way. With his assignment to the HMRC being due to (accidental) mass murder, he has decided to use his skills to help others survive, even if it means him designing weapons to let others kill people more efficiently. He does, however, own the only non-lethal ranged weapon on record in the HMRC.
Eldritch Abomination: Between his new shapechanging abilities, his amps, and his...unconventional morality, Xan is about as close as any HMRC is likely to be to an Eldritch Abomination. Except for Grate after eating the manipulator-battery-pill.
The Ace: She seems to excel at anything she tries her hand at.
Action Girl: She completed 27 HMRC missions without a visible scar or scratch on her skin while a good number of people die on their first assignment...
Retired Action Girl: ...And now she spends her time reading magazines, injuring and killing anyone who annoys or outright pisses her off as well as answering questions about weaponry and other minor matters.
Berserk Button: Inmates trying to modify their equipment to see through her clothing. The only documented case of someone doing this ended with the offending NPC being thrown out of the ship through an airlock.