This is the constantly increasing and changing list of characters from Einsteinian Roulette. More characters being thrown into the Paracelsus' Sword and the sheer lack of interaction by some people may mean innacuracies in the character count.This list is based mostly on the one in the main thread's character listing post.
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The Bastards-Original Ensemble
Pale farm boy from a mostly rural world.
Tall and black-haired mercenary.
- The Corruption: Infected by a genetic disease in the second mission that gives him more power but is slowly turning him into a mindless monster.
- Mother Russia Makes You Strong: He has a russian name and had the higher starting strength stat of the initial ensemble.
- Team Killer: The infamous title persists due to an accident during the first mission.
Red-haired cowardly cat burglar and medic.
- Dirty Coward: Spends most of her on-mission time running away, hiding and generally not helping anyone.
- Earn Your Title: Faith is known as 'Worst Medic' because she generally either ignores or exacerbates her teammates' injuries.
Female mercenary supposedly harboring feelings of affection towards Jim.
- Arson, Murder, and Jaywalking: The sole reason she was sent to the HMRC. Strict law enforcement. Subverted somewhat later in the story when it is revealed that the reason stated was only a fabricated lie - it wasn't the primary cause on why she was sent to the HMRC, but an intentional fabrication made to cover up her mistakes. Arson and Murder fall under the primary causes but are not listed as her crime.
- Earn Your Title: Feyri is known as 'The Powersliding Mercenary', due to her actions in the first noted mission against an alien sentinel. It was later tested that the Sentinel in question was a lot more powerful than realized.
- Thou Shalt Not Kill: She was a mercenary for most of her pre-HMRC story, but even then she never took a life in combat.
- Averted somewhat later in a talk with Jim; averted in a way that, while it is true that she never took a life 'intentionally', her reason of being in the HMRC was a fabricated lie. A life was taken from collateral damage due to a failed sabotage mission on her home colony which deeply affected her: beliefs and principles alike. Doubly averted in the fact that she has still not yet taken an organic life.
Vat-grown human created as a military experiment.
- Artificial Human: He was created in a lab which was trying to develop genetically-engineered soldiers.
- Butt Monkey: If Jim is on a mission, generally the first time something bad happens - such as death or mind rape - he's the victim.
- Gasmask Long Coat: He was one of these originally.
- Transhuman: Jim's 'class' and what he was created for.
- Wrestler in All of Us: Jim was the first character to begin using wrestling moves as an acceptable form of offense.
Post-First Mission Player Characters
May (formerly known as Elizas Colton Roxine)
Genderless, hairless albino "human" with vaguely feminine features.
- Cloudcuckoolander: "I am Torso, more than a God, equal of a man, less than a potato."
- Gag Boobs: After the "feminization" procedure performed before the fifth mission started.
- Earn Your Title: "Cockroach Man", gained due to his habit of liking dark places and constantly hiding from light. He was arrested inside some random person's wardrobe.
- Dirty Communists: How the dictatorial government portrays him (and any group or individual contrary to its tyranny).
- Jerkass Fašade
- Mr. Vice Guy: He is one of the few characters to ever drink and smoke, and is also one of the few if not the only to show heroic tendencies.
- Plucky Comic Relief: After suffering moderate brain damage after an overdose on anaesthetic, his hobbies include designing impractical weapons based around fashionable headgear, filling VR simulations with owls and plowing fields of sand in alien anomalies with the faceplate of his helmet.
- Prince Charming Wannabe: A product of his upbringing, he will often attempt to assist or defend a "helpless female", even when said female is vastly more competent than himself.
- Spoiled Brat: Son of a planetary governor and spoiled since his birth.
Nikitian Greiss ("Nik")
- Wide-Eyed Idealist: Believes the dictatorial government is perfect and flawless, and that it has only the people in mind with each and every action.
Nekarios Aurea-Inanis ("Nick")
Empyrea Cymac (Empyrean)
- Accidental Pervert: Due to her constantly failing dexterity rolls, she fell on top of the resident's pervert while trying to get him away from May. She only succeeded in accidentally getting his pants off and groping him.
- Nice Guy: Seems to be this, although his quips also manage to get him in trouble.
- Unlovable Sex Maniac: Spends a good amount of time trying to grope the women in the Paracelsus' Sword.
- Fetish: For hand lasers, the weakest available weapons.
The Armory Master
- The Ace: She seems to excel at anything she tries her hand at.
- Action Girl: She completed 27 HMRC missions without a visible scar or scratch on her skin while a good number of people die on their first assignment...
- Retired Action Girl: ...And now she spends her time reading magazines, injuring and killing anyone who annoys or outright pisses her off as well as answering questions about weaponry and other minor matters.
- Almighty Janitor
- Berserk Button: Inmates trying to modify their equipment to see through her clothing. The only documented case of someone doing this ended with the offending NPC being thrown out of the ship through an airlock.
- Non-Player Character