Einsteinian Roulette is a Roll To Dodge game on the Bay12 Forum that centers around the short lives and violent deaths of a group of inmates in the Hazardous Materials Requisition Corps or H.M.R.C. These inmates wake from stasis aboard the battleship "Paracelsus' Sword" and are immediately tasked by the omnipresent on-board computer Steve to complete ten incredibly dangerous missions to win their unconditional freedom. The missions usually take the form of retrieving various artifacts, investigating peculiar phenomena, or otherwise performing actions where traumatic amputation would be considered a favorable outcome.The game can be found here, along with the on-ship thread.
The game as a whole contains examples of
The Ace: The Armory Master. She is just better than you. At anything.
Aerith and Bob: Characters named Ivan, Jim and Thomas coexist with Thrak, Feyri, and Mesk.
A God Am I: Bishop's way of acting during the third mission before the mess he was stuck into finally hit home.
Almighty Janitor: The Armory Master. A woman who, over the course of the game, is revealed to have survived 27 missions without injury and is capable of literally shrugging off nuclear weapons, spends her time sitting in the armory kiosk reading magazines and occasionally causing grievous bodily harm to those who annoy her.
Ambiguous Robots: Synth-flesh in all forms, from artificial limbs to enormous mechs.
Animal Motifs: Milno has the honey badger as his personal symbol and sigil.
Anyone Can Die: The disasters caused both by the environment, the enemies and the characters themselves along with the random nature of the results make this stay true.
Anything That Moves: Elizas was described as "omnisexual", and his player himself stated that Elizas has every sentient being as his One True Pairing. Luckily he never got any during the game itself.
Artificial Limbs: Very common acquisition after a mission that involves a lost limb, some players even volunteer to get them without losing a limb first.
Beauty Is Never Tarnished: Averted. Losing limbs nets the characters prosthesis made of chrome-shiny metal, and serious injuries grant them scars, whether they are male or female.
Berserk Button: Faith has a literal one of these, after the second mission.
Bestiality Is Depraved: Elizas, among the many crimes that landed him in the HMRC, got it on with a tiger.
Betting Mini-Game: There is an NPC upon the ship who sells boxes containing experimental tech. You can't look in the box, but you can buy it anyway.
BFG: Many of the weapons qualify. The Fission Instigator fires a nuke and is so heavy that most people can only handle it with the assistance of Powered Armor.
Black Comedy: The game runs on this, with special mention to the uncaring attitude displayed towards human life and well-being.
Body Horror: Examples abound, from The Altered, a faction of humans that have been genetically modified so rampantly as to completely lose their humanity and often end up merged together into gibbering, oozing, gurgling organic war machines, to Ivan's slow mutation into a mindless, chittering beast.
Boring, but Practical: Before the fourth mission, Milno gets some metal poles from destroyed furniture in the mess hall and uses them to check for traps during the mission while advancing cautiously, which actually works.
Bulletproof Human Shield: One of the reasons given by one of the inmates for lugging around a teammate who had lost half his body during a mission.
Butt Monkey: Jim. A clone who was obsolete almost as soon as he was made and so was given to the HMRC with the others of his kind. In the first mission he was the first to die when he lost his lower body, and his remains were shot in the heart by Ivan as well as used as a skateboard by Feyri. In the third mission he was the first infected by an alien life form that caused him to see walking corpses and attempt to kill teammates. He also got shut down, reactivated, and lost his right arm and head during the rest of the mission.
Casanova Wannabe: Renen, the resident pervert. He claims to have a personality disorder, and whenever his "normal" conscience is in control, he is portrayed as this.
Character Development: A small amount of time in the HMRC tends to forge the inmates into more decided, hardier individuals. Or not.
Combat Tentacles: Nekarios gets a pair of those after volunteering for experiments with Doc. They are quickly replaced by normal arms after he is very vocal about how he does not like the outcome.
Cool Shades: Feyri summons a pair of those during a virtual reality tinkering session.
Crapsack Universe: Spread across space colonies, the majority of mankind is under the opressive rule of a dictatorial government and under the constant threat of various alien races aside from their rulers' disregard for human life.
Cyborg: Convicts that are too injured to continue become this as they are often have parts - occasionally their whole body, replaced with various robotic appendages and transplants.
Dungeon Bypass: Happens due to an accident during the fourth mission, making the inmates' task considerably easier.
Cutting the Knot: The Dungeon Bypass was caused by Nekarios' Oh Crap accidental star, which started out as an attempt to use a Microwave Field manipulator to incinerate a large group of rebel forces.
Earn Your Title: Various characters in the Sword have nicknames or titles, most of them obtained due to terrible performances during missions. Some examples:
Faith is Worst Medic.
Ivan is Teamkiller, and his gauss rifle is named after his title.
Mesk is Kickboxing Doctor, and not in a good way.
Feyri is often referred as the Powersliding Mercenary.
Earth-Shattering Kaboom: In Mission 3, where Steve fired on the moon that housed the research lab the team was investigating with the main cannons of the Paracelsus' Sword. This in reaction to Bishop's news of a sentient audio file that came from an area of space that does not obey the laws of physics.
Epic Fail: Rolling a "1" can, and has, resulted in everything from a medic trying to fix a dislocated shoulder via kicking the patient repeatedly to an attempted handshake devolving into one of the inmates laying on the floor sandwiched between two women (and a series of bad rolls from the people involved in the sandwich wound up with the man without his pants).
Explosive Leash: Each inmate has a shock module implanted on their brain stem and spinal cord, allowing Steve to electrocute them to death at any time. More often used as a method of invoking painful spasms then anything else, unless forced.
Extreme Omnisexual: Elizas wrestled Jim (who by that point had a fully cybernetic body) for the sake of groping him, going as far as licking his faceplate and trying to reach suspicious areas with his hands. Even though Jim had nothing there but metal.
Failed a Spot Check: The use of dice to determine the results of various actions means this is bound to happen and cause serious problems for the characters.
Gas Mask Longcoat: Jim was one of these before the accident on the first mission.
Giant Wall of Watery Doom: What spilled forth from China-9's gigantic dam after it was destroyed, killing thousands of unfortunate souls who lived miles away.
Guns Akimbo: Implies in penalties to accuracy even to Powered Armor wearing characters due to the difficulty in aiming properly with two guns.
The Horde: A type of alien which uses reproduction mechanisms similar to fungi and is capable of swarming a planet with an enormous army before consuming its resources and turning it into a biological spaceship qualifies.
Kleptomaniac Heroes: Happens in the fifth mission, with the carefree looting of innocent people's houses by some HMRC members.
Lightning Bruiser: Erik. Faith in her berserk mode, to a lesser extent.
(Un) Lovable Sex Maniac : Elizas spent nearly every free minute going after one lady or another, a trend that eventually led to his demise. Renen, his replacement, also counts.
Mad Doctor: The Doctor. He's a little too enthusiastic when anyone mentions science and experimentation pertaining to the human body, and will routinely go beyond what you ask him to do to your character if you go in as a volunteer.
The Men in Black: Men in Black Hazmat suits tend to show up and abduct characters who have had internal proximity contact with xenobiological lifeforms.
Mind Rape: This tends to happen a lot whenever aliens are present.
Oh Crap: During Mission 4, Nekarios accidentally created a miniature star in his hand while standing on the vertical face of a hydroelectric dam, which then proceeded to destroy the dam, after atomizing the unfortunate Nekarios, who fell into it while running back up the dam.
Only Sane Man: Bishop's behavior during the third mission while everyone lost it and offered little help: be one of the only people to remember the moon they are in is about to explode and try to fulfill the objectives in the process of freaking out, alone if need be.
Powered Armor: The Mark III and Battlesuit qualify, since they have both armor and an energy-powered exoskeleton.
Ragtag Bunch of Misfits: The inmates vary from intellectuals who were trying to destroy the UWM's dictatorship and violent mercenaries to farmers, bakers and construction workers on the other end of the spectrum.
Random Number God: Determines the outcome of almost every action and event for both characters and enemies.
Lampshaded during the fourth mission, in which a good intelligence roll reveals to one of the characters that a wounded inmate did not, in fact, have brain worms, and that the whole affair was instead caused by some kind of confusion that happens to her "roughly 1/6th of the time" she uses her brain. The die used is a six-sided one.
Robosexual: One of the female characters is (supposedly) attracted to an inmate who had his brain thrown into a robot body.
Spider Limbs: Nekarios after visiting the Doctor for voluntary cybernetic limbs, quickly swapped out after he designed his own.
Super Strength: Faith's berserk mode grants her super strength but her bones and muscles are still torn and broken by the force exerted upon them.
Stop Helping Me!: Exceedingly common when it comes to medics. Mesk gained the nickname "The Kickboxing doctor" after trying to cure a drug overdose by kicking a teammate's ribcage in and Faith tried to fix a dislocated shoulder by simply yanking the other arm out of it's socket so they're even.
Team Killer: Ivan, the mercenary slowly mutating into a mindless monster, wields the dreaded "Teamkiller" gauss rifle. In addition, there's Nekarios, or Nick for short. He (albeit accidentally) killed two teammates plus himself and crippled more in an accident with his "Mass Murder" Microwave Field Manipulator.
Too Dumb to Live: A good number of the HMRC members live by this trope. And die/get maimed accordingly.
Transhuman: The large variety of cybernetics, genetic tweaks, and other... "Enhancements" (By special order of the Doctor) available... for a small sum of Tokens. It is also the name of one of the starting professions.
We Can Rebuild Him: So long as your brain makes it back to the ship, you will be dumped into a robot body and continue to serve.
Wetware CPU: Steve. The omnipresent computer that acts as a combination warden and drillmaster, is made of the brains of former inmates.
Wrestler in All of Us: The cast has been known to wrestle occasionally. At the end of the second mission, Jim and Elizas get into a wrestling match - although it's fair to say that while Jim is just sparring, Elizas is actively trying to grope his non-existent naughty robot bits. For another example, May and Lukas spar by using a variety of wrestling moves upon each other.
You Can Panic Now: Steve's introductory speech to the HMRC convicts of the first mission ends with a "You may start screaming now".
You Gotta Have Blue Hair: Dark grey in Bishop's case, white in Empyrea and Victor's case. Faith's red hair may qualify as well.
, along with the on-ship thread
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