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Characters: Cazador
Characters from the Argentinean comic book Cazador
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    Cazador 

Cazador

"Don't run 'cause nobody's getting out of here alive! Carajo!"

Nominal Hero par excellence, Cazador is a hedonist whose only interests are alcohol, women and football. He only answers the Call to Adventure when there's absolutely no other choice, and always reluctantly -unless the correct Berserk Button is pressed or a sufficient reward is offered to him. His backstory actually stretches back to the colonization of the Americas: he was the son of a German mercenary who arrived to the New World in an expedition led by Juan Díaz de Solís. Expelled from his town under accusations of cannibalism, Cazador led a group of fellow exiles in a bloody crusade against the natives, whom he blamed for his troubles.

During one of his brutal raids, Cazador spared a native who promised to lead him to a hill full of pure silver and food in return. He was instead lured into an ambush, where most of his men were massacred and he was taken prisoner. As punishment for his actions, the natives subjected him to a ritual by which spirits possessed his body, granting him eternal life, so that he would get to experience the pain of not being able to die. He was therefore cursed to walk the Earth from then on, becoming a bane for those around him. Accompanying this curse, there was a revelation: unbeknownst to Cazador, as his father had kept it secret from him, his own mother was a native, and she died while giving birth to him.

Allies

    Uncle Pastafrola 

Uncle Pastafrola

"Saluti Cazadori!"

An Italian mobster who hangs out with Cazador sometimes. He considers Cazador a close friend, but the feeling isn't mutual.

    Hunter 

Hunter (a.k.a. '1st World Cazador')

"Embrace with me the cause of freedom!"

Cazador's intelligent and polite American counterpart, real name Robert Howard. Working for NASA, he refused to take part in the construction of an explosive device using technology recovered from a UFO crash. Unfortunately, that meant he knew too much, which led to an assassination attempt in his house disguised as a gas explosion. Robert survived, but his family was killed. Angry at this, he donned the identity of Hunter to chase down and kill the persons responsible for the attack.
  • Badass Bookworm: He is a former NASA scientist, after all.
  • Badass Normal: He only has his wits, guns, and some cool gadgets to take on the likes of Captain America, Superman, or a whole alien army.
  • Category Traitor: He is branded as a traitor by other Americans when he goes against the government's plans, but he's just doing what he thinks is right.
  • The Comically Serious: He comes off as this whenever he discusses the mission with Cazador, who couldn't care less about it and complains constantly.
  • Conspiracy Theorist: Though in this comic's universe, and considering his backstory, that's being Properly Paranoid.
  • Defector from Decadence: He left his country to seek out Cazador for help after learning that the US government was planning to stave off an alien invasion by selling out South America to the invaders (perhaps a Shout-Out to the ill-fated remake of El Eternauta, which had that same premise). He also had personal reasons for going against the wishes of his government and fighting the aliens, as many years prior they had abducted Bettie Page, of whom he is in love with, as part of the deal.
  • Evil Counterpart: Inverted, he is Cazador's Good Counterpart. Pretty much the only thing they have in common is a blue cowl with a white symbol on the forehead and the meaning of their codenames; even though they both are on the side of Good their motivations for doing so are completely opposite.
  • Good Is Not Soft: He's willing to fight with lethal force if it's needed to save the world.
  • Guile Hero: Cazador wasn't willing to help him at first, so he convinced him that Bettie would thank them very, very well if they rescued her.
  • Heartbroken Badass: His encounter with Bettie Page doesn't come out the way he would have liked (actually, he never meets Bettie at all, the aliens show him a decoy to make him believe that she has become a hideous abomination. The real Bettie is fine, she just doesn't want anything to do with him).
  • Hero of Another Story: Besides having his own comic which predated Cazador, a Spin-Off featuring him was planned, but it didn't take off.
  • Innocent Bigot: He can be a bit condescending at times, but he means well.
  • Jet Pack: He carries some on his jeep.
  • Meet Your Early Installment Weirdness: He is in fact the original Cazador, before the massive Retool that resulted in the comic as it became popular.
  • Nice Guy: Especially when compared to his brutish Argentinean version.
  • Non-Powered Costumed Hero: His costume is just his cowl, a Badass Longcoat and a Utility Belt, but still.

Enemies

    Melkor 

Melkor

"Cry Cazador, let my victory soak in your tears."

One of the demons vying for control of Hell, he has a bone to pick with Cazador for thwarting his plans to control the mortal plane as well.

    Balrog 

Balrog

A powerful demon who can only speak in swear words, usually in long, uninterrupted strings. He shares more than a passing resemblance to the Tasmanian Devil, and characters lampshade it as a Running Gag.

    The Ultimate Abomination 

The Ultimate Abomination

"Cazador, you will repent from the evils you inflict upon me."

Cazador's malformed brother(s) who grew out of a cyst extracted from his anus. Despite having three somewhat independent heads, he is always treated as a single entity. He has more than a bit in common with Frankenstein's Monster: abandoned by his creator/brother, and feared because of his monstrous appearance, he turns evil in frustration. In fact, many of his lines are practically lifted from the original novel; therefore, many of the tropes that apply to the creature apply to him as well.

    Captain Cuete 

Captain Cuete

"Your kingdom has come to an end, Antichrist!"

The result of a secret Super Soldier program helmed by Reed Richards, working for NASA under orders from Stan Lee.
  • Ascended Fanboy: Reading comics inspired him to become a superhero, which wasn't that difficult for him as he already had superpowers.
  • Battle Cry: He's fond of shouting his own name as this.
  • Captain Superhero: He wasn't very original in his choice of codename.
  • Church Militant: He was given a stern Catholic education by his uncle, who was a priest. When he is contacted by the turd god (see below), this gives him a new purpose in life, to start a crusade against the Antichrist.
  • The Cuckoolander Was Right: He has a drug-fuelled hallucination in which he is contacted by a god made entirely of shit. As it turns out, though, that god is very real.
  • Enemy Summoner: He can produce excrements with a limited life of their own; they have eyes, mouths and claws.
  • Fartillery: His superpower. He can even use his explosive farts to fly like a rocket, which gives a double meaning to his codename ('cuete', Argentinean slang for a fart, is a corruption of the Spanish word for 'rocket', 'cohete').
  • Gasshole: His farts are a Weaponized Exhaust.
  • Junkie Prophet: In his hallucination, the turd god instructs him to seek out the Antichrist, and eventually he does: it's Cazador.
  • Knight Templar: He isn't above killing criminals, and he killed his own uncle when he found him with a prostitute, in violation of his vows.
  • Power Degeneration: As an adult, his skin begins deteriorating and turning into faecal matter, a process that also alters his mind.
  • Power Incontinence: He couldn't control his powers as a child, which lead to a couple of nasty accidents.
  • Sanity Slippage: He begun losing his mind during his Power Degeneration, a condition which wasn't helped by his drug abuse.
  • Superpower Meltdown: He begins one when Cazador injects him with a syringe full of bean soup, which was provided by Mr. Fantastic.
  • Talking Poo: The living excrements mentioned above; Captain Cuete also becomes one himself at the advanced stages of his condition. Finally, the turd god takes it Up to Eleven.
  • With Great Power Comes Great Insanity: He was pretty crazy even before his mind and body begun deteriorating.
  • You Are Number Six: At NASA, he was branded "256" and showcased as a product.

    Serial Killer 

Serial Killer

"I was chosen to stop the god... The demon."

A man whose father was killed during one of Cazador's rampages when he was a kid. Cazador also pointed his gun at him, but spared him. This experience left him severely traumatized, with recurrent nightmares of Cazador. He came to believe that he was a powerful demon, and that by killing people in his name he would be able to calm his rage.
  • Bad Dreams: As a kid, he kept dreaming that Cazador returned to finish him off.
  • Freudian Excuse: His traumatic run-in with Cazador.
  • I Did What I Had to Do: He was convinced that his human sacrifices would calm down Cazador, preventing him from harming even more people.
  • Mood Whiplash: There are few, if any, comical elements in his story; it's completely Played for Drama.
  • No Name Given: We never find out his name, and promotional material only refers to him in generic terms.
  • Perspective Flip: He had been following Cazador's adventures closely since the beginning, and we briefly get to see the events from his perspective. As it turns out, he was actually responsible for an earlier Deus ex Machina: he provided the chainsaw that Cazador found on a bus and used in his first fight against the Ultimate Abomination.
  • Self-Made Orphan: Though Cazador killed his father, he himself killed his own mother and her lover as a final sacrifice.
  • Senseless Sacrifice: He tried to do a heroic sacrifice to stop Cazador for good; alas, he underestimated Cazador's resilience.

    Von Orenstein 

Von Orenstein

"You still owe me my 600 pesos, eh?"

Straddling the line between enemy and mere "annoying acquaintance", Von Orenstein is a comic book store owner and amateur occultist who trusted a copy of the Necronomicon to Cazador, who never paid him back. He is obsessed with collecting on this debt.

    Mama Trabuco 

Mama Trabuco

"If Cazador is the illness, we are the cure."

The leader of the League of Avenger Nannas, a group of elderly Moral Guardians who want to put an end to Cazador's indecency.

'Guest' Characters

    Professor Neurus 

Professor Neurus

"So much power is aphrodisiac!"

The main villain of the Argentinean comic and cartoon Las Aventuras de Hijitus; here he serves as the bad guys' go-to Mad Scientist.

    Superhijitus 

Superhijitus

The Super Mode of Hijitus, here portrayed as an adult and involved in a homosexual relationship with his ally the sheriff of Trulalá.

    Patoruzú 

Patoruzú

"Amalaya! I finally found you, rascals!"

One of Argentina's most renowned comic book characters, he's a wealthy Tehuelche chieftain who's as generous as he's strong, which is a lot. He died off-panel of an unspecified ailment, but he was brought back to life later when his corpse, which had been embalmed with an experimental chemical created by Professor Neurus, was struck by lightning.

    Isidoro and Upa 

Isidoro and Upa

"So, Cazi? That was good, right? I help you. Me!"

Patoruzú's godfather and brother, respectively, who are almost always paired together. They tried to use their relative's dead body to smuggle drugs around the country, but got into trouble with Cazador in the process.

    Superman 

Superman

The last survivor of planet Krypton, which was destroyed by the Junians because of the warmongering nature of its inhabitants. He lives up to that reputation while working as a superpowered enforcer for the US government, though he has plans of his own.
  • Absolute Xenophobe: He looks down on both humans and Martians alike, and plans to kill them all.
  • Beware the Superman: Figuratively and literally.
  • The Chessmaster: He had been pulling strings for about forty years to arrange the mutual destruction of Earth and Mars, part of his plans included sponsoring a civil war on the latter.
  • Double Agent: He works for both the US and the Martian rebels with the intention to pit them against each other.
  • Dragon-in-Chief: To both Bill Clinton and the emperor of the Martian rebels.
  • Lack of Empathy: Batman tries to appeal to his human side. Superman doesn't even let him finish a sentence.
    Superman: I don't strike deals with races that are about to become extinct.
  • Smug Super: He considers himself superior to everyone else.
  • You Have Outlived Your Usefulness: He kills the leader of the rebel Martians and takes control of his army personally.

    Darkseid 

Darkseid

"Do you know how much money it takes to mobilize the armies? I'm broke."

Superman's arch-enemy and supreme ruler of Apokolips, though he's actually Uruguayan. He turns out to be an old friend of Cazador; they met while on vacation some time before the events of his appearance in the comic.
  • Ambiguously Evil: He's still the ruthless leader of Apokolips, but unlike his official incarnation he never shows any true villainous qualities nor a desire for conquest, helping to save the Earth instead by providing reinforcements to fight Superman and the Martians.
  • Berserk Button: Superman.
  • Cassandra Truth: He had been warning humans not to trust Superman for years.
  • Let's Get Dangerous: When Cazador and his group come to his house looking for help, he shows up wearing an undershirt, pyjama pants and slippers, and Hunter comments on how unimpressive he looks. Then Cazador mentions his arch-enemy...
  • Noodle Incident: Cazador owes him ten cents from a previous encounter.

Celebrities

    Diego Maradona 

Diego Maradona

"Caza! Chill out man, come in."

One of the most iconic (and controversial) football players in the history of the sport, and a close friend of Cazador.

Others

    Inspector Bullshit 

Inspector Bullshit

"Courage, my friend. The old English tradition calls for an iron stomach."

A bumbling police detective from England who follows cases involving Cazador and provides exposition.


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