Nation Critique Thread

I haven't seen a thread like this yet, so if there is a duplicate, I apologize.

We have a Hero Critique Thread, a Villain Critique Thread... so, how about a Nation Critique Thread?

This is where you outline the history, culture, military, foreign relations, government, society, cultural inspirations, and so forth of any nations you've concocted for your original fiction.

We get to observe and critique your performance. Of course, after the first post on a nation is sent, before releasing your own nation, comment on one inclusion above you.

edited 21st Apr '15 1:39:12 PM by Serocco

For a Science Fantasy setting I'm creating, the The Republic of Zion. The setting is an alien planet resembling a fantasy world colonized by humans long ago. Human colonization was a major catastrophe, resulting in humans forgetting their culture, history, and technology.

Zion was formed by a slave (known as St. Quinn) living in a Viking-Esque culture. He was a man of great faith to the God of Good in this setting. One night, he began receiving prophetic visions. Motivated by his visions, he purchased his freedom and began looking for escaped slaves and downtrodden humans. He led them to the to Holy City from his visions, which was carved out of a mountain (making it a literal City on a Hill).

Inside the city was a lot of advanced technology, such as guns (allowing them to be the first in this setting to avert Fantasy Gun Control), vehicles, and robots.

St. Quinn stood in the city and declared humanity (especially the humans of the Holy City) are the Chosen People, who are to spread civilization across the four corners of the world. Currently, they're a military superpower about the size of Australia, with military bases scattered all across the world.

Zion is a republic, comparable to America in structure. The big difference being that instead of a supreme court, there's an order of prophets who speak to their patron deity instead of holding trials.

Individual Human rights include Freedom of Speech, Freedom to practice any religion in private (with most, but not all, local governments dropping the "in private" part). The enslavement of humans and organic non-humans has been outlawed, replaced by robotic slave labor.

Aliens (who resemble Space Elves) are not yet legally citizens in their society. It is illegal, however, to assault, murder, steal from, or enslave Aliens. Local governments are free to extend further rights to them as they please.

The Prophets are currently working to make their society more egalitarian to non-humans, but it's been a slow process.

Currently, they're in a cold war with a nation known as ENIGMA, who are the main antagonists of the setting. They were, similarly, formed by a deity-in this case, the God of Evil. In fact, both empires are really just tools in the Divine Conflict between the two.

Zion is very fitting - land of God run by priests. I do like how they seem far less fundamentalist than most depictions of The Theocracy. What was your inspiration for them?

Ancient Israel and Columbia of Bioshock Infinite were probably the biggest inspirations for them. I started out with trying to create a Good Counterpart to the latter, and ended up adding elements of the former.

edited 21st Apr '15 2:20:53 PM by Protagonist506

Columbia? Hoh boy. I'm surprised there aren't any nationalistic tendencies to that degree in Zion... unless there are?

Yeah, probably not the best starting point for semi-good guys. They have nationalist tendencies, too, though not to the extreme Columbia takes it. They consider themselves to be the "chosen nation", after all. They're rather imperialistic as a result. However, unlike Columbia, they're out to spread democracy to the world. Keep in mind that, in the setting, nearly all other nations resemble feudalistic monarchies and oligarchies. This, ironically, makes them an anachronistically progressive society in many ways.

That makes them more interesting, for them not to be as horrid as Columbia or even as devout as you'd expect.

I think it's time I send out one of my own nations.

• Full Title: The Commonwealth of Ream.
• History: Ream is a continent on the far east. Originally decentralized and mostly community-based, Ream experienced a surge in refugees who sought escape from persecution in neighboring lands. Many of these refugees coalesced around what is known as Vicars, a group of warlords who formed their own private armies and subjugated most of the population under their direct control; complete with seven of their own cities and their own monuments at the capitol. Seen as illegitimate heads of state, the Vicars formed an eighth city to be the capitol of their newly formed Commonwealth, where they sanctioned the creation of a federal authority to run day-day-day operations in place of the Vicars.
• Government: The Commonwealth is a federation of seven metropolitan city-states run and owned by the Vicar. Legislative and managerial authority is delegated to the Quorum, a committee of thirteen lawmakers appointed by the Vicars. They largely follow the bidding of the officers who selected them; rendering them as mere figureheads. Executive authority was delegated to an office called the Administrator, the head of government. If the Quorum is unable to perform its duties, the Administrator takes full control over the government, including legislative powers, until a new Quorum committee is appointed. An Administrator has the ability to appoint System Monitors - political officers who supervise all aspects of the government and the military not named the Administrator, in the name of national defense.
• Demographics: While there remains a substantial human population, most of the Commonwealth is comprised of Aura Users - humans who've learned to manifest their Battle Aura in fantastical ways, usually for combat. Most of the Aura User population in Ream consists of Evokers, a cadre (or class/caste) who utilizes Animal Battle Auras. All told, the Commonwealth has a grand total of just over 600 million people, mostly concentrated in the metropolitan areas of the Vicars' seven city-states. For the most part, humans were treated as punching bags by Aura Users who abused their power; the Cullivers provided a convenient excuse for them to lash out even after the Vicars came to town and dissipated the (however minimal) sectarianism between Aura Users.
• Culture: None that is officially sanctioned by the government. Anchored through the Quorum, the Vicars banned any overt displays of culture in society, in order to foster Patriotic Fervor. The Vicars maintain that such Patriotic Fervor is the "keystone" to preventing sectarianism between the various Aura User cadres, let alone the normal humans who'd get caught in the crossfire.
• Military: There is a federal armed forces under the command of the Administrator, complete with an army, navy, and air force, each led by a general, admiral, and marshal, but each of the Vicars run their own private armed forces that could easily compete with that of the military. After most of the chain of command was suddenly and mysteriously assassinated, protocol dictated that the next-highest ranking officer, Llundus Carrington, was to take over as supreme commander of the Commonwealth Armed Forces, although he prefers Admiral and largely merged the air force and army with his navy.
• Foreign affairs: Largely neutral. No diplomatic embassy is allowed in Ream, and no diplomat would ever want an embassy in Ream because of the Vicars. However, covert action has been taken by various Administrators to undermine a notorious Anti-Aura paramilitary known as Skuurnur, who are populated by humans who could repel, reject, regress, even remove Aura. A city-state, called the People's Republic of Averrium, was created near Ream to serve as a sanctuary and a vanguard for refugees and other fugitives fleeing persecution from Cullivers. Rumor has it that at least one Vicar was such a fugitive before becoming a Vicar, but nothing has been confirmed on their end.
• Role: Due to their neutral nature, they get caught up in the geopolitical wrangling between the various world powers. Internally, there's a power struggle Admiral Carrington, a power hungry narcissist who opposes the Vicars, and Administrator Eschemi Hasidic, a Reasonable Authority Figure who supports the Vicar (although tepidly). This has less to do with the Vicars and more to do with Carrington wanting payback against his former boss for firing him before he joined the military. Hasidic attempts to broker something of an armistice between Skuurnur and the rest of the world, but a hardliner within Skuurnur tried to have her killed, leading to Carrington attempting a power grab. Hasidic is forced to work with one of Skuurnur's strongest Cullivers to wrestle power away from Carrington in exchange for toppling the Vicars and transferring full authority to the Administrator.
  • Hasidic fights Carrington while Siggueir (the Culliver) faces the Vicars. Several Vicars are killed as a result. Carrington, annoyed that he couldn't finish off the Vicars, orders the navy to bombard the entire continent of Ream while he escapes. Siggueir proceeds to eradicate the navy, therefore depleting much of the Commonwealth's military. In the rebuilding process, Hasidic's deputy is selected as Administrator, while accepting assistance from Skuurnur as they help rebuild Ream. However, many outside Ream felt that the new Administrator was effectively a puppet for Skuurnur, who sought to expand their sphere of influence. One Vicar, Cerise Enneagram, had backed away from the conflict and proceeded to absorb most of her colleagues' territory into her own, thereby leaving Enneagram as the strongest and remaining Vicar; she is practically the sole head of state now, which did not sit well with many. Sectarianism returns in full, leading many to seek departure from the Commonwealth and the establishment of rival regional councils (or greater autonomy for their cadres). This clusterfuck leads to various world powers developing their own spheres of influence within Ream, to position themselves against Skuurnur.

edited 25th Jun '15 9:33:47 AM by Serocco

I take it this is a set up for a vestigial empire? That sounds like it could be a good set up for one. I like that they're neutral, rather than good or evil per say. Usually such stories make the vestigial empire good or evil rather than neutral.

Notice: it all started falling apart after the Exarchs were removed from power.

What do you think overall of the Commonwealth?

edited 22nd Apr '15 10:57:51 PM by Serocco

Before I comment on your nation, I wanted to say that this is an amazing thread; I hope this attracts as much attention as the hero/villain critique forums. If not, then take it to the World Building section so it might get more attention, because it deserves it.

Now, as a whole I think the Commonwealth of Ream is a very well thought-out nation. I like its neutral stance in world affairs, but am more interested in the political angle. You've focused a lot on how Aura Users are treated badly in other works, but it's interesting to see that they can be just as oppressive and cruel towards ordinary humans.

This is the Kingdom of Ylati from my Diesel Punk Dark Fantasy story Clockwalkers, the nation where most of the story takes place.

• Full Title: The Kingdom of Ylati

• History: Ylati is the only human haven left on Rica after the world was struck by the magical disaster known as Rain. It ravaged the land and wiped out entire races, leading to the dissolution of most of the old-world civilizations. Worse, it led to the formation of a toxic mist known as the Miasma that mutates and taints anything exposed to it. Terrified human survivors fled across the seas to escape this Miasma and their destroyed homes, led by the Four Heroes. These four brave men and women led the refugees to a new land untainted by the Miasma and encouraged the remains of various human civilizations to put aside internal differences to build a united nation where humanity as a whole could recover—and take revenge on the creatures who had caused the Rain.

• Government: Ylati is divided into four "Quadrants" along the points of the compass: North South East and West. These Quadrants are separated by 130 foot walls that run the length of the Kingdom. Each Quadrant is run by an Overseer who lives within the Quadrant's capital city. This is not an elected position, but one that is passed down through generations. Each Overseer is a member of the Four Noble Families—descendants of the Four Heroes and the only aristocracy in the Kingdom. Beneath each Overseers is a Representative Council. These men and women represent each city within the Quadrant and bring the issues of their city to the Overseer for decisions and guidance. The council members are chosen by the Lord Mayor of their respective city—and this Mayor is himself/herself chosen democratically by the citizens. Ultimate control over the Quadrants however is in the hands of the King or Queen. The Royal Family lives in the lavish capital city of Kes'trina in the so called "Central Quadrant" in the middle of the nation. The monarch has total power over the Overseers and Quadrants, though they don't often exercise this on a day-to-day basis. However they have absolute control over the military, resources and foreign affairs of the nation, and it is they who select diplomats and create or abolish laws for the wider Kingdom. The Royal Family is extremely secretive and exist shrouded in mystery to the common man or woman no matter how rich or poor they may be.

• Demographics: Ylati's largest population is comprised of humans—over 36 million to be exact. It second largest population is the race known as the nuriel. Their race was conquered only one hundred years after the formation of Ylati in revenge for causing the Rain. They have existed as a Slave Race for humans for centuries with an entire culture being formed around this bondage. A few elves and dwarves live in Ylati, though few do so on a permanent basis Those who do live for extended periods within the country are merchants of diplomats, and these diplomats—particularly the dwarven variety—rarely leave the Foreign Office Quarter within the capital.

• Culture: In the seven thousand years Ylati has existed, the cultures of its original founders have either vanished, changed or receded into new ones. Local beliefs and traditions vary not only in the Quadrants but in the regions of those Quadrants as well. Despite these differences, the Royal Government ensures that the population is imbued with a set of beliefs from an early age. One of the most prominent is that magic in any form is a dangerous force that must not be practiced or even looked into. Even the most innocent questions about the past age when magic reigned supreme are forbidden and attempts to are punishable by imprisonment or death. Utter devotion to the well-being of the Kingdom is greatly, with children being told that Ylati is humanity, since it is the last human haven in the world. Because of this, it is encouraged for everyone to be on guard for those who would bring down society, even if they are loved ones and show no hesitation or mercy in turning them over to the proper authorities. Nuriel slavery is an ubiquitous part of Ylatain life with many middle-class or wealthy owning multiple slaves. Many humans feel hatred for the nuriel race, as the story of how they caused the Rain in a greedy bid for power over the world's people is passed down as part of the Kingdom's history. The most common religion in Ylati is the worship of a nameless polythestic pantheon known only as "the Gods". There is little structure or ceremony to the religion, mainly a set of commands to be moral, decent and kind to one another—and to avoid those things which the Royal Government deems unacceptable....

• Military: Ylati's military is known as the martial service, and it has four distinct branches, though only three officially exist. Service to the military is voluntary, though all citizens must learn a single weapons skill starting at age fifteen.
  • The first and largest are the Peace Officers. They are military police who patrol the streets of every city and town in Ylati, enforcing its laws and arresting offenders and presenting them for trial before a magistrate and jury. They have a Lord Sheriff who controls the force of each town and are largely independent of one another.

  • The second largest branch is the Exterior Guard. They are responsible for protecting Ylati from outside incursions, either by abominations from within the Miasma or from hostile invaders. They are most active in the East Quadrant where Ylati borders on Miasma-infested territory. They receive heavy training in hand-to-hand combat, swordplay, archery and shield techniques, and are ruthlessly efficient. Unlike the Peace Officers, they do have a supreme commander, though lieutenants command each Quadrant beneath him or her.

  • The smallest force is the Palace Guardians. They are chosen from the other branches after some display of either valor, heroism or immense intelligence. These are the force that guard the royal palace itself and protect the King and Queen from harm. Not much is known about them, and though they are indeed skilled, they have rarely had to live up to their duties, other than protect against spur-of-the-moment assassination plots. This is because elaborate attempts to kill the Royal Family or other important dignitaries often fail before the execution phase, thanks to the last branch.

  • The Vision: The Vision officially doesn't exist. It is a secret anti-rebellion force loyal only the the Royal Family and reports directly to them. It has a commander, who is essentially The Spymaster and who receives and issues orders directly from the King or Queen. They have authority to kill and torture anyone deemed enemies of the state, and have often diffused situations that would have caused difficulty for the Kingdom had they been allowed to progress. They are the best of the best, handpicked from the academy while still in training. A Vision agent can take command of soldiers from the other martial service branches for any length of time and use them for whatever means will accomplish his or her mission. They act as foot soldiers to the Ancient Conspiracy running the nation.

• Foreign Affairs: Ylati's relations with the Atnar the forest nation of the elves have been good. It was Ylati who allowed the elves to create Atnar when they fled across the sea only 169 years after Ylati's formation. Relations with the dwarves who have always lived in the underground city of Palenthug are slightly rockier; it has taken centuries of wheedling and favors to convince the fiercely isolationist dwarves to trade with Ylati and share technological secrets. Recently dwarven tunneling trespassed into Ylati's underground, resulting in a war that last fourteen years and took many lives. Though it ended with Ylatain victory, tensions have remained high, and there are allegations that the dwarves have been secretly aiding Helios, a terrorist nuriel movement that fights against slavery and is trying to force the Royal Government to free all nuriel slave within the Kingdom.

• Technology Level: Ylatiain technology resembles late 1920s. Electricity and running water as well as cars typical of the period run on cobblestone roads. However weapons technology has been purposely suppressed for fear of it causing widespread destruction just as combat magic did thousands of years ago. Combatants rely on swords, shields, bows and wrist-mounted crossbows that shoot multiple seven inch bolts at incredible speed.

• Role: Ylati is where most of the story happens. It is the birthplace of most of the protagonists, including the main character, a fifteen year old boy named Yggdrasil Jinnette. Through a complex series of events, he is framed for his mother's murder and branded a rebel sympathizer, leaving him no choice but to actually join them in order to protect his life. As he travels, he learns of a sinister plot involving the highest levels of government and worse, the knowledge that the creation of the Kingdom was not accomplished by human actions and determination alone, but with the help of a sinister magical being who has been pulling the strings behind the scenes not just of the kingdom but of the disaster that destroyed the world seven thousand years ago.

edited 24th Apr '15 10:13:01 AM by Swordofknowledge

I'm surprised at how many people like that Ream is neutral. I'm considering adding a second tab underneath Government that names all of the Exarchs, since they are the heads of state, and the Administrators, since they are the heads of government (at the time of the story right now). Not sure if I should.

I like the overall makeup. A kingdom that is run by an upper class of noble families who appoint an overseer in their quadrant. It actually shares similarities with another nation in Eclipse that I will detail here.

The Royal Family seems very shady, though, because of it being an absolute monarchy, and the usage of slavery is a very rough mark on the kingdom. The Martial Service is a fairly cool new term rather than Armed Forces, and The Vision reminds me of this very low-key version of the CIA. Another rough mark; I'm not surprised there's a nuriel resistance group that The Vision dislikes. A largely Gray nation, and I like it - kingdoms are too often pure white in fiction.

edited 24th Apr '15 2:08:34 PM by Serocco

Ah thanks, I'm glad you like it. You're right, Ylati is extremely shady, even more so than what I put on here. On this thread I tried to portray it from an...outsider's point of view, for lack of a better word, both because it technically does operate this way and because the more in-depth explanation would take way too much space and time.

In actuality Ylati is the far more "Black" on the inside, and they actually fulfill the "evil Empire" role for the story. There is no real royal family—it's a long story, but the short explanation is that those who appear to be king and queen are actually children raised and brainwashed from an early age to serve the conspiracy controlling the nation behind the scenes. The heads of Four Noble Families rule the country as an oligarchy and they are controlled by Azelas the Founder, the creature that aided humans in finding the unspoiled land and allowed them to survive.

The nuriel slavery angle is because the nuriel are needed in a ritual that will supposedly give all humans immortality and limitless magical powers, and the country was founded with that ritual in mind.

There's a lot more than just that, don't be afraid to message me if you want to know more. Or not. But I just thought you deserved a more in-depth explanation.

Oh and if you want to learn more about the Vision, they're in the Villains thread somewhere. I just have to find it to give you the link.

edited 24th Apr '15 4:49:55 PM by Swordofknowledge

I figured the Visionary was the actual Shadow Dictator for Ylati. Didn't expect... well, everything else. :P Here is my next nation.

• Full Title: The Regal Union of Gruessao (slated to show up in Eclipse).
• Disclaimer: I could very well change all of this after a while, so keep that in mind.
• History: The continent of Gruessao once consisted of eleven separate kingdoms, each with their own laws and forms of governments. All eleven kingdoms were involved in a series of wars that spanned over one hundred years, only ending when the monarchs personally negotiated what is now known as the Crowned Union. In it, the kingdoms underwent a personal union, where they retain their countries (now called provinces), laws, governments, and monarchies, in exchange for leasing control of defense, foreign affairs, and security over to a singular federal authority - to wit, each is a separate country who surrendered a part of their sovereignty to an independent 12th monarch at the head.
• Government: The Regal Union is a confederate constitutional joint monarchy divided into eleven provinces, each of which is a separate monarchy with their own systems of government. The eleven monarchs, or Parlemours, form a quorum that delegates executive power to the Commissioner; who rules with their advice and consent. The Commissioner holds complete control over the military, law enforcement, commerce, foreign affairs, and security. By any stretch of the imagination, the Commissioner is an autocrat, as they are the final arbitrator in government, but the Parlemours must approve of decisions conducted by the Commissioner in order for anything to get done; and the Parlemours can remove the Commissioner by a super majority vote if they dislike the incumbent enough. The Commissioner serves as a mediator between the provinces and the federal government, as well as a mediator within the provinces and their Parlemours.
  • Meanwhile, the Grand Parlemour is the head of state and the ringleader of the Parlemours; they preside over meetings, dictate topics to discuss, control debate, and allow for votes on any issue they so please, but they cannot veto and they cannot vote, as the eleven Parlemours of the eleven provinces do not need the headache of an even vote on anything controversial. The Grand Parlemour is an independent 12th monarch who symbolizes and embodies the federal government; the Commissioner, in effect, is the Grand Parlemour's de jure representative, and the other Parlemours have the Viceroys as their provincial equivalent. The Grand Parlemour is the owner of a MegaCorp in charge of Augury production in Gruessao; their family who negotiated the Crowned Union and integrated the kingdoms together, in addition to being in charge of the economy. The current Grand Parlemour is Gideon Hadorah, the sixth head of the family and the fourth Grand Parlemour after his father, grandfather, and great-grandfather.
  • The Parlemours are the heads of state for their respective provinces, and their power varies considerably. Some are ceremonial figureheads, some are absolute monarchs, some are mere puppet kings, some are elective monarchs with reserved powers, and some are military dictators. The current Parlemours are Ekronim Aldegor, Omeji Hullorum, Ashoma Sak'regar, Madelene Sobbaral, Had'dah Cen'mach, Malcolm Shev'rohan, Onneir Dhon'nodah, Bemmohul Due'denyo, Ethan Ghos'alah, Immen Odabob, and Jenjew Oggu'pha.
  • Regionally, the eleven provinces each have a stratified governmental system, with the Parlemour as the head of state, the Viceroy as the monarch's representative, the Regent as the monarch's administrator, and/or the Premier as the head of government. The general makeup and associated duties vary widely:
    • Brisbane elects its Viceroy after at least two candidates are nominated by the Regent, who is said to be the "arm" of the Parlemour, who is the "mind." The Viceroy is the head of the Royal Bureau, which dissects, analyzes, and enacts policies for the province, at least in theory, as an extension of the Parlemour, according to the Regent (who many feel is the actual chief of state). Collective cabinet responsibility, where they must publicly approve policy even if they disagree with it, is paramount. Brisbane is the northernmost province, with a history marked by settler-tribal conflicts immortalized as the Frontier Wars (which did not result in any settlement or treaty). The colonial empire of Arundohn, which needed a better destination for convicts, noticed that northern Gruessao was conveniently unclaimed by any of the other colonial powers, and was therefore "empty." What would later become Canberra was de facto independent almost from the get-go, so Arundohn's only major option was a set of land that would become Brisbane. Arundohn established a Penal Colony; the tribes were not recognized as having property rights, and territory could be acquired through "original occupation" rather than conquest or consent. Colonists could settle in areas that did not appear to have significant cultivation from anyone (or terra nullius), the theory went. Violence began almost instantly after the establishment of the settler-city Brisbane, which was formed into the hub of the Penal Colony, but it escalated once the settlements expanded, thereby disrupting traditional Indigenous food-gathering activities. Many tribes served in mounted police units that took part in the dispossession and oppression of other indigenous people, due to so-called "water wars" between the tribes from the Frontier Wars. This primarily began when large portions of Arundohn's population left the empire to settle in neutral land during a massive internal conflict that broke apart its colonies. The conflict stemmed from the rivalry between enterprise, the aristocracy, and the military over so-called "colonial rights." The aristocrats left to Brisbane, and the rest is history.
    • Canberra considers their figurehead Parlemour to be a "relic," a historical landmark isolated from society other than to be the "face" of the province. The Regent, who is selected by aristocrats (in this case, prison wardens), is the de facto governor; many citizens aren't even aware they even have a Parlemour. The Regent appoints a Ministry, who handle all executive and legislative power as a collective body. Their Viceroy, who is appointed by the Regent, is the head of government and the chair of the Ministry. It is an autonomous Penal Colony, where small-time settler-turned-wardens formed a large prison-based metropolis, meant to contain criminals, dissenters, extremists, debtors, traitors, and other convicts from anyplace that needed to dump the dregs of their societies. The idea was that they would arrange with the prosecutor to become indentured servants, and win their freedom after they fulfilled their contracts. The newly formed "warden class" almost instantly became a de facto government, and arranged their system to such a point that so they were staunchly independent, including colonial empires. No one country would have more convicts than the other, as one example, and they held strict guidelines for convict settlement/employment (or Blackbirding), because they never wanted to become "part" of anyone. It was admitted into the Regal Union by necessity, as a way to ensure that nobody in Gruessao would touch it again. The wardens' precincts are halfway between prisons, slums, and cities, with their own security forces in addition to their own business sectors largely tied to the prison industry; the wardens are oligarchs in all but name, and their Parlemour is a figurehead chosen by the wardens as a Puppet King.
    • Ceridwen selects their Viceroy after proclaiming their candidacy and passing a vetting process by the Parlemour; the Premier is therefore nominated by the Viceroy and approved by parliament. This is based off Wales; it is an eastern province with a strange forked/wedged formation and a neo-Celtic mythology centering on ancient kings and knights (the Welsh came up with King Arthur). It is friendliest to all non-human entities, including such mythological creatures as vampires and werewolves as well as dragons and elves.
    • Dharrume has a Viceroy that is itself a pseudo-monarch, who delegates legislative and executive power to the Premier. The Viceroy is a member of the family that owns the largest collection of militia movements in the province, which is a holdover from that family's ability to unify disparate communities through a centralized Home Guard made of up those militias. It is infamous for instituting a system of cultural genocide to the native tribes - they stole children from their Aboriginal families, and required to assimilate into a "more acceptable" society. The "Forgotten Peoples" were deprived of their ancestral languages, phased out of their native customs and traditions, "reeducated" in alien values, not allowed to intermingle with their own kind, exposed to physical leading to sexual abuse by staff members and other students, and forcibly enfranchised. This debacle, as well as their largely xenophobic immigration policy, is called the "One Home" ideal.
    • Edaho has a Viceroy appointed on the advice of the Premier, who must command a majority of seats in parliament. This is a mostly rural northern province, with the lowest population, a strong sense of environmental preservation, and a massive hand in agriculture, although it employs solar based technology and prefers to grow their food within factories that aren't depositing carbon. It has several fairy tales involving animalistic abominations called pseudo-Reichyrs, although many cases are unconfirmed.
    • Eireann has a Viceroy that is appointed by Parlemour for a fixed term, with the Premier as a separate branch meant to act as a check and balance of the seats of power; the Parlemour is neutral, the Viceroy represents the nobility, and the Premier is supposed to represent the people, who theoretically run the government. The bureaucrats in parliament are their own class, however, as their belief in "proper governance" clashes with the hereditary privilege of the noble houses, the "business acumen" and "industrial innovation" of entrepreneurs, and the affluence/opulence of the bourgeoisie (neither noblemen nor businessmen, but well-off upper class folks who got rich off the stock market).
    • Margera has a parliament that approves of a Viceroy after the Parlemour nominates them. It is infamous for its massive Black Market, which by some coincidence helps Canberra's prison industry. It is a major hub for the criminal underworld, with many posing as "legitimate businesses" while running large-scale heavily-armed criminal enterprises. Many would argue that it is a "mafia state," with syndicates and other criminal organizations de facto controlling governance.
    • Ottawa officially designates four separate branches of power: their Parlemour is the "cultural" branch, tasked with maintaining ceremony, upholding tradition, preserving the provincial history and environment, promoting culture, and representing general customs; as the most visible symbol of national identity. Their Regent is the "aristocratic" branch, representing the elites, answering to the elites, and governing the elites; the Regent rules in matters pertaining to the management, inspection, investigation, regulation, and punishment of all activities committed by the elites. The Viceroy, appointed by the Regent, represents the "one who reigns" (read: the Regent) as a check on the legislative branch, with the power to grant, reserve, or withhold Royal Assent (thereby approving or rejecting an Act of Parliament), in addition to being the provincial commander in chief. The Viceroy appoints supreme court justices, Senators, members of the Regent's Privy Council, and the Ministers. Royal Prerogative is split between the Regent and Viceroy, without the endorsement of parliament, but the Viceroy gets most of the power. This includes the power to declare war (for the Regent) and deploy the armed forces (for the Viceroy), ratify treaties (as long as it pertains only to the province), grant mercy in judicial proceedings, issue licenses, grant honors, and sanction aristocrats (for the Regent). The Premier is a non-aligned member of parliament appointed by the Viceroy after parliament nominates a candidate. The Premier is tasked with establishing and running a government while commanding the confidence of parliament. The Premier advices the Viceroy on who to select to the Ministry, guides legislation through parliament, and exercises significant control in the direction and implementation of policy in the province. A "Riding" is a constituency headed by a member of the provincial parliament, although each riding is self-sufficient enough to have a mayor.
    • Soudreau has a Viceroy that splits executive power with the more legislative Premier (think Cohabitation between a President and Prime Minister of different parties in France). In this case, the Viceroy nominates a Premier, who is then approved by parliament.
    • Ulster has a Viceroy elected by parliament, who rules based on the confidence of parliament. It was once conquered and partitioned by Eireann, its rival kingdom, which set up a system of designed to materially disadvantage the Ulsterist majority and Eireanner dissenters. It was divided into parishes, lands confiscated by Eireann, which changed the demographics by creating large communities of Eireanners surrounded by Ulsterist strangleholds. Home rule was a persistent question, leading to a conflict that began amid a campaign to end discrimination against the Ulsterist/nationalist minority by the Eireanner/unionist-dominated government and police force. Eventually, Ulster won back its sovereignty through the establishment of self-rule, which dissolved the Eireanner-preferred system, but kept the parish system for convenience.
    • Warringah is a deranged amalgamation of federal and royal systems of government. The Parlemour is the ceremonial and politically neutral head of state, whose only real authority includes receiving or ejecting diplomats. Instead, the Regent is tasked with all of the ceremonial duties: attestation (AKA verification and validation of documents); inauguration of provincial officials; proclamation of elections; convocation of the legislature; and promulgation of amendments of the constitution, laws, cabinet orders, and treaties. The Viceroy, appointed by the Regent, is in charge of nominations, appointments, inaugurations, recommendations of policy, and declarations (of war, of a state of emergency, of a crime war, whatever). The Premier is appointed by the Viceroy; the Premier implements policy while the Viceroy dictates it. As one of the larger provinces, Warringah is divided into states, each run by a Governor, who is elected by the people. The lieutenant governors are their deputies, who lead the State Senates. The Lieutenant Governors establish all special and standing committees, appoint all chairpersons and members, and assign all Senate legislation to the committee of their choice. The Lieutenant Governor decides all questions of parliamentary procedure in the Senate and has broad discretion in how they follow procedure. The Governors and Lieutenant Governors form an electoral college that picks the Governor-General, often based on seniority. The Governor General coordinates all policy pertaining to the states alongside the Governors and Lieutenant Governors, keeping the boroughs distinct from the provincial government and establishing the Governor-General as an executive authority.
• Demographics: Numbering at a grand total of 800 million, the Regal Union consists of large clusters of humans, who are treated as second class citizens since the majority of authority is concentrated on the Aura User upper class. Indentured servitude is very common, especially for the noble houses.
• Culture: For the most part, the Regal Union of Gruessao is a meritocratic society... limited to the Aura User minority. Humans remain citizens, but are barred from higher office or privilege if they lack Aura. The Parlemours have fostered a mindset that says Aura is a natural evolution of the human body and mind, and those who lack Aura deserve to be crushed by a boot. Gruessao puts extra emphasis on growing your family if you have what they call the "Aura gene," and large families are allowed more privileges, influence, and general overreach based on the (often mistaken) belief that Aura "enlightens" you. The Commissioner is a strange amalgamation of a military commander, a bureaucrat, a technocrat, and a Frontline General, because of the relatively meritocratic Martial Services (well, meritocratic as long as they think you have Aura).
• Military: The Martial Service (hehe) is the armed forces of the Regal Union, managed by a meritocratic hierarchy with the Commissioner at the top. Martial Service consists of three branches: Mortimers, who make up the majority of infantry; Armatures, who make up security throughout all of Gruessao; Curators, who are in charge of law enforcement; and Didacts, the elite warrior-commanders, who consist entirely of Aura Users.
• Foreign Affairs: Largely neutral. The Regal Union of Gruessao is an insular nation, focused mostly on internal affairs, although the Parlemours view most of the rest of the world as "heretics" who have "perverted" the "essence" of Aura. They vehemently oppose Skuurnur, however, but they are themselves divided on how to deal with Skuurnur's Cullivers in general.
• Role: They represent a more traditional, outdated, fundamentalist aspect of what it means to be an Aura User, and as a far more systematic form of discrimination against normal humans.

edited 28th Sep '15 1:41:53 PM by Serocco

This is for the Nation ENIGMA, who are in a cold war against Zion. They're intended to be a terrifying dystopia.

History: A long time ago, a princess named Ira Mankato began worshiping the God of Evil in this setting. Her father, horrified by this, knew he could never let her take the throne. However, he did not have the heart to kill his daughter. So, he locked her up in a tower, protected by an Archangel.

5 years later, said God of Evil (his name is Apollyon) spoke to a poor, desperate farmer boy named Adrian Delmore. He gave him this offer: "Become my hand, and I shall give you my claws. Follow me, and I shall give you the world". Delmore took him up on the offer. He was given a sword filled with demonic power. He sent the boy out on a 5 year journey, training him to become both a fierce, merciless warrior and the paragon of the ideals darkness. After he became a man, Delmore climbed the tower, killed the king, his guards, and the Archangel, and freeing Mankato. The two got married, were bestowed with immortality by their patron deity (on the caveat they continue to serve him), and have been spreading chaos and darkness throughout the world ever since. Enigma is now about 500 years old.

Culture: Their cultural norms are rather strange, to the point of almost being Good Is Bad And Bad Is Good. For example, theft is considered "forced charity". Running around the streets naked would be considered "expressing yourself". Someone who complains about either would be considered greedy or prudish. They do have some standards, though. Even their patron deity, the Satanic Archetype, Would Not Hurt A Child (though he wouldn't go very far to protect them. It's also not particularly for moral reasons).

Also notably, their society has a mentality of "Dark Is Not Evil". Though it's ultimately a subversion in that, they're the bad guys. Light is considered harsh and judgmental in their society. Darkness is associated with freedom and equality ("all equal in darkness" is their slogan).

Military: They have no police in their society. Law is upheld by vigilante mobs and hired hitmen. Their military is comprised mostly of conscripts forced by “Loyalty Officers” to fight their enemies. While their military is very large, they cannot afford to keep them properly equipped, leading them to adopt a doctrine of We Have Reserves. Not every soldier is given a gun. Their strategy is to have everyone run out and be human shields for each other. If a guy with a gun dies, a guy without a gun will pick it up. Meanwhile, Loyalty Officer stay behind them and snipe any deserters. Loyalty officers themselves wear black trenchcoats, gasmasks, and Nazi-esque helmets with spikes on them. Also in their military are necromancers, who summon the undead. Also the poor guys who get shot make for great zombies. The most powerful of their military forces are the Nephilim, who are the State Sec of ENIGMA. They’re half-undead cyborgs who protect ENIGMA’s Capital City. The Nephilim have no will of their own, and are under the complete control of Apollyon.

Society: Nobody in their society truly owns property. In fact, they've almost done away with the concept of money. Instead of money, people are given "work points", which are given to them by their "Regional" (mayor, basically). All property is rented from their local rental station. This property is officially owned by the public. It's like a library: if you need say, a hoe, you rent it like a library book, and return it later.

Their religion does in fact, understand that their deity is evil. Their religion can be considered organized Nay-Theism. Their deity is willing to join them in a Rage Against the Heavens, and believe that he can be useful to them. Thus, they work with him. Regionals are elected officials in charge of each city. However, in order to vote, a person must receive a “loyalty brand”. They receive a mark on their forehead which simultaneously allows you to vote, but also makes you legally property of the state. A good chunk of their economy is based on selling Fantastic Drugs to drug cartels that only they know how to create (it actually requires dark magic to create them, meaning ENIGMA cultists are a necessary part of this process). This means that a lot of gangs are in their pocket.

Foreign Relations: They aren't very popular, particularly because of the fact that they fund organized crime throughout the world. However, they do have supporters among certain groups that dislike Zion and want to "stick it to the man". Also, a few groups officially support them, out of fear of being attacked. Zion refuses to acknowledge their sovereignty, at request of their own patron diety. However, Zion is too spread out to fight ENIGMA, and ENIGMA is under equipped. They’re locked in a cold war, both racing to develop a military capable of fighting the other. This is not to say border skirmishes don’t happen, though.

edited 25th Apr '15 12:06:03 AM by Protagonist506

Oy, you gotta comment on a previous nation before talking about your own.

Well, first thing I notice about the Greussao is that it seems magocratic to the extreme (I equate Aura power to magic, so if that's inaccurate in this case, my apology.) I like magocracy, so by default I like the RU for that aspect, even if you say it leans more on the meritocracy side (since to have such merit one muset have the gift of Aura anyway.)

Overall, I get the 'nobility of old' feel out of the RU. As in, if I have no idea what the other nations in the setting are up to, I'd instantly expect the RU to be the old-timer faction in for a lot of internal conflict that'd stem from the unsatisfied common people living in it and the fact that some of their core values simply don't work anymore. I don't know if that's the case here, but it's certainly the vibe I get. It's nice that the RU is neutral as well, so it isn't instantly recognized as the evil home of the setting or the reverse.

So, about that sacred kingdom from my current primary project...

Full Title: The Sacred Kingdom of Endeil

History: Formerly the mighty Endeil Empire, ruling over nearly the entirety of the Erits continent, Endeil collapsed when Dissonance came. Nearly half its population killed, and half its cities devastated by this reality warping 'plague', the Empire met its end at the hands of Mirelle Jenash’s Redemption Rebellion. The last emperor of Endeil, Xerxes Arkios, was executed for his crime against the divine and humanity, which, as most believe, invited the wrath of the Angels and Dissonance that followed, and his legacy, the Empire, was torn to pieces. When the old Endeil was reborn, it took to calling itself the Sacred Kingdom of Endeil in an attempt to redeem its blasphemous way, with Mirelle Jenash, the one woman named the avatar of the Seraph Larane, leading it as the Holy Queen of the Eagle Throne. Seven centuries since, the Sacred Kingdom of Endeil is still led by a daughter of the Jenash legacy, and is slowly recovering from its first death. Though it lost much of its old territory, with a good number of cities once under it now their own nations, Endeil still remains among the most powerful players on Erits.

Government: The Kingdom of Endeil is an absolute autocracy. Separated into four major institutions, called the Four Sacred Beasts, and ten major cities, the Divine Queen of the Eagle Throne holds the power over absolutely anyone in the entirety of the government. The Archduke, the Queen's own rotal consort, also holds this authority (granted by the queen herself, of course,) but his tends to be a bit downgraded as directives coming from the Archduke must still be subjected to the approval of the three remaining Beasts. In practice, however, it's the Four Sacred Beasts who run the kingdom, as the Queen, like those before her, tends to stay far and away from the political scene, being in truth largely a religious figurehead for the people to worship.

• The Eagle Throne - The Queen's own seat of power. The Eagle Throne has no clear, specific responsibility in and of itself, instead acting as the platform for the Queen and the Archduke in all executive tasks. Again, largely inconsequential in practice, as it doesn't act much on its own, aside from monitoring the other three Beasts' operation.
• The Council of Foxes - The kingdom's administrative center. The Council of Foxes oversee all things from citizenary management, railway establishment and maintenance, public health, trade, to the kingdom's frontier reclamation effort, though the last one is as a joint effort with the Lions Regimen. It is through the Council that the ten cities' Lord Governers are elected, for one. Commonly known to be the most crooked of all the institutions, this is where the ambitious and the unsavory mostly end up in. Also home to the Mediators, the kingdom's emissaries and all-purpose problem solvers.
• The Lions Regimen - The kingdom's judiciary and military authority. The Lions Regimen undertake both peacekeeping inside Endeil's boundary and warwaging outside, as well as magic usage control and mage registration. Also part of the frontier reclamation effort.
• The Cadre of Swans - Easily Endeil's most flexible and obsucre institutions, the Cadre of Swans is basically a secret police organization. Its duty is to monitor the kingdom's internal affair looking for suspicious individuals, and to act as the intelligence centre. Small in number, the Cadre's members are almost exclusively elites recruited from the Council or the Regimen. Most see it as only second to the Eagle Throne in term of authority, adn those of the Foxes and the Lions usually have a strong dislike for the Swan Knights.

Demographics: Roughly around 17 millions population, not counting those in the Endeil-affiliated frontier towns, all humans. Of this number, around 800,000 are registered mages, but going by the statistic, it's believed that Endeil actually houses at least 1,400,000 magically gifted individuals. The population is most concentrated in the Capital of Sceinder.

Culture: Back in its Empire day, Endeil was full-on magocratic. The nobility comprised entirely of magic users and a person's worth was down to his magical affinity. To this day, the residue of the concept still lingers, which is rather strange considering that magic was widely thought to be the main reason Dissonance happened and for a time mages, the few that survived the catastrophe anyway, were loathed and feared by the devout citizens of the new kingdom. People with magical affinity have a special place in Endeil these days, being simultaneously viewed both with awe and suspicion. They mostly work as doctors, architects, artificers, engineers, or enlist in the Regimen and serve as the glamorous Warmages; the major part of Endeil's elites, in other words. Still, laws governing magic and mages are strict and harsh, and the Regimen has its own department dedicated to dealing with mages who mishandle their power. There's also an underground movement opposing mages, but it's a lot less active these days with how the issues with mages/people becoming less prevalent.

A whole lot of people still in power in Endeil hail from long lines of nobility, often those of the devouts who supported Mirelle Jenash's cause in her Redemption Rebellion. The Ten Dukes, the various Counts and Viscounts, the knights: nearly all of them can trace their ancestry back te Jenash's underlings. Of course, to assume they're all as devout as their ancestors would be inaccurate; the overwhelming majority of the nobles are self serving pricks who enjoy the luxurious lifestyle at the cost of the common people's well being. Those with wealth and power yet don't have noble origins exist as well, though they are mostly merchants and criminals. Criminals, specifically, seem to prosper in some parts of Endeil, such as in the City of Portra. Regardless, the rich of Endeil mostly care only about themselves, and are addicted to luxuries and prestiges, at the cost of everyone else's livelihood.

The social structure, while loose, is a bit like that of an early industrial country, but heavily classism. A common man may find work in the various factories or plantations, or farms even, that litter all accross Endeil. If he's lucky he may even end up working for one of the four Beasts, but unless he's a talented mage or really knows how to play the game he can most certainly forget about becoming anything but a common man. Even then, mages not of the nobility line still find a hard time to breach into the noble caste.

As the Sacred Kingdom, Endeil's official stance is that it endorse the worship of the Angels, or as they frequently call it 'the Celestial Empire'. The majority of Endeil's denizen worships Larane, the Lady of Mercy, but the other five Seraphs have followers here as well. All in all, Endeil is probably the most 'religious' nation on Erits.

Military: Endeil's military might is in the form of the Lions Regimen. On top of being a judicial authority, the Regimen oversees all things military and peacekeeping.

• Civil Order Office - Endeil's police department. This the law enforcers of the kingdom, and most of the time it's also the Regimen's face, for good or ill.
• Lions Battalion - Endeil's primary force when it comes to external conflics. It has two primary duties: First is to protect Endeil from the other nations such as the Vinlan Imperia or the Kingdom of Ayregard, and second is to ensure Endeil's foothold in the frontier, Farsun. For the latter, it has a dedicated subsidiary for that, as well as general subunits for specialised tasks.
• The Frontier Watch - The Battalion's subunit operating in the frontier Farsun. Originally an extension of the Stalkers, the Frontier Watch grows to become a unit of its own and serve as the primary armed force for the kingdom's establishments in the frontier. As of late, the Watch has become one of the most important and active unit in the Battalion, even if the nobles are loath to have anything to do with it.
• The Verena Warmages - The Battalion's mages trained to utilise their power the in battlefield. These are truly the Battalion's elites, feared by all nations of Erits.
• The New Wichdale Stalkers - A very specific unit stationed at New Wichdale, Endeil's special administrative city. The Stalkers specialise in beast and mutant hunting, both of which are abundant in the exclusion zone 'the Lost'. As New Wichdale is Endeil's primary defence against the beast threat, the Stalkers are usually chosen from highly experienced operatives, and are usually granted some of the most advanced equipment, along with the most lucrtive salary.

Foreign Affairs: Endeil is a passive-aggressive nation, in a manner of speaking. It's been waging an on-and-off war with the Vinlan Imperia and Ayregard to the south for a few hundred years now, in an effort to 'reclaim' the old Empire's territory. Nowaday the official stance seems to be neutral towards the other nations, but in reality the kingdom is now focussing its resources on claiming most of the recently habitable Farsun frontier, which is far more important, considering all the valuable artifacts and Seraphs-know-what to be unearthed in the vast frontier. Also, as it is, Endeil's internal politic is too messed up for it to go all out against any of its rival nation at the moment.

Role: Endeil and the Farsun frontier are where most of the story happens. Endeil is also easily the most advanced and influential nation on the continent, and is the one with the 'divine' theme, despite being plagued with internal conflicts and outrageously hedonistic ruling class.

edited 29th Apr '15 10:41:00 AM by arreimil

Ah, another magocracy. Yours seems to be even more so at times, as doctors, engineers, and presumably other public workers are still mages. Greussao is like an Eviler than Thou version - nice job.

• Full Title: Dominion of Rhydderch (another Eclipse concept).
• History: Rhydderch was populated by sparsely populated democratic, semi-military communities of a cadre of Aura Users called Aereocs, who were as close to a Proud Warrior Race as can be. These communities were united by a woman known as the Dominar, who expanded the newly founded nation's territory, stratified its governmental structure, and oversaw its rapid industrialization. She was regarded as the most powerful Aereoc, and as Asskicking Equals Authority, she was generally considered The Leader of the cadre. While she went missing, she helped set up a society where the Dominion would survive without her, and all other successors adopted her moniker as the official title for the strongest Aereoc in the Dominion.
• Government: The Dominion of Rhydderch is an aristocratic parliamentary democracy with an elective absolute monarchy holding ultimate authority. It is a meritocratic society, measured by your power level as an Aura User. Its citizens are trained, from birth, to elevate their skills as fighters above that of anyone else in the world, and the highest ranking citizens are Patricians; very powerful and experienced warriors who are renowned for their community service. Patricians make up the second highest level of authority in the Dominion, after the Dominar. Below them is the Assembly, who pass and enforce laws at the leisure of the Patricians and Dominar. Any citizen may run for office as long as they've reached a certain age of experience within society. The head of state, supreme commander, and chief executive (read: Primarch) is the Dominar, who is elected by the Patricians among the Patricians; the current Dominar is Mathlan Varesko.
• Demographics: The Dominion of Rhydderch consists of over 4 million people, all of whom are Aereocs; it is one of the few true homogenous civilizations in Earth. Its people largely have Grecko-Roman influences, at least according to their general attire and architecture.
• Military: As a stratocracy, every single member of the Dominion of Rhydderch is a capable, battle-hardened warrior, with the Patricians serving as Frontline General types and the Dominar being their commander in chief.
• Culture and Society: Rhydderch is an amalgamation of otherwise separate nation-states in real life. It is an industrialized, stratocratic, parliamentary empire with an absolute monarchy, similar to Imperial Japan, organized as a federation of aristocratic constituent territories run by 'royal' (read: powerful military clans) families. It has a military ruler holding absolute power, who entrusts power to individuals and institutions who act in their name, by their orders, and within the limits laid down for them by law. Despite its imperial and militarist reputation, Rhydderch is a meritocratic society, where every citizen is taught to hold a strong sense of civic duty as well as familial connection. Honor, art, and skill are important in Rhydderch, and "prestige" is huge for your reputation and experience as a citizen. They espouse a form of paternalism, however, believing they are the only ones capable of adequately winning a war, which many others find excessively arrogant.
• Foreign Affairs: There is lingering animosity between themselves and other Aura User cadres due to differing lifestyles and philosophies; the Dominion is one of the only homogenous Aura User nation-states. Nevertheless, Rhydderch is mostly insular and neutral, with a particular distaste and begrudging respect toward Skuurnur (who similarly see themselves as the gatekeepers of the Balance of Power).
• Role: Rhydderch is the location of one of the oldest Aura User cadres in history; they were the ones largely responsible for driving out other non-human species (think dragons, vampires, werewolves, witches, elves) away from the human world and back into their native realms. Their formulation as a nation-state was copied by many others, so if one group could be said to have influenced the current geopolitical mash-up of Aura Users controlling Earth, look no further than Rhydderch. In fact, the word "Primarch" was originally a nickname given to the Dominar. Now, it is the international name for an Aura User who runs a nation everywhere else in the world.

edited 11th Jun '15 7:09:03 PM by Serocco

That sounds very similar to Dave Sim's "Cirinist" society, in "Cerebus the Aarkvark", except that the Cirinists were hardcore matriarchs. Have you read it?

Otherwise, it seems reasonably well thought out. But how do they keep the ordinary citizens happy and non-rebellious?

I have never seen that, actually. I never knew any comparison could be made there.

It's basically like the Klingons or Krogan. They are warriors, and they live for a challenge, despite not being Blood Knight types. It's really all about being able to survive and progress their arsenal.

I'm just thinking about Tsarist Russia and all the problems they had- you know, that little thing with Lenin and company.

What sorta problems do you see in Rhydderch, then?

Aristocracies tend not to be very innovative in an economic sense- so any nearby more capitalistic societies will try to take advantage by capturing their markets- and they will of course try to push back. That's basically what caused Japan to attack the US.

Rhydderch worries less about economic development and more about social stability. They're a very small city-state compared to their compatriots, but nobody wants to fight them, sorta like Sparta.

A 400 million person city-state? That's some city.