For a list of bad laconics, see Sandbox.Pages Needing Better Laconics.
For generally accepted guidelines for laconics, see Sandbox.Laconic Wiki Template.
Today I found out an interesting fact from troper Ironeye:
Don't ever make the mistake of using the Laconic version as the canonical trope meaning—the laconics are often written by people who don't actually understand the drop. In this case, the laconic only corresponds to one possible cause of Darkness-Induced Audience Apathy.
The Laconic Description for DIAA states as follows:
The thing is, these descriptions are supposed to make it easier to understand what the page is about. If they can't be accurate as well as short and sweet, then there's a problem.
So for starters, what would be a better description for DIAA?
Edited by MacronNotes on Jan 29th 2023 at 6:23:45 AM
Laconic.Paint The Town Red, since I'm cleaning the Film:
- '''The Game''': Voxel ''Film/RoadHouse'', with extra {{Gorn}}.
Are we sure it's not just the "dumb person" trope? I've been guilty of using it as that myself, I think. Or just wanting to.
Edited by Malady on Jul 20th 2022 at 8:46:08 AM
Disambig Needed: Help with those issues! tvtropes.org/pmwiki/posts.php?discussion=13324299140A37493800&page=24#comment-576For Jerkass Gods, the main page states it applies to "all of life". Also, there are works that lack humans.
I'm using the language of the trope description, which talks in terms of "humans". If there's a consensus for using (say) "mortals", I'll change it, but the same argument could be used to claim "there are works that include immortals who are also subject to the gods". This is why I stuck to the language the trope description uses.
The trope description also does not state it applies to all of life, it says that perhaps the trope is play because the gods apply it to all of life. The point of the trope, which it keeps coming back to in its examples, is how they treat humans (or whatever non-human equivalent a work might be using).
In Little Black Dress, trim "a person's" to "someone's" or "somebody's".
For Magic Hair, I'd just trim "A character's" to "Somebody's" or "Someone's".
There is so little character length difference between these suggestions ("a person's" and "somebody's" are even the same length), that this isn't trimming. As a result, I've used the suggestion where I think it improves sentence flow, but have not applied it universally.
I didn't say anything about goodness. "Goodness" and "wholesome" do not mean the same thing, and the word "wholesome" does cover pretty much everything the description covers (well-being (be it physical, emotional or moral), virtuous, pure, innocent, uncorrupted, healthy, altruistic, and so on).
I've added in "devices" to the laconic as suggested.
I've trimmed as suggested.
Rewritten Laconics:
- Laconic.Jerkass Gods
Gods that have such little regard for the value of human life that they will use or discard humanity as they desire.
- Laconic.Little Black Dress
The simplicity of a person's black dress creates a powerful, stylish impression that would look good in any fashion era.
- Laconic.Magic Hair
A person's hair possesses magical properties or abilities.
- Laconic.Nature Lover
Someone's love of nature reflects their wholesome personality.
- Laconic.The Power Of The Sun
A person or device has the ability to either harness or replicate the sun's power and properties.
- Laconic.Would Harm A Senior
Something about a person makes them capable of harming the elderly.
I recall the main page saying the character doesn't have to be unintelligent in other areas. I think your other suggestion could use more specific details about the storyline. I hope this comment helps.
The main page for Jerkass Gods states, "Perhaps they view all of life as a cosmic game," and I meant trimming as in using less words. For Nature Lover, you used "wholesome", which in this sense is a synonym for "good". Additionally, the main page says, "Usually a sign of goodness, indicating a wholesome character uncorrupted by secularism.". This is why I used the term "goodness".
- I'll leave the video game to be changed by someone more knowledgable or wiling.
But I took a look, how about something like:
"Dealing Bloody Hilarious violence, everywhere in town."
I assume.
...
So, you're saying that "often" means that being intelligent elsewhere's not a requirement, so being total dumb is still a valid example? If so, okay.
Edited by Malady on Jul 21st 2022 at 8:38:06 AM
Disambig Needed: Help with those issues! tvtropes.org/pmwiki/posts.php?discussion=13324299140A37493800&page=24#comment-576Ok, I understand. And, to answer your question, being completely unintelligent is a valid example just as long as there's evidence the character is academically incompetent.
- Should we change the Video Game Laconic even though neither of us, presumably, have played it?
Unless you've been looking at Let's Plays and trailers in your time.
Disambig Needed: Help with those issues! tvtropes.org/pmwiki/posts.php?discussion=13324299140A37493800&page=24#comment-576Laconic.Linear Warriors Quadratic Wizards is fine but it relies on being familiar with other tropes.
Edited by TheLivingDrawing on Jul 25th 2022 at 3:00:48 PM
Why waste time when you can see the last sunset last?edit: i'll move this to the uncanny valley TRS thread for now, since it seems to be an issue more suited for that
Edited by NoUsername on Jul 25th 2022 at 4:38:25 AM
I dont like this laconic of Tokyo Xanadu
Basically, The Legend of Heroes: Trails of Cold Steel but with a story that was lifted wholesale from a Persona game and with battle mechanics lifted from Ys (and Ni no Kuni II: Revenant Kingdom)
Open to any alternatives
She/Her | Currently cleaning N/A/Oxyrhynchus recently unilaterally overhauled the laconic for Together We Are X. It used to be "The individual members of your band introducing themselves, and then saying "Together, we are..." whatever your band name happens to be.", which was already fine. Revert?
SoundCloudYeah, I don't like the new laconic at all.
135 - 169 - 273 - 191 - 188 - 230 - 300Another round of "let's see if my version is an improvement". I don't expect all of these be great on the first try.
- Laconic.Gravity Is A Harsh Mistress (Done)
Non-informative and rude?
- Laconic.Carrion (Done)
- Laconic.Bug Fables (Done)
Recycled In Space. Even if it's inspired by Paper Mario, not everyone has played it.
- Laconic.Bayonetta (Done)
- Laconic.Axiom Verge (Done)
- Laconic.ARK Survival Evolved (Done)
- Laconic.Ajin (Done)
Don't think it's informative enough. To start with, the main cast involves more than two people.
- Laconic.System Shock (Done)
What Chained Sinkholes combo is it, 8? Also doesn't explain what it's even about.
- Laconic.Fire Emblem Heroes (Done)
Self-admitted JustForFun.Recycled In Space. The Marth reference can stay because it a TVT meme of sorts.
Edited by Amonimus on Aug 4th 2022 at 11:14:36 AM
TroperWall / WikiMagic Cleanuplooks good
Also, I got no feedback on this one, so I’m gonna bump it
Tokyo Xanadu Needs some improvement:
(Basically, The Legend of Heroes: Trails of Cold Steel but with a story that was lifted wholesale from a Persona game and with battle mechanics lifted from Ys (and Ni no Kuni II: Revenant Kingdom))
She/Her | Currently cleaning N/AI personally would change "a character's" to "someone's", though everything else looks good imo.
How about something like this:
Laconic.She Ra And The Princesses Of Power is doing the double Laconic thing. I personally feel we should keep the first one and cut the second. How do you all feel? For the record, this is what it looks like:
RE: Tokyo Xanadu, yeah, That looks good, I’ll replace it with that.
She/Her | Currently cleaning N/AThanks. Also, which of those She-Ra descriptions do you think should stay?
I think the first imo
She/Her | Currently cleaning N/AI agree and thanks for your input.
Yes, I do understand what the pages say, and what you meant by "trimming".
Regarding Jerkass Gods, I will refer you back to my previous post regarding the trope's use of "all life"; you've latched onto something as a fixed aspect of the trope when it's only a "perhaps" — one suggestion in a list of several possible reasons for why the trope might be in play. I will say that I think a couple of your trimming suggestions are distinctions without a difference, which is why I mentioned character length ("a person's" to "somebody's", for example, is fairly meaningless in terms of trimming). Like I said, I've made the trimming changes where there is a material improvement in doing so.
For Laconic.Nature Lover, how about this?
Edited by Wyldchyld on Aug 3rd 2022 at 6:17:40 AM
If my post doesn't mention a giant flying sperm whale with oversized teeth and lionfish fins for flippers, it just isn't worth reading.Yeah, I believe they're pretty good suggestions.
EDIT: About the nitpicking, I'm sorry if I was being harsh then, by the way.
Edited by RandomTroper123 on Aug 3rd 2022 at 7:55:00 AM
I can live with harsh. And I do proof-reading sometimes in my day job, so I don't take it personally and don't think you're being harsh. But I do just need to be able to understand the reasons for the changes. I didn't really understand some of your suggested changes.
I'm willing to take suggested rewrites on the Jerkass Gods. Do you have a sentence in mind that could improve the laconic? That might help me see what you're thinking of or have in mind.
Edited by Wyldchyld on Aug 3rd 2022 at 6:21:31 AM
If my post doesn't mention a giant flying sperm whale with oversized teeth and lionfish fins for flippers, it just isn't worth reading.Ok, that's good. I actually think we should keep your suggestion for Jerkass Gods mostly the same, just change "human life" to just "life" and replace "humanity" with "it". I'm partly doing this because some works don't have humans at all. Does that suggestion sound fine to you?
Yes, that change makes sense to me.
If my post doesn't mention a giant flying sperm whale with oversized teeth and lionfish fins for flippers, it just isn't worth reading.Here are some works that need some laconic changes (I posted these in the past, but didn’t got proper feedback)
BlazBlue (An All-Blue Entry)
Xenogears (Doesn’t actually explain what is, and requires one to know all the subjects in question)
- Sigmund Freud has sex with the Holy Bible while Neon Genesis Evangelion operates the camera and Mobile Fighter G Gundam watches.
They look good to me, though I'm unfamiliar with the works.