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Wrestling / Kris Statlander

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"I am your leader."

Kris Statlander is an American professional wrestler from West Islip, NY as "The Galaxy's Greatest Alien".

She debuted in 2017 after training under Pat Buck at the Create A Pro Wrestling Academy. She has competed for Beyond Wrestling, Women's Wrestling Revolution, Victory Pro Wrestling, WSU, New York Wrestling Connection, Limitless Wrestling, SHIMMER, Ring of Honor, WWE and many other promotions, now currently calling All Elite Wrestling home.

She is a former 2x VPW Women's Champion, a former NYWC Starlet Champion, a former Champion and the WSU Spirit Champion. On May 28, 2023, she defeated Jade Cargill to become the second AEW TBS Champion. She later lost the title to Julia Hart on November 18, 2023.

"The Galaxy's Greatest Tropes":

  • Aliens Are Bastards: If she's a heel.
  • Amazonian Beauty: Kris is kind of an understated example here. She's not exceptionally ripped or jacked, she just looks solid as a brick. What gets pointed out by the commentators more than her looks or physique though (and they do often compliment both) is her strength - she's even stronger than she looks, and can do strength spots such as a fireman's carry on two other wrestlers at the same time that very few other women, regardless of physique, can pull off.
  • Beat Them at Their Own Game: While Priscilla Kelly was doing her gross-out gimmick, one of her schticks was to stick her hands down her tights before locking up to try and squick her opponents. Kris at first didn't understand. Then she licked her palms and gave herself a good rummage (and got a "You sick fuck" chant to boot). Priscilla was horrified and refused the ensuing lockup.
  • Blood Knight: Maxwell Jacob Friedman threw out a challenge to anyone in the locker room at Beyond Wrestling's Heavy Lies the Crown. Kris answered. He initially dismissed her, saying "Aliens aren't real, and neither are women who can beat MJF". He finally accepted the match, which Kris won.
  • The Cameo: The Brooklyn Belles ("Karissa" [Rivera] and "Kristen") lost to the IIconics (Billie Kay and Peyton Royce) on the April 9, 2019 episode of WWE SmackDown.
  • Catchphrase: "I am/will be your leader" is a recurring phrase of hers.
  • Cloudcuckoolander: Played for comedy - as an alien from outer space there are hyoo-man customs and things that she just doesn't understand. Like noses. As a face it's played for humor and occasional mind games. As a heel, the dangerous unpredictability is played up.
  • Crowd Chant: "Kris Stat! Kris Stat! Kris Stat!"
  • Dark Is Not Evil: Returned to AEW after her injury with a new mostly black attire and a more fiery attitude, causing a lot of fans to expect a heel turn. However, she stayed face.
  • David Versus Goliath: Fell victim to this when the 5'1 Angel Rose defeated her at QOC 27.
  • Defeating the Undefeatable: She has been on both ends of this trope in AEW.
    • On the receiving end: When she received a title shot against AEW Women's Champion Britt Baker, Kris was undefeated at 25-0 and was billed as Baker's greatest challenge to date. Baker did win in the end, but it took a lot of cheating and three finishers, and even then Kris passed out to Baker's Lockjaw rather than tap.
    • On the giving end: She made a surprise return at Double or Nothing 2023, defeating TBS Champion, Jade Cargill in an impromptu title match after she was already exhausted from her match against Taya Valkyrie, handing Jade her first singles loss and shattering her 60-0 undefeated streak. Later during the September 15, 2023 episode of Rampage, Kris had a rematch against Jade, once again defeating her, resulting in Jade Cargill's first ever clean defeat.
    • On the giving end again when she defeated Julia Hart at WrestleDream 2023, Julia having been on an undefeated streak prior since joining House of Black.
  • Facial Markings: She's been known to paint her face with different patterns. In AEW her chosen color has been sea green.
  • Finishing Move: At first it was an axe kick. She later started using "The Big Bang Theory" - a tombstone piledriver variant where she tucks the opponent's thighs under her arms. After shedding the alien gimmick, it was renamed "Wednesday/Friday/Saturday/Sunday Night Fever" depending on the show she appears on.
  • Genius Ditz: In AEW, and particularly on Being the Elite, she's portrayed as an incredibly skilled and talented wrestler who (perhaps due to her gimmick of being a Human Alien) has no idea how to do simple things like sit in a chair or tie shoes.
  • Heel–Face Revolving Door: During her time on the indies she would often be working face in one promotion and heel in another promotion at the same time.
  • Human Aliens: Her main gimmick was that she was an alien.
  • Like a Son to Me: Before her match with her trainer "The Buzzkiller" Pat Buck at LW Hooked On A Friedman, he said that if he ever had a daughter, he'd want her to turn out like Kris. This was followed by an inversion of Turned Against Their Masters, since Buck told her to lie down for him. The match started with Kris on the mat and Buck went for the pin, but Kris countered with an inside cradle for two.
  • Parts Unknown: "The Andromeda Galaxy". For her Beyond Treasure Hunt semi-final match with Jordynne Grace, the announcer added, "Recently escaped from Area 51."
  • Puny Earthlings: If she's a heel, she'll present herself as superior to humans. During her match with Delmi Exo at LW Hollis Pirate Fest 2018, she yelled "Die human!" while hitting her Scissors Kick. Ironically, Delmi's Red Baron is "The Galaxy DelmiGod" and she has been billed from "The Planet of Exo" as part of Team Sea Stars with her Real Life sister "Poseidon's Siren" Ashley Vox.
  • The Quiet One: Oftentimes, particularly in AEW, she prefers to communicate via gestures rather than words.
  • The Smurfette Principle: The only girl within the Best Friends.
  • Red Baron:
    • "The Galaxy's Greatest Alien" since her debut, with "The Dark Alien" as her variant until 2022.
    • "More Than a Woman" after her repackaging.
  • Retool: Starting in 2022, Kris Statlander is no longer depicted on-screen as an alien, having changed her presentation and is now billed from Long Island, New York. She cites the following:
    Kris Statlander: "I was never really being fully taken seriously. Too fun, too lovable, I guess, too goofy and easygoing."
  • Rule of Funny: Her alien mind powers, as seen in this match.
  • Sesquipedalian Smith: Inverted; she's Kris (common name) Statlander (not at all common).
  • Ship Tease: With Orange Cassidy, of all people, in AEW.
  • Shoo Out the Clowns: Even before her June 2020 injury, Kris had been downplaying the alien gimmick during her AEW run, eventually reducing it to just a 'boop'note  early in the match. After returning and briefly using "The Dark Alien" as a Red Baron, she finally completely dropped the alien gimmick.
  • Spell My Name With An S: Her last name can be found spelled as Statlander or Stadtlander.
  • Statuesque Stunner: She's 175 cm (5'9 ½) tall.
  • Ur-Example: She is the first female graduate of the Create A Pro Wrestling Academy.