An interactive webcomic made by Wolfcat on the Within Hubris forums (formerly the hub of the Ben Drowned community) that can be read here if you can sift through all the additional banter and awful In Jokes. As of this writing it has one arc and one intermission complete, with a second arc in progress.
Paul Rudd lives and works on the 25th floor of Meatouchers, Inc., and has for 10 years without ever leaving. One day, the local fuckboy Crash bursts into his work area, shouting "BEAT MY MEAT" and attempting to allure him with her ass. Paul, having too high a bum resistance to be turned on, instead mistakes this for an invitation to spar using meat products and knocks her out cold. After dicking around and being called back to work, Paul sends her up a chute to the next floor, only to regret it with the realization of how lonely his job is.
In a moment of need, he prays to the ancient deities Beerd and Cheezus (sic). For his prayers, he receives the Key to the Arg, which can unlock anything (he promptly throws it out) and the Bionic Brottknocker, which can open any door that belongs to a weenie. With it, he opens the previously locked door of what should have been his bedroom, and finds a number of ponies, alongside a Bigger on the Inside outhouse belonging to some strange hooded douchebag.
Paul steals the outhouse and finds his way to a land filled with new faces, adventure, and many oddities, and learns the true meaning of friendship what is this some children's cartoon.
Unfortunately, Weenie-Licked was cancelled in April of 2016. But perhaps, somewhere, somewhen, somehow, we'll see Paul Rudd again.
The comic has won the Cac Award for Best Thread on the Within Hubris forums.
- Approval of God: Paul has an actual account on Within Hubris (as well as a skype). The author has stated enjoyment of this and proclaimed the accounts canon, despite them being someone else's.
- Artifact of Doom: Majora's Mask. There's a reason there's a huge metal pony capable of destroying the entire castle guarding it. Naturally, Paul is sent to retrieve it.
- Artistic License Physics: Inevitable when the Sun is a character with autonomy all his own.
- Bellisario's Maxim: Invoked with some of the more bizarre parts of the comic, eg. Dawn taking a space shit.You can't imagine how [Zelenal's diary] would be enough paper. Then again, you can't imagine how a sun even shits in the first place. You try not to think about it.
- Bigger on the Inside: The SHARDIS, as part of an obvious Shout-Out.
- Blank Slate: Rosey, being created with no personality but Paul's dream girl, lacks any personal opinions or attributes, and in short order is taunted for being an Empty Shell.
- Blind Shoulder Toss: Paul, upon receiving the Key to the Arg.
- Brick Joke: Paul sets one of the SHARDIS's monitors to Baby Grinch's face. Later Mugen manages to get back in and immediately sees it.
Adult_Link (the original suggester): you killed my beet
- Amy picks up a beet in response to a command to MEAT MY BEET. After getting sliced by Sengi it receives an epitaph in memory of its life and death.
- Character Blog: Paul creates a tumblr with the url ruddyweenies25. Unfortunately, it's been stolen by his company.
- Chekhov's Gun: The Transmutatron, first introduced in the commercial break toward the end of Act 1, reappears in the Abram intermission and will probably do something in the future. We're waiting...
- Cutaway Gag: The comic cuts to awful infomercials at the climax of the first arc.
- Does This Remind You of Anything?: Frequent when weenies are involved.
- Double Entendre: "BEAT MY MEAT."
- Dropped a Bridge on Him: Crash, seemingly. She's fine.
- Emotion Bomb: The YK-Bot can psychically induce an instant Rant-Inducing Slight on the person who activates it.
- Even the Dog Is Ashamed: Lord Big Hank Douglas IV, when Paul realizes that he made Rosey as a Satellite Love Interest.
- The Friend Nobody Likes: Mugen, probably.
- Fun with Acronyms: Paul refers to Rosey as Crony of Cuteness, or "COC".
- Gender-Blender Name: Dawn (short for Dawn of a New Day).
- Green-Eyed Monster: Mini-Crash is implied to like Paul, who tries to draw his dream girl into existence.
- In-Joke: Many about the Within Hubris forums, to the point of them being inescapable.
- Interactive Fiction
- Interdimensional Travel Device: The SHARDIS. Crash also uses a different device yet to be shown.
- Kid Sidekick: Jeffory, to a degree.
- Long List: The list of punishments for trespassing a certain part of Spanosa's Castle, as shown. Not all of them are that alarming.
- The Multiverse
- My Beloved Smother: Amy's mom, much to her irritation.
- Not Distracted by the Sexy: Crash tries and fails to allure Paul with her ass.
- Parental Abandonment: Paul was left to work at Meatouchers, Inc. at the age of 9.
Dawn (out of character): Tremors remind you of him. I think....Our dad is the best dad.
- Abusive Parents: Suggested in the side banter, due to the fact that Paul thinks of his dad when blowing a stick of dynamite.
- Phallic Weapon: Any weenie used to attack someone.
- Rule of Funny: The reasoning behind many a user command.
- Rule 34: Zelenal apparently writes some of FiM.Oh yes, I also wrote another fanfiction. This one takes quite the saucy turn, when Twilight Sp-The rest of Zelenal's Diary is burnt and covered in an orange glow, presumably Solar Excrement.
- Satellite Love Interest: Paul accidentally creates Rosey/COC as one. This, of course, results in in-universe Fridge Logic.Paul: N-no, uh, I mean [what do you] like, besides me?Rosey: What do ya mean, besides you?Oh boy. You feel you've made a big mistake.
- Skeleton Key: The Key to the Arg. Shame it got thrown out a window.
- The lore explicitly references Ben Drowned, as would be expected from a community that originated around said arg. This naturally also comes with many Majora's Mask references, including an appearance of the artifact itself.
- The style of writing harkens to MS Paint Adventures, as the subtitle acknowledges.
- The SHARDIS. If you've managed to find this page, you probably already get the reference.
- Ponies are culturally significant to the people of Within Hubris. Mugen even has a whole room full of them.
- Jeffory gets to wear Zelenal's Link cosplay, Paul creates a version of the Master Sword made of weenies. Abram apparently lives in the Zelda universe (if clearly long after any of the series itself) and has a whole fanclub based around Link. Amy has the Mask of Truth hanging on her wall. And so on.
- Paul Rudd is named... Paul Rudd. Likewise with Amy Adams.
- Amy has a Sailor Moon poster on her wall.
- Paul is able to pray to David Bowie for good health.
- Paul at one points plays an unspecified Kingdom Hearts game.
- Amy finds some *TERRORISTS* who appear to be Pokémon.
- Paul's jacket was explicitly made to resemble Jotaro Kujo.
- Splash of Color: Certain things are conspicuously colored throughout the comic, eventually culminating in full-color panels during the Abram intermission.
- Toilet Humour: Paul taking a MASSIVE MEAT DUMP, Dawn dropping his hand through a roof asking for toilet paper.Wolfcat (out of character): I've heard of shitposting but this is ridiculous
- Vestigial Empire: Within Hubris.
- Weird Sun: Not only is it sentient, it's a he. His name is Dawn and he has full-blown autonomy.
- The World as Myth: As described by Zelenal.
- Write Who You Know: Nearly every character is an insert of someone who uses the Within Hubris forums.