Welcome to a Milestone Celebration tribute episode, featuring the songs of the cinema.
We begin in Will's head with a Dream Sequence, clearly still with Emma on the mind after she pulled a Runaway Bride last time. As such, he dreams up him and Emma getting their Royal Wedding on, him telling her she's all the world to him, complete with 360 room.note Afterwards, Will wakes up, clearly shattered by the previous events. He turns the movie off as we hit the movie-themed Title Card.
Choir Room. Will reveals the obvious lesson, saying films don't just tell stories, but transport people to other words. Kitty, not one for a stilled tongue, correctly makes the crack about Emma leaving him at the alter. Will doesn't deny it, saying yes, or in ND's case, studying, or Regionals prep. After a shot of Finn still neck deep in guilt from kissing Emma, Will announces the marching orders: favorite songs from favorite movies (and not specifically Singin' in the Rain again); however, to spice things up, this will also be a gender war as well as the delayed mash-up competition. Hmm. Gender war. Having some subconscious issues are we, Hairgel? Anyway, as Artie subtly reveals his burgeoning directorial ambitions, we see Finnegan take Will aside and ask if he's found Emma, seems she's gone off the grid. Finn is just a bit too eager, clearly attempting to assuage his own guilt. Will is dragging feet, saying he wants to give her space. Finn tries to convince him otherwise, but he will not budge as we cut to the Tracksuit Titan and do you really think she's gonna help? All she does is tell Finn Emma's cashed in all her vacation time. Then, because we needed to be reminded that though we know he's near the end of his time on this mortal coil, and that there are many a Freudian Excuse in play, Finn Hudson is generally not what we call a... okay person, Sue lights Finn up with an epic, epic, "The Reason You Suck" Speech.note So epic in fact, that we immediately cut to Finn asking Artie for help. His advice: parents. Because duh. Cut to Blaine and Brittany, finding the other ND members and saying that because it's a gender war, as a warm-up, there should be one performance with all members. And from there, it's the milestone 500th performance, one made for those to "Shout", and a song that Blaine could have done better on but didn't actually get the notes right in some places that were glaringly obvious and Heather could have done the song just fine without him, please and thank you. Although Brittany having to protect her daughter from Blaine's ass (seriously) redeemed the whole thing. Afterwards, as Artie briefly shits on the performance, it's off to Bushwick for a Santana V/O talking about being snowed in with Hummelberry and Kurt's not-boyfriend, Adam. She then, as she is wont to do, decides to stir shit up, nearly spilling about the Klaine hookup at the aborted wedding. Then, she reveals films for them to watch, such as Knocked Up, Rosemary's Baby, and She's Having a Baby. Guess the theme here gang; yes, as will be revealed later, Santana finds Rachel's positive pregnancy pee stick and chose baby-themed films to watch to be a bitch. Kurt overrides her with Moulin Rouge!; love that synergy.
After the break, we see that this was a deliberate ploy, because by god there must, there must be a Klaine duet, Come What May. After this obvious Dream Sequence neck deep in Klaine clips, we cut to Kurt awash in tears, and Santana awash in bitchiness, though this bitchiness has a focus, as Santana reveals that she searched the entire apartment when she moved in, and that she's pretty sure Brody (who appears but is not credited) is a drug dealer. Not spoiling, but we will say right now, he's not. Rachel ain't happy, but Kurt and Adam quietly agree with her. Cut to Emma's office and her dubious parent. However, what's not dubious is Finn's brain, which came alive long enough to trick Emma's parents into giving them the address she's staying at by saying that she's the sponsor of the ginger club, him and Artie in appropriate wigs. These parents are really serious about ginger rights issues, and even though they think that Artie could get more college benefits with the "wheelchair thing" they oblige. They don't seem to recognize Finn as the best man from Emma's wedding, because in fiction wigs are magic. Back to Bushwick and the natives are getting restless, Rachel in particular, calling up Brody to prove he's not a drug dealer. Right, can you see the illogic there? Yes, and even Kurt agrees. And from Big Snixx to Little Snixx as we cut to quirky Sugar wanting a mashup of BatDance and Howard the Duck. Prince and Lea Thompson? Sugar Lopez-Pierce, you so wacky. Instead, we mashup Tom Cruise films, some "Old Time Rock & Roll" in the "Danger Zone", complete with tighty-whities. Yes.
After the break, it's the ladies turn, this season's mash-up competition proving how much things have changed by not happening in episode 6. The boys do Tom Cruise film music, and the girls all dress like Marilyn Monroe. As they're in the ladies room getting ready, Kitty gives Marley a weird form of apology for her Gaslighting, telling her that as they're dating Puckermans (well, getting statutory with one in her case), they'll be in-laws one day. Yeesh. Marley responds by telling her Ryder kissed her. Kitty response is to say that boys are like diamonds and Marley should collect as many as she can, showing that there's some Santana in her to give her character more layers than "new old Quinn". Bad comparison, if she was "new old Quinn", there'd be a lot more pathos over Marley, just saying. After a Diamond of a Marilyn/Madonna mashup, we cut to Kurt in the NYADA dance studio as Adam walks in, Kurt's tears and Santana's snark giving him cause to ask Kurt straight up if he still loves Blaine. We get an less than convincing denial, followed by Adam taking him to find their movie As we like him because he's British, we know that he's leaving soon. Back to McKinley where Finn then decides that only now is telling Will where Emma is a good time, even though he's likely been holding onto her sister's address for a while. Finn, you're an idiot.After the break, we see that apparently Finn anspired a big movie moment reunion, so Will follows in the footsteps of Say Anything..., Easy A, etcetera etcetera by holding up a boom box to her window. This proves ineffectual because he then cues up the Say Anything Signature Song, with backing by ND because they have nothing better to do and he has no friends. Afterwards, Emma exits the house as ND exits the scene, and we find out that Emma bailing was pretty much inevitable even without Sue's presence, a fight or flight instinct. In order to fix their relationship, he suggests Friday night movie dates. Eh, can't do worse. Cut to Santana telling Rachel she finally feels like she's in her element. See, again, Brittany is always ahead of the curb. After another Brody crack, Santana confronts Rachel about the pregnancy test, saying that unless Lady Hummel actually is a lady, it's got to be hers. Rachel starts crying and falls into Santana's arms. Santana clearly has no fucking clue what to do, but comforts her all the same. A call up to Yale is definitely on the cards, so that Dear Lucille can pummel Hudson and/or horse-face and tell Rachel to go to a doctor, then comfort her in ways Brody never would. From there it's over to Jarley and a pottery wheel. An Unchained Melody ensues; afterwards, as you'd expect from an honest Marley, she tells Jake about Ryder kissing her and he is perturbed, leaving Marley alone to weep in ways that are starting to hit us the way it hit us when HeMo wept.
We return for the home stretch where everyone wins the mash up competition because this is Glee. Will thanks Finn for his help with getting Emma back but if the art room scene is anything to go by, you just know that Finn's stupidity is about to coming smashing back into his head... yep, he also tells Will that he kissed Emma. (Who he still calls "Miss Pillsbury"!) He asks Will to punch him, and everyone pauses the screen to get popcorn so that they can truly enjoy this moment four years in the making. Will's hard-on for the man-child overrides his love for Emma, though, and he just walks away. This is supposed to hurt Finn more than a punch, so we should be pleased, but we were really waiting to see him get hurt in a way that an emotional shot of Cory's face might have shown. Essentially, a punch would've been better. We end feeling Footloose, clearly a last-ditch effort to try and convince everyone that Trouty Mouth is a suitable replacement for Mike in the dancing department. He is not. He is so not.
Next Time: Schuester vs. Hudson and no Steve Harvey in sight.
- You're All The World to Me (Royal Wedding) by Fred Astaire, performed by Will and Emma.
- Shout (Animal House) by The Isley Brothers, performed by Brittany and Blaine with New Directions* .
- Come What May from Moulin Rouge!, performed by Blaine and Kurt.
- Old Time Rock & Roll/Danger Zone (Risky Business/Top Gun), by Bob Seger and Kenny Loggins, performed by New Directions boys.
- Diamonds are a Girl's Best Friend/Material Girl (Gentlemen Prefer Blondes/Moulin Rouge!) by Marilyn Monroe and Madonna, performed by New Directions girls.
- In Your Eyes (Say Anything...) by Peter Gabriel, performed by Will.
- Unchained Melody (Ghost) by The Righteous Brothers, performed by Jake and Ryder.
- Footloose (Footloose) by Kenny Loggins, performed by New Directions.
- Maniac! (Flashdance) by Michael Sembello, performed by Brittany, Tina and Kitty with Marley.
- El Tango de Roxanne (Moulin Rouge!) by Ewan McGregor, performed by Brody.
- Diamonds/Diamonds are Forever (—/Diamonds Are Forever) by Rihanna and Shirley Bassey, performed by New Directions girls* .
- Aww, Look! They Really Do Love Each Other: Santana and Rachel. It doesn't last long, though.
- Blatant Lies: Kitty promises not to tell...with her fingers crossed behind her back.
- Cool Shades: The boys wear them during their number; in a Brick Joke, Trouty states they should have won for the shades alone.
- Deliberately Monochrome: The "Royal Wedding" sequence.
- Once a Season: Although it's nine episodes late, this is the mash-up episode.
- Milestone Celebration: As mentioned, this was the episode featuring Glee's 500th performance. To commemorate, two versions of "Shout" were filmed, the first featuring Glee's cast and crew in place of the extras.
- "Not Important to This Episode" Camp: Beiste
- Paper-Thin Disguise: Finn and Artie's ginger wigs.
- "Risky Business" Dance: The boys performing - gasp! "Old Time Rock & Roll"
- Shout-Out: Along with all the movie references, Santana refers to Rachel and Brody's relationship as akin to that of Lars and the Real Girl. ("Lars and the Real Boy", which is all kinds of creepy if you've ever seen the male Real Dolls.
- Snow Means Love: While Sitting on the Roof (or singing on a roof-type set), Blaine and Kurt duet and a gentle snow starts to fall.
- Technology Marches On: No one knows what the pager is.