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Literature / Life and Death: Twilight Reimagined

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"Try not to get caught up in antiquated gender roles."
Edythe to Beau, page 174

A non-canon, Rule 63 retelling of Twilight's first novel.

High school student Beaufort Swan moves to Forks, Washington to live with his father. There he meets and almost instantly falls in love with Edythe Cullen, a beautiful, mysterious girl in her science class, soon revealed to be a vampire. Their relationship has a rocky start, but eventually they win each other over... just when a disastrous visitor arrives in Forks.

Written by Stephenie Meyer for the 10 year anniversary of Twilight, she decided to make this book after reading the many complaints that Twilight's main character Bella was considered too much of a Damsel in Distress. Every character underwent a Gender Swap, exept Bella/Beau's parents and a few background characters mentioned only twice.


This book contains examples of:

  • Afraid of Blood: Beau. He almost fainted at the mere sight of blood, not even his own. He even memorized a few big words to explain these situations.
  • The Alleged Car: Taylor's van which almost crushes Beau. All the readers know is that's a 1980s Chevy Astro and that it was sold for parts after Edythe lifted it off Beau during the accident.
  • All Women Are Lustful: Edythe claims Beau has ten admirers.
  • Almost Kiss: Several. Every time Beau describes Edythe as a magnet and himself as a helpless piece of metal, he unthinkingly leans in to kiss her. Every time she backs away, until she finally makes the move herself.
  • Aloof Dark-Haired Girl: Eleanor.
  • Amicably Divorced: Charlie and Renée. They mainly split up because Renée couldn't stand Forks, and Charlie didn't want to leave. They're shown to be in communication regarding Beau, and when they see each other again on Beau's funeral, they are quite nice to each other...
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  • Anticlimax: Lauren describes Joss as unstoppable and absolutely lethal, she even refuses to face her with seven other vampires at her side. But we only see bits of the fight between her and Edythe since Beau is half-unconscious and transforming at that moment, and Joss appears to get taken down way too easily for her reputation.
  • The Big Guy: Royal.
  • Clueless Chick Magnet: Beau. When he first enters high school at Forks, he doesn't notice his immediate popularity with the girls, not even when other boys start hanging out with him just to get part of the girls' attention. Edythe later tells Beau he has ten admirers, not all of them being so forward as Taylor and McKayla.
  • Clingy Jealous Girl: Beau's immediate success with the girls has resulted in a few of these.
    • McKayla, to the point where other characters believe she is actually Beau's girlfriend.
    Edythe: "Your girlfriend thinks I'm being mean to you - she's debating whether or not to come break up our fight."
    Beau: "I don't have a girlfriend, and you're trying to change the subject."
    Edythe: "You might not think of her that way, but it's how she thinks of you."
    • Taylor also becomes this after almost killing Beau in a car accident. She proceeds to tell everyone she's taking him to prom, and it's up to Beau to uninvite Taylor.
  • Cool Car: Royal's BMW M3. Edythe says all Cullens like to drive fast, but also try to not stand out too much, which is why Edythe drives a Volvo S60R.
  • Cop Killer: Beau is almost murdered in Port Angeles after being seen with his father, Police Chief Swan. Edythe rescues him, though.
  • Do Not Call Me "Paul": Beau hates it when he's called by his birth name Beaufort.
    Beau: "Thank you so much, Grandpa, for dying just months before I was born and making my mom feel obligated to honor you."
  • Gender Flip:
    • The entire book is this to the first novel of Twilight (even the cover is flipped, with a man holding out a green apple) starring Edythe Cullen and Beau (Beaufort) Swan (full list of flipped names here). Ostensibly written to show that Bella is not just a Distressed Damsel, only a powerless human surrounded by super-beings and a male character would've acted the same way.
    • The only characters who aren't flipped are Bella/Beau's parents, which Meyer reasoned would have caused too many narrative problems:
      "Beau was born in 1987. It was a rare thing for a father to get primary custody of a child in those days — even more so when the child was just a baby," wrote Meyer in the foreword. "Most likely, the mother would have had to be proven unfit in some way."
  • Jerkass: Beau comes across like this after being turned into a vampire by Edythe. Instead of trying to explain the way Bella did in Breaking Dawn, he goes along with the Cullens' plan of faking his death in a car accident.
  • Love Triangle: The Type 5 love triangle appears several times. Jeremy has feelings for McKayla, who is only looking at Beau. Logan on the other hand has a thing for Taylor, but she as well is only interested in Beau. Ultimately, all of Beau's admirers (ten according to Edythe) lose him when he fakes his death and starts dating Edythe.
  • One Head Taller: Beau doesn't consider Edythe to be dangerous, mainly because she's a full head shorter than him.
  • Operation: Jealousy: Invoked by Beau. After seeing that Logan is being a Jerkass to him because Taylor is only interested in Beau, he blames Taylor of having used him to make Logan jealous.
  • Pint-Sized Powerhouse: Edythe. She is so tiny Beau finds it hard to believe she can actually be dangerous, but at the same time he knows too well that she is.
  • Sadistic Choice: After being bitten by Joss, Beau is forced to choose between turning into a vampire or dying on the spot. He chooses to live forever with his girlfriend.
  • Suck Out the Poison: Subverted. After Joss bites Beau and he starts turning into a vampire, Edythe tries to suck out the venom, but its gotten too far into Beau's system and his transformation has already begun.
  • Team Mom: Carine is this to Edythe and the rest of the Cullens.
  • Touch Telepathy: A female vampire named Mele transferred the ability from Aro to his wife Sulpecia, who had he and Caius destroyed for their murder of Aro's own sister Didyme, and then used it to help her rule the vampire world.

Example of: