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Funny / Twin Peaks

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Original run (Seasons 1 and 2, and FWWM)
  • There is an astonishingly funny scene around the mid-end of the second season where Gordon Cole (played by David Lynch) tries to flirt with Shelly Johnson. The running-joke of Cole's hearing problems is made fresh and funny, and adding the Log Lady into the mix just made it even more amazing.
    • And adding onto that, Bobby's expression when he walks in and sees Cole and Shelly kissing is something that must be seen to be believed.
      • And of course, Cole's comment on the situation is perhaps one of the best lines in the series:
    • In one scene in the second season, Windom Earle is listening to the police discussing his schemes via a Tracking Device in their office when Cole suddenly notices the bonsai tree where the device is hidden and leans over it:
      Earle: (clapping a hand to his ear) Agh! Damnation!
  • The scenes where Ben Horne looks back on his childhood.
  • When about to explain his rock-throwing method, Cooper takes a cup of coffee, takes a sip—and then spits it out. And goes, "MM!!!—DAMN GOOD COFFEE! And hot!"
  • "Fellas, don't drink that coffee! You'd never guess...there was a fish in the percolator." Followed by Cooper giving an epic Oh, Crap! look.
  • The drunk Icelandic delegation on Cooper's inn floor. And Cooper's Tranquil Fury at it.
    Cooper: Dianne, it is 4:28 AM. I have just been woken up by the most God-awful racket, which you can probably hear over the sound of my voice. (holds up tape recorder for two seconds.) Can you hear that? Up until this moment, I've experienced nothing at the Great Northern Hotel but the most pleasant, courteous service imaginable. However, it just goes to prove the point that once a traveler leaves his home he loses almost 100% of his ability to control his environment. Dianne, I was wondering if you could overnight express to me two-pair of those Ear Pillow silicon earplugs which I used on my last trip to New York. Naturally, I didn't bring them with me on this trip because I didn't feel it would be necessary, however...(holds up tape recorder for three seconds, then turns it off)
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  • Pretty much any of the guests in the background at the hotel. They range from cheerleaders, to marching bands, to a barbershop quartet, and many more. They're never explained, never even really acknowledged, they're just...there. It just seems too bizarre to have a fairly quiet scene of Dale and Albert talking over coffee, when there's a barbershop quartet humming to themselves in he background!
  • Cooper and the llama.
  • Fed up with Albert`s snobbishness, Truman decks him in the face. When Cooper tries to reassure Albert that Truman probably didn`t mean any disrespect, he singles out this moment, saying that he probably did mean to smash Albert`s face in.
  • Ben's mental breakdown and re-enactment of the Civil War in the second season.
  • Everything about Nadine, especially post-coma.
    • Notably her first time waking up, where she breaks the chains holding her down on a hospital bed so that she can start clapping enthusiastically in preparation for a cheerleading routine. The look on Ed's face is hilarious!
    • When Bobby finds out that Mike has entered a consensual relationship with Nadine, Mike tells him the benefits of going out with an older woman with super-strength and the emotional turbulence of a teenage girl. Mike whispers in Bobby`s ear, so we don`t get to hear exactly what those benefits are, but Bobby reels back in disgust.
  • Leo in his catatonic state has a few. You know you`re watching quality television when you can laugh at a disabled person`s expense and still keep face.
    • Shelly makes Leo a cake. While she`s busy canoodling with Bobby, Leo slumps face-first into the cake.
    • "New shoes..."
  • Later in season 2, when the pageant judges are discussing what they want in a Miss Twin Peaks, a very exasperated extra walks in front of them carrying a stuffed deer. It looks like he's having sex with it!
  • The scene where Garland Briggs slaps a cigarette out of Bobby's mouth, causing it to land in Mrs. Briggs's meatloaf.
  • Cooper's deductive technique involving the throwing of rocks at a glass bottle.
  • Audrey's successful attempt to wreck her father's impending deal with the Norwegians, by informing them of Laura Palmer's murder.
  • Speaking of Audrey: The cute moment when she flirts with Cooper for the first time, and Cooper pointedly asks her age. She tells him she's eighteen. Beat. Cooper sets a dinner date.
  • Cooper in the pilot, after losing a tail:
    Cooper: (to Truman) Get me a doughnut!
  • Even if it precedes something horrifying...
    The Man from another place: Wow, Bob, wow.
  • Agent Cooper: "I combined Major Briggs' tattoo with the Log Lady's."
  • Cooper and Sheriff Truman stare at an enormous, seemingly incongruous moose head on a table at the station.
    Secretary: "Oh, it fell down."
  • Deputy Hawk says something in a profound, Magical Native American tone. And then comes the last line.
    Hawk: One woman can make you fly like an eagle, another can give you the strength of a lion, but only one in the cycle of life can fill your heart with wonder and the wisdom that you have known a singular joy. *Beat* I wrote that for my girlfriend.
  • "I've got good news. That gum you like is going to come back in style."
  • The sound effects on the hospital food. And the actual look of it.
  • Pretty much anything that comes out of Andy's mouth. "I'm a whole damn town!"
    • Andy stepping on a loose plank that shoots up and smacks him in the face, right when Albert comes back. The judgemental look on Albert`s face as Andy staggers around in a daze is priceless.
  • Cooper seeing the array of doughnuts in the pilot:
    Cooper (awed): A policeman's dream!
  • There's something darkly hilarious about the Waiter's senile antics as Cooper is lying on the floor, suffering from two bullets to the stomach. By the middle of the conversation, Cooper gives up on getting any help and just indulges the man with his trademark thumbs up.
  • The reveal in season two that after days of investigation, multiple trips to the Black Lodge, what seems to be months of general nonsense, and Cooper getting shot and recovering, that Cooper has only been in Twin Peaks for twelve days.
  • Albert, at Gordon's behest, coming to check up on Cooper during the Windom Earle case.
    Albert: As Gordon so delicately put it, "I'M WORRIED ABOUT COOP!"
  • Leland waltzing into the Great Northern Hotel singing "Mairzy Doats", and both Horne brothers gamely joining in and dancing along.
  • The entire subplot surrounding Lana Milford. Her wealthy, elderly husband drops dead right before they can consumate, which doesn`t raise nearly as much suspicion as you`d think. Her husband`s brother then falls for her as soon as they get some alone time. When Cooper, Truman and the rest of the sheriff`s department question her, these men of integrity are all completely bewitched by her.
  • Dick hosts a wine-tasting class. Andy comes along, but doesn`t realise you`re supposed to follow the host`s lead at these sort of things and has a swig of wine. This leads to Andy`s introduction suddenly switching from charming host to screaming at Andy like an exasperated parent.
  • When Truman drinks away his sorrows and wakes up with a hangover, both Cooper and Cole have some fun telling Truman the recipe to some hangover cures they know, all of which are clearly meant to nauseate Truman.
  • Audrey decides to protest at the local bank. She handcuffs herself to the entryway to the vaults and politely asks the teller to inform the press. Adding to this is the fact that the teller is clearly senile and can`t handle all of her instructions at once.

The Return
  • Part 3: "I. ATE. THAT. BUNNY!"
    • Followed by Hawk going, "It's not the bunny." beat "Could it be the bunny?" beat "No, it's not the bunny."
    • Dr Jacoby spraypainting shovels for several minutes. The joke being that after a lifetime of looooong takes, David Lynch now literally has the audience watching paint dry.
  • Part 4: Gordon Cole turns his hearing aid all the way up so he can carry on a whispered conversation with Albert. Then Albert accidentally scrapes his shoe against the ground...
    • Lucy's reaction to seeing Sheriff Frank Truman suddenly walking into the station, not realizing that while talking with him he had walked back from fishing and was talking to her on his cell phone. Upon seeing him, she screams and falls backwards in her chair. Afterwards, Andy is seen trying to comfort her, while calmly and patiently explaining how cell phones work, making it clear that they have had this conversation several times already.
    • The appearance of Lucy and Andy's son, Wally Brando, whose four minutes on screen is devoted to a stilted, beat-poet monologue delivered to Sheriff Truman in an impression of Marlon Brando. By the end, Truman is left gobsmacked and can only turn around to head indoors in awkward silence.
    • Also this interaction between Cole and Albert.
      Albert: Agent Preston gets carsick.
      Cole: Albert, we're in South Dakota. Cossacks are in Russia
      Albert: CARSICK!
    • If you're an X-Phile, just the sight of a David Duchovny character in a high-ranking position in the FBI can be humourous.
    • The entire sequence of Mr. Jackpots. All of it.
    • In a very dark way, Double Coop failing spectacularly to imitate the real Cooper's mannerisms and eccentricities, instead coming off as an unsettling Faux Affably Evil version. Neither Albert nor Gordon buy it for a second.
  • Part 5 is no slouch in amusing moments:
    • The scene with Sheriff Truman and his wife, where she rants him nearly nonstop about a leaking pipe while Truman, clearly used to her behavior, just waits for her to finish up with a "You're impossible!" before she stomps off and he resumes his work.
    • Cooper taking Frank's coffee because he so badly wants it, which ends up with Frank drinking an extra green tea lattee and finding himself really enjoying it.
    • Doctor Jacoby has become an Alex Jones expy and he sells Golden Shit-Digging Shovels for 29.99 plus shipping and handling.
  • Part 6:
    • Albert parks his car in pouring rain, laboriously makes his way outside and locks the door while unfolding an umbrella, and yells "FUCK GENE KELLY, YOU MOTHERFUCKER!"
    • Richard's response to being shown up by Red's magic trick intimidation.
      • "Magic motherfucker!"
    • And let's not forget Ike, a strange little dude murdering people with an Awl and suddenly acting distraught when the murder weapon breaks after a particularly gruesome hit job.
      • "Oh, no!"
    • Janey-E's rant against the Loan Sharks is mostly just awesome, but also hilarious from how utterly impudent it is for her to be doing this. Made even better by the loan sharks' faces during and especially after the rant, which can be summed up as, "...What the hell just happened?!"
  • Part 7:
    • Coop and Janey-E are attacked by Ike, and Coop promptly takes him down. This would normally be considered an awesome moment, but what pushes this into funny territory are the unrealistic karate chop sound effects used whenever Cooper throat-punches the hitman and the sudden appearance of the Man from Another Place, commanding Cooper to "SQUEEZE [Ike's] HAND OFF" in a voice that sounds like someone had just inhaled a can full of pure helium.
    • Diane's Catchphrase is, "Fuck you, [name]." When Tammy says something, Diane politely asks her name, and then says, "Fuck you, Tammy."
  • Part 8:
    • While Part 8 is full blown Mind Screw Nightmare Fuel that'd give Inland Empire a run for it's money, one part is funny. While their performance is equally nightmare fuel incarnate, just the fact that the Roadhouse introduced them as The Nine Inch Nails can get a chuckle for some. Especially for NIN fans who tend to facepalm at people thinking it's a band when it's the highest example of I Am the Band note .
  • Part 9:
    • "I. Am. Not. Your. Foot."
    • In what should be a Tear Jerker, Hastings' meltdown during his interrogation takes a rather absurd turn when he starts sobbing and telling Agent Preston, "I want to go scuba diving!" Of course, since this is a David Lynch series, it may have been intentional.
    • Diane continues to deliver.
      Mackley: I'm sorry, Ma'm, you can't smoke in here.
      Diane: ...It's a FUCKING MORGUE! (takes a drag)
  • Part 11:
    • Gordon Cole and others go investigate a location related to what happened to Bill Hastings. As Gordon approaches the specific spot, he sees a dark vortex forming in the sky and spends a good while staring at it. While what is shown from Gordon's perspective is eery as all hell, the funny part is when in the middle of the scene we are shown how it looks to everyone else: Nothing is happening, and Gordon is just standing there, looking upwards with his hands raised for no apparent reason for a good minute and a half.
    • After the top half of Hasting's head pops out of seemingly nowhere, Gordon Cole speaks for the audience.
      Gordon: (completely matter-of-factly) He's dead.
  • Part 12:
    • Hutch and Chantal's first stop after killing Warden Dwight Murphy? Wendy's.
    • After building up a half of season, we finally get to see what happened to Audrey Horne. As it turns out, she's unhappily married to a man named Charlie and is cheating on him with another man named Billy, who may or may not have connections to a woman named Tina. An Anti-Climax and trolling at its finest.
      • The shear litany of swears and insults Audrey throws at her husband could give Diane a run for her money.
  • Part 14:
    • Cole inadvertently yelling at everyone he's the phone with, causing them to move some distance from it.
    • The Mood-Swinger in the Las Vegas office.
  • Part 15:
    • Freddie uses his "strength-enhancing" glove to save James from Renee's jealous husband by hospitalizing the latter with a solid punch to the face, prompting several viewers to begin cracking One-Punch Man jokes.
    • "A cup of coffee...and a cyanide tablet."
    • After decades of being Star-Crossed Lovers, what finally gets Ed and Norma together in the end is Jacoby's money-making scheme.
  • Part 16:
  • Part 17:
    • This exchange between Albert and Gordon Cole, after they have vanquished Tulpa Diane:
      Albert: You okay, Gordon?
      Cole: (looks at his gun) I couldn't do it, Albert... (shakes his head) I couldn't do it.
      Albert: You've gone soft in your old age.
      Cole: What?
      Albert: I said, "You've gone soft in your old age."
      Cole: ...Not where it counts, buddy.


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