Funny / Sonic Colors

Dr. Eggman: "Water you waiting for? Take a splash into the Sonic Colors comedy page for a boatload of... augh, who writes this drivel!?"
Orbot: "You do, boss!"
Dr. Eggman: "Oh, you’re right, I do! Hohohohoh! I’m hilarious!"

---

• With the Sonic the Hedgehog series constantly getting Denser and Wackier, the cutscenes are scripted more and more like what you'd see in a cartoon, resulting in many more of these moments. Case in point: the cutscene in Sonic Colors when Tails first gets the translator working (right after the first boss), involving a Bread, Eggs, Milk, Squick gag, much mistranslated gibberish (underwear for salad? Seriously?), and a quick but blatant fourth wall breach by Sonic.
  • Sega has revealed some quotes from the game's script, collected in this NeoGAF post and on their official Twitter account. Here are some of Eggman's quotes:
    Eggman: "Please don't be concerned by any screaming aliens. The screams are how they communicate. Really. I promise."
    Eggman: "Would Sonic the Hedgehog please report to the security office? Repeat, Sonic the Hedgehog please report to the security office. We've found your — er... your keys! That's it, we've found your keys. No need to be ready for a trap, since we only wish to return your keys!"
    Eggman: "Attention — the anti-gravity toilets on this level are out of order. We are sorry for this inconvenience, and hope that you can hold it for the next 20,000 light years."
    Eggman: "Would the owner of a white hovercar shaped like an egg please report to the front desk? Your car has been broken into. Repeat. Would the owner of a white hovercar shaped like an egg please report to the front desk? Your car has been broken i— wait a minute, WHAT THE HECK?!!"
    Eggman: "Please refrain from foiling any evil schemes, plots, and/or plans while in the park. Foiling is strictly prohibited."
    Eggman: "Next stop: the Sweet Mountain. Enjoying our candy paradise is the perfect way to celebrate your next birthday...or to avoid reaching it."
    Eggman: "We seem to be losing pressure on Level 17. Please hold your breath against the harsh vacuum of space until you pass out from oxygen starvation. After that, you won't care. Enjoy the ride!"
  • At the Sweet Mountain:
    Eggman: "We know they look delicious, but please refrain from licking the rides. That would be disgusting. Do you know where those rides have been? People have been sitting on those rides! WITH THEIR BUTTS! Okay, go ahead. Lick them. Don't say we didn't warn you."
    Eggman: "Welcome to the Sweet Mountain! Insulin will be provided at a marginal extra cost. And by 'marginal', we mean 'enormous'."
  • At Tropical Resort:
    Eggman: The unfiltered starlight from the lovely constellations above is full of deadly radiation! Help yourself to our complimentary SPF 3000 starblock. And by 'complimentary', I mean 'quite expensive'."
    Eggman: "Please refrain from throwing coins, trash, or small children into the reflecting pools."
    Eggman: "We here at Eggman's Incredible Interstellar Amusement Park consider ourselves the universe's first fully green amusement park; although the green is from all the nausea and vomiting, but still, green is green."
    Eggman: "No aliens were harmed in the creation of this park. They were all harmed AFTER the park was created."
    Eggman: (referring to the Earth) "Notice the lovely planet floating in the sky above you, soon to be the property of Eggman Enterprises."
  • In Aquarium Park:
    Eggman: "In the unlikely event of an emergency, please find the nearest escape pod. For anyone not named Eggman, your escape pod can be found back at the planet still being assembled in the factory."
    Eggman: "Please avoid breaking the glass, as it is the only thing between you and ten million gallons of freezing wet death."
  • At the Asteroid Coaster:
    Eggman: "Every visitor to the park gets a free blue hedgehog! If you can find one, please feel free to take it home with you. Or destroy it. Our choice."
    • Too bad Amy Rose wasn't there to hear it.
  • These quotes are just some of it, as this video contains all of Eggman's PA announcements. This game's script is a triumph.
  • The best Eggman PA is after the final battle. In one of the few times he agrees with Sonic, he has three choice words for the PA announcement after he is defeated, "OH SHUT UUUUUUUUUUUP!"
• In general, the story in this game is rather humorous in tone, one particular example being the cutscene after the Refreshinator boss battle in Planet Wisp. Everything, from Sonic's expressions/embarrassment, to Tails' snarky attitude about why Sonic is talking to a dead robot, just makes this cutscene one of the more humorous ones in the game.
  Sonic: So... we can just forget about the whole talking-to-dead-robots thing, right?
  Tails: Nope.
  Sonic: I knew you'd say that. (groans and does a mid-air Head Desk)
• Baldy Nosehair.
  • Even better is Sonic's reaction to hearing those words.
    Sonic: (laughing) Baldy Nosehair?! That's the best thing I've heard all day! I gotta remember that one.
    Tails: (giggles) I know, I've already written it down.
    (...)
    Sonic: (laughing) I'm totally calling him McNosehair!
  • This also becomes a nickname that Sonic teases Eggman about a couple times in future games.
  • Just the fact that, even though Eggman enslaved the Wisps and strip-mined their homes, a childish-sounding insult like "Baldy Nosehair" was the monicker they gave him. Or perhaps it was just the monicker Tails' translator thought they gave him.
• The intro where Cubot and Orbot praises Eggman but once they move behind while Eggman laughs about his scheme, Orbot lies down with a sigh as if knowing it will fail...again while Cubot holds up a cup of coffee.
• Sonic moonwalking after the first boss. That is all.
• Sonic's line before fighting the Planet Wisp boss, after the PA announcement about copyright laws in Eggman's Incredible Interstellar Amusement Park:
  Sonic: Eggman! I AM going to save this planet, and I AM going to free these aliens. No copyright law in the universe is going to stop me! We can save ourselves a lot of time and broken robots if you just quit now!
  [silence]
  Sonic: [sigh] You try to be reasonable...
  • Made even funnier by the fact that the whole SOPA and PIPA incident was going on around the time of this game's release.
• The ending sequence, with Cubot.
• "How about you and me make like Eggman's hairline and recede?"
  Tails: Uh...this isn't joke time. This is "running to the space elevator" time!
• As Something Awful would put it, Tails delivers an ICE BURN to Sonic:
  Tails: True. Well, good job to you on inventing a translator that allowed us to speak to the aliens in order to figure out exactly what we needed to do so we weren't running around the park looking like idiots. Oh wait, no — that was me!
• "Ooh! I think I gloated so hard I pulled a muscle!"
• Pretty much anything involving Tails's buggy translator. Public transportation and aquatic animals, indeed.
• "Yeah, that's right. I'm stretching. You got a problem with that?"
• "CRITICAL SYSTEMS FAILURE! Repeat, CRITICAL SYSTEMS FAILURE! All attraction access is temporarily suspended. Please evacuate the park via the emergency exit ahead. THIS IS ALL YOUR FAULT!!!"
• This scene before the Starlight Carnival/Sweet Mountain boss:
  (After Eggman reveals his evil plot and sics a boss on Sonic and Tails)
  Sonic: Hahaha! Pay up, Tails! I told you he had an evil plot and coming here was a good idea. There it is, straight from the horse's mouth.
  Tails: Uh, we didn't bet.
  Sonic: ...Dang.
  • He then just dejectedly walks over to the boss, waving off to Tails as he does so.
    • Made even funnier in the Sweet Mountain version of the scene: the music actually stops right after Tails points out that they didn't bet.
• The final leg of the story, from Cubot's transition to Bronx accent to Gir-bot expy to Sonic's casual shot down of Eggman's final threat with theme park puns.
  Eggman: Leaving so soon? There are no lines, and I've saved the best rides for last! At least let me stamp your hand so you can come back in!
  Sonic: Ugh, I know you're trying to be clever with this whole "amusement-park-pun" thing, but it's just coming off lame. Just say you're going to destroy us and stop embarrassing yourself.
  Eggman: Curse you, Sonic! Not only do you foil my plans, but you foil my speeches as well! I work hard on them! No matter, I WILL destroy you, and I WILL be victorious!... Is that better?
  Sonic: Like, a million times better. Thank you.
  • The implication that Eggman pre-writes and rehearses his evil speeches.
• Tails tries out Eggman's 'Bucket o' Sushi' restaurant, now with fish. The verdict?
  Tails: His cruelty knows no bounds.
• The first cutscene appearance of Cubot and Orbot, with Cubot's inability to understand Eggman's sarcasm:
  Dr. Eggman: (Counting capsules) ...twenty-three, twenty-four, twenty-five... Bah! Not nearly enough aliens!
  Orbot: Want us to get more?
  Dr. Eggman: No, I want you to get me a cheeseburger and a shake.
  Cubot: That'll be easier! (Turns to Orbot, who palms the side of his head) Cheeseburgers don't run as fast as those li'l alien varmints.
  Dr. Eggman: Idiot! Get me more aliens!
  (Orbot and Cubot move to leave, until Cubot stops and looks back)
  Cubot: Y'all want fries with that? (Receives a double-headed wrench to the face from offscreen) D'OOH! I reckon that hurt a bit...
  • Coupled with Orbot having to explain one of Sonic's one-liners to a confused Cubot.
    Dr. Eggman: Hmm... precious little aliens! I'll harness their Hyper-Go-On power, and then nothing will stop me! I know I say that every time, but this time, really, nothing will stop me!
    Orbot: Uh... boss? [Draws Eggman's attention to Sonic]
    Dr. Eggman: What? SONIC?!
    Sonic: Who're you callin' "nothing"? (turns around, bends over and mockingly spanks his posterior)
    Cubot: ...huh?
    Orbot: He means, since the boss said "Nothing will stop me!", and Sonic here is going to stop him, it's like the boss was calling Sonic "nothing".
    Sonic: Great! I thought nobody would get that!
• How did Sonic and Tails sneak into the park?
  Sonic: (While on space elevator) I can't believe somebody was dumb enough to leave the keys in this thing!
  • Which makes Eggman's PA about returning Sonic's keys all the more hilarious and maybe not really a lie after all.
• After defeating the first boss, Sonic comes along and tells Tails that he had a bite to eat, did some shopping, and then destroyed a giant evil robot. Tails' reaction? "Oh, they have shopping here too?"
• The whole Running Gag about Cubot's defective voice chip.
  • Especially the one where Orbot changes Cubot's voice chip.
    Eggman: Finally, I don't think anything could have been more annoying than that cowboy chatter.
    Cubot: Yar! Feelin' ship-shape with me new voice chip, I am. Ah-beggin' yer pardon, Squire, but me and my matey are going to sail off an' search fer that lubber Sonic. Arr!
    Orbot: I think that's the wrong chip.
    Eggman: Really? Are you sure he doesn't normally speak in pirate?
    Orbot: On the bright side, he's much more exotic now.
    Eggman: Just go find him and FIX THAT CHIP!!!
• Orbot singing.
  "The think bone's connected to the talk bone, the talk bone's connected to the mouth bone..."
• The Press X to Not Die events, which have been simplified to just mashing the A button until the announcer shouts "AMAZING!" In other words, the announcer calls you "amazing" just for pressing the same button over and over.
• Meta, but still noteworthy. The latest Nintendo Switch version of Sonic Colours Ultimate trailer had included Justin's Metal Sonic scream from one of the official Sonic the Hedgehog livestreams. Many commenters did not let this go unnoticed.
• Another subtle, yet hilarious moment that many are quick to comment is the very simple fact that Sega had cut out the 60FPS 4K part out of the Switch port's trailer.

---