- When Friar Hugo mentions that the fish has been caught by Brother Alf, Matthias immdiately interjects "And me! And me!". Friar Hugo's reaction right after makes the scene one to remember.
- When old Methuselah discovers the connection between I - Am That Is and Matthias' name, he starts giggling and wise-cracking, causing Matthias to think that the grinning old guy next to him has finally snapped. Jacques kindly described it as "second infancy". And Matthias keeps thinking that for almost a page.
- Basil's banter with Cluny while he and Jess were taking back the tapestry.Cluny: "Get him! I want his head!!"Basil: "What's the matter? Isn't your own head good enough?"
- Any scene with Basil Stag Hare.
- As well as just about any scene with the Guosim.
- Sela and Fangburn tell Blatant Lies to Cluny in an attempt to explain why Redtooth is missing - he actually got killed by Constance, they claim he fell in a random swamp. Fangburn is so used to agreeing with everything his boss says that this happens:Fangburn: Yes. Er, I mean, what was that, Chief?(Sela kicks him.)
- In the animated adaptation, the boiling water poured into the tunnel dug by Cluny's army is replaced with porridge, leading to this gem from Cluny:"Porridge? They defeated me with porridge?! HEADS WILL ROLL FOR THIS! Cheesethief! CHEESETHIEF!"
- Matthias's introduction to Squire Julian Gingevire. One chapter ends with Matthias landing in the squire's mouth. Then, a few chapters later, we finally get back to him and the squire just spits him out and chews him out for his rudeness.
- This scene:"Mangiz does not forget an insult, hedgepig.""Good, then here's a few more to remember, you brainless featherbottomed excuse for a duck!"[...]"I will not stand here and be insulted!""Then stand somewhere else and I'll insult you there, featherbag!"
- At one point, Ambrose mentions that he wishes Basil were there, as Basil can apparently stand there all day and insult a person without repeating himself a single time.
- Abbot Mordalfus comments on Sparra speech: "Can you imagine Friar Hugo's face when Warbeak tells him to 'burn fishworm good?'"
- Matthias responds that he's not sure who's harder to understand, a sparrow or a mole.
- In an otherwise absolutely Tear Jerker moment, Jess's view on Warbeak's death: "Totally mad, of course. She'd rather die than miss a good fight."
- Rollo the baby vole's songs. Some of them are downright hilarious, with one being his own version of a song Basil and Ambrose had been singing just moments earlier.
- Particularly when he declares his intentions to "fight a flagon and drink a dragon".
- Later on, he expresses a desire to fight the dragon and steal its coat.
- Martin's Odd Friendship with Gonff, self-proclaimed Prince of Mousethieves.
- The antics of Ferdy and Coggs, the two young hedgehogs.
- The bumbling antics of Tsarmina's crew, also Tsarmina herself when she isn't just completely off her rocker. She also gets some good lines, such as "... young ones in a special prison all of their own, where they can be heard but not seen by their parents. Haha, I must remember that: heard but not seen."
- When Martin and Bella are searching Brockhall for a shield to turn, one of the two possibilities is Brockhall's door knocker. Bella takes it and tries to turn it... and promptly breaks the knocker.
- Tense as it is, there's something funny in Mask being unmasked when a spiteful captain stomps on his false tail, causing it to fall off.
The Legend of Luke
- Gonff befriends a goshawk by using his old Prince of Mousethieves shtick. The goshawk, Krar Woodwatcher, honestly believes Gonff is a prince and cannot wait to serve him.
- Beauregard "Beau" Fethringsol Cosfortingham trying to remember his name. He finds it hard, due to his memory going from old age, and winds up calling himself Beauregard Fethringclair Confounditall.
- Chugger the squirrelbabe adopts the four old creatures from the Arfship as his "ole granpas". Trimp tells him to stop being so rude, but they respond that he can call them blather-faced bloaters just so long as he keeps feeding them.
- Vurg and Beau attempt to build a raft. They end up with a complete mess..."Oh, splendid, absojollylutely spiffin'! All she needs is a jib boom, spanker, top royal gallants an' mizzen shrouds!"Vurg peered at him questioningly. "D'you know wot yore talkin' about?"Beau leaned against the raft. It collapsed. "No, d'you?"
Mariel of Redwall
- The Running Gag about the mole who has a taste for wild garlic.
- Every main character declares they'll be the one to kill Gabool. Targuin sees no reason he should be left out despite having no personal grudge against the searat.Lord Rawnblade stood up, both paws resting on the crosshilt of his destroyer Verminfate. "I am sworn to kill Gabool. He is mine!"
Joseph touched the long knife at the back of his belt. "Then you will have to be quick, Lord Widestripe. I made an oath to slay Gabool when the house slaves told me he had drowned my Mariel with a rock and a rope tied about her neck. That oath still holds!"
Mariel leaped up, the Gullwhacker swinging wide. "First there, first served! Gabool's life is mine to take. I am Mariel Gullwhacker, I claim the right!"
Tarquin leaned over to Dandin. "What about you, old feller?"
Dandin drew the sword slowly. "This is the blade of Martin the Warrior. No creature that is evil can stand against it, least of all Gabool!"
Tarquin and Durry held a hasty whispered conference, then they both jumped up, issuing their separate challenges.
"This 'ere is my scraggin' dagger, an' I'm goin' to scrag that scurvy Gabool good 'n' proper. I'm on'y a young lad, but I swear it by my ol" nuncle Gabe's best October ale!"
"Well, you'll have t' scrag away pretty fast, old chap, 'cos if Joseph has got the blighter with his long knife, Milord Rawnblade has paid the rotter a visit with that great log cleaver and our Mariel has been to see the scoundrel with her Gullwhacker, then along comes the bold Durry Quill with his scraggin' dagger, well, tell me this: what chance is an honest chap like meself goin' to get to brain the beggar with my jolly old harolina, wot? Listen, you lot, stop bein' so confounded greedy and let me be first to knock out a tune on the villain's noodle."
The sight of Tarquin striking a noble pose, harolina at the ready, caused the entire group to dissolve into helpless laughter.
- Rufe's terrified reaction when Treerose tries to give him a cutesy nickname.
- Mariel and Dandin toward the beginning. They've established that they don't have any food except for some months-old oatcakes that Mariel had kept to remind her of Redwall, and they decide to sleep. Dandin starts talking about Abbey food, and then:Dandin: Prob'ly mint tea as well, icy cold, brewed since dawn, clear and fragrant, just right for sipping on a hot day like... (Mariel hits him over the head with her haversack) Yowch!
Mariel: One more word and I'll let you have it again!
Dandin: Can't hear you, old mouseypaws. You've knocked me senseless with those two oatcakes in there!
Mariel: Good! Perhaps you'll be quiet now.
Dandin: Quiet? I haven't said a single word!
Mariel: Right, then I'll say a single word: Goodnight!
Dandin: Don't you mean good afternoon?
Mariel: I mean goodnight, or I'll brain you with this haversack!
Dandin: Oh, righto. Goodnight!
- It's especially entertaining in the audio version - some particularly good voice acting on the part of Dandin's actor.
- Pretty much anything Blaggut does.
- At supper, he asks Mellus where the mousebabe and molebabe are, and calls her "stripedog". She glares at him, and responds tightly that they're in bed and her name is Mellus, not "stripedog". Completely unaware of how angry he'd just made her, Blaggut responds cheerfully:Blaggut: Pleased t'meet yer, Mellers. My name's Blaggut, but the Cap'n 'ere calls me fat'ead an' lazypaws an' baggybum an' suchlike names. Hoho, 'e's a one fer names, is the Cap'n!
(Slipp kicks him)
Slipp: Will you stow all that 'Cap'n, Cap'n'! Yer an addle-nosed, bottlebrained, butterbellied barnacle!
- At supper, he asks Mellus where the mousebabe and molebabe are, and calls her "stripedog". She glares at him, and responds tightly that they're in bed and her name is Mellus, not "stripedog". Completely unaware of how angry he'd just made her, Blaggut responds cheerfully:
- Durry gets swept overboard, and Joseph, without thinking, grabs "the thing nearest to him - Foremole." He swings Foremole over the rail by his feet so he can grab Durry.
- Finnbar, when asked what a shark looks like, explains that usually all one will see is the fin, to which Rufe responds "Does it look like this one circling our ship, sir?"
- Nearly everything that comes out of the unnamed Mousebabe's mouth. When Blaggut asks him to swear not to tell anyone about some scheme, the little one takes him literally.
- Mousebabe: We don't swear. It's not nice to swear. You get senta bed.
- The mousebabe, and his mole friend, proceed to totally mangle the oath Blaggut cooks up. Blaggut goes with it anyway.
- "Mercy, yer honour. That stuff's water - it's all wet!"
- Later on, the two stoats cheer after Sister Nasturtium's song about Martin, and then get confused when they realise they're cheering even though they don't know who Martin is.
Martin the Warrior
- Any argument between Fleabane and Rotnose.
- Scenes with Clogg are generally humorous.
Outcast of Redwall
- Balefur's entire introduction scene.Swartt: "I am Swartt Sixclaw, leader of this horde!"Balefur: "Aye, so you are. What else is new, ferret?"
- Bryony and Togget ask for information from a bankvole, who's a little obsessed with the idea that Veil died from going over a waterfall. "Ferret smashed inta bits! 'Ead one place, paws another, tail inna nundred bits. Smashed ferret! Yeeheehee!"
- Most of what Veil says to Swartt, but especially "Some warlord you are. I've seen more action from a squashed frog!"
- Jodd's full name.
Pearls of Lutra
- This moment:Tansy: "Put a paw near that frosting, and I'll smack it with this spoon!"
- Most scenes with Clecky and Garrul together. Clecky is very highstrung and Garrul is very laidback, which makes for some interesting dialogue.
The Long Patrol
- "If brains wuz bread, youda starved to death afore you was born!"
- Having just captured the Painted Ones, the hares shout out recipes for cooking one. When others ask for some, Rockjaw Grang responds that he's been doing all the carrying so this one is his and the others should get their own; this one's going in a hotpot. After Major Perigord remarks that they are not really going to eat the rat, Rockjaw simply says, "spoilsport!".
- Rockjaw threatening to bean Lieutenant Morio with a pie for calling him Russano's "pretty little nurse" after the badgerbabe is christened.
- Tammo attempting to speak like a vermin for his undercover mission with Midge and Rockjaw. His accent is so bad that they both decide he should just pretend to be mute.
- Two incompetent rats in Damug's army, Sneezewort and Lousewort. At one point, they smack into each other twice in their hurry to get away from someone.
- The Duel of Insults.
- Florian vs. Dwopple the mousebabe. "Madame, that wretch shot me in the posterior, and called me a rabbit t'boot!"
- When the Redwall group finds Florian's troupe of actors, the actors' cart is stuck in mud with most of them trying to pull it out. Florian himself, meanwhile, is posing on top of the cart "like the captain of a sinking ship".
- Florian in general, really. Even his badass moments are guaranteed to have some comedy to them, such as the story of how he saved his troupe from a tribe of angry frogsby way of eating blackberries while loudly yelling about how much he liked eating tadpoles and thanking his friends for saving a few frogs for him. The frogs proceeded to flee for their lives.
- Song's grandma, Ellayo, is fiercer than just about anyone in the book. It's to the point that when she threatens to tan the tail of her grown son, he backs down because she will seriously do it.
- Also, Ellayo discovering that she is apparently the adoptive mother of no less than twelve hedgehogs, owing to her long lost husband having brought them home with him when they are reunited.
- One of the main group threatens, "If you die, I'l never speak to you again!"
- Nearly everything having to do with Dotti. The girl is a one-hare comedy routine.
- When in a boasting challenge against Bucko, Bucko starts with a tirade listing his name and accomplishments. Dotti congratulates him on knowing his own name like a big boy. Further along, as the crowd is laughing it's noted that some laughs sound suspiciously hare-like.
- Lord Brocktree and Dotti's interactions. A particularly nice one is when she shares her aunt's introduction letter with him. She thinks he's upset at how rude it is, he's trying not to cry with laughter.
- The Rabble hedgehogs constantly getting words wrong. Examples include:Mirklewort: *to her son Skittles* H'I'll skelp yore tail wiv a big stick! Go an' play! Can't yer see this is a serious conservation?[...]Baron Drucco: They're probably off at a celerybrashun or somethin'.Log a Log Grenn: Celerybrashun?Mirklewort: Don't let our big words fool ye, marm. Drucco means they've gone to a party o' some sort.[...]Mirklewort: Oh, hush yer whinin', Drucco! If'n we wants the haremaid to win, we have t' make some sacriphones!Ruff: I reckon we gotta make some sacrifices, too, marm!Mirklewort: *nods sagely* Them, too!
- On that front, Baron Drucco and Mirklewort together. Drucco is an enormous hedgehog leader, but it appears that his wife, wiry little Mirklewort, is the real leader of the Rabble.
- Skittles has apparently wandered off no less than four times since he was born. He is exactly two seasons old, and is probably the most precocious Dibbun in the series.
- Practically every single exchange Jukka and Fleetscut have. Particularly the bit where he eats a load of unripe apples...
- The scene where Ripfang and Doomeye try to break into the chamber where Ungatt Trunn is keeping the hares locked up. It could easily be pure Nightmare Fuel, considering that what the two rats want to do after they've broken in is eat the hares, but they're so totally stupid and incompetent it's one of the funniest scenes in the book.
- Plugg manages to get the better of the princess by promising her the best cabin on the ship... which is indeed the case, but it's also the one most likely to induce seasickness.
- The loss of Plugg's tail and everything rising from it, particularly when after going to extreme lengths to hide the fact that it got cut off he rips it off and waves it around himself when he gets overexcited.
- Flinky and company. At least before they kill poor Junty the Cellarhog. Luckily Laser-Guided Karma catches up to them.
- Tiria Wildlough meets Brantalis the barnacle goose when he just sort of lands on top of her.
- Leatho joking around with Kolun's babies.
- Most of Deedero's scenes. During one of them, she sarcastically asks Leatho if he would mind rescuing the poor, cold families on the other side of the bay at some point that season.
- The baby otter telling Tiria and Leatho her names for them: "Kweemarm" and "Fleeko Spellbrown", respectively.
- Most times when Riggu Felis and his treacherous son Pitru meet, they exchange petty insults like teenage girls who showed up at the same place wearing the same outfit.
- Abbess Lycian brains a rat with a teapot. Later on, it's shown that the teapot is now stuck on his head.