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Meinos Kaen must've had a grand time writing this story up.

Currently the game is in version 2.03, at week 15. Expect updates as the story progresses.

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    Story 
  • In an effort to keep David from being arrested by the police (as he landed in the market district via meteor), Penny effortlessly lifts him overhead and hauls ass away.
    David: WHAT!
    • After reaching a safe distance, Penny realizes David may need a new change of clothes. While she's willing to spot him...
    Penny: To be safe, though, it's better if you wait for me inside that dumpster.

  • After a heartwarming moment where David agrees to be Penny's friend as repayment for helping him out, she tackles him in a hug. Now remember, she's a gynoid in disguise....
    David: (OH MY GOD SHE'S HEAVY! HOW?! WHY?!)
    Penny: Oh I'm so happy! I made a new friend!
    David: P-Penny, not to be rude, but I need air!
    Penny: Oh! Sorry!
    David: (Whew... how can someone so petite weigh so much?)

  • David expresses his gratitude that the first person he met on Remnant was a pretty girl (Penny). Sadly, it goes right over her head.
    (Whelp. That works but now I can't finish my milk.)

  • After being brought to Ozpin's office, he asks Penny to describe how the morning went. Glynda asks for every detail, no matter how small. Ironwood has a knowing smile on his face before Penny delivers a lengthy explaination.
    Ozpin: I see. Thanks for your exhaustiveness, Penny.
    Penny: My pleasure, Headmaster.

  • While David and Penny are allowed to stay at Beacon, they have to prove able to stand and learn with the other students. Penny literally drags him to the Amphitheatre to assess his ability to fight.
    (Penny has pretty much dragged me nonstop to the elevator, out of the tower and through the school grounds where, of course, I couldn't escape the gazes of a few students. Some pointed. Others laughed. Some seemed yet almost sympathetic.)

  • On their way to their room, Penny tries looking for Ruby. As David offers to help, Ruby walks up right behind her. David catches notice of this, and proceeds to describe the silver-eyed girl, with Penny commentating. Ruby alternates looks of surprise and insult. But when Penny suggests an expansion of clothing—
    Ruby: No! Nonono! I do NOT need fashion advice from Weiss! And my combat skirt is awesome!
    • Penny then realizes Ruby's with them, and proceeds to deliver another tackle hug.
      • After being released, Ruby then looks over David, before giving him the pointer finger.
    (Penny looks as surprised as me when Ruby suddenly thrusts her right index finger in my direction, stretching her whole arm to point at me. Which, considering I'm 5'10", is kind of a comical image.)

  • Ruby then proceeds to call him lacking (a weapon) and brings out Crescent Rose. David's reaction is appropriate.
    • As David is lacking a weapon, Penny plays Ruby like a fiddle to get her to make it. Mind you they've only 3 days before Ozpin's exam. She, of course, demands cookies as repayment.

  • Ruby and Penny, after locating the room David and Penny are assigned, head to the Mess Hall to bring back some food for David. He decides to take a nap... only to be awoken by a rabbit Faunus trying to use her Semblance on him. What doesn't help is that she's practically straddling him. She's so into it that she doesn't notice he's awake.... and then Ruby and Penny return, the latter tackling the rabbit Faunus off the bed... or at least tries to.
    (Oh wow, never seen a flying tackle executed with such precision.)
    • Evelyn, said rabbit Faunus, is then revealed to be David and Penny's teammate. Penny proceeds to push a bed closer to David's, as if to guard him. Evelyn is simply amused by this.
      • Evelyn turns up The Gadfly in her during breakfast the next morning. In an attempt to keep Evelyn from escalating a joke, David puts his hand over her mouth. She responds the only way she can.
    David: You ... you licked me.
    Evelyn: You were keeping a hand over my mouth.
    David: You. Licked. My hand!
    Evelyn: And it was delicious. Fufufu....

  • Ruby ends up pulling an allnighter to get David's weapon completed. She complains of Yang treating her like a baby.
    • This gets a Brick Joke later, when Yang is properly introduced to the team.

  • For the exam, David, Evelyn and Penny are sent into the Emerald Forest to find their last team member and slay a certain Grimm. David learns about being launched.
    David: YOU GREY-HAIRED ASSHOOOOOOOOOOOOOLE!!!
    David: (hitting tons of trees): OW! ACK! UGH! HATEYOUOZ- HELP- OWIEEEEE!!!

  • After the Grimm in question is defeated, Ozpin shows up for congrats.
    Penny: You were watching?
    Ozpin: Not this closely all the time, but did you really think we would let four children enter this forest on a dangerous mission without supervision—
    Evelyn: Yes!
    Jack: For all we know you went all the way to Mistral to get a Wa-Lang to make this test even more difficult!
    (A Beat as Ozpin shows surprise...)
    Ozpin: (smiling) Why children, do you think I would ever—-
    Evelyn & Jack: YES!

  • First day of classes and everyone's busy getting into uniform. As David's the only guy on the team, he takes the bathroom. He has the courtesy to ask if Evelyn's decent, but she, in true gadfly fashion, responds.
    David: Evelyn? Can I come out?
    Evelyn: Of course you can! The real question is: should you? Fufufu....
    David: All right, other question: Have you one-hundred percent finished changing into your uniform?
    Evelyn: Oh no, he's learning! He's soon going to overthrow his masters!
    David: (having run out of patience) I'm coming out!
    Evelyn: And women everywhere rejoiced!
    • Eventually Penny and Jack convene. Whilst Penny proves to look nice in the uniform, Jack appears wearing the men's uniform.
    Jack: Bloody hell, does it look that bad on me?
    Evelyn: It doesn't and THAT'S THE PROBLEM!

  • When meeting Team RWBY in the cafeteria, David gets increasingly on good terms with Weiss, ending in a First-Name Basis between them. Cue someone in the cafeteria Jaune Arc shouting in exasperation.

  • Day 3 of classes is Combat with Goodwitch. David gets selected to fight Yang. The two have a pun-off.
    Yang: I get to pop your sparring cherry, Di-boy. You should feel honoured.
    David: (I can't help but snort in laughter. That was a bold pun.) Then, I hope you'll be gentle with me...
    [Yang looks surprised as Weiss groans.]
    Yang: Hm, I'll try, but I generally like it rough.
    David: Oh, wow. Sounds like it'll leave you sore~y later.
    Glynda: I-If you two are quite finished....

  • Day 4 of classes. David gets Weiss' scroll number so he can learn from her Dust notes.
    Jaune: OH COME ON!
    David (Oh my Gods is this school haunted or something?!)

  • Day 5. Aura training. As Penny trips over her words of wanting to spend more time with David, Nora and Pyrrha drop in on the conversation. It starts along heartwarming, but when the teacher threatens detention, Pyrrha and Nora have to head back. Nora begins ribbing Pyrrha over nearly getting detention.

  • Day 8, as Grimm Studies is over, David stands up a bit too quickly, accidentally knocking Blake's books over. After assuaging her that he said nothing about her reading material, and that he doesn't think less of her for it...
    Blake Ru—I mean, the last person who found out about it called it 'filth'. (Ouch, harsh.) Confiscated it... (Harsher...) And hit me over the head with it. (Whoa, there!)
    • She then proceeds to guilt-trip him about nearly revealing her 'secret' to the world.
    (I see what you're doing, Miss Belladonna.... and it's working.)

  • Day 9. Oobleck's class is over, and Sun tries drafting David. What for?
    Sun: Brothers-in-arms against the terror of speed-talking!
    David: And Blake's got him whipped.

  • Day 10, Combat Class. Evelyn, in her usual fashion, believes that Penny and she would prevail as the gynoid has, in her own words, "A cute bum and a skirt". Jack tries to dissuade Penny from encouraging her, but then... Evelyn decides to glomp David from behind.
    *pomf*
    Jack: EVELYN!
    Glynda: Miss Ivory!
    Nora: NORA!
    David: (Well, there goes my first detention....)
    • Evelyn's Gadfly antics continue after David heads to the bathroom. She mentions him getting touchy-feely with her (ears). When Penny asks about her interest in David, Evelyn just shrugs. She then encourages Penny to try and catch his eye.

  • Day 14. Whilst out getting food, Jack and David end up discussing Evelyn's actions back in Day 10, namely about Evelyn using her body to get a rise out of him. Convinced he's thinking too hard about it, he puts it out of his mind.
    • Cut to Penny and Evelyn scheming something. After David goes to bed and has a vivid dream concerning an upcoming event he awakens. Turns out the heat was messed with... and he gets quite an eyeful of a barely-dressed Penny, whom was just waiting. The mortification lasts well into the next day.
    Evelyn *whisper* Fufufu, operation Slumber Encounters was a complete success!
    Jack: *whisper* Oh my gods, just go to sleep already, Carrots!

  • Day 15. David's still quite embarassed by last night's... encounter. He refuses to get out of bed, so Jack has to intervene.
    • Class doesn't go well for him—- as his team was early, they all got seats next to each other. He tries to apologize for staring...
    Penny: Oh, it's completely fine! I did not mind your prolonged staring triggered by my attractiveness at all!
    (Evelyn snorts out in barely restrained laughter while I can only gape like a fish.)
    • Thankfully the bell rings, and David takes that moment to haul ass away to lunch. Evelyn proves quite amused.

  • Day 22. David tries to articulate about his Semblance's awakening, and how it related to the dream he had last week. Last week, however, was when operation Slumber Encounters was put into motion.
    Evelyn: You mean you had a boner when you activated your Semblance?
    David: NO I DID NOT! That's not what I meant!

  • Day 23. As Evelyn heads off to report to Ozpin, and Penny heads off to call her father, Jack and David head to the mess hall. Jack is notedly on top of things.... Ruby, not so much.
    Weiss: Ruby. No.
    Ruby: Weiss. Yes.
    Weiss: N.O. No.
    Ruby: Y.A.S. Yes.
    Weiss: You just mispelled yes. HOW DO YOU MISPELL THE WORD YES?!
    Ruby: AS LEADER OF TEAM RWBY I CAN MISPELL WHATEVER I WANT! AND I WILL ALSO HAVE A SECOND SERVING OF CHOCOLATE FUDGE!
    Weiss: YOU'RE GOING TO GET A STOMACHACHE LIKE LAST TIME!
    Ruby: WORTH IT!

  • Day 28 brings Neo's introduction into the story. After seeing Evelyn mess with David, Neo decides she wants in on the fun. She attempts to get him to shake her hand, but is repeatedly stymied by his dodging..... and then she tackles him into submission, even going so far as to bite him.
    Evelyn: WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO YOU?
    David: ...I made a new friend.
    Evelyn: Who exactly did you make friends with? A pack of feral cats?!
    David: No. Just one bitch.
    Neo: (via scroll) I heard that! >:(
    David: (... WHEN THE HELL DID SHE GET MY NUMBER OFF MY SCROLL?!)
    • He then later complains about why it is the weirdos flock to Beacon.... and his team give concerned glances.
    David: Don't look at me like that! We are weird! Team RWBY is weird! At least one member of Team JNPR is weird! WE'RE FULL OF WEIRDOS AND I'M IN THE RUNNING FOR KING WEIRDO JUST BECAUSE I DON'T KNOW THAT MANY GUYS!
    • After managing to calm down and orient his thoughts, he realizes he needs new clothing, as Neo ripped his only good set. Penny and Jack agree, and Evelyn then mentions a new hairstyle....

  • Day 36 starts off with the aftermath of yesterday's battle. It starts off heartwarming as Evelyn tends to a now-awake David, but he soon realizes that due to his last-ditch attack...
    David: Evelyn.
    Evelyn: Yeeeeeeeees?
    David: Who undressed me?
    Evelyn: It was a group effort!
    David: Different question.... WHY AM I NAKED?!
    David: But now I don't have any clothes. Gee, I wish there was a spare set I could use....
    Evelyn: ...you're really bad at this.
    David: I shouldn't be doing this in the first place!
    • Evelyn then drops the bombshell about David. He only began existing when the meteor crashed at the game's beginning. He's not really human. David takes it in stride, causing a mass Facefault from his team.

  • Day 41's evening is the reopening of Junior's Club. Evelyn somehow snuck past Yang and the Malachite Twins. Blake reveals she was in a trench coat. How?
    Blake: Ninja secret. [immediately leaves]
    • David's group finally find Evelyn, whom manages to clean up well in a newly made dress. Penny immediately feels underdressed. Evelyn tries to get her to have fun, not mope.
    Evelyn: No buts! Initiate cheerup.exe!
    Penny: I haven't downloaded that patch yet... Ehm, I mean, what?
    • When that fails, Evelyn decides to make David dance with Penny. Neither of them know how—-
    Evelyn: So does everyone else here! No excuses! [somehow hurls Penny at David!]
    • Penny proves to be far too energetic in dancing. David is utterly wiped.

  • Ruby apparently has too much to drink at the club's reopening.
    Ruby: WHEEEEEEEEEEE! YOU CAN'T CATCH ME WEISS!
    Weiss: YANG THIS IS ALL YOUR FAULT!
    Yang: Aw, come on, let her live a little, I say! *hiccup*
    Blake: The party has officially gone off-rails.
    • As Evelyn drags David off to rest up in the VIP Room, Penny gets roped into helping Weiss catch Ruby.
    Ruby: Hehehe, Penny caught me.... Penny wins!
    Weiss: Never, EVER let her go. In fact, may I suggest the drunk tank, as the vernacular goes?
    • And when Penny goes off to keep Ruby out of trouble....
    Ruby: Weeee! To the dank wank!
    Penny: No, Ruby. Drunk Tank.
    Ruby: Lank Shank?
    Penny: Drunk. Tank.

  • Day 42 starts off with David and Evelyn returning very late from the club. Penny was already up waiting for them, and immediately susses out why they were late. Evelyn hides in the bathroom out of shame.
    • Turns out Penny was not only fine with the situation, she's willing to wait. She then gives David a full kiss on the lips before helping Evelyn to the shower. David is stunned. Thoughts on this development continue into tomorrow.

  • Day 43. Neo calls after class. David is unamused. But when it turns out she has the connections to the criminal underworld, he is forced to accept her terms.
    • Day 44—- Neo meets him at Junior's Club. She immediately takes him dancing... turns out that, for all of her acrobatic skills, she's a horrid dancer. And just when it seems like David is going to get some info from the Ice-cream headed hellion, as he dubbed her, Emerald shows up to whisk her away. David loses it, and gets a fist to the stomach for his troubles.

  • Day 46 has the return of Professor Peach. Weiss is practically beside herself in glee, whilst Ruby is notably downcast. Talk about a role reversal.

  • Day 49 has the group out in Vale trying to follow Neo's lead on Weser van Goethe. Evelyn wants to partner up with David, but both Jack and Penny see right through it.
    • Howard and Bella are in the area, waiting for their boss to finish negotiations on a rental. Bella decides she'll just go find David and ask him nicely to come with them, completely ditching Howard. She finds David.... and decides to tackle him.
    David: WHY DO PEOPLE KEEP BODY-CHECKING EACH OTHER IN THIS GODS DAMNED CITY!
    • After a small conversation, David catches sight of Emerald going by and chases her down. Bella, however, gets the wrong idea.

  • Day 52. The team notices that Goodwitch is being a touch lax compared to usual. Then they notice that Professor Peach is with her. Her perkiness in contrast with Glynda's strict, by the book approach makes for a good laugh.
    • The reveal that first and second-year students will be taking part in exhibition matches, with the Vytal Festival coming up. Despite David's misgivings, he promises not to sit out if he gets chosen.

  • Day 53. The nominations for the exhibition matches are up, and Peach is the one to call them out. Weiss practically squeals for Peach to read off the chosen students. JNPR gets chosen for the team battle, and David sighs one breath of relief.... before being chosen to partner with Penny against Coco and Velvet.
    David: [on seeing Coco] (Someone call the catwalk, they lost a model here.)
    • Penny proves unflappable, quite certain that Coco's assentation of victory is misplaced. Coco is surprised... then decides that the challenge is accepted.
    David: PROFESSOR NO ONE IS RETIRING HERE EITHER! CAN WE PLEASE HURRY?!
    Peach: Eeeeeh? But you were having such a wonderful bonding experience.
    • Overall, the only disappointed party is Evelyn, as she isn't selected to take part. David just gives up trying to make sense of things.

  • Day 54. Bella somehow got David's Scroll number. Howard got it when searching their room. As their plan to get more info from Bella involves having her on campus, where she can be supervised if things get out of hands, it goes smoothly... until Bella mentions needing to bring her escort. David asks (platonically) if said friend is as pretty as Bella, and Penny, of all people, pinches him.

  • Day 56. The Exhibition matches are set to begin. Bella and Thilla enter the grounds, and Bella immediately latches onto David. Penny just goes with it. Even Thilla looks weirded out!
    Penny: My name is Penny. I'm going to be David's partner for this exhibition match.
    Bella: Oooooooh.... well, make sure to protect him and make him look good and you can be one of my bridesmaids.
    Penny: That is my prime directive as of now!

  • Professor Peach is a riot. Aside from gloriously hamming it up, she somehow ropes Glynda into being her co-commentator. Take for example, this bit from Jack v. Weiss.
    Peach: AND WITH A FIRST CLASS PUNCH TICKET TO THE NEAREST WALL, MISS SCHNEE'S AURA IS IN THE RED! THE MATCH IS OVER! WHAT A DAY, SPORTS FANS! WHAT A REVELATION!
    Glynda: PROFESSOR PEACH, MISS SCHNEE HAS PASSED OUT! SHE MIGHT HAVE A CONCUSSION!
    Peach: I KNOW! ISN'T THAT AWESOME!!

  • Right before David and Penny's match against Coco and Velvet, Peach delivers again.
    Peach: Ladies and gentlemen of the audience, I hope you're still with us! And you'll be happy to know that Miss Schnee is mostly unharmed!
    Glynda: There's.... nothing 'mostly' unharmed about two broken ribs and a damaged coccyx.
    Peach: My mic partner, you're really killing my vibe right now.
    Glynda: I'm your what partner, now?!

  • Bella is a... touch jealous of seeing Evelyn so close to David. Especially when, right after glomping him, he turns the situation around with a kiss.
    Thilla: Bella, no.
    Bella: Must....kill....BOOBS.

  • For the opening move, as David takes on Coco, he knows that in a straight fight, he won't win. It's why he has a different strategy: outrun and ambush her! He uses some Dust to offset her, but as for what Peach sees.....
    Peach: My natural Dust collection, DID MR. DI KABEGIS JUST SHOOT FIRE FROM HIS CROTCH!

  • David does land the first blow against Coco, via hiding in a fountain... sadly, he doesn't get the chance to follow up, as Coco brings out her gun.
    • David, in an effort to get Coco to stop shooting, reveals that he lined his coat with tons of Dust. One bullet just grazing him would cause a massive explosion, potentially taking them both out. Coco, out of respect for his plan, folds her gun back up.... but then reminds him—-
    Coco: But you do realize I can kick your ass with it even while it's a purse, right?

  • David, in a moment of duress, manages to awaken his Semblance's second effect, causing his right eye to become like Evelyn's. Coco, however, has a different opinion.
    Coco: And now you activate your Semblance? This is ridiculous! What are you, a video game character?
    David: Hey, apologize to video game characters right now! Feats of might in times of extreme stress is a pretty well documented occurence, you know!

  • David, seeing that he's in a losing situation against Coco and her weapon, even with his Semblance awakening (his aura is quickly running out)...
    David: Soooooooooooooooooooooooo.....
    Coco: Soooooooooooooooooooooo?
    David:[books it] Penny, I'm Cooooooo~ooooming!!!
    Coco: YOU LITTLE SHIT! [Chases after him]
    • ....leads the enraged second-year back to where Velvet and Penny are fighting.... and uses his weapon to hook Penny's arm.
    David: I'm not letting go if you aren't!
    [Cut to a mass reaction shot of everyone wondering what the hell he's going to try.]
    Penny: [Catching onto his plan] Affirmative!
    David: Yeeessss....
    [Penny takes this moment to swing David into Coco, and then the both of them into Velvet. Remember his shirt was filled with Dust Crystals?]
    [Another mass reaction shot. Everyone is either stunned, or wincing. Evelyn, however, looks quite impressed.]
    Peach: [at a loss for words] So, uhm... the only person whose aura is not in the red is... Miss Polendina.
    Glynda: Yes. Mr. di Kabegis is also unconscious, and his aura is completely gone.
    Peach: So, uhm... I guess the winners are... Miss Polendia and Mr. di Kabegis?
    Glynda: *sigh* Yes.
    Peach: Ehm, hooray. And now we should probably check on them.
    Bella: Thilla, did big brother go crazy?
    Thilla: Probably... *snort*

  • Day 57. Peach is just tickled pink about how David used raw Dust during the fight.
    Peach: Nowadays most people only use dust in the crystallized forms. Bullets, crystals, cannonballs, warheads...
    David: Wait what was that last one?
    • Peach then goes on to cheefully talk about how she feels about Ozpin's general movements. Her implied vocal tone doesn't match the words.

  • David goes to re-join his team at lunch. Evelyn and Penny are pretty much all over him.
    David: [in response to Penny using Evelyn's nickname of "hunky man-meat" for David] (If Penny joins Evelyn I'm done for.)
    • When Jack reveals her middle name, Belinda, in response to Evelyn's info about Bella's declaration of war against someone with that name, the group... takes it well.
    Penny: Actually, Jack-hehehe— you're the first person I have knowledge of named Belinda whose hasn't passed her fifties.
    Evelyn: OHMYGOD! ISABELLA ANSELMA IVORY!
    Penny: THERE IS NO ONE IN THE ATLAS ANAGRAPH YOUNGER THAN 65 WITH THAT NAME!

  • Day 58. Fox tries to unsettle David. Coco is still a touch sore at the end result of the match.
    Coco: Asked you a question, Fox.
    Fox: Reconnaissance on your nemesis.
    Coco: My what now?
    David: Her what now?
    Fox: [after being asked to stop] So I should stop looking for any openings you could use to shove your purse up his--
    Coco & David: YES! ALSO PLEASE STOP TALKING!
    • Coco begrudgingly gives her congrats for the win, but promises that next time will be different.
    David: ....did I just get a rival?
    • Later that day, David calls Bella's scroll. The ringtone she assigned for him? What is Love.

  • Day 63. David finds himself mentally unprepared for the upcoming meeting.
    Evelyn: [via scroll] As a directly involved party, I inform you that you're too young to start having performance issues, David.
    Penny: [via scroll] Maybe he needs a defragmentation?
    David: What.

  • Day 65. Evelyn has been keeping a close eye on David, after the Mood Whiplash involved in Day 63. Paint yourself a mental picture of her peering around a corner....
    • Penny gives a good zing against Jack, having offered to read Thilla's swiped journal.
    Penny: Hehehe, don't worry, I'll be sure to rest up... unlike your partner.
    Jack: Hmmmm, you're lucky I'm dead tired or we'd be having words, right now.... zzzzzzzzz.
    • After a rather touching conversation between David and Penny concerning their relationship...
    Jack: Hmmm .... get a room.
    Jack: Hmmm... teenagers...

  • Day 66. In trying to find Penny, the group finds themselves out in Vale past curfew. Glynda gets sent to apprehend them, but Evelyn's Semblance reveals the information they were missing. After a moment of apology to Miss Goodwitch, it seems things are set for a contemplative episode...
    Glynda: [to herself] Would a good teacher lie and go behind the backs of her students?
    Glynda: What—you!
    Qrow: How am I supposed to make a good entrance with no one to save, hmmmm? Hmmmmmm....
    Glynda: Qrow, you're drunk.
    Qrow: Always drunk.
    • When they get back to Beacon, David reveals that Jack had a discussion with them.
    David: Moving on, fearless leader, should we get to your command?
    Jack: Great idea, partner. I think it's the only way we can end this night.
    Evelyn: I'm in complete agreement! On the count of three?
    David: THREE! [David, Evelyn and Jack immediately dogpile Penny]
    Penny: AAAAAAAAH! GUYS!
    Evelyn: Ahahaha! For once, Penny is the target!
    David: I know, right?! Feel the full weight of our love!
    Penny: [utterly bewildered] T-this is what I do to peop—-AH! NOT THE COLLAR!
    Jack: Hehehe, just watch your hands, partner!
    David: Eh, it's not me! Not that I don't, I mean, you've got a nice...
    Jack: Eh, then who—- CARROTS!

  • Day 67. The team discuss things with Peach regarding last night's events. Evelyn remains herself.
    Evelyn: Hmmm, still hungry. Don't distract yourself.
    David: How much of this is really about you being tired and how much is it about wanting to be pampered?
    Evelyn: Hmmmm... fifty-fifty?

  • Day 68. Penny uses David's scroll to call Thilla up and invite her to talk. All whilst cheerfully stating that if they have to come to blows, Thilla won't be leaving easily.
    Thilla: [barely restraining a smile] Pffffft! What.... what a weird girl.

  • Day 69. While out trying to find Penny during day 66, David, Evelyn and Jack meet Madonna, whom seems rather nice, and was on her way to Beacon come Saturday. After a proper introduction at Beacon, she thinks Jack is David's girlfriend. When the record is set straight concerning David's relationship, and it's been pointed out that she's an author...
    Madonna: Polyamory. In real life. In a school setting. [zips over to David's side, a devious grin on her face] My dear boy, you simply MUST tell me more!
    • After being forced to spill the beans, David, Jack and Madonna enter the mess hall, where Madonna sights her target. Cue teams RWBY and JNPR entering the mess hall whilst talking about one of Pyrrha's toughest fights in her prior tournaments.... against someone that had a repeating wooden stake launcher.
    Jaune: Vampires aren't real, Nora...
    Madonna: Really now? I remember you were convinced otherwise the first time Theresa came back home late.
    Jaune: Aw, come on, I was a little boy! What was I supposed to think when I see my older sister come back with her neck—-
    Jaune: [now very scared] You... you can't...
    Madonna: I can't what, Jauney-poo?
    Pyrrha: [mortified] J-J-J-Jauney-poo?
    Ren: Jaune, who is this woman?
    Nora: I like it! Jauuuuney-poo! Blondy scaredy flaily all stuffed with fluff!
    Madonna: Well? Where's my hug?
    Madonna: [Pissed off] YOU COME BACK HERE RIGHT THIS MOMENT, JAUNE ARC! [takes off after him incredibly fast]
    • Madonna chases Jaune all throughout the Mess Hall, shouting at him for his sudden disappearance from home, and nails him with a sandal to the head.... that she brought on purpose.
    • When Pyrrha finds out that Madonna is Jaune's mother, she practically teleports to Madonna's side to introduce herself! Sadly, Madonna had gotten the idea that NORA is Jaune's girlfriend, due to her being the only one whom stood up in Jaune's defense, everyone else wondering what the hell's going on. Poor Pyrrha cracks. Nora decides to milk it for all it's worth.
    Yang: Pfffft, Blake is gonna be SO sorry she missed this! It's straight out of one of her books!
    • On Day 72, once classes are finished, she reveals that she hacked Beacon's network to nab David's Scroll number. She had promised to be in contact, after all.
    Madonna: I have a fan who has a friend. Also Vale's scroll and computer network is apparently pathetically easy to hack into.
    • Speaking of books, her business proposal to David on Day 73 was to use his life experiences as inspiration for her short story anthology. She already had four different versions ready!
    Evelyn: (after reading one of Madonna's drafts) David.... We've GOT to try thiiiiiis...
    David: Try what, Ev— [realizes just what Evelyn is reading]...Oh. Uhm, ah-ehm.
    Madonna: Let's just say I have a lot of experience writing these kinds of scenes.
    • One of the options is to tell her about Neon Katt. She gets right to work, and is crazy fast about getting a first draft ready. The characterization in Madonna's story is a riot!

  • When Penny and Thilla meet, they move to the gardens to have their discussion. Thilla catches Penny off-guard by using her statement about the gardens against her.
    Thilla: You were right. It's really pretty here.
    Penny: Yes, a lot of people come from Vale just to hang around this area. I think 65 percent are couples. (All right, Penny... you can do it. You're prepared for all possible outcomes. You just need—-)
    Thilla: Do you come here with David a lot?
    Penny: (WAHWAHWAHWAH! I was NOT prepared for that!) Ehm.. No, not really... I mean, you think I should? I haven't...
    Thilla: Pfffft, you're so obvious, Penny.
    • After dropping a Wham Line through her investigations surrounding Bella and Thilla Thilla and Bella, aka Isabella Ivory, swapped souls somehow, Thilla gets refreshingly blunt and just tells Penny she could've started with that from the word go.
    Penny: (Uuuuuuuuuuuh! She sees right through me!)

  • In the aftermath of Penny's battle against Thilla, she finally decides to come clean about her true nature as a gynoid capable of generating an Aura. David's response?
    [Both Evelyn and Jack Dope Slap him for that]
    • Peach comes up to let them know their grounding has been lifted, in exchange for extra-curricular activities guided by her. They decide to let Peach in on the situation.
    Peach: People born of meteors. Voices in your head. And magic.
    David: Sounds crazy, right?
    Peach: Crazy! Absurd! Completely new ground! We're talking about things that would've gotten you laughed out of scientific debates just for enunciating... and yet here you stand before me! Ooooh, the secrets that await.... This! This is what a scientist lives for!

  • Day 73. On their way to meet with Madonna, Evelyn and David realize there are two cafes in Vale. They go to head to one, but get stopped by Winter, whom apparently cleared out the entire cafe.... just so Enrico Polendina, Penny's father, could have tea.
    Enrico: [in response to Winter trying to object] And I objected to you clearing out an entire establishment just to get me a cup of tea. We're both getting disappointed today.
    • On Day 74, upon formally meeting the team, Enrico still ribs Winter about the earlier situation. As he's chatting with Team JPDE, Weiss gets quite surprised to see her sister.

  • Enrico Polendina, after sharing information about Penny's Senza_Fili and hinting about Evelyn's eyes, asks for a cup of blood from the team, in order to help unravel more answers concerning them. David realizes too late that he should've asked about the size of the cup first.

  • Day 77. The team heads out to Peak to follow a lead on pyrobsidian, the metal used in the lighter that belonged to Jack's father, which has been in Bella's possession. Peach makes the team get up at an ungodly hour, and is still so exceedingly cheery.
    • To get past the field around Peak, David activates his Semblance, channeling Pyrrha's Semblance and levitating Penny and himself up to the pyrobsidian railing on an outlying wall.
    Evelyn: Hax! I call hax!
    • After meeting with The Boss, David awakens from his out of body experience and informs the group.
    Peach: Mr. di Kabegis, if it wasn't against school rules I'd be kissing you right now!
    Evelyn: Sorry, we've reached our yearly allowance of interactions with crazy groupies. Try next semester.

  • Day 84 starts with a return trip to Peak.
    Peach: I may not be an active hunter anymore, but rest assured I can leave any student a bloodless shriveling husk in a matter of seconds!
    • Mercury shows some Hidden Depths. How? Complaining about the cafeteria food.
    Mercury: It's all the same slosh. No character in it at all. Quantities over quality.
    • As Aura can't be used within Peak, lest they go unconscious, Peach has to drop her aura to create an old-school entrance via rope and grapple.
    Peach: Hm, swinging it around without Aura was an experience... maybe I should tell Glynda to add non-aura fighting to the curriculum?
    • Penny and Mercury find something that's creating part of the suppression field. They move in to destroy it.
    Peach: [via scroll] Maybe not completely, please? Teacher wants to study this specimen!

  • Day 91: Titania, after intense study by Peach and Enrico, is brought to Beacon to interact with everyone. Peach is besides herself in giddy glee.
    • When meeting the team, Titania wonders who picked her name. Evelyn had pegged her as Quicksilver, whilst Jack went with Metallica.
    Titania: Wooooooooooooow, dodged a bullet there.... Nevermind that, Titania is fine.
    • Titania's request? To live.
    Evelyn: Teach, you're gonna have to narrow down the existentianlism for us.
    • Titania's idea of "getting comfortable" while Peach is conversing with Jack and Evelyn? Laying across David, flustering him and irritating Evelyn.
    Evelyn: ...and what exactly are you doing you chrome-headed bimbo?!
    Titania: Ahahah! Wow, for a bunny you sure got some claws.
    Evelyn: The better to pluck your eyes out with. GET OFF MY BOYFRIEND!
    Titania: Aw, come on, don't be so stingy. You share him with Penny, don't you?
    Evelyn: The difference being Penny is my partner and I love and trust her. YOU'RE CURRENTLY ON MY SHIT-LIST YOU METAL SKANK!!
    • As Penny is preparing to undergo her procedure, she has a heart to heart with her father. While he does understand her request...
    Enrico: Although I should probably..... have some words with Mr. di Kabegis.
    Penny: P-please nothing too harsh?
    Enrico: I will try. But as a father figure, it is in my given duties to put the fear of god into my daughter's boyfriends.
    • Ciel Soliel drops a bombshell after Enrico leaves... In JPDE, she's a gynoid just like Penny. Penny takes this extremely well.
    Ciel: That's... you're not bothered by this?
    • Back with the group, arrangements have been made for the return trip to Peak. Evelyn... is still irritated with Titania.
    Evelyn: Oh just begone already you iron THOT!
    • As for how Jack and David deal with Evelyn? Lots of patience.
    David: Also love. I've noticed that tends to shut you up.
    • Penny returns, having decided to postpone the operation to add some extras.
    Evelyn: (In very small text) Raaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaailgun.

  • Day 92: Ciel, as stated in the previous day, is assigned to keep tabs on Penny. Penny is taking things remarkably well....
    Evelyn: Eyes and miscellaneous appendages off the redhead. I'm watching you.

  • Day 98: Back at Peak, David and Evelyn are worried for Penny, but ultimately resolve to return to welcome her warmly.
    Titania: Ooooooooooooohhhh Gooooooooooooooods come out already! I'm about to puke!
    Evelyn: Look at that. The witch is weak to the power of love. Not surprised in the slightest.
    Titania: Love is fine. Mush gives me herpes!
    • The reveal of what they're going to acquire? A piece of Titania. The music cuts out as Evelyn slowly backs away, comedic sound effect going all the while. What she really means is the material that formed her, which will absorb the suppression field's effect, leaving everyone else's auras unaffected.
    Peach: As a woman of science I call dibs on the biggest piece!
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    Voice Team Skits 
Rabble
  • Rabble, the first installment in JPDE Voice Team, sets the mood with Jaune having some difficulty saying the game's title. Such attempts include "Jap-ah-dee", "Jeopardy!", and "Jeepersdeen" before he finally gives up in exasperation.
  • After David calls Jaune a "shonen reject", the two of the quarrel by yelling "rabble rabble rabble" at each other, all while Sun pleads them to stop.
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