- When Mr. Banks returns home to find Miss Andrew gone, Mrs. Banks (not knowing that Mary Poppins scared Miss Andrew into leaving) explains that the children acted so rude, she left early. Mr. Banks scolds Jane and Michael, but also gives each of them sixpence as thanks.
I'm a most unfortunate man," he went on, putting his hands into his pockets. "Here am I slaving day in and day out to bring you up properly, and how do you repay me? By being rude to Miss Andrew! It's shameful! It's outrageous. I don't know that I shall ever be able to forgive you. But" he continued, taking two sixpences out of his pocket and solemnly offering one to each of them, "I shall do my best to forget!"
- While Jane and Michael call each other ugly, Mary Poppins ends the fight by telling them that the most beautiful person in the house is "nobody by the name of Banks!"
♫ We love to laugh
Loud and long and clear ♫
- The 'I Love To Laugh' scene.
- Bert's joke to Mary's old uncle Albert is funny despite the fact that it really wasn't a very good joke.
Bert: I always say there's nothing like a good joke.
Uncle Albert: [sobbing] No, and that was nothing like a good joke.
- The other jokes:
- "I know a man with a wooden leg named Smith. What's the name of his other leg?"
- "My grandfather had a nightmare and was so scared that he chewed his pillow to bits. I asked him, 'How do you feel, Granddad?' and he said, 'Not bad. A little down in the mouth.'"
- "My brother has a nice cushy job in a watch factory?" "What does he do?" "He stands around all day and makes faces."
- "The other day it was so cold and my friend went to buy some long underwear. The tailor asked how long he wanted the underwear and my friend said, 'From about September to March.'"
- The ending where Bert makes what Van Dyke referred to as his Stan Laurel face. (Van Dyke was a huge fan of Laurel.)
- "Step In Time":
- Mrs. Brill: she sees an army of chimney sweepers and screams, "THEY'RE AT IT AGAIN!" Then tries to fight them with a frying pan, to which they respond "They're at it again! Step in time!" What's not to love?
- Or when Ellen the maid screams, and they respond? "Aaah! Step in time!" Although Ellen tries to run, the sweeps flip her onto her feet, and she needs very little persuasion to start dancing with them afterwards.
- Or when the maid sees the dad walk in... and is horrified.
Chimney Sweepers: "What's all this! Step in time!
- However, Mrs. Banks really takes away the gold for that scene. She walks into the room, acting as if everything is normal. Then gets grabbed by the sweepers and all she can say is, "Oh no really, not at the moment." But the best part is right after, when the men cry out "VOTES FOR WOMEN" at the top of their lungs. What does she do? Naturally, she joins in, and the tune switches over to "Sister Suffragette" without missing a beat.
- The fact Mrs Banks's reaction to her house being invaded by chimney sweeps is to yell "Votes for Women" at them.
- That bit at the end with the last sweeper running to catch up with the others was good, too.
- Michael tries to sneak out dressed as a sweeper ("Good luck, guvna.") It almost works! The look on Mr. Banks' face is priceless.
- Mrs. Banks had another good moment with her line:
"Oh, George! You didn't jump in the river! How sensible of you!"
- Mr. Dawes Sr.(Dick Van Dyke) muddles over Bank's joke and really starts to get into it. It's awesome watching him shoot up into the air like a rocket laughing only for Jr. to cry, "FATHER! COME BACK! DADDY!!!"
- "Sister Suffragette":
- The story of how Glynis Johns was hired: she would only do it if she got her own song, so the Sherman Brothers quickly changed the lyrics of a Mary song that they'd discarded. The song, of course, was "Sister Suffragette", and Glynis sang the hell out of it, despite her limited vocal range. She would later go on to originate the role of Desiree in Stephen Sondheim's A Little Night Music, where she sang "Send in the Clowns" to great acclaim.
- During the song itself, while Mrs. Banks and her servants are signing about this noble cause, Katie Nana is trying to get their attention, to no avail. When the three start parading around the room, she's forced to chase after them.
- There's also the high-pitched squeal from the other ladies as Winifred lifts up her skirt to reveal her bloomers.
- And Mrs Banks gets a taste of what that's like quickly after. As George comes home and starts singing "The Life I Lead", Winifred is trying to tell him the children are missing. But he's too busy singing to pay attention.
- Admiral Boom, especially when he orders the attack on the 'hot-n-tots'.
- When Bert is dancing with the penguins, after he pulls his pants back up, the face he makes is hilarious. It's at 1:20 in this video. It's even funnier because he makes that demented face for literally no reason.
- This exchange:
Mr. Banks: And one more thing, when I sit down to play the piano, I expect it to be in tune!
Mrs. Banks: But George...you don't play.
Mr. Banks: Madam, that is entirely beside the point!
- The Constable talking to the Inspector over the phone:
Constable Jones: He's been found! No, alive... while I assume he's so, he's here kissing the missus.
(on the phone to the Inspector) That's what I said, sir. Go fly a kite!
No.. sir, I don't mean you personally
- The umbrella mouthing off, and Mary Poppins clamps his mouth shut.
Mary: Close your mouth, Michael, we are not a codfish.
- After Mr. Banks hires Mary Poppins, he tells the maid to tell the other nannies that the position has been filled. The maid is understandably confused, because Mary Poppins was the only one at the door after blowing the other nannies away, but she goes to the door and tells the dog she finds standing there, "The position has been filled." The dog looks disappointed and leaves.
- During Jane and Michael's letter of the perfect nanny, one of the requirements is "never smell of barley water"note . Michael enthusiastically says he thought of that and George has a very disapproving look on his face. But Winifred is trying to restrain herself.
- When Mary Poppins arrives and begins reading the children's advertisement, Mr Banks goes over to peer into the fireplace where he'd thrown it. He then bumps his head on the fireplace, splutters, and mimes tearing up the letter. Mary Poppin's reaction - "I beg your pardon, are you ill?" Then Mrs Banks comes in a few moments later and calls "George!" Mr Banks bumps his head on the fireplace again.
- The expression on Ellen's face when she witnesses Mary and the children sliding down the railing is priceless.
- The Overly Long Gag of Mr Banks getting summarily fired is pretty funny overall, but the best part is probably the moment when Mr Dawes Jr goes to turn his umbrella inside out and some of the bankers gasp in horror.
Banker 1: [starts to get up] No! Not that!
Banker 2: [holds him back] Steady on.
- Dawes Jr. punching out Mr. Banks' hat.
- After Mary Poppins measures Michael, Jane is giggling at what she says. Then she says about Jane "rather inclined to giggle" and she abruptly stops and looks furious.
- George tells Ellen to shut the window because the singing robin is giving him a headache. Ellen obliges but she scolds the robin, saying "Quiet! You're giving the master an 'eadache!" What's funnier is that the robin actually obeys her. And chirps an apology.
- Jane's little squeal when Mary Poppins pours the medicine. Made even better by the fact that the bottle was a working prop and it was Karen Dotrice's genuine reaction.
- The chalk drawing segment:
- When Bert attempts to take the children into his chalk drawing, they just land on top of it. There's a beat before Jane asks quite innocently "is something supposed to happen?"
- Then after that, Mary's completely irritated attitude about magicking them all into the chalk drawing. She treats transporting four people to a magical world like it's a chore that she doesn't like doing, but has to because no one else does it properly.
- After they enter the chalk drawing, Mary matter-of-factly admonishes the children, "Don't fall and smudge the drawing!"
- While Mary, Bert and the children ride the carousel horses across the countryside, Bert has the audacity to look bored with their little adventure, sitting on the horse and idly twirling his cane.
- The sheer fact that Winifred sings an entire song about the suffragette movement and then as soon as she hears her husband coming home, she hisses at the servants to put them away "You know how the cause infuriates Mr Banks"
- Katie Nana is a One-Scene Wonder, refusing to let Ellen talk her out of staying.
Katie Nana: I wouldn't stay in this house if you heaped me with all the jewels in Christendom.
Mrs. Brill: Well hip hip hooray. And don't stumble on the way out, dearie.
- Mr. Dawes Sr.'s reasoning why Michael shouldn't spend his tuppence on the Bird Woman is just glorious:
"Fiddlesticks, boy! Feed the birds and what have you got? Fat birds!"
- Mr. Banks relates a summary of the English perspective of the Boston Tea Party, and tries to toss in a joke to lighten the mood. Video.
"As the ship lay in Boston Harbor, a party of the colonists, dressed as Red Indians, boarded the vessel, behaved very rudely, and threw all the tea overboard. This made the tea unsuitable for drinking, even for Americans
." (George smiles awkwardly at his joke, but everyone else glares at him)
- Michael trying repeatedly to snap his fingers during the "Spoonful of Sugar" sequence, through the entire thing. Then he finally succeeds...and Jane promptly sends a wagon after him that knocks him over and wheels him into the closet. The closet then proceeds to repeatedly open and close while Michael tries in vain to get out. All while Mary looks completely unamused by the whole situation of everything reaching beyond her control. All the other little details like the Jack-in-the-Box going haywire and the ball bouncing on the dresser drawers adds to the silliness.
- And then when she tries to settle things down, as she says, "Well that was very..." but the commotion keeps going. She tries again saying, "Thank you, now..." but it still keeps going. At this, she has enough and shouts "WHEN YOU'VE QUITE FINISHED!" That's when it finally stops.
- This exchange, after the "Step In Time" sequence, in which Mary Poppins would make Groucho Marx and Bugs Bunny proud:
Mr. Banks: Would you be good enough to explain all this!
Mary: [in a stern tone] First of all, I would like to make one thing quite clear.
Mr. Banks: Yes?
Mary: [beat, then smiles]
: I never explain anything.
- After Mr. Banks sings the 'British Nanny' song, outlining his qualifications for a nanny in musical form, Mrs. Banks replies "Splendid, George! Inspirational! The 'Times' will be so pleased!" Apparently, she transcribed the whole song as a newspaper ad!
- Followed by his attempt to call the paper:
Mr. Banks: [on the phone] "Operator, I'd like the office of the Times. No, I do not know the number!"
- Mary and Bert's mildly-concerned reaction when Michael goes shooting up the chimney:
Mary: [blandly] "Oh, bother."
Bert: "Well, that's a bit awkward, I must say."
- And then immediately afterwards Jane shoots up the chimney:
Mary: And there goes the other one!
Bert: Shouldn't we go after them?
Mary: Well, we can't have them hopping around like kangaroos.
- During Supercalifragilisticexpialidocious, this bit of dialogue:
Mary: Better use it carefully, or it could change your life!
Musician: For example?
Musician: One night, I said it to me girl, and now me girl's me wife!
Musician: And a lovely thing she is, too!
- When Mr. Banks speaks to Mary Poppins regarding his concerns about the activities the children have been telling him about.
I am disturbed to hear my children talking about popping in and out of chalk pavement pictures, consorting with racehorse persons, and fox hunting
Yes, well I don't mind that
quite so much. At any rate, it's traditional.
- During Supercalifragilisticexpialidocious, after Mary says it in reverse:
- As Mary reads the kids' letter to Mr. Banks:
Mary Poppins: Rosy cheeks and fairly pretty
....[stern] There's no objection on that score, I hope.
- And Mr. Banks assures her there isn't - before hurriedly checking Winifred's reaction anxiously.
- Mr. Banks' reaction upon seeing Miss Andrew, his old nanny
Mr. Banks: THE HOLY TERROR!
- And when her name gets mentioned at the bank, the entire staff of bankers shudder. The bank chairman dubs her the Holy Terror, noting that she was his nanny as well.
- Meta example: during one performance, when Mary and Mrs. Banks were supposed to leave through a door, Mary found that the door was stuck, and suggested they take the other way (as in, exiting stage left). The audience applauded.