AUTHOR'S NOTE: The following is a work of fiction. Any resemblance to persons living or dead is purely coincidental.
Especially you, Jenny Beckman.
M.U.T.O. ASSURES ALL PERSONNEL, THERE IS NO CONSPIRACY IN OUR ORGANIZATION.
Aliens? Us? Is this one of your Earth jokes? Fleming:
See? See? Lattis:
You should not have said "Earth jokes." Don't you see how that gave us away?
If I were a girl... AND I AM... I'd watch my step.
) Lord Helmet! Dark Helmet:
(quickly hides dolls
) WHAT!? Colonel Sandurz:
You're needed on the bridge, sir! Dark Helmet:
KNOCK ON MY DOOR! KNOCK NEXT TIME! Colonel Sandurz:
) Dark Helmet:
...Did you see anything!? Colonel Sandurz:
No, sir! I didn't see you playing with your dolls again! Dark Helmet:
But there's something you must do. You know this rumor about the army of invisible vampire ghosts that's headed this way? Disembowel-Meself-Honorably Dibhala:
The one about there being millions of them? And very hungry on account of not having eaten by the way? And made specially fierce by the Great Wizard? DMH Dibhala:
Um... yes? Rincewind: Well, it's not true.
[...] So make sure you tell people there's no truth to this rumor, will you? Set their minds at rest. DMH Dibhala:
Good idea. Er. These invisible vampire ghosts... Do they carry money of any sort? Rincewind:
No. Because they don't exist. DMH Dibhala:
Ah, yes. I forgot. Rincewind:
And there are not 2,300,009 of them. DMH Dibhala:
Not 2,300,009 of them... Rincewind:
Absolutely not. There are not
2,300,009 of them, no matter what anyone says. Nor has the Great Wizard made them twice as big as normal. Good man. Now I'd better be off-
Moist Von Lipwig: Igor? You have an Igor? Hubert Turvy:
Oh, yes. That's how I get this wonderful light. They know the secret of storing lightning in jars! But don't let that worry you, Mr Lipspick. Just because I'm employing an Igor and working in a cellar doesn't mean I'm some sort of madman, ha ha ha! Moist:
Ha ha. Hubert:
Ha hah hah! Hahahahahaha
I don't care if Ewald Jackson is from Adelaide, wherever that is. It doesn't impress me at all, and Bridgette's not impressed either, and she only spoke to him to be polite. Anyway, he was only congratulating her on winning first prize with her bark picture. Bark pictures aren't really art so it doesn't matter about Bridgette winning and not me because we weren't in the same category.
— Kirsty Dean, I Hate Fridays omnibus
A silly rumor, really. It has to do with viral contamination of lubricants at Bearing Works Twenty-three. Ah, excuse me — I mean with the non
contamination of lubricants at... Never mind. It is totally without foundation, the Health Center informs us. And there is no cause for alarm. It is absolutely not true that it causes impotency among males— Correction. There is no contamination — but if there were, it would not affect the potency of males.
So there's absolutely no reason to be suspicious!
MAYHEM CAUSED, MONSTERS CERTAINLY NOT INVOLVED
This is an emergency! Control must be believed and obeyed! No-one in the colony believes in Macra! There is no such thing as Macra! Macra do not exist! There are no Macra!
— Macra speaking as The Controller
, Doctor Who
, "The Macra Terror"
Freddie's scared he's never going to work again. There, how does that feel? Freddie:
I never said such a thing, and you swore you'd never mention it!
I made the zombies! I was never as good as my totally not made up brother Zed, and we're totally different people!
— Dr. Ned
, approximately every other sentence
Are you responsible for this? HK-50: Defensive Answer
: Master, I am a protocol droid, not a well-crafted assassination droid of unrivaled sophistication. To have carried out the actions that took place here would have required an unusual set of skills. It is highly unlikely I possess the knowledge of how to reprogram the memory cores of base-worker class droids into killing machines, let alone to terminate the organics at this facility, utilizing only Aratech 500 series laser mining drills and explosives fashioned from proton missile cores!
Contact with the colony on Mars will be shortly re-established, and this has nothing to do with the impending arrival of the mysterious aliens.
This amusement park was constructed entirely out of a sense of remorse for my past transgressions, and is in no way associated with any sort of evil plot or premeditated misdeeds. Sonic: Well, that's a relief.
So you really want to know, eh? All right, fine, Jeane is... a very nice young lady, with absolutely no mind-boggling secrets to hide. None whatsoever. Moving on...
's final investigation on Jeane in Suikoden V
Huh? It's a rappig
Ah, n-no! You got it wrong! I just found it in a shop at Belkend. It's not like I thought it was cute or anything. Yeah, I just... ehm... that is... Anise, don't tell anyone, okay?
It's not caffeine, not sugar... not time for Star Wars Episode II
yet... doesn't look like "Mr. Colon" is acting up again... could be job anxiety... Nick:
Nope! No job anxiety here! Didn't get an impossible-to-turn-down dream job, nosiree! Not me! Ki:
I promise to be the bestest bard
ever and never be bad and never accidentally lead you into an ambush and— Roy:
That's an oddly specific promise...
After making these statements, he assured us that he was (in fact) "stable." Itís funny how asserting
oneís stability tends to create the opposite impression.
I'm not a... serial
Wait, why did you emphasize "serial?" Kriegar:
Wait, I did — whaaaat?
Are we doing? Did I mention I have a surprise for you?
<The blue-haired woman will make a good sacrifice.> Marge:
What's he saying? Mr. Burns:
Aaaaaaaaah... he's saying... ummmmm... "we wouldn't dream
of sacrificing the blue-haired woman!" Marge
: Awwwwww, well isn't that