"This is an emergency! Control must be believed and obeyed! No-one in the colony believes in Macra! There is no such thing as Macra! Macra do not exist! There are no Macra!"
— Macra speaking as The Controller, The Macra Terror
"I made the zombies! I was never as good as my totally not made up brother Zed, and we're totally different people!"
Kro-Bar: Aliens? Us? Is this one of your Earth jokes?
Fleming: See? See?
Lattis: You should not have said "Earth jokes." Don't you see how that gave us away?
Disclaimer: TFWiki is well aware that this picture◊ contains no visual references to rape, phallic symbols, giant robots, frightened cartoon females who may or may not be of pre-voting age, or manga-convention background lines. In fact, this picture◊ is completely blank.
Jedi Exile: Are you responsible for this?
HK-50: Defensive Answer: Master, I am a protocol droid, not a well-crafted assassination droid of unrivaled sophistication. To have carried out the actions that took place here would have required an unusual set of skills. It is highly unlikely I possess the knowledge of how to reprogram the memory cores of base-worker class droids into killing machines let alone to terminate the organics at this facility, utilizing only Aratech 500 series laser mining drills and explosives fashioned from proton missile cores!
"Good evening, everybody. We are the Umbilical Brothers, and not superintelligent alien dinosaurs. We do not intend to replace the Umbilical Brothers using their own DNA. We do not intend to replace the front row of the audience using the Umbilical Brothers' DNA."
"Yes, we do."
"No, we don't. Shh!"
— The Umbilical Brothers, "Speedmouse"
AUTHOR'S NOTE: The following is a work of fiction. Any resemblance to persons living or dead is purely coincidental.
Especially you, Jenny Beckman.
— Opening subtitle, (500) Days of Summer
Worker: Tight-looking piece, eh?
[Workers are looking up the girl's ass for two panels while she talks to an old lady. The girl finally notices.]
Miriam: Hey! What's going on?
Worker: Just taking a break, ma'am! These boxes are heavy. I wasn't admiring the view or nothin'! Hahaha!
— Fansadox #191: Mad Justice
Sawaki [after being sucked by a girl and a transvestite]: You got it wrong! Mutou-san, you got it all wrong! It's a misunderstanding! I'm completely normal!
Mutou: I didn't see anything! Me, Aoi Mutou, naturally didn't see anything with these eyes!
Colonel Sandurz: *opens door* Lord Helmet!
Dark Helmet: *quickly hides dolls* WHAT!?
Colonel Sandurz: You're needed on the bridge, sir!
Dark Helmet: KNOCK ON MY DOOR! KNOCK NEXT TIME!
Colonel Sandurz: Yes, sir!
Dark Helmet: ...Did you see anything!?
Colonel Sandurz: No, sir! I didn't see you playing with your dolls again!
Dark Helmet: GOOD!
"A silly rumor, really. It has to do with viral contamination of lubricants at Bearing Works Twenty-three. Ah, excuse me — I mean with the noncontamination of lubricants at... Never mind. It is totally without foundation, the Health Center informs us. And there is no cause for alarm. It is absolutely not true that it causes impotency among males— Correction. There is no contamination — but if there were, it would not affect the potency of males."
— Ida, Sten
"If I were a girl...AND I AM...I'd watch my step."
— Jerry aka "Daphne", Some Like It Hot
Tribe Leader: The blue-haired woman will make a good sacrifice.
Marge: What's he saying?
Mr. Burns: Aaaaaaaaah... he's saying... ummmmm... we wouldn't dream of sacrificing the blue-haired woman!
"This is not a hentai. It's a marital aid text printed in the manga style."
Elan: I promise to be the bestest bard ever and never be bad and never accidentally lead you into an ambush and—
Roy: That's an oddly specific promise...
— The Order of the Stick: On the Origin of PCs
"They say that the more specific a denial is, the more likely it is that the accusations are true."
— Hisao Nakai, Katawa Shoujo
Ki: It's not caffeine, not sugar... not time for Star Wars Episode II yet... doesn't look like "Mr. Colon" is acting up again... could be job anxiety...
Nick: Nope! No job anxiety here! Didn't get an impossible-to-turn-down dream job, nosiree! Not me!
"Contact with the colony on Mars will be shortly re-established, and this has nothing to do with the impending arrival of the mysterious aliens."
— Quake II intro
Shinji: Did you see anything?
Misato: No, I didn't see anyone.
MAYHEM CAUSED, MONSTERS CERTAINLY NOT INVOLVED
— A newspaper headline from Buffy the Vampire Slayer
Anise: Huh? It's a rappig doll...
Tear: Ah, n-no! You got it wrong! I just found it in a shop at Belkend. It's not like I thought it was cute or anything. Yeah, I just... ehm... that is... Anise, don't tell anyone, okay?
— Tales of the Abyss, a skit.
"So you really want to know, eh? All right, fine, Jeane is... a very nice young lady, with absolutely no mind-boggling secrets to hide. None whatsoever. Moving on..."
— Oboro's final investigation on Jeane in ''Suikoden V'
"After making these statements, he assured us that he was (in fact) 'stable'. Itís funny how 'asserting' oneís stability tends to create the opposite impression."
"SO THERE'S ABSOLUTELY NO REASON TO BE SUSPICIOUS!"
— Barney Fife, The Andy Griffith Show
"Good afternoon. This is your captain speaking. Just to say there is absolutely nothing to worry about."
"Hello. Captain Crieff here again. Still no need to panic. I repeat, there is no need to panic."
"Or to look out of the windows."
Captain Martin Crieff, Cabin Pressure, "Douz"
Krieger: I'm not a...serial killer!
Archer: Wait, why did you emphasize "serial"?
Kriegar: Wait, I did — whaaaat? Are we doing? Did I mention I have a surprise for you?
Doctor: "This is not a Kangaroo Court."
Patrick: "Did I say it was? Interesting that you'd deny an unmade accusation."
Cute woman: Hello! [Stuart's silent and uncomfortable, unable to talk, but he likes her a lot.] It's a great party!
Stuart: Thank you.
Cute woman: The monsters' food, they're really fun.
Stuart: Yes, thank you. I like to think of fun things like that. Because I'm fun. I'm not clinically depressed at all.
— The Big Bang Theory, "The Holographic Excitation"
Stuart: Freddie's scared he's never going to work again. There, how does that feel?
Freddie: I never said such a thing, and you swore you'd never mention it!
"I don't care if Ewald Jackson is from Adelaide, wherever that is. It doesn't impress me at all, and Bridgette's not impressed either, and she only spoke to him to be polite. Anyway, he was only congratulating her on winning first prize with her bark picture. Bark pictures aren't really art so it doesn't matter about Bridgette winning and not me because we weren't in the same category."
— Kirsty Dean, I Hate Fridays omnibus
Dr. Eggman: This amusement park was constructed entirely out of a sense of remorse for my past transgressions, and is in no way associated with any sort of evil plot or premeditated misdeeds.
Sonic: Well, that's a relief.
M.U.T.O. ASSURES ALL PERSONNEL, THERE IS NO CONSPIRACY IN OUR ORGANIZATION.
— Godzilla (2014) M.U.T.O. Research website
RYAN REYNOLDS: Well allow me to shake your hand.
JEFF BRIDGES: No loser, you must earn my handshake. (to camera) This setup wonít be forgotten and is totally going to pay off in the end. Honest. Pinky swear. Wink.
And I ram my ovipositor down your throat and lay my eggs in you, but I'm not an alien!
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