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Quotes: For the Evulz
“To see others suffer does one good, to make others suffer even more: this is a hard saying but an ancient, mighty, human, all-too-human principle... Without cruelty there is no festival.”
Friedrich Nietzsche, On the Genealogy of Morals

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"And it's so easy when you're evil!
This is the life, you see,
The devil tips his hat to me!
I do it all because I'm evil,
And I do it all for free,
Your tears are all the pay I'll ever need!"
Voltaire, "When You're Evil"

"It feels so good to be bad!
So delicious to be a despicable cad!
It's just so thrilling
And so fulfilling
To give somebody the worst time they've ever had!
It feels so good to be bad!"

"Once bad — What's the good of turning?
In Hell, I'll be there-a-burning
Meanwhile, thing of what I'm earning
All on account of...
My name!"

Even now I curse the day—and yet, I think,
Few come within the compass of my curse,
Wherein I did not some notorious ill,
As kill a man, or else devise his death,
Ravish a maid, or plot the way to do it,
Accuse some innocent and forswear myself,
Set deadly enmity between two friends,
Make poor men's cattle break their necks;
Set fire on barns and hay-stacks in the night,
And bid the owners quench them with their tears.
Oft have I digg'd up dead men from their graves,
And set them upright at their dear friends' doors,
Even when their sorrows almost were forgot;
And on their skins, as on the bark of trees,
Have with my knife carved in Roman letters,
'Let not your sorrow die, though I am dead.'
Tut, I have done a thousand dreadful things
As willingly as one would kill a fly,
And nothing grieves me heartily indeed
But that I cannot do ten thousand more.
Aaron, Titus Andronicus

"Greed is for amateurs. Disorder, chaos, anarchy: now that's fun!"
Top Dollar, The Crow

“In all Thénardier's outpourings, the words and gestures, the fury blazing in his eyes, this explosion of an evil nature brazenly exposed, the mixture of bravado and abjectness, arrogance, pettiness, rage, absurdity; the hodgepodge of genuine distress, and lying sentiment, the shamelessness of a vicious man rejoicing in viciousness, the bare crudity of an ugly soul — in this eruption of all suffering and hatred there was something which was hideous as evil itself and still as poignant as truth.”

Coco Bandicoot: "Cortex, why do you keep doing stuff like this?"
Doctor Neo Cortex: "Well, actually, it's pretty fun! You should try it! You know, riding around in huge, rumbling machines and what-not... very stimulating!"
Crash of the Titans

"“The object of terrorism is terrorism. The object of oppression is oppression. The object of torture is torture. The object of murder is murder. The object of power is power. Now do you begin to understand me?”
—- O'Brien, 1984

Kristoph: I killed a man named Smith because I am an evil human being. Isn't that enough?

Stansfield: Do you like life, sweetheart?
Mathilda: Yes.
Stansfield: That's good. Because I take no pleasure in taking life — if it's from a person who doesn't care about it.

Puppet: So there's something I've been wanting to ask you for some time now. You've seen the things I do in the past as well as in the future.
Clyde Bruckman: They're terrible things.
Puppet: I know they are. So, tell me, please, why have I done them?
Bruckman: Don't you understand yet, son? Don't you get it? (Puppet shrugs) You do the things you do because you're a homicidal maniac.
Puppet: That... that does explain a lot, doesn't it?
The X-Files, "Clyde Bruckman's Final Repose"

Lilarcor, Baldur's Gate

Axel: Zex, I'll play it straight with you. I need your help financing the wedding.
Zexion: And I want to help you... why?
Axel: Because you'll get to abuse your political power just to prove you can.

Pit: I get what Viridi has against Hades. He's destructive and evil. But what does Hades have against Viridi?
Palutena: I think you answered your own question. Destruction is fun for him.
Hades: Well, five points for the squares! It's true. This is just my idea of a good time.

"I know what it's like to take a life. To feel a future, a world of possibilities, snuffed out by your own hand. I know the power in it. The exhilaration. It was like a drug for me."
Angel, Buffy the Vampire Slayer ("Consequences")

I killed them because I could! Because it was fun! Do you know what it's like to determine another man's fate? And did you see the way the people cheered? The way they feared me? I was like a god! You'd have done the same if you could! Such power!
Majd Addin, Assassin's Creed I

I am not more sure that my soul lives, than I am that perverseness is one of the primitive impulses of the human heart — one of the indivisible primary faculties, or sentiments, which give direction to the character of Man. Who has not, a hundred times, found himself committing a vile or a silly action, for no other reason than because he knows he should not? Have we not a perpetual inclination, in the teeth of our best judgment, to violate that which is Law, merely because we understand it to be such?
Edgar Allan Poe, The Black Cat

"C'mon, you know me better than that 'old buddy!' Surely you don't mean to imply that I need a reason to destroy and manipulate and kill!? OK, all right, fine! OK, all right, fine! How about this reason? Seems as good as any. I do all the wonderful things I do because I want to see the miserable look on the faces of people like YOU when you're wallowing in despair, dismay, grief, frustration, misery... all sorts of other unpleasant nouns... I guess you could say I'm bored. At least misery is interesting."

Xander: That's my radio!
Spike: And you're what? Shocked and disappointed? I'm evil!
Buffy the Vampire Slayer, "A New Man"

"Evil is just so much more profitable than good — and more fun!"
Warp Darkmatter, Buzz Lightyear: The Journey Begins

"What we were after now was the old surprise visit. That was a real kick, and good for laughs and lashings of the old ultra-violence."

"Iago's soliloquy, the motive-hunting of a motiveless malignity — how awful it is!"

Gideon: Why'd you hurt those kids?
Jeffery: Because I wanted to.
Criminal Minds, "The Boogeyman"

Ben Bradstone: I see on the news, on the TV, that people question. They question why-why people do this. It's the same reason people do anything, 'cause, 'cause they feel like it, they like the way it feels. When I was a kid, my dog, Poppy, running across the grass. When I hit her, I liked that feeling. That has not changed.
Criminal Minds, "Proof"

"Mr. Ewing, this is wrong and it's cruel."
"You have just uttered my two favorite words!"

Superman: Is that how a warped brain like yours gets its kicks? By planning the death of innocent people?
Lex Luthor: No. By causing the death of innocent people.

"It's not about money. It's about sending a message: Everything burns."

Alfred: Some time ago, some friends of mine and I were hired by the government of Burma to capture a bandit operating out of a forest. They had been trying to bribe the local warlords with gems, but the bandit was raiding their caravans. We searched for months, but we never found a single person who had traded with him. Then, one day, I saw a child playing with a ruby the size of a tangerine. The bandit had been throwing them away.
Bruce: Then why steal them?
Alfred: Because he thought it was great sport! You see, some men aren't looking for anything logical, like money. They can't be bought, bullied, reasoned or negotiated with. Some men just want to watch the world burn.
Bruce: That bandit, in the forest in Burma. Did you catch him?
Alfred: Yes, Master Bruce.
Bruce: How?
Alfred: We burned the forest down.

You think I do thisnote  for money?! I've been gettin' paid for high-end jobs since... forever. Have you ever seen me spend any of it? Hell, I wouldn't be surprised if I have more money than you, at this point. No, Norman... I stopped doing this for money a long time ago. I do it because it's fun.
Bullseye, Deadpool v4 #12

Billy Costigan: You're seventy fucking years old. One of these guys is going to pop you. As for running drugs, what the fuck. You don't need the pain in the ass, and they're going to catch you. And you don't need the money.
Frank Costello: I haven't "needed the money" since I took Archie's milk money in the third grade. Tell you the truth, I don't need pussy any more either... but I like it.

Harry Callahan: You know, you're crazy if you think you've heard the last of this guy. He's gonna kill again.
District Attorney Rothko: How do you know?
Harry Callahan: 'Cause he likes it.

Kefka: "It's not enough... Destroy more... Have got to destroy more!"
Terra: "Just stop! None of this makes any sense!"
Kefka: "Mwhehehe! Destruction isn't supposed to make sense! It's only fun when it's senseless!"

Doctor: I still don't see why you want to help [the Silurians]. What can you possibly gain?
The Master: The pleasure of seeing the human race exterminated, Doctor. The human race of which you are so fond. Believe me, that'll be a reward in itself.
Doctor Who, "The Sea Devils"

"Someone had opened a nether gate within the city. Who and why we'll never know. The situation was already so dire before this point it fails me to think of a reason behind such actions. As if someone could possibly want to haste the end of everything for no other purpose than the end itself."
Drowtales side story, "Thalamani"

Frank Horrigan: Now, you're going to die.
Matt: Killing me will stop nothing.
Frank Horrigan: That may be true, but seeing your body rotting on the floor will bring a smile to my face.

Kotomine Kirei: "What other people called happiness did not bring me any joy."

This little hamlet has too much boring and not enough burning... Torch everything!

"Everything I told you is a lie. This isn't happening to you for a reason...well, one reason: I enjoy it."
The Boy / Ramsay Snow, Game of Thrones

To put it in the simplest possible terms, [Integra], our "purpose" is a total absence of purpose! You should be aware, fraulein, that there are some people in this world, some irredeemable louse, for whom the means do not require an end! I speak, of course, of myself.
The Major, Hellsing Ultimate

"Why? Why? Just to see the disappointment on your cornfed, gee-whiz face, Superman. And because a great dark voice on the edge of nothing spoke to me and said you all had to die. There is no why!"
The General, JLA #38

"Here's to crime."

Kate: Why? What did we do?
Marsh: Why us, goddammit? Why are you doing this stuff to us? You're going to kill us!
Doctor Destiny: Why? Because I can.

"Rivers of blood... Mountains of flesh! A glorious world of pain! Feeble humans, crushed like the insects that they are!"

I like being bad. It makes me happy.
Eddie Brock, Spider-Man 3

Dass Jennir: "Why? Why buy a child just to kill her?"
Dezono Qua: "Because I could. And to eat her, of course. She was delicious."

"I lost track of time because I was enjoying myself so much... It made me feel powerful. It was better than any drug I'd ever had, the high, the rush I was getting,"
Arron Streets, convicted thrill-killer

Princess Peach: We never did anything to you! Why are you keeping us prisoner?''
Wizardheimer: Because I'm an evil Koopa wizard! I don't need a reason to be mean and nasty! It's my nature!''

"Well all right then, Slick. Yes. I turned all the villagers into pigs. Big deal. [...] You know, they're all so depressing and boring and dimwitted all the time... so instead of wallowing in gloom, I figured they might as well wallow in mud! HA! How brilliant is THAT? Now they're pigs, get it? Isn't that just soooo perfect? It's like irony, or something."

"Oh, so you don't like needless bloodshed, Lt. Jaggar? Well that's too bad. I do enjoy needless bloodshed. Especially from the innocents."

"I. Like. To. Kill. Things. How is that not clear by now?"

"What do you think of my cute little pet? Thanks to him, the people of New York City are right now festively, uh, running around and trying to escape. Uh, it's like a big ol' carnival, it's like Mardi Gras in New York or something."
RICHARD Hawk, Metal Wolf Chaos

"I had rather be a canker in a hedge than a rose in his grace. In this, though, I cannot be said to be a flattering honest man; it must not be denied but I am a plain-dealing villain. If I had my mouth, I would bite; if I had my liberty, I would do my liking: in the meantime let me be that I am and seek not to alter me."

Rose: Power, it always corrupts.
Gnarl: Ha, that's half the fun!

Bullseye: I once tracked an Eskimo huntsman across 200 miles of frozen tundra on foot and killed him with an icicle made of my own frozen feces.
Kingpin: Who on earth would hire you to do that?
Bullseye: Nobody. I did that for fun.
Kingpin: You're a madman.
Bullseye: I kill people for a living. What did you expect?
Bullseye, Punisher MAX #6

"Listen kid, I'm not gonna bullshit you, all right? I don't give a good fuck what you know, or don't know, but I'm gonna torture you anyway, regardless. Not to get information. It's amusing, to me, to torture a cop. You can say anything you want cause I've heard it all before. All you can do is pray for a quick death, which you ain't gonna get."
Mr. Blonde, Reservoir Dogs

"I enjoy destroying lives. It turns me on."

"Destroy, for the sake of Destruction.
Kill, for the sake of Killing."
Unknown Chaos Space Marine, Warhammer 40,000

Faithful... enlightened... ambitious... brethren. In but a single decade, a few mere swipes of the pendulum, we have gathered a sacrifice to Khorne that will be made legend. Though it was a simpler, weaker voice that illuminated me during my centuries upon the Judgement of Carrion... It was Khorne's messenger, who showed me the true path of freedom from our pathetic corpse Emperor. And what is this path, this meaning, this purpose to which we gather the skulls of our foes? It is nothing. There is no meaning, no purpose. We murder, we kill; it is mindless savagery. This universe is mindless. In mere hours, billions will die. Innocent, guilty, strong and weak, honest and deceitful—ALL of them! They will scream, they will burn, and for no purpose but that mighty Khorne may revel in their bloodshed! And united in this void of purpose, fear or duty... we, shall at long last, be free! Blood! For the Blood God! Skulls! For the Skull Throne! Let, the galaxy, burnnnnnn!
Azaraiah Kyras, Warhammer 40,000: Dawn of War: Retribution

"I didn't do it for science. I didn't do it for glory. I'm just mean!"
Willum, Chopper Chicks in Zombietown

"Mommy didn't beat me. Daddy didn't rape me. I'm this way because I am. There's no mystery. Things I do, I do them because I like them! Because I want to!"
Machine. Eight MM

"I had reasons deeper than the deepest ocean! - That was a fuckin' lie! I had no such reasons!"
Junko Enoshima, Dangan Ronpa

"It is not that I cannot create anything good, but that I will not."

Jovian: "Why is it that whenever we can't find somebody, your first instinct is to blow up everything around you?"
Jacqueline: "Because it's fun."

"Men who kill without reason cannot be reasoned with!"
Stoick the Vast, How to Train Your Dragon 2

"I wanna gorge on human blood, not because some fucking Bible tells me too, but because I like it. It's fun. It makes my dick hard!"
Russell Edgington True Blood

Dr. Polaris: You gonna wash your hands?
The Flash in the body of Lex Luthor: No. 'Cuz I'm evil.
Justice League Unlimited

    real life 
I became evil for no reason. I had no motive for my wickedness except wickedness itself. It was foul, and I loved it. I loved the self-destruction, I loved my fall, not the object for which I had fallen but my fall itself. My depraved soul leaped down from your firmament to ruin. I was seeking not to gain anything by shameful means, but shame for its own sake.
Saint Augustine

''"Why did you kill everybody in the house?"
"They was home!"''
Richard Pryor, describing an encounter with an inmate at Arizona State Prison while filming Stir Crazy.

"And people! We kill people! Because they're pests! And it's fun!"

"When you're playing a character of solid blackness, that in itself is very interesting, in the sense that you have no other motivation other than the accumulation of power. It's not so much about not having a moral center, it's just that the only thing that mattered is increasing power."
Ian McDiarmid on playing Palpatine

Terry Silver: Hey, I LIKE that! I LIKE that, JOHNNY! I'M GONNA USE THAT! HWA HA hAA hAhahAaAAhAAAA!!!
Kevin Murphy: I wished I loved anything as much as he loves being evil.

Chris: Their plan is to make the Daily Planet into a sensationalist tabloid that’ll bring in the money by pushing the world closer to the brink of nuclear war. I’m not kidding: This is actually Warfield’s business model.
David: I’d love to be at the story conference where they named him. “Well, he sees, like, the world as a field for war, right? War... field...
Chris Sims and David Uzumeri on Superman IV: The Quest for Peace

Speaking of our evil CEO who is evil for no good reason...
Linkara reviewing Brute Force

"The first character introduced is Max Menken, played by Kenneth Mars. He looks up at the camera and says 'I hate Superman; big showoff'. That's right, the first real line of dialogue in a Superman movie is 'I hate Superman'...Max also comments that anyone without a last name must be 'kind of weird' and that Superman is pushy."
review of It's a Bird, it's a Plane, it's Superman!

Pat: Kell informs Duncan that because he killed Connor, he's now inherited Connor's curse.
Spoony: Great, he'll have a creepy bald guy whispering at him throughout the years.
Pat: Can't Kell just get a hobby or something? Parcheesi? A stamp collection?

"Apparently Charles is enough of a bastard he is not content with screwing up Helen’s life but will not pay to keep her mother in the home. Can we just admit it here? Charles is Hitler reincarnated. All he needs to do is grow a small Chaplin mustache and make skin lamps and the picture will be complete. Subtlety movie! I need subtlety!"

"Firstly, we meet a vigilante paedo-priest, and then kiddy-fiddler #3, who’s identified when he’s clocked by Gyllenhaal lecherously caressing a stuffed rabbit at a candlelight vigil. It’s such a pantomimey, Lifetime Movies reveal, that you’re one close-up away from a drool-slavered chin and leaky boner-tent."

"Weyland-Yutani now of the opinion that an uncontrollable biological weapon that reliably wipes out their science teams en masse is totally worth openly declaring war on their own country's military for. Christ knows how Weyland-Yutani spent their time before the Aliens were discovered; probably threw children on piles of burning money."

James: The plot of the game is that rebels have gone back in time, taken famous historical figures, and put them in different time periods. Who are these "time rebels" and why do they wanna do this?? Well, guess what: They're never referred to again. Yeah. They're just for your imagination. (thought bubble appears over James' head)
Future Punk #1: Maaan, wouldn't it be funny if we put Thomas Edison in ancient Egypt?"
Future Punk #2: Hee hee! How 'bout Galileo in the Jurassic period!
Future Punk #1: (cackling laugh) We're assholes!

"There is a world of difference between serial killers like Barnett and Luther Boggs, and it all starts with the writing and then continues on through the performances and the direction. In 'Beyond the Sea' we saw a vivid, nightmarish picture of why Boggs does what he does, but with Barnett, he is ultimately just a bad man who just kills because that’s what he’s always done... Mulder doesn’t seem the sort of character to dwell on professional decisions he has made in the past and doesn’t suit the role of a paranoid victim screaming lines like ‘I’ll get you, you son of a bitch!’ when reading a threatening note (I really wanted it to say I KNOW WHAT YOU DID LAST SUMMER)..Barnett barely seems to want to conceal his guilt in the flashbacks to his hearing – he sits nonchalantly, sipping water and smiling as his crimes are listed. Just in case we didn’t get the idea that he is evil. In the present day he’s like some mad Doctor Who villain spouting out lines like ‘oh you’re the dead man, Mul-derrr…’ Every time he calls Mulder up he sounds like he is ringing a sex chat line…sighing and groaning with pleasure."
Doc Oho on The X-Files, "Beyond the Sea"

"Exdeath is Final Fantasy V's primary antagonist, and a rather blatant attempt on Square's part to engineer a Golbez 2.0. His origins are murky: he is referred to as a Dark Mage, but he's actually...well, a tree. His ultimate goal is to unleash and control the power of the Void because he's an evil tree. Most of his time onscreen is spent gloating, blowing stuff up, tying moogles to train tracks, and twirling his long, black mustache while demanding the poor sobbing heroine PAY THE RENT. Yeah, he's pretty one-dimensional."

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