Quotes: For the Evulz

    open/close all folders 

    comic strips 

Mistress Leevil: Is it evil?
Weggie Rudlin: Oh, absolutely.
Mistress Leevil: I hope so, Weggie, for your sake. [calmly wipes off blood splatter from her face] 'Cause if it's not evil then you know what's gonna happen. And by "happen", I mean you'll be killed or at least seriously injured. So just, you know, just make sure it's evil.


And it's so easy when you're evil!
This is the life, you see,
The devil tips his hat to me!
I do it all because I'm evil,
And I do it all for free,
Your tears are all the pay I'll ever need!
Voltaire, "When You're Evil"


Once bad — What's the good of turning?
In Hell, I'll be there a-burning
Meanwhile, thing of what I'm earning
All on account of...
My name!

Even now I curse the day—and yet, I think,
Few come within the compass of my curse,
Wherein I did not some notorious ill,
As kill a man, or else devise his death,
Ravish a maid, or plot the way to do it,
Accuse some innocent and forswear myself,
Set deadly enmity between two friends,
Make poor men's cattle break their necks;
Set fire on barns and hay-stacks in the night,
And bid the owners quench them with their tears.
Oft have I digg'd up dead men from their graves,
And set them upright at their dear friends' doors,
Even when their sorrows almost were forgot;
And on their skins, as on the bark of trees,
Have with my knife carved in Roman letters,
'Let not your sorrow die, though I am dead.'
Tut, I have done a thousand dreadful things
As willingly as one would kill a fly,
And nothing grieves me heartily indeed
But that I cannot do ten thousand more.
Aaron, Titus Andronicus


It is not that I cannot create anything good, but that I will not.

In all Thénardier's outpourings, the words and gestures, the fury blazing in his eyes, this explosion of an evil nature brazenly exposed, the mixture of bravado and abjectness, arrogance, pettiness, rage, absurdity; the hodgepodge of genuine distress, and lying sentiment, the shamelessness of a vicious man rejoicing in viciousness, the bare crudity of an ugly soul — in this eruption of all suffering and hatred there was something which was hideous as evil itself and still as poignant as truth.

The object of persecution is persecution. The object of torture is torture. The object of power is power. Now do you begin to understand me?
O'Brien, 1984

I am not more sure that my soul lives, than I am that perverseness is one of the primitive impulses of the human heart — one of the indivisible primary faculties, or sentiments, which give direction to the character of Man. Who has not, a hundred times, found himself committing a vile or a silly action, for no other reason than because he knows he should not? Have we not a perpetual inclination, in the teeth of our best judgment, to violate that which is Law, merely because we understand it to be such?
Edgar Allan Poe, The Black Cat

"The point?" said Mr. Weasley, with a hollow laugh. "Harry, that's their idea of fun. Half the Muggle killings back when You-Know-Who was in power were done for fun. I suppose they had a few drinks tonight and couldn't resist reminding us that all lots of them are still at large. A nice little reunion for them."''

"Why do you hate us?" I whispered aloud, gasping. "Why do you attack us?"
"Malice is its own reason ... Malice needs no justification."

    anime and manga 

To put it in the simplest possible terms, our "purpose" is a total absence of purpose! You should be aware, fraulein, that there are some people in this world, some irredeemable louse, for whom the means do not require an end! I speak, of course, of myself.
The Major, Hellsing Ultimate

    film - live-action 

Greed is for amateurs. Disorder, chaos, anarchy: now that's fun!
Top Dollar, The Crow

Stansfield: Do you like life, sweetheart?
Mathilda: Yes.
Stansfield: That's good. Because I take no pleasure in taking life — if it's from a person who doesn't care about it.

I have a competition in me. I want no one else to succeed.
Daniel Plainview, There Will Be Blood

Superman: Is that how a warped brain like yours gets its kicks? By planning the death of innocent people?
Lex Luthor: No. By causing the death of innocent people.

Alfred: A long time ago, I was in Burma, and my friends and I were working for the local government. They had been trying to buy the loyalty of tribal leaders by bribing them with precious stones, but their caravans were being raided in a forest north of Rangoon by a bandit. So we went out looking for the stones, but in six months, we never met anyone who traded with him. Then, one day, I saw a child playing with a ruby the size of a tangerine. The bandit had been throwing them away.
Bruce: Then why steal them?
Alfred: Because he thought it was great sport! You see, some men aren't looking for anything logical, like money. They can't be bought, bullied, reasoned or negotiated with. Some men just want to watch the world burn.
Bruce: That bandit, in the forest in Burma. Did you catch him?
Alfred: Yes, Master Bruce.
Bruce: How?
Alfred: We burned the forest down.

Harry Callahan: You know, you're crazy if you think you've heard the last of this guy. He's gonna kill again.
District Attorney Rothko: How do you know?
Harry Callahan: 'Cause he likes it.

I like being bad. It makes me happy.
Eddie Brock, Spider-Man 3

Listen kid, I'm not gonna bullshit you, all right? I don't give a good fuck what you know, or don't know, but I'm gonna torture you anyway, regardless. Not to get information. It's amusing, to me, to torture a cop. You can say anything you want cause I've heard it all before. All you can do is pray for a quick death, which you ain't gonna get.
Mr. Blonde, Reservoir Dogs

What we were after now was the old surprise visit. That was a real kick, and good for laughs and lashings of the old ultra-violence.

I didn't do it for science. I didn't do it for glory. I'm just mean!
Willum, Chopper Chicks in Zombietown

Mommy didn't beat me. Daddy didn't rape me. I'm this way because I am. There's no mystery. Things I do, I do them because I like them! Because I want to!
Machine. Eight MM

    film - animated 

It feels so good to be bad!
So delicious to be a despicable cad!
It's just so thrilling
And so fulfilling
To give somebody the worst time they've ever had!
It feels so good to be bad!

Men who kill without reason cannot be reasoned with!
Stoick the Vast, How to Train Your Dragon 2

    comic books 

Here's to crime.

Bullseye: I once tracked an Eskimo huntsman across 200 miles of frozen tundra on foot and killed him with an icicle made of my own frozen feces.
Kingpin: Who on earth would hire you to do that?
Bullseye: Nobody. I did that for fun.
Kingpin: You're a madman.
Bullseye: I kill people for a living. What did you expect?

Why? Why? Just to see the disappointment on your cornfed, gee-whiz face, Superman. And because a great dark voice on the edge of nothing spoke to me and said you all had to die. There is no why!
The General, JLA #38

Marsh: Why us, goddammit? Why are you doing this stuff to us? You're going to kill us!
Doctor Destiny: Why? Because I can.

Mecha "M" Robotnik: Is there not a more efficient way? Can you not reach your vision in a quicker way?
Eggeman: Oh, I'm sure I can. But where would the fun be in that?

Dass Jennir: "Why? Why buy a child just to kill her?"
Dezono Qua: "Because I could. And to eat her, of course. She was delicious."

    live-action tv 

Everything I told you is a lie. This isn't happening to you for a reason...well, one reason: I enjoy it.
The Boy / Ramsay Snow, Game of Thrones

I know what it's like to take a life. To feel a future, a world of possibilities, snuffed out by your own hand. I know the power in it. The exhilaration. It was like a drug for me.
Angel, Buffy the Vampire Slayer ("Consequences")

"Mr. Ewing, this is wrong and it's cruel."
"You have just uttered my two favorite words!"

I enjoy destroying lives. It turns me on.

'I see on the news, on the TV, that people question. They question why—why people do this. It's the same reason people do anything, 'cause, 'cause they feel like it, they like the way it feels. When I was a kid, my dog, Poppy, running across the grass. When I hit her, I liked that feeling. That has not changed.
Ben Bradstone, Criminal Minds( "Proof")

I wanna gorge on human blood, not because some fucking Bible tells me too, but because I like it. It's fun. It makes my dick hard!
Russell Edgington True Blood

Doctor: I still don't see why you want to help them. What can you possibly gain?
The Master: The pleasure of seeing the human race exterminated, Doctor. The human race of which you are so fond. Believe me, that'll be a reward in itself.
Doctor Who, "The Sea Devils"

Beastmaster: Destruction sometimes is its own reward.
Angelus: Hey, man, you're preaching to the guy who ate the choir.

Gwen: I've seen things you would never believe, and this is the only thing I can't understand.
Gwen: Tell me. I need to know why!
Evan: I'll tell you something if you let me whisper.
Gwen: Okay. (leans down)
Evan: 'Cos it made me happy.
Gwen: (wide stare, tears streaming)
Torchwood, "Countrycide"

    western animation 

Evil is just so much more profitable than good — and more fun!
Warp Darkmatter, Buzz Lightyear of Star Command : The Adventure Begins

Dr. Polaris: You gonna wash your hands?
The Flash in the body of Lex Luthor: No. 'Cuz I'm evil.
Justice League Unlimited

    tabletop games 

"Destroy, for the sake of Destruction.
Kill, for the sake of Killing."
Unknown Chaos Space Marine, Warhammer 40,000

    video games 

Terra: Just stop! None of this makes any sense!
Kefka: Mwhehehe! Destruction isn't supposed to make sense! It's only fun when it's senseless!

Frank Horrigan: Now, you're going to die.
Matt: Killing me will stop nothing.
Frank Horrigan: That may be true, but seeing your body rotting on the floor will bring a smile to my face.

Kotomine Kirei: "What other people called happiness did not bring me any joy."

Princess Peach: We never did anything to you! Why are you keeping us prisoner?
Wizardheimer: Because I'm an evil Koopa wizard! I don't need a reason to be mean and nasty! It's my nature!

Well all right then, Slick. Yes. I turned all the villagers into pigs. Big deal. [...] You know, they're all so depressing and boring and dimwitted all the time... so instead of wallowing in gloom, I figured they might as well wallow in mud! HA! How brilliant is THAT? Now they're pigs, get it? Isn't that just soooo perfect? It's like irony, or something.

Rivers of blood... Mountains of flesh! A glorious world of pain! Feeble humans, crushed like the insects that they are!

Coco Bandicoot: Cortex, why do you keep doing stuff like this?
Doctor Neo Cortex: Well, actually, it's pretty fun! You should try it! You know, riding around in huge, rumbling machines and what-not... very stimulating!

Kristoph: I killed a man named Smith because I am an evil human being. Isn't that enough?

Lilarcor, Baldur's Gate

I had reasons deeper than the deepest ocean! - That was a fuckin' lie! I had no such reasons!
Junko Enoshima, Dangan Ronpa

Pit: I get what Viridi has against Hades. He's destructive and evil. But what does Hades have against Viridi?
Palutena: I think you answered your own question. Destruction is fun for him.
Hades: Well, five points for the squares! It's true. This is just my idea of a good time.

I killed them because I could! Because it was fun! Do you know what it's like to determine another man's fate? And did you see the way the people cheered? The way they feared me? I was like a god! You'd have done the same if you could! Such power!
Majd Addin, Assassin's Creed I

C'mon, you know me better than that 'old buddy!' Surely you don't mean to imply that I need a reason to destroy and manipulate and kill!? OK, all right, fine! How about this reason? Seems as good as any. I do all the wonderful things I do because I want to see the miserable look on the faces of people like YOU when you're wallowing in despair, dismay, grief, frustration, misery... all sorts of other unpleasant nouns... I guess you could say I'm bored. At least misery is interesting.

Oh, so you don't like needless bloodshed, Lt. Jaggar? Well that's too bad. I do enjoy needless bloodshed. Especially from the innocents.


Axel: Zex, I'll play it straight with you. I need your help financing the wedding.
Zexion: And I want to help you... why?
Axel: Because you'll get to abuse your political power just to prove you can.

Someone had opened a nether gate within the city. Who and why we'll never know. The situation was already so dire before this point it fails me to think of a reason behind such actions. As if someone could possibly want to haste the end of everything for no other purpose than the end itself.
Drowtales side story, "Thalamani"

I. Like. To. Kill. Things. How is that not clear by now?

    fan fiction 

Jovian: "Why is it that whenever we can't find somebody, your first instinct is to blow up everything around you?"
Jacqueline: "Because it's fun."

First Aid: I won’t betray the Autobots.
Vortex: Oh, you don’t have to. You have the honor of being the core of a new device that will harness your living energy into a weapon that will bring the end of the Autobots once and for all, and usher in a new era of Decepticon rule!
First Aid: You can’t be serious!
Vortex: ''[beat] No, you’re right, I’m not. I’m really just doing this for the fun of it.


Terry Silver: Hey, I LIKE that! I LIKE that, JOHNNY! I'M GONNA USE THAT! HWA HA hAA hAhahAaAAhAAAA!!!
Kevin Murphy: I wished I loved anything as much as he loves being evil.

    web video 

Pat: Kell informs Duncan that because he killed Connor, he's now inherited Connor's curse.
Spoony: Great, he'll have a creepy bald guy whispering at him throughout the years.
Pat: Can't Kell just get a hobby or something? Parcheesi? A stamp collection?

    web animation 

Comparisons to Bioshock are as inevitable as a bear shitting on a Catholic (or however that phrase goes), and under that light Infinite falls kinda short. What's disappointing is that the villain is basically just a racist nutter who wants to blow up the world. I listen to him frothing about how his carpet made of black people should be grateful he hasn't trod in any dog shit lately, and he becomes hard to take seriously. The truly great villain is one who talks sense! Andrew Ryan had some weird ideas about "sweat ownership," but he was articulate, dangerously intelligent, and wouldn't let someone like Comstock run the fucking hot tap!

    web original 

The sum total of Klaa’s motivation is “he likes blowing stuff up.” When he discovers the Enterprise is mounting a rescue mission to Nimus III, he muses, “Enterprise? That’s Kirk’s ship. If I could defeat Kirk…” Vixis completes his thought process, “…you would be the greatest warrior in the galaxy.” It’s incredibly generic. Even Kruge’s paranoid preemptive strike in The Search for Spock offered a more compelling motivation and sense of character. Of course, Klaa’s motivation demonstrates how it all revolves around Shatner Kirk.

The first character introduced is Max Menken, played by Kenneth Mars. He looks up at the camera and says 'I hate Superman; big showoff'. That's right, the first real line of dialogue in a Superman movie is 'I hate Superman'...Max also comments that anyone without a last name must be 'kind of weird' and that Superman is pushy.
Review of It's a Bird, it's a Plane, it's Superman!

Apparently Charles is enough of a bastard he is not content with screwing up Helen’s life but will not pay to keep her mother in the home. Can we just admit it here? Charles is Hitler reincarnated. All he needs to do is grow a small Chaplin mustache and make skin lamps and the picture will be complete. Subtlety movie! I need subtlety!

Firstly, we meet a vigilante paedo-priest, and then kiddy-fiddler #3, who’s identified when he’s clocked by Gyllenhaal lecherously caressing a stuffed rabbit at a candlelight vigil. It’s such a pantomimey, Lifetime Movies reveal, that you’re one close-up away from a drool-slavered chin and leaky boner-tent.

The plot of the game is that rebels have gone back in time, taken famous historical figures, and put them in different time periods. Who are these "time rebels" and why do they wanna do this?? Well, guess what: They're never referred to again. Yeah. They're just for your imagination. (thought bubble appears over James' head)

Future Punk #1: Maaan, wouldn't it be funny if we put Thomas Edison in ancient Egypt?
Future Punk #2: Hehe! How 'bout Galileo in the Jurassic period?
Future Punk #1: (cackles) We're assholes!

Barnett barely seems to want to conceal his guilt in the flashbacks to his hearing – he sits nonchalantly, sipping water and smiling as his crimes are listed. Just in case we didn’t get the idea that he is evil. In the present day he’s like some mad Doctor Who villain spouting out lines like ‘oh you’re the dead man, Mul-derrr…’ Every time he calls Mulder up he sounds like he is ringing a sex chat line…sighing and groaning with pleasure.
Joe Ford on The X-Files, "Beyond the Sea"

Yes! Make this cat suffer for no goddamn reason other than that I THINK IT'S FUNNY!
Tiger's Eye, in Shadowjack's take on Episode 133 of ''Sailor Moon.

Exdeath is Final Fantasy V's primary antagonist, and a rather blatant attempt on Square's part to engineer a Golbez 2.0. His origins are murky: he is referred to as a Dark Mage, but he's actually...well, a tree. His ultimate goal is to unleash and control the power of the Void because he's an evil tree. Most of his time onscreen is spent gloating, blowing stuff up, tying moogles to train tracks, and twirling his long, black mustache while demanding the poor sobbing heroine PAY THE RENT. Yeah, he's pretty one-dimensional.

    real life 

Iago's soliloquy, the motive-hunting of a motiveless malignity — how awful it is!

When you're playing a character of solid blackness, that in itself is very interesting, in the sense that you have no other motivation other than the accumulation of power. It's not so much about not having a moral center, it's just that the only thing that mattered is increasing power.
Ian McDiarmid on playing Palpatine

I became evil for no reason. I had no motive for my wickedness except wickedness itself. It was foul, and I loved it. I loved the self-destruction, I loved my fall, not the object for which I had fallen but my fall itself. My depraved soul leaped down from your firmament to ruin. I was seeking not to gain anything by shameful means, but shame for its own sake.
Saint Augustine

To see others suffer does one good, to make others suffer even more: this is a hard saying but an ancient, mighty, human, all-too-human principle... Without cruelty there is no festival.
Friedrich Nietzsche, On the Genealogy of Morals

The pleasure in complete domination over another person (or other animate creature) is the very essence of the sadistic drive. Another way of formulating the same thought is to say that the aim of sadism is to transform man into a thing, something animate into something inanimate, since by complete and absolute control the living loses one essential quality of life — freedom.
Erich Fromm

The task of carrying out violence, of killing, leads to perversion. The seductiveness of violence, the fascination with the grotesque—the Bible calls it 'the lust of the eye'—the god-like empowerment over other human lives the drag of war combined, like the ecstasy of erotic love, to let our senses command our bodies. Killing unleashing within us dark undercurrents that see us desecrate and whip ourselves into greater orgies or destruction.
Chris Hedges, War is a Force That Gives Us Meaning

I lost track of time because I was enjoying myself so much... It made me feel powerful. It was better than any drug I'd ever had, the high, the rush I was getting.
Arron Streets, convicted thrill-killer

"Why did you kill everybody in the house?"
"They was home!"
Richard Pryor, describing an encounter with an inmate at Arizona State Prison while filming Stir Crazy.