Quotes: Card-Carrying Villain

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    Anime and Manga 

"Prepare for trouble, and make it double
To protect the world from devastation,
To unite all people within our nation,
To denounce the evils of truth and love,
To extend our reach to the stars above"
Team Rocket entrance speech, Pokémon

You are now official Decepticon warriors. Go out there and be as violent as you can be!

My aim....hm.....Ah! Yes. That would actually be very simple. I want your powers as Spirit to turn the ways of the world upside down....In order to topple the restraints of this world. But your existence in this world is stable. I wonder what I have to do to make you despair?
Sir Isaac Ray Peram Westcott, Date A Live

You know, Guile, evil is a good career choice. It has a lot to offer.

    Comic Books 

Redditch is dead! And I killed him! Now it is DePrayve's turn to live... to exult in the richness of evil!
DePrayve, Werewolf by Night #24

I am lord of evil, little man — forever and always!
Dracula, The Tomb of Dracula

The President: You've got to understand, I didn't get involved in this because I'm some sort of cackling super-villain who gets off on hurting people or anything.
Seth: Hell, I did.
Seth Angus Billy Cletus Bubba Jamie Clement Callum Cowie, The Authority

Y'see, deep down, in my most secret heart of hearts, I'm still a totally depraved sonuvabitch whose main goal in life is to watch you die. Slowly and painfully. Just like your kid.
Black Manta, Aquaman

What can I say? I'm a bad guy. I do bad things. It's my job. And it beats working retail.
The Big Boss (Lynch), Gen13 — Grunge: The Movie

    Fan Fiction 

Arina: "You filthy creature! How could you do such an awful thing to someone as pure as her?!"
Lord Komatsu: "Because I'm evil. Duh."

HAHAHA ITS SO NICE BEING A BAD GUY!
Spadang Skaran, The Evill of Spadang Skaran

In my defense, Lady, you should have seen that coming.

    Film - Animated 

What do we care about nice?
What do we care about sweet?
All that we care about's vice
And deceit,
Eating the mice,
Cheating the dice,
Which is neat,
We've got no time for taste.
Who's got the time to waste?
We've got a better plan
To be as mean as we can!
The Singing Cat Gang's Villain Song, "What Do We Care", from Tom and Jerry: The Movie

We're reprehensible
We'll steal your pen
And pencible!
Then sneer at you,
Leer at you
Naughtily,
And really we
ought to be
In jail!
—"We're Despicable", Mr. Magoo's Christmas Carol

Oh, I love it when I'm nasty!
Professor Ratigan, The Great Mouse Detective

I am bad, and that's good. I will never be good, and that's not bad. There's no-one I'd rather be than me.
The Bad-Anon Pledge, Wreck-It Ralph

Behold, The Underminer! I am always beneath you, but nothing is beneath me! I hereby declare war on peace and happiness!
The Underminer, The Incredibles

    Film - Live-Action 

Hail Pottsylvania
Hail to the black and the blue
Hail Pottsylvania
Sneaky and crooked through and through
Down with the good guys, up with the boss
Under the sign of the triple cross
Hail Pottsylvania
Hail hail hail
Pottsylvania national anthem, Rocky and Bullwinkle

Good morning, my golden retrievers! What kind of havoc shall the Carver Media Group create in the world today?
Elliot Carver, Tomorrow Never Dies

Luigi: You're Koopa?! But you just said you were—
Pres. Koopa "One evil, egg-sucking son of a snake." Did I lie?

Bruce: Let me tell you about a guy I know, Jack. Bad seed. Mean. Coward. Hurts people.
Joker: I like him already.
Batman (1989)

Vincent Coccotti: You know who I am, Mr. Worley?
Clifford Worley: (scoffs) I give up. Who are you?
Coccotti: I'm the Anti-Christ. You got me in a vendetta kind of mood. You tell the angels in heaven you never seen evil so singularly personified as you did in the face of the man who killed you.

You need people like me. You need people like me so you can point your fuckin' fingers and say, "That's the bad guy." So what that make you? Good? You're not good. You just know how to hide, how to lie. Me, I don't have that problem. Me, I always tell the truth. Even when I lie. So say good night to the bad guy!
Tony Montana, Scarface (1983)

Zorg: You saved my life, and in return, I'll spare yours—for now.
Vito Cornelius: You're a monster, Zorg.
Zorg: I know.

God, I love being a bad guy.
Hugo Snyder, 3 Ninjas

Spy? Saboteur? Fascist? ALL OF THE ABOVE!
Neville Sinclair, The Rocketeer

Kermit the Frog: Why are you doing this?
Nicky Holiday: Because I'm a villain, pure and simple.

Rohr: I've seen it before with guys like you... you cannot carry that much contempt without it becoming malignant, until you're gonna be all alone in a room full of shadows, and all you're gonna have is the memories of all those people's lives you have destroyed.
Finch: That's a good story, Wendall. But it's just further proof of why you can't beat me. Because you may be right, but the thing of it is, I don't give a shit. What's more, I never have.

Hear me, believe me, and fear me!
Major Tint, Rambo IV

    Literature 

"We all have flaws," he said, "and mine is being wicked."

I like people thinking I'm an asshole. Being an asshole is my life's vocation; I'm a goddamned asshole professional. When other people act like assholes, they're doing it on their own time, but me, it's my job.
The Pollisand, Ascending

We are different from all the oligarchies of the past, in that we know what we are doing.
O'Brien, 1984.

You figure that out all by yourself? The god of evil is evil?

    Live-Action TV 

What do you want from us?! We're evil! EVIL!!
Dr. Forrester and TV's Frank, Mystery Science Theater 3000

Of course I am a thug. You are a thug. What is the Emperor, if not another thug? Thugs win, Richard.
John Lavisser, Sharpe's Prey

Xander: That's my radio!
Spike: And you're—what? Shocked and disappointed? I'm evil.
Buffy the Vampire Slayer, "A New Man"

Distrusting me was the wisest thing you've done since you climbed off your horse.
- Petyr "Littlefinger" Baelish, Game of Thrones

"I do not serve things that are evil. I am evil."
Armus, from the Star Trek: The Next Generation episode "Skin of Evil".

I ain't no suit wearing businessman like you. I'm just a gangsta, I suppose.
Avon Barksdale, The Wire

I am not a good person. I have never been a good person.
Triple H, WWE Monday Night Raw 3-Mar-2009, making the understatement of the century.

I was the most diabolical man in the history of this business. I've got a mind that just... works as a villain. True villains can't pretend to be anything else, they are what they are.
William Regal, 11/06/11 episode of FCW''.

    Music 

I'm a mean
I'm a mean machine
I gotta be mean
Just a kinda bad human being
Uh-huh
The Cramps, "Mean Machine"

I use my powers for evil
I use them any way I want
I use them any way I please
Lesbian Bed Death, "I Use My Powers For Evil"

I am nice, no I'm quite a dick,
I'm the bad guy who's makin' you sick,
It's easy for me, I've got no shame,
I'm in it for the money and fame!
Theory of a Deadman, "Villain

I will not apologize
You're mine for the taking
I'm making a career of evil
Blue Oyster Cult, "Career Of Evil"

I do it all because I'm evil,
and I do it all for free,
your tears are all the pay I'll ever need.
Voltaire, "When You're Evil"

    Theatre 

And therefore, since I cannot prove a lover,
To entertain these fair well-spoken days,
I am determined to prove a villain
And hate the idle pleasures of these days.
Gloucester, Richard III, I.i

I had rather be a canker in a hedge than a rose in his grace. In this, though, I cannot be said to be a flattering honest man; it must not be denied but I am a plain-dealing villain. If I had my mouth, I would bite; if I had my liberty, I would do my liking: in the meantime let me be that I am and seek not to alter me.

    Video Games 

I think Hitler was a SWELL GUY!
Evil You, No Time to Explain

The pendant's burning tells me that my heart is evil...That's good to know.
Prince Laharl, Disgaea: Hour of Darkness

Evil is actually in my job description.
Demon Overlord Zetta, Makai Kingdom

My wicked intellect will lead us to victory.
Chaos Sorcerer, Dawn of War

We have no need for illusions or euphemisms between us, Troper. There are those who fight consistently for the side of right, and they are heroes. And then there are those like us, who know how to turn the powers of the world to our advantage without care for the cost to others, and we are called villains. Personally, I would rather be the latter any day.
Mr. Bocor, City of Villains

We just love being mean!
The Koopalings, Super Mario Bros. 3

Ware ga akuma da! (I am the devil!)
Dr. Weil, Mega Man Zero 4

Look at me! I am sublime! I AM THE TRUE FACE OF EVIL!!!
Luca Blight, Suikoden II

Most villains don't think they're evil. They think they're heroes. Not me! I'm reclaiming it! EVIL WIZARD! I'm rotten to the bone and I don't care who knows it!
Merasmus the Magician, Team Fortress 2: Scream Fortress 2014

I stand and look at myself in the mirror, penis in hand and my reflection grins at me and his mouth is full of the sulphur mustards. "Vain fool", he sneers, "Are you really so very different? Do you genuinely believe your works of evil are any greater than the rest of them? You are simply a weak man, a product of his age, the same as any other. This is Empire, cretin, this is the killing idiocy, the natural result of this social Darwinism. If you are evil, then this world is evil. You just let the blood run in the street rather than hiding it in the poorhouse. You hold the blade and slide it home yourself, you do not pay a man to do this for you where you cannot see it. If you are evil, at least yours is an honest evil and that alone makes you Ubermensch". And thus I wash my hands and take to bed.

    Web Video 

What is it about the name 'Dr. Insano' that eludes you people?!

Hello, McFly? I'm evil!

    Web Animation 

I'm disappointed by Bowser just being the straight villain again, because done well he can be an interesting character study! There's something intriguing about somebody who self-identifies as the bad guy. Society calls him evil, but he wears their label! He reclaims it! And that is why they will never get him down! If the options are good or evil, then Bowser will take "evil", because he has seen what passes for good: An unelected ditz living in obscene decadence and bestowing privileges on a pair of mustachioed foreigners who both might be giving her one."''

Vegeta: Say goodbye to your planet, Kakarot!
Goku: Well that's not very nice!
Vegeta: Of course not! I'm f*** ing evil!
*And Later*
Vegeta: Hey Kakarot, what's the opposite of Christopher Walken?
Goku: Huh?
Vegeta: CHRISTOPHER REEVE! * crushes Goku's legs*
Goku: * Screams in pain* ... That was in terrible taste!
Vegeta: Don't care! Evil!
Dragon Ball Z Abridged, "Episode 10, part 1"

    Webcomics 

Castle Heterodyne: Then - you're not angry?
Agatha: Nah. You did good.
Castle: "Good." ... Hrm. Perhaps ... you could phrase it some other way?

A vote for Dionne is a vote for EVIL!
— Dionne's own campaign posters, Precocious

    Web Original 

I hate to criticize the new Dick Tracy team, who I think do a great job in terms of art and tone, and are clearly huge fans of the Dick Tracy mythos; however, much of their early work has consisted of endless callbacks to what I assume are beloved characters from the past, making the whole thing kind of baffling to the uninitiated. At least I feel confident in guessing that this so-called 'Mr. Crime' is a criminal of some sort.

The Daleks' plan in this episode is easily one of the most insane in the series' long and storied history. They want to, and I want to stress here that I am not making this up or exaggerating at all, remove the Earth's magnetic core so they can install an engine and drive the planet around as a spaceship... A sort of Porsche for the mid-life crisis of a Dalek. I picture Daleks pulling along upside another planet and saying 'Hey Babe. I drive a planet.'

But there's actually something strangely brilliant about the arbitrariness of this plot. Because it makes it clear that the plot doesn't matter. The plot is literally nothing more than an excuse to bring the Daleks around again. The Daleks don't need a good reason to invade a planet or be evil. They're just Daleks. They're the bad guys. They are, at this point, designed to be the things that, when they show up, you go 'Oh shit, it's the Daleks!'
Dr. Phil Sandifer on "The Dalek Invasion of Earth"

A man accused of the rape and murder of a 12 year old girl is exactly the sort of concept that no other science fiction show would touch and Torchwood seems to revel in the dirtiness of. Even though it lacks subtlety, that isn’t what I have a problem with it, it’s the hyperbolic statement ‘She should have run faster.’ Its not only really distasteful but means the character is hard to believe before we even meet him.... In the grand scheme of things I am not certain I understand the purpose of Oswald Danes with regards to the series because he becomes nothing more than the punch bag that everybody can take their anger out on in the last handful of episodes.

Blofeld casually reclines in front of the skull camera with his kitty, introducing himself as the “Supreme Commander of SPECTRE: The Special Executive for Counterintelligence, Terrorism, Revenge, and Extortion!” ...He then explains that they’ve already carried out two of the things described in SPECTRE’s name: “Terror, and extortion!” And if the governments don’t comply with his demands, they’ll be able to knock out a third: “Revenge!” Seriously, that’s pretty much how he puts it. It’s almost like they have to give up the rights to the name if they don’t hit all seven letters in SPECTRE.

David: I still love that Damaskinos’s Evil Headquarters is in Standard World of Darkness Villainous Lair #1. A factory! Run by EVIL! You might even call it an Evil Factory.
Chris: Also, he totally has a bunch of bottled fetuses that he keeps on display in his lobby, because he is a dude who straight up loves being creepy. And when I say “bottled,” I mean IN ACTUAL BOTTLES. Like, they have little corks. It’s ridiculous!
—Chris Sims and David Uzumeri on Blade II

"After Spencer shoves a grenade in Groeder's mouth and kicks him off his giant robot spider-thing, he goes on find Joe in a mech with a bunch of angel wings (drop the fucking Safer Sephiroth envy, people) where Joe reveals he not only was he the leader of Bio Reign, but he also had a hand in creating bionics, and it was his idea to make bionics the way they were: requiring somebody close to the person receiving the bionic part have their brain cut out and put into the bionic part. And he kidnapped Emily, and used her to make Spencer’s arm. And shortly after this announcement he smashes that female bionic from that obviously cut boss battle earlier in the game. And then he reveals he killed Spencer’s dog, Muffins, just because he was bored. And he once tore the "Do Not Remove" tag off a sofa. And his first instinct when eating a chocolate bunny is to bite its face off. The point they’re trying to make is Super Joe is EEEVIL, dammit!"

"This may or may not be a major plot spoiler, but your megacorporation employer is actually up to no good. In fact, you'll know it long before your character does. One clue is that the corporation's logo appears to be a big, evil-looking winged skull. The covertly sinister corporation has also plastered the entire city with totalitarian propaganda, such as threatening billboards that simply read, "Power and Control." In keeping with the game's theme of not making much sense, the corporation has also stamped lots of things with the nonsensical slogan, "We Are the Sun of Your New Life." It's only vaguely threatening, but it is printed in a scary authoritarian font. And in a shocking turn of events, the corporation is called "The Corporation," and it's being opposed by a resistance movement that calls itself, of all things, "the resistance."
Gamespot's review of Revolution for PC.

    Western Animation 

I'm evil. Get it?
Skrawl, ChalkZone

I don't mean to be mean all the time. I just am.

One of the nice things about being evil is, you get to lie a lot.

And then there was the time I restructured the DNA of our class's pet hamster; turned it into a tapeworm; that was ESPECIALLY evil. Draw that next!

Think nasty, think nasty, think nasty!
Professor Hinkle, Frosty the Snowman

Obscurio: And you, Magmion, you did an excellent job.
Magmion: My heart is filled with joy at your praise, Master!
Obscurio: Heart, you say? Do not forget, we don't have a heart!

Jimmy Neutron I have invited the Evil Syndicate here for a reason.
Tak: But they're evil.
Patrick: How can you be so sure the Evil Syndicate are evil?
SpongeBob SquarePants: I say that the "Evil" part of the name is a dead giveaway.

Superman: Why are you doing this?
Drax: Because I'm evil. Always have been, always will be.

My own mother thought I was a monster. [Beat] She was right of course. But it still hurt.