Funny / The Simpsons Season 9

The Simpsons Funny Moments Index
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Moments pages are Spoilers Off. You Have Been Warned.

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"I told him that photo would come back to haunt him!"

179 - "The City of New York vs. Homer Simpson"

• Barney had been distraught the entire night, since he wasn't allowed to drink while everyone else was living it up at Moe's Tavern. Then the Duff Beer Party Brigade decides that night to show up specifically for Barney. You can sympathize with his dismayed "Oh, no...not tonight! Not TONIGHT!".
  (Everyone in the bar chanting for Barney to chug the big mug of Duff Extra Cold)
  Barney: (at Rage Breaking Point) I CAN'T! I'M THE DESIGNATED DRIVER!
  (Moe's Tavern comes to an immediate grinding halt)
  Duffman: (quickly) Yeah, that's swell; Duff wholeheartedly supports the designated driver program. NOW... WHO WANTS TA PARTY?!
  (All patrons but Barney cheer)
• Homer is drunk and dropped off at his house by (designated driver) Barney Gumble and he says:
  Homer: (slurring) Goodnight, Barney. Don't forget to bring back my car back tomorrow. Just slide it under the door.
  Barney: (disturbingly calm) Yeeeess. (click) Tomorrow.
• Homer describes to the family his first trip to New York City (presumably sometime in the mid-70's judging by the film quality and appearance of the city). He was on his way to the Harrisburg coat outlet to buy an irregular coat, but it required a stopover. While in the borough of Manhattan, Homer is robbed three times in a row (one of those by a cop), a seagull steals his hot dog, garbage is dumped on him by a young Woody Allen, and he falls into a sewer while getting chased by a pimp.
  Homer: ...and that's when the C.H.U.D.s came at me.
  • It really helps that the flashback sequence is set to Scott Joplin's famous piano piece The Entertainer and that Marge adds "That's what everyone thinks of New York when they only focus on the pimps and the C.H.U.D.s".
• The two people in the original World Trade Center towers who shout to Homer. One of them says they stick all the jerks in Tower 1.^note (Which is inaccurate as he was shouting from the North Tower which was known as Tower 1.)
  • And then the camera pans up to reveal another guy with a clothesline spanning between the towers telling both of them to shut up.
• Homer has a miserable attempt of trying to go to an Original Famous Ray's pizza shop to get a slice of pizza without leaving his vehicle.^note (In real life, the place would be on Church St.)
• The entire scene of Homer and the Klav Kalash cart. Especially funny is "No bowl. Stick. STICK!" and Homer's reaction to the offer of Mountain Dew or crab juice for a drink - "Blecch! Oh, geez... I'll take a Crab Juice." He proceeds to drink at least a dozen of them.
• Homer's Imagine Spot of Flushing Meadows is quite humorous.
• Homer running up both World Trade Center towers (first the South, then the North) to use the men's restroom, only to get his car ticketed again while doing so, leading him to yell "D'OH!" loud enough that the entire city hears it.
• Kickin' It: A Musical Journey through the Betty Ford Center has the You're Checking In song.
• While Marge and Lisa forlornly look at expensive shoes, Bart walks off on his own and sees a building holding the offices of MAD Magazine.
  Bart: Excuse me, is this MAD Magazine?
  Receptionist: No, it's Mademoiselle. We're buying our sign on the installment plan.
  Bart: (laughs) Seriously, though, my name is Bart Simpson. My father has a subscription. I'd like the grand tour, please.
  Receptionist: Listen, kid, you probably think lots of crazy stuff goes on in there. But this is just a place of business.
  Bart: Oh. Okay.
  (Bart turns to leave when Alfred E. Neuman pokes his head out of a door, revealing a lot of crazy stuff going on in the next room)
  Alfred E. Neuman: (to the receptionist) Get me Kaputnik and Fonebone! I wanna see their drawings for the 'New Kids on the Blech.' (Bart's jaw drops) And where's my furshlugginer pastrami sandwiches?
  Bart: Wow! I will never wash these eyes again.
• Driving through New York with the clamp still on his car, with everyone yelling at him, Homer shouts shut up and turns on the radio to drown them out. However, the song that comes on is Ray Stevens' "Everything Is Beautiful", which instead makes Homer so angry he literally kicks in the radio.
• Homer attempts to get the boot off his car, which including stealing a construction worker's jackhammer.
  Homer: (to the worker who can't hear him because of the noisy jackhammer) Hey! Hey! HEY!!!
  Worker: WHAT?!
  Homer: The boss says you're fired.
  Worker: I'll get him! [walks away]
• Homer then steals his jackhammer and attempts to use it to get the boot off his car, but just succeeds in ruining his car further. He eventually gets it off and is pleased with himself, but then steps on it, getting it stuck on his foot. He has to kick his car to get it off. All the while, New Yorkers are screaming at him to stop blocking the traffic.
  Homer: Thanks for your patience! (gunshot hits a street sign, causing Homer to scream and drive off, further damaging the car)

180 - "The Principal and the Pauper"

• For as much flak as that episode got for ruining Principal Skinner's continuity, there's an utterly hilarious moment when the real Seymour Skinner is dealing with his mother. Agnes has been used to having Seymour under her thumb her whole life, so when the new guy actually disobeys her, her reaction is pure gold.
• Armin Tamzarian (the "Principal Skinner" impostor) yelling, "Up yours, children!" as he leaves Springfield.
• Homer's reaction to the news that Principal Skinner is really Armin Tamzarian:
  Keep looking shocked and move slowly toward the cake.
  • Meanwhile everyone gasps at The Reveal, while Bart quietly sniggers at the name, clearly annoying Armin.
• A teenaged Armin attempting to take on the Vietcong with a switchblade.
• Armin attempting to find work in Capital City and ends up doing sidealk advertising for a sleazy strip joint. His deadpan delivery of the promotional flyer is just gold, especially when he says "wink suggestively" out loud
• The Simpsons and Agnes going all the way to CC to get Armin back, only to find him a washed up drunk in a run down apartment.
• The town's solution to allowing Armin to retake his old position while also letting the real Skinner preserve his dignity as thanks for his military service? Tie Skinner up and ride him out of town on a rail.
  Homer: And we salute you! Now don't come back!
• When the Simpsons, Edna and Agnes are driving to Capitol City:
  Homer: Okay, once more. Where are we going?
  Edna: To Capitol City.
  Homer: And why are you and the old lady in the car?
  Agnes: We're going to talk Armin Tamzarian into coming back.
  Homer: And why is Marge here?
  Marge: I came up with the idea.
  Homer: And why am I here?
  Marge: Because the streets of Capitol City are no place for three unescorted ladies.
  Homer: And why are the kids here?
  Marge: Because we couldn't find Grandpa to sit for them.
  Homer: Then why is Grandpa here?
  Grandpa: Because Jasper didn't want to come by himself.
  Jasper: (nods)
  Homer: Eh, fair enough.
• Skinner asking Bart to recite the pledge of Allegiance:
  Bart: Hey America. You're so fine, you're so fine you blow my mind, America. (armpit noise, everybody laughs)

181 - "Lisa's Sax"

• The WB bumper with Michigan J. Frog singing, "We're proud to present on the WB/Another bad show that no one will see!" then grumbling, "Uh, I need a drink!"
• Skinner accidentally introducing himself to the kindergarteners as Principal Sinner.
  That's it, I've lost them forever.
• Homer and Marge meet with school psychiatrist Dr. J. Loren Pryor to discuss 5-year-old Bart's sadness, only for it to turn into a discussion about 3-year-old Lisa's potential. Dr. Pryor advises Homer and Marge to start nurturing Lisa's gifts now, believing her potential to be limitless.
  Homer: Wow, think of all the possibilities... (in a thought bubble, Lisa is given a medal)
  Imaginary Announcer: Lisa Simpson has won the Nobel Prize...
  Homer: Nah... (Image changes to show Lisa, now wearing a gi, getting a medal)
  Imaginary Announcer: Lisa Simpson has won the Nobel Prize... for kickboxing!
  Imaginary Lisa: Hi-Ya! (Lisa kicks the presenter)
  Homer: (intrigued) Hmm...
• Abe's addition to the story:
  Marge: Well, Grampa, as long as you're here, we were telling a story that happened when Bart was five and Lisa was three.
  Abe: Oh, I know this story. The year is nineteen ought six. The president is the divine Ms. Sarah Bernhardt, and all over America, people were doing a dance called 'The Funky Grampa.' (singing) Oh, I'm the— (falls asleep mid-sentence, still on his feet)
  • His later addition has him blurting out "I realized I could make money selling my medication to deadheads."
• Later in the flashback, Springfield is suffering a major heatwave:
  Ned Flanders: Uh, Homer?
  Homer: What, Flanders?
  Ned: Well, sir, I hate to be a suspicious Aloysius, but DID YOU STEAL MY AIR CONDITIONER?! (cut to footprints leading from a gaping hole in Ned's wall to the Simpsons' where the air conditioner is propped up with planks and duct taped to the wall)
  Homer: I'll admit it looks bad, Flanders. But doesn't the Bible say "Let he who is without sin cast the first stone"? (Homer gets hit by a stone thrown by the 5-year-old Rod Flanders) Ow!
  Rod: Got him, Dad!
• Kent Brockman on TV talking about the heat wave:
  Kent: And so Springfield's heat wave continues, with today's temperature exceeding the record for this state, set way back four billion years ago when the earth was just a ball of molten lava.
• Right before 5-year-old Bart goes off to school, Homer tells Bart something he should know.
  Homer: Now, son, on your first day of school, I'd like to pass along the words of advice my father gave me.
  (Homer thinks back to when he was 5-years-old)
  Flashback Abe Simpson: Homer, you're dumb as a mule and twice as ugly. And if a strange man offers you a ride, I say take it!
  Homer: (back in present) Lousy traumatic childhood!
• Bart's kindergarten teacher's discourages Bart's potential.
  Teacher: (reading a book) And the ugly duckling was amazed to realize it had grown into a beautiful swan. So you see, children, there is hope for anyone.
  Bart: (raises hand) Even me?
  Teacher: No.
• Homer seeing his sisters-in-law melt during the heat wave while Homer relaxes in his living room with air-conditioning.
• Homer comes up with an emergency solution while the air conditioner is broken: Snowball 1 waving a paper fan over a block of ice.
  Homer: Marge, we've needed a new air conditioner for years, and my stopgap solution is getting cranky...
  (Snowball 1 yowls angrily)
• Bart decides to embrace the attention he gets as a class clown:
  Skinner: You just started school, and the path you take now may be the one you follow for the rest of your life. Now, what do you say?
  (Bart looks at his classmates, and gets a smile)
  Bart: Eat my shorts.
  Skinner: All right, I'll— (aghast) Eat your shorts?!
  Bart: Yeah, eat my shorts! Buttman! Na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na, Buttman!
  Skinner: (appalled) "Buttman"?! (drags Bart away)
• When Homer's imagining playing a foosball table at a museum:
  Homer: You lose, Michelangelo's David. Who's next?
  Edvard Munch's The Scream: (screaming) MEEEEEEEEEE!
• "For no reason, here's Apu!"
• Homer goes to Moe's with 3-year-old Lisa:
  Moe: Say, who's the little chick?
  Lisa: I'm Lisa.
  Homer: She has a gift.
  Lisa: You have 13 pickled eggs in this jar... and one cockroach.
  Moe: (chuckles nervously) Who are you, sweetheart, the health inspector?
  Man: No, but I am. (flashes badge)
  Moe: Uh... (hastily prepares a drink) Here, have a margarita.
  (the health inspector sees an IV needle in the glass)
  Moe: Uh, that's a parasol.

182 - "Treehouse of Horror VIII"

A - The Homega Man:

• Mayor Quimby's reaction when the nuke flies past city hall.
  Quimby: I bet I'll get blamed for this.
• Comic Book Guy's last moments:
  Comic Book Guy: (reading a comic) But Aquaman, you cannot marry a woman without gills! You're from two separate worlds! (sees missile headed straight for him) Ooohh, I've wasted my life.
• Homer kicks a skull off its shoulders while watching a comedy movie starring David Spade and Chris Farley.
• The sign in front of the church: "Today's sermon: Homer rocks!"
• Homer sings and dances naked to Edwin Starr's "War" while in church.
• Homer runs down the Edgar Winter Group while yelling, "Die, you chalk-faced goons!"^note Edgar Winter and his brother are albinos in real life
• Homer's first reaction upon seeing the horde of mutant ghouls in the church:
  Homer: Hey! Where did you get those cloaks!?
• The Mutated Springfielders explain themselves:
  Mutant Skinner: We're creating a new, perfect society in which the mistakes of the past will be eliminated.
  Mutant Burns: And now, you must die.
  (Homer notices a candlepole and brandishes it)
  Homer: You want me, come and get me!
  Mutant Moe: Get him!
  Homer: D'oh!
• Marge expressing her hopes that the normal people and mutants can live together in harmony right before Marge, Bart, and Lisa whip out shotguns and blow the mutants away. Homer couldn't be prouder.

B - Fly vs. Fly:

• Homer bartering with the Professor Frink for the matter transporter.
  Homer: Uhmm, 2 bucks... and it only transports matter.....uhm, well... I'll give you 35 cents.
  Professor Frink: Sold!
• Homer's Laborious Laziness with the transporter, such as moving it to the bathroom upstairs for the sole purpose of being able to take a leak from downstairs (thankfully, Marge stops him) and moving it to the kitchen so he can reach for beer from the fridge while watching TV (although he accidentally takes the cat's ear medicine instead; not that he notices).
  • Homer's demonstration of how they can bypass the stairs with it. As he emerges at the top, Mysterious Mist swirls about, but also some smoke from the ablaze seat of his pants (again, not that he notices).
• Homer accidentally punches Lisa in the face — through the transporter! ("It was your mother!") Made even funnier upon realizing where the other booth is: Homer had just moved it to the toilet! The writers later admitted that they forgot about this detail when they wrote the sequence.
• "Have you forgotten our little 'Kerblammo!' talk?"
• Bart as a fly pretends to be caught in a spider's web, in a reference to the ending of the original film... but as the spider approaches, he reveals he's only pretending to be stuck, calling it a sucker before he bitchslaps the spider in the face. As he flies off, the spider shakes its fists at him with four of its legs.
• When Bart!Fly explains to Lisa that Fly!Bart isn't really him as everyone assumed, Lisa's pretty upset: "And I let him use my toothbrush!"
• Homer chasing Bart with an axe at the end (after he and the fly are switched back) for messing with the teleportation machine. His lines are hilarious.
  "I'm gonna chop you good! That cost me fifty cents! You're just making it worse! I promise I won't hurt you!"

C - Easy-Bake Coven:

• Homer (dressed as a female belly dancer) chucks rocks at his own house during the first Halloween.
• Homer screams, "They're in my hair! They're in my hair!" as the bats attack him.
• Marge the witch turns Eddie and Lou into a snowman and a Cinderella-esque fairy princess respectively.
• Maude Flanders accidentally gives the witches the idea to eat the townsfolks children.
  Selma: Jeez, we were just going to swipe their shoes.
  Patty: But a good idea is a good idea!
• Ned attempting to stop the witches with a cross. They just push him aside.
  Selma: Oh, please.
• This exchange between the Flanders:
  Maude: Those witches are up there plotting our doom. They could force us to engage in acts of wanton carnality!
  Ned: (under his breath) Yeah, that'll be the day...
  Maude: What was that?
  Ned: Nothing!

Credits:

• Yeardley Smith is credited as "Your Mom".

183 - "The Cartridge Family"

• The townspeople find the soccer game so boring that they riot.
  • Kent Brockman commentating on the game in the most bored manner possible, while his South American counterpart commentates in an excitable manner with the exact same dialogue.
  • Groundskeeper Willie and his Scottish friends think the riot isn't violent enough, and soon join in.
• Marge is very concerned about the safety of the Simpson's house from the aftermath of the soccer riot.
  Marge: Homer, we need something to protect this family.
  Homer: I couldn't agree more, Margerie. You deserve peace of mind and peace of mind is what you shall have.
  [Cut to Homer at a local gun store run by Raphael the "Wiseguy"]
  Homer: I'd like to buy your deadliest gun, please.
  Raphael: Aisle 6, next to the sympathy cards.
• Homer has to wait five days before he can legally get his gun. The waiting period montage, with Tom Petty's "The Waiting" playing, has him sitting in front of his house seeing all the things he wants to shoot, but can't: a family of bunnies, a line of baby ducks, a Target store truck, Patty and Selma on a tandem bike, and Ned Flanders on a riding mower (for extra Comedic Sociopathy points, Flanders passes by at least twice).
  • Homer's best line of the episode is when he learns about the waiting period.
    Homer: 5 days? But I'm mad now!
• Homer has a bizarre Imagine Spot when he ponders what would happen if he used to use his gun to rob the Kwik-E-Mart. He becomes a Southern U.S. Senator with a giant plantation, with Marge go-go dancing in a bikini.
  Homer: I'll do it! I'll rob the Kwik-E-Mart! All right, put your— (he is then seen driving away from the store, with a sandwich in his hand) D'oh! Oh well, I'll rob it next time. (takes a bite out of the sandwich)
• Homer bought a gun, and Marge does not like that:
  Marge: I don't want any guns in the house Homer, they only cause accidents! Remember when Maggie shot Mr. Burns?
  Homer: I thought Smithers did it.
  Lisa: That would've made a lot more sense...
• Homer gets Lisa's ball down by shooting it. She looks hilariously sad as it deflates. He then asks if she would like him to get the cat down, to which she hastily declines.
• Bart discovers the gun hidden in the veggie crisper in the fridge and decides to play William Tell with Milhouse. Milhouse holds the apple in his mouth.
  Milhouse: (Takes apple from his mouth) JINX!
• This Mood Whiplash at the second act break:
  Homer: So, this is the thanks I get for defending my family? Then go. I'll be just fine. (pause) ...Do you know how to cook dinner?
  Milhouse: (excitedly) Do I?! (gets out pots and pans◊)
  • In the DVD Commentary, everyone on it realizes that John Swartzwelder hasn't done a commentary yet, so they call him up during recording, and say that they hope that he doesn't sue them after they hang up.
• Homer turns out to be more of a gun nut than the NRA. Double points when he turned on the TV by shooting it with his gun...and the show that came on had a cowboy fall off a roof after getting shot. Let's put it this way: you know you're in trouble when you're told off by a crabby old lady, a mobster, a hick, your cynical, sleazy bartender friend, and a local kids' show host whose life behind camera is a miserable, seedy one.
  Agnes: (with her typical motherly sternness) I've never seen such recklessness.
  Louie: You might have hurt somebody.
  Cletus: Are you some kind of mo-ron?
  Homer: Yeah, but—
  Krusty: Listen, yutz. Guns aren't toys. They're for protecting your family, hunting dangerous or delicious animals, and keeping the King of England out of your face.

184 - "Bart Star"

• At the health fair, Abe, Jasper, and Old Jewish Man go for a hearing test.
  Maude: You just raise your hand when you hear the tone.
  Old Jewish Man: You can't tell me what to do!
  [Maude turns on the hearing test, which begins emitting a loud tone that none of the old men react to. She turns it up, and still no reaction]
  Abe: Nothing yet!
  [Maude turns the test up even higher, causing people in the background to cover their ears as they run off. Jasper starts to raise his hand, but Abe shakes his head and so he puts his hand back down]
• Smithers' stint as a sports announcer in high school ("Okay, that's it for the women's gymnastics team. Now let's bring on the men!")
• Homer chases Bart around the backyard — not because Bart did something wrong (though Bart does think this), but because Homer wants a hug from him.
• Nelson's line after it's announced that Bart will be the new quarterback: "I won't give you a 'B', but I'll tear ya a new 'A'"
• Joe Namath's entire guest appearance.
  Joe: There's only one thing you need to know in order to be a great quarterback.
  Joe's wife: Joe, honey, I fixed It. It was just vapor lock.
  Joe: Oh, oops. Hey, I gotta run. Remember what I told you.
  Bart: I'm dead.
• During one of Homer's games as the coach, he uses an old-school atomic football board to plan his team's strategy:
  Homer: Okay, half of you vibrate one way, half of you vibrate the other way, and Nelson, you just spin around in a circle.
• Lisa tells Ned she wants to be on the team.
  Lisa: That's right. A girl wants to play football! How about that?
  • When she finds out that there's already girls on the team, she's not interested anymore. She tries to save face by claiming that of course she wouldn't want to throw around the skin of a dead pig. When Flanders says that the footballs are made of synthetic leather and the proceeds are donated to charity, Lisa runs away crying at not having the moral high ground.
• Homer calls into the talk radio station and asks them a question about Flanders. They immediately hang up.
• Homer's flashback reveals that he was very good at sports in high school.
• Homer calls Mr. Burns and telling him, while repeatedly winking, that he's quitting his job. He screams when Marge tells him the winks don't translate through the phone.
• At one point, Nelson is forced to catch his own Hail Mary pass. Upon reaching the endzone, while out of breath, he says he needs to quit smoking.
  • Then it's revealed that Springfield is absolutely trouncing Arlen, Texas.
    Hank Hill: We drove two thousand miles for this?
• Marge asks Grampa if he's proud of his son managing a team in the championship game. His response? "You'd think so, wouldn't ya." Then he falls asleep.
• Homer cutting kids from the team, and then again over the closing credits.
  Homer: [over Gracie Films logo] You're cut too, Shushie!

185 - "The Two Mrs. Nahasapeemapetilons"

• At the bachelor auction, Moe is introduced by Krusty thusly: "Our next bachelor likes women who take their clothes off FOR MONEY!" Moe proceeds to walk onstage to Death Glares from every woman in the audience, and without stopping, he walks straight to the "Rejects" section.
  Moe: Why do we have to stand here? This is SO humiliating!
• The montage of Apu getting different wild haircuts, which are all given thumbs up by Homer.
• Apu: (Entering the Simpsons' house with his mother from India) Honey, I am in my home!
• Homer's advice to Apu after the secret about Marge not really being Apu's wife is revealed to his (Apu's) mother.
  Homer: You know what you could do, Apu?
  Apu: Oh, shut up?
  Homer: You could fake your own death...?
  Apu: Oh, would you shut up?
  Homer: All you'd need is a car bomb and—
  Apu: I can't believe you don't shut up!
• Moe shows up at the wedding and Lisa offers him a flower necklace, saying it's tradition. As he bends over to wear it, Bart kicks him in the pants, citing "Tradition".
• Homer's last ditch effort to stop the wedding - impersonating Ganesha and running amuck. Blasphemy has never been so hilarious.

  Apu's mother: There, Ganesh has been subdued.
  Homer: (stuck up a tree while Milhouse and another child throw stones at him) Allllll willll diiiiieee...

• Lisa asking why Apu's mother is still with the Simpsons and planning the whole wedding there.

186 - "Lisa the Skeptic"

• Homer falling for the "free boat" contest, which the police have instigated to get him to pay off his parking tickets. And then when he pays his tickets, he's still demanding his motorboat. Lou and Eddie clearly have no idea what to say next.
  Bart: Dad, what's going on? Where's our motorboat?
  Homer: I didn't like it. The mast had termites.
  Lisa: Why would a motorboat have a mast?
  Homer: Because... The thing was... Shut up!
• The fine for the parking tickets is also worth a mention - 235 unpaid parking tickets gets you a fine of $175, which means each individual fine is less than 75 cents. This would mean it would be cheaper to park illegally than to pay for it.
• Lisa suspects that angel might be a mutant from the nuclear power plant. Mr. Burns is quick to deny it:
  Mr. Burns: D'oh! Fiddle-faddle, everyone knows our mutants have flippers. Oh! I've said too much. Smithers, use the amnesia ray.
  Smithers: You mean the revolver, sir?
  Mr. Burns: Precisely, be sure to wipe your own memory clear when you've finished.
• When they've dug up the fossil angel, Ned suggests that the whole town should own and cherish it. Naturally, Homer has already tied it to his car and tears out of there while everyone is distracted. He then proceeds to build a small shrine in his garage and charges people to see it.
• Lisa's interview on Smartline.
  Lisa: If you believe in angels, then why not unicorns or sea monsters or leprechauns?
  Kent Brockman: Oh, that's a bunch of baloney, Lisa! Everyone knows leprechauns are extinct!
• The angel supporters rampaging through town destroying every scientific institution, including a Christian Science building.
  • While destroying the museum, Moe tries to destroy a mammoth display, only for one of the tusks to fall off and crush him.
    Moe: Oh, I'm paralyzed! I just hope medical science can cure me!
  • Everyone then sets fire to a research laboratory, and a robot comes out of the place in flames.
    Robot: Whyyyy!? Why was I programmed to feel pain!?
• After the angel skeleton has vanished:
  Homer: Oh, no! This is a disaster! Now what the hell am I gonna do with three thousand angel ashtrays?!
  Bart: I could take up smoking.
  Homer: You damn well better.
• The Reveal: The Angel was actually a publicity stunt by the company that were putting up a building on the archeology site, which turns out to be a huge mall. Everyone is outraged until they find out there's a 5% sale for the Grand Opening, and immediately rushes down to buy stuff.

187 - "Realty Bites"

• Snake's piano wire trap plan failing at decapitating Homer, but succeeding at slicing Kirk van Houten's arm off (originally, it was supposed to just cut his sandwich, but the writers decided it would be funnier — and more shocking — if they made the gag gorier).
  Kirk: I told that idiot to slice my sandwich! (the wire goes through his arm, chopping it clean off) ...Ow!
  • What really sells it is the reaction - he sounds more like someone's stepped on his foot rather than sliced off his arm.
• Lionel Hutz congratulating Marge on being so honest at her job — then giving her a blazer that reads, "Fired"
• We see the security Springfield Prison has to prevent prisoners escaping the exercise yard: Nothing, except an unlocked gate saying "No escaping, please". A pissed-off Snake is outraged enough by Homer's poor treatment of his car he ignores it.
  Snake: Screw the honor system, my car needs me!
  Kearney: (as Snake runs out the gate) Hey, you're ruining it for the rest of us!
• Marge's billboard.
  Homer: Gee, that billboard makes your butt look big.
  Marge: I thought so too, but they said it sells.
  Bart: Works for the Lumber King.
  (pan to the billboard next to Marge's, advertising the Lumber King — which has a motorized butt)
  Homer: (monotone) Lumber. We need lumber...
• When Hutz announces that Marge has made her first sale, he rings the bell to get everyone's attention only for the bell ringer to break and he just resorts to making dinging noises.

188 - "Miracle on Evergreen Terrace"

• Homer hangs from the roof while trying to put up the Christmas lights.
• Homer getting Christmas presents for the family by pretending to be a checkout employee and taking other customers' items. And he pays for them.
• Sideshow Mel telling the Simpsons that "You only live once", prompting Apu to respond with "Speak for yourself".
• Marge loses in spectacular fashion on Jeopardy!.
  Alex Trebek: Aren't we forgetting something, Marge? You were down $5,200.
  Marge: But Mr. Trebek—
  Alex Trebek: I asked you before the show if you knew the rules, and you said you did. (snaps fingers) Judges?
  (two burly judges appear)
  Lisa: Run, mom!
• Barney's line, "Yeah. Jesus must be spinning in His grave." after Moe comments on the alleged scam the Simpson family pulled.
• After Bart tells the truth, Lisa begins to strangle him.
  Lisa: Why, you little...! (strangles Bart)
  Homer: Lisa, no! Your hands are too weak! (Homer pushes Lisa off and strangles Bart himself).
• Bart's analysis of the house's outdoor decoration display.
  Bart: It's craptacular.
• Mr. Burns: Does anyone have change for a button?
• After every customer abandons the restaurant the Simpsons enter in disgust, the family laments that at least they're getting quick service. Cut to the staff spitting vigorously in their food. The kicker?
  Staff 1: (notices the Simpsons) Hey, look! It's that family that ruined Christmas.
  Staff 2: (uninterested) Whatever. (continues spitting)
• Miss Hoover refuses to teach Lisa anything until she gets her money back. She demands that Lisa turn her desk around so she can stop learning. Lisa happens to face Ralph who greets her with, "Hi, liar!"
• Krusty beating Otto to the Simpsons' medicine cabinet.

189 - "All Singing, All Dancing"

• Homer and Bart find out that the gritty Western they rented is a campy musical. It must be seen to be believed.
• Snake becomes so annoyed by all the music and singing that he shoots everyone over the credits whenever the theme song plays. Of course, it's not all that funny now, considering that the first name Snake shot at was Phil Hartman, who was shot by his wife in a murder-suicide a few months after this episode aired.

190 - "Bart Carny"

• The montage of opening the carnival set to Edvard Grieg's "Morning Mood" including hosing rats out of a hot dog roller and un-straightening the letters in "fun house".
• Bart and Lisa are lying around on the furniture in front of the TV:
  Bart: Turn on the TV, Lis.
  Lisa: You turn it on. I turned it on yesterday.
  (Marge walks into the room)
  Bart: Allowance day. Ding! Ding! Ding! Ding! Ding!
  Marge: You don't deserve an allowance.
  Lisa: Sure we do. Ding! Ding! Ding! Ding!
  Bart & Lisa: (in unison) Ding! Ding! Ding! Ding! Ding! Ding! Ding!
  Homer: (runs in from the kitchen) Ice cream man! Ice cream man! (runs out the front door)
• "Outta my way! I'm Hitler!"
  Nelson: (to Bart) You wrecked Hitler's car. What did he ever do to you? (punches Bart in the stomach)
• After the family is kicked out of their own house, Homer decides to ask the police for help:
  Homer: Carnies took over our house, you've gotta help us!
  Chief Wiggum: (sarcastically) Well well, look who's here, Mr. No-Bribe. Sure, we'll help you, just sit down and wait for detective "Like-I-Give-A-Damn"!
  Homer: Thank you so much!
  (beat as Wiggum stares in disbelief)
  Lisa: Uh, dad...
  Homer: Honey, daddy's waiting for the detective.
• The family thinks of a way to get their house back inside Bart's tree house.
  Bart: I say we set fire to the house, kill them that way.
  Marge: We don't want to kill them, we just want our home back!
  Lisa: Well... If we did set fire to the house...
  Marge: No fires!
  Homer: I've got it!
  Marge: No fires!
  Homer: (in disappointment) Ohh...
  • "That's it! Fire!"
• The family finally manages to outwit Cooder and Spud:
  Spud: That Homer fella grifted you good, Dad.
  Cooder: (resigned) Well, there's no shame in being beaten by the best.
  Spud: But he didn't seem all that—
  Cooder: (brusque) We were beaten by the best, boy!

191 - "The Joy of Sect"

• Springfield welcoming back their football team...and promptly rioting because they lost.
  Moe: You can't catch a football? Let's see if you can catch a rock!
• Homer when talking to the recruiters during the orientation video
  Homer: Wait, I'm confused about the movie... so the cops knew internal affairs were setting them up?
  Glen: What are you talking about? There's nothing like that in the movie.
  Homer: Oh, you see when I get bored I make up my own movie. I have a very short attention span...oh look a bird! (goes outside to chase a bird)
• Mr. Burns catching fire and falling off a balcony after his botched attempt at starting his own cult.
  Smithers: Uh... we'll try this again, tomorrow.
• The Leader crash-landing on Cletus the Slack-Jawed Yokel's property and getting robbed at gunpoint.
• The family getting brainwashed by watching Fox right after Lisa is relieved that everyone can think for themselves again.
• A cult member using "The Li'l Bastard Brainwashing Kit" on Bart.
• Barney thinking his liver escaped (again) after finding a discarded one on the ground (which was actually a transplant Dolph threw out after stealing a cooler).
• While escaping from the Movementarians, Marge is pursued by Rover. She makes a hard turn and who does Rover ensnare? Hans Moleman!
• When Marge and the others spirit Homer away from the Movementarian compound, there's some hilarious back-and-forth between Groundskeeper Willie and Reverend Lovejoy.
  Lovejoy: (after knocking Homer on the head with a baseball bat to no effect) Oh, the devil has given him superhuman strength!
  Willie: Give me that, ya noodle-armed choir boy! (grabs bat, also fails to knock Homer out)
  Lovejoy: Well, that didn't do it, Mr. Kilt.
  • At which point Marge pulls out her own bat and all three of them start whaling on Homer simultaneously.
• Willie getting pissed off at Ned Flanders ruining his attempt at dramatically interrogating the brainwashed Simpsons.
  Willie: Oh, you're gonna break like matchsticks. I promise you that! (light comes on)
  Ned: Hey, I made some Rice Krispie squares for our hungry deprogrammerinos.
  Willie: Aw, man! You ruined the atmosphere, ya daft pansy!
  Ned: Well, this is my rumpus room.
  Willie: Ach! Don't call it that!

192 - "Das Bus"

• The kids digging into the wild boar that has been haunting them while Lisa is forced to lick slime off a rock.
  Bart: How's your dinner, Lis?
  Lisa: Oh, shut up.
• Martin's Laplander dance.
  • He does the dance in the middle of a serious moment.
    Lisa: (quietly) Not now, Martin!
• Milhouse's facts on Poland (which are actually based on punchlines to tasteless jokes about Polish people's stupidity).
• Homer finally figuring out that the Internet is on computers after spending three acts coming up with his Internet company.
• Bart and Nelson racing an apple and an orange:
  Nelson: Hey Simpson, race ya!
  Bart: Winner gets Martin's lunch money.
  Martin: Huh?
  Bart: Go apple!
  Nelson: Go orange!
  Ralph: (puts down a banana) Go banana!
• Otto, after getting blinded to the point that he can't make out what's on the road, asks the kids to serve as his eyes. When the bus proceeds to fly off of the road, Otto asks (in mid-air) "Which way do I turn?".
• Homer's excuse to skip work:
  Homer: Eh, can't make it in today, Mr. Smithers! I have smallpox! ...Well, it wasn't wiped out in my house!
• The kids' failed attempt to look for food.
  Bart: Any luck?
  Lisa: All we found were these oozing purple berries, and they look kinda poisonous.
  Ralph: I ated the purple berries! (he immediately starts groaning and falls over)
  Bart: How are they, Ralph? Good?
  Ralph: (weakly) They taste like burning!

193 - "The Last Temptation of Krust"

• At the mall, Marge decides that they need to get the kids some church shoes.
  Bart: What do we need church shoes for? Jesus wore sandals.
  Homer: Well, maybe if he had better arch support, they wouldn't have caught him.
• The Canyonero song. Especially the second part.
• Homer casually notices Bart and Jay Leno bathing a hungover Krusty the Clown.
• Homer arguing with a parrot, which he apparently does on a regular basis.
  "That's where you're wrong, pal! It's not enough to want a cracker, you have to earn it!"

194 - "Dumbbell Indemnity"

• Homer sings a little song about his and Moe's escapade.
  Homer: Stealing, stealing, stealing a car for Moe! La-da-da-da da-da-da-da, insurance fraud today!
• While in jail, Homer gets a visit from Hans Moleman, who offers some reading material. Homer picks up a book called "How to Tunnel out of Prison," says it might be useful, and hits him on the head with it. Then he rushes out while riding the library trolley.
  Homer: Must kill Moe...wheee! Must kill Moe...wheee!
• Homer bails out of Moe's car as it rolls down hill...only to somehow end up back in again.
• Homer finds Snake attempting to steal Moe's car and stops him.
  Homer: Hehehe, he thought he was going steal— D'oh!

195 - "Lisa the Simpson"

• Jasper: Moon Pie? What a time to be alive...
• Rod and Todd nearly read The Offensive Baseball Cap, only to be dragged away by Ned Flanders.
  Rod and Todd: Show me your— (Ned covers up their eyes) Hey!
  Ned: It says "Show me your tie". It's cute. C'mon, let's go!
• The list of useless jobs that the men on Homer's side of the family have (running an unsuccessful shrimp company, shooting birds at the airport, playing a millionaire at parties^note at least...he would like to, begging celebrities for money, being a jug band manager, and complaining that his legs hurt). He doesn't even know the name of his relatives.
• The DNA educational video with Troy McClure.
  Troy McClure: DNA is God's recipe for making you. You take a pinch of Dad, a dash of Mom, then we bake for nine months, and, mmm, that's good Billy!
  Billy: Mr. McClure, what does DNA stand for?
  Troy McClure: (this face◊)
  THE END
• Homer and Bart's "ramming each other with kitchen pots" "game." The best part? It turns out the game's a male Simpson family tradition, judging how most of the Simpson males interact with each other in a background gag.
• Kent Brockman's lines, as few as they are, are gold in this episode:
  • "The towel snappings are expected to worsen before they stop." Complete with a picture of a bare ass suffering one.
  • "Girl likes brain, how 'bout you?"

196 - "This Little Wiggy"

• At the beginning, Skinner pops in the doorway and says he has a special announcement. The kids look at the loudspeaker, then look in their desks.
  Skinner: Oh for the love of.....THE DOORWAY!
• The Knowledgeum robot attacks Skinner after Bart hurls an apple at the operator who's right outside the classroom window.
• Kearney telling Bart to "Go kiss the virtual ass!"
• Homer loses at the "Let's Make a Baby" game at the Knowledgeum. Then Krusty steps in:
  Krusty: Hey baby, remember me?
• Ralph shows Bart his swing set, sandbox, and a rock in his backyard.
  Ralph: That's where I saw the leprechaun.
  Bart: Right... a leprechaun.
  Ralph: He tells me to burn things! (Bart looks at Ralph unsure)
  • Not to mention the Brick Joke at the very end where said leprechaun does show up and tells Ralph to burn the house down, with Ralph nodding yes.
• "All right, all right, now, you're overstimulated. Let's get some beer in you, and then it's right to bed." Which is then followed by Homer excitedly screaming "Beer, beer, beer, bed, bed, bed!" like a hyperactive child.

197 - "Simpson Tide"

• Homer causes the Nuclear Power Plant to catch fire by putting a donut in the reactor core. When Mr. Burns scolds him for this, Homer claims it was his "first day" at work. Due to Burns' inability to remember Homer, he practically got away with this lie. Unfortunately, Smithers was there to remind Burns who Homer was.
  Smithers: Uh, sir, we found the problem. Some idiot threw this in the reactor core.
  Homer: (takes the donut) Success!
  Mr. Burns: You did this? How could you be so irresponsible?
  Homer: I-It's my first day.
  Mr. Burns: Since I've never seen you before, maybe it is your first day. Very well. Carry on.
  Smithers: Uh, sir. That's Homer Simpson. He's been working here for 10 years.
  Mr. Burns: Oh, really? Why did you think you could lie to me?
  Homer: It's my first day.
  Mr. Burns: (chuckles) Well, why didn't you say... WHOO! YOU'RE FIRED!!
• Homer fondly comparing his friends joining him in enlisting in the Naval Reserve toThe Deer Hunter, reminding Moe of something he needs to do. Cut to a shady backroom in the tavern where Krusty and Skinner, both wearing red bandannas, are sitting at a table with a menacing one-eyed Vietnamese man, surrounded by a gang of dangerous-looking men carrying weapons.
  One-Eyed Man: (loads one bullet into a revolver, spins the chamber and slides it over to Krusty) Didi mau! Didi mau!
  Moe: (walks in) I'm sorry guys, we're shutting down for a while. Sorry.
• The whole "In the Navy" sequence, including Smithers shaking his booty next to The Village People on top of the sub and their hats all floating to the surface when it submerges with them still on top of the hull.
• Homer derails the Drill Sargent's I Don't Like You And You Don't Like Me routine:
  Drill Sergeant: Alright, Simpson, you don't like me, and I don't like you.
  Homer: I like you.
  Drill Sergeant: Uhm, alright... You like me, but I don't like you!
  Homer: Maybe you'd like me if you got to know me.
• Homer left in command:
  XO: 15 seconds to collision, we need a decision.
  Homer: Hmm, what would the captain say in my spot?
  Captain Tenille: (from inside the torpedo tube) Don't fire the torpedoes!
  Homer: Fire the torpedoes!
• Captain Tenille is shot out of the submarine to impact on the hull of the enemy sub.
  Enemy crewman: We've been hit by an officer!
  Enemy captain: If they're going to fire on us, we'll respond in kind! Fire! (his crew grab him) Not me, a torpedo!
• This exchange:
  Homer: Damage report, Mr. Moe.
  Moe: Sonar, out. Navigation, out. Radio, out.
  Homer: Enough of what's out, what's in?
  Moe: Ice-blended mocha drinks and David Schwimmer.
  Homer: Yes, he is handsome in an ugly sort of way.
  • Afterwards, Homer orders Mr. Sulu to set a course for home; Sulu initially says "Setting course for Rigel VII."
• Lisa's deadpan response to the news report of Homer's apparent defection, featuring a photo of Homer in Russia, dressed as a Cossack and doing a Cossack dance while holding a bottle of vodka (pictured above). "I TOLD him that photo would come back to haunt him."
• The meeting at the UN headquarters goes awkward.
  Russian UN Representative: The Soviet Union would be pleased to offer amnesty to your wayward vessel.
  American UN Representative: Heh, "Soviet Union"? I thought you guys broke up.
  Russian UN Representative: Yes, that's we wanted you to think! Hahahaha! (switches placecard around from "Russia" to "Soviet Union")
  • The following montage with Russia reverting back to the Soviet Union (and the ominous choir music), complete with Lenin rising from the grave. Critic Mike Reiss would call this sequence "the nuttiest the show has ever been".
    Zombie Lenin: Must... crush... capitalism...
• Abe's Epic Fail at defending his son from the accusations of him being a Soviet ally.
  Abe: My Homer is not a Communist. He may be a liar, a pig, an idiot, a Communist, but he is NOT a porn star!
• Grampa's story of discovering John F. Kennedy's "terrible secret" during his war service:
  Kennedy: Ich bin ein Berliner.
  Young Abe: (gasps) He's a Nazi! Get him!
  (Abe and some other sailors gang up on Kennedy and start beating the snot out of him)
• The end when Homer surfaces the submarine and finds himself surrounded by military vessels from several different factions, including a Viking longboat and a battleship from Antarctica crewed entirely by penguins. He explains his actions to the American captain by pleading "It's my first day", causing the crew to crack up laughing. He then turns to two of the other vessels and repeats his excuse in Spanish and Chinese, with the same result, before finally turning to the penguins and saying "Quack quack quack". They break up into squawks of laughter and all slide off the deck into the water.
• Homer being court-martialed.
  1st Admiral: Seaman Simpson, your actions have given the Navy a black eye from which it may never recover. I would throw the book at you, but I've been indicted in the Tailhook Scandal. (puts his hat on) Goodbye! (leaves)
  2nd Admiral: I too would punish you, but I'm under indictment for accepting bribes from military contractors. (also puts hat on and leaves)
  3rd Admiral: Um, I torpedoed a carnival cruise ship. (hat, leaves)
  4th Admiral: Impersonating the First Lady. (puts blonde wig on and leaves)
  (Homer is left alone in the room with the elderly janitor)
  Janitor: I think you're off the hook.
  Homer: Woohoo!
• Skinner catches Milhouse with his new earring.
  Skinner: Uh-uh. The school dress code specifically forbids the wearing of earrings unless you're of gypsy extraction.
  Milhouse: Oh, I'm a gypsy.
  Skinner: Prove it.
  Milhouse: Uh... I vant to suck your blooood!
  Skinner: Nuh-uh. That's a vampire. But... they're also covered. Carry on.
• The ad for the Naval Reserve:
  Naval Recruiter: Daybreak, Jakarta. The proud men and women of the Navy are fighting for freedom, but you're in Lubbock, Texas hosing stains off a monument. You're in the Naval Reserve: America's 17th line of defense, between the Mississippi National Guard, and the League of Women Voters. After basic training, you'll only have to work one weekend a month. And most of that time, you're drunk off your ass.
• With Homer in charge: "Moe, steady as she goes." "Aye-aye... ya big dummy. Ugh, what a dummy."
• At boot camp, the drill instructor says that their mamas aren't there to help them, and Barney points out that his mother is. And later she joins them on the submarine.
  Tenille: Seaman, open that torpedo tube!
  Mrs. Gumble: You'll never get an answer talking to my son like that! You gotta poke him with a stick! (does so)
  Barney: (groans in his sleep) Oh, I don't wanna go to school today.

198 - "The Trouble with Trillions"

• The episode starts on New Years Day right after midnight, and Ned Flanders decides to get his taxes sorted immediately, which also includes him stashing free breath mints with his income tax and running off to the recently-opened post office in a mad rush as if he was one of the poor citizens in the next scene who left their taxes until April 15th.
• Homer hurriedly doing this taxes and labeling his family as thus before he mails off his income tax: Marge requires 24-hour medical care, Lisa's a clergyman, Maggie is seven people, and Bart was wounded in Vietnam (which Bart finds cool).
  Would you look at those morons. I paid my taxes over a year ago.
• Homer trying to take his cyanide pill when Mr. Burns gives him a tour of the mansion.
• The implication that Mr. Burns stole Charlie Chaplin's Little Tramp suit (which he was buried in when he died in 1977).
  Mr. Burns: That intrepid lad is my great-grandfather, Franklin Jefferson Burns tossing that tea without a care for what the caffeine would do to the Fenway flounder.
  Homer: Is that a fish?
  Mr. Burns: It was.
• Homer and the FBI agent finding Milhouse taking shirtless pictures of himself in the mall photo booth.
• The secret spy film about the trillion dollar bill being rated TV-PG (at the time, America's TV rating system was fresh and the subject of a lot of humor and discussion about how much inappropriate content was airing on TV) for adult situations. Also, the password to access it is "Cheese!"
  Agent Johnson: We believe Burns still has that bill hidden somewhere in his house. But all we've ascertained from satellite photos is that it's not on the roof. We're hoping that as his trusted employee, you can help lead us to it.
  Homer: But Mr. Burns gave me my job, and he hasn't fired me even after three meltdowns and one China Syndrome! I can't betray him!
  Agent Johnson: I'm afraid you have no choice, Simpson! And remember, this information is highly classified!
  [they leave, and then Apu and Manjula enter the photo booth]
  Apu: Cheese!
  Film: Good morning, Agent Johnson.
• The rest of the family being told about the trillion dollar bill.
  Bart: Dad has a trillion dollars? Cool! I can buy and sell your sorry ass! I'll give you a billion dollars to empty the cat box for me.
  Marge: No, no, Bart! That money is going towards your college education.
  Lisa: Who cares about college, mom? We're trillionaires! Let's buy dune buggies!
  • The film reveals how the French Jerk trope started:
    British Diplomat: Well, this is a kick in the knickers.
    Italian Diplomat: Should we complain to somebody?
    French Diplomat: No, I say we just act snooty to Americans forever!
• Upon finding Cuba:
  Mr. Burns: Take her down, Smithers!
  Smithers: Uh, you're flying the plane, sir.
  Mr. Burns: Excellent!
  [Homer and Smithers have a look of Oh, Crap! and This Is Gonna Suck as Mr. Burns dives the plane]
  • And cut to the plane having crashed.
• Reasons for visiting Cuba:
  Business/Pleasure
  Smuggle Cigars
  Assassinate Castro
  • Homer checks all three.
• Afterwards Homer calls home.
  Homer: Oh, you're gonna love it here in Cuba, Marge! There's shredded pork everywhere!
  Kid: ¡Es carne de burro! ^note It's donkey meat.
  Homer: Nice to meet you too!
• When Fidel Castro is preparing to call the US and concede defeat:
  Aide: But Presidente! America tried to kill you!
  Fidel Castro: Ah, they're not so bad. They even named a street after me in San Francisco.
  Second Aide: (whispers in Castro's ear)
  Fidel Castro: It's full of WHAT?!!!
• The Smash Cut of Mr. Burns, Smithers, and Homer stranded on a raft after Burns gives the trillion-dollar bill to Fidel Castro and Castro refuses to give it back.

199 - "Girly Edition"

• "Hey, I'm on TV! Faaaaaart!"
• The first edition of "Bart's People":
  Bart: Joe Banks, eighty-two years young, has come to this pond every day for the past seventeen years, to feed the ducks. But last month, Joe made a discovery. The ducks... were gone. Some say the ducks went to Canada. Others say, Toronto. And some people think, that Joe used to sit down there, (camera moves to another nearby pond) near those ducks. But it could be, that there's just no room in this modern world, for an old man... and his ducks.
  (cut to Mr. Burns and Smithers watching)
  Mr. Burns: Smithers... you think maybe my power plant killed those ducks?
  Smithers: There's no "maybe" about it, sir.
  Mr. Burns: (sniffles) Excellent.
• Bart's puff piece on veterans.
  Lisa: (through her teeth) Thank you, Bart, for yet another touching Bart's People. Now turning to—
  Bart: I just think our veterans deserve a little recognition.
  Lisa: That's what Veteran's Day is for, Bart.
  Bart: But is that really enough to honor our brave soldiers?
  Lisa: They also have Memorial Day.
  Bart: Oh, Lisa! Maybe you're right, maybe you're wrong! The important thing is veterans deserve a day to honor them!
  Lisa: THEY HAVE TWO!!!
  Bart: Well, maybe they should have three. I'm Bart Simpson.
• Groundskeeper Willie: Away with ye! I have to finish him off while I'm still temporarily insane!
  • Willie's "Wha?!" when Lisa says that Bart is his son.
• The end of the episode, where we finally get to see a brief glimpse of the "Mattel & Mars Bar Quick Energy Choc-O-Bot Hour", a deliciously Merchandise-Driven parody that's designed to sell chocolate and "Entertaining Mattel Products" (and was earlier mentioned as being barely legal to air on TV, as it's too Merchandise-Driven for children).
• Homer tricks Grampa into adopting the helper monkey, then taking the helper monkey for himself, and Grampa saying, "Ooh, I can't wait to eat that monkey."
• Homer eats the bitten doughnut Mojo tossed on the ground after refusing to take it.
• A fat, out-of-shape Mojo types out, "Pray for Mojo" on the computer after Homer brings him back to the animal shelter.
• This gem with Milhouse:
  Milhouse: ...So, by waking up a little early, and having some extra sheets handy, no one's the wiser. Tomorrow: Destroying the Evidence.
  Lisa: Eww.
  • Then when Lisa hurriedly leaves, she tells Nelson to cover for her. He shuffles his papers, clears his throat...then "speaks" in armpit farts.
• Lisa introduces us to the Crazy Cat Lady:
  Lisa: (standing outside house) They call her "The Cat Lady". People say she's crazy just because she has a few-dozen cats. But can anyone who loves animals that much really be crazy?
  (the door opens, and the Crazy Cat Lady chases after Lisa, wailing and throwing cats at her)
  • She then tries to do a piece by mentioning that the Union Pacific doesn't come by anymore. On cue, a Union Pacific train passes by. After that, the Crazy Cat Lady is on the other side of the tracks and continues throwing cats at Lisa.

200 - "Trash of the Titans"

• Homer has to take the trash out to the curb because he spilled it. He just misses the garbage truck and the garbage men.
  Homer: (chasing the truck while carrying the trash can) Wait. Stop, I have garbage! (he runs for a little longer, then drops the trash can and groans) You guys are the lousiest garbage men ever! YEAH, I'M TALKING TO YOU! YOU TRASH-EATIN' STINK BAGS! (garbage truck stops) Uh oh. (the truck backs up rapidly and stops again)
  Garbage Man #1: (madly) What did you call us?
  Homer: (nervously) Uh, I don't know. A lot of people were yelling things.
  Garbage Man #1: You called us "Trash-eatin' stink bags".
  Garbage Man #2: Didn't you learn anything from "Love Day"?
  Homer: Pffft. That was yesterday, moron.
• Rod's trip to Diaper Hill in the Simpsons' front yard.
  Rod: Look, daddy. I'm the king of the mountain!
  Ned: Rod, get off of there!
• Homer wakes up and sees the trash pile in his front yard gone. He then gloats about it in the kitchen.
  Homer: This is a very, very proud day for us! Especially me, your father, me, beat City Hall! It's just like David and Goliath, only this time, David won!
  Lisa's Brain: Oh, I know, I heard it too. Here's some music. (Beethoven's "Für Elise" plays.)
• Really, the entire U2 concert sequence is one big funny moment after another.
  • For starters, the establishing shot shows the band performing, with the crowd cheering & jubilant... except for Otto, who is calmly sitting there and imploring the crowd to sit-down, saying their "ruining it for everyone!"
  • Homer's plan to sneak into the U2 concert's backstage is incredibly simple and effective... he disguises himself as the "Potato Man". The Irish security guards let him in no-questions-asked, even saying "Where the Hell have you been?!".
  • He then hijacks the concert's main background monitor, but not before kicking the female-producer aside when she questions what he's doing there.
    Homer: Take a Hike, Kojak!
  • After Homer hijacks the concert and walks on the stage to promote his Sanitation Commissioner Campaign, Bono agrees to let him speak... much to the rest of the band's chagrin:
    Bono: Hold on, people. He's talking about waste management, that affects the whole damn planet!
    The Edge: Aw, here we go... (to Larry) What do you say we slip out to Moe's for a pint?
    Adam: Can I come?
    (Beat)
    The Edge: No. (Walks off with Larry)
    Adam: Wankers...
  • Homer tries to use "hip" language to promote himself. When that doesn't work, he tries to awkwardly dance, all while the crowd is booing at him. It is here when Bono's had enough:
    Bono: (unimpressed) Wow! Look at him go. You're the real Lord of the Dance, Homer.
    (He then motions towards security to get rid of Homer. The guards grab him and pull him off the stage. The rest of the band comes back)
    Homer: Ow! OW!! Bono! Help Me!
    Bono: (To the Crowd) Don't worry, folks. He'll get the help he needs.
  • And finally, Homer gets beat up by U2's security (which was shown on the concert's big screen monitor... that Homer activated for his use earlier) while the band plays "Pride (In the Name of Love)".
    • In the DVD commentary to that part, the writers wish concerts would punish anyone who tries to get on the stage by having security beat them up and having it projected on the wall of TVs.
• When all hell is breaking loose in Springfield as the garbage eurpts from the ground, Ned Flanders and his sons are burying a dead rabbit (complete with mini-tombstone) in their backyard garden and praying.
  Ned: Dear Lord, please take Mr. Bunny up to Heaven... (the rabbit corpse erupts from the ground; the 3 Flanders shriek)
• Ray Patterson gives a brief speech after being re-instated.
  Ray Patterson: (enters to the tune of Sanford and Son) Oh... oh, gosh... y'know, I'm not much on speeches, but it's so gratifying... to leave you wallowing in the mess you've made, you're screwed, thank you, bye. (leaves to the tune of "Sanford and Son")
  Moe: He's right. He ain't much on speeches.
• The end in which everyone moves away, leaving behind the Crying Indian from those anti-pollution commercials from the 1970s. Another Indian appears and tells him, "Do yourself a favor. Don't turn around." The camera pans over to a trash-flooded Springfield and we hear screaming. The second Indian admonishes him with, "I told you not to turn around."

201 - "King of the Hill"^note Not to be confused with the Western Animation show of the same name.

• Reverend Lovejoy's exasperated exclamation to Ned Flanders' conflict over playing Capture the Flag on a Sunday.
  Rev. Lovejoy: "Oh, just play the damn game, Ned!"
• The kids pelting Homer with deviled eggs after he collapses from exhaustion.
• Homer mispronounces "gym" as "gime."
• Homer eats 5 pounds of spaghetti and meatballs compressed into bar form, then immediately calls the hospital.
• Homer shows Bart that he made it to the top of the mountain — and Marge looking through the telescope and finding Homer's wallet.
• Bart and Homer watching the McBain movie has some golden moments, like Homer flexing his belly fat to slide his beer towards him so he can drink it hands-free, and then crush the can when he's done. Bart's reaction is priceless. Also this dialogue:
  Marge: (on McBain jumping onto a jet, tearing open the cockpit, and breaking the pilot's neck) Now that's what I call breakneck speed! (laughs at her joke)
  Bart: Mom, a man just died.
  (Marge frowns and makes her trademark "Hmmm.")

202 - "Lost Our Lisa"

• The sequence where Homer gives Bart the glue he wants to use to glue novelty features to his face. The way he sincerely says "Hope this stuff holds" is priceless.
• Lisa barfing after Cletus reminding her the skunks can go off "...even after they's dead."
• Marge thinking a boy stuck a bathtub faucet on his head with Superglue, but really got it stuck due to a plumbing accident, followed by Marge telling Bart that she wants that exact faucet for her bathroom.
• Homer's voicemail at work:
  Homer: You have reached the workplace of Homer Simpson. If you are calling about the waterbed, please leave a detailed message. If you need to—
  Mr. Burns: Get back to work!
  [Homer screams]
• When Homer is running around on the street looking for Lisa, the first car he stops turns out to be Marge's, and the second Mr. Burns.
  Marge: Homer? Shouldn't you be at work?
  Homer: Uh... I am at work. This is what I do.
  Marge: But—
  Homer: Keep going Marge, this isn't a parking lot!
  Marge: Sorry! (Marge drives away and Homer sighs in relief, only for the next car stopping to reveal Mr. Burns)
  Homer (yelps)
  Mr. Burns: Shouldn't you be at work?
  Homer: Yes sir, Mr. Burns!
  Mr Burns: Well, get back to whatever it is you do, whoever you are.
• When Lisa asks the Russian immigrants playing chess for directions, they yell angrily at her, only for the subtitles to show they're actually answering her question politely. Then after she runs off, one checkmates the other, who swipes the board away, stands up and starts shouting in Russian:
  Russian: (Good game. How about another?)
• "I'm not normally a praying man... but if you're up there, please save me, Superman!"
• Homer getting his head stuck in the suspension bridge while standing on a cherry picker that he crashed onto a garbage barge.

203 - "Natural Born Kissers"

• A naked Homer Tempting Fate by telling the leering crowd of a football game to "...take a picture. It lasts longer." It was Camera Day and they ended up on the front page of the newspaper.
  • Similarly, Homer dangling from a balloon naked slamming rear-first into...a crystal cathedral (based on an actual one in California).
    Reverend: Now let us thank the Lord for this magnificent crystal cathedral, which allows us to look out upon his wondrous creation.
    (Homer slides upwards on the glass wall, his ass visible to all, making a huge screech.)
    Reverend: Now quickly! Gaze down on God's fabulous parquet floor! Eyes on the floor. Still on the floor. Always on God's floor!
• While trying to hide at the mini-golf course, at one point Marge is behind birds and a flower, while Homer is behind two guys sawing a log.
  Homer: Marge, can we switch? I don't trust these guys.
• Bart and Lisa look for treasure with a metal detector, leading to a hilarious Imagine Spot.
  Pirate Captain: Arr! Now we bury the treasure!
  British Crewman: Uh, captain, I know we usually bury the treasure, but what if, this time, we use it to buy things? You know, things we like?
  (the captain shoots the crewman and looks at the remaining members; they start digging)
  Pirate Captain: Arr! We'll dig up the treasure in seven years. I've drawn a map on this cracker, which Polly will hold for safekeeping.
  (the captain hands the Treasure Map Cracker to his parrot, whose eyes start to shift from side to side)
• Sideshow Mel's reaction to seeing a naked Homer flying over a football stadium.
  "Dear Lord, look at that blimp! He's hanging from a balloon!"
• The entire In-Universe Revised Ending to Casablanca, as seen here.
  • Not to mention film reel titled It's a Wonderful Life (Killing Spree Ending).

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