Funny / Fullmetal Alchemist

A typical conversation ensues between Col. Mustang and the Fullmetal Alchemist

For the first anime, see here.

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Manga/Brotherhood

• Isaac McDougal, the Freezing Alchemist, finds Ed and Al in the middle of his escape. He dramatically points out all the signs showing he's in the presence of the Fullmetal Alchemist, then the title card shows up. And then...
  Isaac: (Pointing to Al) So it's not you?
  Al: (Awkwardly) Oh... um... no. I'm his younger brother, Alphonse.
  Isaac: But he's a runt!
  Ed: OH YEAH, CAN A RUNT DO THIS?! (Uses alchemy to trap Isaac)
  Isaac: I've heard the stories but still I'd never imagine this. The Fullmetal Alchemist is just a little kid!
  Ed: DON'T CALL ME LITTLE!!! (Uses alchemy again to send Isaac flying)
  Al: You know, brother, I don't think he was really talking about your height just now.
  Ed: WELL EVEN IF HE WASN'T, HE STILL PISSED ME OFF!
• When Roy gets a face full of water from McDougal in the same episode, his expression is priceless.
• Lust gently chiding Gluttony for chewing too loudly while she's on the phone.
• A hilarious one is how Cornello did not realize he was publicly confessing his plans to all of Liore until Ed showed the microphone on.
  • Even before that, he goes into a rant on how he'll use his church to raise an army to conquer the country with...and Ed's all "Yeah, sure, whatever. Moving on..."
  • Also the citizens' reactions, including one of his followers facepalming and the coffee guy frozen pouring a river of coffee.
  • Even some guy's dog heard the confession like "Whaaaaaaa-?!!?"
• After Cornello's Humiliation Conga he runs into Lust and Gluttony who are casually sitting around his office. Gluttony, of course, asks if he can eat Cornello but Lust tells him no saying that he'll get a stomach ache from eating someone like him. After Lust kills Cornello she wonders what they will do about Liore and Gluttony proceeds to eat Cornello's corpse while she is distracted. Lust's chiding "Hey, I thought I told you not to eat that" is hilariously dark since it comes off like a mother scolding her naughty child.
• In chapter 4, the terrorists who've hijacked the train all seem to think it's a good idea to shoot well-built suit of armour (one most likely designed after gunpowder came to be used on the battlefield), despite Alphonse warning them not to.
  Alphonse (to a freaked-out terrorist who opens fire): Wait… Watch out for the rico– …chet. Too late.
  Terrorist 1: Oow!!!
  Terrorist 2: Hey whats– [sees Al] G… waah! [opens fire] Argh! It ricocheted!!!
  Alphonse: Are you people idiots?
  • This gets even better later on in the chapter, when the terrorists in the front cars try to grasp the situation in the rear ones, where the Elrics had been seated, and using telephone, hear something about a huge suit of armour, followed by gunfire, screams of pain, and "I'm dying." In other words, all of the terrorists Al encountered self-destructed in the same way without giving him a chance to fight. So Al's early guess was completely right.
• Ed and Pinako Volleying Insults about how short they both are.
  (Ed doesn't want to drink his milk)
  Pinako: Come on, Ed, drink your milk.
  Ed: No. I hate it.
  Pinako: If you don't drink it, you'll stay short forever.
  Ed: (Cross-Popping Veins) You mean like you, ya sawed-off old hag?!
  Pinako: (Cross-Popping Veins) What was that, you little half-pint midget?!
  Ed: SHRUNK-DOWN MINI-WITCH!
  Pinako: MICRO-PEEWEE!
  Ed: BABY ANT BABY!
  Pinako: SUBATOMIC SHRIMP!
  • Then there's Al and Winry, both with an expression of "Here We Go Again!"
• Ed meeting the Truth for the first time:
  Truth: Hello.
  Ed: Who are you?
  Truth: (Throws its arms up into the air out of joy) Oh, I'm so glad you asked!
• Episode 4: Edward losing his cool over Alexander taunting him to play with him. More significant in the dub, which is made funnier by Vic Mignogna's terrific voice acting. Word for word, Edward yells this at the retreating dog: "I WILL NOT LOSE THIS TIME! I, EDWARD ELRIC, WILL USE MY CONSIDERABLE POWERS TO VANQUISH YOU! YOU MANGY MUTT!" Alexander's expression as he runs away is priceless, as well.
• During chapter 6 of the manga Envy arrives for the first time disguised, as the recently dead Cornello, where he proceeds to talk about the Homunculus' plans. Lust asks Envy to switch into their normal form, since she finds Envy's current body disgusting, and this exchange occurs:
  Envy: Come on, I'm just setting the mood, that's all. But if I'm going to change shape anyway... why should I be a crusty old geezer... (Envy proceeds to transform back into their preferred form) ... when I can be young and cute?
  Lust: (Laughing) Even though on the inside your the most ruthless of all of us!
  Envy: [Cross-Popping Veins] Are you trying to pick a fight, Lust?
  • In the next scene, Brother Cray, one of Cornello's followers, having witnessed Envy's transformation, freaks out and calls them a monster. Envy replies that they are so insulted with some pretty hilarious side eye. Gluttony then asks if he can eat the new arrival. There's a Beat panel with Gluttony smiling hungrily... and in the next scene Envy and Lust are talking about the Scar situation while Gluttony can be heard eating in the background.
    • Not only do Envy and Lust carry on like nothing's happening, Lust's only reaction when Gluttony's done eating is to tell him to clean up his face. Once again, it comes off as her treating him like her kid, and the fact that everyone's so used to this is hilarious in a dark way.
• Episode 5: Ed having met Scar for the first time and running for his life "What's this about?! Making enemies is something I've never... really avoided... but that's no reason for someone to try and kill me!" One translation went like this: "I haven't done anything bad! (Beat) Okay maybe I did, BUT not enough to get killed over!"
  • When Mustang tries to confront Scar (While it's raining), he produces no fire. His Oh, Crap! face is a "blink and you'll miss it" gem all by itself. But the real beauty comes when Hawkeye knocks him on his ass and fires at Scar to make him back off. Mustang gets mad at her, but she reminds him of his Weaksauce Weakness.
  Hawkeye: You know as well as I do, you're useless on rainy days! Please stay back!
  (Cue Mustang getting hit in the head by a "Useless" sign!)
  Havoc: Oh, yeah, it's kinda hard to get a spark when it's raining, huh?
• During one of Armstrong's (in)famous shirtless scenes:
  Riza: Did he have to strip?
  Havoc: Are you surprised? He's clearly insane.
  • Even better, if you look closely when Armstrong's shirt comes off the usually stonefaced Scar is seen gaping in the distance, almost like he's thinking to himself "what the hell is this lunatic doing?!"
• At the end of Episode 5 after Scar's bailed, Ed runs over to see if Al's ok. Unexpectedly, Al punches Ed, twice, and starts giving a massive What the Hell, Hero? speech to Ed about putting himself in harm's way. And then his surviving arm falls off.
  Alphonse: OH, GREAT! NOW MY ARM'S FALLEN OFF BECAUSE MY BROTHER'S A BIG FAT IDIOT!
  • Then Maes Hughes has this to say about the altercation between Ed and Al:
    Hughes: Good grief. I've stumbled into an extra-special kind of freak show, huh?
• Episode 6. Armstrong, the Elrics and Dr. Marcoh's first encounter. (Before it went serious, that is.)
  Armstrong: WOULD YOU PLEASE CALM DOWN?! (Throws a huge box at his head. Not just ANY box, it's the one where Al is stored in.)
  • In regards to Al, seeing him tucked into◊ that box and in the storage wagon (Surrounded by dozens of sheep) was funny as hell.
  • What does it for this is the exchange that immediately follows:
    Armstrong: I thought he might get lonely.
    Ed: MY BROTHER ISN'T SOME KIND OF FARM ANIMAL!
  • In the first anime (and manga), Ed is complaining about being treated like a child by Armstrong, looks to Al support... but Al is gushing about how, for the first time since he became armor, someone is treating him like a child. And then he gets put into the cargo box.
    Al: This is the first time someone's treated me like luggage since I became armor...
  • Armstrong and the Elrics go to the Rockbell household. Hilarity Ensues. Especially when Pinako tells Armstrong about the Elric's backstory, and when Ed returns from checking on Trisha's grave he hugs him in Manly Tears.
    • Special mention goes to Ed and Pinako's introductory exchange, showing how absolutely nothing has changed between them over the years.
      Pinako: I know I haven't seen you for a while, Ed. But you've gone and grown...smaller.
      Ed: Granny. You've got it wrong, you're supposed to say, "How BIG you've grown lately, Ed!"
      Pinako: But why would I say something so clearly untrue?
      Ed: I'M STILL TALLER THAN YOU, YOU MINI-HAG!!
• Episode 7 has Ed and Al sneaking into Laboratory 5. They find an entrance by having Ed sneak in through the vents.
  Ed: Damn. It's even tighter in here than I thought. I couldn't through this far if I was regular-sized... Lucky I've got a small body.
  (Beat)
  Ed: OH, NOOOO!!! I JUST CALLED MYSELF A TINY LITTLE PIPSQUEAK!!!
• When Ross and Brosh realize Ed and Al escaped, they frantically chase after them because, if they don't, Major Armstrong will take off his shirt and yell at them.
• Sheska has a few moments, especially her interractions with Hughes. He basically kidnaps her to give her a well-paying job, then later turns her into his personal assistant so he can spend more time with his family. As in days later. Ed calls him a demon for ditching work and making her work overtime.
• Episode 8, when Ed gets ready to fight Lust and Envy after his fight with Slicer. Then his automail arm fails from damage to the elbow joint.
  Lust: Technical difficulties?
  • Envy also takes advantage of the fact that Ed can't transmute to land a cheap shot on him.
    Envy: Lucky me! (Knees Ed in the gut)
• Al's confrontation with Barry the Chopper:
  Barry: Fine! But even if you don't know who I am, shouldn't you be at least a little scared [at his Animated Armor]? Shouldn't you be going "Aaaaah!" or "What happened to your body?!" or something!
  (Al silently removes his head)
  Barry: AAAAAH! WHAT HAPPENED TO YOUR BODY, FREAK?!
  Al: Hey, now that's impolite!
  • Barry also gloats about being a notorious serial killer. He gets crushed when Al tells him that he's never heard of him.
• After Ross slaps Ed for being so reckless in the previous episode, she and Brosh try to apologize for their "abusive words and conduct":
  Ross: My punishment for slapping you?
  Ed: Nothing. I had it coming.
  (Ross and Brosh nearly pass out in relief)
  Ed: What's got you two so scared of me?
  Ross: State certified Alchemists carry a military rank equivalent to that of a Major.
  Ed: Don't worry about it. I didn't get my certification so people would kiss up to me. You don't have to talk to me like I'm a high-ranking officer.
  Ross: Really? Oh.
  Brosh: Huh. I guess we were scared of the brat for nothing.
  Ed: (Grumbling angrily) They adjust quickly.
  • Followed by Ed asking about Al's whereabouts. Brosh tells him that he gave Al a Dope Slap of his own. Except he forgot that Al is a suit of armor, showing a big red, throbbing hand.
• In the manga, Ed calls Winry to get his automail repaired after a run-in with the Homunculi and Brosh asks him if he's calling his girlfriend. Ed gets so incensed by this proposition that his yelling reopens his wounds. "WHAT GIRLFRIEND!!!!" There a reason that scene is the trope image.
  • Just as funny in the English Dub...
  Denny: Ah, was that your girlfriend?
  Ed: MY GIRLFRIEND?!? NO WAY!!!
  • The phone call itself has a funny moment. Ed tells Winry that he can move the fingers but not the arm. Winry remembers that she forgot to insert a screw into the arm due to Sleep Deprivation, which leads to Ed reaching a Hope Spot that he's not going to be subjected to her Berserk Button this time. But then, Winry asks Ed what he was doing when the arm stopped working. Ed has to tell her he was in a rough fight... and promptly gets his ears assaulted.
    Winry: (Cross-Popping Veins) YOU DID IT AGAIN, MORON?!? HOW COULD YOU TREAT MY PRECIOUS AUTOMAIL LIKE THAT, ALCHEMY FREAK?!?
    Ed: (Holding the phone away from his ears with a look of sensory pain on his face)
• In a manga-only scene, when Winry arrives after the Fifth Lab events to fix Ed's arm due to her forgetting a key piece, she discovers to her shock that Ed is now covered head to toe in bandages. It turns out in between him calling her and her arrival Armstrong discovered what happened and gave him another one of his trademark bearhugs after he was relieved to learn that Ed was alive, which wound up making Ed's injuries worse!
• This particular exchange when Ed refuses to drink milk.
  Winry: You didn't drink your milk.
  Ed: (Grumbling) Why should I? I hate it.
  Winry: YOU'RE GOING TO BE SMALL AND STUNTED FOREVER IF YOU KEEP USING THAT STUPID EXCUSE!
  Ed: SHUT UP! I DON'T HAVE TO DRINK IT IF I DON'T WANNA!
  • Made even funnier when Armstrong intervenes...
  Armstrong: (Removes his shirt) You sound like a SPOILED LITTLE BRAT, Edward Elric! (Manly flex!)
• In Episode 9, we get this great line from Hughes.
  Hughes: Yo, Ed m'boy! Is it true you brought a pretty blonde girl into your room to service you?" (Ed faceplants into the floor, his wound briefly re-opening)
  • And after Ed tries to correct him...
    Hughes: Oh, I see. You've seduced your mechanic, have you?
    Ed: NOOOO!!! THAT ISN'T WHAT I SAID AT ALL! WERE YOU EVEN LISTENING TO ME?!
    • Made even funnier by Ross cowering behind the door with her hand to her mouth when Hughes first barges in, as if to say, "I'm sorry, Ed".
  • Then he basically kidnaps Winry into his daughter's birthday party.
  • Minutes later, poor Winry witnesses Hughes pulling a gun on a few of his daughter Elicia's male friends (who are only three years old)!
  Hughes: Listen up, boys. You try anything funny with my daughter, and you will answer to ME.
  Winry: Your actions speak too loudly!
• Unintentionally funny example (Dub only): When Hughes says that Ed and Al's bodyguards will be relieved soon, Winry, who does not know Ed and Al have been assigned bodyguards to them, responds with "What you say?" This is likely a Lip Lock error rather than a deliberate reference to Zero Wing and its Translation Train Wreck of an opening cutscene, but those who are familiar with Zero Wing could well be chuckling here.
• Episode 11: Ed and Al have to travel through Rush Valley to reach Dublith, and brought Winry with them at her request. Rush Valley being the centre of Amestris' Automail production, Winry completely fangirls over the Automail models, contrasted by the brothers' expressions of "Why did we think this was a good idea?"
  • The manga shows that Rush Valley is full of Automail nerds. When one guy gets his Automail arm busted, a whole crowd of mechanics swarm the guy to get his business. (Ed compares them to hyenas) Then, one guy notices Ed's Automail arm, and Ed gets mobbed by mechanics who want a closer look at Winry's designs. At the end, Ed has been stripped to his boxers because the mob wanted to look at his Automail leg as well.
  • When Winry catches Paninya—who had stolen Ed's State Alchemist watch—Ed congratulates her and tells her not to late Paninya escape. Winry says she won't... not until she gets a closer look at her Automail. Cue Ed and Al faceplanting into the ground with exasperation, before the camera cuts to Winry fangirling over Paninya's Automail leg. Paninya seems to be enduring it pretty well, until Winry starts hugging the leg, at which point Paninya has a pained expression on her face, as if she's thinking "Get off me, lunatic!"
• Winry and Paninya discover that Ed's State Alchemist watch is alchemically sealed. Winry theorizes that "something's in here he's too embarrassed to let anyone see" while taking out lockpicking gadgets. What really sells it is her mischievously evil expression◊ with Glowing Eyes of Doom. Though it ultimately results in a Tear Jerker when she does open it and discovers it has the words "Don't forget October 3rd, Year 11" engraved on the inside, as a reminder that the Elrics burned down their own house to signify they can't ever turn back after failing to bring their dead mother back.
• When the Elrics first met Izumi, she was bedridden after vomiting blood, making small talk with the villagers. Then the boys called Izumi "Granny" and she threw the bed she was laying in at them.
  • "I'M A HOUSEWIFE!!"
  • Then when she threatened one of the thugs outside the bar:
  Izumi: If you don't tell me where they are...
  Thug: So? What happens if I don't tell you?!
  Izumi: I'll give you this. (Pukes blood on his face)
  Thug: NO YEEAKH UGH AAAH!!!!
  • Then when a crocodile chimera appears, he said something about "I love women! I got you now, little girl!" Then her HUGE husband Sig appears, and shows him who the real monster was.
  Sig: HOW DARE YOU MESS WITH MY WOMAN!! TAKE THIS!!!
  Izumi: Oh dear, don't get too rough with him....
• During the flashback to Roy and Riza scouting out the Elric brothers in the manga, Roy is talking to the carriage driver about how the desperate need for alchemists is what's drawn him out to the countryside. The driver responds that "those Elric kids will be thrilled" to hear that they good enough to draw out a State Alchemist. This statement confuses Roy... because the Elrics are listed as being about 30 years old on the Military's report. A clerical screw-up is directly responsible for Ed becoming a State Alchemist.
  • The best part is that with so many things that happen later in the series being revealed as part of either Van Hoenheim's or Father's Long Game, this could have easily been retconned as one of their doings. It's never touched on again in the entire series. Literally everything that happens, from Ed becoming a State Alchemist to figuring out The Conspiracy to saving the entire world, is the result of some pencil pusher in Central messing up the Elric's ages on a completely mundane government report.
  • Alternately, one could assume that Ed deliberately lied about his age on his application so he wouldn't get ignored for being Just a Kid. Which is funny on its own, and even more since the long-term effects are still there.
  • For bonus points, upon learning about the error, Roy's reaction is to stick his face right in his documents as though glaring at Ed's listed age is going to somehow make it less wrong.
• In the manga during the chapters involving Greed, Ed has to go to Southern HQ for his annual State Alchemist report. Führer Bradley happens to be there and despite Ed having to do a bunch of paperwork because it's late, he just stamps it straight away and laughs.
• When Martel explains the Chimeras to Al, she tells him that Dolcetto "lifts up one leg to pee". In the manga, Dolcetto yells that he doesn't do that. In Brotherhood...
  Dolcetto: It was only that one time!
• Führer King Bradley, hoping to recruit Izumi Curtis as a state Alchemist, visits her butcher shop. When her husband, Sig, suspicious of the pair, refuses to reveal her location to them, Major Armstrong takes matters into his own hands and initiates a flexing competition with Mister Curtis, which leads to a manly handshake.
  • The Curtis' assistant calls it "a friendship born of solid muscle!"
  • Made even funnier by Bradley's amused expression during the flex-off, followed by one of comical relief once the tension abates. Of course, this is before we find out that he's a Homunculus, more specifically, Wrath.
  • This scene is also in the first anime. And this is literally how they befriend or instill respect for each other.
  • The joke is continued much later during the fight with Sloth, accompanied in the dub by an iconic line from Armstrong:
    "INCREDIBLE VALOR! RESPECTABLE MUSCLES!"
• Episode 13, where Izumi and Ed tell Al about... that thing.
  • Then later, once Al remembers, he does the same wavy-arm gesture that they do. It really has to be seen to appreciate just how hysterical it is.
• Then there's the scene where Armstrong fights one of Greed's subordinates, who attacks him with a giant hammer. He counters the hammer with a punch, using Alchemy to turn the hammerhead into a small statue of himself in a body building pose.
• When Greed gets captured, he insults Envy by calling them ugly (which promptly pisses them off as much as you'd expect). He then tells Lust that she can "pierce [him] with her Ultimate Lance" any time. It basically comes across as Greed being a gigantic Troll.
• Almost all of Episode 15:
  • The instant we get a focus on May's Head Pet Shao May, Scar... reaches out to pet her, temporarily overcome by how damn cute she is.
  • May Chang Mind Theater.
  • Barry the Chopper tries to stalk Riza. Her dog Black Hayate turns around and starts growling, then Barry emerges from a dark alleyway, complete with Red Eyes, Take Warning and the ominous "Mortal Sin" music (the same music that plays after Ed figures out that Shou Tucker forcibly mutated his own daughter Nina into a chimera, when Ed and Al decrypt Dr. Marcoh's notes and realise that a Philosopher's Stone is created using Human Sacrifices, etc.). Barry closes in for the attack, announcing himself as "a terrible serial killer feared by all". Riza's reaction... is to fire a revolver to him. Several times. When protesting about "why didn't you freak out?!", she responds that she's already used to seeing someone like him (Al). In no time, he falls in love with her. Made even funnier by the "Mortal Sin" music abruptly stopping when she fires her revolver at him.
    • It's well-established that Barry is completely Ax-Crazy, but the idea that he thought announcing himself as "a terrible serial killer feared by all" in front of his potential victim was a good idea, is funny all on its own. Nice Job Fixing It, Villain
  • Mustang's reaction when seeing Barry harassing Riza is to snap on his gloves and threaten to Kill It with Fire. Of course, we thought it just for extra comedy, until we saw him fight Envy, and it isn't funny at all.
    Barry: Hey, toots, who's the chump?
    Riza: Quiet, you!
    Roy: (Glowing Eyes of Doom) Move aside, Lieutenant. There's going to be a FIRE tonight.
  • The image of Winry right before she clobbers Ed for breaking his arm again.
    Winry: ...WHAT HAPPENED TO YOUR ARM?!? (A loud crash is heard next, and Ed screaming!)
    • In the manga, we have a imagined chainsaw rampage when he detaches it!
  • Ling's excuse for destroying a good portion of a city (while doing a little shrug type dance).
    Ling: (In a heavier accent than normal) So sorry, I no understand much language of this country! Okay, bye-bye now~!
    Ed: HEY! YOU GET THE HELL BACK HERE!
  • Ed losing his older brother's dignity when Al learns to transmute without a circle.
  • Ed, after being thoroughly beaten up by Ling's bodyguards and breaking off his automail arm to finally beat Lan Fan, goes back to Garfiel's place to get patched up. When he discovers Ling sitting at the table (eating again), Ed stares at him for a beat, then uses his own broken-off arm as a club to hit Ling.
• Falman is voluntold to watch over Barry by Mustang and Hawkeye.
  Barry: (Putting his arm over Falman's shoulder) "You don't look like you'd be much fun to chop up anyway. Wanna be friends instead?"
• Barry the Chopper telephones Roy with information about Maria Ross, not realizing that Roy's office phone is tapped. Roy avoids suspicion by pretending that "Bunny" is one of his many girlfriends. Barry catches on and starts acting like the most Sickeningly Sweet girlfriend imaginable, with lines like "your widdle Bunnykins just had to talk to you" and "I wuv yuuuu!" Then Roy hangs up so he can continue the conversation from the phone booth outside, and Barry just stares at the phone waiting while Falman just looks on in horror. What sells the scene is that Barry never changes his expression from a goofy grin, though the following dialogue makes it clear he was annoyed at having to act like that.
  Barry: Don't you ever make me do something like that again, you ass.
  • And the following bit:
    Roy: We'll say that Falman has been taken hostage by a manic psycho. (SMASH) Hey, what was that?
    Barry: I didn't want to explain everything to him, so I K-O ed him.
    Roy: Huh.
• During the attack on Barry the Chopper, Envy is having problems with Lan Fan, so he retreats to a tower and calls out for Gluttony. Too bad Gluttony is busy being blasted out of said tower and falling right on the catwalk Envy is on right now. Envy makes an hilarious Oh, Crap! face right before being smashed.
  • Even better in the Italian version, because the phrase "give me a hand" translates into "dammi una mano". So the scene goes:
  Envy: GLUTTONY! Dove sei finito? Vieni qui a dammi una ma- (Notices Gluttony falling towards him) ...no. NOOOOO—! (They smash through three catwalks)
• Barry the Chopper's questions "How many people get to cut up their own bodies", laughs manically, and, when he is refused permission to do so, says something like "Hey, it's my body! I can do what I want with it!"
• Havoc dramatically admitting that he likes women with large racks in Episode 19, shortly after finding out that his girlfriend "Solaris" is the Homunculus Lust. The "boing" effect echoes in the Japanese version!
  Lust: Quit staring, it's not very polite.
  Mustang: Well, I can see how she tricked you so easily. You've always been a sucker for big boobs.
  Havoc: (With Ocular Gushers) I can't help it, sir! I love 'em! (Is suddenly illuminated with a sparkly golden spotlight from nowhere)
  • It was supposed to be dramatic, but when Lust makes it so Mustang can't make fire, Mustang and Havoc running and screaming in fear is a hilarious sight.
  • Made only funnier in the anime, because after Mustang thinks he's killed Lust the first time, the following happens. Mustang's facial expression is PRICELESS.
    Havoc: Hey, Colonel? Ya mind giving me a light, here [since you wrecked my lighter]? (He pauses for a second, then) Oh, right, you're all wet.
    Mustang: (Defensive) YEAH?! WELL THOSE THINGS'LL KILL YOU, YOU KNOW THAT?!
  • The French translation ups the ante by having Mustang yell : "DON'T TREAT ME LIKE A LIGHTER NOW!"
• Ed and Armstrong find out that Maria Ross is still alive... What would've been a Heartwarming Moment or slight Tear Jerker is instead hilarious thanks to Armstrong's reaction. He strips his shirt and attempts to glomp Ross, and she spends the page running around screaming and trying to avoid him.
• The first glimpse we get of Hohenheim in the manga: he arrives suddenly in Pinako's house after God knows how many years...
  Hohenheim (Mildly confused): Pinako. My house is gone.
• When Ed comes back to the hotel after Al fought with Lust.
  Ed: WHAT THE HELLLLLLL?!?
  Al: I'm, sorry, brother.
  Ed: You...! What...?! How are you this beat up?! AAAH! (Notices Ling and Lan Fan) And YOU! WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING HERE?!
  Ling: (Mouth full of food) Eating a delicious dinner.
  And Lan Fan is eating too!
  Ed: (Promptly throws them both out of the apartment)
  • It's even funnier when you remember that the scene right before this was Ed taking the train back to Central and thinking Al would have a lot of questions to ask him.
  • Then later, this spectacular conversation:
    Ed: Well.. Uh, Winry... Do, um... Uh... Do you remember when Al and I got in a fight when we were kids about... who'd marry you?
    Al: Huh? The fight we were talking about on the roof?
    Ed: Yeah, that one. Al told me you turned him down.
    Winry: Mm-hmm. Turned you both down.
    Ed: Whatever, so the question's for both of you then... What was your reasoning?
    Al: She said...
    Al and Winry: "I just don't like men who are shorter than me."
    (Ed lets out a high pitched shriek in horror.)
    (Flashback to show that Ed and Al were indeed shorter than her at that age)
    Ed: [sobbing] YOU CAN'T JUDGE A MAN FOR SOMETHING HE CAN'T HELP!
  • Ed's high-pitched shriek was absolutely marvelous. Makes you wonder how many times Vic had to pull it off without laughing.
  • The following episode also has a humorous moment based on this, where Ed theorizes that Al's body on the other side is drawing nutrition from his own body to sustain itself. This leads logically to the conclusion that Ed is suffering from minor malnutrition, which then leads to a conclusion that Ed doesn't like.
  Ed: If you think about it, that might also explain why I'm so sho- (Beat, then Ed starts to deflate) -sho...short.
  Winry: (with an uncharacteristically serious expression) He admitted it!
  Al: He's starting to face reality!
  • On a related note, any time Ed literally kicks Ling and Lan Fan out of the hotel room. It only happens a few times, but it's golden when it does. Then, there's Ed's face when he sees Ling's room service bill...
    Ed: Is this... the room service?!
    Ling: Uh... heh-heh!
    (A slight Beat...)
    Ed: ...YOU'RE DAMN RIGHT YOU OWE ME!!!
    (Ling and Lan Fan are sent hurling out the window!)
• After Ed sends Ling and Lan Fan hurling out the window for raising Ed's room service bill, Winry bursts in to yell at Ed for, well, making such a ruckus at a late hour (she's planning on catching a train to Rush Valley early next morning). Ed, who plans on fighting Scar the next day, convinces her to travel at a later time, instead. Winry isn't at all happy at the suggestion that Ed is going to get his arm broken again, and Al has to put Ed's soul back in his body after she hits him over the head with her wrench.
  Winry: (Throws door open aggressively) WILL YOU SHUT UP?!? DO YOU KNOW HOW EARLY I HAVE TO WAKE UP TOMORROW?!?
  Ed: Oh, right, I forgot. You're catching an early train to Rush Val... (Has a visual thought of Scar breaking his metal arm) ...You know what? You should cancel that. Why don't you stick around and relax?
  Winry: Huh?
  Ed: I mean, it's just that, you know, well... there's... always a chance my arm could get broken... or even... (Small voice) destroyed...
  (CLANG!)
  Winry: (Holding a bloody wrench) Are you planning on destroying it?!?
  (Ed's soul begins to leave his body, but Al grabs it.)
  Al: I've got your soul, brother! (Places Ed's soul back in his body)
• Ed's Bishie Sparkle-laden attempts to draw Scar out in episode 21. He's just having altogether too much fun. It's even funnier in the anime, since it breaks out the Art Shift, adds even more Bishie Sparkle, and has both "wacky hijinks" music and scene cuts featuring Super-Deformed, dancing Al with Japanese fans.
  • He badassified a baby stroller by adding DRILLS.
  • The scene after that, when Serious!Roy tells them to get in the car... cue Roy being totally squished in the backseat by Al. "On second thought, let's get out of the car."
  • Not long after, Ed tells the Colonel that he plans to fight Scar and that there's nothing he can do about it. Of course, the Colonel reminds him that the last time he did that didn't turn out so well. What happens next is Ed epically trolling Mustang, complete with alligator face.
    Ed: OOOH, SOUNDS LIKE THE COLONEL'S SCARED OF BIG BAD SCAR! I'M NOT SURPRISED CONSIDERING HOW USELESS YOU WERE AGAINST HIM! HA HA HA!
    Mustang: (Extremely defensive) THAT WASN'T MY FAULT! IT WAS RAINING THAT DAY!
    Ed: WAS IT RAINING WHEN YOU GOT BEAT UP AND SENT TO THE HOSPITAL?! HA! YOU'RE STILL USELESS!
    Mustang: SHUT YOUR MOUTH, FULLME-!
    (Hawkeye cocks a pistol, ready for action, causing everyone to snap out of it immediately)
  • Speaking of someone having way too much fun, Mustang distracting the other soldiers over the radio in the same episode. Riza reacts with some pretty hilarious side-eye.
• Wrath and Gluttony are pursuing Ling and Lan Fan. Wrath orders Gluttony to go take care of Scar; Gluttony complains, saying that he "likes the girl more". Wrath is obviously surprised... and then Gluttony explains that he considers girls a delicacy. Wrath's answer is an irritated "Move and go search for Scar".
• Shao May's pyramid of importance after realizing Al isn't bothered by her teeth. At the top: Al. The next level: Shao May and May Chang. Then: Scar. Next: Amoebae and other single cell organisms. At the bottom: Ed and Yoki.
• Gluttony's One-Winged Angel form manages to eat Mustang's fire blast attack, complete with a little belch. His reaction, along with the Elric's, is priceless.
  Ed: (Deadpan) He swallowed it?
  Al: Uh-Oh.
  (Gluttony resumes tearing up the surroundings, and everyone ran for their lives)
  Ed: HEY, THAT WORKED WELL!
  Roy: THINK YOU CAN DO BETTER?! BE MY GUEST!
  Al: Or we could just leave you behind, Colonel! You're the one he really wants!
• Ed and Ling are trapped in Gluttony's stomach, and they know the Shapeshifting Envy got dragged in with them, so they both have to check if the other is Envy in disguise or not. Hilarity Ensues.
  Ed: How do I know you're not Envy in disguise?
  Ling: Oh, come on. Do you want me to recite the Hotel Service Menu from top to bottom?
  Ed: Alright, you're Ling.
  Ling: And what about you? How do I know you're not Envy, you little runt?
  Ed: (thoroughly pissed) WHO YOU CALLING A LITTLE RUNT, YOU JEEEEEEEEEERK?!?
  Ling: (holding off Ed's attacks) Okay, it's really you.
• "AAAAAAAAHHHHH! CONVENIENTLY AWAKEN, TELEPATHIC POWERS! ELRIC BROTHER TELEPATHY! AAH! COME IN, BROTHER, COME IN!" Especially considering it comes right after Ed worrying Al freaking out about him being missing.
  Ling: Yeah, good luck with that.
  • Ling's reaction makes it funnier. He doesn't even try to tell Ed to stop, or point out how ridiculous his little "plan" is. His tone and expression just scream "I am so done."
  • And in the manga Omake, it turns out he reached Pinako. Must be the hairdo.
  • In the animated 4-koma Theater, he reached Mr. Garfiel... who is turned on by the call, much to Ed's horror!
• In Episode 26, May is searching for Shao May. When she finds out Al has it, she imagines evil versions of Ed and Al laughing evilly.
• The exchange between Greed and Ling, as the latter is about to become the former.
  Greed: BWHAHAHAHAHAHA~ What the hell is a brat doing here? Oh well. Let me have your body. I'll put it to good use.
  Ling: Fine... it's all yours!
  Greed: ...what?
  Ling: I'm saying that I'll accept you!
  Greed: Wouldn't people normally be against it?
• The encounter between Father and the Elric brothers throughout Episode 28. He gets to be a snarker too.
  Father: This is somewhat surprising. People emerging from his (Gluttony's) stomach.
  • Also when Father was surprised that Hohenheim had kids.
    Father: This is indeed surprising! I had no idea he had children!
    • Considering how Father is basically Hohenheims's brother biologically, the whole thing comes off a lot like a distant uncle finding out he has nephews and meeting them for the very first time.
• May Chang's dream is shattered once she meets the real Edward, finds out that he's not tall, and won't take her away from her father. She then calls him short.
  May: HOW DARE YOU TOY WITH THE FEELINGS OF A MAIDEN, YOU HUMAN MICROBE!!!
  Ed: WHAT'D YOU CALL ME, MICRO-GIRL?!
  • The animated version is even more wonderful due to expert direction.
    May: YOU TOYED WITH MY PURE HEART, YOU MIDGET!
    Ed: SPEAK FOR YOURSELF, MIDGET!
• In episode 29, Ed takes a shower before being escorted to Wrath, and has just gotten out when Envy decides that he's been taking too long. Envy bursts in to yell at him... and gets a full view of Ed's naked body. There's stunned silence for a second — and then both of them scream at the top of their lungs.
• During Ed's meeting with Wrath, the homunculus subtly threatens Winry's life if Ed resigns from the military. After the meeting, Ed and Al call Winry to make sure if she's safe. Winry's presumption is if Ed broke his automail again, much to Ed's indignation as this time, he hasn't.
  • As the meeting is ending, Wrath asks Alphonse to stay a bit longer...then proceeds to stab right into him, just like when he killed Martel previously. However, this time, after withdrawing his sword, there's no blood, so he dismisses the group. They calmly leave the room, pause, and finally Edward and Alphonse have a freakout over the fact that Mei Chang, who has been forced to hide inside Al's leg to avoid getting stabbed, just barely survived. Mei Chang and Xiao May themselves are seen in an X-Ray cam trembling in unadulterated terror within Alphonse, all while Mustang stares at the Elric brothers with a bewildered expression.
• Dr. Knox curbstomping both May Chang and Lan Fan when they are about to fight each other: a fight that Al wasn't able to break up!
  Dr. Knox: WHAT THE HELL DO YOU TWO THINK YOU'RE DOING?!! (slams a bowl of food each on Lan Fan's and May's heads) You're supposed to be resting in bed!
  May (whimpering while clutching her noggin): Quit trying to interfere with the affairs of our countr—
  Dr. Knox: I DON'T CARE ABOUT THE AFFAIRS OF YOUR COUNTRY, DUMBASS!!!
• Just after the second Greed has possessed Ling, he and Wrath have a conversation. Wrath makes a derisive comment toward humanity, and Ling suddenly regains control of his body for a second and shouts "DO NOT UNDERESTIMATE HUMANS!" This on its own is not funny. What is funny is Wrath's 0_0 expression right afterward, which lasts for a beat even after Greed speaks up again (Becoming a Funny Background Event in the manga). For someone who's usually pretty serious, that was golden.
• Ed's spectacular Spit Take at Hawkeye's suggestion that he loves Winry nearly drowns poor Hayate.
• Mustang's expression in Episode 31 after Edward tells him "Don't you go worrying the lieutenant either!" Yes, Roy - Everyone Can See It!
• Episode 32 has this little gem: Selim Bradley pushing Ed's buttons like a pro.
• Pretty much anything General Grumman is involved in. Most notably when he crossdresses as an old woman to meet Mustang in secret. The look on Roy's face as he tries to hold in his laughter when he realizes who it is is absolutely priceless.
  • There's also the scene in which he interferes with Second Lieutenant Rebecca Catalina's target practice to deliver an important message to her. Grumman makes his presence known by groping her butt, causing her to miss her target downrange a few times.
• When Ed gets pelted in the face by a snowball that Al throws, in a flashback.
• Ed and Al's reaction to meeting Sloth, who, after breaking into the Northern Fortress of Briggs. He stands in front of a whole contingent of Briggs Soldiers, Ed and Al, all ready to fight... and then Sloth actually falls asleep before the fighting even starts.
  Ed and Al: YOU'RE SLEEPIIIIING?!?!
• When Ed and Al find Scar in Briggs, Scar is being attacked by Kimblee's chimera soldiers, Jerso and Zampano. Luckily, said soldiers have shifted into beast-mode, so the Elric Brothers just shout, "AHHH! TALKING MONSTERS!" so they can save Scar without looking suspicious.
  Chimera: We're your allies—!
  Alphonse: (With Glowing Eyes of Doom) Our allies aren't freaks like you! (Uppercuts him)
• One that comes across even funnier in the anime: Ed is in a hospital bed trying to tell Winry that despite his seeming affability, she shouldn't trust Kimblee. So, he starts saying that during his conversation with Hawkeye, he learned of the terrible things Kimblee did in Ishval. The funny part comes in because Ed then remembers the other thing that came out during that conversation — Riza commenting on his love for Winry. So, Ed gets distracted and to steady his mind, starts randomly spouting the periodic table of elements like the Black Speech.
  • What Riza said: "You love her, don't you?" which translates to: "You care deeply about Winry, right?". What Edward heard: "Speaking of Winry, you're in love with her, aren't you?"
  • The fact that this is what causes Ed's Love Epiphany, which culminates in his marrying Winry and having children with her at the end of the series.
  • Winry's reaction. She basically goes, "Why do I love this weirdo?"
• We find out about Izumi's training from Olivier.
  Olivier: Several years ago, before I came here, there was rumor of a strange woman stealing food from the fortress...
  Flashback!Izumi: I survived for a whole month on the Briggs Mountain!
  Ed & Al: It was teacher...
  • And we see exactly what went on as an OVA! "The Chronicle of Teacher" is a CMOF from start to finish: where the Elric brothers went through a fairly traditional Robinson Crusoe experience, Izumi spent her days chasing down rabbits on foot, harassing wolf packs, and beating up bears in unarmed combat. After the credit we get "Teacher's First Love", a pink-and-pastel-tinged retelling of Izumi's return to town, this time in a Girly Run which crashes her right into a large, bearded man. They pick themselves up, he returns her belongings, their hands touch, their eyes meet... it was Love at First Sight.
  "Just a moment, young lady! You, uh, you dropped your dead bear."
  "Ooohh! What a silly thing to forget!!"
• In the flashback episode, when we're finally shown the full Elric family photo, Hohenheim has tears running down his face, as if on the verge of bawling outright. While this is primarily a Heartwarming Moment and also a Tear Jerker, it can still be thought of to some people as laughworthy.
• In the manga, after Winry leaves Briggs to go along with Ed and Al, we cut to the soldiers of Briggs, who are less than happy about her being gone:
  Soldier 1: Winry's gone...
  Soldier 2: Our precious female resource...
  Soldier 3: I miss her charms...
  Soldier 4: She was the flower of our fort...
  Briggs Doctor: (Trying to be the voice of reason) Our boss is female too, remember?
  Soldier 5: She's too scary to be a woman!
• Buccaneer discovers that Ed has the young and beautiful Winry as his automail mechanic while he has to use the scruffy guy from Briggs. His response is to get furious and smash Ed into oblivion.
  Ed: What was that for???
  Buccaneer: Because life isn't fair!
• A subordinate is getting reprimanded by Kimblee for losing track of Winry. He turns towards the camera and sticks his tongue out after apologizing.
• Speaking of Kimblee and Briggs, at one point, Winry sees Buccaneer's new automail arm, which comes complete with diamond-tipped claws. She starts gushing over it and wants to make one for Ed. Ed immediately rejects the idea, and what really sells it is that Kimblee agrees with him. That's right, Buccaneer and Winry's taste in automail is so over-the-top that even Kimblee thinks it's ridiculous.
• In the anime, apparently Yoki had a few adventures before stumbling onto the Ishvalan camp. The black and white silent film reel style was funny enough, but the funniest is that he tried to rob the Armstrong mansion. He first runs into Alex's two hulking sisters, running away from them in fright before coming across Katherine, the cutesy Moe one — fans who watched Episode 37 of the first anime know what's coming. He goes all 'awww' before she shrieks and hurls a piano at him!
  • Even funnier is his reaction to the fact that not only does nobody remember the part of his story that involves the Elrics, but nobody is even listening to him as he tells his heart-wrenching story.
  • The fact that Brotherhood glossed over the Youswell incident is hilarious in a meta way. Since the Elric brothers forgot about him, and Yoki wasn't shown to the audience before then (barring a cameo or two on reports and wanted posters), now the audience can feel the same way as Ed and Al.
• In Chapter 76, Ed transmutes a suit of armor identical to Al's to disguise one of the Briggs soldiers in order to keep Kimblee from finding out Al is missing. Said soldier's painfully awkward attempts to move around in the clunky suit make Kimblee more than a little suspicious. Episode 41 of the anime takes it a step further thanks to the soldier's Larynx Dissonance while trying to mimic Al's voice, which is only stated (but not heard) in the manga.
• The look on Darius and Heinkel's faces when they realize that Ed is about to transmute a huge cloud of ammonia to block their super-sensitive noses. The evil look on Ed's face is even better, especially with his own nose plugged up.
• After the commander from Drachma realizes he gets a quick Oh, Crap! face before being hit by artillery. His hat floats to the ground, only to be hit by another shell.
• Episode 43: Envy reacting to the "Landmines that only respond to Homunculi" ^note Actually May's alkahestry made to look like there are landmines. with all the spikes, fists, and giant pointed fingers. It's awesome and hilarious.
  Envy: (Being flung up into the air) WHAT the HELL?!
  • Pretty much everything involving Envy in that episode, especially when his true TRUE form comes out. And Zampano shaking the jar with a tiny Envy in it. Jerso's reaction really sells it.
    Jerso: YEAH! GET HIM, ZAMPANO!
• Envy, reduced to Sleep-Mode Size, tries to get away by fusing with Yoki and using him as hostage. Nobody is impressed, but Scar's reaction is the best:
  Yoki: Please, Mr. Scar! You won't stand back and let this thing kill me? Right? (Scar looks the other way) HOW COULD YOU TURN YOUR BACK ON ME?!
  • In the dub:
  May Chang: Poor Yoki. I'm sorry I didn't get to know you better.
  Al: (Waving handkerchief) We'll never forget your sacrifice.
  • The mere fact that even Envy seems shocked at how little craps anyone gives for him (granted that might just be because it makes Yoki a sucky hostage).
• Alphonse meets Hohenheim for the first time in years:
  Al: Father?!
  Hohenheim: My vintage armor!!
  Al: What?!!!!
  Hohenheim: Oh... Er, Sorry.
• Darius and Heinkel pretending to take Ed "hostage" when their hiding place at a local clinic is unexpectedly found by soldiers, in an attempt to bluff their way past the other group. Ed spends the entire time blankly chewing on a piece of bread while the chimeras haul him around like a slab of meat. In the manga, one of the soldiers starts to cry when he thinks that they've taken an innocent kid hostage. Darius and Heinkel also gleefully ham up their "evilness" while Edward is pissed at yet again being called "small".
  • What's even funnier is that while Darius is holding a gun to Edward's head, Heinkel is pointing finger guns at him.
• In episode 44, Ed transforming a car into what looks like a Chinese New Years dragon to hide from the military. What makes it funnier is that Ed thinks it looks fashionable and inconspicuous!
  Ed: And you doubted me.
  Heinkel: Yeah, well can you change it back into a normal car now?
  Ed: And why's that? I think this car looks cool as hell!
  Darius: Just change it back. Please, we're begging you.
  Ed: Oh, yeah?! You guys got a problem with my sense of style?!
  Darius and Heinkel: You don't have any!
• The fight between Alex and Olivier in Episode 45, which is already hilariously over the top, is made even funnier by the epic orchestral music score usually reserved for scenes like the Mustang/Lust fight.
  • In the dub, the elder Armstrong sibling channels her inner Scorpion during her No-Holds-Barred Beatdown of her younger brother.
  • The context of the fight: Olivier demanded her and Alex's father retire to a foreign land (away from the up-coming battle to depose King Bradley) and name her head of the family. He convinced her battle Alex for the right to become his successor, which Olivier readily agreed to. Immediately after the fight begins the rest of the family cheerfully discusses where they're going on vacation and what they'll get Olivier and Alex as souvenirs, clearly assuming (quite correctly) that Olivier will win.
    Father Armstrong: How about statues? They're big and strong!
    * Olivier throws Alex bodily into the fountain they're walking past, half-drowning him, before pulling him out and dragging him behind her back up the stairs into the house*
    Alex: *NOOO!!!*
    Catherine: (Completely ignoring it) If they get statues, I want one too~!
  • And there's this:
    Alex: Please! Mercy!
    Olivier: No take-backs, Alex!
    Alex: Are you really trying to kill me?
    Olivier: What tipped you off, moron?
    Catherine: Try to hang in there, Alex!
• The English dub of Episode 45 has this little gem, where Ed agrees to work for Greed, to the chagrin of Darius and Heinkel.
  Greed: I don't wanna hear any regrets.
  Ed: Gimme a break! I've already got a million regrets! What's one more?
  Darius & Heinkel: (Deadpan) A million and one.
• Izumi's attacking a group, and a control group tries to contact them. This happens:
  Mission Control: Who's attacking you!?
  Izumi: (Snatches the phone) A HOUSEWIFE!
• In Episode 46, Winry returns home and begins changing, and, once she pulls her shirt off up to the underboob, she realizes there's a paralyzed from shock Ed in the corner of the room. Her reaction, and the scene that follows, is priceless.
  Winry: EYAAAAAAAAH!
  Briggs Men: (Burst in with guns) Hey! What's the matter here?
  (Ed freaks out, almost trying to say "IT'S NOT WHAT IT LOOKS LIKE!")
  Briggs Soldier: When did Edward Elric get here?
  Darius: (Appear with guns) Drop your guns!
  (Den bites Darius on the ass, making him scream in pain with tears in his eyes)
  Greed: (Pulls Den away) What the hell's going on up here?
  Winry: Eh-Ling?
  Briggs Soldier: Wait, you guys are Kimblee's men, aren't you?!
  Darius: Hey, I know you guys. You're from Briggs!
  Briggs Soldier: You two have been following us this whole time?!
  (Den continues to bark at Greed, whose face is screaming FML)
  Heinkel: Everyone, calm down! Lower your guns!
  Winry: Okay, Ed. You wanna tell me what's going on here?
  Ed: Looks like a cautionary tale about guns.
  Winry: Don't be a smartass, tell me why you're in my room!
  Ed: (Visibly embarrassed) I just wanted someplace private to eat my sandwich!
  (Argument continues in background)
  Winry: (Twitching) GET OUT OF MY ROOM!!! (smashes everybody, barring Ed and Den, out the door with a wrench)
  • And Greed crossing his arms even as he's flying out of the room, with that expression still on his face, with his arms crossed.
  • Keep in mind: Four large grown men, (two of them are chimeras), and a Homunculus, and it took Winry one swing with her wrench to knock all of them out of her room.
  • Ed's reactionary expression to her sending them all flying out the room is hilarious, and even her dog Den looks stunned.
• Episode 46: After a double-meaning conversation about how "you could hide a whole battalion here", Roy uses some flowers given to Olivier to conceal a note telling her that Selim Bradley is a homunculus. This leads to this exchange:
  Olivier: Hyacinths.
  Roy: You know what they represent? Those hyacinths-know what they mean?
  Olivier: I don't.
  Roy: (Giant dorky smile) They represent ladylike charm~!
  Olivier: GET OFF MY PROPERTY!
  Roy: (Laughing) I thought you'd like them...
• Pride is in control of Al's armor and moves in on Ed and the gang. Then we get this exchange:
  Ed: Heinkel! You guys should run for cover-
  (Heinkel and Darius are already hiding behind a tree.)
  Ed: What the?! You didn't waste any time!!
• Darius transform into gorilla and attacks Gluttony on the cover of darkness. Things are going smoothly and he's delivering the final blow... except he gut-checks Ed instead.
  Ed: (On the ground, clutching his stomach in pain) Why, Mr. Gorilla...? Weren't we staying close to avoid attacking each other...?
  Darius: (Sheepishly rubbing his head) Sorry.
• Episode 49: Hohenheim arrives on the scene during an intense battle against Pride. Hohenheim and Pride stare each other down. Pride wonders what Hohenheim could be planning. Hohenheim steps forward, Pride attacks... and Al charges Pride from behind, only to easily be restrained by Pride's shadows. It's the first step in a greater-scope plan by Al and Hohenheim to imprison Pride, but his reaction to their apparent folly is still hilarious:
  Pride: Are you joking? This was your pathetic plan?
• Ed sets up an ambush by prancing around in front of some soldiers while acting as if he was being targeted by Scar.
  Ed: Help me! Please!
  Soldiers: Huh?
  Ed: My name's Edward Elric! I'm a State Alchemist!
  Soldier 1: Wait. What was that? You said you're a State Alchemist?
  Ed: I need you help me! (Pointing at Scar) Scar is trying to kill me!!
  • Even funnier is how Scar's just standing there almost like he's got no clue what's going on.
  • And then made even better when Ed (behind the soldiers' back) gets an absolutely demonic look on his face, then takes them out while cackling like a maniac.
    Soldier 1: (Readying his gun) That guy's on the warning list!
    Soldier 2: (Also readying his gun) Hands up!
    Ed: Heeheehee... AHAHAHAHAHAAA!! (Beats up the soldiers)
  • Hohenheim's reaction is priceless too.
    Hohenheim: That was a mean thing to do.
    Ed: Aw, shut up. C'mon.
• When the fighting looks dire, Roy tells his former squad from Ishval that if they have a chance to escape they should take it, even if it involves leaving him behind. Used to the Undying Loyalty of his current squad, he's a little irked they immediately agree and complains they could at least pretend they're willing to die by his side.
• Just this line from Mustang's coup d'état, said totally seriously: "Colonel Mustang's fleeing in an ice cream truck!"
• A surprisingly funny if not gory moment when Sloth squashes one of the treacherous generals into the floor with his hand, and Olivier thanks him for it because she didn't have to use her priceless family heirloom to off the guy.
• Episode 52: Alphonse has been trapped by Pride, who launches a shadow spear at Marcoh. Who comes to the rescue by ramming Pride with a car? Yoki, who is sobbing in fear.
  Yoki: I did something! I did something!
• A bunch of guys working at Central Radio pretending to be hostages for the benefit of Central Command so that Mustang and company can broadcast an interview with Mrs. Bradley. Their boss is sitting at his desk, twirling the phone cord around his finger, saying how "They have guns to our heads and said they're going to shoot us if we try to stop the broadcast" while his entire staff stands around and cracks up. And when they ask to speak to Roy, he yells, "No, no! Please, don't hurt me!" before hanging up.
  • Funny also is the boss' reason for helping out Mustang's team. It has nothing to do with getting the truth to the people or anything noble, he just doesn't want to cut the broadcast because their ratings have never been higher (Capital radio was noted to normally have very boring programming).
• Episode 53: The Briggs soldiers are invading Central Command. One of the higher-ups inside says it would be impossible for them to break through; "They'd have to have a tank!" Then large weapons fire is heard. He looks through a telescope; cue tank.
• One almost immediately before Mustang vs. Envy: Envy is chasing May through the Homunculus base, and May throws down a bunch of kunai to create an alkahestry circle. Envy tries to stop but can't, and he's blasted through the floor.
• Episode 55: Alex and Olivier's reactions to Izumi throwing Sloth like it was nothing. Especially Olivier's reaction.
• In the dub of Episode 56, there's this little exchange between Greed and Fu after the latter's Big Damn Heroes moment:
  Greed: Thanks for the help. Really saved my ass.
  Fu: I wasn't trying to "save your ass." I was saving the body of the young lord.
  Greed: Well, it's the same ass.
• Wrath's pre-battle speech to Scar in Episode 60.
  Wrath: Feels good, man.
• Perhaps it's only funny because of how tense the situation is, but when Father drags the sacrifices into his lair, he starts complaining about how their attempts to fight him are wrecking up his house in a hilariously passive aggressive fashion.
  • It's also somewhat grimly amusing, under the circumstances, that Father makes a big deal about how those who attempt human transmutation are punished for their hubris with grimly ironic punishments...and Ed, as soon as he finds out the situation, yells at Father for being full of shit, because Roy didn't even exhibit the hubris that Father is gloating about and only ended up in front of the Gate of Truth because Pride, essentially, threw him there. The fate of the world is at stake, and Ed's highest priority is yelling at the Big Bad for coming up with a Broken Aesop.
• During Ed's second and final battle against Pride, he turns himself into a Philosopher's Stone and enters Pride's consciousness to erase all his memories save those of his adopted mother. A horrified Pride delivers an Accidental Innuendo. It's not the innuendo itself that's funny so much as the fact that it's coming from Pride.
  Pride: Impossible! He's turned himself into a Philosopher's Stone and now he's forcing his way inside me?!
• The way Mustang avoids getting hit in the manga after he goes blind. The other characters literally pick him up and throw him out of the way.
• Ed's Wacky Marriage Proposal to Winry in episode 64 is adorably hilarious. The total alchemy nerd he is, he tries to use Equivalent Exchange to propose to her. He used Magi Babble to propose to his girlfriend. Winry's expression when she realizes this is priceless.
  Ed: Equivalent Exchange! I'll give half of my life to you... if you give half of yours to me!
  • Winry's reaction when she realizes that she has very sappily accepted his proposal is no less hilarious. She babbles for about thirty seconds about all the possible percentages of her life she could give Ed.
• Pretty much anytime Armstrong isn't fighting. You gotta love his bishounen sparkles. Armstrong's catch phrase "This has been passed down through the Armstrong family!" is funny every time.
  • It becomes even more hilarious when General Olivier Armstrong says the catch phrase. The scene is also quite badass, but the fact that even the catchphrase is apparently passed down in the family is amazing.
  • Alex is also not the only one of the Armstrong family who has Bishie Sparkles. During the scene where Olivier is trying to convince her parents and Catherine to leave Central City, all of them are sitting around the dining table and silently sparkling at each other.
  • One could even go so far as to say that the Bishie Sparkle has been passed down through the ARMSTRONG FAMILY LINE FOR GENERATIONS!!!
  • Even someone who's simply worked for them for a long time gets the sparkles.
• The final episode includes the reveal that Olivier saved Scar because she wanted him to teach her men Alkahestry... But also because she wants to mess with Roy. Who, as far as she knows at this point, is still blind.
  • The scene manages to be even funnier in the manga as Scar immediately complains about how the Rockbells, and now Olivier, just won't let him just die, followed by him realizing that Olivier could be court-martialed for this, and her saying that she's gotten away with much worse.
• Almost all of the second OVA. Ed and Al really don't want to visit Winry with busted automail again, but then Ed sees a jewelry shop...
  Winry: How could you ruin it so much in such short amount of time?
  Ed: Hehehe...
  Winry: (Disappointed) Don't you "hahaha" me. (Charging with wrench) And you never even give us even a single phone call!
  Ed: (Full counter attack face and holding out the earrings) They're gifts, take them!
  Winry: (Stops in her tracks) Well, I guess you can't help it.
  Ed & Al: (Wide evil grin) The souvenir plan is a success!
• When the Briggs soldiers rush out to help fight Father the soldier relaying instructions tells them "Target is the man with the long blond hair, and don't shoot Fullmetal by mistake!"
• During the final battle in chapter 107, the Briggs soldiers are told to cease fire and run for cover because the Flame Alchemist is coming. Understandably all of them are nervous. Except for one soldier, whose expression is somewhere between "Excited" and "Incredibly aroused".
• During Ed's battle with Father, the usually calm Hawkeye shouts at him, "Kick his ass, Ed!"
• Literally any time Al gets nervous/scared after becoming armor. Instead of his usual detailed face, he gets more emotive, and he makes an expression that looks almost exactly like "OwO," complete with sweatdrops.
• Even the despicable Gold-Toothed Doctor gets one of these. He gives Mustang a Sadistic Choice: perform human transmutation and become the fifth sacrifice for Father's plan, or watch Hawkeye bleed to death from a wound inflicted on the Doctor's own orders. With reminding from Hawkeye that trying to resurrect the dead is impossible, Mustang makes his final verdict — he will not comply with the Doctor's order to perform human transmutation. The Gold-Toothed Doctor's reaction... is an utterly shocked Jaw Drop. Evil Cannot Comprehend Good, indeed!

The Fullmetal 4koma Theatre

• Roy Mustang rapping. That is all.
• Hawkeye using a magnet to instantly defeat the Elric brothers.◊
• King Bradley defeating McDougal in a very different way than he did before...
  McDougal: BRADLEY!!!
  (Bradley swipes at McDougal and chops off all of his clothes)
  Bradley: OVER HERE OFFICER! ARREST THIS PERVERT!
  McDougal: I'D RATHER YOU KILLED ME! AHHHH!
• "BRADLEY FAMILY TOTEM POLE JETSTREAM ATTACK!"
• Bradley's repeated difficulties using the train, and wanting a car instead.
  "Screw the environment, the Führer should have a car!"
  • The second time, the train doors open to reveal the entire carriage is full of Envy's monster form.
    "I'm serious, I want my own car! *snaps his pen in half*"
• Weaponized Idiot Hair.
  Darius, Heinkel: What the hell is going on?
• In Episode 15, Scar and King Bradley are telling their really long name to each other. It ends with Scar biting his tongue.
  • Scar's real name? It's Percival Ramdeen Gregory Nicolai Chuck Schozer Leonardo Gabriel Socrates Ming Victor Nostradamus Alastair Patisha Vladimir Stiegler Rasputin Boromir Walla Walla Shadigah Alexander Oliver Abelard Ernesto Zippy Zappy Angel Eyes.
  • And Bradley's name is Russell Daniel Paul Blake Joseph Allen Eric Fred Orson Trevor Richard Chaltons Christopher Benedict Garfield Polyurethane Nicholas Robert Theodore Skeet Michael Alvin Carter Bryce Geoffrey Marigold Peter Ethan Aaron Poppa Wheelie Nathaniel Orville Chuck Slippy Slappy Zippy Zappy Angel Eyes.
  • In the sub, their names are both Jugemu Jugemu Go-Kō-no-Surikire Kaijari-suigyo no Suigyōmatsu Unraimatsu Fūraimatsu Kūneru Tokoro ni Sumu Tokoro Yaburakōji no Burakōji Paipo Paipo Paipo no Shūringan Shūringan no Gūrindai Gūrindai no Ponpokopii no Ponpokonaa no Chōkyūmei no Chōsuke, referencing the famous rakugo story.
• Scar attempts to make it up to Winry for killing her parents. It doesn't go over well.
  Scar: I WILL BE YOUR PARENTS!!! BOTH MOTHER AND FATHER!!!
  • Then this happens:
    Scar: COME TAKE COMFORT IN YOUR MOTHER'S LOVING- (gets kicked by Ed)
    Al: I don't think this weirdo is worth you getting blood on your hands, Winry.
    Winry: Yeah, you're right.
• When Hawkeye corners Mustang to test if he's really Envy, this happens...
  Roy Mustang: When we're alone, the Lieutenant calls me cutie pretty lovely lighter! (gets shot twice)
  • It's also funny in the English dub.
    Mustang: When it's just me and the Lieutenant and there's no one else around... SHE CALLS ME A CUTIEPRETTYLOVELYSEXYHUNKYMANLY ROOOOOOY!!! *BLAM BLAM*
• Hohenheim's confrontation with Father is pretty funny too.
  Hohenheim: Hey you, homunculi! You are pretty desperate for company, aren't you?
  Father: No, I'm not! I'm just a people person!
• Ed confessing to Alphonse that they're not two brothers...Al's helmet is their younger sister.
  Al's Helmet: HI, BIG BROTHER AL!
  Al: AHHHHHHHH!
• Ling wanting to put his soul into something fast and strong. Lan Fan imagines Ling as Thomas the Tank Engine. She doesn't want it.
  Train!Ling: (in the most adorably perky voice) Hey check it out! I'm unstoppable :D
• Olivier Cutting the Knot by opening a window for Sloth to jump out of (evidently knowing that he'd be too lazy to turn back). He zooms away and becomes A Twinkle in the Sky.
  The Narrator: And that was the last anyone ever saw of the Homunculus Sloth.
• Nina giving us a very different perspective on her dad turning her mom into a chimera. Long story short, her mom was abusing and manipulating him.
  Ed and Al: (crying) YOU'VE BEEN THROUGH SO MUCH, MR. TUCKER!
• "Did someone mace Bob Barker?"
• Selim's report about why he loves his dad. Although it gets less funny when it's revealed that he really did know his "father's" true identity.
  Selim: My dad is not just the Führer, he is also a homunculus! The end!
  (King Bradley and his wife drop their utensils in silent shock)
• Two words: Sheep Terrorism.
  Bradley: IT'S TOO SOFT AND FLUFFY IN HERE!!!
• Episode 16, Pinako comes upon a deceased Hohenheim in front of a grave.
  Pinako (sadly smiling): You dumb old fool. That's not Trisha's grave you're kneeling in front of.
• Anything to do with Garfiel.
  • Turns out Ed does have telepathy powers! Problem is: wrong target. No prizes for guessing who gets the signal. Poor Ling gets it too.
  • Kimblee pulls back 'Marcoh's hood, only to discover Garfiel, much to his horror. His men later find him half-undressed and with lipstick marks all over.
  • Kimblee brings a visitor from Rush Valley to see the Elrics in their cell at Briggs. It's Garfiel. He ends up with a face that screams "mistakes have been made" when Garfiel's face is revealed.
• May uses Alkahestry to heal the cut on Scar's leg. It ends up also healing his namesake, too.
  Scar *Running away and crying*: Why'd you do that?! My most charming feature!!! *bawls*
  May: I'm sorry! I'll put it back!
• Mustang confronts Maria Ross in an alleyway - and promptly gets his ass handed to him, getting chucked into a dumpster for good measure.
  Mustang: I take it you're Maria Ross. This is where you - * Ross knees him in the face, then tosses him into a dumpster. Ed finds him twitching and bloodied up* Oooh, hey Fullmetal. A little help?
• Mustang takes on Lust using a lighter to work his flame alchemy. When the smoke clears, Lust's hair ends up taking on the form of a bushy afro.
  Lust: Eh?
  *Beat, Mustang snickers at this, causing his wounds to reopen.*
  Mustang *now lying on the floor*: Oh crap, I reopened my wound!
  Al, Hawkeye: COLONELLLLLLLLLLLLLL!
  Lust: Wha?
• "Dealing with Adults", in which Ed and Miles confront each other:
  Miles: You're Amestrians, huh? Your people stole my country and ravaged it.
  Ed: And you're an Ishvalan. You don't have much room to talk! Your people burned down the countryside and killed our friend's parents!
  *Beat. Miles then runs away*
  Miles: NYEH NYEH NYEH NYEH NYEH! Why don't you cry about it? Come and get me, you big crybaby! Now kiss my ass goodbye!
  Ed, Al: I really pissed him off!!
• Hawkeye getting the best of Pride by tying his dark tendrils together and knotting them.
  Pride: Stop! That's not fair!!
• Ed berates Kimblee for putting Winry in peril. Only...
  Ed: Damn you, Kimblee! What's wrong with you, why the hell is Winry here?!
  Kimblee: What?
  *Kimblee turns to face the roof of the building. Winry, sporting a death glare and red eyes, holds a bloodied and unconscious Scar in one hand, and a wrench in the other.*
  Ed: You were supposed to keep an eye on her and now you've brought us all to our DOOOOOOOOOOOM!
  Kimblee: I apologize. I truly and deeply apologize!
• "Beginnings of Love". Darius is either a furry, or just has some weird kinks.
  Heinkel: So I'm guessing they mixed you up with a gorilla?
  Darius: Yeah. They combined you with a lion? Hey! Let me see your paws! Show them to me!
  Heinkel: Huh? What for? *extends his hands out to Darius*
  Darius *with tears of rage: HOW COME YOU DON'T HAVE ANY PADS ON YOUR PAWS, YOU HALF-ASSED CHIMERAAAAAAAAAAAA?!?!?! *socks Heinkel in the face*
  Heinkel: Got a pad fetish?!
• Marcoh defeats Envy's monstrous form - by kissing them on the nose.
• Ed tries to figure out just where Al disappeared to - cut to him sitting in the Central Department Store's lost child center.
  Female voice over PA system: Paging mister Alphonse Elric, Alphonse Elric from Risembool. There's a child waiting for you in the lost child center!
• "Step Forward!" Ed, Darius and Zampano are being swarmed by the Mannequin Soldiers:
  Ed: Damn... how could they even create these things? I sure as hell don't wanna fight them!
  *The Soldiers groan for a few seconds, before saying "Pipsqueak!" in unison. Cut to Ed beating the hell out of them with one of the Soldiers.*
  Ed: WHAT THE HELL DID YOU CALL ME?!?!
  Darius: Woah! He's strong for his size!
• "Sharp-shooting" gives us a more humorous take on the Mustang/Envy battle
  Mustang: Well I've got some unfortunate news for you. I'm capable of pinpoint aiming! *sets fire to Envy's eyes*
  Envy: MYYYYY EYESSSSSSSS! *Mustang sets fire to Envy's hair, turning into a puffy afro* MY HAIRRRRR!! *another burst of flame scorches and exposes Envy's backside* MY ASSSSSSS!!!
  *Cuts to Envy, on hands and knees in front of Roy*
  Envy *Tearfully begging*: I'm sorry, please forgive me! I'm SO sorry, please forgive me...
  Mustang: No way! I'm just warming up, and your eyebrows are next in line!
• A dying Fu leaves some 'words of wisdom' for Lan Fan - spoiling the name of the killer in a murder-mystery book she's reading.
• "The Leading Edge of Fashion" - Al is looking through clothing catalogs now his body has been restored.
  Narrator: Having regained his human body, Alphonse was faced with the difficulty of deciding what modern fashion choices to wear.
  Al: I'd really like to buy this one... but it's a little too expensive...
  Winry: Hey, Al! Looking at catalogs?
  Al: Yeah, that's right. *Al shows Ed and Winry the catalogs, which are full of different designs of armor.* Yeah! I was thinking I should pick out some new stuff for summer!
  *Ed and Winry just stare at Al blankly*
  Winry: Oh... sure...
  Ed: Just don't make any... impulse buys...
  Narrator: Now that he'd rescued his body, Edward swore to get back Al's mind as well.

Other

• One light-novel gives subtle hints to a parental relationship between Roy and Ed. One instance where Ed tries to get Roy's attention by pretending to be his son while said Colonel was flirting with two other women on a train. This later escalates to the point where he falsely hints to some people at an inn that he had a father in the military as to not reveal himself as a military officer. When Ed, of all people, gets kidnapped, the culprits send a message to Roy, saying that his son is being held captive. When the rest of his staff finds out, Hilarity Ensues when they start getting silly ideas about Roy taking one of his dates a bit TOO far.
  • Another light-novel funny moment happens when Ed tries to withdraw anything from his bank account to pay a restaurant bill, only to find he doesn't have access to it. He then calls Roy, who gives him a mission, and then admits that he was the one who closed Ed off from his bank account, only for the sake of trying to talk to Ed.
  • In the very same novel the team comes to rescue Ed. Who in the meantime has transmuted a building. Roy's remark on this: This looks like a piece of art. BAD art.
  • Same context: Al and Roy sneaking through the building. And Al tries to draw his brother out by WHISPERING: "Hey, shorty!" On the second attempt it works... on the first, when it doesn't, Al merely muses that Edward must be on another floor. This is hilarious itself, but it gets leveled up per 100% when it comes out Al is pretty damn right.
  • Same novel: The team finds out WHO was the supposed abducted son. Edward. Now, start they to worry about the kid? Nope.
    Takes guts to take him.
    Shall we hold a service?
  • Even Al worries more about the safety of the abductors than for his own brother. And-as a few things in the novel-it gets even more hilarious when it turns out they were right.
• Some of the yonkoma in the volume omakes can be gut-busting hilarious:
  • Al becomes "Hero for a Day", and quickly discovers how The Hero is very often on the receiving end of Fanservice, which he calls "Non-stop sexy times." Ed has to then remind him that The Hero is also often on the receiving end of grievous injuries.
  • Another promotes the first Wii game, whereupon Roy witnesses a horde of women swooning over Identical Stranger Prince Cladio of Aerugo before the narrator mentions that "When playing as Mustang, you can also spontaneously combust!".
  • Others include Al's attempts to gain reader popularity...through cheesy anime gimmicks. He tries everything from wearing animal ears to losing weight; Failure Is the Only Option. The one to crown them all, though, is when he adopts a Verbal Tic and tests it out on some of his previous lines. The clincher? It's his own name. Is there such a thing as Fridge Hilarity?
  Al: Big brother, you're sleeping with your stomach out again-al. You can't choose this path-al. I wanna become human again-al. If you say anything I'm gonna lose it-al.
  -beat-
  Al: So, what do you think, big brother-al?
  Ed: ...Weird...
  • Another has him trying different hairstyles with his hair feather thingy, like braids, a topknot, an afro and long hair, which would be funny on its own, but for some reason, Major Armstrong and YOKI are trying out the hairstyles too. The Major even seems to have a palm tree on top of his head in the topknot panel!
  • Father's form covered in eyes, wherein they give him all sorts of obvious weaknesses such as cutting up onions, sunlight, and throwing dust at him.
  • Pride growing back into Selim has two hilarious ones - one wherein he keeps on growing but keeps the same proportions as a child, and another wherein his forehead dot is pressed and he suddenly says "Hands off me you inferior life form."
  • A drawing of Father if he had absorbed SLOTH instead of Greed.
  • One shows what would have happened if Ed and Al's positions were reversed. Ed ends up loving being a suit of armor because of how tall and strong he is. Unfortunately for Al, Ed's natural brashness and bossiness becomes quite a headache in this form as he now has the physical presence to effectively push people around, leaving him to constantly having to profusely apologize for Ed's rudeness. And even worse, when Ed loses his temper, Al completely lacks the strength to hold him back, leading to disastrous results.
• Führer Mustang vs. Führer Olivier: During one of the manga yonkomas, the men were discussing whether Mustang or Olivier would eventually be elected the next Führer. Despite Olivier's superior connections and status, the men were firmly supportive of Mustang due to his Mini Skirt Uniform policy... that is, until Olivier announces that, if it helps with the work efficiency, she also has no objections against the Mini Skirt Uniform policy. Olivier's popularity ranking immediately goes through the roof.
• One omake has the guys in East branch wondering who would win, Ed or Roy? Roy doesn't care, because Ed isn't around to fight anyway...only to learn from Riza that only is Ed around, but is willing to take Roy on. Roy points out that a battle between State alchemists would cause immense collateral damage, but Hughes just rented the parade grounds. Roy insists that the Führer would never allow such a duel to happen! ...We cut to Bradley, who thinks it would be jolly good fun, and wishes Roy luck. At the end, Roy wins the duel, but he and the spectators are made to clean up the parade grounds... except for Hughes, who escaped beforehand. Needless to say, this was adapted into an episode of the first anime which was also pretty funny. Even better: this is Bradley's first appearance in the manga.
• The Omake where Havoc meets Catherine, Armstrong's little sister. When Armstrong describes her as having "My features" Havoc has a terrifying Imagine Spot of Armstrong in a dress. (We later see that the siblings have the same patterns around their eyes) Later on, Catherine, in response to a question about her hobbies, says, "I... like the piano..."
  Havoc: (thinking) There's no way she can be the major's sister...
  Catherine: I like to pick up the piano... (does so with ONE ARM)
  Havoc: (thinking) Scratch that! She is 100% the major's sister!
  • Earlier in the scene, Havoc stresses over what Catherine might actually look like since Armstrong says she looks just like him, prompting more than one Imagine Spot where Havoc basically envisions Armstrong in a dress. When she finally arrives, she's about as tall as he is, very cute, and not at all muscular like her brother, prompting the question to Armstrong of exactly how she looks just like him. "Why, the Armstrong eyelashes, of course!"
• Volume 10's In Memoriam. Starring: Barry the Chopper and Barry the Chopper fighting each other, while Lust politely watches as Maria Ross falls from Heaven.
  • The one for Nina, Alexander and Tucker shows the former two flying up to Heaven...and Tucker in Hell where he belongs.
  • The one for Hughes in Vol. 4 shows that even in death he's still showing off pictures of his family to anyone in the immediate area, in this case the Slicer Brothers who merely respond with a bored sigh.
• Curse of the Crimson Elixir for the PS2 has the game's take on Mustang's failed attempt at fighting Scar in the rain from the anime and manga. This time around, when Riza informs him that he's useless during rainy days, Mustang's name literally changes to "Useless" in the subtitles for the next few minutes.
  • Likewise, after Scar shatters Ed's arm, Ed's name is changed to "Useless Bratty Shrimp" for one line.
• The omake, "Dog of the Military", which introduced Black Hayate: Fuery finds a stray puppy out in the rain and brings it with him to East Branch. Since his dorm doesn't allow pets, Fuery is instructed by Hawkeye to find the dog a suitable owner. Hilarity Ensues.
  • Falman's place doesn't allow pets either, Breda is phobic about dogs, so Havoc offers to take the dog. His (Joking?) remarks about dogs "tasting good stir-fried" gets the dog taken away from him.
  • Next option are the Elric Brothers. Due to their life on the road, they can't keep a pet, however. Just as Ed is berating Fuery for taking in a stray he can't keep, it transpires that Al is hiding a cat in his armor...when the armor goes "Meow."
  • Mustang as it happens, loves dogs. His maniacal rants about a dog's loyalty and them being "man's best servants" leads Fuery to realize he can't leave the dog with Mustang.
  • With no other options left, Hawkeye decides to take in the dog. It's a sweet moment...up until Hawkeye shoots a bullet outline around the poor puppy to housebreak him. As the narration says, since that day the soldiers of East Branch swore to never oppose Hawkeye again...

Meta

• Vic Mignogna does Ed's rants while sucking on helium. And then almost headslams the table he's sitting at because he didn't expect the result to be that funny.
  • Travis Willingham does the "TINY MINISKIRTS" line while sucking on helium.
  • Barely the tip of the iceberg where the voice actors are concerned... the main cast play off each other quite well, as you can imagine (and that only continued with Ouran High School Host Club).
• Forget the series, the commentary for Episode 10 is hilarious.
  • The commentary for Episode 36 is also pretty hilarious, especially when they discuss Olivier killing General Raven and how Buccaneer just happens to have a spare pair of gloves for her that he apparently carries around the whole time.
  • There's also an impression of what would happen if Olivier worked at a convenience store instead of joining the military:
    Olivier: THAT ISN'T ON SALE!!!
  • The commentary for Episode 14 (which features Chris Patton) is equally funny. For instance, Vic is complimenting Chris, telling the latter how nice of a person he always is. Immediately after he finishes saying this...
    Greed: You shut your worthless mouth, Ugly!
• Oh, the outtakes...
  • "So that was a No. 1 with tater tots and a jumbo Coke. Can I interest you in an apple pie today, sir?"
  • "The sexual method used in the Ishvalan region-they mainly double-team." "Nope, that's close. But it's called 'dual cropping'."
  • "How about I push you off this roof and break the arm you just got back?" "Yeah."
  • "Hey Ling... (sexual tone) how you doin'?" "What?"
  • Buccaneer reciting "Rainbow Connection" as he dies.
  • The final one is from Episode 2, as sweet young Al gives an enthusiastic "FUCK YEAH!"
  • "Within him is a Philosopher's Stone powered by many thousands of people. You could say he used its energy to claim the powers of God for himself. Now will you please put on a FUCKING shirt?!" Even funnier since Armstrong looked genuinely offended.
  • Another including Armstrong: "We're on a path leading directly to the heart of the enemy! We didn't come all this way just to stop the chance to pass up my balls in the hallway!"
  • Another one from Armstrong, this time flubbing his line: "The Homunculi refer to those unfortunate enough to... unfortunately unfortunately un... folded the Portal of... Happiness. ^note Whatever the fuck."
  • There's this funny little shiptease:
    Greedling: The name's Greed.
    Ed: No, Greed, I am NOT gonna kiss you!
  • In the end scene, when Olivier is talking to Scar, she drops this doozy as she's about to leave:
    Olivier: Now I'm going to go take the hottest longest f***king bath in the whole world.
  • "Chimeras, huh? FUCKIN' SWEET!" Later, "Chimeras, huh? AH, SHIT!"
  • Al's "I'M TRYING TO SAVE YOUR LIFE, ASSHOLE!" to a rambling, dying Heinkel.
  • When Envy, disguised as a dog, starts impersonating Scooby-Doo.
  • This "exchange" between Ed and Al:
    Al: So, I've been thinking about something lately.
    Ed: Me too. I think we should try to bring Mom back.
  • Travis Willingham hanging a lampshade on Mustang's blindness during the last battle. Note this is about Alphonse.
    Mustang: Wait, what the...? Does he have his arms? AND HIS LEGS?!
    Hawkeye: Yes, sir.
  • Hohenheim is one of the many people rooting Ed on as he fights a weakened Father by shouting "GO EDWARD!!". The outtakes' version? "FUCK HIM UP!!"
  • There's also Scar confronting Father, to which we hear the former yell "YOUR FACE ASPLODE!" when he tries to kill him. Father's simple and nonchalant "hmm...." when the attempt didn't work is the icing on the cake.
  • One more from Armstrong: "Let's look at the door!" (Everyone in the room looks towards the doorway)
  • A pair of doozys from when Scar confronts Wrath
    Wrath: Tell me...you go by Scar, what's your real name?
    Scar: My name?... Fuck you!
  • Followed by:
    Scar: I relented... I accepted my only choice! (extends his left arm) I brought that Shake Weight you see on TV! Ten minutes a day, everyday!
  • This gem from Roy and Olivier:
    Roy: "I know it's a little late, but congratulations on leading the Armstrong family!" (hands her a bouquet of flowers)
    Olivier: "... Flowers suck ass."
  • "Sali the stablehand could never get his fill of liquor. Trust me, I've had to drink for him. Tommy's boyhood dream was to become a respected scholar. Jeremiah was a bullfrog. He was a good friend of mine. I never understood a word he said, but I helped him drink his wine."
• Even though he's sick of it by now, Vic/Ed saying "Roy Mustang is dead sexy... in a miniskirt!" never fails to be hilarious.
  • And then, because he knew the fans loved it, he got Romi Park to say the line in Japanese.
• "Ed's Longest Short Rant": See it here.
  Vic Mignogna: WHO ARE YOU CALLING A PIPSQUEAK MIDGET WHO CAN'T EVEN GO TO THE BEACH BECAUSE HE'S SO SMALL HE SINKS IN THE SAND AND WHEN THE TIDE COMES IN HE DOESN'T EVEN (GASP!) SAY HE IS EVEN WORRIED ABOUT DROWNING BECAUSE HE'S SO MICROSCOPIC HE CAN BREATH OXYGEN ATOMS THROUGH THE WATER?!!!!
• Edward Elric's proposal to Winry Rockbell.
• When Izumi finds out the boys attempted human transmutation, she tells them to go out and pick out coffins their sizes.
• The clips on the adultswim website have small synopses next to them, some of them pretty snarky.
  Ling shows how important his new friendship with May Chang is by actually opening his eyes. And the thumbnail is Ling with his eyes wide open.
  Home sweet home. Back to idyllic sheep pastures and dogs with robot arms.
• In one interview, Arakawa expands on Bradley being slapped by his wife on their first meeting/date. She states Bradley asked Lust for help to understand the female mind and Envy advised him to compliment the future Mrs. Bradley's body. You can imagine that this didn't help him very well.
  • For more details, he was actually slapped twice. The first time was for being himself since he had no idea how to talk to women, and after he decided to go to the homunculi for help. Bradley was then told by Envy to compliment her body, so he decided to tell his future wife she had a nice ass, which got him slapped again. Envy also thought the whole thing was so hysterical that they went out to watch.
• The Anime Vegas 2010 Panel. It must be seen to believed.
• On an entirely different sort of equally humorous and heartwarming meta note is the illustration Arakawa drew when announcing the birth of her third child.◊ It's the "Human transmutation accomplished!" caption that sells it.
• The 10 year anniversary comic for Brotherhood.
  Roy: It's been ten years since then...
  Riza: Yes. Time has truly flown.
  Roy: And we've grown older...
  [beat]
  Roy: Were you looking at the top of my head just now?
  Riza: No.
  Roy: How's my hair?
  Riza: I wasn't looking.