Batman: Mask of the Phantasm has Joker delivering a death threat to a foe's apartment via phone... At the same time as a remote-controlled plane bombed said apartment to smithereens. Unfortunately Batman was in said apartment to snoop around and managed to divert the plane with a Batarang, but it would have been a straight example for the intended recipient. The telephone used for the threat is intact enough for the Joker to deliver the following gem:
Joker:*Over the phone* Hello? Hello, operator? I believe my party's been... Disconnected! HA HA HA HA HA HA HA!
In the 3D Horton Hears a Who!, Horton is being pursued by Vlad the Vulture, and in one scene escapes by sending Vlad off on a Tree Buchet, quipping, "This is where I get off," as he does. This is then hung with a lampshade when he remarks that he usually doesn't think of those until sometime later.
Used in Igor by Dr. Schadenfreude when investigating the recently-deceased Glickenstein's castle.
Jaclyn: Glickenstein invented life? Schadenfreude: I don't think he had a hand in it. * Camera pans to Glickenstein's dismembered arm on the floor*
A non-fatal example from Wallace And Gromit: Curse of the Wererabbit, after Victor stabs a pitchfork through Lady Tottington's Anime Hair that leaves her stuck to a wall:
Victor:Hm. I always liked your hair pinned back.
Film - Live-Action
Of course, the James Bond movies have used every variation of these, but one of the most memorable is in The World Is Not Enough. Elektra King is a former lover, and she tries to convince him not to do it with "You Wouldn't Shoot Me. You'd miss me". Bond's ice-cold reply after shooting her? "I never miss".
Also in The World Is Not Enough, Bond kills Davidov to steal his identity, then tosses the body in a dumpster. Another unsuspecting goon asks him where the henchman is, Bond replies "He was buried with work".
In the same movie, Bond delivers one prematurely, after sending a fan-powered snowmobile off a cliff in Azerbaijan: "See you back at the lodge". The snowmobile then deploys a parachute, allowing it to recover and circle around to attack him again.
The other candidate for very first in Dr. No happens as Bond drives a man who just used a Cyanide Pill, and stops at the governor's palace: "Sergeant, make sure he doesn't get away".
In From Russia with Love, Kerim Bey snipes a man who is trying to escape a building, with a picture of Marliyn Monroe, through a secret passage where the mouth is. When Kerim shoots him Bond (holding the rifle in place) says 'She should've kept her mouth shut'
Thunderball, as bad girl Fiona is shot by friendly fire in a dance club, Bond sits her down at a table, cheerfully saying "Do you mind if my friend sits this one out? She's just dead."
In Licence to Kill, Bond has a henchman who betrayed Bond's best friend to the villain hanging over a shark tank, holding onto a chain. He offers to split his payment for helping said villain escape if Bond rescues him. Bond instead takes the suitcase containing the money and throws it at him, sending both him and the money into the shark tank. Watching the henchman die, another of Bond's friends says "What a terrible waste". Bond glares at him, and he clarifies, "Of money".
In Tomorrow Never Dies, after dispatching a Mook by tossing him into a printing press, Bond says "They'll print anything these days."
He ejects a pilot from the rear seat of a fighter plane directly into a another fighter jet. "Back-seat driver!"
In The Living Daylights Bond slashes his shoelaces when the villain is hanging onto his foot out of the back of a plane, sending him plummeting to his death. "He got the boot." Later, Bond detonates an explosive charge, collapsing a statue of Wellington onto the guy and crushing him against a diorama of the Battle of Waterloo, just so he could say "he met his Waterloo".
Bond villains are not above giving their own lines, most notably hitmen Mister Wint and Mister Kidd in Diamonds Are Forever. After dropping a scorpion down someone's neck they explain his absence by saying he's been "bitten by the bug!" and after blowing up a helicopter utter the proverb "If God had wanted man to fly..."; "He would have given him wings, Mr Kidd." They also give the occasional Pre-Mortem One-Liner during their repeated attempts to kill Bond.
OR, when they've just killed Shady Tree, another henchman says "we didn't get the real diamonds, so we need Tree... alive!". They reply, completely deadpan, "that's most annoying..."
Also in Diamonds, when the same henchman is killed by Whyte's bodyguards during an assassination attempt later on in the film, when Whyte finds out who the stiff was that nearly offed him he gets what may be the funniest line in the whole movie: "Bert Saxby!? Tell him he's fired!"
Alec Trevalyan: What's the matter, James? No glib remark? No pithy comeback?
A rather interesting example, in Licence to Kill, James has just sent a bad-guy to his gruesome, messy death in a crushing machine, one he is currently hanging over. When the movie's Bond Girl Pam Bouvier shows up to save him, she asks if he is alright. His response? "Switch the bloody machine off!" It's unique since—given context of the scene—it's almost surely unintended on Bond's part.
Goldfinger has a henchman dispatch a reluctant investor by first shooting him in the backseat of a car, then driving said car into a junkyard where it is crushed into a steel cube. "He had a pressing engagement."
Every movie with Arnold Schwarzenegger in it, except possibly Junior. For example, "Consider that a divorce" after putting a bullet through the head of Sharon Stone (when she says, "You wouldn't kill me, I'm your wife," while grabbing a gun and preparing to shoot him) in Total Recall (1990).
One of the expansion packs for Red Alert included Tesla Troopers who made oneliners in a Arnie-style Austrian accent. "Shocking."
Commando: "Let off some steam, Bennett", "I let him go", "Don't disturb my friend, he's dead tired", (when Arnold's old commander shows up too late with the cavalry) "Leave anything for us?"..."Just Bodies."
Eraser has him shoot a rampaging alligator (don't ask) and utter the immortal line "You're luggage!" as he shoots it. At the end of the same movie, he parks the limo containing the celebrating Corrupt Corporate Executives on a set of train tracks just as the train is coming. When he gets back to his allies, he tells them "They caught a train."
In Predator he puts a big ol' knife into a terrorist and tells him to "Stick around!"
In True Lies, after getting into a fist fight with a henchman in a restroom, he places his head in a urinal and gives the guy a swirly while telling him to "Cool off."
The Running Man alone could provide a career's worth of these. "First he was Sub Zero, now he's just plain Zero!" * cuts a man in half* "He had to split!" * after defeating Fireball with his own methods* "What a hothead!" * After sending the Big Bad through a soda sign* "Well that hit the spot!"
Frequently spoofed on Late Night With Conan O'Brien: the fake Arnold will describe ludicrous scenarios and his "witty" one-liners, such as claiming he beat up an earthquake and then said "Let's get ready to not rumble."
In another such encounter, Arnie describes a plot where he conquers the world with an army of clones, before stating, "Then I will take the cigar from my mouth, turn to the camera and say... IT'S CLONELY AT THE TOP."
Or another time when Arnold wants to travel to the future to defeat Chinabots and Mexiborgs (long story), he turns to the camera and says, "Now THAT'S a blast from the past!"
A Real Life incident when Arnold was hit with an egg gave us, "Well this guy owes me bacon now." The parody has the Bond One Liner where he describes "defeating" the egg with his rock-hard muscles and saying, "The yolk's on you!"
Last Action Hero: After shooting a bad guy that was chasing him with an Ice Cream Truck, Arnold said, "Iced that guy. To cone a phrase".
Last Action Hero parodied Bond One Liners into an art form. "Silent but deadly!"
"Hello? I've just shot somebody! I did it on purpose!"
Kindergarten Cop: It's actually Arnold's partner who utters this line: "You're not so tough without your car, are ya?"
Particularly in Arnold's comedies, if it isn't Arnold delivering a one-liner, it's a co-star. Consider Twins, where Arnold and Danny DeVito deal with a cold-blooded murderer/thief by dumping about a ton of chains on him. Once the chains finally finish piling up, DeVito looks in mild shock before delivering, "Now there's a guy with a lot on his mind."
Danny Butterman: How's Lurch? Nicholas Angel: He's in the freezer. Danny Butterman: Did you say "Cool off"? Nicholas Angel: Er, no, I didn't say anything actually. Danny Butterman: Shame. Nicholas Angel: There was a bit you missed earlier, when I distracted him with a cuddly monkey, and I said, "Playtime's over" and I hit him with the Peace Lily. Danny Butterman: You're off the fucking chain!
In the commentary, Simon Pegg admits that Jessica Stevenson (who co-wrote and co-starred in their sitcom Spaced) later came to him after seeing the movie herself and told him he should have used the pun, after Lurch falls into the frozen-pea-filled freezer, "Rest in peas."
Lampshade hung again after the heroes have watched the villain manage to escape after all their efforts...only to crash his car into a tree less than 100 yards away, thanks to judicious use of swan.note The one-liner might've been "That's stopped him swanning about." or "His goose is cooked." or suchlike.
Nicholas Angel: I feel like I should say something smart.
Danny Butterman: You don't have to say anything at all.
The movie Speed has Jack battling Howard Payne on top of a speeding subway train. Payne has the advantage, battering Jack around and strangling him while talking about winning because he's "smarter". Payne then pushes his head upwards as a low-hanging light comes up, cleaving Payne's head right off. He then utters the line "Yeah? Well I'm taller!". Later, after rejoining his companion who asks where Payne is, Jack simply replies "He lost his head."
In Universal Soldier, Dolph Lundgren's character gets shoved into a wood-chipper at the end of the climactic battle. When Van Damme's character is asked where he is, he simply shrugs and says: "Around."
Shoot 'em Up is filled with Smith, the main character, muttering about things he hates—guys over 40 with ponytails ("It doesn't make you look younger"), drivers who don't obey road rules ("Is it really so important that you get where you're going that much faster?"), and so on. The main bad guy, meanwhile, is clearly someone who feels empowered by his weapon, but is notably timid without it or when it's useless (such as when speaking with his wife)—even as he denies, as a supporting villain obliquely alleges, that he's a "pussy with a gun". At the end of the film, after Smith kills the man who's dogged him all the way through the movie, he reveals the thing he hates most: A pussy with a gun.
Smith offers the following advice to a mook after impaling him through the mouth with a carrot: "Eat your vegetables."
After shooting a gun with a thumbprint scanner with a hand that he cut off from a dead mook: "That's what I call a hand job."
Surprisingly enough, the 2008 Speed Racer film contains THE GREATEST ONE LINER IN ALL OF FICTION.
Pops has just downed a ninja, in runs mom and Trixie
Trixie: Oh my god, was that a ninja?
Pops More like a non-ja. Terrible what passes for a ninja these days.
George Stone: Where is Nitti? Ness: He's in the car.
American Gangster: after basically executing a rival who had demanded 20% of Frank's business, he takes his money and puts a few bills in a jar next to the dead body.
"There you go. Twenty percent."
Steven Seagal in Above the Law while covering a half dozen or so Mooks.
Mook: I don't think you can drop us all, bad ass.
BLAM! Mook falls from a bullet to the chest.
Seagal: You're right. But I'll get an 'A' for effort.
Brother Gilbert gets off a few Bible-based examples in Dragonheart.
(Brother Gilbert shoots a bad guy with an arrow.)
Brother Gilbert: Pride goes before a fall.
(Brother Gilbert shoots another bad guy...in the ass.)
Brother Gilbert: Turn the other cheek, brother. (smiles)
Played with in Lethal Weapon 2 when Murtaugh is attacked by an assassin in his home. The fight rolls into the garage where Roger picks up (you guessed it) a nail gun. However, after slaying the assassin, he averts the trope by remaining silent. Then another assassin shows up who is similarly dispatched. He then subverts the aversion with "Nailed'em both."
This exchange at the end of the same film:
[Murtaugh gets shot at by the South African Big Bad]
Big Bad, wielding credentials and gun: Diplomatic Immunity!
There are a few of them appearing in TMNT, eventually leading to this conversation after a character has taken a fall:
Michaelangelo: Looks more like fall. Get it?
Leonardo: Mikey, remember our talk?
Also, in the original Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles movie, Michaelangelo and Donatello have just crushed a Foot Ninja between their shells, and Michaelangelo tries to come up with a good one-liner afterwards:
Michaelangelo: Donnie, looks like this one's suffering from shell shock.
Donatello: Too derivative.
Michaelangelo: Boy, I guess we can really shell it out.
Donatello: Too cliché.
Michaelangelo: Well, it was a shell of a good hit!
Donatello: I like it!
Hudson Hawk has a few of these as well. The butler gives the Corrupt Cop his "cut" via blades in his sleeves. Later, Hawk decapitates said butler and remarks "Guess you won't be going to that hat convention, Alfred!"
Hellboy, after killing the first Sammael with the third rail of the New York Subway System: "I'm fireproof. [lights a cigar with his still-burning hand] You're not."
Completely averted in Cobra, at the end of the film. Stallone's character, Cobretti has just impaled the Night Slasher on a hook that eventually carries him into a furnace where the villain burns to death. Considering all the crap this guy has put Cobretti through by this point, it's quite surprising to find that he says absolutely nothing, just watches in silence.
Parodied in (what else?) Dogma. Bartleby and Loki are intimidating a board of directors, and one of them reaches for the phone to contact security. Loki hurls a switchblade that impales the phone:
Loki:(heavily) All lines ... are currently down.
Bartleby: Will you please cut that out—
Loki: Oh, come on! That was great!
There is also a parody of the Indiana Jones one-liner mentioned elsewhere on this page. Spoken by Silent Bob of all people.
Optimus Prime gets one in during Transformers: Revenge of The Fallen. In the grand finale, after thoroughly wrecking The Fallen and dropping his corpse to the ground, he quips "I rise...you fall." Not really much of a pun on the way he dispatched The Fallen, but rather a pun on the name "The Fallen".
Sideswipe brags awesomely with "Damn, I'm good." after dispatching Sideways in the first scene of Revenge of the Fallen.
Star WarsEpisode V gives us this one from Darth Vader after choking the subordinate who loses the Millennium Falcon.
Alex noted the Big Bad former Angel Madison Lee "is so fired" after dying amid flames in the second Charlie's Angels movie.
We can't forget about Undefeatable, can we? "We'll keep an eye out for you, Stingray." "Yeah, see ya!"
Indiana Jones gets one in The Last Crusade. While his father is being accosted by a Nazi officer, Indy tosses the officer through a window while disguised as a porter, then explains himself to the shocked passengers with:
This is followed by a Funny Moment when all the passengers suddenly start rushing to show their tickets...
This is parodied in the film Dogma, after Silent Bob throws the bad guys out of the moving train.
And, who could forget the infamous:
"I suddenly remembered my Charlemagne: 'Let my armies be the rocks and the trees, and the birds in the sky.'"
In the sequel (on Home Alone 2), it's "Merry Christmas, ya filthy animal! *more shots* And a Happy New Year!"
In Under Siege, after killing Strannix, Ryback tells him to "keep the faith".
In another Steven Seagal film, Hard to Kill, Seagal's character stabs the villain in the chest with a broken pool cue, after which he says "that was for my wife. Fuck you and die."
From the 1992 movie Kuffs after one of the two heroes shoots a mook in front of his companions. With a shotgun.
Mook: Twelve gauge pump, boys. They only got three shots. They can't get us all! *pulls out his gun* Ted shoots him with a shotgun George: Well, now we know he can add and he can subtract, so...who wants to be next, here?
Right before he blows up a corrupt cop: "I wish you had more time."
In Bowfinger Eddie Murphy's character is an action star going through a script that would have him say, "I enjoyed meeting you, Cliff," after throwing a guy off of a cliff. Of course he doesn't like the line because he feels its too cerebral and the audience won't get it.
Played for Drama in Saving Private Ryan. American GIs gun down German conscripts on Omaha beach. One of the Americans jokingly asks the other what they had been saying as they held their hands up to surrender. The other replies, " 'Look! I washed for supper!'"
Inverted in The Princess Bride. Westley goes through three men and the only one he doesn't have a one liner for is the one he kills.
Seen in Gamers: Dorkness Rising. Theron, goddess of light, is trapped in the high priest's staff. When they finally realize this, it's up to Daphne to break the staff, she hurls her weapon, and shouts at the priest, The light of Theron be upon you! This is the traditional greeting among her followers, but as the staff breaks and the light bursts forth, it overcomes the high priest.
Hans says in the first: "I wanted this to be professional, efficient, adult, cooperative. Not a lot to ask. Alas, your Mr. Takagi did not see it that way... so he won't be joining us for the rest of his life." (which was actually a Throw It In)
Selina Kyle gets one in The Dark Knight Rises after dispatching Bane as he tries to kill Batman, who still refuses to grab a gun even after threatening to kill him for endangering Gotham: "About that whole "no guns" thing... I'm not sure I feel as strongly about it as you do."
In Mortal Kombat, Liu Kang delivers a devastating combo attack on Shang Tsung, knocking him into a spiked pit intended for Liu himself. As Shang dies, Liu utters out one thing:
Tony says a couple of these in Iron Man 3. By far his best is after a fight with a man who walked away from a portable hand-repulsor shot to the face. Not making the same mistake, Tony blasts him with the one on the chest of his Mk 42 suit, breaking a hole in the wall behind his heart.
(Riddick is about to abandon a Bounty Hunter in frigid wilderness): "Biggest mistake: Empty Gun Rack."
Rush 2013: A reporter had rudely asked Niki Lauda if his wife "could possibly still love you with how you look now." Lauda's rivalJames Hunt tracked the reporter down later, delivered a No Holds Barred Beat Down, and then spat, "Now go home to your wife and ask her how you look."