Edible Bludgeon

Putting a whole new angle on "beating meat".

Jake: Do you think you could kill a guy with a piece of toast?
Charlie: Nah!
Jake: Because if you did, you could eat the toast, and the police would never find the murder weapon. It's the perfect crime.

— Two and a Half Men

Food used as melee weapons. Be sure to take note of the fact that a smart criminal will realize that they can Eat the Evidence if the weapon was used to commit a crime without having to suffer horrific indigestion as a result.

Sub Tropes include:

• Bad with the Bone: Bones used as weapons and weapons made from bones.
• Baguette Beatdown: Long, French-style bread used as bludgeoning weapons.
• Food Slap: Indignation at someone else's actions displayed by throwing food or drink in the offending party's face.
• Fork Fencing: Kitchen silverware used as improvised melee weaponry.
• Improbable Chopsticks Skill: Chopsticks are sometimes used as a weapon.
• Produce Pelting: Audiences showing their displeasure with a performance by pelting the performer with fruit and vegetables.
• Shamu Fu: Fish and other sea life used as weapons.
  • Swordfish Sabre: Fish or other sea animals with long, pointy projections on their heads used as fencing weapons.

Not to be confused with Large Ham, even if a piece of ham is used as a weapon. Can overlap with This Banana is Armed, though it doesn't have to. Contrast Edible Ammunition where food is used as Abnormal Ammo.

---

Examples:

Anime & Manga

• In Aho Girl, Yoshiko delivers a No-Holds-Barred Beatdown using bananas against a gang who had insulted the fruit.
• In Digimon Data Squad, Raramon uses Sausages as Nunchucks in the movie.
• In Love, Chunibyo & Other Delusions!, Canon Foreigner Sanae Dekomori's "Mjolnir Hammer" bags on the ends of her hair are filled with candy.
• In Ranma ½, foods, such as Okonomiyaki, Ramen, and Takoyaki, are used as a weapon a number of times.

Asian Animation

• In Nana Moon, Sugar, the resident candy junkie of Moon Haven, will use a giant lollipop to whack anybody who gets on his nerves.

Comic Books

• In The Batman and Robin Adventures #5, the Joker attempts to beat a henchman to death with a bunch of bananas for welshing on a bet. He later regrets this — not for any moral reason, just the fact that bananas aren't sturdy enough to be an effective truncheon. The next time he attempts this, he uses plantains instead.
• Deadpool beats up Bullseye (who is dressed as Hawkeye) with a giant ham — while decked out in a meat armor.

Comic Strips

• Bloom County: Opus lays waste to some mimes with an olive loaf after they follow him from the grocery store.
• Garfield: In one strip Garfield offers a loaf of French bread to Jon so he can flatten a weird lump under the tablecloth.
  Jon: Wait a second. Where's Odie?
  Garfield: Who's Odie?

Fan Works

• In And the Giant Awoke, Tyrion Lannister successfully kills Gregor Clegane, in part due to a cunning strategy involving a shield made of toffee.
• Kazuma V Tanya: After massacring a group of thugs who were stupid enough to threaten his sister, Kazuma notes that he caved in at least one skull with a loaf of skaa bread and likely gives his mother a concussion with another loaf of bread at a later date when he comes home to a crying Vin with a red handprint on her cheek.
• In The Killer Dame (a parody of the Voyager episode "The Killing Game") Neelix has been brainwashed by the Hirogen into thinking he's a Gestapo agent, so proceeds to beat up a captive Harry Kim with an enormous knackwurst sausage, followed by various other foods.
• The MLP Loops: In one Loop, Twilight comes into Mac's bar sporting a huge grin after having beaten a robotic Tirek with a six-foot party sub. Even the ever-stoic Mac gets a laugh out of that one. (Word of the Loop's author is that it's a Shout-Out to the Insecticomics.)
• In Neither a Bird nor a Plane, it's Deku!, Santa Claus wields a giant candy cane while clashing with All For One.

Film — Animation

• The Amazing Maurice: While tied up in the basement of the Rat Catchers' Guild (which is full of stolen food), and getting sick of Malicia's questions, Keith accidentally hits himself in the face with a large sausage.
• Batman: Mask of the Phantasm: during his fight with the Phantasm, the Joker reaches a cutting board behind him. He ignores the knife laying there, and instead grabs the giant hunk of salami.
• Pleasant Goat and Big Big Wolf: Meet the Pegasus: During the dance battle that begins the film, Paddi and an army of backup goats have lollipops with them, and Paddi swings his at Worley, managing to hit him just when Worley thinks he's dodged the candy.
• Disney's Sleeping Beauty has a brief scene played for laughs when an offended and mildly drunk King Hubert tries to attack his host King Stefan with a very large fish. However, since the fish isn't frozen it goes all floppy in a few hits against a metal serving tray used as an improvised shield. The absurdity of the situation makes them engage in some tension-lifting laughter.
• Spider-Man: Spider-Verse:
  • During Into the Spider-Verse, as Miles and Peter make their escape from the Alchemax facility, Peter hands off the bagel he's attempting steal to Miles, who proceeds to throw it at one of the scientists attacking them, decking them straight in the head. Humorously, if one looks closely, you'll notice an Unsound Effect appear when the bagel hits the scientist, which literally says "BAGEL!!!"
  • In Across the Spider-Verse, it's revealed that the Spot is actually the scientist Miles threw a bagel at back in Into the Spider-Verse. When he attempts to use this to remind Miles of who he is, Miles just says that he's "hit a lot of different villains with a lot of different foods."

Film — Live-Action

• In Army of Frankensteins, Alan hits one of the two thugs who try to grab with the plastic bottle of milk he is carrying.
• In Beverly Hills Ninja, where Haru wields two large tuna.
• During one of the slapstick sequences in The Fearless Vampire Killers, Rebecca Shagal mistakes Professor Abronsius for her husband sneaking up behind her and hits him over the head with a garlic sausage, knocking him out.
• In Law Abiding Citizen, Clyde shivs his cellmate with the bone from his T-bone steak.
• Mrs. Doubtfire: Daniel Hillard, under the guise of Mrs. Doubtfire, does not take kindly to his ex's boyfriend Stu Dunmeyer calling him a loser, and pelts him in the back of the head with a lime.
  Mrs. Doubtfire: Oh, sir! I saw it! Some angry member of the kitchen staff! Did you not tip them? Oh, the terrorists! They ran that way! It was a run-by fruiting! I'll get them, sir! Don't worry!
• During the fight in the grocery store in My Bloody Valentine 3D, Sarah clubs the miner in the head with a lump of frozen meat.
• In Serial Mom, Beverly follows Mrs. Jensen home and bludgeons her to death with a leg of lamb while she sings along to "Tomorrow" on her rented copy of Annie (1982).
• Smith from Shoot 'Em Up uses carrots almost as much as guns, most often for stabbing.
  Smith: Eat your vegetables.
• Super Cop: Chaibat, in the middle of a mob meeting in South East Asia, deduces that one of his underlings has double-crossed him. Where he then publicly bludgeons the underling to death using a durian.
• Swashbuckler: After jumping off the roof and crashing through the awning of the butchers' stall, Nick emerges clutching a leg of lamb that he uses to belt some of the pursuing soldiers.
• Thanks to Bowdlerization, we have Michelangelo in Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles II: The Secret of the Ooze using a couple joints of sausage in place of his nunchaku.
  Michelangelo: (Grabs sausages) Combat coldcuuuuuuuts!
• In Trick 'r Treat, Sam attempts to stab Mr. Kreeg with a sharpened lollypop. He later (or rather earlier due to the Anachronic Order) uses it to murder Emma.
• Twinkle Twinkle Little Star uses a half-eaten roasted chicken leg as a tool for spanking.
• The Shaw Brothers film The Young Rebel has a fight scene where the titular rebel beats the crap out of a group of robbers with a frozen lamb leg. And winning.

Gamebooks

• The Warlock of Firetop Mountain have a one-shot encounter where you interrupt a giant's meal in his cave, at which point the giant hurls an entire roast pig at your direction. You'll need to perform a LUCK Test to avoid getting hit.

Literature

• The Cat Who... Series: In book #12 (The Cat Who Knew a Cardinal), Qwill uses one of these — a frozen rabbit he bought from a butcher shop earlier for the cats — to knock the killer senseless in the climax.
• Several examples of Conan the Barbarian using a leg/joint of meat to bludgeon someone in a pinch, typically because he's been stripped of weapons after being imprisoned.
• In Discworld, Dwarf Bread is well known to be a backup weapon. It's fairly good at this, because it's not required to be so much actually edible as theoretically edible (if you're hungry, just think about eating some dwarven bread, and you'll start thinking of all the other things you'd rather eat...such as mountains, raw sheep, and your own foot).
  • They also make their chocolate in the same manner. It's technically more edible since it (eventually) melts, but it's also set out in triangular spikes perfect to pierce both enemy skulls and your palate if you bite it and somehow don't lose your teeth. And it contains nuts. Similarities to Toblerone bars are entirely intentional.
  • It's also mentioned in passing that a young Nanny Ogg, when she was working as a servant in the Royal Palace, dissuaded the King of Lancre from forcing himself upon her with "a large leg of lamb swung in both hands", ending her career below stairs and putting quite a lengthy crimp on his activities above them. (And yes, it is pointed out that all he had to do was ask nicely.)
  • Cohen, an Affectionate Parody of the above, bites his shield because it's made out of chocolate.
• Jaine Austen Mysteries: Scotty Parker, the victim of Death of a Neighborhood Scrooge, is killed when his head gets bashed in with a chocolate yule log that was stale to begin with on top of being frozen.
• The Trope Codifier is Lamb to the Slaughter, in which a frozen leg of lamb is used as a murder weapon. The killer gets the police investigators to Eat the Evidence.
• In Wars of the Realm, angels and demons can translate objects from the human world into their realm to use as weapons. So when Niturni loses his sword during the final fight scene—which takes place in a soup kitchen—he translates a tray of food to throw at Validus in a desperation move.

Live-Action TV

• Alfred Hitchcock Presents: Lamb to the Slaughter, adapted from the aforementioned Roald Dahl story. featured a woman who killed her husband with a frozen leg of lamb in order to keep him from divorcing her. The police sent to investigate the murder did manage to deduce the husband had been killed with some sort of blunt club, theorizing the killer had used a bat. It didn't even occur to them to suspect the leg of lamb the wife had cooked up and proceeded to offer a bite of to the officers. Executive Meddling forced Hitchcock to give an addendum revealing she tried this again with her second husband only for the man's absent minded nature for cause him to leave the freezer unplugged and render the meat soft.
• In 1000 Ways to Die, a pervert flashes a group of Action Moms and they reply via squirting him with their baby bottles full of breast milk. The perv grabs one and drinks the contents... too bad that the lady had eaten peanuts (so the milk had some traces of peanut in it) and the pervert had a peanut allergy, which ends up killing him.
• Discussed with Jose Jalapeno on a Stick in Controlled Chaos.
• CSI: In "The Gone Dead Train", the Victim of the Week in the B plot is murdered with a pork chop; stabbed in the neck with the bone, to be precise.
• DCI Banks: In "What Will Survive", DI Morton subdues a suspect in a fishmonger's by clocking him with a bag of frozen cockles.
• The Doctor Blake Mysteries: In "The Call of the Void", the Victim of the Week is bludgeoned to death with a frozen leg of lamb in a restaurant freezer.
• The Goodies
  • The ancient Lancastrian martial art Ecky Thump featured in "Kung-fu Capers" involves just hitting people over the head with a black pudding. It's devastatingly effective.
  • "Invasion of the Moon Creatures". Super-intelligent rabbits from the Moon are launching an Alien Invasion, including turning Bill and Tim into giant rabbits whereupon they dress up like droogs from A Clockwork Orange and go around beating up people with giant carrots.
• I'm Alan Partridge: Whilst judging the vegetable show at the county fayre, Alan Partridge comments on how you can beat someone to death with an onion and then eat the evidence.
• Kaamelott has an entire episode dedicated to Those Two Guys discussing their latest ingenious martial art: Improvised Weapons made from food. The high point is the extended demonstration on how to fight using fennel.◊
  Karadoc: Step one, learn to recognize punt objects.
  Arthur: Punt?
  Perceval: Punt objects, ones that do damage. Is that the right word?
  Arthur: No, no, sorry, I misheard, punt objects. Carry on.
  Perceval: So, sire, do you think a fennel is a punt object?
  Arthur: Well, I'm not an expert on fennel combat, but instinctively, I'd say it's not.
  Karadoc: Trick question.
  Perceval: In this case, the answer is yes and no.
  Karadoc: The newbie sees it, he grabs it by the stem and tries to hit you with the sporadic part, right?
  Arthur: The sporadic part.
  Perceval: Yeah, sporadic, when it's ball-shaped.
  Arthur: Uh huh.
  Karadoc: You'd have taken it by the stem, right?
  Arthur: This is still in the event that I find myself having to fight with a fennel, yes?
  Perceval: Yeah.
  Arthur: Possibly, yes.
  Karadoc: And that's where you're wrong, because if you look closely, the sporadic part has no prosperities, and therefore, is smooth.
  Perceval: So, you need to grab it by the ballian part-
  Karadoc: -Or sporadic-
  Perceval: -and fight with the stem.
  Karadoc: The stemian part.
  Perceval: Whose tip can be considered punty.
  Karadoc: You still following, sire?
• Midsomer Murders: In "Schooled in Murder", the first Victim of the Week is pinned beneath a set of shelves and has a large wheel of cheese dropped on her head.
• Monty Python's Flying Circus:
  • The sketch "Self-defence against fresh fruit" must fit somewhere.
  Drill Sergeant Nasty: Now, it's quite simple to defend yourself against the banana fiend. First of all, you force him to drop the banana, next, you eat the banana, thus disarming him. You have now rendered him helpless.
  • The Fish-Slapping Dance. Light slaps to the cheek with mackerel (or some similarly sized fish) are replied to with the piscine equivalent of a truncheon, knocking Michael Palin straight into the river. No-one actually eats any of the fish, but they could have.
• In an episode of Murder, She Wrote, a frozen fish was the murder weapon (the murder took place in a restaurant; the restaurant's accountant confronted a stealing employee and ended up using the fish in self-defense). And yes, it got eaten, but not intentionally.
• My Life Is Murder: In "Can't Stand the Heat", the killer smashes the Victim of the Week's head in with a frozen chicken in the kitchen of a cooking school. They then arrange the body to make it look like he slipped in spilled oil and hit his head on the metal bench. The put the chicken back in the freezer and it is cooked and cut up during the next day's lesson.
• In one episode of QI, Bill Bailey suggests a prisoner on death row should request a stale baguette and a pineapple as part of their last meal, then craft them into some sort of medieval mace and use it to fight off the guards.
• In one episode of Sliders when trapped in a Virtual Reality world, Rembrandt asks asks the ally hacker for a hammer to fight the bad guy's empowered minions. He gets a ham. Still useful as he throws it hard enough to knock the minion out.
• The Suite Life of Zack & Cody spoofs this in "The Ghost in Suite 613" by having a thuggish man show up with a club at the door to the titular suite... who then takes a bite out of the club. The thug is actually Arwin, and his "club" is actually a sub.
• The Thin Blue Line: Patricia hits Raymond on the head with a huge fish. Just before he faints, Raymond comments that it was a good thing they were not about to eat a leg of lamb.
• Perhaps inspired by the "Lamb to the Slaughter" example in the Literature section above. There was an episode of Wings where Brian was staying for a short time a Fey's house. While there he was watching an "America's Most Wanted" TV show and saw a story about a woman who years before took in boarders then murdered them. One such was beaten to death with a frozen leg of lamb. The aged composite photo shown looked very much like Fey and Brian spent the rest of the episode convinced that she was a murderer who was now out to get him for discovering her secret. She even had a leg of lamb in the freezer that was "for him", and ends up accidentally flooring Joe with it during the climax.
• Wishbone: In "Homer Sweet Homer," the Odyssey episode, Odysseus's son uses a large ham as a club while driving the freeloading suitors out of Odysseus's home.

Manhua

• An Old Master Q comic strip has the titular character as a butcher when a robber attemps a hold-up. Cue Master Q knocking the robber's gun out his hands with a flung rib, pelting him with sausages before knocking him out with a huge salami club.

Music

• In "Benny The Bouncer" by Emerson, Lake & Palmer, Benny uses a frozen meat pie in his fight with Sid The Greaser.
• The song "Ernie (The Fastest Milkman in the West)" by Benny Hill features a fight between Ernie and his rival Two-Ton Ted who drives the bakers van using wares from their vans. Ernie is killed by rock cake underneath his heart followed by stale pork pie in the eye.

Tabletop Games

• The Rifter had a joke issue with a section devoted to "Food Manipulation" powers, with abilities like turning sausages into clubs or pineapples into grenades.
• Ogres in Warhammer, being a race of Extreme Omnivores, will eat their clubs, but only in desperate situations.

Video Games

• ALF has the eponymous character get a salami sausage and uses it as a blunt weapon for most of the game.
• ARMS: Min Min's arms are made of ramen noodles.
• Baldur's Gate III features salami as a useable weapon.
• Banjo-Tooie: Pink and blue Flatsos use sausages and candy canes, respectively.
• Chrono Cross has Janice, a half-rabbit monster trainer that attacks enemies with a giant carrot.
• Crash Bandicoot N. Sane Trilogy: The double-headed giants in remastered trilogy (medieval levels from third game) use roasted chickens on stick as a bludgeons. In the original game they used just simple bludgeons instead.
• Disgaea 3: Absence of Justice and Disgaea 4: A Promise Unforgotten have "fun" weapons that include edible things like lollipops, shish-kebabs, and baked potatoes. Their actual equipment stats are generally close to non-existent, but they all possess useful secondary abilities.
• Don't Starve: You can make a Ham Bat, which is exactly what it sounds like. Unlike all the other tools and weapons in the game, it has unlimited durability. Also unlike all the other tools and weapons in the game but very much like foodstuffs, it slowly spoils over time. It used to be possible to eat it, but this was removed in an update.
• Elona has equipment that can be either candy or raw, that can then be eaten.
• Epic Battle Fantasy 5 has the Icecream Sandwich and Dog Sausage, a pair of cat toys for NoLegs. As their names imply, the Icecream Sandwich is an ice cream sandwich used as a shield (paired with an ice cream cone), whilst the Dog Sausage is a grilled sausage (supposedly made from dogs) on a fork paired with a bottle of spicy sauce. Matt, naturally, has special dialog for both weapons:
  "You've got your priorities right, NoLegs. You don't need weapons when you can just carry snacks for me."
• Fire Emblem:
  • Fire Emblem Fates: Some of the joke weapons include candy bars, daikon radishes, stale bread, etc.
  • Fire Emblem Engage: Following the 1.3.0 update, the player can receive several joke weapons, made from food. These include Biting Blade, a sword with chocolate blade, Lollichop, an enormous lollipop used as an axe, Swirlance, a lance with an ice cream on the tip, Croissbow, a bow with croissant limbs, Tiramistorm, a cake in the shape of a tome, Confectioknife, a large dango skewer used as a knife, and Scrollcake, a Swiss cake used as a martial arts scroll. All of them are pretty weak, barely stronger than Iron weapons, but they can actually be eaten, consuming the weapon and healing the wielder.
• Gobliins 2: The protagonists need to steal a rich man's sausage (specifically, a saucisson). The owner will smack them strongly with that very sausage if they try to steal it openly, and later, they use it to hit a chicken over the head to make it lay an egg.
• Heroes of Might and Magic III: The trolls hold big thigh bones with the meat on them for bludgeon weapons, scrolling the mouse cursor over them makes them take a bite out of the meat.
• Kingdom Hearts: 358/2 Days: A few of the joke weapons are food-related as well. Zexion gets an enormous sandwich, Axel gets a pair of pizzas with one slice missing from each, and Saix can swing around a giant unpeeled banana in place of his usual sword.
• Madagascar: Alex can collect mangoes to throw at enemies, Melman flings coconuts and exploding durians, Marty can kick exploding durians, and the fossa king's vulture henchmen sometimes attack Alex with durians in the final battle.
• Mario Super Sluggers: Baby DK uses a banana instead of a bat to hit the baseball.
• Monster Hunter has the Frozen Speartuna and its upgrades. Unusually for a swordfish, it is held by the nose.
• Naughty Bear: One of the melee weapons available is a whole ham. It packs a mean wallop.
• Ninjala: All of the weapons are created by blowing bubble gum.
• Phantom Brave: Bread and fish are among the items you can use as weapons.
• Pirate Hunter: Fat pirate mooks carry large legs of roast as bludgeoning weapons, which can somehow do the same damage as sword-slashes.
• PlayStation All-Stars Battle Royale has several examples, including Sir Daniel tossing a drumstick of chicken at his enemies, Sackboy launching a cupcake as a projectile weapon, and the sturgeon from the market scene in Uncharted 3: Drake's Deception being used as an item pick-up.
• Pokémon: Farfetch'd uses a leek as a weapon. Galarian Farfetch'd take it further not only by having leeks so large they can beat things into submission, but also by evolving into Sirfetch'd, which uses said leek as a lance.
• Rune Factory: There are weapons like the Veggieblade (A carrot), the Yam Spear (a roasted yam on a stick), the Dekash (a tuna), the Dual Leeks and the Daikon Staff. The only materials to craft them are produce you've grown or caught, meaning you are literally just grabbing them and using them as weapons. They're also surprisingly effective.
• Sengoku Basara:
  • In Sengoku Basara 2, we have the joke weapons of Kojuro (a leek used as a katana), Toshiie (a swordfish), Ranmaru (a chocolate banana), and Ieyasu (a giant shrimp).
  • Hideaki from Sengoku Basara 3 can throw food carrots and lobsters at enemies.
• Shadow Hearts: Joachim in Covenant can pick up a tuna as a bludgeon, while Frank in From the New World can add a hilt to a swordfish or a shish-kebab to use them as "ninja swords".
• Smite: Bacchus carries a leg of lamb that he wields like a club.
• Soul Series: Several of the Joke Weapons are foods, such as shishkebabs and a giant sausage.
• Spyro the Dragon:
  • Spyro the Dragon (1998): The Big Gnorcs in Dark Hollow wield gigantic drumsticks like clubs, which they can be seen to chew on when Spyro isn't in aggro range.
  • Spyro 2: Ripto's Rage!: Crush's club is actually some animal's drumstick, as he can be seen sometimes biting it.
  • Spyro: Year of the Dragon: Big rhynocs in Sunny Villa use giant chicken drumsticks as clubs.
• Streets of Rage 4: The Mr. X Nightmare update has a giant durian to beat enemies with, found right before the fight with Goro in stage 6.
• Tales Series:
  • Tales of Zestiria and Berseria has the Dark Turtlez, who Dual Wields fishes. It's used to parody a couple of dual blade wielders from Tales of Xillia 2, with whom he shares the moveset, and makes a reference to in his introduction cutscenes.
  • Tales of Arise has a giant carrot as a Joke Weapon for Alphen. It has the second-lowest attack in the game, but an insanely high Penetration, allowing it to reliably stagger enemy with almost every hit.
• Team Fortress 2:
  • The Scout has a mackerel wrapped in newspaper. He also has a candy cane — the description notes that while it's not practical, it sure is humiliating.
  • Subverted with the Pyro's Lollichop, which looks like a lollipop to... them^note plus anyone who's wearing Pyroland Goggles, but is actually an axe.
  • The Ham Shank promotional item for Don't Starve is a whole ham that's held by a bone at one end, just like the Ham Bat. It works as a reskin of the stock melee weapon for all classes except Engineer and Spy.
• The Warriors have certain levels that have various foods (donuts, ice cream, raw chicken, etc) can be used as projectile weapons in the same way as bricks and bottles. The foods can also be used to smash your target in the face with if you're in melee range.
• World of Warcraft: There are several weapons that look like food items. They tend to be quest items rather than actually good, so most players don't walk around with them for long. There is also a chef's hat and apron available as non-armor clothing though, so you'll often see people use these items in roleplaying. Other people will also use them in humorous outfits, since the game allows you to change the appearance of your weapons and armor to that of anything else you've collected.
• Yakuza: Like a Dragon:
  • One of Adachi's weapons for his Detective job is the Rock-Hard Kielbasa, which gets pressed into service as a fairly high-damage baton.
  • One of Idol job's weapons is "Bastard Soda", which is a large ice cream, that deals Blunt/Ice damage. Since elemental weapons are rare in this game, and Idol is a very good healing Job, it's likely that you'll use it throughout the entire game.
  • Eri can learn the Senbei Chop, which involves pulling a rice cracker from Hammerspace and breaking it over an enemy's head.

Visual Novels

• In Little Busters!, one of the possible Improvised Weapons that can be used in a fight is an eel pie the characters use to whack the other battler. It isn't very good, though, and after each attack, it has a random probability of bending in half, which weakens its damage potential for the rest of the match even further.

Web Animation

• RWBY: The Food Fight in episode 1 of Volume 2 has food such as breadsticks, turkeys, watermelon on a stick, sausage links, leeks, etc. used as weapons by Team RWBY and Team JNPR. Also overlaps with Edible Ammunition.

Web Comics

• In Girl Genius, one cook was threatened by his own granddaugh—Aaah! Not with the schlognwurst! It's expensive!. It promptly is used against the Jäger. Other implements include a barrel of pickled herrings and a jar of olives. Bilingual Bonus too: "schlogn" is Yiddish for "hit".
• In Insecticomics, Prowl tells a class of would-be ninjas that anything can be used as a weapon; smart-ass Lazorbeak picks a six-foot party sub. Prowl promptly assembles one and takes her down with it.
• In Not Quite Daily Comic, characters use carrots for dagger practice. Then eat them.

Web Original

• Critical Role: Jester's Spiritual Weapon takes the form of a spectral, pink lollipop that's about as large as she is. When cast at higher levels, it gets serrated edges.
• Since the Dream SMP takes place in Minecraft, a fair amount of in-game mechanics apply to the series as well, e.g. any item can theoretically be used as a weapon, including foods.
  • This has resulted in an infamous incident during the lockdown of Pandora's Vault, where Dream uses a raw potato to give Tommy, who was visiting him, a No-Holds-Barred Beatdown, taking his third canon life (though he gets brought Back from the Dead later).
  • The aforementioned incident is implied to be flipped back around on Dream, as one of the torture implements Quackity uses on him is shown to be a raw potato.
• One variation of the Katanas are Underpowered in d20 Modern copypasta is that Quiches are underpowered in GURPS.
• Stampy's Lovely World:
  • The minigame 'Broth Brawl' involves knocking people into the "broth" (water) with pieces of food, which includes and is not limited to potatoes, carrots, fish, mushrooms and loaves of bread.
  • In Episode 450, "Fizzylympics", one of the events in the eponymous tournament is knocking competitors into the sea with cookies, much like in 'Broth Brawl'.

Western Animation

• In the pilot episode of Adventures of the Gummi Bears, Kevin clubs an ogre in the head from behind with a ham leg.
• In the Season 3 episode of The Amazing World of Gumball, "The Nobody", Gumball is examining various kitchen implements to use as a weapon against Rob, before being warned by Darwin that they may be used against him. With this in mind, the weapon he finally chooses is a sausage.
• In The Batman, Joker sets up an ambush for a vigilante targeting super-villains. His henchmen are armed with pies. Granted it's silly, but since this is the Joker we're talking about, chances are they aren't safe for consumption.
• Batman: The Animated Series: Harley Quinn once knocked out a thug with a cod. While telling him to grab his own hostage.
• Broadway smacks someone with a drumstick he pulled off of a cooked animal in an earlier Gargoyles episode.
• An episode of Phineas and Ferb had Dr. Doofenshmirtz and Perry dueling with hotdogs and bratwursts. Doubles as a homage to Star Wars.
• Rocket Robin Hood featured fight scenes in which a hambone and a sack of flour would be used as weapons.
• The Simpsons:
  • Bart once tormented Principal Skinner with peanuts (Skinner has a peanut allergy). Skinner eventually retaliates when he discovers that Bart is allergic to shrimp. They end up fencing each other, with Bart wielding a peanut on a stick and Skinner wielding a shrimp on a stick (as if they were lightsabers, complete with Duel of the Fates playing). They both wind up falling into a vat full of peanut shrimp.
  • The Season 29 premier High Fantasy episode "The Serfsons" has Homer convince the peasants to revolt against the rich. Everyone takes up the nearest weapon they can find. Nelson grabs a couple of baguettes, which he uses to easily decapitate one soldier and stab a giant gaping hole through another's armored chest with zero effort.
• An episode from the 90s cartoon adaptation of Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles involves a battle between the heroes and the Shredder in the kitchen of a pizza parlor. Hilarity Ensues.
• In the beginning of X-Men: Evolution's third season, Wolverine and Rogue evade capture by authorities by using a small convenience store's grocery items to blind and disorient, but not hurt them...too much...before making their getaway.

Real Life

• Kiwami Japan has made a wide variety of knives out of edible substances, including chocolate, eggs, gelatin, milk, rice and potatoes.
• There is a story about a deli owner breaking a would-be robber's nose with a salami.
• Another real life story in which a man is jailed for attacking his wife...with a sandwich.

---