Write a Badfic

Indigo still narreting. Anyway, here's what happened:

Gla Dos exploded! There were lotts of sparks that flew off and lots of glass shrads too. I put up shield and was able to cont. doing it with Red. We were going at it like wild animals and crieing out in plushure. Then Aryll woke up.

"U are not suposed to do it in btlle!" Aryll shooted as she broke Indig's shield and used Weather Control powers to make it rain.

"Ok ok!!1" I shooted and began figthing Caitlin and smashing him up with Ice powers. I smashed his Megaphone then Calgro smashed him up and killed him. Now he was dead!

Zack however was figthing against Ventred and spamming ligthining spells. Cid was also helping him. I got out a new armour made for me by Bill Nye The Science Guy secretly be4 we killed him.

"Transmogrifier Armour!" I was now clad in a bikini made of cardbored boxes and had brazelets made of cardboard as well. I pointed the bracelets at Zack and Cid and sed: "Becum Owles!"

Zak and Cid became owls and then they got cooked by Lascannons. Red was turned on (by my armor, not teh owls being cooked) and we had sex while Aryll's nut looking.

Aoshiro here again.

"GYAH! WY OH WY DO U HAVE TO COM BAC ARTHUR?!" I said as our swords clashed.

"I'm an integral part of you now," said the Fanfic Author while we fought. "Your new powers can only exist as long as I am inside you, meaning that if you banish me or destroy me completely, you'll lose your extra levels in badass."

"What?!!!111" I then took out my Zanpaktou and said: "Stupefy!"

Arthur batted aside the stunning spell and said: "It'll take more than that to stop me from interfering. Think up another solution, psycho."

Then he made the entire battlefield burst into flame with flames from kairi bashing.net!

edited 10th Jan '11 4:40:26 AM by BadficFetish

(OOC: Not sure if that's what you meant by "another solution," but we need more disregard and hand-waving for this story's "canon/continuity" anyway.)

AN: I red a revew that evry1 is to perfect so i will make a char not perfict and EVOL!!11111

This is Indigo Again, lol.

then cloud limit breaked and killd all the wizerds with Onmislash!1then he bagan fiting Aryll! Aryll killd Ariesth relly fast by stabbing her from above with no blood and then fot him bak. Aryll as finght him,but he kept shot litening at her and he had to doge or get fired!!!!111one

Then Cat Sith and his cosin Big the Cat got torn apart by Ultramarines and Halo's but nobodie gave a shit b/c he had down sidrome and waz theirfour EVOL exept Yuffie but the she started to fight agenst the Chocobos.

Then aryll summond legion of crows and attack Could! Cloud fote them off and then aryll hid in some trre's and the rain made it hard to see and the she sed "come and find me teehee" in a creepy vampirey voice and Cloud got shivers from afraid and began to look for her

We began to fite among the flame's and then ocasionaly we'd get pushed back to much and get stung by da flames which would also screech liek agnry fangirs which was axully pretty acurit!!

But things were still hard and i nedded to figur out how to defeat him and kep my powers. But he was a author so he could not be conkerd, right?????//////

Then........ I had an idea! Bcuz it was a spirit, it would work in this mind only battle!1 also, i new it wood work bcuz of my hawtness and she would listen for the sexx

"Hey, Arthur," I said gloatingy, "when we've been having all these adventures, have you ever gotten homesick or missde you're family??"

Then bcuz this was a mind battle, Arthur panicked.

"I SUMMON THEEE,........ ......................................................

CHARLOTT!!"

I had some weird desha vú bcuz Arthur sayed "Oh, shit."

"Whose the psycho now??!1/?"

Then their was a pulse as mindness toar open.

((OOC: I was thinking of having Aoshiro summon Ryuk, just as a reminder that he's still part of the alliance. But this is a bit better.))

Indigo narrating. Anyway, tunes out that the Ultramarines summoned the Space Wolves even though they were already controlled by Aoshiro. Now everything was chaos as the Wolfs didn't know who was enemy or who was friend.

Then suddenly, Reeve, the person who was conrtrolling Cait Sith like Jax Sully controlled his Avotar in Avatar came in and said:

"Hey! Down Syndrome is not a funny disease. Stop circulating steryotypes."

I looked at him and saw that he was howt. I threw away Red and snuffed him. Then I poured some more Pheromones (for humens this time) on myself and made myself look sexyed. Then I ordered teh Chocobos to atack Reeve and take of his colths.

They did so. And then we (Censored) (Censored) (Censored). It was hawt.

Then Cloud got killed by Aryll who didn't notice that we were sexing again.

Aoshiro here and narreting.

"Give me a reason why should I obey you?" Said Charlot. "What have you done to impress me since our last encounter, Shinigami Stu?"

"I tortured and Soulforged a Wraith to make a Trope Gun and a set of Trope Bullets. Then I discovered that I was Arthur's Spectre, invaded Soul Society, and now I have the Ultramarines under my control. How's that?" I smirked.

"Hmm..." said Charlot. "You Pass. Luckily for you, I like Cute Shotaro Boys, If You Know What I Mean."

Then she got out two swords of OC Erasing Energy, and turned towards Arthur. "As for you..." She licked her lips.

But Arthur shot out a bullet marked First Law of Resurrection. Out came....Kikiyo!

"Plotvision has told me that I would lose. All that remains is how much damage I can inflict." The Fanfic Author spoke as his Infinity +1 Sword faded. He then got out a Royal Death Note. He wrote:

"Indigo."

edited 13th Jan '11 6:55:06 AM by BadficFetish

NOOOOOOOO!!!!!1111" I shouted at Arthur. "Why Indogo?!"

"Because Plotvision has told me that I could only kill one person before I am defeated. Your second in command and primary accomplice in your atrocities seemed like a good bet," Arthur said coldly. He had no rite to d that evn tho Indogo focred Red and Reeve to sex wid her using Pheromonies.

"U WILL PAY!" I sooted loudly. "And I Must Scream Jutsu!"

Arthur was covered by crystalis all over and he was unable to fite me N.E. more (haha geddit anymore?).

However, Charlot was being purified by Kikiyo with arrows! I got out mace and hit her with it. Charlot then stabbed her with giant pencil. She dyed. Then, I went bac to my own bodi!

"Sectumsempra!" I said to Barret who died. "Story Expulsion Technique Grande!" I said to the Space Wolfs who were expelled frum teh story so that they would not be teh Spanner in the Works. Then I killed Yufie and that ended the battle (Tifa was still being sexed by Chicabo and Chocobos).

"THIS ARC IS OVER!!!111" I said hamly. I ressurected Indigo and then I ressurected Charlot giving her a living body as I don't liek necrophelia. We all haid sex.

A Month Later

We had konsolidated our hold upon Ultramar and all the planets held by the Successor Chapters of the Ultra Marnies. We went back to Aizen's mansion which was now ours and had Snapsui and Loopintake rule over Ultramar in our abscence. W now had more food and money and wine and serfs. We also had beautiful paintings liek teh Mona Lisa which we took from the Louvre.

There was lots of sexing and sexing every day especially that day when the ICarly and the Neds Declassified School Survival Guide casts came to sex in public thanks tu Chracter Derilment.

Then suddenly, Feanor came in with the Warhammer 40K Eldar in tow! I was surprised and prepared for battle. But Feanor just sent a message over the radio saying: "Aoshiro Hitsugayt, I need your help."

I then stopped preparing for battle and replied: "Why?"

"It has been recently revealed that The Foundation has the Silmarils, and is trying to use them as a power source to fuel a new Superweapon to use against you. Beacuse of that, I have decided that it is in both our interests to participate in a military action against them. You get plunder and new dominions, I get my greatest creations back. What say you?"

Done!" I said and began mustering my armies.

((OOC: And now, we are on our penultimate arc.))

edited 16th Jan '11 1:27:25 AM by BadficFetish

Thanks to my Retcon spell, the Ultramarines and their Sucessor Chapters were mine, as well as armies of Imperial Guard and other Imperium Mooks. I also had lots of Mecernaries including Sardaukar, Spathan IIs, Pokemon, Digimon, Shin Megami Tensei Demons, Daleks, Fast Zombies, and Exalted of all types.

There were once Alchemists, Mages, and Hunters in teh army but they kere killed by teh Daleks for desserting. Lozerz.

I got out twenty thousand Space Marines, forty million Imperial Guard and other mooks, fifty thousand Daleks, thirty thousand Pokemon, Digimon and Demonz, and three hundred thousand Sardaukar and one hundred thousand Spartens. We took ten Exalted.

We were joined by Feanor who had fifty million Eldar (including Dork Eldar and Harlequins). Together, we left for The Foundation!

We began exterminating all planets on our path. One half of the people had their souls eaten by me, the other half became Soulsteel. In no time at all, we reached Terminus, The Foundation's capital.

"Give up teh Silmarils Funadtion Scom!" I shooted angrily.

"Never!" They said and began powering up the Superweapon. I laufed and prepared to blast them. But then suddenly.......Sora, Riku, and Kairi and King Mickey portaled into the room!

"Surrender!" They said.

edited 17th Jan '11 6:37:36 AM by BadficFetish

I really quick blaseted them with their own superweapon and then I turned to do kung foo with Sora Riku and Mikey and Kairi and also Roxas who used majic to havew a body besides Soras and Cris Thorndike who was his long lost twin brother

then they all cam at me one at a tiem and then sora tryed to punching me but then I blocked and then i did i bicicle kick and then did a round house and then i punched mickey mousse in the face and then punched hi in the thorat and then i didi moar kung foo and his head EXPOLDED!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!11111111111 nad then Roxas ried to shot me withshadow magic up but then i blocked with it a trope gun shiled and then i used waxon waxoff moves and he die! and then kairi ripped off Cris's head and used it as a flail with his spien and then and then their was much happyness and then i blocked and used my zanpaktou to counter it and then Sora cam back up i bloked it with a jump up in the air type kick thing and then i grabbed sora and thru him into Kairi and Kairi was dead

Then I then did moar kumg foo at Roxas and Sora and then Indigo used Yaoi Fangit powers that she just now got and they bagan to make out with each other. then i broke Sora's neck and then punched a hole in Roxa's chest.

and i also did all that in less than 30 second bcuz i am such a fucking badass

after we got away from all the corpes and stuff we set up another base with a teleporker to Aixens mansion and also to the soul sosiety placas in Terminus which was B Tdubs on a planet that was made of Solid Golds and also was inhabited by perragrin falcons that played Electric Gitars while on fier and it was XTREEEM AND AWESOME! .

then, indigo has sexx with me and it was soooooo hawt and then she did moar things that ff.net wont let me say to keep this rateing so FUK U FF.NET but anyway we had hardcore sexx and then hei and smamnatha and Hei also had sexx and we all did it coverd in Hony.

then we called Arceus and the guy in charg of Digimonz and the Shinigammy king and the most evillest dark eldar and also Sephiroth and we began to plan out our battle.We did not let Aryll com because she is need to protect her inosense.

We began to then talk about then we sat down to discus our next battle plan.

MENWILE, FAR FAR AWAY!!!!!!!!!!!!!11111111

"...we can no longer do this alone. Call in for backup."

The Polluted City Of Neo-Venezia

Seven days after Muraki and Gauron had called in for backup, the members of the Leauge of Lesser Evils (so-called not because they were weak, but because they were a lesser threat than the Shinigami Villain Stu Aoshiro) began arriving.

First came Volxemort, followed by Cornelio F**k and Dolores Bridge. Also with them was Looten Plunder, who although he lived in Neo-Venezia now, had to deal with the problem of tainted Whaladon meat first before coming to Muraki's summons.

Then came the army of Black Lanterns that he had hired to protect his factories from Aoshiro's attack. Being the one force that had sucessfuly defeated the Shinigami Marty Stu, they were looked upon with respect by the one million Fangits (that term was just catchy) that had escaped from the Draco in Leather Pants convention in Paris and now wanted revenge.

Sosuke Aizen was fashionably late. As the work where Muraki came from, Yami No Matsuei, was written in 1995 (Bleach was written in 2001), the depraved doctor had taken advantage of the twisted seniority rules that allowed Feanor to take control of the Warhammer 40K Eldar to gain the Shinigami as his minion, at least temporarily (for both their sakes, Muraki hoped that Aizen would refrain from using his Magnificent Bastardry to get out of the arrangement until Aoshiro was defeated).

Orochimaru, who had teleported offscreen was a last-minute addition to the ranks. Recently ressurected thanks to a Plot Hole just like Muraki, Gauron and Aizen, he had been working on regaining much of his power just before the summons.

Now, all of the named characters were standing in a circle around a plaza that had been blackened by pollution. They were holding out candlesticks, chanting words of black magic that reached up into the grey sky. For some of them, this was Character Derailment, but that was expected in a world such as this.

This was their last chance. By choosing to act in the defense of their own interests, they had made themselves the last barrier to the evil engulfing The Multiverse. Soon, their twisted determination will be tested by the tempest, and the next few hours will determine the shape of the new era.

Soul Society War Room

I, Aoshiro, spoke to the throng: "Muraki will be the next enemy. My Plotvision has grown over the past few days, and I can say it is the truth."

"By the way, are you sure you should allow Feanor and Biel-Tan to occupy the Foundation worlds? Watching that galaxy fall into thirty thousand years of barbarism sounds like a pleasurable experience." said Charlot.

"Now now, Feanor is one character that should be rewarded for his troubles. As long as he rules the New Eldar Empire, there is no chance of it posing a threat against us. Besides, we're about to become stronger than he is, if we aren't already."

Indigo then said: "Muraki will try to find a way to match his powers with ours. He knows that even with Gauron-if he got ressurected as well-he can't have a chance of beating us without help."

"And don't forget that his plan to sacrifice us all to gain the power to rule The Multiverse is still viable. Unless we die naturally-which will never happen-our deaths will still mean his elevation." Samantha replied from her seat next to Hei.

Sepiroth said: "Shoudn't we try to locate Muraki? I'm pretty sure he's-"

Aryll then barged into the room, breaking down the Soulsteel doors. "A Whaladon informer gave me a report: Muraki and his friends are on Mars!"

"Is our base on Olympus Mons still intact?" I said to the Vampire girl, forgiving her intrusion.

"Yes, but Fangits and other mooks have gotten past the automated defences. We still have a teleporter, though."

"Then we go! This day will be a Day of Reckoning." I, Indigo, Aryll, Charlot, Ebony, Samantha and Hei then left.

And so begins Aoshiro Hitugayt AU: The Final Act!

edited 22nd Jan '11 2:16:22 AM by BadficFetish

Olympus Mons

On the way, we gathered several hundred Space Marines, Sardaukar, Daleks, and Spatan-I Is. We also sent orders for Pokemon, Digimon, Demonz, Imperial Guard and Fast Zombies to follow once we take teh base. We then created a portal and we went to Mars!

There, we found Fangits and Block Lanterns messing up the place. We began killing. Once we had our Techicians make sure that the base was secure, we prepped up the teleporter and sent the signal to our troops. Then, we rushed out because the base was too small to hold us all.

The Battle had began!

Neo-Venezia

"Masters!" Cried a Black Lantern who had been patrolling the suburbs. "Enemy forces are swarming out of the the old base on Olympus Mons, all our forces there are reported dead!"

"So he comes." Said Muraki. "But it is far too late for him to stop the summoning." He continued chanting, and as the words dedicated to the spirits of badfic reverbrerated through the air, diabolical black smoke began to emanate from the center of the circle. Seeing their cue, the various participants of the ritual raised their candlesticks, and then stabbed them down on the polluted ground.

The entire plaza burst into flames that rose high into the sky, causing Ominous Latin Chanting to start echoing throughout the city. Seconds later, Muraki and his cronies emerged unharmed, with their new member in tow. As their troops cheered throughout the streets, the first sounds of battle ensued.

It was going to be a hard struggle.

Aoshiro narrating agen! Anyway, we began figthing the Fangits and Black Lanterns and killing them. There was Black Lantern Scrappy, Black Lantern Joker, Black Lantern Folken and Black Lantern Astro Boy. They were all destoried.

Suddenly, Gauron (who was in his Mecha), Volxemort, Cornelio F**k, Dolres Rumbrige, Looten Plunder, Aizen, and Orochimaru came to confront us!

"WHERE'S MURAKI!?" I said angroly.

"He's in the City Hall right now, watching the battle. But don't worry, we've got a fitting opponent for you to face."

Suddenly, Dark Yagami burst out of the water! And he was a Black Lantern as well! As he had the Everything Note, he became a Shinigami the size of a Bus (but Nekron made it so that he didn't have his man thing twice teh size of a bus anymore as that was improctical).

"Wait a second!" I said. "You have 8, we have 7! That's just not dramatic."

"Like I car-" said Gauron but suddenly, Feanor teleported in!

"Let me repay my debt to you by taking down this rabble." He then took out two Eldar swords. Now our numbers were equal and dramatic!

I flew towards Dark Yagmi (I refuse to call him Da'urq which is what he calls himself when he has the Evrything not) and pointed my Zanpaktou at him. "AVADA KEDAVRA BANKAI!!!" I shouted. He was knocked back against the wall and into a house. I then began to follow up with an OC Erasing blast, but Dark punched me in the face with fists made of Mythril!

Indigo fought Aizen. She was wearing a Bikini with purple and black patterns and wielding three Zanpaktou soulforged from Red, Reeve, and Tifa's souls. She was copyng that Zoro guy from One Piece.

Aryll dueled with Cornelio F**k, who had a Garlic Steak which was the only thing that can defeat a Super Vampire like her when even Sunlight and Flames and ordinary Steaks can't.

Ebony fought Volxemort and was summoning Crookshanks at him but Volxemort made evasive maneuvers and shot Imperius with his wand. But Ebony broke the spell and pointed her new Black Elder Wand (made of Soulsteel) at Vloxemor shouting: "EXPELLIARMOUS!" The Bark Lord replied with "AVARA KEDAVRA!" There was a Beam Struggle liek from Dragonball Z.

Charlot fought Gauron with a Mecha made of Soulsteel, which had a Lambada Drive just like Gauron's but hers was powered by screaming souls and Gauron was jelous. "I'll F-ing kill u for that mech!" Gatron shooted anrily. "Just F-ing try it!" said Charlot.

Feanor fought Orochimaru with his swords. Orochimaru fought with snakes. A snake got into Feanor's armour but was electrocuted as the Elf installed anti-snake systems in it. Then Orochimaru made poison come out but Feanor just put on a special Eldar gas mask.

Samantha and Hei fought Dolres Rumbridge and Looten Plunder in tandem. Hei got beten easily due to Badass Decay so Samonther fought alone. Bridge and Looten had wands and guns and they shot at her. But Samonther just blocked it with her sword.

What will happen next?

Everything Note versus Trope Gun: The Match of the Century!

"U will pay 4 that!" I said angrily. I took out my Trope Gun and shot Worf Effect and Badass Decay ballets at him! But Dark was only half affected because the Trope Gun only has half effects on the Everthing Note and vice versa.

"AOSHIROT DIES IN PAINE!!!" Wrote Dark on the Everything note but it only half affected me becuase of my Trope Gun.

"Dam U!" I said and I rushed him with my Zandpakto! He blocked with his fests but I shot a bullet marked Absurdly Sharp Blade into my sword and cutt the Mythril. Dark grew them back through Willpower.

"Ur good @ dis!" said Dark. "But I am better dan U becuaz I'm Drak Yagmi!" Then he wrote on the Everthing Note: "I get a Bigger Swrod! And a sword made of Admanteum and Gold with pictures of Chocobo Chicks on them came out and appearated on Dork' s hand.

"DARK SCAR!" Dark shooted and a wave of N.ergy (geddit, energy?) came out just like Inuyasha's sword only Darker and Edgier. "AVADA KEDAVRA BANKAI!" I shoted back. There was a big explosion!

Aizen transformed into an Eldritch Abomination like in the latest arc (AN: I only read the Tv.tropes page and teh spoilerz!) and attacked Indigo! Indigo leaped up and somresaulted backward sexily to avoid it. Then she held up the Zanpakto made from Red's soul that she held on her right arm and said: "BANKAI!"

The Zanpaktou transformed into a crystal Death Star that was as powerful as a real one. It and Aizen shot beams at each other!

"BOOM!!!!!!!11111"

Once it was over, Aizen's arm and leg were blasted off! Teh Signgegami cursed. He transformed back into Normal Forme.

"SHIKAI!" He said to Indigolf in order to trap her in illusiones. But Indigo had spoilers and touched the Zanpaktou before the Shikai was fully released. Then Aizen transformed in2 an Abdomination again!

Aizen got out his sword and attacked Indigo, but she blocked the sword with her Bear hand just like Ichigo.

Now for Aryll and Enoby!

edited 27th Jan '11 12:39:39 AM by BadficFetish

Short Flashback

"Aoshiro, I'm preganant." Indigo said.

"RLY?" I said.

"Actually no I just had a clone of U and me (wid some DNA frum Samantha and Enoby) made in a tank."

"Dat's so kewl!" I said. "Now I can see him gro into an evil heir-wait a sec were Immortal so he'll be just a leiutenant."

"Not only that!" said Mayuri Kurostichi who was on our sid now, "Bot I can exprement on him tu mak him stronger"

"YAY!" we said.

Now back to teh battle!

Aryll the Vampire versus Minister of Mogic: Today Someone Dies!

Aryll summoned a Lion to eat up the Garlik Steak! Corneli countered with a Ligthening spell that shocked teh Lion and stunned it. Aryll then used Obteneration to control the shadows and take away teh Wizzard's wond and breake it. Then she laffed evilly.

"U haven't won yet!" said the Prep Ministr. He took out another wand and said: "Goffus Destructios Prepitus!" A bunch of preppi colors came out and blasted Aryll! Cornelio F*k laughed and said: "Nautghy Tentocleis!" A bunch of Tentacles grapped Aryll!

"It is U who haven't won!" said Aryull and Blood Blades made out of Blood came out of her and cut down the tentacles and the preppy colors. Cornelio rushed at her with the Garlic Stake but Aryll took out a broken piece of rock and blocked it. Then she attacked him and sucked out all his blood.

"U fukken prep!" Ebony said as she drove her spell towards Volxemort's wand. "U wiil dit toddy!"

"No! It is thou who wilt dye!" said Vodlemit and he pored more power in2 his spell. Then Snaketail entered!

"Ta Ebony, I will halp u if u sexwidmelater." He said. "Ok" said Enony lieingly. Then Snapetail got out his wand and his Expelliamorous mixed with Ebony's and drove back Voloxemort's spell! Ebony then shot Vodelmor and they yayed.

Then Ebony stabbed Snaketail using a stick with nails dropped by a Fangit because he was still a poser.

Next Up: Charlot versus Gauron, Feanor versus Orochimaru! All hail Gothmog, Lord of Balrogs!

edited 9th Feb '11 1:10:21 AM by BadficFetish

(OOC: Guess who's back! Back again! GS's back! Tell a friend! -Breakdancing here.- Sorry about the hiatus.

EDIT: And the minor screw-up.)

Very Agnry Fanfic Authoress Charlot versus Evul Bomby Poisony Rapey Man Gauron: Espolsions and Stuff!

Charlot charged mer mecha at screaming a war cry! His mecha could shot posion but her soulsteal mecha one was notg affect by posion! ! Then Gauron began 2 thow bombs at everything, and the Xhralott had dodge by jumping around, and she squash lots of trees abd the environmet is good so taht makes Gaurom evi !

But then Charlot was also evil ans not care.

Then she began to fire lots of missils and nocked him tords the center of the volcano thing (AN: i think its call a kramer). than she lowered her shelds

"Now is ur chance, kill me and then u will defeet me and win and then you will have victory over winning stuff1 "

Then Gauron sed "okay i will! i woll also taek ur mecha sense it is cooler then mind and i can never /b/ (AN: Lol geddit cuz im hardcore) as u charllot!"

Then he shot at her but thesoulsteel mecha Was Stronger thasn the rockes and billetrs he used and it rikoshayed and then hit him and then he knocked into the kramer1!

Charlot watched him fall And Then Laughed. "There is No Way he Could survive that!!1" Then she left.

Feanor and Orochimaru closed in and they were very fast because Feanor was an Elf (and elfs r just faster) while Orochimaru was a Ninja (and ninjs ar also faster!) They were so fast that the camera was slow-mo jest like The Matrix. Then he grabed a bow nad arows like Leoglas had only cooler but then he shot Orochimaru even more! Than suddenly he said "wait"

"I STILL HAVE MY SECRET WEAPON IT IS............FORSHADOWING FROM THE PREVIOUWSE CHSAPTER!!!111112211

He raised a fand to the sky and yell "   I SUMMON GOTHMOG, LORD OF THE BALROGS IN ATTAK MODE!!   "

THEN THE MARS TRUMBLED AND TORN APART AND SUDDENLY GOTHMOG!!!1 HOLAY SHIT!11111w11

THIS NEXT PART IS IN CALL CAPS DRAMATIC AFFECT|

THEN HE GOT OUT HIS FLAMING WIP AND THEN ORICHIMARU TURNED IT INTO A FUCKING FLAMING CHAINSAW THAT SHOT DARK ENERGY!!!

HE GEBAN TO BEAT THE LIVING SHIT OUT OF FEANOR AND FEANOR WAS SCREMIN G LIEK A PUSSY /B/ Cuz HE WAS GETTING PWNT BY A CHANESAW!!

Then Gothmog left and Oruchimaru put his sword at his throad.

"Any last words" he sad

-GASP- WHAT WILL HAPEN NEXT! LEV REVEW OR ILL JUMP OF MY SCHIIL BILDING! AND LASO CRASH IT S COMPUTERS /B/ CUZ I WENT TO /B/ AND AM NOW A 1337 H@X 0 R!!!!Lol

Next up: Samantha and Hei versus Dolores Bridge and Looten Plunder!

edited 13th Feb '11 9:25:30 AM by GameSpazzer

Samantha and Hei versus Dolores Bridge and Looten Plunder!

Hei got better thru Plot Hole and attacked Looten Plunder! Samntha and Unbrige began to exchange spells with one another and not in a friendly way either. Samantha summoned a pannda named Snoofles who attacked Umbide and chewed up her clipboard while Umbeidge took out a Blood Bamboo that was poison and fed it to the animal. Then they got out guns and began shooting each other in a Bad ass way like in Mission Imposivle.

Looten Plunder summoned Captain Pollution (normallly he needed the other Villains for this but Muraki invented a ring that allowed him to summon the Capitan by himself). He laughed. Hei got out his swords with wires on them and shot them at Captain Pollution. Then he began shocking him with electircity like he used to do with enemies before he gave the bag of Gold and Jewells to Samantha to becom her BF.

Then suddenly.....Looten Plunder got out a Power Nullifier and attacked Hei! Hei lost his electric personality (geddit?) and slumped onto the floor. But then he remembered he had swords and attaked Looten. But Looten got out a gun and killed Hei again. There was lots of blood which sprayed Looten and covered his eyes. But when he opened them agin, Hei had Back Stabbed him with a sword!

"The next Plot Hole opened up right behind you." Hei explained. I intentionally got myself killed so that I can emerge from it and accomplish my objective. Now, I'm going to-"

"Help me Hei!!!!!!!!111111111" Samantha screamed. Rumbridge and Captain Pollution were covering her with Sludge! "NOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!" said Hei and threw his swords with wirs at Umbridge and began electrocuting. But Bridge was too evil tu die that quickly and pointed her wand at Hei saying: "Arda Kedavra!" Hei died.

But the next Plot Hole opened above Captain Poltuon's head! Hei dropped down and thrust his words into his enemy's shoulders. More elecution later, Captain Polotion died and dissoleved into sludge. Samantha hugged Hei be4 taking off his cloves and sexing. Then they moved into a house that was still standing and had a clean bed. Ebony was also there and they had a threesome and had wine brought in by the troops. It was fun.

edited 13th Feb '11 10:33:41 AM by BadficFetish

n this chap stuf hapans!

Tey wer al havin a god teim with the thresom and teh wine but ten teh tropes (Hahaha getit?) that had broughted teh wine had become evil! Oh no why had you become evil" sayed samantha "because whee had ben brainwished! sayed teh tropes (hahaha getit yet?) nd then teh trops atacked samatha and enoby and hei! Oh no sayed enoby! and tehn dere wash tis awsome figt seene that ahm to lazy to writ but not bcuz i dont wan to or anyting lick that and at teh end Hei was knock outed! o no hei! sayed enoby. haha you are stupid sayed on of teh tropes!

Nest chap they beat teh trops but tey dont

(OOC: My god, that was weird.)

Tonga

Tonga.

The next chaptyre features a long line of sand on a road.

edited 14th Feb '11 2:53:23 PM by Snicklin

(OOC:You're doing it wrong...)

They beat the trops using a line of sand in the road but they dont

Nd ten they were in a road. stil fightn teh tropes. Oh look over tere theres a lin of sand in teh rod sayed hei (AUATORS NOSE: Yes Hei is not knocked outed i dont know ow) teh trops sayed "a lion of snd?" "yes a loin o sdn lok at ti!"

Nd ten teh tropes lokeded at teh lin fo sad nd tey were distarcatied log enough for enoboy and hei aand taht over dude to kil tehm using roks.

but tehn hey herad a vocie! "You beat up my tropeses and u wil pay!" and ten someone come out of teh grond. It wash.......

.......

......

........................

Dr robotnik!

Oh no wat is roboter doing here?!?!!!?!?!?!?!? they said with much confusion

Nest chapor dr robotes dose evil stuf!

edited 14th Feb '11 3:21:21 PM by megamagikarp

SIMON GARFUNKEL GETS POKE A MAN

ONE DAY SIMON GARFUNKEL SAY TO FRIND ASH KETCHUMP HAY ASH I WAN 2 B POKEYMAN TRAINER

AHS SAY SURE TAKE PICKLECHEW HER

SIMON GARFUNKLL AAY FANK YEW AND GO TRSIN HIHER NOW WITH FREND PFOTON J'ONN

SUDDENLY, BEES

PICKAPEPPER RUN FROM BEES BUT BEIS SAY WE NO LIKE THAT

MOVE FASTER POKEY SAY JOHN BUT PIPLCHU NO LISTEN AND GET EATED BY BEDS

OH NO SAY SIMON GARFUNEL

OH NO SAY JIN

OH NO SAY HASH

BEES SAT WE DUN LIKE PPLZ WHOO SAY OH NO SO WE EATING U2

BEES EAG SJMON GARFUNKEL JAWN ANS ASS

OH NO WE ARE ATTED THEY SAY

GHE ENF.

edited 14th Feb '11 3:39:02 PM by 0dd1

(OOC: And now for something completely different.)

Reviews for SIMON GARFUNKEL GETS POKE A MAN: 2

User: TammyxxDragonGurlxx55

ZOMG I LIVD UR SROTY IT WAS SO GOOD AND I WAN 2 C WAT HAPPENZ NEXT CHAPTUR I RELLY HOP U KEEP GOING AND DIS IS NOT TE ENF . IF MISTAY WILL MAEK OUT WITH SIMON GARFUKLE SO UPDAT PLZ!!11 ^^*

User: UltraMario3

Having Caps Lock on for the whole story makes you look unprofessional. Try using capitals to emphasize dramatic moments. Also, a spell-checker couldn't hurt.

Cheers,

UM3

Comments: — 1

User: Lizzie45

This story is kawaii and has pocketo monsturas, so fuk off because u don't apreciat the kawaiiness of desu japaneese peoporu (its japanees 4 people lol =^.^=)

(OOC: Different's over.)

This os Aoshiro and so ne way indigo and I wear just finishing up our victory banging when suddenly we herd a locomotion!1 we went outside and say wat the locomotion was and it was that the troops we're all dead and ebogy, Hei and Samanjha were standing pile of organs!

"What the fuck?! We ned those troopes and you killed them all what the fuxk is wrong with u!

then ebony turned and sed in a sexxah goffic voice "Its not our falut, they weir eval and brianwashed! "

Then the mad doctor yelled at us and sed "STOP IGNORING ME U FUCKWADS! I AM THE EVIL DOCYOR ROBOTNIK... OR IS IT EGGMAN.... WELL N E WAYS I AM THE EVIL DOCTOR ROBOGGOMAN AND I AM HERE ON MARS TO TAEK REVENG ON U.... or something BUT ANYWAI u shall not avail!"

Then he begabn 2 burn down Mars orfanages and kick mars puppis and take cady From mars Babbys. Then he insulted MCR, so u no he is EVIIIIIIL then he burninated the bodies of the old troopes and also some fangits who were watching

Then i got a genious Idea and then I Charged at Dr.Eggbonik and he said o no! And activated a mecha soot around him!

I jumped into action and told evry 1 2 get back bcuz this was MY fight! He bageen to shot lazers at me and i doged then in a manly way and it was so hawt that Indigo organzd right on the spot! Then I takled him and pulld hin out of the meca! He said"OMG AOSHIRO PLZ FDONT KILL ME AND I WILL GRANT UU A WISH!?."

So i sed "Make me a new troops out of robats and a robot army!

And then he did and i am also 2 lazy 2 typ tis part but their was an awesome roboggoman bilding things montage. Then we killd him after he was don like Bill Nye The Sciense Guy.

Feeling satisfyd that we now had a new sooperarmy and also destroyed another compeeter for taek over the multiverse, we had moar victory banging. I popped open a bottle of chardonay and we took a bath and sexd in it. And it WAS AWEOSMMMME!!!11a1

Also everyone alse had sexx 2, even the robobots

(OOC: Hi, MM. It's been a while.)

edited 14th Feb '11 8:06:02 PM by GameSpazzer

((OOC: More Non-Aoshiro parody badfic? You shoudn't have, Odd 1. Kudos, MM!))

Then suddenly, I woke up to a DARK FALCON PUNCH from Dark Yagami!

"Waht teh Heck?!" I said angroly. "I tought I defeted u then sexed with Indigo then Robotnik attaked and I bet him sexily and he made a new robot army for me?"

"DAT AWS AN ILLISON! AND U FELL 4 IT!!!!!111" Dark laughed glaotingly. "Bur Mega Magicarps entries wur not undone unlike lost time." He said. I looked down and I saw that the Troops did get Brainwashed and rebelled against Samantha, Hei, and Enoby before getting defted. But Robotnik wuz also killed be4 he could replace the Warriors lost.

"I have reserves!" I shoutd. "Colgar and freinds will bring more tropers (geddit?) in seconds!"

"Buy den it wilt be to layt," said Drak trendily. "U see, I also cut up ur boddy with my sword of Mithrl and put poison in the wounds. U didn't nottice becuz of d Illusion. Now, I WILL GIVE U TEH FINNAL BLOW!!!" Dork wrote on teh Everything Not: MAKE KEYBLADES APPEAR! Several keyblades appearated in a circle around me.

"Now they will pirce U like needles used in Acpupunkture and kill u" said Dark. He goated. All of teh Keyblades were Ultima and Ultima+ so I had no chance. Until I used my Marty Stu-only Mangekyo Sharingan on Dark!

"NOOOOOOOO!!!!!1111" said Darth as he was beset by Illusion of my own. Teh Keyblades dissappeared. But then suddenly, I felt something shatter!

Aoshiro's Mindscape

The crystals that had confined Arthur since that fateful battle with Aoshiro broke, as the activation of the Stu-Only Mangekyo Sharingan shook the Mindscape. The Fanfic Author moved swiftly, looking for the place where the Shinigami Stu stored his ideas for new illusions. When he found it, Arthur then fused himself with the nightmare most likely to be sent against Dark. Then he waited.

As Aoshiro unwittingly scuttled himself by upping the ante of Dark's Mind Rape, Arthur mentally prepared himself for the battle to come. Aoshiro may have be weakened, but he still had great resources. Also, Dark's spirit would have to be expelled from his body. Anything else would be too dangerous...

Feanor's last words were: "You shoudn't have desummoned Gothmog. He was my killer in Canon, you know." Then, lots of thin wires came out of his armour and entered Orochimaru's body, turning his innards in2 mush! Then Aryll came and healed him.

Suddenly, a bright light shone out from where Aoshiro was figthing!

"NOOOOOOOO!!!!111" said Aoshiro, who was unable to hold the power of Charlot's twin because Arthur was no longer in his mindscape. Authorial energy flowed from him in an upward column, disappearing into the sky. Arthur-or rather, Arthur in Dark's body-laughed. Then he wrote in the Everything note: "Restore my old appearance." Just as the last of Aoshiro's new powers faded, Arthur confronted the Shinigami Stu, Trope Gun aimed at his throat.

"Checkmate."

edited 15th Feb '11 10:21:46 AM by BadficFetish

(OOC: Vat a tweest! Now for a Day in the Limelight!)

Dis is Hei narreting and after screwing Samantha in a very romantic way I desidedx 2 taek a walk arund the feild of victroy. I waS walkingf arund in thbe rubble and then suddenly XANSHI! HOLAY SHIT (Agen) !1

I dodded 2 the side as he shott black lanter Energy At Me. Then I picked A Sword Out Off Sum1s Corpse and Used It As A Weapon!!1111111 it was a brodsword

I begans too counter attak by shooting beam's of energy at him from the brodsword. then suddenly ESPOLSIONSSSSS! They wer being shot ou of the Black Lantren ring at me! I need 2 dodge the espolsions! or else i will die i thought smartly.

Then us fout into a burt out bilding. We climbed and limbed the strais, shottinbg energy and Xanshi was cakle manially.! he corned me 2 the top of the bulding and then the noked me off the edge and i held on with one hand!1! And then he said hehehe u R DOOOOMED!?1 andalso he stood stllb long to i grabed his leg and pulled him off and he fall his death!!!!!!!!!!!!

BUT I WAS STILL ON EDGE OF BULDING! AND FINGERS SLIP!

THEN I FELL BUT................

I WAS CAUT BY SAMANTHA BCUZ SHE HAS WINGS!!!1111!1!1eleven

"I sensed u wear in truble and I new whear u were! True love is liek GPS!!! " she sed sexxily Then we burned Xanshis body and I took his Evil Ring and we went back to a place next to the hoiuse and we did it in a tree and it was romanic and not uncomftorble

AN: LEV REVEWS !

(OOC: I just love Hans Von Hozel too much…though I must admit, he really doesn't make everything all caps, does he?)

AIPOM'S APPLE, A Pokemon fanfic

On dsy Apalm was danube to stare becuse Ipoh acting uhp

Suddenly, Stev dubs !

Hello Stev say Aplum my upof is make a sad can fix please ?

Im sorry but I cnantt be make a fixing of ht sag Stev becse I make want of your mony hahaha

You big mean!!! Say apomm and make an eat of Stev and say tasty.

Then spolm's tale make a sad. Tail danube frim body an make a ear og apiom.

YHE ENX.

"Since when is this Checkmate?!" I said angrirly. "OC Erasing Pheonix!" A Giant Phenix made of OC Erasing Energi came out of my aura and attacked Arthur! Teh Badfic Author was blown back.

"That isn't going to be enough," Arthur said. "Even though I shaped Dark's body to look like my old one, it still has the endurance of a Black Hole Stu in addition to my normal looks."

"I was meaning to ask you about that," I said "Why did you choose a 14-year old version of Czeslaw Meyer for your appearance? I mean, I understand the asthethic appeal, but it's obvious that you could have done better."

"I...uh...I had a bad case of - completely non-sexual - Draco in Leather Pants during that time," Arthur said. "You see, I like kids - not that way! - and I originally got into the Baccano fandom because I heard that there was a young boy who was tortured continuously for 200 years. Later, I found out that it was considerably shorter than that, but it still meant that he was subjected to decades upon decades of Cold-Blooded Torture that would have killed him if not for his Immortality."

"You have strange tastes," I sneered.

"Perhaps I do, but that hardly matters now, does it?" He then raised up a sword of OC Erasing Energy and I knew this was the end. Then-

Muraki strolled into the plaza where we were figthing. He was surrounded by a barrier made out of Memes, so we weren't able to obliterate him instantly. But that wasn't the bad part. Bound behind him in chains was........Czeslaw Meyer!

"I should have predicted this," mourned Arthur. "If you did anything to him-"

"You would be tearing apart my Meme Barrier with Unstoppable Rage," Muraki finished. "Thankfully, I haven't done anything to the boy yet. You and I both know that even with berserk anger fueling your powers, It would take several hours before my shields are fully destroyed. Who knows what I could do to my captive by then?"

"It would be OOC for you to do it in public. But then again, Character Derailment is an integral part of this world. What are your terms?"

"Kill Aoshiro, like you were going to do before I came. Then, kill Indigo once she kills Aizen. If Gauron turns out to have survived falling in the crater, kill him too. He has outlived his usefulness."

"Done, master" Arthur said submissively.

But I had already escaped!

Indigo cut off one of Aizen's arms, then another. She got out the Zanpaktou made from Reeve's soul and said: "Bankai!" A Black Hole like Miroku's came out and sucked in Aizen's Legs! Then Indigo got out the Zanpakto mad from Tifa and got out another Bankai, making a Soulsteel Chocobo appear!

Indigo laughed as the Soulsteel Chocobo pecked out Anzen's eyes. She prepared to breath fire on the Shinigami but then suddenly, Gauron turned out to be alive after all, and shot Indigo on the back with his mecha!

"NOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!1111111" said Indigo as she slumped into the ground and bled. She managed to withstand the blast, but she had been surprised and so got wounded.

But then suddenly, Charlot and her Mecha were there!

"Give me an orgy when we finish, hot stuff," Charlot said as she fought Gaoron. Indigo lied to her and said: "Okay" even though she did not like pedos like Chariot.

edited 17th Feb '11 7:32:28 AM by BadficFetish

Most of my powers were already drained, so I was forced to keep to the shadows. Calgar had already arrived at the city with reinforcements, so I knew that I had temporary safety. I took refuge behind a Space Marine Dreadnought and began evilly meditating.

"Slender Man, Slender Man, Slender Man," I chonted and then suddenly, Slender Man was there! I pounced on him and ate him. Now I had Slenderman powers!

Arthur was following me with great speed and had reached the Space Marines. He combined a Worf Effect bullet with a BFS bullet to create a Worf Effect BFS that was able to Worf several Ultramarines at once. Then he wrote on the Everything Note: "All named Ultramarines characters will suffer Gene-Seed mutations." Calgar, Ventris, and the other named marines collapsed on the ground, slowly dying.

I attacked Arthur and used my Slender Man powers to come at him from the shadows, but he surrounded himself with a Meme Barrier of his own! It was less powerful than Muraki's but it was still too powerful for me to enter. Then, Arthur used flames from mamoru mustdie.com to attack me! Even Slenser Man powers weren't powerful enough to protect me and I almost fainted from the pain.

Then, I fired a Diabolus ex Machina Trope Bullet at Arthur! The Failfic Author fired a Deus ex Machina bullet in response. There was a huge explosion of energy as the bullets collided and I hoped that I would win. But I didn't. Arthur then used another Fanfic Author technique.

"Localized Apocalypse!" Arthur shouted, causing everything within ten meters of me to explode in fire just like Ragnarok. I surrounded myself with a Protego Bankai so I was safe. Then I replied with: Marty Stu only Izanagi! Suddenly, Rainbow-Colored wings appeared and covered me while I began changing. Arthur used a More Dakka Trope Bullet to try to stop me but he failed. I laughed.

Suddenly, I was a Stuish Rainbow Dragon that had a Tsurugi on one hand and a Katana on another. I also had seven wings that symbolized the Emotional Electromagnetic Spectrum and had Power Batteries for each of them. I still had my Trope Gun and Zanpaktou but now I could use my powers to hold them without using my hands.

"Now I have won!" I gloated.

"We'll see," said Arthur, who gripped his Trope Gun and Everything Note tightly.

Samantha and Hei finished sexing and put on their clothes. They went out into the city where reinforcements were still enetering despite Calgar bing incapacitated. They then went and began destroying the Pollution Factories which were now used by thr Fangits and Blak Lanterns as Forts. Suddenly, they were attacked by Lightining! The attackers were............. Black Lanterns Sakura Kinimoto and Li Syaoran!

edited 19th Feb '11 7:36:28 AM by BadficFetish

Inuyasha was upset because she was second-to-least intriguing thing in the world. She hung herself promptly afterword, but then the creators decided that they did not want that to be her fate. They resurrected her with little effort to give a reason to do so, much like what other anime plot lines end up doing.

Spongebob was taking a walk in Sandy's treedome, observing her new additions of colorful flowers and shrubbery, only available on land. One addition that he did not like was that the dome was spread far thinner than one would prefer, imagine butter melting over bread. As you may imagine, the ceiling was also concerning low.

"Hey, Sandy?" he asked.

"What gave you the idea to make your dome shorter?"

Sandy was busy organizing her organizing apparatus, only half-attentive toward Spongebob.

"Well," she said. "we won't want it bursting through the ceiling, would we now?"

Yeah. Half-attentive. Spongebob looked confused, as you may imagine.

"There's a ceiling above your treedome?" he asked.

Sandy pinched herself on a tool and turned around.

"I'm sorry. I'm busy. If you wouldn't mind-"

"Sandy, your treedome's getting flatter!" Spongebob exclaimed as he watched exactly what he describe happen.

"What?" Sandy looked up to find cracks forming in the treedome as it was being compressed by some sort of portly object.

"Spongebob! Look out!" Sandy raced to get her diver suit. She only had time to fit her helmet on before a metallic object burst through the treedome, crushing Spongebob under the weight of its... weight. Sandy screamed in horror and climbed out of the shattered glass, rushing to the scene. She looked everywhere for what might be left of him- until she finally found what she was looking for. He wasn't dead; he was actually very much alive.

Sandy cursed, apologized then helped a perfectly scratchless Spongebob out from underneath the metallic object. They examined the thing that crashed through the ceiling, but could see nothing beyond a spherical metal object.

Sandy and Spongebob discussed what this object might be, eventually coming to the conclusion that it had no reason to exist at all: it was the product of boredom.

edited 23rd Feb '11 10:23:59 AM by Snicklin

But then the object bastard bustred open! An inside was a......... bread!!!

"Im bread", said bread.

Then it pwned da univers.

"I'mma frum a galaxy far far away.", sed bread. "I used 2 be a king of mai own planet. But then... mah evul cousin BETRAYD me and kicked me out of my pallus!!!!!!!!!!", he sed.

"Will u 2 help me?" the bred said.

""Sure!" Sed sponbgeob and Sandy.

"OMFG Thanx lolz!!", sed bread. Then they had sex.

Dat's it bitches, review or ill cap ur mom haha....

UPDATE: WTF wat do u mean I wuz deraling charcturz???!! I wasn't!!!!!!111!!!1!!