Provide disproportionate retribution to the misdemeanor above

The exploded fragments of the moon are deorbited in such a way that they land directly on top of your skull. You die.

I bump a thread that’s gone a month and a day since the last post.

You get sentenced to life in prison and drop the soap.

I ship Getaway and Tailgate.

• GASP*

I get drunk.

The Freelance Shame Squad films your drunken antics and posts them to YouTube, your boss sees the video and fires you for unprofessional behavior even though you were off the clock at the time. Furthermore, The Freelance Shame Squad sabotages your job search by spying on you and sending the video to every single interviewer you make an appointment with.

I set up a Bucket Booby-Trap for my Sitcom Arch-Nemesis.

The bucket falls on his head, killing him, and you get tried and sentenced for involuntary manslaughter, and you go to prison, and end up dropping the soap.

I unironically enjoy Holy Terror.

You get lynched by Middle Easterns, and your head is used as the cover of their upcoming comic book.

I killed the Mysterious Girl from A Light In The Dark.

You never ever escape.

I fail to adequately give a hypothetical misdemeanor for the bemusement of readers to read on this forum, and thus contradict myself for surely this is a misdemeanor on my part.

The Paradox Police trap you on a spinny ride until you barf.

I saved a snowball in the freezer and threw it at someone in July.

An Ice Person freezes you solid, and Harmless Freezing is thoroughly averted.

I scowled during my commute.

Edited by C105 on Sep 18th 2018 at 8:28:01 PM

What you didn't know was that your emotions affected everyone in a five mile radius, and so, all the other commuter's spirits were damped even further and you're inadvertently responsible for some very intense flip-the-birdie challenges.

I crash a funeral reception to eat the food at the buffet table.

Edited by Aaymeirah on Sep 22nd 2018 at 11:47:48 AM

You are crammed into the coffin alongside its resident and Buried Alive.

I point and laugh at the above poster's fate.

You suffer the same fate.

I go into the express lane with 16 items instead of 15.

You are forced to pay for EVERYONE'S items in the entire store.

I deleted someone's favorite song off my computer to make space.

There is a virus that infects your hard drive and you haven't backed anything up. You lose everything! (Why was someone else's favorite song on your computer in the first place?)

I skip class.

You are forced to spend all summer in school.

I spend to much time on an mmo.

Your Cluster F-Bomb when losing against That One Boss draws a Bolt of Divine Retribution to smite you and your computer. You're hospitalized for a long, painful recovery, but your computer is toast.

I spray-paint obscenities on a kindergarten wall.

Helpful little ones already knew the words, and you, when some who saw you do it cheerfully start saying that some ahole f****d up the d-mn wall to their parents, everyone knows what you did and you're ostracized from polite society.

I climb trees in fancy clothes and tear a hole in the seat of my pants.

The clothing was infused with thermite for some reason and you burst into flames and die.

I complain about a show I don't like.

The creators of the show come by and each stab you in the stomach with a rusty butter knife.

I forgot to throw out the bad food from the fridge.

Your neighbors smell the rotten food and personally kill you by bashing your brains out slowly with wrenches and metal bats for ruining their day.

I knocked over a bowl of soup

Someone had switched it with a corrosive liquid. Your skin starts to melt away most painfully.

I steal an ashtray from Buckingham Palace.

The guards promptly beat you to a pulp.

I nominated Kitaeri as a tribute for Hunger Games Simulation.

TroperNo9001 herself crushes your head with a sledgehammer for it.

I drink milk straight from the carton

Edited by VengefulBale on Oct 28th 2018 at 10:14:57 AM

You are forced to drink milk until you die of over-hydration.

I illegally emulate Super Mario World.

You are put in stockades and forced to drink multiple gallons of milk until you suffer a Potty Failure.

You are sucked into the game and then de-rezzed at your first loss, TRON-style.

I perfected the art of launching pies into people's faces from an anonymous distance.

Edited by Miss_Desperado on Oct 29th 2018 at 10:25:32 AM