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Recap / Blackadder S 2 E 1 Bells

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Thank you, young crone. Here is a purse of moneys — which I'm not going to give you.

The first episode of Blackadder II. It introduced the new smart, cynical, Magnificent Bastard Blackadder, and Baldrick as the bumbling sidekick; so, pretty much, the Blackadder we know and love.

The episode opens with a young girl named Kate disguising herself as a boy named "Bob" to seek her fortune. She gets a job as Blackadder's servant, but naturally he falls in love with her. Not knowing her true nature, this causes him some upset. Hilarity Ensues (no, really) and when Edmund finds out she's a girl after all, they decide to marry, until the wedding is interrupted by no other than LORD FLASHHEART!


  • Absurdly Dedicated Worker: Parodied when Blackadder fires Baldrick in favor of Bob.
    Edmund: Well, Bob, welcome on board. Sorry Baldrick, any reason why you are still here?
    Baldrick: Err .. I've got nowhere to go, my lord.
    Edmund: O surely you will be allowed to starve to death in one of the Royal Parks.
    Baldrick: I've been in your service since I was two and a half, my lord.
    Edmund: Well, that must be why I'm so utterly sick of the sight of you.
    Baldrick: Couldn't I just stay here and do the same job but for no wages?
    Edmund: Well, you know where you'll have to live.
    Baldrick: In the gutter?
    Edmund: Yes. And you'll have to work a bit harder too.
    Baldrick: Of course, my lord.
    Edmund: All right. Go and get Bob's stuff in and chuck your filthy muck out into the street.
    Baldrick: God bless you, sweet master!
  • Ambiguous Situation: Did Percy deliberately fire the arrow into Baldrick's willy because he had just found out that Baldrick had enjoyed the sexual favours of Jane Harrington, or was it an accident?
  • Attractive Bent-Gender: Baldrick in his bridesmaid's dress. Despite the still-visible beard, both Percy and Flasheart are instantly attracted to him.
  • Bait-and-Switch: Edmund repeatedly implies that he'd love for Percy to be his best man only to supply another name at the last minute; Queenie isn't having any of that, with her screeching at Edmund until he actually puts the offer on the table for Percy.
  • "Begone" Bribe: Before the wedding, Edmund asks Kate's father how much he'd have to pay him to go away. She's appalled, but he happily say that £10 will do it.
  • Blasphemous Boast: Flasheart to Melchett: "Still worshipping God? Last thing I heard, He started worshipping me!"
  • Blatant Lies: Kate telling Blackadder that her name is actually short for Bob.
  • Bumbling Sidekick: The introduction of the Baldrick we know and love.
  • Captain Obvious: After several months of her father screaming, wailing and yelling "I want to die", Kate has come to the conclusion that he's not entirely happy.
    • The Young Crone who tells Blackadder about the Wise Woman, explains that Blackadder must understand two things about her. The first is that "she is... A WOMAN!" Blackadder pre-empts the second detail.
  • Catchphrase: Lord Flashheart — "WOOF!"
  • Characterisation Marches On: While the second series would cement Edmund's final characterisation, he still comes as a bit more of a more clueless nebbish here (particular in his being oblivious towards "Bob" and being completely outclassed by the rival of the story), playing him a bit closer to his first series counterpart.
  • Comically Missing the Point:
    • Nursie recounts Elizabeth's birth, with everyone being excited at the prospect of Henry VIII having a male heir without a winkle. It took Thomas More to point out that a boy without a winkle is in fact a girl.
    • Blackadder decides he doesn't want his father-in-law-to-be at his wedding and pays him a bribe to leave the venue. When his fiance Kate gets upset at this, he reassures her that he'll get Baldrick to beat him up after the wedding and they'll get the money back.
  • Cure Your Gays: Edmund tries this when he thinks he's attracted to Bob. Since this is the sixteenth century, his doctor suggests leeches.
  • Doctor Jerk: The man Edmund goes to see about his "manservant" problems. The emotional abuse is all part of the service, at no extra cost.
  • Double Standard Rape: Female on Male: The Wise Woman claims to drug and sleep with anyone she fancies.
  • Embarrassing First Name: Nursie's actual name is Bernard.
  • Everyone Calls Him "Barkeep": Nursie's name is revealed as Bernard, but after Queenie calls her that once, it's never mentioned again.
  • Gender-Blender Name: Nursie's real name is Bernard, while her sisters are Donald, Eric and Basil.
  • Groin Attack: Percy accidentally fires his arrow into Baldrick's penis.
  • Happiness in Slavery: Baldrick is delighted to live in the gutter and work harder if it means staying in Blackadder's employ with no pay.
  • I Call Him "Mister Happy": The doctor thinks this is the case when Blackadder comes to talk about his "manservant". Edmund, though, is talking about his actual manservant.
  • Idiot Ball: Blackadder cannot figure out that "Bob" is really a girl, even though she doesn't make any effort to disguise her face or voice — it is obvious to every viewer from the moment Kate appears dressed as a man. They have a rather sweet courtship anyway — which in itself is an Out-of-Character Moment for him.
  • Incoming Ham:
    [Horse neighs, trumpets, debris falls to the floor, Flashheart drops a rope and descends into the building]
    Flashheart: Yes, It's me!
    (small explosion)
    Flashheart: Flash by name, Flash by nature! HURRAH!!
  • Inherently Funny Words: "Bob", helped particularly by Rowan Atkinson's pronunciation. Also, "winkle".
  • Kick the Dog: Blackadder's treatment of Baldrick. The minute "Bob" comes along, he fires him, despite Baldrick having nowhere else to go. When Baldrick protests, Blackadder warmly tells him he'll probably be allowed to starve to death in a park somewhere. He does rehire him, but makes it clear that there will be no money. Baldrick still sees this as an upshot.
    • Played with, with Blackadder's treatment of the Wise Woman's receptionist.
      Blackadder: Thank you, young crone. [takes out purse] Here is a purse of moneys. [puts it away again] Which I'm not going to give to you. [leaves]
  • Large Ham:
    • The Young Crone outside the Wise Woman's hut.
    • The Wise Woman herself.
    • And Lord Flashheart. WOOF!
  • Love at First Sight: Blackadder and Bob are smitten with each other the instant she walks in the door.
  • Murder Is the Best Solution: The Wise Woman's three solutions to Blackadder's problem are 1) Kill Bob, 2) Kill yourself, or 3) KILL EVERYONE ELSE IN THE WHOLE WORLD!
  • Paper-Thin Disguise: Blackadder is unable to realize "Bob" is actually a woman until she bares her breasts at him.
  • Pimping the Offspring: At the start of the episode, Kate's father tries to convince her to become a prostitute because he thinks it's the best way to escape their crushing poverty. Kate refuses.
  • Punctuality Is for Peasants: Kate 's father turns up on time for the wedding, although he is bribed to go away. Lord Flashheart, meanwhile, is late for the wedding where he is Edmund's best man ... before arriving in spectacular fashion, and stealing Edmund's bride.
  • Really Gets Around: Flashheart, of course. Also the unseen Jane "Bury Me In A Y-shaped Coffin" Harrington, with whom Blackadder and Baldrick have both been intimate in the past. They both got over her, though.
  • Runaway Bride: In the end, Kate runs off with Flashheart.
  • Shaped Like Itself: When Blackadder asks the Young Crone how to find the Wise Woman:
    Young Crone: Two things, My Lord, must ye know about the Wise Woman! First, she is ... a woman! And second, she is...
    Blackadder: Wise?
    Young Crone: Oh. You do know her then?
  • Smoking Hot Sex: After "Bob" reveals her actual gender by flashing her boobs at Edmund, we jump ahead to two minutes later and they're sitting together smoking old-time churchwarden pipes.
  • Sweet on Polly Oliver: Blackadder is immediately attracted to "Bob", and — concerned that he may have homosexual tendencies — seeks medical treatment and the advice of the Wise Woman to get over it.
  • When All You Have Is a Hammer…: Or in the doctor's case, leeches.

Lord Flashheart, Lord Flashheart, I wish you were the star.
Lord Flashheart, Lord Flashheart, You're sexier by far.