Funny / W.I.T.C.H.

Cartoon

• In the 2-part pilot episode, we get this gem when the girls are first testing out their powers and discover that they can fly in their Guardian forms.
  Taranee: Aw, man... I hate heights! I get woozy in high-heel shoes!
  • Then Hay Lin winds up slamming face-first into the camera when testing out her flying.
  • Earlier in the episode, we get this gem of a line from Irma after Uriah gives Will a hard time
  Hay Lin: That's Uriah, ignore him.
  Irma: Yeah, evolution did. One day we expect him to slither back into the water.
• An early episode features Irma dropping a variety of sea creatures on her friends during practice. The assorted freak outs in that scene are funny enough but then this scene afterwords...
  Taranee: EE! There's something down my back.
  (Will checks.)
  Will: (sounding like Irma for some reason) Do you promise not to freak out if I tell you what it is?
  Taranee: Uh-uh.
  Will: (yanking away and tossing aside an eel which slithers down the nearby sewer) Then it was just a hair.
  (The girls go into The Silver Dragon and are greeted by a panicked Yan Lin)
  Yan Lin: Girls! I have terrible news!
  Hay Lin: That the eel down Taranee's back was poisonous?!
  Taranee: What eel?
  • The Other Darrin above is particularly amusing since there was no reason for it in-universe (Irma was surprisingly silent in the scene) or out (Kelly Stables plays her in every other scene), implying it was a production error that wasn't caught (or Kelly Stables missed/flubbed the line and Candi Milo redubbed it in ADR).
• In "Happy Birthday Will", Irma overhears Will's mother's super sappy pet name for her daughter and embarrasses her with it the first chance she gets. Later, at episode's end:
  Irma: Happy birthday, Pink Poopy Perky Pumpkin.
  Will: You know what would be a great present? For you to never call me that again.
  Irma: What's that, Poopy?
• The girls are deciding on whether to use the elevator to confront Cedric and Will shows the foresight that marks her as the Keeper of the Heart.
  Taranee: Why don't we just take the elevator?
  Will: You mean the elevator with the ding like a microwave telling him we're inside ready to eat?
  Taranee: Eh, you're right. Let's fly up.
• In "A Service to the Community", Irma and Taranee snag what they think will be an easy community service assignment of sealing envelopes that starts to go sour after they've licked enough envelopes to affect their speech. Taranee's comment that they don't need to buy lunch is funny enough but their shock at Mr. Collins telling them about the sponge tongues they were meant to use instead and their deadpan "Okay; we suck" reaction when Hay Lin says basically the same are comedy gold.
  • And then Cornelia gets hysterical sweet revenge on her little sister for pettily turning off Cornelia's alarm after the elder refused to play with her and landing her at Lilian's day care by solving Irma and Taranee's workload for them via having Lilian and her classmates seal the envelopes without sponge tongues.
• In the cartoon, whenever an Astral Drop is summoned. Hilarity Ensues.
  • The play in the show was done by the Astral Drops as opposed to the comic version and of course Hilarity Ensues. It starts with Astral!Taranee literally reading the script ("Taranee reads dramatically..."), the Dragon Dance, Astral!Will insulting Knickerbocker's clothes and the Drops and Blunk using a real water hose on the audience instead of the confetti one to Yan Lin's horror.
• "She's/He's NOT my girlfriend/boyfriend!"
• Any time animated series Caleb reacts to an Earth object/situation.
  Caleb: What's this?
  Taranee: Ice cream. You unwrap the paper and eat it.
  *Caleb exits and returns a few minutes later covered in melted ice cream*
  Caleb: This isn't half bad - but it made a real mess of my shoes.
  • Caleb and Blunk getting into Fish out of Water antics together, like hauling something up to the roof to drop it.
• In A Service To The Community the girls take a battered Mr. Collins that they beat up (long story) and try to think up a cover story to explain their teacher's Clothing Damage. Cornelia has a plan that involves Collins' lizard and its lunch.
  Will: OK, we lock the door, fly out the window, have his car towed and tomorrow, we'll put the papers in his desk. He'll think he dreamed it!
  Taranee: What about his clothes?
  Cornelia: Sprinkle him with crickets and release the lizard so he thinks Mr. Scales ripped them up?
  Will: That's crazy! Do it.
  • In the same episode, while the girls' theories become crazier and crazier, Caleb correctly guesses what each 'sign' means. When the girls realize this after he has already left, Irma only has one thing to say: "Anyone who tells Caleb he was right is out of the group!"
• The scene earlier in the 1st season episode "Stop the Presses", where Phobos goes into a maniacal Evil Laugh...while holding probably the two most girly objects ever shown in the series (Elyon's math test and hairbrush, both are very pink). It's like when a brother manages to get into his sister's diary (which, amusingly enough, Elyon's math test looks like).
  • Similarly, his Evil Laugh toward the end of "The Stone of Therebe" while holding a picture of Elyon, which sounds particularly goofy and hammy in this moment.
• In the early episode "Caleb's Challenge", the girls have been roped into making foods for the school bake sale. They get called away and leave Blunk in charge. Blunk decides their recipes are boring and makes his own. At the bake sale, the principal comes over to sample their wares and Taranee has to field describing Blunk's creations. She manages to hide the first few (calling sardine and chocolate pizza "chocolate pizza surprise" for example) but unintentionally calls the tuna cookies exactly that just as the principal bites into one of said cookies. The show closes on Blunk happily chattering about his recipes as the girls groan.
• Matt seems to be the go-to guy for girl problems, and hilarity always ensues.
  • Martin and Matt in Season 1 (The Stolen Heart). Martin wants advice on Irma, but Matt is too busy trying to figure Will out. And then:
    Matt: Wrong guy Martin, I'm still trying to figure Will out. Yesterday, she grabs me... and kisses me... and today she's like, "Get off my sidewalk".
    Martin: *chuckles* I know exactly what you mean. Er, except for that kissing part.
    Matt: I shouldn't have given up so easily. *gets up*
    Martin: *points finger to self with a smile* I find giving up is what women like best about me.
• In "Divide and Conquer", Caleb fails to understand girl logic.
  Caleb: So you don't like skiing.
  Taranee: Right.
  Caleb: And you don't like this girl.
  Cornelia: Right.
  Caleb: So you're going skiing with this girl?
  W.I.T.C.H.: Right!
• From "The Final Battle": Blunk. He can be a badass when he wants to be though. Like when he tried to take on Cedric.
  Blink: Blunk Warrior!
• In C Is For Changes Elyon isn't enjoying being queen.

  Elyon: I figured out the problem. Somewhere between East Nobear and West Nowhere it came to me. I missed the princess part of being queen! What happened to my masked ball? Where's my Prince Charming? I wanted a castle on a cloud and instead I got...
  Court official: The royal architect with his plans for sewage construction.

• All the antics caused by Mr. Huggles in D is for Dangerous, you wouldn't think one little dormouse could cause so much trouble.
• This exchange between Caleb and Cornelia in F is for Facade.
  Cornelia: What's Elyon's favorite non-fighting-evil activity?
  Caleb: Drawing, why?
  Cornelia: What's mine?
  Caleb: Erm... spelunking?
• From J Is For Jewel: Phobos and his minions were battling the Guardians, when a pissed Elyon showed up and told him she'd return him to his jail immediately. Phobos jumped on her shouting "You.Shall.Not!"... Cue Elyon slapping Phobos and his minions back to their cells while Phobos was shouting "Not!" ''without him realizing. Also, his reaction when he realized it had happened.
  • Irma gets some of the best lines in the series, such as this slice in J is for Jewel:
  Irma's Mum: Hey! How about a clam dig, all four of us; as a family?
  Irma: Yeah, I'm allergic to shellfish.
  Irma's Mum: Since when?
  *Irma's phone rings*
  Irma: Since, like, right now. *answers phone* Shellfish Allergy Anonymous, hello?
• Hay Lin hears the names of the Guardians of the previous generation, and, having Fun with Acronyms, uses their initials to name their group C.H.Y.K.N. Then she says it out loud, and has a statement to make:
  "Better witches than chickens."
• In K is for Knowledge:
  Will: [Taranee's] stuck.
  Matt: Uh, I could fill in.
  Will: No offence, but I'd rather not see you filling in her tights.
  Matt: So not what I meant.
• Thanks to Will's powers, the bewitched household items in season two are always pretty funny.
  • One moment from "H is for Hunted" stands out. After Will's Astral Drop (now a sentient clone) has helped herself to all the food in the Vandoms' fridge. The now "living" Refrigerator, who now sounds like a snooty butler is left disgusted at Clone!Will's food choices.
• Cornelia being surprisingly intelligent in L is for Loser on figuring out the Knights of Destruction draw their powers from the Guardians emotions:
  Will: Hey, since when are you "Miss Intuitive"?
  Cornelia: Perspective. I'm the only one not starring in a soap opera.
  Will and Hay Lin: This week.
• Any time after "O is for Obedience" were Caleb taunts Nerissa, his mother.
  • In D is for Dangerous, Caleb just digs his own grave when he tries to get advice from Matt about Cornelia. It could have been worded properly.
    Caleb: Okay, Mr. Show-Me-The-Ropes, why are Earth girls so... impossible?
    *Cornelia flips her hair, whacking Caleb at the back of his head*
    Matt: Dude, books have been written.
• T is for Trauma showed Will, Cornelia, Irma, and Taranee shooting unamused glares at a shape-shifted Nerissa who was currently charming all the boys sans Matt in the school. Then Cornelia accidentally gives herself a dose of Brain Bleach.
  Cornelia: (angrily) If Caleb ever looked at her like that-
  Will: EW! Hello!? Nerissa’s his mom!
  Cornelia: (shocked) Oh right! Gag!
• Cornelia and Lillian in U is for Undivided, making up "fairy tales" together.
  Cornelia: Oh, and dragons!
  Matt: No! Please, no dragons!
  Lillian: Yeah, dragons!
  • "Super Growth Powers!" Also counts as a Moment of Awesome.
    Cornelia: Fairytales don't have super growth power, this isn't a comic book.
    Matt: Excuse me, beanstalk?
  • Napoleon, the Hales' cat, turns out to be Lillian's familiar. He can talk too, which scares the crap out of Cornelia. Extra points for the Vocal Dissonance, because it's a small housecat... with the voice of Ed Asner.
• This little gem, proving that Phobos is a Deadpan Snarker in "V is for Victory".
  Raythor: *about the agreement Will just proposed to Phobos* It is beneath you!
  Phobos: Your concern is touching, Raythor, but this cell is also beneath me. And above me. And around me.
  • Phobos glamoring himself in Earth clothes. "Am I not down with my bad self?"
  • "Phobos too pretty to be destroyed!"
  • Also:
  "Phobos": Ra ra sis boom bah!
  • "V is for Victory" is comedy gold! Irma has her moments, but the real star is Phobos. Some highlights are him in science class giving Taranee a test tube of chemicals, she pours it into hers and there's an explosion! Later at lunch when Corneia gives him a bowl of pasta he throws it in her face! Later in the episode he gives Cornelia a piece of cake and touches her hand.She screams bloody murder and sends the cake flying which ends up on her shirt.
• In Y Is for Yield, two of the enslaved citizens of Meridian are terrified as a slab of stone is falling on them when Phobos saves them and says: "Don't say that I never did anything for you... NOW GET BACK TO WORK!"
  • Also, Elyon and Nerissa bickering inside the Seal of Nerissa, and Yan Lin and her Altermere trying to calm them and bring harmony... Only for Yan Lin to take exception at the Altermere stealing her lines.
  Yan Lin: "Stepping on my lines, kid."
  Altermere!Yan Lin: "Because we are in harmony."
  Yan Lin: "Zip it!"
  Some discussion, then Nerissa and Elyon start bickering again.
  Yan Lin: "That, princess-"
  Both Yan Lins in stereo: "-is not harmony."
  Yan Lin to the Altermere: "Quit it!"
• In Z Is for Zenith, Irma and Hay Lin’s reactions to Cedric betraying Phobos by suddenly swallowing him.
  Hay Lin: ... Did he just...
  Irma: Swallow Phobos whole? Oh yeah.

Comics

• The first summon of Will's Astral Drop in the comic book is what inspired the cartoon version: due to Will's feelings at the time the summoning went awry, and the drop (after accidentally ruining Will's written instructions) kissed Matt, then realized she was supposed to kiss Susan, asked her advice but didn't explain well the problem (so she ended up slapping Matt in public), and when Susan told her she had a date with professor Collins she replied "Have fun" (Susan's face was priceless). All of this was not on purpose.
  • In the same occasion Cornelia first summons her Astral Drop, and states her surprise at her being that identical... And the Astral Drop replies that they're not, since she doesn't have split hair. Cornelia almost throttles her then and there, and is only stopped when the problem with Will's Astral Drop is noticed.
• Hay Lin repeatedly spends time with her friends (for obvious reasons) but only shows up for meals, then quickly leaves. She's told to stop treating the house like it's a restaurant... Only for her father to say "But this is a restaurant!"
• In the second arc, Nerissa attempts to weaken the girls by giving them nightmares, then trying to kill them in their dreams. In one dream, Will and Cornelia end up inside Cornelia's dollhouse... And the doll's head turns around to reveal Nerissa's possessed the doll in the dream.
• Orube's introduction to life as a human on Earth does not go very smoothly, as she is unfamiliar with a lot of Earth concepts, such as money... and so, when she complains that she's hungry and Will gives her some money to buy food, she misunderstands and thinks the money is food.
  Orube: '*chomp chomp chomp* They don't taste very good. ...I think I'll eat the rest of it later on.
  • She once asked why two of the girls' teachers were beating up each other, and Irma joked they were just saluting each other. Two minutes later she first met Matt, and greeted him with a Megaton Punch. Will was not amused.
  Irma: If she gets us, we're doomed!
  Orube: You are doomed! I've just done what you told me to do!
  Irma: Stop believing me!
• Every time Orube appears with something edible, something bad happens.
  • First time, she set the kitchen on fire.
  • Second time, she burned something she was frying, a cake and the pasta. She was taking lessons from Irma because she knew how much she sucked at cooking and had guests, but still...
  • The third time, while she was trying to cook for those guests, she flooded the kitchen (thankfully Cornelia had learned about them and had a lot of French food shipped to her).
  • Finally, she offered a cappuccino to Cedric...and he finds it disgusting. That was actually part of a successful attempt at getting him in a good mood, but still makes the list.
• Comic book only: Orube lampshading their useless wings.
  Orube: How do we enter the fortress? Flying?
  Irma: Forget it! Only Hay Lin can fly!
  Orube: Then why do you have wings?
  Irma: Ah! Stupid question! It's so obvious! It's because... Because...
  Beat
  Orube: So you don't have an answer to everything, Irma!
  Will: We'll enter while invisible. We've already done it, and it works.
  Will: *whispering to Hay Lin* Anyway, remind me to ask the Oracle why we have wings.
• Matt's grandfather's reaction at finding out his grandson has been hit (either the slap from Will's Astral Drop or Orube punching him because Irma told her it was a form of salute on Earth) is to encourage the hitter: he doesn't know why, but whatever he did he needs to be punished for it.
• In the final issue of the comic the Guardians have successfully passed a series of tasks to get a new power-up (they have an increased sense each and can unite in a super-powerful being with all of their powers) and not being forced to quit. To celebrate, Yan Lin had an immense cake prepared for them (only Will could see where it ended thanks to her superpowered sight), but when the girls are about to jump on it...
  Yan Lin: "Wait. Did you wash your hands?"
  Will: "But... Oracle!"
  Yan Lin: "Oracle, and grandma too."
  • As they're eating, Will gives a look at what's happening to Matt, and sees him with a girl he recently met, with Hay Lin using her superpowered hearing to confirm she was flirting with him. Cue Will deciding to show off her Improbable Aiming Skills by throwing a piece of cake at her.
  The girl flirting with Matt: "When I'm with you I feel so much sweetne-"
  She's hit by the cake
  The flirting girl: "ARGH! Oh, really fun!"
  Matt (half-surprised and half-amused): " But... It wasn't me!"
  Will: "What is she saying now?"
  Hay Lin: "I'm too polite to repeat."
• Early in the comic, Andrew Hornby, the school's most popular, guy had disappeared, and the Guardians wondered if Cedric was involved... Until Irma revealed she knew what had happened to him: she had used her older and more attractive Guardian form to get him to notice her, but when he attempted some Auto Erotica she accidentally turned him in a toad.
  • At the end of the issue they track Hornby down and Will tells Irma to get him back to normal. Irma's reply? "I hope I don't have to kiss him".
  • Gets a Call-Back in the alternate future shown in issue 50: a grown-up Andrew Hornby was being an Obstructive Bureaucrat to the girls until Irma ordered him to get out of the way, and the girls are convinced he still remembers that time she turned him in a toad.
  • Another Call-Back is in the New Power saga: Irma had decided to tell her then current boyfriend about Kandrakar, but he didn't believe her and was Doing In the Wizard on her demonstrations, so she turned him in a toad.
• In the first issue, Martin had irritated Irma at the party, so she told him to disappear. Martin promptly became invisible.
  • Later in the party he bumps into Vathek.
  Vathek:: "By the Moons of Gaahn! An invisible creature!"
  Martin *as the spell wears off*: "I know I'm not exactly popular, but to rub it in isn't nice anyway."
  • The following issue, Irma has just told the other Guardians she had accidentally transformed Andrew Hornby in a toad, prompting them to laugh. This is what follows:
  Irma: "Why are you laughing? It's serious business! It's a tragedy! A catastrophe!'
  Martin: "What happened, dear?"
  Irma: "Martin, disap-"
  The other Guardians *while physically muzzling Irma*: "Irma, no, don't say it!
  Irma *after being unmuzzled*: "Could you please get out of my face, Mart!"
• A short story showed us that Irma never learned how to ride a bicycle, and every instance of her on one involved her creating invisible training wheels.
• During the publication of the New Power arc the short stories showed the girls getting roped by Taranee in joining the Jensen Dance Academy and helping with their musical. This series of short stories has various funny moments:
  • Will Got Volunteered by Irma with choosing a story and a plot, and given full creative liberty. What did she come up with? The Twelve Portals Arc.
    • Doubles as Brick Joke: a possible future had Will becoming a successful writer with a novel based on their fight against Phobos.
  • Irma Got Volunteered by Will for writing the script (mainly the lines of the characters), and she took inspiration from a video Taranee put together by filming people without them noticing... Including her brother making an overly sweet phone call to Cornelia. Cornelia was not amused. Everyone else was too busy laughing and saying no real people would be so cheesy to notice.
  • The casting. First candidate is an hyperpunk emoboy; the second is discarded as "too much cheerleader; one is an Hamlet, and another is Jack Sparrow in person; and one unseen is said to be too much "too much". The actresses are chosen when the Guardians stumble in people extremely similar to them, whose initials spell the word "Magic".
    • Will's part is the last to be given. The girls are at Tara's house discussing it while waiting for some pizzas... And the pizza girl, Meg, is a tomboy with her clothes decorated with frogs, an apprehensive and strict mother who's dating her math teacher, has just moved in town from another place, and is a competitive swimmer. How did Taranee introduce her to a spooked Will?
  "Will! It's her! Well... It's you!
  • The costume design. One of the team, which is lead by Hay Lin, suggests modernizing the ideas a bit, so they can get more creative than just white robes. Since the play is based on the girls' adventures, they have a fun time imagining the Oracle and his councilors dressed as Totally Radical.
• The story of how Irma's father Tom and step-mother Anna met (as discovered by Irma while reading old letters): He and a few police colleagues were called out to search a house for criminal activity but accidentally got the wrong house number. She was in the kitchen baking a cake and failed to hear the knock on the door because her housemates were, respecively, singing in the shower and vacuuming the living room. He broke down the door to storm the house and catch the criminals. Her reaction to seeing a cop storming her kitchen was a bemused "If you wanted cake, all you had to do was ask."
• The reaction to Hay Lin making a Title Drop by writing down on her hand the initials of herself and the girls and getting "W.I.T.C.H.": Taranee told her to stop writing on her arms and hands before she poisons herself with all the ink, while Irma started ranting on Hay Lin being already poisoned to the point it got to her head and made her come up with that acronym.
  • Later Hay Lin doing this fails since no one can read her writing, prompting her to speak aloud what she intended to keep discrete with the most deadpan annoyed look on her face.
• Miss Rudolph, who previously took Hay Lin and Irma hostage (for much more innocent reasons than that makes it sound), ends up having the girls, minus Will and Cornelia for plot reasons, over for tea. It goes extremely awkward and culminates in Miss Rudolph catching them in their "secret" mind speak. Bonus points for this part.
  Miss Rudolph: (after the girls assure her they're not suspicious) Then why haven't you taken any of my cookies? Afraid they've been poisoned?
  Irma (with what looks like dozens of cookies on her lap, crumbs all over her face and a mouthful of cookie) Uh, they're not, are they?
• In one issue of the Ragorlang Arc, while trying to reach her grandmother through their new mirror in the bookshop, Hay Lin (and Taranee) of all things manage to see the Oracle taking a bath, whistling before realizing he was being watched and closing the 'transmission'.
• In one chapter, while WITCH (minus Hay Lin) were practicing their powers in the middle of the marketplace (invisible, of course), while Irma, Cornelia, and Taranee converse with one another concerning their enemy, Will thwarts and ousts a pickpocket.
  • When Ludmoore uses his Eye to make a fire when they're still there and all the people start running away in a panic, an irritated Irma wonders why everyone bumps into them and then remembers they're invisible.
• In issue 69, Will blackmails a vending coffee machine.
• When the girls were first experimenting with her powers, Hay Lin wondered out loud what would happen if you combined the Power of Earth with the Power of Water:

  Irma: "The Power of Mud!"

  *Beat. Irma and Cornelia exchange Death Glares. Hilarity Ensues*

• How a fight between Cornelia and her mother ended:
  Elizabeth: "And what do you want next, a banking account?!"
  Harold Hale: "That I could do myself, I'm a banking director."
  *Beat. The fight ends because mother and daughter cannot stay serious after that. Harold acts like nothing has just happened.*
• In one occasion, Will, Irma, Taranee, and Cornelia recalling in horror a recurring event: Hay Lin always buying herself whatever they had been planning to give her for birthday. It went to the point they found an unbelievable alien-themed pajama, bought it, and when they went at her home Hay Lin greeted them in the very same garment...
  • That year they ultimately found a gift they knew she didn't have, namely the tickets for a concert the day of her birthday, and called the ticket office to buy the last five only for someone to buy them in person. So they resort to other gifts, wondering how many gaffes they will have that year... And discover that for once Hay Lin didn't already have their gifts, but was instead the one who bought the tickets.
• Issue 123 is one Bizarro Episode and it is just plain funny:
  • This dark lady takes the form of, of all things, an automobile.
  • Her antagonist abilities? Control every car on Heatherfield. Meaning she can cause all sorts of auto-accidents
  • Lady Crash smacks Cornelia with the head-rest.
  • She captures the girls… except Irma’s clothes get caught in the car door.
  • Crash takes the girls in the middle of the night, which means they’re in their pyjamas.
  • She even traps them with seatbelts. Justified to keep their hands tied, but it’s still funny.
  • Right as the lady is about to take Cornelia’s powers, she just dashes out of the car because Irma’s little Wardrobe Malfunction kept the doors from locking fully.
  • After this, the girls have to literally outrun a car to make it run out of fuel.
  • Cornelia’s boyfriend’s car, Bugg, even arrives and fights Lady Crash.
  • And finally, Lady Crash runs out of gas and tries to get more fuel… except the pump doesn’t work because she has no way to pay.
  • And what's more, because this happened at night, the girls end up having to go home and they have school the next day. Irma is absolutely not looking forward to gym class first period.
• In an early issue, Cedric and Elyon had trapped the Guardians in the same painting he had trapped Elias Van Dahl into centuries earlier. He then takes a last look to enjoy their suffering... And upon seeing they have figured out how to escape and are trying to procure what they need, he gets in a rant about how younger generations have no respect, because in his day when one was sealed in a painting they made peace with their fate and stayed there. Then Vathek agrees with him that younger generations have no respect for tradition.
  • In the same issue, Uriah and his gang had snuck in the museum at night after rumors of a lizard man being spotted there. The lizard man was a Galhot, but he wasn't there anymore - they instead meet Cedric in snake form and Vathek, who were looking around after sealing the Guardians in the painting. They only survive the encounter because the two villains are stunned long enough for the gang to throw a skull at them and trigger the alarm, making them flee in the nearby Portal. Uriah and his gang end up arrested, blamed for the lizard man rumor, and have to clean up the museum for a month in exchange for their charges being dropped.
    • And then it's later revealed that Uriah, Kurt and Clubber had to stay two months: Kurt and Clubber were caught using hominid skeleton props to play baseball while Uriah pretended not to see, while Nigel wasn't with the others and was let go as expected.

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