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Funny / Harry Potter and the Cetra Heritage

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Harry Potter and the Cetra Heritage



Harry Gainsborough and the Philosopher's Stone


  • Jenova tries to convince Snape that they should teach a Hogwarts class on how to be a Deadpan Snarker.
  • Snape makes a snarky reference to The Rolling Stones.
    Snape: "I see a red door, and I want it painted black."
    Sirius: "I can't believe it. Did you just make a Rolling Stones reference? Come on, make another one!
    Sirius and Remus burst out laughing after a brief Stunned Silence.
  • Harry's reaction to Gilgamesh challenging him to a duel: "What fresh hell is this?"
  • Jenova attempting to play Match Maker for Sirius.
  • Sirus and Jenova are out sunbathing on the beaches of Costa del Sol. Then Fred and George show up.
    Fred: "Forge, I think we've died and gone to heaven."
    George: "Indeed, Gred. For this can only be a goddess. We are not worthy to be in her presence."
    Jenova: "What's the matter boys? Haven't you ever seen one of your teachers in a bikini before?"
    Fred: "Well, no offense to your career, Jenova..."
    George: "...But how many of our teachers would look good in a bikini?"
    Sirius starts laughing.
    Jenova: (Sits up in a deliberately provocative pose) "You boys are rather too young... but I wouldn't mind you looking. Just keep up the genuflecting.
    Jenova: "Hear that, Sirius? They think you're divine."
    Sirius: "That's rather the opposite of what Minerva thought."
    Jenova laughs maniacally at the thought of using the Weasley twins as minions in her plans to expose Gilderoy Lockheart.
  • Snape gives an impromptu DADA lesson at the villa in Costa Del Sol. He demonstrates the Patronus charm and sees Luna attempting to replicate it.
    Snape: Miss Lovegood, it is unlikely that..."
    Luna manages to cast a corporeal Patronus charm on the first try.
    Harry: "Is that a platypus?"
  • Luna channels the Orks from Warhammer 40,000 when the group visits the Golden Saucer.
  • Snape manages to unwind on his vacation to the Planet. Hogwarts rumor dictates that a puppy somehow dies somewhere in the universe every time he smiles for any reason. Fred and George take his satisfaction at winning a bet at the Chocobo races as a sign of the "puppyocalypse." They immediately ask Jenova to take a picture so they can win a bet with Lee Jordan.
  • After Vincent and Lucrecia are reunited in the previous fic, they spend the trip to the Golden Saucer having Glad-to-Be-Alive Sex in the hotel room.
    Receptionist: "Did you have a good time last night?"
    Vincent and Lucrecia blush slightly.
    Vincent: "Indeed. We hadn't seen each other for years."
    Receptionist: "Well, I think we'll have to install some additional sound-proofing in the room. I didn't think anyone who could be quite so loud."
  • Nero and Weiss breaking out the popcorn for the tournament being held at Battle Square.
    Nero: "The Restrictors had a secret supply. Naturally, I raided it. We just don't get enough opportunities to have some.

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