Film / Jodhaa Akbar

A 2008 Bollywood period movie that rivals Titanic in extravagance. The movie was made with the equivalent of a six million dollar budget to support elaborate sets, period costumes and jewelry, battle scenes, A-list actors, and A. R. Rahman. The story centers around sixteenth century Mughal emperor Akbar (played by dreamy, green-eyed Hritik Roshan) and his Rajput wife, Jodhaa (played by Aishwarya Rai's jewelry). The two are forced into a politically-motivated interfaith marriage, but despite their differences, they slowly (and predictably charmingly) fall in love. As the romance progresses and Jodhaa becomes more influential, vague political tension builds in Akbar's court.

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This film provides examples of:

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• Action Girl: Jodhaa. Not considered historically accurate, but who cares?

• Bling of War: Akbar in armor.
• Can't Have Sex, Ever: For about 75% of the movie.
• Character Title: More specifically, Name and Name.
• Dawson Casting: Jodhaa and Akbar were both around twenty when married. They are played by actors in their thirties here.

• Estranged Soap Family: Akbar's mother, who claims to have been away for fifteen years when her son was growing up.
• Exiled to the Couch: Jodhaa does this with style.
• Falling-in-Love Montage: "Jashn-E-Bahaara". This is interrupted by...
• Female Gaze: As Jodhaa ogles her shirtless husband.

• Gorgeous Period Dress: Jodhaa sleeps with her jewelry still on and carefully arranged. Naturally, she never wakes up with weird imprints in the shape of her jewelry all over her face and arms.
• Guess Who I'm Marrying?: Akbar to his counselors. Reactions are mixed.

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• Hollywood History: The opening says in so many words that this is a poorly-documented period of history, and that this film was going to try and capture the essence of the story, even if not every detail was factual.
• Historical Beauty Update: Likely for Jodhaa and certainly for Akbar. Little is known about the real Mariam-uz-Zamani (the name used for Jodhaa in contemporary accounts of Akbar's reign), and the descriptions we have Akbar present him as more formidable than attractive. The side characters probably got hit with a pretty big dose of this too.
• Large Ham: Many. The worst offender is probably Sharifuddin.

• Mr. Fanservice: Hrithik Roshan, pretty much the only man in Bollywood handsome enough to stand next to Aishwarya Rai without invoking Ugly Guy, Hot Wife.

• No Hugging, No Kissing: So much so that that Jodhaa keeps a curtain between them at one point to avoid it.

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• Opening Monologue: With special appearance by Amitabh Bachchan
• Opposites Attract
• Perfectly Arranged Marriage

• Rebellious Princess: Slightly subverted with Jodhaa. She does what she's told, but negotiates to get what she wants from Akbar.
• Rule of Drama: Jodhaa and Akbar are increasingly happy with one another and then Akbar is led to believe she was cheating on him. Cue dramatic prairie dog music.
• Second-Act Breakup: Quite literally, as it happens right before Intermission. Thankfully it's resolved relatively quickly.
• Stranger in a Familiar Land: Jodhaa in the beginning of the second half.
• There Is Only One Bed: But Jodhaa quickly finds a solution for that...
• This Is My Side: ... And it's this!

• Through His Stomach: And the scene in question, which lingers lovingly over plates and plates of Rajasthani food, will make you want to die if you hadn't eaten a lot beforehand.
• What Is This Thing You Call "Love"?: Almost word from word from Jodhaa and Akbar at different points.
• Wicked Stepmother: Akbar's wet nurse/surrogate mother hates Jodhaa. She's also an Evil Chancellor. His biological mother actually likes Jodhaa, but seems to have political responsibilities which keep her away from her son and daughter-in-law a lot.

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