Fanfic / Professionals

"It’s the dawn of Era 3 and Little Homeworld has recently finished construction. Peridot theoretically has everything she’s ever wanted: an awesome home, close friends, and an important job as Chief Technician.

She’s having increasingly complicated feelings about Lapis and her personal projects have taken a turn towards the dangerous, but that’s fine — she can handle it. Also, Zircon is absolutely convinced a Homeworld Gem has it out for Peridot, but she’s probably just being nervous as usual. That’s nothing a marathon of trashy TV can’t fix.

Meanwhile, Lapis is dealing with complicated feelings of her own, and Bismuth just wants her friends to calm down and talk to each other.

They’re all responsible, professional Gems, and everything is completely under control and not on fire."

— Fanfic Summary

Professionals is a Steven Universe fanfic written by Demyx, set during Future and focusing on the Little Homeworld Team of Peridot, Lapis, Bismuth and the new addition of Blue Zircon, focusing on their relationships with each other as they try to adjust to Era 3.

---

Tropes for Professionals include:

• Amnesia Missed a Spot: Memory-wiped Gems experience "static" whenever they're subconsciously reminded of something important from their past. For Peridot, this is helpful in reversing the effects of the Rejuvenator.
  • The integrated gem tech used for notetaking is unaffected by a Rejuvenator and must be wiped manually.
• Anger Born of Worry: Lapis is furious when she finds out that Peridot has been tinkering with the Rejuvenator Spinel used, terrified that Peridot will get her memories erased. Sure enough...
• Ascended Extra: In canon, Blue Zircon was a one off character featuring in the Trial who got poofed after accusing one of the Diamonds of being complicit in Pink Diamond's murder. In Professionals, Steven hired her to serve as Little Homeworld's lawyer, in charge of sorting out the new rules, since she's the only lawyer he knows.
• Beware the Silly Ones: Dottie the Little Homeworld Peridot is, well, a bit cuckoo. She looks incompetent until she kidnaps Zircon and Lapis.
• Black Comedy: Peridot having her mind wiped and her friends being forced to make modifications to her template to start to get her back? Tragic. The fact the menu is done in the form of a Character Creation Page straight out of a video game? Hilarious.
• Brainwashed and Crazy:
  • Dottie, who is a brutal enforcer for her Agate despite (or because of) a lifetime of abuse.
  • Basically what the Agate's memory-suppression scheme aims to do to Lapis, with help from Being Tortured Makes You Evil.
• Captured on Purpose: Peridot’s plan to rescue Lapis and Zircs from the Agate. She and Zircs end up Exploring the Evil Lair from inside while the rest of the Crystal Gems storm the base.
• Clingy Jealous Girl: Lapis starts feeling like this when Bismuth jokes about setting Peridot up with Biggs. It's what causes her to realize that she's in love with Peridot.
  • An even better example is when Lapis finds out that Steven and Peridot fused, even mulling over dropping Blue Zircon into the ocean if she doesn't spill what she knows, though she quickly tones it down.
• Chekhov's Gun: Peridot working on Spinel's Rejuvenator is mentioned a few times early on, with Lapis freaking out about the risk to Peridot, only for it to blow up later on, with the implication of sabotage, resetting Peridot.
• Everyone Can See It: Peridot and Lapis are the only ones who don't know about their mutual attraction to each other, with Bismuth, Blue Zircon, and Steven all having realized it ages ago.
  Steven: Sorry, Peri, you’re maybe a little obvious.
  • To a lesser extent, both Lapis and Peridot know about Bismuth's attraction to Pearl.
• Fantastic Racism: Still shows up, with several Gems of Homeworld showing it towards former low caste Gems like Peridot and even relatively middle class Gems like Blue Zircon.
  • In a flashback, one of Blue Zircon's colleagues shows contempt towards Steven's Half-Human Hybrid status, refusing to see him as a Diamond as a result.
• For the Evulz: The Big Bad tells Peridot she knew she wouldn't be able to topple Era 3. She just wanted to make the Little Homeworld gang suffer for their role in building it.
• Get It Over With: 2PK, after she's exposed herself as one of the saboteurs. Peridot needs her help to find Lapis and Zircon, though.
  • After her part assisting the rescue mission is done, she threatens Pearl and Bismuth to force them to poof her.
• Genre Savvy: Peridot stalls for time by prompting the Big Bad's big villain monologue.
• Going Native: Despite every effort to resist this happening to her, Blue Zircon ends up catching what Peridot calls Earth Madness. Zircon naturally freaks out (briefly) as a result.
• Hero with Bad Publicity: Technically correct or not, accusing the Diamonds of the murder of one of their own has made Blue Zircon a washed up has-been at best in the eyes of her fellow Zircons, and a laughingstock at worst.
• It's All My Fault: Peridot has this reaction when Blue Zircon is almost shattered by a Robonoid she was holding exploding in her hands. She even decides to quit as Little Homeworld's Chief Technician, before Lapis talks her out of it.
  • Comes up again later after Lapis and Zircon are kidnapped.
• The Klutz: Peridot like in canon is incredibly accident prone, with a brief anecdote about her crashing face first into a tower while wearing a jetpack being mentioned. This carries over to Tilly, her Fusion with Steven, causing Bismuth to recognize her as one of the Fusion's components.
  • One of the new Peridots of Little Homeworld, Dottie, is somehow even worse, with Peridot suspecting she'd have been shattered had Homeworld not been strapped for resources. It's later confirmed she was spared specifically to make her a loyal pawn of her Agate supervisor.
• Laser-Guided Amnesia: The effect of a Rejuvenator (which erases all of a gem’s personal memories but not their skills, subconscious, in-gem storage, etc.). In an even more laser-guided form, it’s how the Agate is trying to brainwash gems.
• Mirror Character: Both Peridot and Blue Zircon are Era 2 Gems who feel inadequate compared to everyone else, have severe anxiety issues, and feel like they only got their positions because of their relationships to Steven instead of their own merits.
• Motor Mouth: Tilly, the fusion of Steven and Peridot, is implied to talk like this as a result of their Super-Speed.
• Note to Self:
  • Zircs leaves herself one telling her to trust Peridot in case of a memory wipe.
  • The Selenite in the lab suffers from memory issues and relies on detailed note-keeping to be able to do her job.
• Odd Friendship: Blue Zircon the walking stress ball and the hyperactive Peridot, who ended up like this after Peridot forced Blue Zircon into watching weird vampire lawyer shows with her, though it's implied it's really because both suffer from severe anxiety issues.
• Only Sane Man: Lapis, Blue Zircon and Bismuth all take turns trying to be this to Peridot's zaniness, though really only Bismuth actually qualifies due to Lapis' overprotectiveness when it comes to Peridot and Blue Zircon being a big ball of anxiety.
• The Power of Love: Lapis confessing her feelings for Peridot ends up being the final trigger that brings Peridot's memories back.
• Remember That You Trust Me: Just before Peridot leaves on a dangerous rescue mission, Garnet tells her it's crucial to "trust your friends" if she wants to make it back safely and save Lapis in time.
• Running Gag: Peridot's idea for using the Rejuvenator for allowing Era 2 Gems to change their appearance is repeatedly compared to a suicide booth.
  Zircon: A booth that lets you change your appearance by, what? Poofing and regenerating?
  Peridot: If you call it a suicide booth, I’m kicking you out.
  Zircon: I’ll just think it and not say it, then.
• Saved by Canon: There are already multiple spinoff one-shots which feature the main characters living mostly-happily-ever-after in Little Homeworld, despite being gem-deep in trouble in the main (chronologically earlier) fic.
• Secret-Keeper: Blue Zircon is apparently considered an excellent one by Bismuth and Peridot, given she's the one they trust with several highly personal secrets. This is deconstructed when Peridot is Rejuvenated as Zircon had been informed that her real intentions meant she'd be tempted to use it on herself and Lapis really lets Zircon have it for not telling anyone.
• Sour Outside, Sad Inside: 2PK, one of the new Peridots of Little Homeworld, is cranky, cynical, and just wants to be left alone. She's spent her life working for a cruel and petty Agate with no real choice in the matter until Peridot offers her a second chance.
• Sour Supporter: 2PK might be standoffish and rude, always being willing to point out the flaws in Peridot's ideas, but she does express genuine concern when Peridot is almost caught in a meltdown of one of the Solar Cells.
• Throw the Book at Them: After reuniting with Zircon in the Evil Lab’s bubble room, Peridot asks if Zircs has anything she can use as a weapon. Zircs has… a book.
  Peridot: ...a book.
  Zircon: It’s a very large book.
  • While she doesn’t use it as a weapon per se, she does block a destabilizer with it later in the chapter.
• Throw the Dog a Bone: Steven, who has been feeling like all of his friends are drifting away since Future started, gets comforted by the B-Team, who feel like they have no idea what they are doing with their lives, and make no move to dismiss his emotions or tell him he isn't needed/wanted. Bismuth flat out sympathizes with him not knowing what to do now that the war is over officially, admitting she has a similar issue.
• Twice Shy: Peridot knows she loves Lapis. Lapis knows she loves Peridot. Thanks to baggage and mutual stubbornness, it takes multiple serious crises to get them to talk to each other about it.
• Violently Protective Girlfriend: Lapis admits she's tempted to be this for Peridot, especially when it comes to Homeworld Gems who continue to show Fantastic Racism to her.
• Wham Line: One is delivered at the end of Chapter 8.
  Peridot's Gem: Peridot Facet-2F5L Cut-5XG is now in calibration mode. Please press one for Gemglyph and two for simplified pictographs.
  • Another at the end of chapter 12, immediately following the brainwashing scheme reveal:
  "Good thing we don’t know any ridiculously powerful and dangerous Gems with tragic pasts and anger issues, right?"
• What the Hell, Hero?: Lapis is furious at Blue Zircon for keeping Peridot's plans to modify herself a secret because of a promise, especially since Peridot got Rejuvenated.