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Fanfic / Happy Endings (Harry Potter)

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The Second Wizard War has passed, and a newly resurrected Severus Snape has discovered that everything has gone astonishingly well, all things considered. A lot of people didn't die, Voldemort was redeemed with The Power of Love, and Lily Potter has been brought back to life, all thanks to a beautiful, talented Ravenclaw student from America named Andromeda Merlina Francesca Tiffany Morningstar Brighteyes. All in all, this looks like the happy ending that Snape has so desperately wanted, but everything feels horribly wrong...

Happy Endings is a Harry Potter fanfiction that pits Severus Snape against a Parody Sue who just wants everyone to be happy... no matter the cost.

Happy Endings provides examples of:

  • Actor Allusion:invoked Snape sees a Twilight poster, but misidentifies the shirtless teenager it depicts as Cedric Diggory. Robert Pattinson played both Diggory (in Goblet of Fire) and Edward Cullen (In Twilight)
  • All Animals Are Dogs: Remus Lupin, a werewolf, exhibits a lot of doglike behaviors.
  • And I Must Scream: What apparently happens to those under Andromeda's influence.
  • Author Appeal: In-universe, it appears that Andromeda is a huge Snape fangirl.
  • Back from the Dead: Several characters, including Snape himself (though Andromeda claims he was only mostly dead) and Lily Potter.
  • Celebrity Paradox: Snape compares his made-over self to a young Alan Rickman.
  • Cool and Unusual Punishment: When the story opens, the portrait of Salazar Slytherin has endured ten solid days of Nyan Cat.
  • Crack Pairing:invoked Discussed Trope. Several of these are named. Snape claims that Rita Skeeter wrote articles on all of them.
  • Deconstruction Fic: The story examines the implications of different Mary Sue types through the eyes of the Canon characters.
  • Draco in Leather Pants: Invoked literally.
  • Facepalm: Snape does this a lot.
  • Faux Horrific: Snape and Salazar Slytherin both consider the above Cool and Unusual Punishment to be analogous to Cold-Blooded Torture.
  • Flat "What": This is roughly Snape's reaction to Andromeda's offhand mention that she brought him back to life after finding him in the Astronomy Tower.
  • Fourth-Wall Observer: Luna Lovegood, whose Spectrespecs allow her to see "the words", as well as the people on the other side of them (readers).
  • Half-Human Hybrid: Andromeda is half veela.
  • Happiness Is Mandatory: Andromeda's influence forces everyone to be grinning idiots who worship her. Woe betide you if you are not smiling.
  • Insane Troll Logic: Andromeda seems to believe that one can magically compel someone to fall into "true love" with them. At least she can.
  • New Transfer Student: Andromeda, of course.
  • Oh, Crap, There Are Fanfics of Us!: Dumbledore shares this revelation via his portrait. He is more amused than disturbed.
  • Only Sane Man: Snape, who attributes this to his Occlumency training.
  • Overly Long Name: Andromeda Merlina Francesca Tiffany Morningstar Brighteyes.
  • Parody Sue: Andromeda, with shades of Black Hole Sue, Fixer Sue, and God Mode Sue.
  • The Power of Love: How Andromeda claims to have redeemed Voldemort.
  • Psychic Nosebleed: The portrait of Slytherin suffers one of these after ten days of Nyan Cat, leading him to seek out Nicholas Flamel's portrait for an amnesia potion.
  • Reality-Breaking Paradox: Snape suggests that the entire Western Hemisphere will be swallowed by a black hole if he dies when he's already dead.
  • Reality Warper: Andromeda, and by extension all Mary Sues.
  • Ron the Death Eater: Also invoked literally.
    Ron: Why do I have a Dark Mark on my arm?
  • Running Gag:
    • Snape's hair.
    • People telling Snape that they thought he was dead.
  • Running on All Fours: Lupin, whenever he needs an extra burst of speed.
  • Scare Chord: At the mention of the name "Mary Sue", Lily (and apparently only Lily) hears a sound that she compares to someone sitting on the keys of a pipe organ.
  • Self-Fanservice: Snape's makeover in the beginning appears to be an in-universe example of this.
  • Shipper on Deck: Andromeda again, though as a Sue she has the power to enforce her chosen pairings as well. So far, she seems to favor:
    • Severus Snape/Lily Evans-Potter: Even going so far as to resurrect Lily to make this happen.
    • Draco Malfoy/Pansy Parkinson
    • Harry Potter/Hermione Granger: Which necessitates...
    • Ginny Weasley/Neville Longbottom, and...
    • Ron Weasley/Lavender Brown
  • Shout-Out:
    • Discworld: "Sixteen-year-old girls didn't go hoppity-skip unless they were on drugs."
    • Mortal Kombat: Snape uses his braid to grab Gilderoy Lockhart and yank him closer during a duel, complete with a shout of "Get over here!".
    • My Little Pony: Friendship Is Magic: Luna sings a modified version of "The Laughter Song" to handle a large group of Boggarts.
  • Spit Take: Snape's reaction to the idea of Snape/Giant Squid.
  • Stepford Smiler: Everyone. This scares the hell out of Snape.