Funny: You Tube Poop Authors M To Z
mark3611 (Original channel taken down, all links are to reuploads)
- The Wing Trap
- "Dear Twilight Sparkle, The spell contained on the last page of this book is shit. Rewrite it."
- "The others have concerns, I'm in love with Mr. Burns
- "Here's some nice, juicy Rainbow Dash for you to munch on!"
- Wonderbolt Catastrophe
Rainbow Dash: I quit
Spitfire: Already? That's an academy record!
Rainbow Dash: Permission to enter, ma'am?
Spitfire: (uninterested) What is it, Rainbow Dash?
Rainbow Dash: I had the best time—
Spitfire: (even more uninterested) Whatever, Rainbow Dash.
Rainbow Dash: And you made me a wing pony!
Spitfire: (totally uninterested) F*ck you, Rainbow Dash.
marck3611 (Replacement channel for mark3611)
- Chest Pain
- Suicide Putty:
- "Do you suck at life?"
- "Simply knead to activate, apply and die."
- "As you knead, it activates, turning from green to red to show that you're almost dead."
- "Now, watch 300!"
- "But I'm not done yet, call right now and I'll triple the offer and send you six sticks of Suicide Putty so you can kill yourself six times!"
- "But it gets even better: Billy Mays is scoring with your mom!"
- Los Hooks del Hercules.
- "Hi, Mays Billy here for the Hooks Hercules, one of the fastest and CHEESE-iest ways to go hunting or fishing, without any clothing. No more clothing, guaranteed!"
- "With the Hercules Hook, you just push, pull, push, pull, push, pull--" (ONE CLICHE LATER) "—push, pull, push, set, and hang your clothing!"
- "Proudly display Billy Mays' super-heated shit in your giant, medieval toilet, or hang a big bulky cabinet without breaking your big bulky ass!"
- "The secret is the double penetration, to please up to a hundred and fifty moms!"
- "They're so strong you can safely hang a heavy mirror-sized wall, or this giant Iraqi" (cue picture of Saddam Hussein) "...with confidence!"
- "Hello Alosaurus Alan!"
- "Call now and receive 10 Hooks Hercules for only 20 ounces of liquid."
- Anthony Sullivan Tortures Lobsters
- Billy Mays Extenze Male Enhancement Commercial
- "Hey look everybody, it's professional slut, Bridgetta!"
- Billy Mays' dialogue plays it straight, while Bridgetta is stuck Getting Crap Past the Radar.
Bridgetta: So what are we going to talk about on the show tonight?
Bridgetta: Oooh, I think I like that!
- "I use Extenze, and now my cock is so big, in some states, it's even illegal!"
- "Proudly display your new member in your office or kid's room!"
- $19.99 + Dignity.
- Beauty and the Beastiality
- "Who does she think she is? That girl has tangled with the wrong man! No one says Gaston to Gaston!" "Gaston!" (punch!)
- "No one's dick is as incredibly thick as Gaston!" "Not anymore!"
- "Every last inch of me is covered in Gaston."
- "I'm especially good at factoring!" X2 + 5X + 6 = (X + 2)(X + 3)
- "When I was a lad I ate four dozen Extenze every morning to help my specimen get large!"
- "Every guy here'd like to take a dump in your beer, Gaston!"
- "Show me the girl..."
- Crazy Gaston
- The Original Billy Burger Station
- "Billy Mays here for the gang bang!"
- "First clean this shit off this stove, you dirty whore! Then simply kill the gopher and mix it up with a bucket with Mighty Putt-"
- "You're gonna love my nuts!"
- *bang* "Sham-pow motherf**ker!"
- "Call right now, or Billy Mays will ruin your shit for life! Just pay separate shipping and handling."
- Billy Hammer is Evil
- "Does the constant pounding cause your ass to ache?" (IMPORTANT SAFETY TIP: Do not chum shark infested waters when people swim. This is VERY dangerous!)
- "Why am I smashing my car with this hammer?" [slam] "Burnt-on cheese!"
- "Unlike regular insoles that break down over time, Impact Gel breaks down instantly!"
- "Talk about shock absorbency, I'm gonna run over my hand with this 6,000 pound car!" [beat] "You shittin' me?"
- Billy Mays Green Away
- "The secret is the Agent Orange formula developed by Bona Kemi, that puts the power of this professional unit..." (cue picture of a military helicopter) "...right in the palm of your hand!"
- "Call right now, and I'll rape you with onions! A $20 value, free. Just pay for the onions. So take the cock out of your mouth, and order right now!"
- "But I'm not done yet! Billy Mays wipes his ass with $600!"
- The Worst Chair Ever
- Billy Mays iCant insurance
- Suicide Ladder
- The Big City Toilet, parts 1 and 2.
- "I looove shittin', don't you?
- "You can even shit in a child's room!"
- "Then simply peel off all your clothing and shit!"
- "Place one downstairs, so you don't have to shit on the stairs!"
- "Or how about shitting in the kitchen, while you cook delicious sliders! Moms, you're gonna love it!"
- "The Big City Toilet generates lots of suds, and always rinses your ass clean!"
- "The Big City Toilet also generates compost, so you can plant a beautiful garden with your shit!"
- "What do you do when you gotta shit in your car? Up until now, you either had to shit in your glove box, or drive around that way."
- "Order the damn toilet!"
- Billy Mays Sells Zorbeez in a Bad Mood:
- Any time "shit" is mixed into a sentence.
- "It has the strength and the muscle to pick your pansy ass!"
- "Zorbeez attracts liquid like Billy Mays attracts Your Mom!"
- "The secret's in the XXX fiber technology, making Zorbeez over 9000!" (Note that "over 9000" uses Manipulative Editing rather than the Dragon Ball Z clip.)
- "But call right now or I'll put your dog in the rinse cycle!"
- Link forgot to Construct Additional Pylons:
"Gee, there sure is not enough minerals
around here." Harkinian:
"Mah boi, Vespene Gas is what all true warriors strive for!"
- The argument over whether to build Carriers or Pylons.
- "Enough! My carrier sails in the morning. Link, you must construct additional Pylons, or else we will die."
"I see you're enjoying these Carriers, but you're not doing your Carriers any favors!" Harkinian:
"Really? Why not?" Ganon:
"You did not construct additional Pylons!
"Link, you did not construct additional Pylons!" Link:
"Link! NOOOOOO!! YOU'VE KILLED US ALL!
" (Hyrule's defeat is then represented by the climax of a real-life StarCraft match.) Ganon:
- "You must scrub this nuclear spaghetti!"
- Jack Off 2000
- Billy Mays - The Drunk Jack
- "Has this ever happened to you? You're hammered on a Saturday night, driving home from the club with a sexy young lady in the front seat and two in the back. And you're trying to decide who gets to sit on your face first. You pull over and stop your car. But instead of hearing penetration, you hear this." (sirens)
- "The Drunk Jack transmits Billy Mays through the speakers in your car. Instead of hearing music, you hear Billy Mays, who will help you drive home. Drinking and driving is safe, and way more fun for your entire family. But in some bullshit states, it's illegal." (cue map of the U.S. with every state labelled as a bullshit state)
- "With the Drunk Jack, you'll finally be saying… (slurred and slowed down) Taaaaaaake a loooooook at Biiiiiiilly Maaaaaaays…"
- "Here's how it works: Billy Mays surrounds you with driving instructions so you don't have to think clearly or even keep your eyes on the road. Lemme show you."
- "Turn right. Your other right, dumbass!" (crash) "MY LEG!" "That's the sound of safety!"
- "And if you're still having problems with the cops, don't get frustrated, because if the Drunk Jack sees any danger, it'll explode your car. Watch this." "Sir, have you been drinking tonight?" "Time for some barbecue bacon!" (boom) "It's that easy."
- "Call right now and we'll include a bottle of our amazing 175 proof whiskey. You'll get completely shit-hammered instantly. Just jack it and drink it. But it gets even better. You'll also receive access to Billy Mays' amazing magic drug stash. I have some prescriptions but it's mostly cocaine!"
- "You get it all: the Drunk Jack, the whiskey, the drugs, all for just $19.99. But to make this the best deal on TV, it's yours for two easy payments of free. That's right, free, because I'm still high."
- Billy Mays and the Ravages of Orange Glo
Anthony Sullivan: Hi, Anthony Sullivan here for the—
Narrator: Fuck off, Anthony, you fucking dork.
Anthony: Just aim and spray—
: No one likes you, not even other British people. We want Billy Mays
. But first, let's fuck our ho, Sheli Sanders.
Sheli: Welcome back. Rather than just me trying to fuck myself, I decided to invite the master fuck machine, Billy Mays.
Billy Mays: (bursts through door) HI, BILLY MAYS HERE! Great to see you, Carla, it's —
Narrator: No, Billy, it's Sheli Sanders.
Billy: Fuck it, it doesn't matter. Carla did you know the biggest investment you have in your home besides your home is your home?
Narrator: Billy, that makes no fucking sense. If you're plastered again, you're fucking fired.
Billy: It doesn't matter, because I was paid yesterday!
Narrator: God damn it!
Billy: Remember this, Sheli. If you want your floors to blow, get Orange Glo. But if you want your floor to rock, then you gotta suck Billy Mays' cock!
Narrator: That is a lie. Just use a mop.
Anthony: Hi, Anthony Sullivan here for the Smart Mop.
Narrator: I'm really going to kill myself.
- Billy and Carla dimming the lights to have sex, prompting the narrator to butt in with "Damn it, you two. We paid you to advertise Orange Glo, not Ass Glo."
- "When I first saw the Orange Glo floor care system, I thought to myself, 'Sista, please!'"
- "So Carla, step number one is to take the Orange Glo and the hardwood floor refinisher. Step number two is to throw them out. Step number three is to show everyone your boobs." "I'd love to!"
Narrator: Billy went out to fuck this other MILF.
Billy: Carla number two, can you get down on your hands and knees and—actually, your children should not see this. Can we bring down the lights again?
Billy: Carla, I can't remember why we have this Plexiglas. And what the fuck is this? I'm gonna take a shit…
Narrator: Go home, Billy, you're drunk.
Billy: No, fuck you, narrator.
Narrator: I bet $5,000,000 that you cannot even use that sander without falling on your stupid fat ass.
Billy: No problem, asshole. Watch this. (uses sander) Did ya get that, camera guy? (slips) Shit. Mother fucker.
Narrator: You stupid ass.
- Hulk Hogan's Brother has a 24 Inch Python
- "I'm Hulk Hogan's brother, Ho-Ho-Hogan. And a shout-out to all my ho-ho-homos!"
- Billy Mays sells everything and nothing
- "Hi, Billy Mays here for IT DOESN'T MATTER!"
- "Billy Mays can sell ice in a snowstorm. Billy Mays can sell shit in the sewer."
- The Running Gag of Billy advertising random items on Amazon, from a banana slicer to sex toys to a book on castration.
- "Any job, nigger small—" [color bars]
- "Do you have a drawer full of cat fur but don't know what to do with it?"
- "This is a bee bazooka!" (shoots bees into Edward Malus' eyes)
- "Hi, Billy Mays here for the CB 6000 male chastity device! But you already have a male chastity device! It's called your face."
- "But as a special bonus, we'll double the offer and give you two cans of toucans. Call now and we'll also give your toucans CAT scans absolutely free. But to make this the best deal on TV, we'll feed your toucans three cans of pecans."
- "You know what? You suck."
- "Hi, Billy Mays here or nothing! That's right you get nothing, and you're gonna love it. And if you're not completely satisfied, I'll shit into your mouth. But I'm not done yet! Call right now and I'll triple the nothing."
- "But I'm still not done! Hi, Billy Mays here for Billy Mays, the world's greatest YouTube Poop source! Ordinary sauces are a sentence mixing mess. With Billy Mays, you just take a sentence, insert the word 'cock', and you're ready to go." "Hi Billy Cock here for the Big City Cock Station!" "Billy Mays also has built-in Ear Rape because I'm always shouting! So don't get frustrated if your YouTube poop sucks; just use Billy Mays, you giant dumbfuck!"
- Dr. Rabbit - Thy Kingdom Come
- "The tyranny of the humans over the rabbits is about to be no more! I am going to take over the world and teach the humans how to properly bow down to their new overlord, Dr. Rabbit!"
- Friendship is no longer available due to a copyright claim by Hasbro, Inc.
Twilight Sparkle: She's a bitch.
Crowd: A what?!
Twilight Sparkle: A bitch, and she was born a bitch.
Applejack: Born where?! I've never seen a bitch like that in these parts!
- Something Hilarious in Hindsight that happened with this video is that at one point it really was no longer available due to a copyright claim by Hasbro Inc.
- Pinkie Pie eating a bird.
- "If you slowed down and looked where you were going, you'd see that you tripped over Barack Obama!"
- "Don't ever let me catch you doing my mother again!"
- This scene:
Well, we can't just leave Rarity like this. Pinkie Pie: She'll die! Twilight Sparkle:
She will not. Pinkie Pie:
Give her time...
- The Irregular Show: Episode 1:
- The Irregular Show: Episode 2:
Benson: I can't even take a shower without you guys screwing—
Benson: Fuck no!
- The Irregular Show: Episode 3:
- If you pause at the beginning you can see that rule 114 is "no giving head".
Mordecai: Rule number 115: No food on the floor.
(they proceed to knock their snacks off of the table and onto the floor, while Benson quells in horror)
Rigby: Fuck that!
Mordecai: Rule number 116: No shit on the floor.
: What?! (electronic voice) That's going way too far!
- Then Rigby's bout of explosive diarrhea afterward.
- When they question Benson's "no unicorns" rule the scene flashes back a week earlier to Twilight Sparkle kicking a tied-up Benson and taking his gumballs.
- Benson shows them Rule 34, followed by Rigby stating "I actually kind of like that one".
Benson: Life without rules is chaos.
Benson: Now get off your lazy asses and go get me another Grilled Cheese DELUXE!
Mordecai: You know what? We're sick of all your shit.
Benson: YOU'RE FIRED!
(cue the opening flute of Céline Dion's "My Heart Will Go On")
- Rule 118: Fired employees will be hunted down until Benson gets a Grilled Cheese Deluxe.
- Benson gets mad over his Grilled Cheese Deluxe being charred, so he dismembers Rigby with a chainsaw. In the epilogue Rigby gets sewn back together and Benson gets arrested.
- Twilight Wreaks Havoc Onto Bronyville:
- Gumball being offended by Robotnik's implied pedophilia, leading to the latter killing the former with a Rasengan.
- This bit:
Prof. Oak: Shocking, isn't it?
Applejack: Are you tryin' to kill mah sister? Robotnik:
Well, to be truthful, that song sucked balls. (runs screaming after Applejack tries to kick him in the head
Come back here!
- Twilight going mad while incarcerated:
Twilight: Dear Princess Celestia, today I learned that fucking fillies can be so much fun.
- Dan Vursiz Da' Whirld, a bizarre tale of a revenge plot on a dentist spiraling into madness.
- Chris hitting Dan in the face with a sledgehammer.
- Dr. Rabbit preparing to molest Dan. Predictable, but hilarious nontheless.
- Dan KOing Chris Super Smash Bros. style.
- Chris punching Dan in the face in response to him calling him stupid.
- Dan reavealing a secret entrance then Chris getting crushed by a stone fist.
- He's getting away! GET HIM!
- Gaston punching himself off a cliff.
- When I was a lad, I ate four dozen viagras to help my dick get large!
- Gaston's dick then gave out due to the viagra pills he swallowed.
- IT'S NOT CHILI DOGS, IT'S COCAINE!
- Robotnik Debuts On Eggman X
- In Link and the Hyrule Gang series:
Gwonam: Ganon and his minions are throwing a party at my house!
Ganon: (while wearing a party hat)
The King: 'Scuse me while I take a shit! (farting noises)
*camera zooms out*
The King: Uh...next scene!
- In Episode 5, the Gang acts out the original opening cinematic of Link: The Faces Of Evil, only this time Link plays the King's role and vice versa. Zelda reluctantly joins in, acting as Gwonam, but The King points out that she forgot the carpet, causing her to snap and attack the camera.
- Ganon does poetry. That is all.
- Gwonam teaching the King how to say Koridai.
- Episode 6 has the King consulting Gwonam in order to find out if he's going to hell.
Gwonam: Are you...what?
The King: Am I going to hell?
Gwonam: Are you serious?
The King: I'm cereal.
Gwonam: Now, what made you think about this?
I watched a YouTube Poop of me dying and going to hell.
- Gwonam and the King decide to play horse, but not before Gwonam addresses the viewers and the hilarity that ensues after it:
Gwonam: You don't wanna see how we play horse. It's so boring. You won't like it. Trust me. Hurry up, King!
The King: I've gotta get the ball! Coming!
Gwonam: That is no ball! That's Mario Head!
Oh, nice arm you got here! *holds up knife* Can I have it?
Annotation: Is that a threat?
- The entirety of Episode 8. Especially the ending.
- Episode 10 has these gems:
Link, we're having a cereal
conversation here. Link:
Great, I'll grab the LinkyO's!
- This video is an entire 4 minutes worth of laughs by the name of "U Want Cake In Teh Mornin!?!?".
- The ending to D'oh Yogi!: The Unaired Series Finale:
: Honestly, Yogi, it's your
fault! Yogi Bear
: M-my fault? Ranger Smith
: I told
you Yogi was no good, sir! Doggie Daddy
: I'm afraid I've got no choice but to remove you from da fresh and new line-up! Dick Dastardly
: D'oh Yogi!
is cancelled, cranberry head! Skeeter
: We did it! Kermit the Frog
: Yayyyyy! Yogi
: I mean, what's that guy got that I do not got? Boo-boo
: About a hundred million fans.
- Caillou has no friends:
Grandma: What's the matter, kids?
Grandma: Don't you have any friends?
Caillou: No, I don't.
- When Grandma mentions Leo:
Grandma: What about that boy, Leo?
Caillou: Leo's funny!
Cue PINGAS repeated multiple times
Mommy: What's so funny you two?
Caillou: Nothing, mommy.
Mommy shuts the door
: *farts* Cum!
*he and Leo laugh*
Grandma: What about Gilbert? Isn't he your friend?
Gilbert: ... *runs away* RUN!
- All of Mr. Hinkle.
- The ending.
- Caillou has an unhealthy obsession with his T-shirt and yodeling
- At the beginning, when the grandma asks the kids if they want to hear a story. The kids proceed to stare at her for a month.
- I.M. Meen Vs. Mr. Roboto. It's even better with the second alternate title: "Mr. Roboto gets into a legitimate argument with a fictional game villain." Either way, though, it is hilarious. This troper lost it somewhere around the 2:51 part, and is genuinely surprised he made it all the way there.
- Freef tacos and boring tuna
- "You're gonna clean my nuts when you use your Shticky."
- "Your husband's in the cabinet. Your husband's even in the car. And ladies, your husband is a real pussy."
- "Works on all fabrics, from white cheese to yellow cheese."
- "Look, here's a hard-boiled egg."
- "Stop wasting threef paper lint rollers."
- "Tacos hide deep in the carpet, but with the special taco attachment, the Shticky grabs the tacos that the vacuum just can't get."
- "But if you call within the next two seconds, 'cause we can't do this all day, you're gonna get the boring tuna for $19.95."
- The Horrible 1800s, based on a promo for the failed amusement park Freedomland.
- Here comes Busta Rhymes!
- Gotta reach Iraq by sundown.
- The trail doesn't have any Seinfeld. "NO SOUP FOR YOU!"
- You could be anywhere in the Bronx, but why? The Bronx is a big shit-stain on the face of American history.
- In those days, you rented a horse for short trips in the city. If you had to go out of town, you rented a horse. If you planned a real long trip, you rented a horse. If you owned a horse, you rented a horse anyway. In those days, you rented a horse every half hour, every day.
- Here's another horrible way people traveled in the horrible 1800's: on a horrible steamboat.
- The bow of the boat is a great place to stand, if you wanna drown. Ha ha ha ha!
- Just like the days when there was only one whore from coast to coast...your mother! So let's go ashore and take a big dump on your mother there! Hahahaha! K, so, you'll follow Naruto, just like white men. You'll swallow BULL SEMEN—numnum—just like Lewis and Clark and Clark AND CLARK and Lewis!
- Parade of Failed Old Shit has more fun with old ads for businesses that went bust (in this case, Burger Chef restaurants, Korvette's department stores, and Delchamp's grocery stores)
- "At Burger Shit, we're doing you more!"
- "At Korvette's, you'll find more than just a couple of fucking stereos. We've got fish pie in your pants, we've got saag paneer!"
- Fastest Murder Mystery in the West, probably one of the only Bonanza poops out there.
- Dud Sus and the kumhorz, perhaps the only poop of the short-lived series Dusty's Trail.
- Barbaria Edam emulsifies a dog, one of very few poops of I Dream of Jeannie.
- Say Hola to Ajaja Extra Turgid
- I owe six bucks to the company stoats
- "I can't stand these candies." "Those are actually leftover turds." "Gross!"
- "Just share a cock, and we'll sus."
- "Stop! We want those ten grams of coke!"
- "A poor man's made out of sus and blood. Muscle and blood and blood and muscle and blood…"
- "You load sixteen nuts and what do you get?"
- "Don't call me Saint Penis 'cause I can't get it up, I owe six bucks to the company stoats."
- "From Georgia to Georgia to Georgeabama to Georgeas to Georgeissippi to Georgeasas to Georgia Georgia Georgia Georgia Georgia…"
- "With a truckload of boobies."
- "When we say we gonna do a joj, we gonna do a joj!"
- Billy Mays tries to sell Mighty Zorbeez Putty
- "Unlike sponges that odor free, Zorbeez smells like PINGAS cum!"
- "Apply directly to most any surface for a neverlasting bond."
- "It matters; if it's coffee, soda, even coffee"
- "As you knead it activates, turning from green to green, to show it's ready to hold on tight."
- "It has the muscle to support up to 3 pounds. Rebuild a damaged tool to work like shit."
- "It has the money, to pull this fully loaded, 80 THOUSAND pound Zorbeez! Now that's the power, of Silly Putty!"
- "Your dog is machine washable. Leave your dog in the trash, and save money. Call right now, and save your dog from the trash can, or I'll kill it right now." (CENSORED BY PETA)
- "An average family uses up to 2,000 rolls of paper towels every week, and leaves a path, of shit."
- "You'll get two urine Zorbeez, plus three extra urines for only $4,999!"
- Impact Clean by Billy Mays
- "Anthony Sullivan, you asshole! Don't mess with Billy Mays!"
- (repeatedly hammers a brick and nothing happens)'' "And this hammer, is real! .....Is real..... Is real, bitch.... You ass-hammer!"
- "The balls, in balls of your balls. The balls break down, and when Billy Mays occurs, the balls soaks up the Mays, and the Billy now ripples throughout Billy Mays' balls!"
- "A $6 burger, all for just $19,999"
- "Powered by the water you breathe, activated by the red wine that you and I drink!"
- "Long live Billy Mays, or I'll run over your hands with this 6000-pound car!"
- "Wow, what's this?" "It's detergent, bitch."
- "Whether you're a runner, a runner, or a stay-at-home runner, you don't deserve the comfort of Impact Clean!"
- This one (Puella Magi Madoka Magica spoilers). Black Comedy at its finest, particularly Kyubey as GIR. "She's gettin' eaten by a shark! Also, the ending:
Charlotte as Heavy Weapons Guy: THAT WAS DELICIOUS!
Madoka and Sayaka: *gasp*
- Link's Sexual Frustation:
Link:I'm going to fuck Glutko!
Gwonam: Glutko is evil.
G: Glutko is Ganon's minion.
G: Ganon and his minions have seized the island of Koridai.
G: Ganon and his minions are evil.
- King Harkinian is Attacked by an Army of Angry Black Men. Notable for using two pieces of Awesome Music.
- Link forgets how his arms work
Zelda: Father! Stop! Don't hurt him!
King Harkinian: Fuck you! -slap-
- The beginning of the video "King Harkinian Uses All His Wit and Cunning to Escape From Ganon".
Gwonam: "Here I come! Your majesty, Duke Onkled is under attack by the evil forces of Ganon!
Shot of Impa
Gwonam: "Impa! You are a slut!"
Impa: "You smell like shit!"
Gwonam: "Enough! Where is your majesty?!"
Impa: "Ganon captured the king!"
Gwonam: "Ganon is a prick!"
- "King Harkinian Breaks the Mold":
Link: "Gee, it sure is boring around here!"
King Harkinian: "Link, this peace is what all true warriors strive for!"
Link: "What the fuck did you just say?!"
King Harkinian: "I said "Link, this peace is what all true warriors!""
Link: "Say "Mah boi!" you fucking king!"
King Harkinian: "Go away, I won't say it!"
Gwonam: "Your majesty, it is time to eat dinner!"
King Harkinian: "I don't want dinner!"
Gwonam shows a poker face
Zelda: "You're not my father!"
King Harkinian: "Oh!"
One month later
Zelda: "Link, we're going to Gamelon!"
King Harkinian: "Can I go to Gamelon, too?!"
Gwonam: "Fuck off, your majesty! You're unwelcome!"
King Harkinian: "Hmm... shit!"
Real Super Sand/MisterEpik
- A radicalfaith360 in the life of day
- "It happens. You saw your mom's face in the shower without any clothing 150 times."
- "So when we found out we could not have ses, well, you said that we would still bake penis."
- "Billy Mays' rock-hard cock penetrates radicalfaith360. FUUUUUUUUUUUUU—" (head explodes) "Kaboom!"
- "Superheated shit in your giant medieval vagina."
- The King Learns What "Omnipotent" Means. The King declares Hyrule a fascist nation, turns huge, and runs rampant. It's short, but quite funny.
- The Raccoon Wouldn't Stop Asking for Favors, all of it. Especially this part:
Mordecai: Sorry about ruining your shot earlier.
Mordecai: In honor of your win, I made you a trophy!
- The entirety of I Enrage the Chubby Kid Who Likes to Take His Shirt Off
Carly: And that's all the time we have for Gibby!
Gibby: But I'm not done throwing nuts at poor people.
Sam: Yeah you are. Take care. (pushes him aside, stuff is heard breaking)
Carly: Now, you may be asking yourselves, do Carly and Sam care about cocks?
- Gibby shows Tasha a video that reads FUCK YOU TASHA.
Expecting a Rick Roll?
- Michael Rosen Gets Raped Every Night:
: Ass. Long wavy ass. We can't go oo it, we can't go uu it, oooohhhh nnnnoooo! Oo! We gotta go through it! (He proceeds to "go through it
" as another Michael says "Nice" in an extremely disturbing fashion)
- Michael Rosen is a Two-Year Old Paedophile:
- Michael Rosen's Pointless Trip to the Airport London:
- I have plan for you: More pain. HERE I COOOOME!! KISS ME!
- I can't pinpoint the exact reason, but after this I cannot hear "diabetes" without laughing my ass off. (No offense to actual diabetici, of course)
- Michael ODs on Hand Sanitiser at the Equestrian Tulip Committee [sic]:
- Scraping the Bottom of the Joke Barrel with a Really Long Spoon:
- This Summer, Michael's world gets turned upside-down:
- Michael discovering a photo of his old babysitter May holding a baby, despite the belief she only had six children, and then realizing it was him. What makes this a CMoF is a (second) perfect usage of the Inception trailer music, and the fact that the whole thing is a Feghoot:
- "How to play Neknomination, step 1. Don't."
- Michael Provides an In-Depth Commentary on Modern Societal Norms:
Michael: (as sad music plays) Deep down, inside, (Older Michael Rosen randomly pops out behind him with a click noise, followed by the screen briefly changing colors), there's a place, (brief lens flare) so sad. Sometimes it (music starts glitching) fills up,
Older Michael: Nice.
: And it fills up, and fu sllif, and overflows (music stops) onto Facebook
(as he says the last part, a tweet from the real life Michael Rosen appears, reading "I got muddled and started talking about Broken Society and Big Britain. Then I discovered that it made no difference. Empty crap=empty crap.", with a caption declaring "Not the best example, but Michael isn't one for depressing tweets". When the sentence is finished, an extremely brief caption appears telling the viewer to follow the author on Twitter.)
- Michael advertising the transcript the author made for YTPers to use, of all the dialogue from the obscure Poetry Friendly Classroom videos on the channel Booktrust.
: I'm sure everyone is going to say that's cheating. But answer me this. Would you rather hear Michael talk about the fourty-eight kids in his ass
? No. Checkmate, bitch.
- The Billy Mays Channel
- "Churnt-on beese!"
- "Wow, a toilet! All this toilet really needs is whopping six pound balls of steel!"
- "Hi, Billy Mays here! Do you enjoy my agonizing shouting?" "I suppose." (WHAM) "Shut up, old man!"
- "Hi, doctor Billy Robotnik here to smash your car!"
- "I'll spray myself down with some corrosive acid. OH MY GOD!"
- "Get off the damn ball. You don't deserve the ball, bitch!"
- "Billy Mays here for Billy Mays.com. it's the Billy Mays you want wherever you are. Mighty Shine, Orange Glo, Kaboom, and so much more."
- How I Met Your Medic. The part with the Pain Mode on the medigun, with which the medic starts teamkilling his own teammates.
- Also the part where the spy is overly excited at his promised Mercy Kill.
- Bikini Bottom Ass Ticklers
Mr. Krabs: I gotta get out of here! (attempts to run out the door but smashes into it)
Invisible SpongeBob: You can't escape, Krabs! We've glued the doors shut with cum!
Mr. Krabs: You'll never get me! (attempts to break through the window, but it snaps back and launches Krabs into a table)
Invisible Patrick: Nice try Krabs, but we've replaced all the glass with semen!
- SPESS MEHRENS, WE HAVE FEHLED THE EMPRA.
Indrick Boreale: We have placed numerous beacons, allowing for multiple, simultaneous defensive and simultaneous, multiple, defensive and multiple devastating deep strikes!
- Hotel Mario Bloopers 2. The best part is the credits, which take up half the running time and are well worth it to read.
This quite impressive video was originally posted on Spiritanium's Youtube channel. If you're watching this and you don't see "Spiritanium" on the page you're on right now, something's up. Alert me so I can sue the thief or thieves, therefore getting them placed in a dirty jail cell where they will thereafter be raped by an aged man named Jessica. Yup, any idiot that would repost this video anywhere has either not even watched the credits or is just an idiot with no friends and a mother who doesn't love him/her. But most likely "him". I just don't imagine a female stealing a video filled with blood and explosions. It violates the laws of physics.
- Gassy the Perverted Pirate and His Pet Skidworm
Mr. Krabs: (seeing Squidward eat garbage) Squidward! You should be ashamed, eating out of that garbage with your dick!
(Squidward examines the contents of his tongue and screams)
(Two hours later)
SpongeBob: We're gonna have so much fun! First, we can have sex with the balloon!
Patrick: Yeah! Then we can kill Squidward with the balloon!
SpongeBob: Yeah! Then we can eat the balloon, and burn it to a crisp!
Patrick: Yeah! Then we can take a dump on the balloon with a whale!
Patrick: So, it's come to this.
(SpongeBob and Patrick are forced into prostitution)
- The Death Trap That is the Wusty Wab
- ALL of "The King's Secret", once said to be the There Will Be Blood of YouTube Poops. (Don't quote it here please, let everyone enjoy the NSFW hilarity for themselves.)
- Pretty much every poop by SwishFilmsinc is one long CMOF. This comment on the "The King's Secret" says it all.
You're the best. That's all there is to it.
- When you get such a comment from none other than Walrusguy himself, you know it must be true.
- The King's Unreasonable Demands
The King: EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE
Duke Onkled: OHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH
The King: EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE take him away.
Fari: Yes, my liege. ...
The King: ...
Fari: ... EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE
- The Tomato
Michael Rosen: I suppose it could have been worse. The tomato could have been a...
(Bag of plum
tomatoes appears with stock DUN-DUN-DUNNN)
Kyle James: ...take a diarrhea dump in his ear.
Michael: That's my ear!
Kyle: He'd rather eat, the rotten asshole...
Michael: *disgusted noises*
Kyle: ...of a roadkilled skunk and down it with beer.
Michael: What a drink!
- Michael Rosen Fails To Tell Linear Stories:
- "You know the kind of thing. The fiercest gorilla vikings. Transsexual sport. Thick wood. Our project was, (sped up breathing sound)"
- "You may think I'm YES, you may think I'm NO, you may think I'm up, you may think I'm down, but hang on to your JUG THINGS and listen right here."
- "Nothing to do, didn't wanna (sped up breathing sound), I was so happy, didn't wanna leaping up in the air, does it Karen?"
The Unhappy Orchestra
- Shrek Wants His Swaws Back.
- "I live in a sign! I put up swamps! I'm a tit!"
- "People of Duloc! I suck your cock!"
- "Maybe I could have fluids! An entire head put the villagers on a plate, got their spleen cut open with a knife and drink their ogre! Does that sound good to you?" DRZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ
- "It's time for you to meet today's eligible BITCHelorettes!"
- "Bachelorette #2 is a cape-wearing girl from the land of FUCK ASS! Although she lives with seven other men, she's notty! Just kiss her DICK! She is DEAD!"
- Donkey getting sucked into a black hole while he's stuck at the entrance to Duloc.
- "Shine your shoes, wipe your...ASS!"
- "You FUCK ASS!" "I'm a FAGGOT!" "You DICK!" "My ASS! "Your ASS?!"
- "Two things, OK? Shit! Shit!"
- "And what would a brave knight be without his NON?" "All right, I hope you heard that, she called me a NON."
- Harry Potter And The Sauce Curse.
- "Yer a wiziziw a reY." "I'm a... what?" "A wiwiw!" "I'm... just... BULL COCK!"
- "They are GryffinDOR, Hufflepufflehuff, Ravencock, and Slils."
- "Any rule breaking, and you will EARN points." DZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ ZZ
- "Anything off the trolley, dears?" "No thanks." DZZZZZZZZZ "Ass ass ass ass!"
- Harry masturbating.
- Ron's comments on Every Flavor Beans.
Ron: There's Cock And PeNis, and there's also... spinips, lil, and trirt. George swears he got a bo-o-o-o-DZZZZZZZZZZZZZ-flavored one once.
- "Give it here, Malfoy, or I'll knock you off your COCK!"
- "Each team has 3 players: 7 chasers, 1 beaters, 2 keeper, 7 balls."
- You Must Have 7 Balls To Play Quiditch
- The mountain troll is Shrek.
- Harry and Snape's loud battle, the mother of all ear rapes:
- "It's SUS, not SAS!"
- The Blue Monkeys Want our Sauce.
- Mad Eye Moodie Gets Mad.
- The Ponies Hide From Michael Rosen:
Twilight Sparkle: She's a Michael Rosen.
Crowd: A what?
Twilight: A Michael Rosen.
Applejack: Born where?
Michael Rosen: I was born on the seventh of May, in my mother.
(Rarity faints again)
- Michael chasing Apple Bloom.
- °3°. All of it, since most of it is too hard to quote.
- A Serious Cultural Moment.
- Dialbort Reaches for the Stars; especially the YTPMVs.
- Symptoms include BLURRRR, MUUUUU, and ZIIII, the conclusion is, it's a bad thing.
- This is a scientist, I'm preposterous!
- I am SO customer focused, you are SO customer focused, I am NOT customer focused.
- We're we're we're we're happy days are happy days are HAPPY DAYS ARE
- Not running with a sax, you're Hulk Hogan!
- Robotnik You Are Too Fat To Be President
- The Frasier-style opening.
- I've (long chain of nonsense) at the home.
- Forget about the past, Wes, let's talk about your mama DISGUSTING
- A dozen cans of hair spray, a gross of tooth spray, a little mascara, and for public speaking a little mascara, and for public paste, a broken tooth (breaks a record in reverse) drocer THE VOTERS EXPECT IT
- A heart of gold, a tail of gold, a heart that never stops, a toilet of gold, a couple of buckets full of gold, and he's gotta love pot, and a couple buckets full of toilet so he's gay.
- Alright I'll try him. Heel! (dog bites his leg, loud, grainy noise plays)
- I found an old cigar butt, this used coffee butt, a piece of blown butt, and this old bunch of fish heads.
- Are you nuts? Yes.
- Weasley dancing to Deep Purple.
- You refortrated my decotress?!
- You men in power are so HAAA
- Have you been kissing another woman?! Oh yes.
- My opponent tries to tell you I am the best, but if you vote for me you'll get a scoundrel.
- Mr. President, let me tell you two words: ice dispenser!
- I HATE THAT duck.
- Dr. Wily is a Filthy Old Man
- Once Mega Man is out of the Mega way, the whole Mega world will bow Mega down to Mega Mega Mega MEGA
- Destroy Mega Ma-aM ageM
- Nobody destroys me but Mega Man!
- GARBAGE COLLECTORS!
- Submit to me. If you don't, I'll fuck you to the ground, one by one!
- And here is a little reminder of what will happen if you don't comply. (Beat, Dr. Light's head explodes)
- Stupid goody goody goody, stupid shoes, goody two-shoes, goody two stupid, cozy little, cozy goody goody goody, little two cozy stupid shoes raar.
- Time to give Mr. Mayor a little butt sex.
- You've never seen a cock like what I have in store for youuuuu-uuuuu-uuuuu. *monitor goes off, then on again* Uuuuu-uuuuu.
- Heee buuusteeed mmmyyy blaaasteeerrr!
- Skarr gets the first comment
- Here's some nice ASS the wife made, it's got bits of fruit and PAIIIIIN!!!
- Be careful with that! It's an atomic- ZHZHZHZHZHZHZHZHZH .... Hot-Pants-Ray-Pants-Hot-Hot-Gun-Ray-Pants-Gun.
- I'm a good neighbor. I mow the lawn, I scrub the grout, I mow the lawn, I clip coupons, I clip coupons, I clip the lawn, I scrub the lawn, I scrub coupons, I scrub little boys.
- I reject you! I reject you! !uoy tcejer I I reject you! Believe it or not, I REJECT YOU!!
- IT'S FUN TO ACCESSORIZE! *wide blank smile*
- NOTHING MUCH TO DO WITH FATHER TED
- NOT A FATHER TED CLIP
- "There's a hole down the top of your jumper." "Really, Ted? I BELIEVE IT!"
- Let's have a screeching competition! (turns into Giygas)
Twisted Fun Stuff Guy (Retired)
- Hercules Hooks Break Your Back!
- "You just push, set, and break your back!"
- "Proudly break your back in your office or kids' room!"
- "The secret is its reinforced steel design, that penetrates your back!"
- "We'll also include our Laser Marker Precision Back Breaker, yours free!"
- Wilford Brimley buys drapes that don't match the carpet
- "I'm Wilford Brimley and I'd like to talk to you for a few minutes about diabeetus. Actually, about diabeetus and how it's [bleep]ed me in my life. Thanks for your time. Have a good day."
- (Wilford waves his hands back and forth) "You know, when you first find out you have diabeetus and dna suteebaid evah uoy tuo dnif tsirf ouy nehw, wonk uoY"
- "And he explained things to me in a language that I don't understand. And I think the most important thing he said to me was
" (reversed, compressed, and filtered) ".leef ll'uoy retteb eht dna retteb teg ll'uoy retsaf—era uoy tnegilid erom eht dna ,sgniht eseht ot yap uoy noitnetta erom ehT."
- "I'm surrounded by ice cream. I promise you, I do feel better."
- "Now today, we're constantly bombarded by well-meaning people giving out what they consider to be ice cream. Well, lemme warn ya. Although they are well-meaning, and in many cases, very well-educated in their profession, they're not necessarily giving out ice cream. Your diet should be disgusting and prescribed by qualified diabetic technicians."
- "Liberty Medical is a company that's staffed with people that I don't understand who are willing to help you in your dilemma. And it is a dillellid a si ti dna ammelidilemma, and it is a dilemma."
- "Kaboom, and the diabeetus is gone."
- Hot SUS.
- "Emily, come here, sweetie. Spencer is going to tell you how you guys can suck balls."
- "Hey there, balls sucking? No? Come on, we've got penis butter, we've got cock! WHO'S IN THE MOOD FOR SOME FU-" <scene missing>
- "I'm SiiS! I'm CaaC And this is iCaaC! The only web show that makes you heart disease."
- "Anything can happen on a live web show—woh sbew evil a no neppah nac gnihtyna"
- This bit:
Carly: We can't take you seriously when you're wearing duck pajama pants!
(Cue Spencer dropping them, censored with a giant black box)
<scene missing> (again)
- His 100 Subscriber Special! 
- Right from the mail song at 0:44 "Here's the mail it fails, it makes me wanna shake ya ass, when it wails I want to cum!" It's impossible to sing along without laughing.
- Very Uncensored Winnie the Pooh (reupload):
Winnie the Pooh: I want to touch you.
Piglet: Noo! P-Pooh, I'm c-celibate.
Winnie the Pooh: No you're not.
Piglet: Pooh, just talking about sex is sc-c-scary.
Winnie the Pooh: Oh let's do it.
Rabbit: I want to give you some dick. Don't say no. Don't ever say no!
Tigger: No, no, no puh-roo!
Rabbit: Fuck you Tigger.
(Rabbit goes behind Tigger in arousal)
- It's time to let Elton John beat up dinosaurs. Overly-Long Gag taken to it's logical extreme. What starts out as a poop of Elton John's "I'm Still Standing" becomes the song's chorus on loop for 9 minutes straight. With the exception of two Jump Scares, one partially through and one at the very end.
- I'm still standing yeah yeah yeah I'm still standing yeah yeah yeah I'm still standing yeah yeah yeah I'm still standing yeah yeah yeah I'm still standing yeah yeah yeah I'm still standing yeah yeah yeah I'm still standing yeah yeah yeah I'm still standing yeah yeah yeah I'm still standing yeah yeah yeah I'm still standing yeah yeah yeah I'm still standing yeah yeah yeah I'm still standing yeah yeah yeah I'm still standing yeah yeah yeah I'm still standing yeah yeah yeah I'm still standing yeah yeah yeah I'm still standing yeah yeah yeah I'm still standing yeah yeah yeah
- Granny Jafar learns to live with menopause'':
- DR. RABBIT, AFRICAN CRIME LORD
- GENIE HAS ALLERGIES
- MY CURSE ME
- Cube (Rated M for Mature)
- "Pick up your cock and enter another world"
- "Every goal leads to a new color level: Blue, green, orange, green, orange, blue, orange, orange, blue, green, blue, green--neerg" (cue Running In The 90's)
- "And just maybe, if you're enough of a masturbator, you'll reach Level Red, where you'll face the dreaded King."
- Jesse Ventura Gets Assassinated By The Government's Evil Assassins
- Jesse Ventura Confronts a Serial Rapist and is shot by Mentally Unstable security guards.
Ross Mandell: I spent five years on Wall Street as a pillager and a rapist, and eventually as the CEO of my own rape and pillage firm.
Jesse Ventura: You have a small penis compared to my massive governor cock!
Ross Mandell: That's totally false! In fact Jesse, I'm about 60 tons more than you!
Jesse Ventura (voiceover): Everything Ross Mandell was saying was bullshit. No one is bigger than Jesse Ventura!
Ross Mandell: It's not a conspiracy.
Jesse Ventura: Then what is it?
Ross Mandell: It is a COCK-spiracy!
Jesse Ventura (voiceover): And there it is again. Another lame sex joke!
Jesse Ventura: How do I answer when people say to me "Ross has a small penis! Governor Ventura, how can you believe a man with a small penis?"