(A duck is smoking.)
"No smoking... allowed... in the forest. ...fuck."
Snagglepuss: Good mornin' day! I'm gay!
- Robotnik's Face is Politically Incorrect:
- King Dedede Inhales a Negative Ion.
- Captain Rescue Gets His Cutie Mark
- Friendship is Magnets is pretty much a laugh riot from the off
Once upon a time, in the magical land of GERMANY... there were two regal sisters (Tia and Tamara Mowry appear very briefly)
who ruled together and harmed all the land. To do this, the eldest used RELISH, the younger, brought out MUSTARD. Thus, the two sisters maintained balance for their KITCHEN.
- "Are you coughing because of Gary Oak?"
- "It's- it's so... (pause) CUTE!" "Well, it is Tim Allen!"
- "The smallest peep could cause a huge cockslide!"
- When the Mane Six argue with Fluttershy:
Fluttershy! You have a wonderful talent dealing with all sorts of animals! Fluttershy: No you. Rainbow Dash:
Oh come on! We've seen you walk right up to a whore like it was nothing! Fluttershy:
No you. Pinkie Pie:
A bike is a dragon! You're not a dragon!
- Later on we get pretty much the mother of all jokes, most likely aimed at the Furry Fandom. note
You're not a bad dragon, you just need a Bad Dragon
. Now go pack your things. You just need a Bad Dragon, that's all.
Spike: (to Angel Bunny) How does Fluttershy put up with all you furries!?
Twilight: Spike, take a hike!
- "Dear Princess Celestia: I am Twilight Sparkle." "Twa-a-a-aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa!"
- "That's just it, Spike. The day after tomorrow is tomorrow! It's a paradox!"
- "My dearest and most faithful student, Twilight: you suck!"
- Mayor: "Holy SHIT! Seize her!"
- "Stand back, you IDIOTS!"
- Pinkie Pie's song:
When I was a little GIRL and my face was going dowwwwwwwwn, my PENIS
would always make God frowwwwwwwn! I'd hide under my pillow, from what I thought I pillow, But GAY Grammy said that wasn't the way to deal with fears at all! He said "Pinkie, you got you— you you got you you you got you you you go- learn to ice your pillow. You'll see that they can't hurt you, you just laugh to make them die! Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha haaaaaaaaaa su-u-u-u-us!" *squeak*
- And now for Bill Engvall! (music gets louder and louder until it reaches ear-blasting levels)
- Friendship is Gic: What A Story Mark Crusaders.
- The impromptu Marble Zone piano segment.
- The parody commercials. "Hi, Billy Mays here with Dumb Fabric! It has the strength! And the struscle! Here's how to order!" "Enjoy elephants again."
- Pinkie Pie's other song:
Bakin' these treats is such a bitch
Add a teaspoon of Godzilla
- Sweetie Belle responding to every yes/no question with "NO!".
Scootaloo: Wow, that's so awesome! Did you just come up with that now?
Sweetie Belle: NO!
- "Dear Princess Celestia: Today, I learned something."
- The intro misnaming the mane characters:
- Tim Allen as Rainbow Dish
- Steven Page as Pinkamena Diane Pie
- Some other idiot as Rarity
- John Madden as Applejake
- Larry Green as Fluttershibby
- Matt Paxton as Twillit Blend
- Jim Gaffigan as Spoke
- Jewish kittens as Incestia
- Friendship Is Gic: Pinkie Pie tlt uolliaC
: Here's my device. [draws a penis] Let's say that this is my hard DICK. Now remember, this could be either a DICK or a COCK or a PENIS
Applejack: So, all you have to do is make a DICK, and LICK IT?
Rarity: Oh-oh-oh-oh A-a-a-a-ple-le-le-ja-a-a-a-ack, you make me hard!
- (Art of the Dress starts up)
Rarity: Sssseeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeex *song ends*
Rarity: Please, Diamond Dogs... please let me go!
Diamond Dog: Hmmm... nah.
Rarity: But whatever do you want from me?
Diamond Dog: Your precious little PUSSY!
Rarity: Oh! Is that all?
Diamond Dog: NO! Suck my dick!
Diamond Dog: Yes, we said dick! Suck them all!
Rarity: But I thought you wanted to FUCK me?
: I used to wonder what the fuck friendship was / Until you French-kissed me Rainbow
: Big ad-" (cue the syllable "vent" several times, to the tune of The Magic School Bus
: A beautiful fart Applejack
: Faithful and str— Deana Carter
:♪ —awberry wiiiiiine~♪
Gilda: Come on, Rainbow Dash, I said sex!
Rainbow Dash: If being cool is all you care about, maybe you should go fuck yourself!
Twilight Sparkle: Dearest Princess Celestia: Today I learned that it's impossible to control your own behavior. Your faithful student, Twi-(cuts to credits)
- The Fesh Pince of Blair
- "Now this is a story all about how my license plate got flipped, turned upside down, and I'd like to take a shit on a couple of guys and my mom."
- "This is my daughter, KFC." "So, are you free for dinner tonight?"
- "My father just got an erection!"
- "Oh my god. He's God." HAAAAAAAAAAALLELUJAAAAH.
- "I am not a *BANG!* killer!"
- "What can you say about Carlton? ...He was Carlton."
: "And who are you?" Will
: "I'm The Dude
." [The man begins applauding, until his applause starts to sound like popcorn popping]
Are you out of your horny little adolescent minds!?! Carlton
: I know I am, dad. (cue dance beat
: 'Not available'? Perhaps you should let George
w that, as Carlton, I'm in a position to scratch his bush if he'll scratch mine, capisce? [beat
Will: This is my mother Carlton.... NOOOO!
Carlton: I wanna grow! [grows for a second] ...woah!
Geoffrey: You two are reeaaallllyyyyy lllaaammmmeeee!
- Uncle Phil blowing his top:
Uncle Phil: LOOK! YOU BIG-EARED FREAERF! YOU TAKE YOUR HORNY LITTLE ASS, AND YOU FIND GEOFFREY, AND YOU FIND GEOFFREY, AND YOU FIND GEOFFREY, AND YOU FIND GEOFFREY... [continues ad nauseam]
Will: Y'know... really, I don't mind the yelling... but did he have to sp-sp-sp-sp-spiips?
- "To me, Heaven has to be a cross between a Dikekike video and.... chicken an' winnigish! See, it's like... I could have a leg in one hand, and a BRERB in the other!"
- Uncle Phil reads a leaflet from Judge Robertson:
Uncle Phil: "Fuck Philip Banks. Banks wants to empty the banks, fill our streets with banks, and run a bank-making operation out of his banks."
Carlton: But, dad, aren't some of those banks?
- "Ha ha, and, might I add - HAH"
- "Yeah, Carlton Banks. That's 'B-E-A-E-N-K-E-S'. No 'E'."
- The Fesh Pince of Blair 2: Uncle Phill Yiffs in Heaven Again
- "Then he slapped me with his penis!"
- "Okay, I think you know who you're talking to. I'm Carlton. Carlton Banks you're talking to. Carlton. It's Carlton Carlton Carlton Carlton Carlton..."(gets thrown back in jail)
- Uncle Phil has a heart attack and goes to Heaven. What does he see? Heavenly stairs leading up to a crucified Gumby, posted in-between a screen showing The Fesh Pince of Blair on the left and a chicken on the word "Winnigish" on the right.
- "I guess we said some things we didn't mean." "Oh, I meant what I said. I'm having a heart attack." (Bowser laughs as screen fades out) "Oh! Oh, oh, oh!"
- Uncle Phil dying, then this happens:
"I'd like to welcome you to the memorial for Philip Banks. Saying a few words on the behalf of the departed will be Philip Banks."
"What can you say about Philip Banks?" (Audience looks blank) "What the heck can you say Philip Banks?!...Okay somebody bury this.
- "When Will was a baby, I was scared of babies."
- "For four years I treated that boy like my own son. Whatever he needed, whether it was pants or chicken, I was there for him!"
- *discussing Uncle Phil's weight* "It's not funny, fatty, I'm worried about you!"
- THREE YEARS LATER
- This is a black thing, isn't it?
- The hospital scene:
Carlton: (Flips Will's tray, walks towards the door) No more hugs, Will.
Will: You owe me!
Carlton: Oh, okay. (Walks back over to Will and hugs him)
- "YOUR GRANDCHILDREN ARE GONNA NEED GRANDCHILDREN LAWYERS"
- "Damn, man. It's so hot out there, the 'Uh-huh Girls' just went UUUUUUUU."
- Provocative Images of Swedish Meatballs
- "If only dad would fix the air conditioner in the pool house. How could he be so cruel house?"
- "Do you know how humiliating it is to have a son?"
- After this, Carlton promptly turns into Lucas.
- "That's the way you want it?" "Ointments."
- Will phones home after being released from jail:
Geoffrey: (Picks up phone, deep voice) Children. (Two noises)
Will: Uh, this is Will, man-
Geoffrey: (Cuts him off by making a noise) Die a violent death. (Hangs up)
- The Nutritious Chronicles of Celeryjack
: A pony whose contributions to— Rainbow Dash
: Did you see Applejack out there? What an ass! Twilight Sparkle
: Exactly! And— Pinkie Pie
: Ya gonna eat that!? Twilight Sparkle
: What does that have to do with Applejack? Pinkie Pie
: (blinks, beat
) Fuck you
Twilight: [sighs, annoyed]
That pony is a fuel! Voice:
Augh! Twilight: [Turns her head]
No offense. [Camera pulls back, reveals Antoine beside Twilight] Antoine:
I am not a fuel, YOU are ze fuel!
- "~I believe I can FLAALF!~"
- This part:
: Oh good, yuri
. I'm going to fuck you, and I'm not taking no for an answer. Applejack
: Okay, Twilight. Twilight
: I am not taking "Okay, Twilight" for an answer. Applejack
: Yes, PLEASE, Twilight!
- "Dear Princess Celestia, my friend Applejack is a BITCH. Your faithful student, Twilight Sparkle."
- Freddy Ruins Sam's Life
Suck my cock! (Sam vomits up her chips, then eats the vomit.) Carly:
Okay, but doesn't it bug- Freddy: NO JOKES, PUCKETT: THIS IS SERIOUS CHIZZ! Carly:
Okay, but doesn't it bug you that your mom and Lewbert are practically dating? Freddy:
They're not dating. Carly: Okay, but doesn't it bug you that your mom and- Freddy:
They're not dating, idiot. Sam: (to Freddy)
You know, your mom was right: you really should wear a belt. Freddy:
So people can't do this. (Sam gives Freddy a blowjob.) Lewbert:
Fuck my butt! Here's a fork! (Carly fucks Lewbert's butt using the fork.) Lewbert:
HARDER! HARDER! AGAIN NIAGA! Oh... Thank you, Marissaram. Marissa:
Please, call me Marissaram.
It's French: it mean penis-suckle. Lewbert:
Here's a fuzzy fork!
- "Anyone can roast beef, but nobody can pee!"
- "Anyone can suck penis, but nobody can pee suckiness!"
- John Goodman Breaks
- Just how Krobo makes John make random noises.
- "Quiet, Dan, you'll attract niggers."
- "OW, YOU'RE HURTING ME. YOU'RE HURTING ME"
- "Dan, is the dick clean or dirty?" [Dan turns and dances to the Ice Cap snowboarding music.] "Dirty."
- Superior Smash Siblings
- The excessive focus on Bowser, as if his inclusion is new and exciting.
Translation: Hello. I'm Super Smash Brother, from Super Smash Brothers.
- The German introducing Hitler at a rally.
German: (translated) Sup guys. Here's Hitler and stuff. [He spontaneously phases out of existence, as Hitler walks up to the microphone.]
- How the Grirch Borrowed Hanukkah (and subsequently returned it)
- The image of the Cat in the Hat from the "Cat in the Hat Productions" logo being replaced with him shouting "EGGS! EGGS!"note
Cat in the Hat: EEGS!
Part of a series on Hating Jews
Edited 3 days ago by the Jews
Added 4 days ago by Dr. SUS
The Grirch is a nice guy created by Canadian God IN SPACE. He hates Jews and Jew-like entities.
In the beginning there was Dike. Through this Dike we discovered Kike. It was then, AND ONLY THEN, that we could create a breakfast cereal with a perfect mixture of chocolate crunchiness and marshmallow-y goodness that's a part of this balanced breakfast.
"Your brain is full of Spain
. You've got Spain in your brain
, Mr. Griiirch. Spain is full of spiders. You've got thirty-NINE AND A HALF
spiders in your brain. I wouldn't touch you. [Musical sting]
You've got shit in your anus, Mr. Griiirch. [Camera zooms in to the Grirch's lower torso, x-ray revealing a pile of excrement and a sign next to it saying "Anus"]
You're a Jew? [The Grirch turns angrily at the camera] NEIN-NEIN-NEIN-NEIN
-AND-A-HALF [The camera zooms to the Grirch's face then cuts to black] Narrator:
The Grirch is not
- The Facial Hair Fiasco
- The entire scene with Handicapped Grandpa Weekly. Immediately followed with:
Elderly Lady: Oh dear, I'm old. Penis.
- "If we don't get this mustache cream soon, everything's gonna be just fine."
- Pizza Steve ordering all black people to leave the store - followed by a male's restroom figure and a smiling stock photo of a black family floating out of the front of Mart Mart to somber music.
- Before that, Pizza Steve shouts "MOVE IT PIECE OF SHIT!" at a store employee.
- The ending, taking "Aoi No Uta" and sentence mixing it.
Go eat Taco Bell, la le lu
It's good, shimasu
- Green Eggs and Eggs
- "Do you like green eggs and EGGS?"
- "Would you fuck a goat?" "Yes."
- When the guy finally tries the food.
- Yogi Bear tlt uolliaC
- This exchange after the Ringmaster whips Yogi:
Ringmaster: "That's lesson two; obesity!"
Yogi: "That one I'll remember, Sir!"
Ringmaster: "That's it, Yogi! Back and forth with a chair!"
Yogi: "What chair?"
- The Lion biting Yogi's head off, as well as the in-universe reaction to it.
Boo-Boo: "I'll miss Yogi, he's my best friend."
- Steven Jewniverse
- "Ah, you're not fun anymore! This is why we never fuck anymore!"
- The entire song about Steven's desire to see a lady's genitals.
- Meta bit of funny: Since Steven dies at the end of the poop, one user asked Dikekike if he ever actually did see a vagina. His response:
Before he died his entire life flashed before his eyes, which included the moment he came out of his mom's vagina. So yes.
- Snively Needs 6 Cotter Pins to Enchant His Belt
- "Little news bulletin, Robotnik! Read the old lips; 'Fuck you, cocksucker!'"
- This exchange:
Bunnie: "Sally, did y'all figure out why these silly throwin' arms keep breakin'?"
Sally and Rotor: "The cock!"
Rotor: "They're made of wood!"
Sally: "So, when we increase our pussy weight, they break!"
Rotor: "They're made of wood!"
- Sonic showing Tails a picture of John Goodman, followed by this exchange:
Tails: "You miss Uncle Chuck?"
Sonic: "I don't know."
- This gem during the closing credits:
Singers: Look out, when he storms through, Sonic the naked hedgehog! Aaaah!"
- Five Nights at a Pizza Hut in the Garage
- Shrek stalking his way through the pizzeria in general. Once he enters the office, the guard puts a finger to his lips... before he gets blasted away by Godzilla (still in the lingere from earlier) holding a sign up saying "YOU HUSSY!"
- The guard manages to punch Bonnie away from the door.
- The night guard seeing Foxy run down the hall, and flipping the camera down... just for Foxy to run through the room and slam into the right door. He says "Owie owie!" repeatedly after this.
- When checking the restroom camera, the guard hears Godzilla's roar followed by a toilet flush... then Godzilla comes out of the girl's bathroom holding a sign that reads "I DIDN'T WASH MY HANDS."
- The Old Spice Guy appearing out of nowhere, saying that a new razor is so amazing it will shave off your face, then breaking into a scream before getting cutoff by the 6 AM chime.
- NOTICE OF TERMINATION (you're fired). REASON: Tampering with the Ogre. funnier seeing as the night guard's head was blown off prior.
- Steven Jewniverse Twoniverse
- Friendship is Gic 3: Revenge of the First One
Warrant: "She's my Pinkie Pie! Shit on your face! Ten miles why'd! Taste so good, make a grown man cry - sweet Pinkie Pie!"
(The riff continues to heighten in pitch as the drummer goes insane.)
- "I'm totally Muslim!"
- The Mane Six have a conversation with Princess Celestia:
"We came as fast as we could!" Celestia:
"Thank you. Sssss. Fuck
you all." (Beat
) "Discord. After discovering the Elephants of Harmony, my sister and I combined our powers and rubbed his penis, turning his to stone. Uh-uh-uh-uh-uhh." Rainbow Dash:
"Alright, incest!" Celestia:
"Stop Discord before he thrusts all of us with his penis." Twilight Sparkle:
"We'd be honored to use the Elephants of Harmony again." Celestia: (inserts horn into wall hole, starting up a laugh track in the process)
- The Mane Six go to the hospital...
"Can you believe the new baby is here?" Twilight Sparkle:
"I wonder if it's a baby." Twilight Sparkle: "Nope."
- "Dear Princess Celestia, this week, my very talented friend, Rarity, learned that if you try to fuck a horse in the mouth, you oftentimes end up pleasing yourself."
- Cock Pockets: resistably H!
- The entire Dr. Phil bit. Just... all of it.
"Okay. Well, I'm here with Rick and Denise." (growls)
"Mother-in-law's here. How do you feel about your son-in-law here?" Mother-in-law:
"Well, when I first met Rick..." Dr. Phil:
like men, and he is definitely one of them.
Excited about that?" Rick:
"No." Dr. Phil:
"You do what I want, when I want." Rick:
"Yes." Dr. Phil:
"Just go kill yourself on many occasions, you pathetic whore." Rick:
"Exactly-" Dr. Phil: (to Denise)
"Are you taken, you whore?" Denise:
"No. No." Dr. Phil:
"I just don't think you're being genuine with me! I programmed myself to rage rather than to cry. Instead of crying, anger is just easier, you pathetic crackhead whore.
I hope you get fat. I am done. I am done. I am done with everyone. [bleep]
everyone. We'll be right back."
- The Winter Wrap-up parody:
Rainbow Dash: "Three months of penis and awesome dicks."
Pinkie Pie: "We've kept semen off our hoofsies."
Applejack: "But the penis we've stored in our tiny ass is very hard."
Rarity: "And this one's gay."
- "Don't worry everyone! I've learned everything!"
- "Fuck the police!"
- And now it's time for silly songs with Pinkie.
"I'd hide under my wallet from bisexuals I saw, but Gramma said to deal with it. She said, 'shut the fuck up, Pinkie. Go away.' LOL." Announcer: "And now, here's Bill Engvall!"
- "This is you!" "Celery! Celery! Celery! Celery!"
- "I'm over 72, and I feel 77!"
- "Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, jingle all the BELLS."
- Steven Jewniverse 3: Threeven Jewniverse
- "I've got bad news everyone. I'm Steven.""
- "That day, Garnet learned a valuable lesson: there was no God, and there was Steven."
- Steven converting from Judaism to Christianity because Jesus told him he's going to Hell.