WTF Is...Snuggletruck From wondering where his career has gone to pointing out how little sense the game makes, this video is 10 minutes of hilarity; he also lives up to his moniker as "The Cynical Brit" in this video.
TB, not known for his skill in platformers, plays I Wanna Be the Guy Gaiden as part of his WTF series. It takes TB twenty-four deaths to reach stage one. Not within stage one, but merely selecting stage one.
His bizarre fixation on the fishing boat in the parachute ride in stage one, which he describes in more and more diabolical terms as he gets angry (first it's a fishing boat, then a whaling ship, then a floating meth lab staffed by hateful diseased orphans who eat diseased puppies, then it's "the spawn of Satan in boat form," then "orphan Satan with diseases in boat form")
"This game is a metaphor for the harsh mistress of LIFE! The painful, agonizing GRIND into old age and eventual DEMISE with no one on your bedside to care for your passing! It's what this is! It represents that!"
"I Wanna Be the Guy Gaiden, ladies and gentlemen. The download link is in the video description. SUFFER LIKE TB DID!"
One of the tags was "THISFUCKINGGAMEWHY", however, this happened to just be part of an experiment to see whether or not his fans were smart enough to dislike the episode for being exaggerated and dumb. Said experiment failed.
Looks like he's changed the tags now. Now they read "This video is terrible why are you watching it"
TB: This story is turning itself into a giant fan-fiction already, and I hate it! So very much...
Also, the game begins with Dodger being severely weakened by tuberculosis, also known as... TB.
TB: So already Dodger is almost dead thanks to TB. Big surprise.
And Jesse, naturally, commented on it.
Jesse: It happened! I was there!
At around the 44:10 mark of a joint "WTF Is..." of SimCity (2013) with Genna, TotalBiscuit's power plant goes into meltdown. The reason? Education has fallen to the point where workers could not successfully keep the plant going. Riffing followed, along with angry responses when it was revealed the fallout was drifting in the direction of Genna's city.
A lot of the little side conversations between Genna and John are funny too. Such as the beginning, where TotalBiscuit introduces someone very dear to him, who is also incredibly violent and very condescending at times. Genna guesses it's the chinchilla.
TB: "What? No, the chinchilla likes me. More than you, the chinchilla bites you, she doesn't like you at all. She senses something within you, a darkness brewing inside."
The meltdown is even funnier if you notice that it's been foreshadowed half an hour before the actual meltdown, by a message that said "Nuclear Power Plant staffed by idiots." no less.
For that matter, any time he interrupts himself to comment on something that's appeared on the screen; there's a very similar bit at the beginning of The War Z where he makes a remark about a bad texture.
TB: (...) It's like punching a seal, you just wouldn't do that, it doesn't feel right... But in this case, the seal isn't an innocent fluffy sea creature, the seal is a dick! The seal stole your packed lunch, the seal made a pass at your girlfriend, and what's worse is that it seems your girlfriend was actually into it. That's terrible! You've had three years of happy relationships and this frickin' asshole seal comes along makes a pass and suddenly you're not sure anymore, you're not sure if your relationship was built on solid ground, and it's all because of this asshole seal! You wanna punch it, you wanna punch it so hard! And I usually like seals! But this seal, this seal is a dick! That's one of the best ways I can describe it.
His "WTF is Far Cry 3: Blood Dragon" video is funny all on its own, but several particularly good moments include:
His ideas of ways other games could embrace the silly standalone nature of Blood Dragon, in particular the idea of Assassin's CreedPower Rangers.
The reveal that there is a button specifically for flipping people off. The video ends with TotalBiscuit repeatedly flipping off a passing patrol boat.
At one point, he runs around without any trousers, frustrated and amused by the lack of ease in finding pants.
His video on Castle Miner Z starts with him getting an error saying his computer didn't have enough memory available on the main menu, coupled with a screenshot of his system specs showing he has 32 gigabytes of RAM.
In WTF Is Octodad: Dadliest Catch, when he spots that the products on sale in the supermarket include "Total Biscuits".
His flat refusal to go along with the plot in Wtf Am I Doing...Portal 2.
And he keeps railing on Wheatley's Southerner accent.
This comment on rage meters from WTF Is Sledgehammer / Gear Grinder.
TB: "Don't know what it is about games using the term "rage" as some kind of usable resource. Rage is not a resource, trust me... unless, of course, you happen to be working for Machinima."
Certain moments in his WTF Is... - UnEpic video, like the one where he tries to justify falling for a trap that pretty much is an idiot test.
TB: "It was shiny. I can't help if I've been trained to do these things, I've been a gamer for the last God knows how many years ... what, 23 years? I am programmed to pick up shiny."
His "WTF is Day One: Garry's Incident" in it's entirety.
"Behold! The worst textured panther in the history of video games!"
And at the end, he says he wants to find the developer of the game and put them on a similar island.
The WTF is "Guise Of The Wolf" video, all of it.
In WTF Is... Watch Dogs, while he's doing a Fixer Contract early in the video, he comes across a parked car he can steal so he can get to the next objective of said contract and tries to enter the right. Only to remember that the game isn't set in the UK and that the steering wheel is on the left.
He then runs away with this by driving into oncoming traffic, all the while commenting on how all American motorists drive on the wrong side of the road.
in his WTF is... of Sniper Elite III, TB shoots a soldier right in view his buddy, and the buddy - with the AI unaware where the shot is coming from, and thus, unaware of where to take cover, starts spinning in circles.
TB, imitating a german accent: "Oh no! wat's going on?! kwick! Do the location danz!"
In his video for Shovel Knight, at the very beginning of a level, TB successfully makes a jump across a pit... only to run into the enemy on the other side, which knocks him back into the pit.
TB: Wow. I am a moron. (laughs) That was dreadful.
On his next try, he makes the jump and kills the enemy... only to slip off and fall into the next pit.
TB: So, what have you— COME ON! (snickers) Get your head together! I know I've had a bad day, but this is terrible. This is ridiculous. Come on.
In the Terraria collab, Jesse being the whitest guy TB knows:
Jesse: I got jumps now! I got jumps. Is that what the kids say? "I got the jumps"? TB: "I got—" no, that sounds like a euphemism for Parkinson's Disease.
Plus part 11, when during the blood moon, TB and Jesse kill a Top Hat Zombie, hoping to gain its hat for TB, something he desperately wants. TB dies in the attempt, and Jesse steals the hat as TB wonders where it's gone... Until it appears on Jesse's head. Hilarity Ensues.
Made even funnier if you noticed that Jesse wore the hat on the way there, and was dropping hints that he had the hat. TotalBiscuit still failed to notice, until Jesse took out a torch allowing him to actually see him.
In a later episode (also involving a floating island, but a different one), Jesse tries to kill TB with fall damage. When TB explains that he no longer takes fall damage (due to a lucky horseshoe), Jesse forces him to demonstrate this. By mining the blocks directly underneath TB. Whilst standing on the exact same spot. TB didn't take fall damage, but Jesse was not as lucky.
In part 22, in a striking example of them actually aiding each other, TB finds a wooden boomerang and helpfully tosses it to Jesse... accidentally throwing it down the 1500+ ft. deep hellevator.
TB: We really should put guard-rails on that thing.
In Part 7, TB tries to sing the Terraria background music, but ends up singing a completely different song:
TotalBiscuit: Wait a minute, that's Nyan Cat. AH! It's infected my head!
Also, when Jesse tried to kill TB with dynamite and blew himself up instead:
TotalBiscuit: So what was in that chest? Jesse: Oh just a bunch of this stuff. *throws dynamite at TB* TotalBiscuit: Oh, dynamite ... Wait, what?! *TB steps aside, but Jesse doesn't, followed by a big BOOM*
Similar incident to the above, still involving an explosion, with Jesse and TB trying to clear out the cacti in a desert biomenote Earlier versions had it that running past cacti would hurt the player. While Jesse's busy throwing bombs, TB quickly sets up a box around him, trapping him in with a bomb he just threw. However, TB didn't predict that he'd get trapped in the box too due to a glitch. There's a brief second of both of them panicking before the bomb goes off—which somehow kills only Jesse.
First one, TB has just returned from the Jungle area, with 2 Life Hearts for Jesse (as TB has used more already). TB proclaims his wonderful bounty, then accidentally uses one on himself.
Second one is when he places down the other fruits of their jungle exploits, in which Jesse died many, many times: two statues. Jesse becomes quite upset. And almost begins to sound like Cave Johnson from Portal.
TB repeatedly killing Jesse as punishment for his ineptitude by placing blocks in the hellevator. Never gets old.
At the very end of this video. Jesse and TB had been spending the past 4 episodes trying to find Moonglow in a very small section of their jungle separated by corruption from the rest of it (they assume that it's the only part of their jungle left), and when Jesse looks through their chests for useful materials, he finds that they have a large stock of Moonglow on hand. Jesse is naturally upset, while TB bursts out in laughter, probably due to disbelief.
A fan put together a montage of the many, many, many deaths of Jesse and TB during the first Terraria series.
The same fan did it for The Next World Generationhere.
In the Dead Rising 2: Off the Record collab, Jesse puts on the flattering crop top and short shorts ensemble and shows it off to TB. TB pauses, goes silent, and turns the camera around for a bit—before he turns around and smacks Jesse in the face with a lead pipe.
Ironically, that exact same outfit was previously worn by TB in his "WTF is..." of the title to emphasize the fun and sillyness he personally enjoyed. When Jesse starts prancing about and showing off the outfit to TB, TB said that there was something wrong with him.
One example would be when they summoned meteor shower for the first time, not knowing what was going to happen and the subsequent panicking.
Simon:(after being told he is going to be the bait and walking up to the giant worm boss) "Hello. Nice to meet you worm! How are you doing? How are you this time of year? Are you well? Have you thought of letting Jesus into you-AAAHH!"
The Yogscast and TotalBiscuit ruin Trine 2: Part 2. (Only seen on their YouTube Re-upload, and not on the livestream itself, because they use Lewis Brindley's recording of the event and not TB's which is the YouTube video.) When they begin, Lewis and Simon Lane tab out to read the multitudes of Donors for their charity, leaving TB with 8 minutes of air-time with Lewis and Simon's characters (the Thief and Knight) standing there. TB (Wizard) passes the time by pushing Simon (Knight) all the way under a leaf ledge, collecting boxes and rocks and beehives in the immediate area to literally bury Simon in junk and his own conjured boxes, once in a while commenting with the other two to keep suspicion down. When he's done, in-game he types in 'Simon's New House' and for the rest of the unsupervised minutes, he makes his character 'dance' while waiting for them to come back. Hilarity Ensues when they find out, complete with Lampshade Hanging and Ironic Echo from their Magicka days (Hello, do you like bees?).
His Christmas album, featuring such hits as Mock The Fools, Hark The Wrathbabies, and God Rest Ye Merry Ghostcrawler.
His reaction to being able to push an already suicidal man off a building in DC Universe Online.
Part 1 of his Secret Worldlivestream has him selecting a character and giving him ridiculous facial hair and a poncho, before, after discussing it on the live chat with viewers, entering the name "Pedro "Poncho" Grande", which causes him to burst out laughing and proclaim:
TB: Congratulations guys, we are racists.
Followed quickly by two more moments:
The first is when he calls in his wife to show her the creation, and she comments that he looks more like a Pablo than a Pedro because his moustache is too small.
And then, when he goes to enter the character, finds that there is already a character in existence with the nickname Poncho.
His livestreaming of Black Mesa: Source. It helps that's he has watched Freeman's Mind before
During the SimCity livestream about an hour into playing Genna (Who has apparently been locked in her room for three days playing the game) comes in and they start bickering over his city, everything he's done wrong, his justifications for doing it why he is, and starts directing him on what to do.
TotalBiscuit: They shop at the gas station—I have literally developed a terrible town. Genna: Yes! The commercial need to be in the middle. You have done this completely wrong, and I'm afraid that you have failed the game, and if you dare to give the guys who developed this a bad review I'm afraid I'm going to have to kick your ass! *TB starts laughing* Genna: I'm just waiting for Godzilla to come up here and ruin everything for you! And he will! He will! He destroyed my city twice!
During his Grudge match round 1 of Mechwarrior tactics TB did not tell Angry Joe the cap point limit. Que Joe's lance filled with 4 assult mechs compared to TB's 1 light 1 medium 1 heavy and 1 assault mech. TB's reaction is hilarious.
His playing of Long Live the Queen in preparation for his WTF is...? of the game. It comes in two parts and the first sentence uttered sets the mood for the two videos, and the exchange between he and Genna sells it.
TotalBiscuit: ...What thefuckis this? *Genna laughs* You wa—What is it? Why are y—Why am I playing this? Genna: Because you will be the prettiest, prettiest princess! TB: They probably can't even hear you from there. You're going to have to get a bit closer. Genna: TotalBiscuit, would you like to be the prettiest, prettiest princess? TB: Not in any way. Genna: But you get to wear a nice dress! TB: It's anime fanservice bullshit, look at this thing. Genna:Card Captor Sakura! TB: It-it-it's fucking terrible, I mean that is—that is not a good title screen. That is not a good title screen for anyone over the age of about fourteen. ... TB: See where our marriage has gone to? You've got me playing this anime bullshit. Genna: You play a lot of anime bullshit. TB:No I don't! What was the last anime bullshit I played? Genna: Well I wouldn't exactly call Persona bullshit, but you did play it. TB:Thaaaaat doesn't count. Genna: But Teddy! TB:No. Genna: Teddy! TB: Teddy is infinitely better that this! Look at this crap!
His other "Let's NOT Play" videos are also hilarious (Need for Speed Rivals' terrible PC port and Deus Ex: The Fall)
TB's Sims 4 livestream, which basically consisted of him trolling his wife (playing alongside him) for 4 hours. Part 1 here with the other 2 parts also available on Genna's channel. The entire thing has to be seen to be believed.
After figuring his original character name was too... obscene, he changes it to a more family friendly one: FlockoffFeatherface. However, there isn't enough space to put the last name in, so it becomes Flockoff Fthrface
TB voicing a character who's introduced with a very long, hard to pronounce name.
"I am called Anime Bullshit. I am the owner of the Anime Bullshit Cafe."
His early look at Outlast where he talks about the revitalisation of Survival Horror as a genre thanks to games like Amnesia: The Dark Descent and Slender. About 6:30 minutes in he goes on about the version of Outlast being played is a demo, and so the developers will likely have compressed everything. Now, TB doesn't like horror games because of them being.. well.. Horror Games. So his growing realisation that since he hasn't walked into a Jump Scare yet, he probably soon will, unnerves him even more.
TotalBiscuit: I mean so far the game has done a really good job of not throwing a lot of jump scares at me - and that worries me even more. Heh, it's like if you — * Goes to open door* TotalBiscuit: —blow your load too quickly with jumpscares. * Door opens, revealing a Jump Scare complete with flashy lights and swinging guy.* TotalBiscuit:AAAAAHJESUS CRIST! *heavy breath* FUCK! I hate you so much right now! Goddammit!
He also used Mad Bomber earlier in the same video, which also backfired, although not quite as spectacular.
In Lord of the Gimmicks, he decides to roll with a gimmick deck that only has cards with random effects. He plays an Alarm-O-Bot (a minion that summons another minion from your hand for free if it survives the enemy's next turn). He has an Alarm-O-Bot in his hand and a Ysera, and top decks a Ragnaros the Firelord... and yet the Alarm-O-Bot on the field plays his second Alarm-O-Bot from his hand.
To elaborate: four Lorewalker Chos note when a spell is cast, place a copy of that spell in the opponent's hand, plus bananas, Hilarity Ensues. Even better is when they managed to fill both players' hands with The Coinnote Given only to the Second Turn Player once per game as a means of evening gameplay.
In his Too Many Traps! 2 Gimmick video, TB comes perilously close to winning a game when an opposing Shaman decides to charge him with a Rockbiter buffed Al-Alakir. This attack triggers TB's Misdirection secret, but before it can be finished - it triggers his Freezing Trap as well. Thus Al-Alakir is returned to the hand before he inflicts any damage! TB's dismay must be heard to be believed.The Shaman then quit the game.
In the same video, the enemy Mage was at 3 health and TB had a King Crushnote 8/8 with Charge, basically meaning he will win next turn. The mage then plays a Hogger and two Mirror Images, giving the Mage five tauntsnote Taunt prevents the opposing player from attacking anything that doesn't have Taunt. Normally, a player can ignore an opponent's creatures to attack the opponent directly; Taunt prevents this
First match with TB's Healing to Death gimmick deck. He plays a Lightspawnnote 0/5, whose attack power is always equal to his health, and the following turn puts Divine Spiritnote Doubles the health of target creature on it, giving him a 10/10 creature. What his opponent does has to be seen to be believed. They play 2 Divine Spirit cards... on TB's Lightspawn, making it a 40/40.
His "Demonologist" Deck video. It's a Warlock deck filled to the brim with demons and demon affecting spells. He explains early on in the video that the deck sucks due to the fact that most of the demon cards do not synergize with each other and can rapidly lead to suicide. As expected, throughout the video, he loses most matches, except the first. The real funny part is when he manages to snatch defeat from the jaws of victory in the last match.
The ending of TB and Crendor's Legendary Deck Duel Part 1. TB gets whittled down to 4 health, but manages to play 2 Yseras with taunt to claw back his chance of victory. Then, he plays "Ysera Awakens" in order to clear Crendor's monsters off the field... forgetting that it will cause 5 damage to him, and costing him the match.
TB getting so mad on twitter that his wife decides to change his twitter password to stop him from raging. The next 10 minutes consisted of twitter banter between him and his wife as he keeps finding ways to access his twitter with her promptly disabling said access, and eventually taking over his twitter temporarily.
Genna Bain: *Whistles* Just another Thursday... changing @TotalBiscuit's twitter password. TotalBiscuit: Hah, @GennaBain It won't work, I have access to the API! THE APIIIIII!!!!!! Genna Bain: omg, I have access to the INTERNET. *Disconnects @TotalBiscuit's internet cable* Genna Bain: Apparently he's off to get his phone now. Since I pay the bill... hrmmm I guess I could just disconnect it too huh? TotalBiscuit: Bah, she has pulled my internet cord. Little does she know about my 4G tethering! Genna Bain: @TotalBiscuit I know about your 4G tethering because I bought that phone you dolt. Knowledge, use it. Genna Bain: Oh and btw @TotalBiscuit those API settings? Yeah, I revoked them and changed your password. Now behave before I let the fanbois eat you! TotalBiscuit: Hello everyone. Cynical wife @GennaBain here. I have banned my husband from twitter temporarily because kittens and rainbows. That is all. TotalBiscuit: Halp halp! I'm trapped in another dimension. It is warm here and moderately sunny. #freetb
Here's the sequel to that: Genna, on her way out to dinner, when she overhears TB talking about her and making a snide remark. She responds by hotly replying...live on the TGS Podcast.
TotalBiscuit:We're making the worst TGS content ever made today.
TB devolved into a Pungeon Master on Twitter and during a Podcast to promote his upcoming PC Burger joint. The Twitter postings can be seen here.◊ The livestream of the podcast had actually crashed during the episode due to Twitch errors, but TB was blamed for killing the stream with his horrible PC puns.
The entirety of the parody of Microsoft's E3 conference.
TotalBiscuit: I have more Youtube money than God, I can afford these games! Shut up!
His daily roundup videos during Pax Prime 2013. Each video has him with a red panda plush in a different place (on the table, in his lap, behind his head). By day 4, TB is gone from the chair, with the red panda in his place wearing all his passes and badges. He ends the video with "I'm going to bed," as the camera slowly pans over to him recording, mic in hand, while playing Hearthstone on his laptop.
Genna's intrusions during TB's live recordings in general. The first time she does it, she uses a crocodile puppet to hand him water while he's discussing Torchlight 2. TB plays it off as the pet system at work in his house. On a Q&A video, a rare instance of a facecam, she slowly crept in with a giant red panda plush.
She used the red panda again in a recent podcast because Dodger was playing with her fox plush. TB was not happy.
On an episode of the Co-Optional Podcast with guest host boogie2988, the hosts had started derailing into their jobs before becoming fulltime Youtube content creators. Boogie describes an incident when he was an on-call emergency responder to a college rec center and someone had degloved their hand after trying to dunk a basketball. Genna came in with the red panda and asked them to stop, as well as mutual friend and employee Chris "Zooc" Baltoc. After he said he was stopping, they for some reason refused to leave.
TotalBiscuit: Why are you all here? Get out of my office!
On twitter: "I can't really understand people that don't constantly take the piss out of their friends. What's the point in having them otherwise?"
TB narrates the opening free-for-all of the Polaris Chivalry: Deadliest Warrior tournament as though it's a history documentary (namely; one in the style of the Deadliest Warrior TV show). With plenty of smack talk and snarking, obviously.
TB's Dota 2 livestreams are usually very calm and relaxed environment, but if he gets involved in a large fight, he tends to go into a panic. It doesn't help that he plays very late at night, keeping his wife awake with his inane statements. This also happened on a charity livestream with Pyrion Flax, to which Flax calmly responded that he think TB had a panic attack.
His music selection is randomized, and either plays things which are oddly appropriate for the moment in-game or flat-out strange.
Ok, so you're an indie dev... TB sings a parody song about indie game developers set to the tune and gist of Shania Twain's That Don't Impress Me Much. Just listen.