- The Ted Mosby Is A Jerk song, but especially this:
"I know the truth about you, Ted Mosby. You look, and act, and talk like a real human being, but I know what you really are. You're a Cylon. And your only goal is total annihilation of the entire human race. I talked to my best friend, Dr. Baltar, and he told me, so don't tell me that you love me. Don't tell me that you have feelings, you can't have feelings. You're a frakking toaster!"
- "Classic Schmosby Wedding Meltdown (Remix)"
- In the preview for season seven, Barney singing a part of Deee-Lite's Groove is in the Heart.
- The Noodle Incident in "The Naked Truth" - "BARNELL!!"
- Beercules. Especially Garrison Cootes's casual acknowledgement that yes, Marshall has a "huge snake", but needs to put on some pants.
- The reveal that Marshall's old, constantly drunk, college buddy is a surgeon.
- From "Ducky Tie":
Lily: This whole thing stinks, I tells ya! It stinks!
: Lily, are you really suggesting that Barney spent six months commuting back and forth to Hoboken to learn a signature cooking style of a restaurant he doesn't even like so he could win a bet he hadn't even made yet? (beat
) Yeah, the whole thing stinks.
Lily: I am going to have to walk this earth knowing that Barney has touched my boobs.
Robin: Yeah it stays with you. His email reminders don't help.
- Patrice in "The Stinson Missile Crisis" when Barney is sending Nora flowers, balloons and chocolate. And when Barney sings to Nora, Robin's sudden outburst:
Patrice: He's so dreamy!
Robin: NOBODY ASKED YOU PATRICE!!
- From "The Best Man", we have CLASSIC SCHMOSBY!
- In "Noretta," Barney is convinced that he's finally going to get to have sex with Nora because she's mentioned he's getting a special treat that night. He finds out she's talking about ice skating, seems bummed, and then...
Nora: [whispers into his ear] And after that we're going to shag.
Barney: [leaps out of his seat] WE'RE GOING ICE SKATING EVERYBODY!
- Despite the overall sadness that is Symphony of Illumination, everyone's attempts to cheer Robin up in both her fantasy and real life are funny and sweet. Particularly Barney's failure at telling her jokes and then suddenly yelling "Pratfall!" and immediately falling over a seat of the booth.
- Barney's friend "Insane" Dwayne got a girl (whom he would eventually marry) to go home with him using only one word, "Boner".
- Disaster Averted is one of the funniest episodes they have ever done. Barney trying to get out of wearing the ducky-tie, Marshall's fear that whenever he goes anywhere he will be mauled by a bear. The random French interlude...
- How I Met Your Barney.
- Drunk!Ted playing poker with Stripper Lily and New Marshall's buddies. Actually, pretty much every millisecond of Drunk!Ted in "46 Minutes" is a CMOF.
Ted: "I was totally bluffing - I don't even have enough cards!"
New Marshall: I wonder why Dr. Kevin doesn't recognize me from all those sessions three years ago?
Kevin: Is that the guy who stabbed all those prison guards?
- Barney's film about trying to convince Marshall and Lily to find out the sex of their baby was written and produced by him and directed by McG.
- Ted's mental freakout while lying in bed after he asks Robin if she wants to get back together in "No Pressure". He comes up with the ridiculous excuse that he went insane due to lyme disease he got while camping, which Robin didn't know about because he goes camping in secret. Josh Radnor's facial expressions during the inner monologue are absolutely side-splitting, as is the moment when he decides to just tell Robin to forget he said anything, but when he gets up to find her at his door, he blurts out "I GO CAMPING IN SECRET!" just before Robin shoves her tongue down his throat.
- She says they need to talk about it, saying that "if there's any more surprises, I'm gonna hit someone!" This is immediately followed by Patrice showing up and Ted just barely catching Robin's arm before she punches Patrice.
- Robin hysterically screaming at Patrice, her arch-enemy from work.
- When Lily has to leave Barney alone at her house and warns him to stay out of trouble, Future!Ted plays the scene from both Lily and Barney's points of view:
Lily's POV: "While I'm gone, don't go snooping around in our stuff. I know you think we have a sex tape hidden somewhere, so I'll save you the trouble: we don't. Goodbye."
Barney's POV: *in which everything in his line of sight is fogged out except for Lily's breasts* "Wa-wa-wa-wa-wa-wa-wa-wa-wa-we have a sex tape hidden somewhere-wa-wa-wa-wa-wa-wa-wa-wa-wa-wa-wa!"
- Also, Lily and Marshall's attempts to respectively persuade and dissuade Barney from watching their sex tape.
- In "Karma", Ted keeps trying to find hobbies to get over Robin. Turning the now-empty room into a smokehouse goes without incident, the chair he builds falls out from under him while he's talking to Barney, and when he tries pottery, he lobs a lump of clay onto a spinning pottery wheel only for it to shoot off and shatter the window.
- The Lampshade Hanging at the end of "The Broath." Especially considering who he's talking to.
Ted: Well, that's the entire story of me and Robin, 2005 to the present. What do you think?
Ned: I think your stories are way too long dude.
Martin: I feel bad for your future kids.
- Also the Gregorian chants: "Brooo, Broooooo, Bro-o-o-o-o"
- "Trilogy Time", when past Ted and Marshall (as college students) mention supply and demand, while goofing off. Ted realizes that they just used terms from economics, thinking they'll ace their finals. What does Future Ted reveal? "We both got zeros."
- The guy across the street having a mental breakdown, trying to figure out why the "Well-Dressed Blonde Man" (Barney) comes outside everyday at 8pm, walks exactly 7 paces and smiles... cut to the bar, where we find out that Quinn doesn't allow Barney to fart in his apartment anymore.
- Barney & Robin teasing Marshall & Lily about the sex of their baby.
! Is the feelgood comedy of 1988.
- Ted, in a desperate attempt to not think about Robin, goes on a date with a girl. When the girl claims her ex, Wayne, had no manners, Ted immediately links it to Wayne Manor, which in inevitably linked to Batman and Robin.
- High Ted and Marshall's epic, hour long quest to get nachos for Lily. Everything from the nacho line to the guitar guy. Except, they were gone less than two minutes, and in the span of those two minutes, they ended up in the "nacho" (read: women's bathroom) line four times, the guitar guy was a cardboard cutout (It's a sign, bro) that Ted knocked over (Heart attack), and Ted pulled the nachos out of the garbage. Arguably, the abridged version was even funnier.
- Marshall and Barney have their phones turned off for one hour to stop them worrying about everything. Lily goes into labour during this hour. Oops. Her messages to Marshall's phone get more panicked until...
If you're trying to get back at me, you have chosen a WILDLY INAPPROPRIATE WAY OF DOING SO!
- From "Disaster Averted":
- After Marshall goes to the bathroom, Barney starts to tell that Lily confessed humping Barney after Barney was humping Marshall's mom, which is really a lie so Barney can piss Marshall off enough to make him exchange his last slap for the Ducky Tie.
Lily: Since this might be the end, I gotta confess something. Can I?
Barney: Might as well.
Lily: Barney and I have been doing the Wild thing. Long time, except a brief period during last year when he was shagging Marshall's mom. But likely, three ways were on the menu, so...
(Back to reality)
Robin: Marshall, you know she didn't say any of that, right?
Marshall: (Ready to slap Barney) I know!! But I just wanna slap him so bad! But that tie is so stupid. But the slap would feel so good. But he hates that tie so much.
Kevin: Perhaps I can help. Marshall, ask yourself this question. Why today? He hasn't say anything about that tie for weeks, and yet suddenly today, he can't wear it another second? Now there's a reason. He's got something coming up. Somewhere where you're on display. Vulnerable. Exposed. It's not work related. No, this is relationship stuff. You're trying to impress someone. In the lie you told, you said you were being chased by two goons, so it's two people. A couple, perhaps. You're meeting Nora's parents tomorrow!
Barney: Wroooong!! Wrong, wrong, wrong, wrong, wrong! It's in two days and I really want them to like me!!!
(Ted and Kevin high five)
- "Now We're Even" has this hilarious lampshading of Ted's tendency towards Another Story for Another Time.
Security Guard: This isn't my whole life/ I'm in a band. And we're gonna make it.
Ted: And, kids, they did make it. But I'll get to that later. ...You know what, I'm probably not going to get to that later. They had one song, it didn't suck, the end.
- It's an espeically well-timed lampshading, since the episode itself is following up on a previous instance of Ted promising to get to something later.
- From "The Magician's Code, Part 2" - Ted mentions the first thing that'll go through his kids heads the first time they see their best friend holding their child. Cut to Marshall and Ted in college.
Marshall: [finishes stapling up a poster] [looks at the staplegun] I wonder how much this would hurt. [staples himself in the bicep] AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA-
Future Ted: That guy's a dad.
- Ted meets Victoria at the bar, trying to subtly find out if she's still engaged or not. She shows up...in a wedding dress.
Ted: So, what'll you order?
Victoria: Oh, just black coffee.
Ted: I like it that way too.
Victoria: Yeah, it just tastes better to me.
- Barney's kick-ass magic trick that he uses to propose to Quinn. He pulls out a sword. Mind you he is doing this in the security office of an airport.
Security Guard: How did you get that past the x-ray machine?
- The "Puzzles" theme song because a hundred times funnier when you realize that Ted and Barney took the time to write and rehearse this exchange:
Ted: Puzzles is a place where people go to feel like they belong.
Barney: Gonna take advantage of dumb drunk girls.
Ted: No we're not.
Ted: That would be wrong...