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Alex: "I, uh..."
When a character can't bring themselves to properly confess their love, so they either make a statement to similar effect or one that is totally unrelated. The character on the receiving end of the pseudo-confession usually understands what they mean, often responding with something along the lines of "I [first character's statement] too."
Sometimes a subtrope of Emotionally Tongue Tied. May be related to Cannot Spit It Out.
Examples:
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Advertisements
- A recent advertisement for Bud Light has a man with trouble spitting out "I love you" to his ladyfriend but has no such problems when it comes to his beer.
Anime and Manga
- G Gundam: Domon Kasshu. Then again, when Domon DOES spit it out in the middle of an "I Know You're In There Somewhere" Fight to the Brainwashed Rain, it's BOTH a Crowning Moment of Awesome and a Crowning Moment of Heartwarming. And it freaking saves the world.
- And let's not forget Garrod Ran from After War Gundam X, who's so scared of being rejected by the Barrier Maiden he has a crush on (since poor Tiffa's been treated like an object for most of her life) that he can't bring himself to spit it out, since he thinks he'll be no better than her previous abusive caretakers.
- School Rumble. Poor Tenma uses up an entire scroll trying to tell Karasuma she likes him, but never quite gets it out.
- She actually got it out. The problem is she forgot to sign it.
- Actually, the problem isn't as much not being able to spit it out as unrelated circumstances preventing them from spitting it out. This is how Tenma herself remains oblivious of Harima's feelings, for example (going so far as to misinterpret it when he actually spat it out to her).
- In the Fullmetal Alchemist manga, even in the very last chapter, some people still can't get over their chronic Cannot Spit It Out disorder.
- Of course, Winry's response is no less awkward. She first says that she'll give Ed all of her life, but then decides that's too much, and eventually settles on 85%. Yeah, it's adorable.
- In Kodocha, Akito can't say "I love you" about anything. Sana finally realizes he's coming around when he tells her "I don't hate you" in the same way he talks about sushi.
- During the Golden Week vacations of the characters of Hayate the Combat Butler, Kaoru gets a chance to be alone with his crush, Yukiji, and tries to confess to her. He can't finish the statement, and so turns it into a question about her little sister's relationship status. It seems that Yukiji seems to understand what the statement was originally (and 'responds' later in the arc), but her immediate response is to turn to her Bottle Fairy ways and offer him a drink. She then (probably teasingly) asks him what he likes about Hinagiku (the younger sister), as if he had just confessed affection for her instead.
- Dragon Ball Z: Bulma and Vegeta may qualify as well. They blush and fumble with their words, a lot.
Comics
- In Snarfquest, the heroine couldn't quite get out the critical word when parting company with Snarf: "I really, really lu- like you."
Film
- Bad Ass Normal Han Solo: "I know." when Leia says she loves him in The Empire Strikes Back. Classy response. The originally scripted line was "I love you, too," but that sounded too sentimental, so Harrison Ford ad-libbed. There is a rumor Carrie Fisher was so drug-addled she kept blowing her lines, in a scene that was already having technical problems, so the line was in jest out of Ford's exasperation. Except the director loved it, proving...
- And, of course, the Dialogue Reversal in Return Of The Jedi in which Han says "I love you" and Leia replies "I know". Hers was a heartfelt confession at a moment when they might never see each other alive again, his was in response to her indicating to her hidden side-arm when some storm-troopers got the drop on them. Both are awesome.
- Parodied in Diary of a Crazed Mimbanite #4
 ◊ and in this xkcd.
- The Sense and Sensibility movie has Edward say something along the lines of "I would express my feelings, if I could" and Eleanor says that she understands. However, she thinks that he loves Lucy, so she doesn't press; and he thinks she loves Colonel Brandon, so he doesn't press.
- Ghost: "Ditto"
- Brotherly Example: In Brother Bear, after those two moose get in a fight, one is trying to make up to the other. He mentions how he always tells him where the juiciest grazing is because "I love... dew." The other responds, "I love dew, too."
- Mulan has Shang say "You...you fight good."
- During the infamous toilet scene in Lethal Weapon 2, Riggs and Murtaugh share a moment, the dialogue follows thus.
Murtaugh: Riggs?...
Long Pause
Riggs: I know. Come on.
- The Apartment has one of the most classic examples, at the end when Fran and Baxter are playing gin rummy:
Baxter: I love you. You hear what I said, Miss Kubelik? I absolutely adore you.
Fran: [Smiling] Shut up and deal.
- Hocus Pocus had a sweet, semi-example toward the end.
Dani: I love you, jerkface.
Max: I love you too.
- Scott Pilgrim vs. The World: "I'm in lesbians with you." Counts as a subversion, due to Ramona's reaction.
- Happens in Far and Away, after Joseph and Shannon talk about their ideal futures.
Joseph: I pretend I love you.
Shannon: I pretend I love you, too.
Literature
- Chimène to Rodrigue in Le Cid: "Go; I do not hate thee."
- In the last Percy Jackson book, after Percy fumbles through his feelings for several minutes, while Annabeth refuses to help:
Percy:"You are so not making this easy."
Annabeth:"I am never, ever going to make things easy for you, Seaweed Brain. Get used to it."
*She kisses him*.
- At the end of the Temps story "Sortilege and Serendipity" by Brian Stableford, Dr Sweetland tells his assistant Carol that he wouldn't wish his recent adventures on anyone, "especially someone I ... like". She looks at him oddly and replies "I ... like ... you too." Since she's Happily Married, they leave it there.
Live Action TV
Machinima
- Said more then once in Red vs Blue. (emotionally) "I hate you too"
Music
Video Games
Visual Novels
- Despite how she feels being rather obvious, Tohsaka in Fate/stay night never really DOES get around to telling Shirou how she feels. In any route. She admits to liking some of his personality traits (usually to a third party) but when put to it responds to 'I love you' with roughly 'And like you said, I... I also don't hate you.'
- Yo-Jin-Bo has a couple of instances of this, due to the fact that the guys Cannot Spit It Out.
Western Animation
- From Avatar The Last Airbender:
Zuko: You're so beautiful when you hate the world.
Mai: I don't hate you.
Zuko: I don't hate you, too.
- From Tiny Toon Adventures How I Spent My Vacation:
Babs: Oh, Buster, I didn't think that I'd get a chance to tell you...
Buster: Shh! I feel the same way.
- Daniel and Arcee in the Grand Finale of Transformers Generation One. He Can't Spit It Out and she takes mercy on him, simply saying that she feels the same way.
- Futurama has a subversion: Fry assumes this is the case, but:
Bender: I'll kill you!
Fry: I'll kill you too, buddy. I'll kill you too.
Bender: *throttles Fry*
- King of the Hill has a variation on the episode where Peggy finds Bobby is a better homemaker and assumes Hank doesn't need her any more. Hank wins her back by inviting her back home and showing her he cooked dinner for her himself, to a very competent degree. Of course, Hank is so boxed-in emotionally, he has trouble actually saying "I love you" to anyone except his dog.
Hank: I didn't marry you because you can cook or clean for me, Peggy. I married you because... Y'know. ..... The love.
- He managed to say it when he thought he was about to die.
Hank: (hanging on to a pole during a tornado) Peggy, I love you! Oh yeah, I love Bobby and Luanne too, to a lesser extent!
- The trope is played straight in an episode where Jimmy Carter intervenes in the situation and gets Hank and his dad to be increasingly less vague about it. The episode culminates in this trope, and afterward Hank and Cotton even have a good time bashing Jimmy Carter...
Boy I love shooting a nail gun...
I love shooting a nail gun too.
- The best part is that Hank and his dad were fighting because Hank actually blurted out "I love you!" to his boss in front of everyone when Strickland finally promoted him to full manager. Everyone is aghast, Cotton is furious/disgusted (but won't admit he's actually just jealous of his son's affection), and Strickland ends up taking back the promotion the next day because it was so embarrassing.
- In Family Guy's The Empire Strikes Back parody, Something, Something, Something Dark Side:
Leia/Lois: I love you.
Han/Peter: Fuck off.
- An earlier episode had Meg telling Lois she loves her. Lois just mumble something at the "love" part. Nice mother she is neh?.
- A semi-example from Justice League Unlimited between The Question and Huntress in "Double Date":
Huntress: Then why do all that? Why risk your life for me?
The Question: Because I...(he turns his head, muttering) like you.
- Phineas And Ferb: 'Cause when I say "I love you", she says I gitchi gitchi goo you too!
- The Gargoyles season two finale.
Elisa: You know how I feel about you, right?
Goliath: How ... we both feel. Yes.
Elisa: Good. *kisses Goliath*
Webcomics
Web Original
- In the lonelygirl15 episode "Back Home", Danielbeast, who is recording a message for Bree, says "I still l... care about you."
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