Uninvited Guests is... technically... a BleachFan Fic by Moczo. The story begins with the 11th Division burning down their own barracks and choosing, logically, to move their entire Division to the next building over... the 10th Division barracks. What follows can best be described as Bleach on crack(and possibly several more potent narcotics).The focus of the story is 10th Division Captain Hitsugaya and his (futile) attempts to deal with the situation in a mature manner, even as the 11th Division cheerfully and unintentionally opposes him, his own vice-captain is of limited value, and the universe itself seems to go out of its way to ruin every single aspect of his life. From this fairly simple premise, the situation slowly but surely degrades, eventually dragging down the entire Soul Society and even Hueco Mundo into a whirling spiral of madness. And at least one war. Things frequently happen for no reason other than they would be funny, and neither the characters nor the subject matter are spared; Comedic Sociopathy abounds in the cast, and plot-holes and tropes from the series are mocked and lampshaded without mercy. Despite this, most (keyword 'most') of the cast largely do manage to stay surprisingly close to their established characterization, if that characterization were slowly driven to madness over an extended period.For a quick summary:
1-16 - The Eleventh Division moves into the 10th's barracks after they burn theirs down, a small civil war erupts between the Soul Society because three divisions of shinigami get themselves completely drunk, something helped along by an irresponsible Matsumoto, meanwhile Toshiro attempts to get help from the captains, and it eventually goes into the second arc with the 10th Barracks burning down due to the antics of 11th Division.
17-32 - "Batshit-Crazy" Toshiro, who has gone insane as a result of his inability to deal with the 11th Division, charges into Las Noches with crazy ideas of attacking Aizen and his army, a plan that rather admirably succeeds through the power of insanity, people are forced to have therapy, and there's a rapid switching of sides so often it could make someone's head spin. Meanwhile, back in Soul Society, Soi-Fong borders on Psycho Lesbian behavior as she takes over Soul Society in a bizarre attempt to impress Yoruichi.
33-41 - We couldn't sum this up, even if we tried. All we can say is that Soi-Fong's kingdom is questioned, Aizen appears in the Soul Society plot-armor stolen aplenty, and TV Tropes ultimately takes over.
This story comes highly recommended.Warning: Don't read this in a library, or anywhere else that uncontrollable laughter will get you in trouble.Complete, as of 11/25/2011.
Bad Boss: Yamamoto, for taking "kill your greatest captains" over "listen to reason". Aizen, for... well, being Aizen.
Barehanded Blade Block: After Yachiru turned him into the hero, Hitsugaya is able to automatically do this when Aizen tries stabbing him to both of their shocks. It's so cool that Hitsugaya considers it a good reason to live.
Komamura/Dark Lord Wolfington also uses it against Aizen who comments on it.
"… … … wow. I never realized how annoying that 'barehanded defense' is from the other angle."
Berserk Button: Calling Captain Hitsugaya "shiro-chan" or "Hitsu-playa" is just asking to be killed.
Touch Soi-Fon's stuffed cat, I dare you.
If you flirt with Hitsugaya, Harribel, Rangiku will not be amused.
Best Out of Infinity: Katen Kyokotsu forces Soi Fon and Kyoraku to do this, adding more and more rounds and changing the game each round. Katen Kyokotsu finally ends the game in Soi Fon's favor, much to Kyoraku's chagrin, especially when his swords skewer him for losing.
Black Chapter: Chapter 11 was of noticeably lower quality than the usual high comedic standard the story is held up to, to the point where even the characters themselves seem to know it's better to pretend that it never happened.
Grimmjow: "So, let me get this straight. You are newly-minted Arrancar, freshly Shinigamified." Ikkaku: "Can we think of a different word for that?" Grimmjow: "But you're not just Arrancar. You're Arrancar from the future. And just after being de-masked," Ikkaku: "Much better." Grimmjow: "You were attacked by a strange woman with magical powers who zapped you into the past, and you didn't know about me or your numbers because in the future, all of the Arrancar have taken up… what was it?" Matsumoto: "Cake baking." Grimmjow: "Ah, yes. All the Arrancar have become bakers, and there's no need for us to be numbered or organized into a military unit." Matsumoto: "That's right!" Grimmjow:"… … … and this was REALLY the best story you could think up?"
Book Ends: It begins and ends with Hitsugaya and Nanao doing paperwork together in some form.
"My point is, I'm barely qualified to offer psychological advice to people who don't actually need it. You people… you're all lunatics. I'm just a normal Arrancar. I get up in the morning, I put my pants on one leg at a time, I feast on the souls of the innocent, I go to sleep at night. I'm not equipped to deal with you lunatics!"
Break the Cutie: A comedic example. Shiro-chan undergoes at least three separate nervous breakdowns. Eventually, it becomes an effective battle tactic.
Breaking the Fourth Wall: There have been several indications that the characters are fully aware they are in a work of fiction; Orihime once even puts Hitsugaya in time-out because he breaks the fourth wall too many times in one chapter.
Butt Monkey: Toshiro, obviously, but Ukitake, Ichigo, Byakuya, and even Aizen get turns in the 'spotlight'. Basically, if the narrative focusses on a character for any length of time, something bad is probably about to happen to them. And even the most beset upon characters don't respect the Stealth Forces.
Conservation of Ninjutsu: In full effect for both sides and Lamp Shaded in Chapter 31. The Stealth Forces of the Soul Society aren't respected by anyone. Their leader, Soi Fon, has basically conquered the entire realm single-handedly. One Arrancar is a massive threat to the shinigami; as a group, they're pretty much useless, since all but three of them are insane; one's lazy, one's on the hero's side, and the last's alone in his world.
Now I am the main character, and so long as I follow the narrative flow of the plot properly, there is nothing that can be done to stop me. Go ahead... fight me, kill me. I'll just come back to life three hours later and I'll have learned a new super-move from training in the afterlife or something. Rip my heart out, and I'll grow a new one and get a new Super Form, probably with bigger hair. And that amazing ability to survive you all seem to have? Don't count on that anymore. The inexplicable power to live through any injury because you're needed to advance the universe's plans... you might call it a sort of barrier preventing death that would derail the proper events, a sort of 'plot armor'... well, that's right over here now," Aizen said, gesturing at the Espada. "I mean... you must have noticed, right? What I have here is a quirky ensemble of characters with wildly varying personalities, all centered around me. All of us setting aside our differences to work together? We're the perfect central cast to fulfill the universe's plans. Let's face it, now that we have reality on our side, we're basically invincible.
Death Seeker: In chapter 34, Ukitake finally snaps from all the crap this fic has put him through on top of suffering from tuberculosis. Instead of going into homicidal rage like Toshiro, Ukitake wants to die.
Hitsugaya: So do it, Ichigo. Grow some ultra-strong new Hollow powers, or... I don't know, miraculously discover a Super-Bankai at the last second. Fix that hole in your chest, put on your mask, and kill all these guys. Come on. Do it. For once, I want your superhuman luck to be of benefit to me. Get up, save the day, and prove me wrong.
Disappointed In You: Unohana does this in chapter 35, when she uses her Team Mom status to guilt trip Soi Fon into surrendering her hold on Soul Society.
The Universe is very cruel. Very, very cruel indeed. It kicks you when you're down, then kicks you again. It watches everything you do and tailors its actions to perfectly ruin your life in every way it possibly can, and it does all of this for fun. But sometimes? If you keep playing the game, never give up for more than a few hours at a time, and if you put on a good enough show? It can throw you a bone.
Eldritch Abomination: Byakuya seems to think Yachiru is one, up to and including only referring to her as 'The Yachiru' because simply 'Yachiru' "Makes her sound too... human."
Embarrassing Nickname: Hitsugaya keeps his canon 'shiro-chan' and picks up the even more detestable 'Hitsu-playa'.
Yachiru gave Aizen the nickname 'Nerd'. One of the reasons he destroyed is glasses when he defected was so he would never have to hear the nickname again.
Matsumoto (About Ikkaku's Bankai): "Dude, everybody already knows. Zaraki is the only one who hasn't figured it out. Well, Yachiru probably hasn't either, but that's not saying much."
Evil Is Petty: At one point, Aizen has the revelation that perhaps he was betraying Soul Society, committing many depraved acts and attempting to become a god simply to have an excuse to get away from all the lunatics there. He finds the theory depressingly petty. Though no action seems to be too petty when it comes to Yachiru.
Matsumoto: Now, Captain Hitsugaya is, well... a Captain. So he's faster than we are, no doubt, but we can probably still catch up to him, just because he's going to be in the living world for a long time. I mean, he'd have to find a gate to Hueco Mundo, and I seriously doubt anyone will actually help him get there! Nobody could be THAT completely irresponsible!
Urahara: Well, yes, I suppose I can get you to Hueco Mundo for your top-secret mission.
"The fact that one of our own number has defected, casting doubt on the rest of us?" Ulquiorra guessed. Grimmjow resisted the urge to punch him. Man, he hated that guy.
"The fact that we're… ::yawn::… awake?" Starrk wondered. Grimmjow resisted the urge to kick him. Man, he hated that guy.
"The fact that I haven't eaten in almost two hours? By the way, you guys are probably a lot more edible than you think, so one of you should probably do something about that." Yammy suggested. Grimmjow resisted the urge to stab him. Man, he hated that guy.
For Aizen's case; Aizen is, first, attacked by an insane Toshrio practically out of the blue, and the result of none of the Espadas taking the sword away from him result in all of them being crippled and he himself "wrapped in bandages like a mummy". He runs into Toshrio and company several times, but it really tops itself when, after having seen Szayel break down from his burning lab, snaps himself when Yachiru destroys the throne he had. Not only did Aizen get his Embarrassing Nickname called back, Yachiru also forgot who Aizen was. During all of this, half-to-entire-wings of his base have been obliterated, as well as on fire AND frozen at the same time. Eventually, Aizen, when Toshiro becomes Murphy's Law-Aware, crashes down 30-something floors of his base and falls into a pit of hungry Hollows. Later, when he claims it was "all part of his plan", Gin proceeds to kick him down the same hole. And this is before he stole the Plot Armor...
Ulquiorra, on the other hand, gets to see his base burned and frozen down, gets his arms damaged to a point it's amazing he could lift a sword still, and gets to see the Espadas fail around him and be defeated in one swoop, causing him to turn Not So Stoic and snap at Grimmjow and Nnoitora. And what's his reward? Getting his wings frozen and having a child grab him by the throat and demand to have his name called, as he's the last Arrancar awake, and is thrown to the side like, ironically, trash. As well, the only Arrancar he considered sane was on the hero's side, and everyone around him were "idiotic lunatics".
"DAMMIT, STRIPPING IS NOT GOING TO CHANGE MY MIND!" Hitsugaya roared, blushing furiously and covering his eyes. "It won't?" "NO! YOUR BOOBS ARE NOT AN ALL-PURPOSE PROBLEM SOLVER!" "Really? But they've always worked in the past." Matsumoto said, a little confused.
In Love with Your Carnage: Tia Halibel falls head-over-heels for Hitsugaya after watching him crush her fellow Espada in a madness-fueled rampage, going as far to even defect.
Implausible Deniability: Byakuya and Rukia have rather effectively sheltered themselves from all the madness by simply locking themselves in their home and adamantly refusing to admit that anything is happening outside.
Don't forget Rangiku and her cheese, which somehow works 16+ times!... in the same day!
Or Soi Fon and her throwing everyone in jail for trying to over-throw Yamamoto, and later The Heavenly Empire of Lady Yoruichi.
Ulquiorra's own version;
Ulquiorra shrugged. "Later on, I'll tell him that he was here and that he received proper therapy. That should do the job." "… what?" "If I tell him that he received therapy and got over his fear, he'll believe me." Ulquiorra said. "But… but he won't have!" "No, but if he thinks he did, that's just as good." Ulquiorra said serenely. "You'd be amazed what Yammy can do when he doesn't know what he hasn't done." Grimmjow just opened and closed his mouth a few times. "Aaaaand, now I have a headache."
Jerkass Has a Point: Despite it looking like it would, it's averted by Grimmjow; all he manages to do with his "heroic speech" is piss everyone off.
Kick the Dog: As the Arrancar therapist and Ulquiorra put it, "Just one of those things [Aizen] does to mess with us", i.e everything.
Matsumoto: Wow, maybe you're not a genius after all. Are you not picking up what just happened? YachiruKusajishi is wandering unsupervised through your house.
You could say all the Arrancars felt this when Toshiro snapped in 32.
And then Matsumoto gets one along with Kyoraku. Why? Hitsugaya's dream from chapter 1 came true.
Only Sane Man: Tellingly enough, Matsumoto of all people took up this mantle somewhere around chapter 30, and Soi Fon had this role thrust on her while 'fighting' with Kyoraku. For much of the story, Hitsugaya tried to be one.
On the evil(er) side, Ulquiorra maintained his sanity up until Shiro-chan showed his full fury in Chapter 32. He's also the only Espada sane enough to realize that therapy might be useful... until he threatens to eat the therapist.
Paper-Thin Disguise: Chapter 19 has this for our "Rescue-Toshiro" squad. Grimmjow falls for it until Matsumoto slips a wrong number. Becomes a bigger challenge to figure out if Grimmjow was screwing with them the following scene and knew they were in disguise, or...
Chapter 23 has another one with Jushiro, Shunsui, and Yamamoto. It only works because the Stealth Force are so stupid.
Relax-o-Vision: From chapter 32: "What followed was… ugh. Horrible. It shall not be described here, this is a teen-rated story. [ . . . ] Honestly, just don't think about it, go look at a picture of a bunny or a kitten or something. You'll be happier."
Sarcastic Devotee: You know how Gin in canon is very loyal to Aizen until the Deicide Arc? Yeah, not so much here.
And this even BEFORE the Deicide Arc! And, somehow, they even FORESHADOW something that didn't even happen yet!
Schedule Slip: The fic has been in-progress for roughly three years, with updates slipping from once every few weeks to maybe once a month, which the author is totally aware of. Still, once a month is better than the alternative.
The longest break it has had was a seven month gap between chapters.
Ikkaku lampshades this when he says he feels like this entire thing has been going on for around four years.
Toshiro has Squad 11 move into his barracks, turn it upside down, and then burn it to the ground while he tries (and fails) to find some way to get rid of them while more (read: steaming heaps of) insanity ensues. He then descends into madness to the point that he challenges all of Las Noches, gets chained up, nearly breaks all of his teeth trying to gnaw his way out, snaps out of it only to descend into sanity, almost win before Ichigo shows up, snap again, face ANOTHER rebellion, deal with the return of Aizen... and last we've seen him Tosen has smacked him into a wall.
Ukitake somehow gets blamed for a drunkie rebellion, is thrown in prison twice, is forced to wear women's clothes, is hung upside down and nearly killed by Soi Fon's rebellion, and eventually becomes a Death Seeker.
Aizen somehow finds himself facing a batshit insane Toshiro, having said psycho nearly kill him and the Espada twice before they get him restrained, is driven halfway insane by Yachiru before getting run over by an airborne Bawa Bawa, falls through every floor of Las Noches, is chewed on by a Menos, gets knocked back down there by Gin, and then has his "I planned all of this speech" interrupted by everyone who doesn't buy it. Given how he's now riding Plot Armor, his defeat will hopefully be even worse.
As well as half the Arrancars; After Toshiro causes all of them scars when he snaps and knocks out all of five of them, Grimmjow and Ulquiorra get hurt even more when trying to restrain the insane captain. Szayel, meanwhile, has his whole lab burned and then crushed, rendering him a babbling mess. After therapy, which was useful to only two of the Arrancars in the long run, they are all effortlessly knocked down by Ichigo, and when Ulquiorra DOES kill Ichigo, who doesn't come back, they're all wiped out AGAIN by Toshiro when Rangiku tricks Yammy into saying the Embarrassing Nickname. Even then, during the insanity following, Yammy and Barragan are frozen and wounded, Szayel passes out, Starrk gets up and leaves(refer to Screw This, I'm Outta Here!), and then the three remaining are frozen solid by the Ice-Hydra that chases after them.
"Anyway, I'm probably not going to die. If it were just one Espada, sure, but I really doubt all of them together could coordinate themselves enough to successfully accomplish anything. It's like ninjas, where the fewer ninjas you have the better they are?"
Explanation: Toshiro, after seeing Ulquiorra effortlessly kill Ichigo again, snaps and decides that the universe just hates him. However, he knows that he could go on forever, since not only has he previously scarred the Arrancars(it takes until Ulquiorra does something), but they fail hideously when trying to team up. This is said when Yammy is figuring the answer to "How much wood could a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood", Grimmjow and Nnoitra are fighting, two other Espadas are knocked out, and three Ulquiorra refuses to compromise with.
"But how did you-" "Complete hypnosis." "Wait, but that doesn't-" "COMPLETE HYPNOSIS!"
He has now added Amnesia Dust and the Flashback Alteration Engine to his "explanations".
The Worf Effect: Invoked. Hitsugaya realizes that with Aizen having stolen the hero's role, somebody declaring themself the new Big Bad would make them able to stomp Aizen's side because the hero always jobs to the new villain at first.
World Gone Mad: The Soul Society, at least. Of course, Ulquiorra could argue that Las Noches is there, too.