Characters / Orange Is The New Black Staff

Beware of spoilers. Only spoilers from the current season (4) are whited out.

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M.C.C.

    Jack 

Jack Pearson

Played By: Michael Bryan French

The CEO of MCC.
  • Big Bad: Of Season 3, albeit not in an actively malicious way.
  • Bigger Bad: In Season 4; Piscatella remains the real antagonist, but Jack enables the terrible conditions at Litchfield with his corporate-minded neglect of basic human rights.
  • Corrupt Corporate Executive: Jack isn't exactly corrupt, but he's most certainly callous and amoral.
  • Even Evil Has Loved Ones: He's a callous bastard, sure, but he does love his son in his own somewhat horrible way.
  • Even Evil Has Standards: He fires a woman on the spot for an antisemitic joke, though he lets a poorly-used "Jewish question" statement from his son slide (partly because it was a honest mistake on Danny's part and partly because he admitted it was a poor choice of words).
  • Insane Troll Logic: He seems to at least partially believe that Sophia's placement in SHU is actually protective custody.
  • Oh Crap!: His reaction when Crystal Burset and Danny confront him with evidence of Sophia's mistreatment.
  • Politically Incorrect Villain: He's transparently sexist.
  • White Anglo-Saxon Protestant: Of the stereotypical snobbish, pretentious and out-of-touch variety. He makes Piper's mother look down-to-earth in comparison.

    Danny 

Danny Pearson

Played By: Mike Birbiglia

The Director of Human Activities in the prison, which held most of the same responsibilities as the warden before MCC took over the prison. Pearson received the job due to his father's senior position at MCC and as a result had no real experience or qualifications for his job. One of his first acts was to force Caputo to rush the new hires on the job with inadequate training as a cost-saving measure.
  • Bunny-Ears Lawyer: Subverted. When first introduced he dresses and talks very casually, and often acts like a space cadet. If the viewer guessed he's secretly brilliant since he has a high corporate job despite his unprofessional demeanor, they're wrong; it's later revealed that he's really an unqualified dumbass who has no idea what he's doing, and only got his job through his father.
  • Dumbass Has a Point: He's not the sharpest tool in the shed, but he's not wrong in pointing out that "long term priority" is a contradiction and that it's wrong for Sophia to be in SHU.
  • Heel–Face Turn: When he returns in Season 4, he's become a vocal critic of his father's company.
  • Jerk with a Heart of Gold: He's roundly very disinterested and condescending, even when attempting to be nice in his passive-aggressive Bill Lumbergh way. However it's gradually made more and more apparent that he doesn't enjoy being a corporate tool and his condescension is more due to frustration than anything else, culminating in him quitting his job out of anger as a combination of his father's placating behavior and reluctance to let Sophia out of SHU.
  • Not So Different: For as much as Caputo despises him, he and Pearson have more in common than they realize. They are both under-appreciated middlemen who are blamed for things that actually come from higher up the corporate ladder.
  • Screw This, I'm Out of Here!: Fed up with his father's callous behavior, he quits at the end of Season 3.
  • "Well Done, Son!" Guy: He'd quite like to please his father.

    Linda 

Linda Ferguson

Played By: Beth Dover

An MCC employee that works in purchasing.
  • Bitch in Sheep's Clothing: Linda is a sexy, genial woman but she cares nothing for the prisoners she's meant to care about.
  • Disproportionate Retribution: When Crystal Burset goes to Caputo's house to complain about Sophia's treatment, she pulls a gun on her.
  • In-Series Nickname: Danny calls her "Linda the Sea Witch."
  • Lack of Empathy: She gets bored and annoyed whenever Caputo tries to talk about the suffering and human rights violations inflicted on his inmates. She also tends to make her relationship with Caputo more about her, and when he denies her sex, she pours salt into the sauce that he's making. Late in season 4 it's revealed that she's literally never been inside a prison before, because she didn't see why it would be important.

Administrative Staff

    Fig 

Natalie "Fig" Figueroa

http://static.tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pub/images/4b10576f313aadd8565da650889bdf9e.jpg
"Do what you have to do, or you're the one who gets fucked in the ass."
Played By: Alysia Reiner

"Why is it so hard for you people to understand? You're like babies. "Where's my present?" "Pay attention to me", "Give me things", " "Fix the heat", "Build a gym". I'm not your goddamn mommy. Grow up!"

The corrupt prison assistant warden ranking just below the as-yet-unseen warden. Figueroa claims to be a women's advocate for the prisoners but is generally unconcerned with them and refuses to get involved in their problems. Arrogant and condescending, she puts on a tough facade to disguise her own insecurities and somewhat fragile personality.
  • Affably Evil: Oh boy, does she know how to turn on the charm.
  • The Beard: It is revealed near the end of Season 2 that her husband is having an affair with his male staffer.
  • The Chessmaster
  • Corrupt Corporate Executive: of the rarer government variety. Not only is she embezzling money from Litchfield's budget on herself to buy luxury purses and cars, but she seems to be actively suppressing any information about the various scandals going on in the prison from leaking out and leading to a larger investigation, probably to avoid being audited.
    • She has Tricia's body cremated immediately after being discovered even though her death was from drug overdose rather than hanging.
    • Has Pornstache merely suspended with pay after being caught in the act having sex with an inmate.
    • Strongly tries to dissuade Bennett from filing a report after discovering drugs being smuggled into the prison.
  • Desk Jockey: Caputo accuses her of being this, and he's right. She turns up for one day to let the inmates know they can see her whenever they want, then promptly disappears. She doesn't give a damn about a single one of them and doesn't interact with them, as such she has some of the least amount of screen time of all the other staff members.
  • Establishing Character Moment: Fig is introduced showing a video to the new inmates about all the "exciting activities" taking place at Litchfield, like classes and yoga. She also tells them that she's "a true advocate for women" and is free anytime for them. She then takes her very large and expensive-looking purse and leaves, brushing off Daya's question.
  • Hidden Depths: Despite her corruption and the horrible way she treats the inmates, Fig is shown to have an unhappy life married to a husband who doesn't want to sleep with her, secretly hoping for a baby, struggling with bulimia, and tirelessly enduring fundraising parties where people disrespect her.
  • Humiliation Conga: The Season 2 finale punishes Fig for her misdeeds from earlier in the series. After catching her husband cheating on her with a male staffer, Fig is found by Caputo crying in her office. After briefly comforting her, Caputo reveals (with a thickly stacked folder in hand) that he has knowledge of her previous embezzlements and plans to tell on her to the warden. In an effort to dissuade him, Fig gives him a blowjob. However, she then finds out that he had given the information to the warden already, and Caputo subsequently takes her job.
  • I Did What I Had to Do: Her corrupt practices and embezzlement directly harm the inmates, which she doesn't seem to care one whit about. She rationalizes this behavior as a way to fund her husband's state senate campaign, telling herself that he will fix the various issues with due process that lead to people getting sent to prison in the first place. And if you can keep people out of the system in the future, who the hell cares about the people that are already being screwed? How much she actually believes this is up to debate, of course.
  • Iron Lady: Fig is stone-cold, but she perceives herself as needing to be to handle the demands of her job.
  • Jerkass Has a Point: When she leaves and Caputo, who's criticized her and warred with her, takes her job she questions how good he will be when faced with the prison issues she's been dealing with. He turns out to be exactly like her, minus the embezzlement (thus far).
  • Karma Houdini: While she is finally fired for embezzling in the Season 2 Finale, her theft is still kept under wraps, with her reputation and her husband's election undamaged. The Warden even writes a (public) heartfelt letter expressing regret that she has to go and commending her for her good work at Litchfield. Caputo then spends the next season thanklessly trying to save the prison from being closed thanks to her embezzling, with everyone missing her and blaming him for the mess she made. Caputo lampshades this by asking, "How do you keep getting away with shit?"
  • Magic Skirt: In one scene, she's sitting on a desk, talking to someone, in a rather short skirt. It's digitally drawn over, likely for the actresses's modesty.
  • Show Some Leg: Her supporting tactic during negotiations with males.
  • Smug Snake: When she's not trying to charm someone, she oozes condescension.
  • Surrounded by Idiots: The demands of her job include dealing with the guards being repulsive and Caputo being inept as much as anything.
  • Your Cheating Heart: Her husband is having an affair with a male staffer, and she eventually begins an affair with Caputo.

Litchfield Guards

    Bell 

Wanda Bell

http://static.tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pub/images/bell_wanda_3278.jpg
Played By: Catherine Curtin

A prison guard, Bell is gruff and displays a general apathy to others. Nonetheless, she tends to be the most professional of the guards and takes her work seriously, especially the occasional visits from the Scared Straight program. During these visits, she displays a much deeper insight into individual inmates' histories and personalities than the other guards.
  • The Baroness: Initially comes off as one of the Rosa Klebb variety, though we eventually learn that she's actually straight and not as nasty as initial impressions would suggest.
  • Deadpan Snarker: Bell has a very dry sense of humor.
  • The Guards Must Be Crazy: She get it on with O'Neill from time to time meaning they both get Distracted by the Sexy.
  • Hidden Depths: Wanda has a very sweet relationship with Scott O'Neil, which is adorable even when they bicker with each other. She also loves kids.
  • Jerk with a Heart of Gold: She's pretty jaded and grumpy, but isn't openly sadistic like Mendez and is a good person at heart. She has lots of humanizing moments, particularly with her boyfriend Scott and their loving relationship. She also allows Morello and her new husband to consummate their marriage, despite conjugal visits being banned in federal prison. And when Caputo sells out to MCC she looks deeply disappointed rather than angry, suggesting that she genuinely respected him.
  • My Biological Clock Is Ticking: Discussed and Averted. When taking Pennsitucky out to buy party decorations, she reveals to the other female CO that she wants kids one day. When asked if she should be worried about her age, she reveals that several women in her family (including her mother) successfully gave birth in their 50's and 60's, so she's "got time."
  • Reasonable Authority Figure: Wanda isn't the nicest woman in the world, but she's basically a decent person and can be reasoned with.

    O'Neill 

Scott O'Neill

http://static.tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pub/images/neill_scott_5198.jpg
Played By: Joel Marsh Garland

An overweight and generally good-natured prison guard in a relationship with Wanda Bell. He is frequently shown eating, despite claiming to be on different fad diets.
  • Affectionate Nickname: Bell occasionally calls him "panda."
  • Ascended Extra: He steadily increases in appearances until we see details of his home life.
  • Berserk Button: Mentioning 'red velvet' to him is a bad idea. It's one of the few things besides Catholicism that really upsets him.
  • Big Fun: He's a big guy and easily the nicest guard in Litchfield.
  • Hidden Depths: O'Neill shares a very tender scene with Wanda Bell in which they discuss their relationship. He also wrote 300 words on Civil War memorabilia and is a decent banjolele player. It's also revealed that he resents Catholicism not just because he was punished an unfair amount of times during his Catholic schooling, but also that his family's Catholicism trapped his parents in an unhappy marriage which caused him to suffer. He also expresses disgust about a Catholic belief in the original sin.
  • Hypocritical Humor: Criticizes red velvet popularity for being a "fad," yet most of his appearances in the first two seasons involved him being on a new fad diet.
  • Irony: He's a nice guy to the prison inmates but is shown to be a customer from hell toward retail workers (particularly the guy at the donut shop), while Bell is tough on the prison inmates but is nicer toward retail workers.
  • Nice Guy: He's easily the nicest and most humane of all the guards, to the extent that the inmates generally consider him a favorite.
  • Noodle Incident: When ordered to distract the nuns in the Season 2 finale, O'Neill implies through conversation that he'd suffered a fair amount of punishment from his superiors in Catholic school.
  • Running Gag: He's always on some kind of new diet plan. This is gradually phased out.
  • Serious Business: Red velvet is a stupid fad and everyone knows it! The only thing that makes it taste good is the cream cheese frosting, "which is meant to be put on carrot cake like God intended."
  • Token Good Teammate: Of the guards, he's the nicest and therefore one of the more popular guards among the inmates.

    Bennett 

John Bennett

http://static.tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pub/images/bennett_john_6282.jpg
Played By: Matt McGorry

A prison guard and former soldier who is in a secret relationship with Daya.
  • Adorkable: Probably why Daya falls for him.
  • Artificial Limbs: Has a prosthetic leg below his left knee.
  • Beware the Nice Ones: John is generally a nice guy, but he has a tendency to abuse his authority when he gets stressed or upset.
  • Dirty Coward: Despite all his sweet moments and kindly nature, at the end of the day he amounts to an impulsive coward. Every act of bravery in the is at the repeated urging of someone else.
  • Ignored Confession: At Daya's urging, he tells Caputo he's the father of Daya's child after it was assumed to be Pornstache. Caputo refuses to take action because he doesn't want a scandal immediately after he assumes Fig's job.
  • I Want to Be a Real Man: His issues with feeling emasculated tend to have bad consequences for the black inmates, as he takes it out on them when he has a Freak Out.
  • Jerkass Façade: Like Susan below, Bennett acts rather abrasively towards inmates as part of his job. However, his interactions with Daya are genuinely sweet.
  • New Meat: He's pretty new to the prison, with Pornstache showing him the ropes in much of the first season. A Season 3 flashback shows him being new meat in Afghanistan, including an epic chew-out by a Drill Sergeant Nasty.
  • Noble Bigot with a Badge: Downplayed, but he expressed incredulous horror at Pornstache even considering having sex with Sophia. (And the issue was very pointedly not with consent or losing his job; issues Bennett later runs into in his own relationship with Daya.)
  • Phony Veteran: Zig-zagged. He did serve in Afghanistan, but his prosthetic leg is not a war wound. He lost it in a dirty hot tub in Orlando.
  • Screw This, I'm Outta Here!: After having dinner with Cesar and Daya's extended 'family', Bennett heads for the hills without even giving notice at his job.

    Maxwell 

Eliqua Maxwell

Played By: Lolita Foster

A female prison guard, she is most often assigned to watch the gate to the prison, allowing approved vendors to deliver goods. While at the gate, she often spends her time reading science fiction books.
  • Berserk Button: She does not like it when black inmates call her "sister."
  • Deadpan Snarker: In the S3 premiere when Wanda expresses her contemplation about motherhood.
    "You got a time machine?"
  • Everyone Has Standards: She was actually baffled by Wanda's suggestion of giving Jimmy more time of her sentence considering Jimmy's 100 years old.
  • Meta Guy: She's quite amused and entertained by the Piper/Larry/Alex Love Triangle, and derails Pornstache's search for contraband in the vegetable truck.
    Sounds like a horror movie, doesn't it? The Vegetable People? Like a giant celery serial killer, carrying a machete, or broccoli lightin' shit up with a flame-thrower. "Who's a smoothie, now, bitches?" [Pornstache has already left] ... Asshole. Shit's funny.
  • Nice Girl: Not as nice as O'Neill or Fischer due to her stern nature, but she's one of the few staff members who will casually converse with the inmates. In S 2 E 6, she and Piper chat for a bit, and in the S3 premiere, with Pennsatucky, where she even takes the latter's racist comment "Only African Americans smoke crack" with stride.

    Donaldson 

Wade Donaldson

Played By: Brendan Burke

A somewhat cranky and curmudgeonly guard who is perpetually worn-out by the antics of the inmates that he has to deal with. Nevertheless, he is surprisingly compassionate and good at dealing with difficult situations - on one occasion, he manages to help Daya recover from a panic attack almost immediately after discovering that she is having one, despite Bennett having spent ages trying to calm her.
  • Ascended Extra: He becomes more prominent throughout the progression of Season 2. His main role seemed to be to rounding up the numbers when the more prominent guards are just one guy short of completing a scene's needs. In Season 3, he grows in prominence.
  • Bald of Awesome: Bald as a cueball and one of the more competent guards... and later the object of lust of half of the prisoners.
  • Biggus Dickus: Maybe. Suzanne cites him as the inspiration for Admiral Rodcocker, but she might have just said it to get the obsessive fans of her erotic fiction off her back.
  • Jerk with a Heart of Gold: He orders a pregnant Daya to do 20 jumping jacks when she's hyperventilating over the close-quarters the inmates have to live in during a rain storm. Initially it seems like one of the most left-field and sadistic Kick the Dog moments in the series, but it turns out it's actually good advice that eases her claustrophobia.
  • What the Hell, Hero?: He gives one to Caputo in Season 4.

    Ford 

Charles Ford

Played By: Germar Terrell Gardner

One of the guards, he often escorts Morello and Rosa to Rosa's chemo appointments.
  • Ascended Extra: Ford becomes much more prominent in Season 3, acting as a particularly visible voice for the guards.
  • Genre Savvy: He checks up on Morello and the van every hour, unlike Susan. Unbeknownst to him, this makes sure Morello doesn't repeat her little road trip.
  • Informed Attractiveness: Some of the inmates and O'Neill consider him to be a very beautiful man.
  • Oh Crap!: At the end of the Season 2 finale.
  • Reasonable Authority Figure: He's an even-tempered, competent man who does his job well.
  • Stupid Sexy Flanders: O'Neill has a very poorly concealed man-crush on him.

    Luschek 

Joel Luschek

http://static.tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pub/images/luschek_joel.jpg
"It's Luschek. Like in 'loose check'."
Played By: Matt Peters

The sarcastic, uncaring and barely competent young prison guard who runs the electrical shop. He displays blatant racism, and generally doesn't care what the women in the shop do as long as they leave him alone, though he develops a friendship with Nichols. His method of teaching repairs tends to consist of handing his inmates a printed manual for the broken appliance and giving them a few minutes to read before sending them off.
  • The Alcoholic: It's strongly implied that him coming into work drunk is a frequent occurrence. He also spikes his drinks within Litchfield.
    You gotta show up high your first day. That way, they think that's who ya are.
  • The Atoner: In Season 4 he commits himself to getting Nicky out of the Max.
  • Black Comedy Rape: Judy King blackmails him into sleeping with her after she helps him to retrieve Nicky from Max.
  • Cake Eater: [[He sleeps first with Judy, and then with Judy and Yoga Jones.]]
  • Deadpan Snarker: He has a very sardonic, cruel sense of humor.
  • Dirty Coward: During the mass exodus of prisoners in the season 3 finale he sees it and just hides letting it happen.
  • Fat Bastard / Fat Idiot: Not fat exactly, but certainly tubby. He's also a idiotic jerk.
  • Incompatible Orientation: It's implied he had a crush on Nicky.
  • Jerkass: He's a lazy racist who treats other people like a genuine inconvenience.
  • Jerkass Has a Point: Despite many people hating him for it, in reality Luschek wasn't that much out of line with turning Nicky in. He didn't bust her for owning drugs at the first place, agreed to help her (though not because of a good heart) to get rid of them and even forgave her after she told him they were stolen. It was after she lied to him the second time and seriously endangered him by stashing a pack of heroin in his desk, when he finally snapped at her for being untrustworthy and threw her under the bus.
  • Laughably Evil: Less laughable and less evil than Mendez, but he does provide some black humor.
  • A Lighter Shade of Grey: He's not particularly cruel, won't go further than some obnoxious remarks against the prisoners and actually will hang out with some of them in a rather friendly manner.
  • The Load: Not only does he contribute nothing, he actually causes problems.
  • Mr. Fixit: Although at no point is he ever actually shown to successfully fix anything. Nicky lampshades that when she shows him how the inmates are lighting their contraband cigarettes with a battery and a gum wrapper — he asks how it works, and her response is an incredulous "You're head of electrical."
  • Odd Friendship: With Judy King.
  • Punch Clock Villain: Luschek's main goal is to sit at the back of his shop and do as little work as possible with as little interaction with inmates as possible.
  • Politically Incorrect Villain: He makes no attempt to hide his prejudices and flaunts them in front of the inmates.
  • Slouch of Villainy: This is Luschek's default mode of sitting. He constantly looks like he's trying to melt into whatever chair he's sitting in.
  • What Does She See in Him?: Why he had a chance with a girl like Fischer is a mystery.

    Pornstache 

George "Pornstache" Mendez

http://static.tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pub/images/mendez_george.jpg
"This shit, that shit, blue shit, bat shit, it doesn't matter what you do. It's the doing that makes you dirty."
Played By: Pablo Schreiber

"They think I'm so tall my feelings don't get hurt."

A corrupt, perverted and seemingly psychopathic prison guard who frequently abuses his authority. He seems to be the most ruthless of all the C Os, and is seen sexually assaulting and humiliating the inmates at every opportunity. His personality can be both laughably exaggerated as well as frightening.
  • Accidental Pun: Upon being asked whether homosexuals have appropriated mustaches as a gay symbol, Pornstache denies this, insisting that they're "for fucking men!"
  • The Aggressive Drug Dealer: He's not ready to just let his little side business dry up.
  • As the Good Book Says: Quotes Proverbs when Trisha is further stuck in his drug running schemes. Unlike most examples of this trope, Pornstache is definitely not religious or saintly.
    "The borrower is slave to the lender. That's from Proverbs, right there. Saw it on a bumper sticker."
  • Beauty Inversion: Without the spiky hair and creepy black mustache, clean-shaven Pablo Schreiber in reality looks like he could make the cover for GQ magazine; fans of Mendez are repeatedly amazed at how little Schreiber resembles his on-screen character in real life.[1]
  • Because You Were Nice to Me: Immediately falls for Daya, because she was the first person who expressed interest in just talking to him. Although his behavior makes it very obvious, why nobody else ever bothers.
  • Can't Get Away with Nuthin' :
    • Maybe having sex with an inmate is not 'nuthin', but Mendez has thus far groped prisoners, threatened one of them with rape, and it's implied he's occasionally blackmailed them into giving him sexual favors (implied with Tricia and tried this with Sophia) — and we talk here only about his sexual-related abuse. And yet he gets punished for the only act he committed with honest intentions and during which he was the party being used. Karma is a bitch.
    • He harassed and was a jerk to nearly everybody around him, but ended being screwed over by the only two people he generally loved and cared for.
  • Dirty Guard: Mendez has been smuggling drugs into the prison for a while.
  • Even Bad Men Love Their Mamas: Pornstache may be a misogynistic asshole but he loves his mother dearly, and she loves him in turn despite his flaws.
  • Even Evil Has Standards: Given how eagerly he abuses his power and authority, it says a lot when even he believes that Healy throwing Piper into the SHU for dancing with Alex in a somewhat provocative manner was uncalled for.
    Caputo: I don't know what the hell she's doing in Seg in the first place. Christ, even Mendez said it was uncalled for and that guy lives to throw people in the box!
  • Foil: His actions provide contrast to the ones of other people who were put in a similar positions.
    • To Bennett, most noticeably. Mendez is a criminal and a monumental jerk who enjoys abusing his power and harassing the prisoners, while Bennett is a personable, all-around nice guy. However when faced with the information they impregnated a prisoner (the same woman, no less), Mendez owns it loudly and proudly, jumps to take responsibility right away, not even minding being sent away to prison for it; while Bennett is wishy-washy about it, tries to avoid the trouble as much as possible until someone else presses him enough, and ends up bailing on Daya. Also, Mendez despite his villainy is sincerely loyal to his "friend" Bennett, while Bennett, albeit reluctantly, agrees to make the unsuspecting Mendez the scapegoat for his own actions.
    • To Coates, though the two never meet. Mendez owns being a sadistic asshole towards the prisoners, while Coates has a meek personality and seemed like a nice guy who would treat the prisoners like people. Mendez has once even made a prisoner drive away from prison and threatened her with rape — but turned out to be bluffing. Coates, in contrast, does to Pennsatucky exactly what Mendez wouldn't do to Morello, all while convincing himself that she asked for it and he isn't doing anything wrong.
  • Girl-on-Girl Is Hot: Why he's not bothered by Alex and Piper's raunchy dancing in "Fucksgiving."
  • Ignored Confession/I Reject Your Reality: After being told that Daya's baby isn't his, he ignores the confession and insists that the baby is his, because his love for Daya and the child have become his LivingEmotionalCrutchs in prison.
  • Jerkass: Pornstache is the most hated guard in the entire prison due to his sadistic tendencies, corruption and needless cruelty. He becomes something of a Jerkass Woobie when he reveals how lonely he is, and when he reappears in prison in Season 3, he looks very rough and breaks down while talking to his mother.
  • Kick the Son of a Bitch: His dressing-down of the judgmental, God-bothering Pennsatucky in Season 1.
  • Large Ham: He loves hamming it up; special mention goes for when he tears apart Piper and Miss Claudette's cube while humming 'In the Hall of the Mountain King'.
  • Laser-Guided Karma: He's a sadistic, tyrannical, sexually abusive guard who makes the inmates' time much harder than it has to be. Toward the end of Season 2, he's hauled off to prison and his brief appearance in Season 3 indicates that his stay has been hell as well.
  • Laughably Evil: His over-the-top villainy and general asshole behavior is sometimes played for laughs and always has a very theatrical flavor.
  • Ooh, Me Accent's Slipping: According to the Canadian-born Pablo Schreiber his character George Mendez is a Texas native; an idea he came up with himself to further distinguish him from the other characters. Mendez's Texan accent is heavy at certain points, lighter at other points and sometimes disappears altogether.
  • Politically Incorrect Villain: Zig-zagged. Despite being sexist, some of his views are more progressive than Bennett's; when the latter is shocked that Mendez is interested in having sex with Burset, Mendez casually tells him that he's a man of the present, not of the past. Although that may be a case of Bi the Way, as he claims anyone who used to own a dick "knows what it wants."
  • Pornstache: His namesake.
  • Put on a Bus: At the end of Season 1, he's suspended for having sex with Daya. Fig hires him back a little over midway through Season 2, but he's sent off again a few episodes later when the staff finds out she's pregnant.
  • Soft-Spoken Sadist: Considering how much of a ridiculously asshole Large Ham he usually is, it's pretty creepy when he acts like this while trying to intimidate Morello into telling him about Red's smuggling contraband.
  • Villainous Crush: On Daya, who he becomes downright obsessed with.

    Fischer 

Susan Fischer

http://static.tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pub/images/58656dbfff2ba2f34a50b57a0f853525.jpg
Played By: Lauren Lapkus

A rookie prison guard, hired onto the prison staff during Piper's time at Litchfield. Fischer used to bag groceries at the store where Piper and Larry shopped, and recalls how Piper used to be a difficult customer. However she is friendly toward Piper, informing her that she does not think any less of her for being in prison, since the only difference between them is that Fischer didn't get caught making mistakes. Piper appreciates her kind words and convinces her to reopen the prison track. She displays a perpetually naïve and cheerful demeanor, which endears some (especially Caputo) and irritates others. She struggles to come across as authoritative and strict, and her attempts to appear tough do not appear to intimidate any of the inmates at the slightest, who on occasion, even admonish Susan in return.
  • Can't Get Away with Nuthin' : She is the only guard who doesn't want to be rude or stern to the inmates, but is pressured to. In the first season she tries twice: one try results in ruining an emotional moment Yoga and Janae were having, and leaving her guilty, the second in the despairing Miss Claudette trying to strangle her.
  • Jerkass Façade: Pushed into dehumanizing the inmates by Caputo due to her kindness towards them. Unfortunately, she picked the wrong day to play rough with Miss Claudette.
  • Minion with an F in Evil: Not that the guards are evil for the most part but she seems too nice to be an effective guard
  • Naïve Newcomer: In the prison; she hasn't had the opportunity to become strict or apathetic like the other guards.
  • Nice Girl: She's a genuinely sweet and thoughtful young woman.
  • Oblivious to Love: She never seems to pick up on Caputo's crush on her. In Season 2, when he offers to get her off of work to come watch his band play on Valentine's Day, she misinterprets it as a group invitation and brings along some of the prison staff with her.
  • Put on a Bus: Midway through Season 2, she tries to stand up to Caputo, pointing out that the more stringent policies he'd been enforcing could have harmful effects on the inmates. Caputo, frustrated at the abuse he'd been taking from his superiors and possibly spurned by Fischer's ignorance to his feelings, ends up firing her.
  • Shrinking Violet: Fischer is too nervous and uncertain to impose any kind of authority in the prison.
  • Too Good for This Sinful Earth: Nonlethal example. She's one of few guards that try to get along with the inmates and steps up against Caputo's crackdown, silently urged on by the other guards who abandon her when she's fired. Afterwards, Nicky spells it out for her: She's a compassionate, intelligent (and beautiful) woman with her life ahead of her and she should be grateful for being kicked out since prison would drag her down over the years until she's as jaded as everyone else.

M.C.C.-Hired Guards

    Gerber 

CO Baxter "Gerber" Bayley

Played By: Alan Aisenberg

One of the new C Os hired after MCC took over the prison. He is nicknamed "Gerber" by Alex upon first seeing him due to his young age.
  • Adorkable: Especially when he tries to act tough.
  • The Cutie: He is adorable, to the point where Caputo tries to have him out of the prison before it corrupts him.
    • Break the Cutie: Due to his poor training, Bayley accidentally kills Poussey while trying to handle a violent outbreak of Suzanne's.
  • Disproportionate Retribution: As a result of improper training and being a jittery fellow anyway, he goes way overboard when an inmate makes a complaint. He promptly pepper sprays two inmates, Donaldson and himself.
  • My God, What Have I Done?: His accidental killing of Poussey hits him very hard.
  • Man Child: Despite being 21, he's very immature and seems to think like a junior high schooler rather than a legal, functional adult.
  • New Meat: He's one of the new C Os brought in by MCC. His youth results in the inmates nicknaming him 'Gerber'.
  • Nice Guy

    Coates 

CO Charlie "Donuts" Coates

Played By: James McMenamin

One of the new correctional officers hired after MCC lowers the prison's employment standards. Previously working at a donuts store frequented by O'Neill and Bell, he comes to the prison and becomes friends with Tiffany after being introduced to her for a van errand.
  • Adorkable: He's a little dim, a little sensitive and engages in bizarre but fun banter with Pennsatucky. It makes the revelation of his true nature all the more disturbing.
  • Asshole Victim: Unknowingly for him, he was very close to being one — and not figuratively — when Boo decided to avenge Pennsatucky by raping him with a broomstick, but they didn't go through it.
  • Badass Beard: He has a patchy one Pennsatucky describes to Boo as attractive, but in the end its closer to a Beard of Evil when he reveals his true nature.
  • Bitch in Sheep's Clothing: He seem like a nice Adorkable guy, but he's really a callous rapist.
  • Easily Forgiven: He apologizes to Tiffany and claims he didn't think he raped her. She just accepts it like that. Boo points out how ridiculous this is, but Tiffany doesn't listen to her.
  • Everyone Has Standards: A rapist as he is, he is still horrified by the new guards' treatment of the prisoners and repulsed by Luscheck's casual asshole'ism.
  • From Nobody to Nightmare: As far as we've seen. From a timid and pushed around donuts seller and later a dorky and pushed around prison guard to a power-drunk rapist of a prisoner.
  • Hate Sink: Easily one of the most despicable characters on a show full of them.
  • Karma Houdini: Downplayed. He is drugged by Pennsatucky and Big Boo once, but neither have the stomach to rape him with the broom, instead making for excellent Black Comedy as they argue about who should do the deed.
  • Knight of Cerebus: His arrival in season 3 and eventual rape of Pennsatucky is the first sign of the damage that M.C.C.'s hiring practices will do to Litchfield, and paves the way for even worse guards in season 4.
  • A Lighter Shade of Black: What he starts looking like when Piscatella's pack arrives in Season 4.
  • My God, What Have I Done?: Coates doesn't seem to realize that what he did to Pennsatucky was rape; when she spells it out for him, he's confused and horrified. When Luschek acts negligently towards Murphy, he becomes furious and rants about how they're meant to look after the inmates.
  • Obliviously Evil: He was convinced that he didn't rape Doggett, since he said "I love you" during the act.
  • Rape as Drama: He perpetrates that against Pennsatucky in the van.
  • Rape Is a Special Kind of Evil: The reason he stick out among the Laughably Evil or Sympathetic Murderer kind of folk as the true and irredeemable villain.
  • Walking Spoiler: It's hard to write something essential about him that wouldn't spoil Season 3.

    Sikowitz 

CO Erin Sikowitz

Played By: Eden Malyn

One of the new C Os at the prison, she is first seen participating in sexual harassment and self-defense training with the other new hires.

Piscatella's Guards

    Piscatella 

Capt. Desi Piscatella

A guard that previously worked in Max. Piscatella responded when the other guards from Litchfield walked out, and his performance impressed Caputo enough to get him appointed as the new captain of the guards. Piscatella is shown to be very strict with his methods, and becomes very unpopular with the inmates.
  • Abusive Parents: His mother sent him to pray-the-gay-away camps when he was a kid.
  • A Father to His Men: A rare negative example. He cares a lot about the people under his command, but since most of them are horrible people and he does practically nothing to prevent them from mistreating the inmates, he comes across as very unsympathetic.
  • Arch-Enemy: He grows to share a special enmity with Red.
  • Badass: Piscatella is a tough customer, there's no doubt about that.
  • The Beard: Discussed with when talking to Piper.
  • Beard of Evil: He has a thick beard and he isn't particularly sympathetic.
  • Big Bad: Of Season 4. The captain of a new group of sadistic guards.
  • Black and White Morality: Sees all veterans and C Os as good, and all criminals as bad. This becomes a problem when his unscrupulous underlings steadily increase their abuses against inmates yet he refuses to stop them because, hey, the inmates are criminals. Therefore they automatically deserve whatever his C Os do to them. Even when Humps forces two inmates to fight and one gets beat up so bad she's sent to Medical, and Poussay is killed.
  • Brown Note: He's fond of using a bullhorn to gain attention. The inmates and staff alike quickly grow to dread it.
  • Compensating for Something: The inmates speculate that it's usually the short men who act like they have something to prove, yet Piscapella is as tall as a building. They then giggle that he must have a Teeny Weenie. When Red discovers that he is homosexual, she pays him back for his unlawful interrogation of her by asking if a big military man like him has such a huge chip on his shoulder because of Camp Gay stereotypes.
  • Even Evil Has Standards: Piscatella might be harsh and ill-tempered, but he's a professional through-and-through who lacks his colleagues' sadistic or neglectful tendencies. When Lolly is having a freak-out, he's outraged by the other guards merely looking on and laughing. This comes to an abrupt end after a dead guard is discovered and he goes on the warpath.
  • Establishing Character Moment: His introduction establishes him very thoroughly: he barges onto Litchfield dressed in full riot gear, takes merciless control of the situation and makes sure everyone knows he's a deadly serious, and physically imposing, professional.
  • In-Series Nickname: The inmates call him "the bearded giant" and "ogre man."
  • Jerkass: Not very prevalent due to his professionalism, but he is an example. It shows during the end of the season when he blatantly mistreats Red because of personal dislike and tries to spin a web of lies to protect the guard who killed Poussey and shows absolutely no remorse for it.
  • Jumping Off the Slippery Slope: He's hardly a Nice Guy, but he doesn't seem overly nasty at first. He comes across as someone who believes fully in the job and has a no-nonsense approach, has a Pet the Dog moment or two and shows some deference before Caputo. He even gets a funny moment when he tries an 'ice-breaker' with new guards, but does so in his usual stern, humorless style. When the body of a guard is found, however, it all goes out the window. He tortures inmates, protects his psychotic underlings from retribution, practically usurps Caputo and indirectly causes the death of an inmate.
  • Large and in Charge: Piscatella is intimidatingly large, which contributes to his authority.
  • Manly Gay: If he hadn't straight out admitted it to Piper, nobody would have guessed.
  • Noodle Incident: Caputo uncovered the reason why Piscatella no longer works at the men's facility where he was before, but all we learn is that it involved something that Piscatella would really not like to be made public.
  • "The Reason You Suck" Speech: He gives one to Caputo.
    "All due respect, sir, my men and I apprehended the murderer last night while you were, I don't know, sleeping? Jerking off MCC? Who cares? I know it's been a while since you took the uniform off, but surely you remember what it's like to be on the ground in here, or maybe your fancy suit affects your memory? Enough is enough. You hired me to do a job, and now you're gonna let me do it. My way. Oh, and the next time you want to interact with my men, make sure it's to thank them for their tireless work instead of threatening them."
  • Tyrant Takes the Helm: As the newest guard, he takes command very quickly and takes no shit from anyone. He proves a force to be reckoned with. This is never more apparent than when Caputo tries to suspend Humphrey and Piscatella makes it terrifyingly clear who's really in charge. He's a step away from putting his arm on Caputo's shoulder and saying, "Do you feel in charge?"

    Mc Collough 

CO B. McCollough

Played By: Emily Tarver

    Dixon 

CO Lee Dixon

Played By: Mike Houston

  • Fat Bastard: He's overweight, and an utter jackass.
  • Jerkass: Dixon is a loud, boorish bully on a power trip with more than a few sexist and racist tendencies.
  • Jive Turkey: He claims to be able to relate with the black inmates because he comes from Memphis. When put into action, though, he comes across more like this.
  • Kick the Dog: He was a Jerkass from the start, but stomping on Taystee's watch that Caputo got for her just for asking when Suzanne will be back from interrogation was just heartless.
  • Man Child: He tends to act like an overgrown cliched fraternity brother.
  • Meaningful Name: Dixon is a dick.
  • Not So Different: Tries to invoke this with Gerber, after the latter accidentally kills Poussay. Dixon recites several horrific deeds he himself has committed, hoping that this comparison will cheer Bayley up. It obviously doesn't.
  • Obliviously Evil: He thinks that after committing several repulsive crimes while in the war he is still a good guy.
  • Pet the Dog: He tries to make Bayley feel better about the accidental death of Poussay while driving him home. Unfortunately, Dixon is so twisted that he ends up revealing the true depth of his evil by relating stories about the atrocities he committed in Afghanistan.
  • Sociopathic Soldier: Eventually it's revealed that he's not just some regular jackass guard; he's a monster who butchered innocent people in Afghanistan.
  • Rape Is a Special Kind of Evil: He reveals to Bayley that while in Afghanistan, he "had sex" with a young girl in a village, and then shot her afterwards because he figured her parents would kill her for being Defiled Forever anyway.
  • Would Hurt a Child: He reveals rather casually to Bayley that while in Afghanistan, he made a young child juggle live grenades and after they exploded, he killed the child.

    Humphrey 

CO Thomas "Humps" Humphrey

Played By: Michael Torpey

  • Dirty Coward: He's a big man when dealing with prisoners who can't defend themselves, but when he thinks he might be in danger himself? He smuggles a gun in, something even his fellow psychotic guards don't think of doing.
  • Hate Sink: He serves as this for the inmates. It takes a seriously despicable piece of shit to make the neo-nazis work with the black inmates to get rid of him.
  • Hoist By Their Own Petard: He smuggles a gun to allegedly "protect himself" into prison at the start of the final episode, and is on the receiving end of its barrel at the end of it by a very pissed off Daya.
  • Lack of Empathy: His response to Suzanne beating Maureen half to death is that he won 20 bucks on the outcome. Oh, and it was a fight he instigated.
  • Not-So-Harmless Villain: He's just another face in the line-up of new guards at first, and doesn't stand out in any way. He's not a Bitch in Sheep's Clothing, as he makes no effort to be nice and is very much in the same league as the likes of Dixon. He reveals his true colors as a horrible sadist later on.
  • Oh Crap!: Does not look too pleased to be staring down the barrel of his own gun, held by Daya, and surrounded by a prison full of pissed-off inmates at that.
  • Politically Incorrect Villain: He refers to Suzanne as an 'ape'.
  • Sadist: He's a vicious animal whose only joy in life comes from harming others, be it something minor and petty or something life-destroying and awful.
  • Sociopathic Soldier: Pornstache, Healy, Coates, even Vee . . . not a one of them has a patch on Thomas Humphrey when it comes to being an out-and-out monster. Even the other guards agree that he's a complete psychopath who creeps everyone else out. It becomes increasingly clear that if Humphrey wasn't a CO, he'd probably be out there doing some horrific shit.

    Stratman 

CO Stratman

Played By: Evan Arthur Hall

Other Staff

    Rogers 

Berdie Rogers

Played By: Marsha Stephanie Blake

The new prison counselor. She takes a different approach than Healy in counseling troubled inmates and starts a drama class. She tells Alex that she wants to make a difference in the prison system, which Alex considers noble but futile.
  • Deadpan Snarker: As is made clear in her initial verbal joust with Caputo.
  • Establishing Character Moment: Her first appearance is with Caputo, in which it's outright stated that she's smart, well-qualified and down-to-earth.
  • Good Is Not Dumb: Nice Girl thought she may be, she is Genre Savvy enough not to get tricked or taken advantage of by the prisoners (unlike pretty much every other new staff member in the series), and quickly figures out it was Healy who got her suspended because he's a vindictive Green-Eyed Monster.
  • Nice Girl: She gets along well with everyone she meets, even being fairly polite towards Healy before he starts to antagonize her too much.
  • Twofer Token Minority: Healy accuses her of thinking she would be better than him at his job because she is black and a woman.

    Dimaguiba 

Igme Dimaguiba

Played By: Alan R Rodriguez

The prison nurse.
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