So he tries to kill his uncle but the whole thing gets all bungled
And he ends up killing everybody else instead.
Four couples all get crossed
But there's an awful cost
When a war it comes-a-knockin' and the world starts a rockin' and so all their hard earned
loves labor's lost.
A duke he usurps his bro and then
They flee to the forest of Arden.
Two girls go and dress up just like men,
And I think this bit will come to an end.
Reciting AM's speech at the end of Roberto Benigni's Pinocchio.
Oancitizen's utter evisceration of Exterminating Angels
Narrator: "Why does sex lead to such violence and hypocrisy over matters that are no more than a tempest in a teapot?"
Oancitizen: "Because sex, for human beings, is a high risk, high stakes game that provides not only the problems of physical satisfaction and emotional security, but also the promise that your DNA will be passed on to another generation. It is because of these high stakes that it has become such a competitive enterprise, and the reason society has so many taboos, regulations and passions surrounding it. There, I solved your movie you insensitive asshat."
The crowning moment, though, comes at the end.
Oancitizen: "Jean-Claude Brisseau makes an erotic thriller by asking women to masturbate on camera for him. He gets punished for it. So he decides to make a film exploring his feelings about it. Okay, makes sense, tough time in his life, probably wanted to think it through for a while. But then he makes a movie, full of male fantasy pornfor which he definitely harassed evenmoreactresses, to answer questions about why this situation arose. And after all that soft-core soul searching, the answer Brisseau gives boils down to 'It's not my fault they love me so much. I just exude this warm charm that makes them open up and get all emotional and'...gah! You know, I don't know if anyone in this film is meant to be sympathetic, but it's certainly not this man who took his very real and very valid accusations of sexual harassment and turned them into a masturbatory fantasy. Jean-Claude Brisseau...fuck you."
Oancitizen: "Wait. Stop. Do you see that? See that guy? See him?" (circles a fat, homely man in his mid-50s) "That's the director. Not the suave, sophisticated, handsome man with the Anthony Stewart Head thing going on - that guy. THIS guy cast THIS guy [the actor playing Francoise] to play him. Now... do you understand... my anger?!?"
His opening speech to his review of 9 Songs. While also a Crowning Moment of Funny, it is all recited so fast and so nonchalantly, it's impressive. Shocking, but very VERY impressive.
A somewhat meta example, but it was quite impressive when he managed to make an analytical and even pretty fair review of A Serbian Film, despite said movie being infamous for its horrific, disturbing content that previousreviewers have understandably deemed, as Kyle himself put it, "unsavory". Granted, it doesn't last, but still! (For comparison's sake, A Serbian Film reduced Phelous to Unstoppable Rage, and Brad Jones's out-of-character review was one of bemused, horrified disgust, urging people not to see it at all.)
One particular moment: describing and explaining the context for the "NEWBORN! PORN!" moment. He actually makes that scene sound necessary.
In a meta sense, when he reviewed Slacker, he did it in the best way possible: phoning it in.
Angels In America. A serious review done with complete sincerity, only two or three minor jokes thrown in to lighten the mood, all in an effort to honor the victims of AIDS. His closing remarks alone are enough to make you tear up a little:
"For World's AIDS Day, we have to remember those who have fallen. The world only spins forward, and they will be citizens. The time has come. Bye, now. You are fabulous each and every one of you and I bless you. More life. The great work begins."
Oancitizen was able to find meaning and theme of Revolutonary Girl Utena and explain in a clear concise way. JesuOtaku was very impressed. Then the film's end pissed him off by its utter isanity and that made JO happy.
Actually, behind the scenes reveals that JO wrote the speech for him - but that doesn't diminish it.
His entire review for Haxan. Not just because it in itself was a silent film, complete with score, but because of how well-researched it was. He goes into great detail as to why the film was so revolutionary and what it predated or laid the groundwork for.
And then in the commentary of the show, admits that some spots weren't as well researched as the others. Also how he had to deep throat a banana. Twice. For a joke.
His in-depth research of cult playwright and architect Robert Wilson - for a punchline - in his review of Gerry. The man puts effort into these reviews.
Kyle's Melancholia review resonated so strongly with fans that hundreds of them started posting to Twitter, Tumblr and various other social media sites about it, praising Kyle for doing an outstanding job of reviewing and analyzing films in a genre that he loves and making the films and the reviews accessible. Almost all thanked him for speaking so openly, so realistically and with such depth about depression. Many stated that they had been struggling with depression for years and that they had never seen anyone speak so honestly about their illness. Some said that Kyle had given them hope for the first time in ages because they could see that someone out there really did understand.
He speaks Klingon, and can actually say 'To be or not to be' in Klingon.
In his Between the Lines review of Honey Boo Boo, he doesn't point out the silliness of the show or the people in it, but rather blasting the people that watch it, pointing out that more than anything else, it resembles a freakshow, marginalizing an individual and marking them as different from normal people. This culminates in him commenting on how the freakshow has more or less died out nowadays:
The sideshow is not gone, but it's unlikely to make a huge comeback, mostly due to a disposition called "political correctness", which is a florid way of saying basic human f**king decency.
Oh, and that last part is delivered in a deadly cold (albeit echoed and paired with huge captions) Tranquil Fury at the fact that Honey Boo Boo is essentially a freakshow centered around a six year old.
Kyle utterly deflating Peter Greenaway's claims of the deep satirical symbolism hidden within Rembrandt's The Night Watch (and his comment that anyone who does not recognize it as such is "visually illiterate") by constructing his own elaborate conspiracy theory about Illuminati lizard-men and Al Franken training an army of child soldiers under Graceland.
Ven kicking Kyle off the chair in the review of Room In Rome after pointing out that he can only give a straight man's perspective of the film, and then giving an opinion of the movie that is most definitely not that of a straight cis-man.
Kyle's Between The Lines episode on The Beatles is an incredibly well done, informative and educational look at poetry and language. It could easily be mistaken for a short film you'd see on the subject in a high school English class.
Kyle also deserves props for reciting/singing nearly every example he uses himself, with the exception being sung in a language he doesn't speak.
The entire review of Yeelen, in which a West African fantasy film serves as a springboard for an impeccably researched, intellectual discussion of Mali's culture and history, the concept of the "Hero's Journey", and how the unifying concept of nationalism can be very exclusionary in practice, the latter covering nearly a half of the review's runtime. What makes it all the more impressive is how he provides a balanced take on a topic as sensitive as nationalism (when he could have just as easily resorted to using Godwin's Law to discredit it) while also admitting that the paradox it presents offers no simple or quick answers. It's a thing of sheer beauty on par with Melancholia.
His quick and informative summation of the intricate plot threads within the novel Cloud Atlas, editing in appropriate visual and musical cues to distinguish the shifts in tone and subject matter.
His dissection of the film's use of yellowface, including rebutting the common argument from the film's defenders that the film also had plenty of whiteface. He even shares how he came up with a quite convincing argument for what the filmmakers were going for that justifies it...only for the whole thing to be invalidated when he found out Tykwer and the Wachowskis' first choice to play Sonmi-451 was the very white Natalie Portman.
Kyle's furious rebuttal to the critics of Perfume who suggested that the mass orgy near the end is the sort-of-protagonist's way of redeeming himself, by turning a would-be execution into a place of mass love. He points out that at the time, the execution would most likely have been attended by entire families, including children, and that the people were just fucking the first person within reach, so in fact, the mass orgy is nothing short of utterly horrifying.
His horrified summary of the ending of Spring Breakers, which comes off as very problematic in the wake of Trayvon Martin's death, and how the film itself otherizes black culture in an almost crypto-racist way, before launching into a critique on the extensive use of Male Gaze and "strong female characters" as a horny douche's conception of feminist empowerment.
Kyle: "Spring Breakers" is an STD, bred in the petri dish of American pop culture, and it infects everyone and everything... [...] He could be appropriating that culture to critique it, or to do it ironically, but... I don't see critique here. I don't see irony. [...] His arrangements of the pop items here... are indulgence. Harmony Korine wanted a Spring Break fantasy, and so he made a Spring Break fantasy."
Neatly dissecting the Unfortunate Implication of anti-democratic thought in the hawked Anti-Stratfordian theory in the film, which states the Tudor line could have continued...due to incest. And just to drive the point home, he shows a clip of Joffrey as he sarcastically intones "All hail Prince Tudor."
Pointing out that although many are willing to invoke Death of the Author for such luminaries as Edgar Degas (a venomously anti-Semitic, anti-Protestant bigot), John Lennon (a mercurial wife-beater), and Woody Allen (an incestuous pedophile), to accuse Shakespeare of plagiarism and fraud - simply because he was middle-class and somewhat uneducated - is monstrously elitist.