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Arson Murder And Jaywalking: Western Animation
Must have been one hell of a square dance.

  • In the Codename: Kids Next Door/The Grim Adventures of Billy & Mandy crossover, Billy's Dad says his lucky pants are immune to lasers, supernatural energy, and mustard.
  • From The Grim Adventures of Billy & Mandy episode "Creating Chaos", Eris describes her and Billy's reign of chaos as tornadoes to the north, flash floods to the south, fire snows to the east, and leprechauns astride beaver-tailed babies to the west.
    • In "Complete and Utter Chaos", when Mandy gets the Apple of Discord she claims that she will control chaos, rule discord, be a dark and terrible queen, and she might punch Irwin in the mouth.
    • In the episode "Happy Huggy Stuffy Bears", Eris boasts that with her and Mandy working together, they'd have all the control, all the power, and all the free chicken.
    • When the Boogeyman laments how children aren't as easily scared as they used to be, he blames TV, violent video games, and.....the tuba.
    • In Billy & Mandy Save Christmas, the path to Baron Von Ghoulish's castle is to go down Dead Man's Path, through the Crags of Endless Stabbing Pain, past the Tree of Evisceration, through the Cave of Horrible Smells, and through Lovable Pony Meadow. Subverted when Grim make an off-hand comment about the ponies being violent.
  • This is one of the more popular Rule of Three jokes on The Simpsons, and naming all of them would be slightly redundant. However, one prime example is when Burns chews out Homer after reviewing his performance record for the last ten years, citing "causing seventeen meltdowns, selling plutonium to the Iraqis without any markup, and taking the Hamburglar's birthday off last Monday and Wednesday! Which is it?"
    • Treehouse Of Horror XVIII, a Halloween special, had a sight gag version of this. As Ned Flanders is granted the power to make a mystical Hell House which shows the children of Springfield the wages of sin in Hell, he shows them the Seven Deadly Sins. While Homer is certainly a glutton and is consumed by spaghetti, and Willy shows Wrath and is beheaded by the machine he was futilely kicking, poor Dr. Hibbert is shown proudly sticking a "My Child Made the Honor Roll" bumper sticker on his car. He is immediately crushed by a truck driven by Mole Man and dies in agony for the sin of Pride.
    • In Simpsons Confidential, John Ortved's oral history of the show, former showrunner Mike Reiss describes the Brazilian Tourist Council's compliant about the episode "Blame It On Lisa":
      "When the Simpsons came to Rio, they encountered grinding poverty, rat-infested slums, pickpockets, kidnappers, and wild monkeys. There are no wild monkeys in Rio."
  • It happens frequently in Futurama as well, and they both have Matt Groening as a producer.
  • In an episode of the New Woody Woodpecker Show, Woody's car stalls near a conveniently placed bowling alley in the desert, run by none other than Buzz Buzzard, who offers a prize to who can beat him. Of course, being Buzz Buzzard who he is, he rigs the match completely so that he'll end up winning with a 300 score to keep with his reputation as "Champion" of the place. Turns out that, after he flees, Woody finds out his long list of offenses to the law, which includes "unlawful toenail clipping". But there's more: upon seeing this, he immediately calls the police on the phone and starts listing his offenses, to which the cop pays no mind whatsoever. Only when he mentions: "but Officer, he parked in a no-parking zone!" do the cops decide to flock in on him and arrest him (he was trying to escape in Woody's stalled car).
  • Teen Titans:
    • One episode Robin and Cyborg getting angry and insulting each other. Cyborg's is: "You're bossy, you're rude, you have no taste in music!"
    • There's also Killer Moth's ultimatum to the city, in which he'll unleash his army of mutant moth monsters unless the city declares him its ruler, the Teen Titans surrender, and Robin takes "this lovely young woman" (Killer Moth's extremely spoiled daughter) to the prom.
    • While phrased in a humorous manner, Starfire's first three reasons for why she feels left out when her sister visits are understandable.
    I am happy to see her, but Blackfire rules the video games and she is able to share very depressing poems and she knows the cool moves and she always knows when people are not talking about shovels.
    Starfire (As Raven): But what if they find us? What if our friends are doomed? What if I'm stuck looking like this forever?!
    Raven (As Starfire): We'll fix it. I don't know how, but we will rescue the boys and we will get our bodies back. (Beat) What's wrong with the way I look?
  • And of course, Family Guy had to get in on the action, too:
    • In the season one episode where Meg inadvertently joins a cult the same day Lois tries to have a birthday party for Stewie, the girl mixing the punch adds in cyanide, arsenic, rat poison, and a copy of Paul Reiser's book Couplehood.
    • Peter bemoaning the sudden popularity of Joe:
    Peter: Geez, first he takes my friends, then he takes my job! [stops] But the way I wear my hat? No, he can't take that from me...
    • When Brian prevents 9/11 from happening, Stewie fears that Saddam Hussein could be president, Mexico could be the world's dominant super power, or that Cookie Monster could have invented Facebook.
    • According to the anti-abortion video in the episode "Partial Terms of Endearment": "Remember, not only is abortion murder, but it's also larceny, jaywalking, and securities fraud."
  • Sponge Bob Square Pants:
    • Squidward talks about the Hash-Slinging Slasher, who accidentally cut off his own hand:
    Squidward: And he replaced his hand with a rusty spatula. And then, he got hit by a bus! And...at his funeral, they fired him!
    • There's also the scene where the Flying Dutchman, trying to be scary again, haunts Squidward with a series of freakish nightmares, including his own mother asking why he hasn't called her and then melting, and a giant SpongeBob dissolving into a pile of spiders. The scene ends with the Flying Dutchman doing the old severed finger magic trick, to which Squidward screams "No! Noooo! That's impossible!" and runs away terrified.
    • In "No Free Rides", Mrs. Puff steals SpongeBob's boatmobile, and they go through three road signs. One says "Giant Clams" but SpongeBob goes through it anyway. The next one says "Cheese Graters" and he survived through the giant cheese graters. But when they reach "Educational Television"...
    SpongeBob: "Educational television?!" OH, NO!!! AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!
    • In "Once Bitten", a concerned Squidward, after having just been bitten by Gary, asks SpongeBob whether Gary had all of his shots in order. The shots he lists are "rabies, snailpox, soft shell dance, bagitis, lumpy bump trump, and teen angst."
    • In Sandy, SpongeBob, and the Worm, SpongeBob describes the Alaskan Bull Worm as "Big, Scary, and Pink."
    • In "Life of Crime":
    Patrick: Confess!? Are you out of your mind!? Do you have any idea what they do to people like us? We’re not talking about some dumb mail fraud scheme or a hijacking here! WE STOLE A BALLOON!
    • In "Mermaid Man and Barnacle Boy V":
    1. I want to be treated like a superhero not a sidekick.
    2. I want to be called "Barnacle Man".
    3. I want an adult sized Krabby Patty.
    • In "Nautical Naughty Neighbors" when SpongeBob describes the bath scene:
    SpongeBob: My best friend, my ex best friend, and... RUBBER BATH TOYS!
    • And another scene after Patrick interrupts SpongeBob's singing and SpongeBob throws a huge tantrum:
    SpongeBob: (Strumming violently before slamming bassinet into floor) And Patrick is a dirty, stinky, rotten, friend STEALER!
    • In "Hooky" Mr. Krabs warns SpongeBob about the hooks and what happens if he gets caught.
    Mr. Krabs: Firs they cook ya, and then they eat ya! Or worse!
    SpongeBob: What could be worse than that?
    Mr. Krabs: Gift shops!
    • Let's just face it. SpongeBob basically revolves around this trope. Also, in the episode "Krabs à la Mode" when Mr. Krabs confronts Plankton:
    Mr. Krabs: [gasps] You've gone too far this time, Plankton. You can pound me employees, [punches SpongeBob through the gut] try to destroy me restaurant, but nobody messes with me thermostat.
  • Coop of Megas XLR was fond of this method. Once an Episode, he'd confront the Monster of the Week, and deliver a long monologue with the following format:
    Coop: All right you intergalactic snots! You busted up my car show!
    Jamie: Yeah!
    Coop: You wrecked my friends' rides!
    Jamie: Yeah!
    Coop: AND! You made me run half a block!
    Jamie: Yeah! (Record Scratch) Wait-Half a block?
    Coop: Now, it's payback time!
    • A classic:
    Coop: Listen up you dorky sounding, ice-grubing, robotic chump! You dinged my chrome, made me break my window AND snapped my favourite key! (Ator clears his throat) Oh yeah. You also tried to cut up the planet of the space big foots...
    • Often things were included in the list that weren't the villain's fault, usually things Coop himself had caused.
    Coop: This alien chick thinks she can get my ride towed, make me go to the DMV and take a road-test!? I DON'T NEED NO STINKING ROAD TEST!
    Jamie: Eh, dude, none of that stuff is her fault.
    Coop: Yeah...Well she's still trying to kidnap Kiva, that ain't cool neither.
    • And once it was all HIS fault.
    Coop: Listen here, you walking water heater. YOU guys attacked me.
    Jamie: Nope, that was you.
    Coop: YOU screwed up my warp drive.
    Kiva: You did that too.
    Coop: AND you made me miss the Monster Truck combat of the century!
    Jamie: Again, all you.
    Coop: Do ya mind? I'm on a roll here.
    • Coop lampshades this in an episode where he's yelling this at the Glorft leader who is actually on his side:
      Gorrath: Are you talking to me? I'm on your side now, remember!
      Coop: Oh. Sorry, force of habit.
      • Interesting note: that latter actually happened during the Crimean War, where the elderly Lord Raglan would repeatedly call the enemies "the French", despite the fact that the French were now on his side and they were fighting the Russians.
    • In Magnanimous's second appearance, he lists Coop's offenses as throwing him into a quantum singularity, destroying his empire, making him broke, and giving him a Twitchy Eye.
      Kiva: I knew there was something more to this than some stupid fight. This is about revenge!
      Magnanimous: It's about more than that, red. You put me in a quantum singularity, destroyed my empire, made me broke! And gave me this twitch. [eye twitches] It's about hurting you and I wish to go on hurting you, so I am going to humiliate you live. And while I'm at it, I think I might do a little destruction number on this planet of yours!...Oh wow, I guess it is about revenge.
  • The election episode of The Adventures of Jimmy Neutron: Boy Genius double subverts it. Ms. Fowl lists off the candidates' transgressions as "Bribery, blackmail, and murder", then corrects herself that the last wasn't actually murder, but operating a zeppelin on school property without a permit.
    • In the episode "Grumpy Young Men," the boys want to buy a violent video game that has Media Classifications describing it as "for mature players only due to violence, exaggerated mayhem, and old lady kicking."
    • In "Sorry, Wrong Era", Hugh pulls of an inversion of this trope. He uses a time machine to disgust Sam's customers, give Cindy and Libby brain-freeze, and makes a pregnant woman experience the miracle of childbirth "again and again and again".
  • As seen above with Nasty Canasta in Drip-Along Daffy, many Western-themed Looney Tunes shorts had wanted posters with the outlaw's offenses listed as "bank robbery, cattle rustling, and square-dance calling." Adding to that, another poster listed the third crime as square dancing in a roundhouse.
    • Possibly inspired by this, the 'Wanted Poster With Your Face On It' souvenir available at Legoland's 'Western' section features a long list of crimes ending with "..bank robbery, cattle rustling, horse theft, and kicking little old ladies in the knee."
  • Also used in the Looney Tunes classic "What's Opera, Doc?", when Elmer uses his Magic Helmet to attack Bugs Bunny with "Typhoons! Hurricanes! Earthquakes! SMOG!!"
    • To be fair, smog is quite toxic.
  • The Earth King in Avatar: The Last Airbender when the Gaang break into the palace, and then are caught by the guards, says "You invade my palace, lay waste to all my guards, break down my fancy door, and you expect me to trust you?"
    • According to the DVD commentary he really loved the fancy door.
    • In "The King of Omashu", the Gaang is brought before the eponymous King for 'vandalism, traveling under false pretenses and malicious destruction of cabbages.'
      • Well, the cabbages would have been food for people, and could have been traded to other towns to bring money in.
  • From VeggieTales, there's this exchange at the ending (or lack thereof) of "The Song Of The Cebu":
    Archibald: Wait! What happens next?
    Larry: Um...
    Archibald: Does the hippo see them? Is the poor mute cebu successful in communicating the imminent danger to the other passengers? Is the boy injured? Why is the sad cebu sad? Is the canoe wood...or aluminum?
    • And in another episode, the Babylonian priests' song where they're plotting against Daniel. In between proposing to have him thrown in jail or eaten by a crocodile, one of them comes up with the idea to give him jelly donuts and then take them away.
  • An episode of The Powerpuff Girls involved a Straw Feminist villain named Femme Fatale avoiding capture by the girls by claiming to be committing crimes in the name of women's rights. To counter this, Ms. Bellum and Ms. Keane gathered several female Townsville residents to talk to the girls:
    Bank Teller: Was Femme Fatale looking out for me when she stole from my bank?
    Policewoman: Was she looking out for me when she broke my arm?
    Teenager: Was she looking out for me when she stole my hairstyle? (everyone glares at her) Well, she did!
    • Another episode shows Mojo Jojo robbing a bank, a jewelry shop and... a DVD store.
    • In the episode, "Impeach Fuzz", when the Girls and Ms. Bellum try to convince The Mayor to take back his rightful position, they tell him that Fuzzy won't let the Girls fight crimes, has turned his office into a literal example of a pigsty, is tarnishing the image of what it is to be the Mayor, and is wearing his hat. Guess which one of these is The Mayor's berserk button.
    • From the episode, "Just Desserts", when Mrs. Smith shows Mr. Smith the features of the Smith Family Mini-van:
      Mrs. Smith: All terrain slash-proof white-wall tires, blinding 3000-watt headlights, five turbo jet engines for optimum speed, six liquid titanium rocket launchers, rotating laser cannon turret, and a spacious leather interior that comfortably seats a family of four.
    • In the episode, "Not So Awesome Blossom", one of Mojo Jojo's robots destroys the Museum of Fine Arts, the Opera House, and a 98¢ store.
    • In the episode, "I See a Funny Cartoon in Your Future", Madame Argentina goes to a voodoo shop and buys three voodoo dolls of the Powerpuff Girls, a box of pins, and a box of gumdrops.
  • The Grand Finale of Danny Phantom, after Danny steals the Infi Map back from Plasmius and tells him he seriously needs therapy.
    Plasmius: "Taking my map, destroying my satellite, mocking my mental health... it's time I finished off Danny Phantom once and for all!"
    • In one episode, Mr. Lancer says he hates Halloween because of the kids keying cars, egging houses, and bobbing for apples.
    • And in "Boxed-Up Fury", when Danny is reading about the contents of Pandora's Box:
    Danny: Plagues, pestilence, boy bands, man this is one evil box.
    • What Danny, Sam, and Tucker are in "a world of trouble" for near the end of "Kindred Spirits":
    Jack: Skipping school, stealing and wrecking the Spectre Speeder...
    Mr. Lancer: Calling me "OLD MAN"...
    • Plus, on the episode when Jack becomes the ghost after Danny changes the future:
    Maddie: You despicable, lying piece of... cheese!
    • "Mystery Meat" gives us two:
    Mr. Lancer: Tucker Foley. Chronic tardiness, talking in class, repeated loitering by the girl's locker room.
    (Tucker gives a sly smile)
    • Later, after Jack and Maddie captured Jazz while she was trying to counsel a goth boy:
    Jazz: You've ambushed me, suffocated me with smoke, and worse, I was pulled away from Spike before he had his breakthrough!
    • "Maternal Instincts":
    Vlad: (to Maddie) I've forgiven [Jack] for many things... causing the accident that ruined my life, stealing you, the backwash incident...
  • The Emperor's New Groove combines this with I Take Offense to That Last One, with the trivial item being the one that causes Kronk's Heel-Face Turn:
    Yzma: Kronk! Why did I think you could do this? This one simple thing. It's like I'm talking to a monkey!
    Kronk's Shoulder Angel: Whoa now.
    Yzma: A really, really big, stupid monkey named Kronk!
    Kronk's Shoulder Devil: Ouch.
    Yzma: And do you want to know something else? I've never liked your spinach puffs. Never!
    Kronk's Shoulder Devil: That's it. (cocks his pitchfork like a gun) She's going down.
    • Justified in that Kronk's cooking skills are the one thing he truly prides himself on.
      • As we learn in the sequel, Kronk had always dreamed of being a cook, but his father had mocked his ambition, making little Kronk cry.
  • When Stitch's destructive programming attempts to assert itself, his Mad Scientist creator Jumba gloats that "he will be irresistibly drawn to big cities, where he will back up sewers, reverse street signs, and steal everybody's left shoe."
  • Invoked by Red Tornado as he reeled off a list of a villain's crime in Batman: The Brave and the Bold.
    Red Tornado: Felony robbery. Parole violations. Felony assault. Jaywalking.
    • Immediately lampshaded by Batman: "Not NOW, Tornado!"
    • In one episode, there's a montage of the various things Superman did when he was affected by the Red Kryptonite: causes a storm at a beach, severely damaging a bridge by tying it together like shoelaces, and put a cat on a tree.
  • In an episode of American Dad!, "Bullocks to Stan", when Stan fights his boss Avery Bullock:
    Stan: This is for delaying my promotion! This is for disrespecting my daughter! And this is for not letting me stop at the creek for a drink!
    • In the episode "You Debt Your Life" Roger is about to get hit by a bus and he thinks back to the bad things he's done which included protesting the integration of a University, sinking the Exxon Valdez tanker, and creating Jar Jar Binks.
    • In "My Morning Straitjacket" Stan claims that rock music is the number one cause of teen pregnancy, school violence and leather pants.
    • In "Red October Sky" when Stan is looking for a former KGB agent his guesses to where he might be are Cuba, China, and back in time to kill Betsy Ross.
  • On Drawn Together, Ling Ling's father says that Ling Ling dishonors the family name of Hitler Bin Laden Seacrest.
    • Also Wooldoor finding out that Clara is keeping him sick with drain cleaner, cyanide, and Gerber's Apple/Banana sauce.
    • In another episode, Wooldoor notes that his television show can "entertain kids, annoy adults, and funny third thing!"
  • Glowface's minions in an episode of The X's are the Scream Queens, Sasquatch, the McVampires, Missing Link, Bio-Harold and Some Old Guy (who asks "Is this the nickel store?").
  • Uncle Ruckus, a main character on The Boondocks is a black man who hates black people and everything to do with them. He has stated that black people were better off with slavery and Jim Crow laws, and many other outrageous statements, despite his own skin color. His three favorite movies? Birth of a Nation, Gone With the Wind, and Notting Hill.
    • When trying to exorcise Mr. Stinkmeaner out of Tom he brings several items "guaranteed to scare a nigger": a whip, a branding iron, a noose, a night stick, and a job application.
  • In an episode of Pinky and the Brain, the main characters are in Egypt observing an archeological expedition in the Great Pyramid of Giza for Brain's latest scheme. Suddenly, a creepy Egyptian guy walks in on the archeologists:
    Egyptian Guy: Beware! Beware ignorant fools! To open the sacred burial chamber of Khufu is to invite a plague of misery upon humanity: fire shall rain down from the sky, locusts shall devour crops, the Olsen Twins...will make more movies.
    [Pinky and Brain gasp in horror]
    • In "The Pink Candidate", Brain was found guilty of "sedition, abuse of power and shoplifting".
    • In “Napoleon Brainaparte", an aristocrat tells his assistant that to prepare for Bonaparte’s return, he is to issue an order to “clear the streets of any undesirables, rabble-rousers, revolutionaries… in fact, anyone who looks really weird.” Then he quickly adds, “except you.”
  • Speaking of which, in the Animaniacs episode "Spell-Bound" (which was, incidentally, the first half-hour episode starring Pinky and the Brain extensively) there are no less than three examples. The first case is where the Brain is reading the table of contents of Merlin’s spell book: “Tabby cat turned into duck, tadpoles, magic uses of, Tahoe, how to win at blackjack…” (After reading that last one, he thinks about it for a couple of seconds, and then says, “Nah.”)
    • Second, the first four ingredients for the “Take Over the World Spell” (the one he was looking for) are: six lizard legs, two eyes of newt, two hedgehog spleens, and one half-eaten gingerbread cookie that’s been left on the counter overnight. (Getting the final ingredient, a red dragon toenail clipping, is the main plot.)
    • Later in the episode, while traveling through the Enchanted Forest to the Murky Mountain to get it, the pair comes across a signpost pointing to the "Glade of Woe", the "Chasm of Despair" and the "Pit of Barbecue". (In regards to the last one, the Brain says, "Perhaps later.")
  • Bounty Hamster. "You stand accused of breaking the Prime Directive, 16000 speed limits, and a really nice vase!"
    • On another occasion a bounty hunter arrests a criminal wanted for "12 robberies, 300 counts of dangerous flying, and dropping an ice cream truck into an active volcano."
  • In Ice Age: Dawn of the Dinosaurs, Buck lists off the rules if the heroes want him to help them: "Rule 1: Do whatever Buck says. Rule 2: Stay on the middle of the track.... Rule 3... He who has gas walks at the back."
  • The Foster's Home for Imaginary Friends episode "Bus the Two of Us" is about Bloo taking Mac for a joyride in the Foster's bus without Frankie's knowledge. They try to make it back as fast as possible without Frankie finding out. Needless to say, hilarity, and, this being Bloo, major lawbreaking, ensue. Unfortunately, Frankie sees the multiple police cars that followed them home. Over the end credits, she delivers her fury unto him with the following list of all the crimes he committed in the day:
    "Driving without a license, lying on a job application, destruction of private property, destruction of PUBLIC property, illegal use of toilet plungers, AND calling me a heifer! I mean, HONESTLY, Bloo, what do you have to say for yourself?!
    • In another episode, the gang is complaining to Madame Foster about the sinister deeds of an imaginary friend she sold the house to.
    Mac: He's giving away the friends for profit!
    Frankie: He's planning to demolish the house and turn it into a casino!
    Herriman: He made me his maid! (sniff) I wanted to be his First Lady.
  • On one episode of Total Drama Island, a monsoon hits Wawanakwa, and the inevitable flood washes the campers away. Owen, who's been in the confessional outhouse, finds said outhouse floating in the lake and delivers this gem:
    "I'm all alone! Adrift at sea! Without breakfast!"
  • From Buzz Lightyear of Star Command:
    "Name: Tork. Wanted in all fifty sectors on numerous counts of: Armed robbery. Extortion. Smuggling. Unpaid parking tickets..."
    "It's a list of evil things Zurg plans to do: Sabotage our fleet. Bust out all the prisoners from PC-7! And steal my newspaper."
    "Ooh! Messieur XR! You scoundrel! You skeeped out of your bill, enraged the chambermaid and stole our last blueberry bathrobe."
  • In an episode of the Animated Adaptation of Fraggle Rock, Gobo is exploring a cave and sees a sign warning him of a monster that lives there, that will "Bite your head off, stomp you till you're flat as a flapjack, and kick you into a bottomless pit from which you'll never return. And then, it will call you names."
  • In an episode of 3-2-1 Penguins! a villain is introduced by all of his horrible personality traits: he's rude, he's dishonest, etc. He ends by admitting (unashamedly), "And I don't always floss!"
  • In the crossover movie, Turtles Forever, the 2003 Turtles explain exactly how bad their Shredder is to their 1987 counterparts:
    Leonardo: You don't understand. The Utrom Shredder isn't like your Shredder. He's vicious...
    Donatello: Lethal...
    Michaelangelo: COMPETENT!

  • In one Dudley Do-Right episode, the eponymous character tries to get kicked out of the Mounted Police so that he can infiltrate Snidley Whiplash's gang, but everything goes wrong, from "You blew up the dam! The irrigation problem has been solved!" to "You burned down that building! We had been trying to tear it down for years and never got around to it!". He finally does manage to get in trouble, though... by eating his peas with a knife, something no Mountie should ever do!
  • South Park:
    • This trope is probably why "and she has stupid hair" is one of the funniest lines in the "Kyle's Mom is a Bitch" song.
    • In "Freak Strike," Cartman in his out-of-control persona claims to belong to twelve gangs that only commit hate crimes; to have run for Congress, won, then had sex with an intern, killed her, and hid the body; and to have digitally edited Jabba the Hutt into Star Wars.
    • In The Movie's trailer, we get this funny bit:
    Mr. Garrison: Eric, did you just say the F word?
    Sheila Broflovski: Did he say the S word?
    Mr. Mackey: Young man, did you just say the Q word?
    • Also from The Movie, we have Cartman's string of swears at the climax:
    Cartman: Fuck! Shit! Cock! Ass! Titties! Boner! Bitch! Muff! Pussy! Cunt! Butthole! Barbra Streisand!
    • In the Jewpacabra episode:
    Cartman: You can't scare a Jewpacabra, Butters. Don't forget we're dealing with a creature that drinks blood, hides in the night and has absolutely no belief in the divinity of Christ
    • Cartman in the episode "Scott Tenorman Must Die", where he has Scott's parents killed, grinds their corpses into chili which he then feeds to Scott and causes Scott to cry in front of his favorite band. Who then call him a "crybaby".
  • In the Bravestarr episode "The Witnesses", the list of convictions for Slugworth Moody reads: "5 convictions: Armed Robbery; 3 convictions: Space Piracy; 1 conviction: Illegal Parking".
  • In an episode of Top Cat where Officer Dibble has been replaced by another, even more strict, cop, T.C. convinced said cop that city's mayor is Cha-cha Charlie, a gangster wanted by police for extortion, smuggling and leading a dance school without permission.
  • In Red Hot Riding Hood, the wolf offers Red the following if she would just go with him:
    I will give you diamonds, furs, ermine. I will even give you a new set of white sidewall tires.
    • Red Hot Riding Hood came out in 1943, or, in other words, during World War II. Rubber was one of the several substances that were rationed as part of the war effort. It still fits the trope, but it's not quite as incongruous as it seems today.
  • Used in the Static Shock episode "The Big Leagues", when Static apprehends Ferret:
    Static: Let's see, so far I have you down for robbery, vandalism, and excessive cruelty to produce.
  • Garfield and Friends did this a few times, especially in the U.S. Acres shorts. Usually, the last thing mentioned was the lineup/schedule of a rival TV network (the show aired on CBS).
    Roy: Wade's confessing his crimes.
    Orson: What crimes?
    Roy: So far, the sinking of the Titanic, the St. Valentine's Day Massacre, the Spanish American War, and last season's NBC fall schedule.
    • Garfield also made a few pointed comments in "The Garfield Crime Files: Canine Conspiracy" about acts that should be considered criminal.
    Garfield: Like Benny "The Celery Stalk" Burlap, wanted for embezzlement, armed robbery, and buying a leisure suit after 1971.
    Garfield: Or Sam "The Spatula" Schmidlap, wanted for gambling, smuggling, and having one of those "Baby on Board" signs in his car windows.
    • And again, in "Arbuckle the Invincible":
    Garfield: Don't ever ask anyone to hit you over the head with a baseball bat.
    Garfield: Don't ever ask anyone to drop a ten-ton safe on you.
    Garfield: And especially don't ever sign a contract with an agent who dresses like that. That's really dangerous.
    • In the episode "Feline Felon," an America's Most Wanted parody shows one of the criminals is wanted for burglary, stealing the Klopman Diamond, and using a small child for a bookmark. Then another is wanted for robbery, extortion, and doing the Pennsylvania Polka in Rhode Island.
  • In The Fairly Oddparents episode "Bad Heir Day", Mr. Crocker wants the following for his birthday-"Number 1. To make 'em pay! Number 2. To show 'em all! Number 3...a Jet Ski!"
    • Also in "Emotion Commotion", Timmy had to dive through a lagoon with jagged rocks, alligators, piranhas, a whirlpool, a tornado and one really angry tourist.
    Tourist: The service here stinks.
    Mr. Turner: You dented a 747, destroyed Mr. Joel's glass house, and worse, Dinkleberg won my plaque!
    • Also in "Where's Wanda?", Timmy fishes up his dad, who wants to be a suspect. The end is taken literally. He stole cable, he ripped the tags off of mattresses, and he jaywalked.
  • The Fight For The Fox Box has Michelangelo of the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles say this in response to hearing that the FOX Box has been knocked off the air: "We've fought evil ninjas, evil robots, evil monsters... but cancelling my Saturday Morning Cartoons?! That's the evillest evil ever!"
  • Aladdin: The Genie is giving his master (Aladdin) some tips on wooing Princess Jasmine.
    Aladdin: Jasmine, I think you are...
    Genie: Magnificent! Glorious! (beat) Punctual!
    • Also from the animated series
      Genie: (Pretending to be a pirate) If she dares cross our path we'll keelhaul her! We'll lash her to the mizzenmast! We'll...make fun of her hairdo.
  • On King of the Hill, after Ladybird is put on the state's vicious-dogs list:
    Dale: I, too, am on more lists than I care to mention... the CIA, the FBI, L.L. Bean...
    • When Hank finds out about his birth place in "Yankee Hankie", Hank tells his father Cotton:
      Hank: Dad, it's your fault I was born in New York, that I can't drive my truck anymore, and that I tried a bagel and actually liked it!
  • In Hey Arnold! on the night before Arnold's Grandpa enters a big race.
    Grandpa: I could drop dead in that heat, or those maneating sharks could get me or my deodorant could give out.
    • In the episode where they go to the aquarium plays with this. The security guard rattles of a list such as no video cameras, no tapping on the glass, no feeding the fish, no diving in the shark tank, no smoking, no knives, no guns, no plastic explosives, but his most important rule is no skateboarding.
  • The Little Lulu Show episode, "Prisoner Exchange", had Tubby's Criminal Doppelgänger, Marty the Midget, who is wanted for burglary, kidnapping, grand theft auto, and worst of all, not looking both ways before crossing the street.
  • From BIONICLE:
    Vezon: So, what am I supposed to do on Destral? Theft? Assassination? Running with sharp objects?
  • ¡Mucha Lucha! gives us the gem:
    Tibor the Terrible: He called me a pirate! Plundering, scavenging, downloading MP3s!
    • Of course, in the whole series, masked wrestlers fight for "Honor... family... tradition... AND DONUTS!"
  • From the Justice League episode "The Brave and the Bold".
    Gorilla Grodd: Humans are weak, slow, stupid, and have an unpleasant body odor.
    • From the episode "Eclipsed" when the Flash goes into Orson Welles mode and chews out a commercial director:
    Flash: This bites! Your commercial's stupid, you're a no-talent hack, and your donuts are stale!
  • From the "I Am Rainfo" episode of Brandy & Mr. Whiskers: *Lola breaks in* "AAAH! The boa constrictor, it squeezes the life out of its prey!" *Cheryl and Meryl break in* "AAAH! Toucans, they use their beaks to crush fruits and defenseless animals!" *Ed breaks in* "AAAH! The river otter, it tells long boring stories and has a very weak bladder!"
    • In the episode "Lack of Brains vs. Brawns" Whiskers states that he and Brandy go together like peanut butter and jelly, bacon and eggs, and donkeys and trombones.
  • Justin Hammer from Iron Man: Armored Adventures has one:
    "I would rather be doing other things right now: base jumping, swimming with sharks, chasing beautiful women. You know, dangerous things.
  • Occurs quite a few times in Darkwing Duck. Some examples from "Time and Punishment", where in a distant future Darkwing becomes Darkwarrior Duck:
    Darkwarrior: Just think of it, a time machine capable of taking me anywhere in history I could lock up criminals before they commit crimes! Banks will be safe, drug stores will go unrobbed, and no one will get away with not brushing after every meal!
    Darkwarrior: (rewriting the Code of Hammurabi in Babylon) For stealing an ox the penalty is death, coveting wives: death, stealing grain: death, tracking mud through the kitchen: ...death!
  • From Daria
    Daria: Yeah, why should you be afraid of mass murderers, serial killers, torturers, cannibals, puppy kickers...
  • From The Venture Bros.:
    Gary: I've seen my only real friend die, I've seen a giant panty roll over a guy dressed up like a rainbow, I've seen the Donkey Kong kill screen, I've seen attack ships on fire off the shoulder of Orion...
  • A Robot Chicken sketch inverts the trope with Loki getting back at Thor for always making Santa's Nice list, while he himself is always Naughty. He does so by putting on a wig and cheap-looking helmet to make everyone think he's Thor, then does things like "urinating hither and yon", refilling his soda at a convenience store with a "No Refills" policy, and... blowing an old woman's head off with a pistol.
  • From the Codename: Kids Next Door episode "Operation: H.O.S.P.I.T.A.L.", while Numbuhs Two and Three were operating on their hurt fellow operative, who later turned out to be Bradley the skunk, the following items that Numbuh Two calls for during the surgery are a scalpel-laser-claw (a scalpel with a laser attached), a reboninator (a jackhammer-like device)... and a chili dog.
  • Used memorably in The Transformers, in the episode where the Decepticons sent Big Bad Galvatron into therapy for being too Ax-Crazy. In word association therapy:
    Therapist: Just say anything that comes to mind.
    Therapist: Continue.
    Galvatron: Rend! Mangle! Distort!
  • In the Freakazoid! episode "Hero Boy" Freakazoid's arch nemesis Gutierrez creates an evil twin of Freakazoid who goes around spreading mischief and chaos, later a news reporter states that Freakazoid has been charged for the crimes of tax evasion, mail fraud, and impersonating a Shriner.
  • In Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles (1987), Casey Jones does this in his premier episode. The crimes committed by the villains he stops includes: breaking-and-entering, attempted theft, armed robbery, loitering, and ripping off Casey's costume idea.
    Casey Jones: Trademark infringement? How low can ya get?
  • My Little Pony: Friendship Is Magic:
    • In the episode "Keep Calm and Flutter On", the protagonists list Discord's offenses from the previous season as turning Ponyville into a World Gone Mad, turning them into the opposite of their true selves, and making it rain chocolate milk without any whipped cream to go with it.
    • "Castle Mane-ia":
      • As the organ triggers various secret passages, Applejack is swapped for a statue, Rarity is tossed outside by Luna's throne, and a bowl of carrots pops up in front of Angel.
      • Later, when the girls are all separated, they all scream at terrifying things: Rainbow Dash at the scary suit of armor Applejack is swapped with; Applejack at a dragon statue on an outdoor ledge; Fluttershy at suddenly being alone; and Rarity at the bit of tapestry she accidentally ripped off.
  • Heavy Metal, from the segment Captain Sternn
    Bailiff: Lincoln Sternn, you stand here accused of twelve accounts of Murder in the First Degree, fourteen counts of Armed Theft of Federation Property, Twenty-two counts of Piracy in High Space, Eighteen counts of Fraud, Thirty-Seven counts of Rape, and one moving violation. How do you plead?
  • From Duck Dodgers, the Martian Queen, dumped by Dodgers on the eve of their wedding, reminds Commander X-2 just how much she has suffered.
    Martian Queen:"Let me tell you a story, Commander. A story of betrayal and lies, and a woman's heart torn asunder. Let me tell you of a consort's throne left vacant, a bridal chamber left barren, and a reception hall left filled with them big shrimp."
  • In the Rocket Monkeys episode "Zombie Bananas", when Wally and Gus are attacked by Lord Peel's zombified primates they exclaim "Zombie baboons! Zombie gibbons! Zombie chrysanthemum!"
  • Invoked, rather than played straight in an episode of Star Wars: The Clone Wars. While Ahsoka was on run after being framed for bombing the Jedi Temple, she recalibrated a holobooth's frequency, to prevent anyone from tracing her transmission. Seeing that Ventress sarcasticly remarked that, by doing so Ahsoka is adding another act to her own criminal record -a record which by that point included sedition, terrorism and multiple murders.
  • In the Phineas and Ferb episode "Phineas and Ferb's Quantum Boogaloo", Future!Candace accidentally creates a Bad Future in which Dr. Doofenshmirtz managed to rise to power on a tide of Moral Guardian hysteria and turn Danville into a dystopia where fun and creativity are outlawed, children are kept in People Jars until adulthood, and Doof makes everyone else change their names to "Joe" so he doesn't have to bother memorizing them.
  • Generator Rex: At the end of "Rock My World", Rex lists the crimes Sebastian will be charged with:
    "Attempted murder, assault and battery, construction without a permit..."
  • Played with in the second episode of Ducktales when Flintheart Glomgold and El Capitan set off the homemade alarm and wake everyone up:
    Scrooge: (startled out of his sleep) Robbers! Thieves! Politicians!
  • In The Simpsons episode "Funeral for a Fiend", Sideshow Bob defends his case of attempting to kill Bart by asking the jury about the bad things Bart has done to them.
    Luigi: He ordered pranks pizzas to 888 Poopypants Lane. Everybody knows Poopypants Lane ends in the 700 block!
    Cletus: He mocked my folksy ways!
    Homer: He cheats at Uno!
  • In the My Life as a Teenage Robot episode "Hostile Makeover", after Jenny is turned into a raging behemoth by a Cluster parasite she contracted fighting Vexus, she hears Tuck's familiar scream of terror and we're shown a flashback of him screaming at being stuck on a stalled Ferris wheel, being in an alien spaceship with Brad, and Neapolitan ice cream.
  • From the Earthworm Jim episode "For Whom The Jingle Bell Tolls" after learning that Santa has been kidnapped:
    Earthworm Jim: Without Christmas the U.S. economy will collapse, anarchy will reign, and I won't get my pony!
    • From "The Conqueror Worm" when Jim's evil twin is committing crimes in the city:
    News Anchor: Last night's mysterious crime spree included a bank robbery...
    Earthworm Jim: Pfft, big deal!
    News Anchor: ...Acts of wanton destruction...
    Earthworm Jim: Kid's stuff.
    News Anchor: ...And the theft of condiment packets from fast food joints.
    Earthworm Jim: (gasps) The fiend! he must be stopped for the good of mankind!
  • In the T.U.F.F. Puppy episode "Snappy Campers", the camp is surrounded by a nuclear reactor, a dynamite factory, and an 88¢ store. Subverted in that the 88¢ store sells bombs for 88¢ each.
  • In the episode "Dreamscapers" of Gravity Falls, the gang is seen watching TV and discussing what Gideon has done to them.
    Mabel: Remember when I wouldn't date him and he tried to destroy us?
    Stan: He's always trying to trick me into giving him the Mystery Shack!
    Wendy: One time I caught him using my moisturizer.
    • From the same episode:
    Bill: Remember: reality is an illusion, the universe is a hologram, buy gold. BYYYYEEEE!
    • When Dipper looks up Bill Cipher in journal #3, a cryptogram behind Bill's picture translates into "LIAR, MONSTER, SNAPPY DRESSER".
  • In Adventure Time, an exasperated Root Beer Guy, desperate to convince the Banana Guards that Princess Bubblegum is in mortal danger, resorts to implicating himself in the crime. However, he finds that even that isn't enough.
    Root Beer Guy: Don't hang up! Uh, I'm Root Beer Guy. I'm the guy who kidnapped Princess Bubblegum! Yeah, yeah, wrapped her in a carpet, yeah, and I'm gonna dump her in Lake Butterscotch! I'm completely insane, ahahahaha, but you still have time to stop me. Get up to Lake Butterscotch right now, Banana Guard...
    *Banana Guard does not respond*
    Root Beer Guy: Uh... and I took a boat out after 8 o' clock.
    Banana Guard: Emergency! Quickly, Lake Butterscotch!
  • Regular Show has Mordecai going through the contents of Death's fridge.
    Mordecai: Soul juice... goat's feet... Ewww! Almond milk!
  • In Dave the Barbarian, Princess Irmaplotz describes her evil deeds:
    "I do all the evil things: destroy civilizations, torment innocent people, return library books...late."
  • In an episode of The Life and Times of Juniper Lee when Loki is arguing with his human Anti-Antichrist son about the latter's refusal to kill June, he suspects Loki will banish him like his Aunt Gloria, his Uncle Teddy and the pizza guy. Loki reasons "When I ask for a half veggie, half pepperoni pan pizza, I expect a half veggie... half pepperoni... pan... PIZZA!"

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